DISCLAIMER: I don't own the X-Men or any other characters, etc. Marvel, etc, or Hanson. I do lay claim to the FOH members, the OC ones, but only with reluctance, and Diana Clayton as well, I guess. I also lay claim to Suzanne and the lousy assassins.


A/N: Sorry it took so long. I've had 0 time to write. I'm trying though.


Chapter Fifty-Two:

Remy glares at the blond in front of him. "What are ya doing here, Bells?"

"Not y' apparently," she nods at Rogue. Rogue resists the urge to smack her.

"Just every ot'er man t'is side of t'e Mississippi?" Remy taunts.

Belladonna rolls her eyes. "Why did I decide t' warn him again?" she mutters to herself.

"Warn Remy? 'Bout what?" Remy asks.

"Accordingly ta the 'Merry Little Murderess' oveh there, Julian's gone nuts, tried ta kill Henri, and kidnapped Jean-Luc," Rogue tells him. (1)

"Ya tell the Professor we be leavin'?" Remy asks.

"Nope," Rogue says. "I didn't think ya wanted the entire mansion ta know 'bout the Guilds and this little witch."

"Why y' bein' so mean t' lil' ol' me?" Bella whines.

"Maybe 'cause ya called me a boyfriend-stealin' tramp?" deadpans Rogue.

Bella rolls her eyes. "Y' take t'in's too personally, jus' like Rems."

"Ah don't think there's any otheh way ta take y'all sleepin' with half av New Orleans!" Rogue crosses her arms.

"Let's just go," Remy says with a groan. Rogue and Bella get along worse than he gets along with Bella, and he can't stand to look at Bella. This is going to be a long ride. He puts his helmet on.

Bella frowns. "I want t' ride wit' Rems."

"Not gonna happen," Rogue growls. "Put on y'all's helmet – now!"

Bella frowns, but does as she's told. "Can' we at least go back t' my hotel and get my bike?"

"Now t'at's a good idea," Remy says.


Lorna Dane looks out of the window. She has been adjusting fine to life at the mansion, other than the lack of sleep. She yawns. This is the second day in a row she was woken up by Bobby freezing her bed.

"You get used to it," Jubilee offers.

"Getting up early?" Lorna asks.

"Nah, Bobby freezing your bed, your drawers, the bathroom…" Jubilee supplies. Then she giggles.

"If he wasn't so cute, he'd be dead," Lorna says with a grin.

"Tell me about it," Jubilee says with a laugh.

Logan comes around the corner. "What's that about you two thinking Iceboy is cute?"

Jubilee groans. "Gee, Mr. Logan, you are as bad as a woman. We're just gossiping."

"I could use a little gossip," Logan says.

Lorna frowns, "I can supply you with some." Then she smirks. "Rogue took off with some blond on her bike this morning, and hasn't been back. Gambit hasn't come back from buying cards either."

"What?" Logan growls. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Lorna shrugs. "Couldn't find you. Kitty was eavesdropping on them. Well, she was trying to eavesdrop, but she didn't hear anything."

"So she peeked through the door, but the window was open, and the girls were gone," Jubilee informs him.

"I think Professor Xavier is going to have a coronary," Lorna adds.

Jubilee nods.

Logan's jaw drops, "I think I better go find Chuck…"


Back in France, Henri is trying to hotwire a car without being noticed. Suzanne and the rest of the assassins have been close, but pretty unobservant. The car revs up, and he grins. The owner rushes out.

"Que faites-vous pour ma voiture?" the owner screams. (2)

"So long, sucker!" Henri calls out.

Suzanne looks up and sees Henri drive off. "Oh, non! Y' boys get off y'r butts! Dere's de mark!"

The guys all look over. "Oh great, Julian's gonna be mad."


Marius Boudreaux looks at his son. "Y' disobeyed orders. Y' sent dose reprobates y' call de Rippers t' France t' kill Henri, which dey haven' done, I might add. Y' broke de treaty." He shakes his head. Then he grins. "I would be mad, but dis is such an opportunity." He turns his attention to Jean-Luc LeBeau, who is tied up in a chair. "Shame t' waste such an opportunity, eh, Jean-Luc?"

Jean-Luc responds by spitting on Marius' shoes. He smiles back. "Shame t' waste such an opportunity, eh, Marius?"

Marius responds by punching Jean-Luc in the eye, causing the skin to begin to swell almost immediately. He turns his attention back to Julian. "Fine, son. Good job. Y' back in de Guild."

"What 'bout mes amis?" Julian asks.

"Well, now, dat depends on t'eir success in France," Marius grins evilly at Jean-Luc.

"No!" Jean-Luc skirms, but his bonds hold tight. Marius knocks him out.


Wanda pulls back from a long kiss. She smiles sadly at Pyro. He frowns at her. "You're sure you don't want to talk to her about it?" he asks.

Wanda sighs. "We've been through this." She stands up. "I don't want to talk about that traitor right now."

"She's your sister and your best friend," Pyro says.

She raises an eyebrow. "You're my best friend."

He grins at her. There is a loud banging right outside their door.

"I'm gonna kill someone!" Sabretooth's voice rages.

Wanda and Pyro look at each other. "It wasn't me, mate," Pyro tells her.

"Not me either. Let's find out what happened," Wanda says, opening her door and stepping out. Pyro follows her closely.

Sabretooth is standing in the middle of the hallway, breathing heavy from wrath and looking from side to side. Wanda and Pyro start laughing. He is completely purple.

"If you had something to do with this, Pyro," Victor starts.

"First I've heard of it," Pyro says, raising his hands innocently.

"Don't look at me," Wanda says. "I've been with John all day."

Pyro grins widely as he thinks of what they've been doing. He can't hold in the laughter and bursts out giggling. Wanda starts laughing again too.

Victor doesn't think it's so funny and tries to swing at them, but he can barely move. "It's – drying!"

"What is it?" Wanda asks.

"Smells – like – superglue – and – purple – dye!" rages Sabretooth, who is barely able to move his mouth.

Pyro and Wanda burst out laughing heartily. Pietro zips into the hallway and stops in front of Wanda. "Haveyouseen… What happened to you?" He bursts out laughing.

"Well, I – guess – that – leaves – you – out," growls Sabretooth.

Wanda sees a shampoo bottle on the floor of Sabretooth's room. She walks in and sniffs it. It smells terrible. She looks at it and notices the label is bulging. She tears it off and finds a small piece of paper.

"What – is – it?" Sabretooth begs.

"It looks like a note," Wanda says. She opens it and starts laughing.

"What?" roars the purple beast.

"It says, 'Since you like notes so much, here's one for you.' It isn't signed, but it has three claw marks," she says.

"Logan!" he growls.

"What is all this about?" Johnny asks between giggles.

"It's – been – a – while. He's – just – that – slow," Victor snarls. "Probably – had – help, the – runt!"(3)

The other three mutants start laughing harder.

"Somebody – better – start – helping!"

"I'll," Wanda starts, "go find some, ha ha, glue solvent." She can't stop laughing.


Logan almost runs into Kurt. "Hey, are ya alright, Elf?"

"Ja, I've learned by now zat Rogue can handle herself. Still, the Professor is looking for zeir signatures. A few of us vill go after zem," Kurt says. "Vant to come?"

"Sure," Logan nods. "I was wanting to tell you thanks."

Kurt grins, "Did you do it?"

"Yup," Logan nodded. "You were right. It was great. I even put up a hidden camera that links to my cell. Take a look."

Kurt looks over at the phone to see a very stuck and very purple Sabretooth yelling and raging. He burst out laughing.

Logan grins. "Best idea you ever had." He chuckles.

"No problem," Kurt says, laughing. "I am ze King of Pranks!"

"You certainly are," Logan acknowledges. "'Course, if I catch ya pulling one on me, elf, you'll live to regret it." He grins. Kurt gulps and shakes his head.


Sinister reads the newspaper as Sienna fixes her hair. He plans on taking her out to a nice dinner. Sienna smiles at him. He's dressed in a suit, and is in his Nathaniel Essex persona so he won't stand out. As soon as she looks away, Sinister looks peeks at a specific article. The mutant he's after is in a picture. The police are looking for him. Sinister needs to know more about the mutant, but he can't risk losing Sienna… He stands up and goes to kiss her cheek. He plans to return to Paris without her after the baby is born. He hopes the mutant will still be there.


The trip was going a lot better since they picked up Bella's bike. Rogue and Remy were riding next to each other with Bella behind them. They pull over and head to a motel for the night. They get one room with two beds. Inside, Remy and Rogue ask Bella more questions.

"So, why Julian goin' all nuts?" Remy asks.

"He be pretty angry 'bout y' leavin' m' at t'e altar fer one," Bella says sarcastically.

"Oh, 'cause Rems should have married y'all's cheatin' butt?" Rogue drawls.

Belladonna rolls her blue eyes. "Well, I was jus' havin' a lil' fun, Rems darlin'. Don' know why y' had t' pick that tramp over m'."

Rogue narrows her eyes, "Ya call me a tramp one more time…"

Bella shrugs. "Y' threatenin' an assassin? Ain' smart, y' know."

"Ah ain't worried 'bout y'all killin' me," Rogue growls.

"Y' should be," Bella says with an evil grin. "Y' can' fight wort' a flip."

Rogue glares at her, making Bella a little nervous. Remy can tell through his empathy, but says nothing. Bella acts more confident than she feels. "Let's just say Ah've learned a little more 'bout fightin' since y'all've seen me," Rogue says.

"Ooo, I'm so scared!" Bella says, adding a giggle for good measure.

Rogue turns to Remy. "Ah hate her."

"Remy too, chère," he replies. "Remy too."

Belladonna sighs with frustration. She hasn't been able to turn Remy's head at all since Rogue showed up in New Orleans. She has to give Rogue one thing; the girl knows how to flirt.

"Back t' Julian. Y'all know t'ings didn't go well wit' Papa an' Jules after de disaster o' a weddin'. Papa didn' like Julian harpin' on how de treaty should be broke wit' y' walkin' out o' dere. Papa," she says, crossing her arms. She blows out a frustrated tuff of air. "Papa say I broke de treaty firs', so Rems didn' have t' marry m'. Julian got int' a fight wit' Papa an' dragged a few o' his amis int' it. Got dem all kicked out de guild." She grins. "Suzanne Dubois was one o' dem."

Rogue and Remy roll their eyes. "Suzanne is a slut," Rogue says.

"Dat one o' de few t'ings I agree wit' y' on," Bella nods.

Remy laughs. The girls look over. "Ya wanna die, Remy?"

"No, River Rat. Remy jus' t'ink it's funny to see you two getting' along."

"I t'ink we should make him sleep in de chair," Bella says.

"We definitely should," Rogue says with a nod. "No reason ta get Papa and Logan all riled up."

Remy's eye grow two sizes. "You t'ink t'ey'll follow us?"

Rogue crosses her arms. "Are ya stupid? 'Course they're gonna follow us."

"Who is Logan? And who y' callin' Papa now?" Bella asks.

"It's a long story," Rogue replies.

"I got all night," Bella says.


Harrison made bail for Duncan, Jeffery, and the rest of them. All the way back to the lodge, he sits in silence. The boys are scared out of their minds. Inside the lodge, Harrison turns to the boys. "That was the stupidest thing you've ever done! Seriously! They are mutants! You are teenagers! You have to be more careful! You don't want to make a bad image for Mr. Creed right when he's running for Senator! It was a terrible thing to do! Don't tell me about your car, Duncan. I don't want to hear it! So he trashed your car! Bring it up at the next meeting and we'll fix it! You don't go around doing things like this! You know why? Because you can get caught – just like you were! We want to hit the mutants where it hurts! We don't want young, innocent boys like you getting arrested, hurt, or even killed! You have to let us take care of these things! We could have done something a little more – quiet. There's lots of ways to get rid of someone who lives in a SEWER! Now, boys – show me how you made those guns."

Duncan and Jeffery grin at each other. Harrison is going to be impressed.


"Y'r père is a telepat'?" Bella says, after a long story.

Rogue nods. "He's one av the strongest in the world."

"Wow," she says, sighing. "Papa ain' a mutant. He's jus' skilled."

"Ah'm sure," Rogue says. "Now, what has Julian so riled up anyway? He never wanted Remy ta marry ya before the weddin'."

Bella sighs. "I t'ink he jus' wan' an excuse t' break de treaty and start de war again. Dat's why he captured Jean-Luc. He knows Papa ain' gonna be able t' resist dat! He and Jean-Luc been goin' at it all t'eir lives."

Remy nods. "He used to tell Remy stories 'bout t'at."

"Like de time Papa put superglue in Jean-Luc's toolbox an' he couldn' get his tools out fer his job," Bella says, laughing. "Y'r grand-père was so mad!"

"Or t'e time Pap spray-painted all of Marius' scopes black and he couldn't see t'e targets?" Remy says with a grin.

"Remember when y' glued de back of my skirt t' my shirt an' t'e whole school saw my underwear?" Bella says.

"Yeah, Remy remember t'at. Remy also remember you wouldn't speak to him for a mont' after t'at."

"Do y' blame m'? I was madly in love wit' our teacher at de time an' he was not impressed," she snaps.

"Remy was mad at you because you stole his cd's and replaced t'em with Hanson," he says.

"I like Hanson," Bella replies.

"Y'all would," Rogue says.

"What dat suppose' t' mean?" Bella snaps.

"What it sounds like," Rogue growls.

"Femmes, please! Remy don't want to listen to t'is all night!"

"Who asked you?" the girls both say.

"Oh, no, no gangin' up on Remy!" he shouts.

The girls look at each other. "Let's get him," Bella says.

Rogue nods. Remy backs slowly away and then begins to run. Rogue catches him and Bella starts tickling. "T'is not fair!" Remy says, gasping for air between laughs. "T'is not fair!"


Professor Xavier slips off his helmet in frustration. "They aren't using their powers."

Storm looks at him sadly. "I am sorry, Charles. I am sure she had a good reason to leave without telling anyone."

"It just doesn't make sense," Xavier claims. "She seemed to be getting along with everyone. Well, everyone except for Scott." He sighs. He loves Scott like his own. He really wishes Rogue and Scott could at least be friends.

"Things will work out. Rogue doesn't go very long without using her powers. Sooner or later, she'll use them and she'll show up on Cerebro."

Charles nods. "I guess I'll keep trying."


To be continued . . .


A/N: (1) I love "Chicago," which I do not own either. Well, I own a DVD of the movie, but not the rights…

(2) What are you doing to my car?

(3) To find out why Logan mixed superglue and purple dye together and put them in Sabretooth's shampoo bottle, please go read Sabretooth's Revenge: Logan's Fright.

Will Apocalypse take over the world? When will Remy and company make it to Louisiana? Will Charles find them? Will they save Jean-Luc? Why does Julian hate Remy so much? What will happen to Lucas/David/Ian? How long will Graydon take to heal? Will Jaime ever find out what his title means? Will Henri make it back from France with the Rippers on his tail? Will Siena marry Sinister? Will Ororo ever find out who the baby's real father is? What is up with those spheres? Will Scott stop acting like he's got a pole up his. . . er, never mind. . . Will I ever stop making up these ridiculous questions? All these answers and more as A Split in Reality continues.

Please Review! :) Pretty Please, with sugar on top. :) And a cherry! And nuts. . . And Chocolate sauce! And Whipped Cream! And a banana! And butterscotch! And, um, gummy bears! :) ! And candy corn! And um, peanut butter? Jelly? Um, raisins? And M&Ms! And. . . um. . . Marshmellows! And Gummy Lifesavers! And Stride Gum! And Cinnamon Toothpicks! And Pixy Sticks! And Dr. Pepper! And a spork to eat it with!

Seriously, though, the more reviews a chapter gets, the guiltier I feel about taking forever to update. . . the guiltier I feel the faster I write. . . lol Please review!