DISCLAIMER:
I don't own Star Trek or any of the Characters below Do the
Right Thing
"You look better than last time we spoke, Spock."
"Thank you, Mother. You look well also."
"Any news for me...about things you've done over the break..." His mother hesitated for a moment and looked closely at Spock. He was unsure if he should say anything about Africa. If he told her he made the trip it would be a de facto admission of his romantic relationship. It would be a rather painless way to divulge it he supposed. Would it make her worried? Obviously, being involved with a student was a less than optimal situation. Jabari had certainly worried about his sister...
"...or what you're planning for the next semester?" his mother asked.
Talking about research was easier than talking about romantic relationships. He took the opening his mother provided without looking back. "Cadet Uhura and I will be able to begin our research on the Sol System." Spock replied.
"Ah, Cadet Uhura. I did enjoy her paper on the T'Kai Lamana Ita."Spock's mother had always been a fan of the epic poem, so he had pointed out Nyota's paper when it had been published.
"It has been funny how many eyebrows have been raised here by the work of a Cadet," his mother continued. "There are people here who think her ideas have merit. I think it just took a human to say it...no Vulcan could be that daring. Some of the older Vulcans have taken up the banner. Ostensibly to prove the point wrong, but you know how indirect Vulcans can be while claiming all the time to be more direct than humans.
"The Vulcan Science Academy had been working on more sophisticated computer models of proto-Vulcan and proto-Romulan brains for a while. They have sped up their efforts, just to make sure they can respond logically to those who might fancy a biologic reason for the Romulan Vulcan divide. Results of their preliminary analysis should be forthcoming in just a few days...although they won't be made public I should hear about them from your father."
"I'm sure Cadet Uhura would be very interested in hearing about their discoveries." Spock replied. Even if they were preliminary, and therefore somewhat suspect he would be interested in hearing about them too.
His mother visibly brightened, "Yes, I imagine she would. You know, I would love to speak to her about it."
Spock had met Nyota's parents without incident and in a purely professional capacity, this seemed harmless. And it had the potential to make both his mother and Nyota happy.
"Since it is an academic matter I don't see any reason why you can't contact her by subspace signal in the lab...and I'm interested in knowing the preliminary findings as well. Cadet Uhura will be returning to San Francisco in three days...I will talk to her about arranging a time that fits her schedule when the semester begins."
"Ah yes, an academic matter...yes, that would make perfect sense of course, Spock." Her face was serious for a moment, then relaxed a bit. "Your father has read the paper too, of course. Although he does not agree with the implications, he felt that the ideas were novel and the logic internally consistent."
Spock's eyebrows went up. "That is more open minded than I would have expected of him."
"Why is that Spock? Your father has gone against the current in Vulcan society before. He has even broken the rules on occasion -- the man married a human after all." She said this with a smile.
Spock stifled a tinge of annoyance. Yes, his father...the original mad dog.
"I am sure his reasons for marrying you were very logical, mother."
His voice was flat, but his mother understood the bitterness behind the words.
Her brows furrowed together and her lips got tight. "It better well have been logical...marriage cannot survive without shared goals, shared interests, understanding and a genuine enjoyment of one another's company beyond the physical."
Her voice softened, "This doesn't preclude the existence of love...far from it. If your father's inability to articulate his feeling for you and I..."
"And yet when he arranged my bond to T'Pring he thought logic alone was sufficient."
"Your bond to T'Pring was a mistake. We were told that you had Vulcan physiology and emotions, but only human control. He was worried that you would experience a full Pon Farr in your teens and with the intensity of a fully mature Vulcan for that reason...he didn't want you to die. She was a very poor match -- but all he could arrange."
"Due to my deficiencies."
"He has never seen you as deficient, Spock."
Spock's father had been there to lecture him on the merits of logic after he had become violent at school. His father had seen his reaction to the Vulcan Science Academy board -- it was impossible for Sarek not to have seen the anger when Spock declined the invitation. And these were only two examples...there had been others. His father had been there during or right after his greatest losses of control. His father who espoused logic. How could he not see Spock as deficient?
"If he does not see me as deficient why has he not accepted my decision to join Star Fleet?" Spock asked willing himself not to clench his teeth.
His mother sighed. "He has always been worried that you wouldn't be challenged enough. And you really weren't in your first years there. It's probably only thanks to your Vulcan nature that you didn't get into mischief out of sheer boredom."
Spock considered this; he had actually gotten into some mischief of the feminine variety in his cadet years.
Amanda smiled softly. "Even now, if I tell him that your subspace simulation transmitter blows a fuse he gets indignant about faulty equipment holding you back from your full potential. He does wish you'd try to make amends and join the Vulcan Science Academy...it is only logical that he wants the best for his brilliant son."
"I suppose equipment at the Vulcan Science Academy never is faulty." He replied dryly.
His mother laughed. "Well, much less often. Twice your simulator had gone down in one year -- twice!"
He had to concede her point there...it wouldn't have happened twice on Vulcan.
She gave a tight smile and returned to the previous topic, "Love can, and should be logical Spock."
x x x x x x
There were three days after his call with his mother before Nyota came back to San Francisco, and five days before the start of the semester. Nyota's absence wasn't as painful knowing she would be back soon, but his mother's comments started something brewing in his mind.
Was his love for Nyota logical? If he pulled it apart it seemed that really the only thing that was illogical was the timing. In two and a half more years their relationship would not break any rules. Although it would be a poor time to begin a relationship since she planned on entering the fleet. After only a few weeks of courtship he doubted she would acquiesce to a mind meld. But in two and a half years she would be ready, and after a mind meld distance would mean so much less...
So breaking the rules served a logical purpose, but was breaking the rules completely logical?
His mind went back to his conversations with Jabari. What had Jabari said, "if I was a really good person, I would dedicate my life to reforming the beast". Instead of trying to fix Federation laws Jabari chose not to miss out on immediate opportunities.
Was Spock not Jabari on just a smaller scale? Like Jabari, he had logical reasons for his behavior. But it didn't fix the underlying problem.
And so it was that the appeals to logic of his mother, of all people, and the moral musings of a pirate caused Spock to question his choices...and he not come to a satisfactory answer by the time Nyota arrived home.
A/N:
I
kind of feel that Jabari is a little more honest than Spock. I
wasn't sure if that came out. Jabari knows what he is.
Spock...I'm not so sure about.
