Because my annoying ass muse likes to work more when I have tons of studying to do. I am failing this year *ugly cries*
CPOV:
"You are gonna be an uncle!"
Mia exclaims the moment I walk into my parents' house. I stop short and all the air leaves my lungs in panic. Oh fuck. That is what she has been hiding from me?! She is pregnant?! Shit shit shit. What if the father is from France? Fuck, he has to be from there. She just got back less than a month ago! What if I can't get the foreign fucker to marry her before she gives birth! I won't be able to reach him and she will have to raise the baby all by herself. Oh my god. I can't believe my baby sister is going to be a single mother at the age of twenty one. How can she be so stupid?!
"You are pregnant?!" I finally blurt out when I find my speech again.
"Me?" She squeals in confusion. "No of course not, stupid! It is Kat!" The huge sigh of relief that threats to escape me is held back but the realization that the lovely Katherine is now, officially and permanently, family. Well, better get used to the bitch's presence.
The rest of the night was a blur of family reunions and happy congratulations exchanged. Surprisingly, I was in a good mood the whole night. Good enough to even congratulate Kat sincerely. Who cares if I don't like her, my brother is gonna be a dad and I have never seen my family happier for it. To be honest it has been a while since we had something to celebrate. Even Elliot engagement wasn't that joyful. Normally in such family environment I tend to feel out of the place most of the night but last night I was a little out of character. I talked and laughed. I listened as Mia blabbed about her last adventures in Europe and smiled as my mom told me about her latest projects in Helping Hands. I even drank scotch in my dad's office at the end of the night when he pulled Elliot from being glued to his fiancée's side to give him a 'you are going to be a father and you have to start acting like one' lecture that was typically expected from Lawyer Carrick Grey. I sat and pressed my lips suppressing laughter every time Elliot squirmed in his seat nodding his head repeatedly in submission. It was a priceless moment, really.
The rest of my weekend was Analess and eventless. Except for the game with the guys on Saturday afternoon. And the very unexpected first meeting with none but Raymond Steele. I laughed a little inside imagining Ana's reaction to me and Ray meeting in her absence. But then again I was a little anxious myself. I am not always good at first impressions and she said that he already hated my guts so the odds weren't really in my favor. Except it was. When Wade introduced us before the game started instead of the suspicious glare I expected from the old military man, what I received was a warm smile and curious eyes. I shrugged my shock off pretty quick and smiled back. Then when we ended up seated next to each other I thought it was gonna be awkward but it wasn't. Being a huge Mariners fan, Ray was in a good mood and a high spirit since they were winning. In the breaks, we talked about the game and then ended up talking about fishing somehow. I even think I saw a spark of admiration when I told him that I have a boat that I can sail myself. I invited him for a fishing trip but we never really agreed on a date. By the end of the game I was surprised to realize in my way back that Ana has been worrying over nothing. Ray and I got along far better than I would have expected. All I wanted was to make a good impression because I didn't want Ana's dad hating me. Don't ask me why because I have no idea. I was itching to see what she has to say about that but after I finished my very long morning meeting I found no one but my gonna-be-dad brother sitting by her desk and leaning a little too close for my comfort. Come on, Grey. It is probably nothing. You think less than two feet space is too close for your taste! He shouldn't be talking to her! What the fuck is he doing here anyway?! For the sake of his pretty face, he better not be making her uncomfortable! I search Ana's face and body language for any hint of fear or panic and relax a little when I find none. I didn't realize that I am walking straight toward them until I am hovering over my brother's back.
"Elliot" I am a little surprised by how indifferent my tone is. "What are you doing here?" My brother, the ever charmer, gives Ana a knowing grin before he slowly and coolly turns to me. Yeah, did I mention how much it sucks that I can't intimidate my own siblings?
"Thanks for the warm welcome, bro" He has the asshole-ness to smirk and wink at me. "I am here for you, of course" What can he possibly want me for? I narrow my eyes for a brief second.
"I wouldn't want to keep you waiting any longer. Shall we?" I play along ushering him to my office. Before I go after him I look back at Ana realizing with a frown that I have rudely ignored her. She seems to fucking read my mind because she gives me a reassuring smile and a dismissive hand wave. I smile back at her, awed and kind of…grateful. Does she really now know me good enough to forgive and oversee my rude stunts and my lack of most of the normal social niceties? I wonder if I can be even more comfortable with her. I follow Elliot into my office and close the door. Of course he doesn't hesitate to make himself comfortable but thankfully refrains from popping his filthy boots on my desk.
"So" He grins at me as I take my seat across from him. "You are gonna be an uncle" He states like it is news and I haven't been there last night when he was getting his ass whipped by dad.
"And you are gonna be a dad" I point out and find my lips curling at the edges. "The universe is full of wonders, I guess"
"Tell me about it" He shakes his head but his grin doesn't falter. "I never thought it would have that effect on me. I think even Kat deep down thought that I was gonna freak out"
"So you aren't? Not even a little bit?" I question tilting my head at him with narrowed eyes. He shakes his head again. "Are you sure? Look, I know you must have had enough from dad last night but I want to make sure that you understand what this is really about. I know you love kids. You always got along with our distant cousins way better than I did and they love you but this won't be a kid you see a few hours every blue moon. This is gonna be your kid. Your responsibility. You know what that means?"
"You mean nappies changes, being up all night and the screaming and shit?" He actually smirks as he says that far too lightly. "Or are you referring to the fact that pregnancy hormones are gonna make Kat even harder to deal with?"
"That and this" I nod. "But there is something far more important than that" I lean closer placing my elbows over my desk. "Or did you forget that we weren't always Greys?"
"Of course not" He frowns not understanding where I am going with this. I hesitate. We never really talked about where we were before being adopted. Actually we never really talk about real stuff but well….it is about time.
"We have been in foster homes, Elliot. And God knows what before that. Needless to say, both of us have seen what a shitty father can be like. Or a shitty parent" I avert my eyes from him and pray that my voice doesn't show anything. "You think you can forgive yourself if you bring a child into this world only to be subjected to a similar fate because you got bored and decided after a year or two that family life isn't your thing?" When I finally allow myself to glance at him, he is not smiling anymore.
"That will never happen" He says firmly with a kind of determination that I can't remember the last time I saw in my brother's normally humorous face.
"How can you be sure?" He glares at me openly this time but I go on. "Not just less than two weeks ago, you were drunk off your ass when you said that monogamy isn't for you"
"Like you just said, I was drunk off my ass" He grinds his teeth. "I didn't know what I was saying"
"Didn't you now? Because some people tend to say the truth only when they are drunk" Okay now he is really glaring at me but who cares, I am not shutting up until I get to the bottom of this. He cuts the staring contest short and looks down rubbing his forehead.
"Can I tell you something?" At my nods he starts. "Two weeks ago I was there. I thought that marriage life really isn't for me. That I have made a big mistake. I was seriously considering calling the wedding off and breaking up with Kat but then…" he stops and shakes his head. "When she told me she is pregnant, it changed everything. My whole perception, everything is different now"
"So what?" I am totally lost now. And utterly unconvinced. "You are changing your mind just because she is pregnant?" That doesn't make any sense.
"It is not like that" He pinches the bridge between his eyes and seems to be thinking how to explain it. "It is just like…suddenly all the women, all the games don't matter anymore and all I can think about is the life I am gonna have to Kat. It just feels right, man. I mean….It feels like if I am ever gonna have kids, build a family, it can only be with her. I can't see any other woman in her place and I just remembered how much I want it. A family of my own. Yes, I got cold feet. So what?" He shrugs then suddenly his voice turns dead serious. "She is the real thing, Christian. The rest are just a distraction. I am not going to let myself be distracted anymore"
"You really mean that" I say after a moment of silence.
"I do" He answers even though it wasn't a question. I feel like I am talking to someone else but hell he is telling the truth, that much I could tell. It seems like Ms. Katherine Kavanagh isn't as vain and easy as she looks. Maybe there is more to her than my reporter-hater eyes can see.
"You are not scared?" At that he grins.
"Shirtless" He chuckles and I join him feeling more at ease now. A moment of comfortable silence passes before Elliot clears his throat. "Look, there is actually a reason I came here today" Really? So it wasn't so you can flirt with Anastasia and piss me off? I bite my tongue and raise my eyebrows arguing him to go on. "The wedding is in less than two weeks and Kat just reminded me that I haven't chosen my best man yet"
"Oh" I blink wondering why he is taking my advice in which one of his douche friends will make a decent best man. "You are thinking Greg or Jensen?" Please don't be Jensen….wait, on a second thought, please don't be Greg Asshat either.
"Actually I was thinking…." He clears his throat and looks away. "You" Say what?
"Me?" My eyes widen and I almost fucking squeak. Dammit, don't lose your cool, Grey. But shit, I am shocked. Last thing I expected. Why the hell would he want me to be his best man?! We have never been that close. I always thought he was closer to these douchebags more than me.
"If you are worried about Kat driving you crazy, then don't" He assures as if that is why I am kinda freaking about. "We agreed that your only interactions about the wedding will be with the planner, Emma, Ana's friend. You know her, right?" I nod, still unable to speak. "You are not required to do much, anyway. Just be there, look good in a tux but not better than me, stand beside me at the altar and maybe hand me the rings in time"
"Why?" I finally ask.
"Why what?" He frowns.
"Why me?" He seems to get what I mean so his lips part and he looks away again. Another silent pass.
"I know that we didn't get along when we were kids and even now we couldn't have more different personalities and interests but you are still my idiot little brother. I am not like other people, Christian. I didn't only meet the big man behind the big desk. I saw who you were and I saw what you became" He pauses then turns to looks at me. He looks shocked for a second. Maybe his own words shocked him, maybe he saw something on my face that shocks him, I don't know. He holds my gaze. "And I couldn't be prouder"
"Elliot…" My voice comes a little shaky. In all my years, I have never imagined my competitive self-possessed older brother to be proud of me. I also didn't imagine that I would care that much.
"No no, I want you to know" He holds his finger up stopping me. "How much you mean to me. I love you, brother" Okay, now we are just getting weird. "You are my sun and stars. You are the reason I wake up in the morni…." He can't hold a straight face anymore and the idiot breaks out laughing his ass off.
"You are such a dickhead, you know that?" I say but I am actually chuckling.
"Yes, but I am your dickhead. I bet I am even your favorite dickhead" He pouts and bats his eyelashes. Fucking ridiculous.
"Stop being weird. Stop it, right now" If he keeps on giving me these googly eyes I am gonna kick him out of the office.
"Alright, alright! No homo" He says trying to control the remains of his laughing fit. "So, what do you say? You gonna be my best man?" I stand up and walk around the desk until I am standing in front of him while he looks up at me waiting my answer.
"Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes. Oh my god" I squeak doing my best imitation of Katherine when Elliot proposed to her in front of us all. He grins and stands up.
"Who is being a dickhead now?" He smacks the back of my head lightly. "Thanks, bro" He says suddenly serious. He raises his hand as if to grab my shoulder but stops mid air and seems to remember that he can't touch me. He fists his hand and looks down awkwardly. I hate myself in that moment. One of the few moments I wish I was normal. Here is my big brother in the happiest times of his life pouring his heart out to me and I can't even let him pet my shoulder. Because I am a freak.
Well, I am sick of being a freak.
What the hell, David touched my shoulder and I didn't freak out. Compared to Elliot, David is a stranger. Before I can rethink it or back out, I close the short distance between us and pull him in a hug. A quick one that he was too shocked to participate in. I slap his shoulder like I have seen my father do to him so many times.
"You are welcome" I mutter when I step away from him. When I look up at him, his eyes are wide and he is gaping at me. I clear my throat and look away but that doesn't seem to break his trance. I could have sworn that his eyes are watering up. He swallows.
"Are you…" He clears his throat and speaks again. "Are you okay?" I just nod and start to walk to the window. After a minute, he follows me and stands beside me. "I don't understand" Then just don't talk about it. "Is it her?"
"I don't know" I say curtly. He must have sensed the tension radiating out of me because he changes the subject.
"Well, I am sure you have a lot to do. I better go" He says but continues to study Seattle's busy streets with me.
"It is almost lunch time. Stay and I will order something for us both" I offer.
"Can't" He shakes his head. "Got an appointment with my wedding planner"
"Emma?" I turn to glare at him sharply. What is with all the 'I am a changed man' talk.
"Relax, alright! She doesn't even know that she is meeting me. She thinks she is meeting Kat but I told Kat she can rest and let me take some work off her shoulders and since you know…Emma is a lesbian" He smirks knowing fully that she is not. I glare at him and open my mouth but he cuts me off. "I am just gonna apologize to her is all. Seriously, I have taken my couple of days of cold feet out on her. And made her uncomfortable several times, putting her in bad situations. I need to apologize to her and promise her that I will never make her uncomfortable again"
"Fine. If that is it" I may be stupid and clouded by emotions but I actually believe the bastard is regretful. Elliot maybe a man whore but doesn't play games. Not like this. He never needed to. "Because Ana will truly crash your balls if you try anything and I am not gonna stop her" Not that I can.
"Ah, she is a feisty one" He chuckles and I feel like punching him. "She hates me, doesn't she?" My first instinct is to tell him that she can't stand him just so he never talks to her again but I settle for the truth. Damn you, honesty!
"She doesn't really hate you" I say quietly observing a passing couple holding hands. Is that a flash of longing I felt? Oh hell. "She hates players. If you stop being a player, she won't hate you" I add simply.
"And how am I supposed to convince her that I am not a player anymore?" Yeah, good luck with that. PS: Why do you care?
"Not hitting on her friend is a good start" I shrug.
"Ah, but I am not a patient person. I always like to win fast" With that, he turns and walks to the door.
"What the hell are you going to do?"
"Score some points, bro" He says over his shoulders.
Well, hell.
I follow the idiot out of my office and instead of heading for elevator like I hoped he would, he takes a left and walks over to Ana's desk. Ana is busy arranging some papers into order that doesn't see Elliot approaching followed by me.
"Dinner tomorrow night, what you say?" Elliot announces before he even reaches her desk. What the fuck is he up to?
"No" She replies in a heartbeat without even bothering to look up from her task. And I find myself smiling. It is not every day that I meet a woman who can resist my brother's charm let alone knock him off his feet at every corner. Ms. Steele, the ice queen. Except when she is crying because of me. Fuck me.
"The day after tomorrow then" He offers not even missing a step by her rejection. Like he expected it. Weird. What is weirder is why does he want to go out with Ana when he said he is not playing anymore? And what is even much weirder is why the hell am I standing here unmoving and silent like an asshole instead of punching him in the face like I want to and probably should? Because you have no right! Doesn't she have a boyfriend? If there is even the slightest chance that she is open to cheating, it fucking better be with me. You know you don't really mean that. No but it is always fun and equaling agonizing to imagine. Before Ana can open her mouth obviously ready with another rejection, he cuts her off. "But it gotta be before Thursday because that is when Kat is flying to that Caribbean island where we will be getting married. I always forget its name" He frowns as if trying to remember. So he wants to have dinner with Ana AND his fiancée. Yeah, I am now officially lost. It seems to get Ana's attention enough because she finally drops the papers and turns to find the two of us standing by her desk like assholes, which actually startles her more if possible. I give her a shrug when she shoots me a questioning look.
"Hold on" She frowns addressing Elliot. "You want to go out for dinner with me and Kat?"
"Of course" He mutters dismissively like it was obvious from his first word, except it wasn't. "She said she will give me one free night before she takes off and I get to choose when and where to go since I won't see her again until the rehearsal dinner just before the wedding" He explains like I give a fuck. I just want to know what the fuck he hopes to achieve by that. Does he plan on wooing Ana into changing her mind about him? Or he just hopes she does after spending one evening with him? How is that a fast win? "You can come too, broody boy" He adds digging his elbow in my side possibly because he can sense the scowl I have been sporting since he came within ten feet from Anastasia.
"So it will be you, Kat, Christian and me?" Ana wonders before I can reply.
"You know when you put it like that it sounds like a double date" He grins knowingly at her. Double date? What the fuck… It appears his remark is enough for Ana to cast him one of her deadliest dirtiest glares.
"You are wasting my time, Elliot" Shit, what is that voice she just used? Firm and commanding. A voice of Domme. A very sweet stern sexy Domme. Fuck, If I keep thinking like that I will have a very painful hard-on. The voice does seem to affect Elliot as well, although –thank god- not in the same way. In a bowing-down kind of way. Crap, give her more than twenty minutes and she can turn any male into her puppet. I am so fucking turned on by her dominance; I can't even understand myself right now.
"How about you bring your gang?" He offers. "All of them. Christian says they are delightful and he knows all my friends. It is only fair that I meet his" Okay, now he wants to meet the 'gang'? I seriously regret telling him that I got along with them.
"You sure that has nothing to do with your Emma thing?" Ana investigates with narrowed eyes and grinded teeth. She frowns and looks around before she turns back to us. I vaguely remember that Emma is kinda of dating Parker. Guess it is a good thing he already went out for lunch. This conversation would surely raise some unnecessary questions. It sucks that Ana doesn't have her own private office. Well, that is gonna change in about two weeks when she gets Rose's job and office. Though, I liked the advantage of seeing her every time I get in or out. Maybe we can get her a desk in my office! Yeah, like she is gonna agree to that!
"Oh come on, guys" Elliot groans cutting out my train of thoughts. "There is no more Emma thing!" Ana regards him for a few seconds as if to sense how truthful he is being.
"Your wedding is in less than two weeks. Surely you have something better to do especially on the free night your fiancée has given you" She raises her eyebrows and places her hands on her hips. My sassy Ana. I try to bite back a grin and fail.
"Oh trust me, we will have much better things to do the rest of night" My brother speaks and just like that the grins drop from my face. Ana and I groan in disgust. Then she sighs as if considering the matter before she turns her eyes on me.
"What do you think?" Do I want Ana, her gang of merry people, my brother, his fiancée and I ever under the same roof? One look at Ana's face and I know she has the same thought as me. This could turn into a disaster.
"Why not?" I shrug. What? Did you think I would turn down the chance to spend a night out with Anastasia? Not even if half Seattle is joining us! Ana bites her lower lip debating the case and the sight is headlessly sexy that I have to blink twice to remember what we are even talking about.
"My treat" Elliot offers as if buying the odds.
"It can be six people beside you and your fiancée" She points her index finger in warning.
"Honey, check my bank balance" He chuckles cocky as ever. The look Ana has on her face tells me she doesn't find his cockiness as attractive as he may think. "Tell your friends to bring dates if they want" He adds with a shrug.
"Alright" She nods and Elliot grins. "But on one condition"
"Name it"
"I get to choose the place. I am not gonna let you trap my laidback friends in a super fancy restaurant all night"
"Agreed. Where do you want to go?"
"A great place named" She smiles widely and shoots me a look I don't understand before she turns back to Elliot. "50s"
And It is on.
I bet you bitches didn't see that one coming, huh?
A/N: As you see in this chapter, Christian's relationships with Ana and David aren't the only changes in his life. The old CG would have shrugged off Elliot's possible doomed marriage, not because he doesn't care but because he doesn't see how he can help with something like that. He will see that it is out of control therefore none of his business. But here Christian understands that talking can be a sort of help, that being there for the people you care about might change their entire lives. He is being more open with his family and it is helping him understand them and understand himself better. He is starting to see that there is more to life than business, formal relationships and BDSM. He is becoming more human. More of who he is. He is changing but not because Ana is trying to change him and not even for her. No, he is changing because being with her opened his eyes and made him see things differently. That is what being in love is. It is an awakening and that is what Christian is going through. She is not changing him; his love for her is changing him.
The same can be said about Ana. She is not only opening up to CG like she never did with anyone. Last chapter she was talking openly about her relationship with CG with her girls. And earlier she had another intervention with Kevin. Now, if you are paying attention you will see that at the very beginning when Ana was fighting with Jose and came back to find Emma in her apartment cornering her with questions she didn't see a word. She refused to talk about anything and shrugged it off. That is how she has been living for the past few years. She has friends and she cares about them, they care about her but she never opened up to any of them. Now she is becoming more open about her feelings, more secure. She is becoming warmer and also more human. Another form of awakening.
