Guess who's back, back, back? Back again, again, again? KarleeRay is back, back, back. Tell all your friends, friends, friends ;)
YAY! Look who's back, loves? So here's what happened. Honestly, I didn't expect so many people to still be with me on this story. However, I got so many sad, sad reviews after I posted that this story was over. I felt so bad. My little babies, my readers, I just left yall hanging, abandoned you. SO, basically your reviews changed my mind. I read back through my entire story and now I'm back. I know what I want to happen, but I'm sure a lot of people will not agree with it or like it and that's fine. It is what it is.
Anywho here is the real Chapter 42 instead of just my lame Author's Note chapter.
So I'm still getting my bearings back in this chapter, and I'm not sure if the writing is up to par but we'll see.
Reviews are love.
KarleeRay
"I just thought we were passed the guns, and the panic, and the chaos. I thought that part of our lives was over, you know?"
I nod sympathetically as Nudge speaks. We've all been pretty shell-shocked these past few days, not sure what to do, how to go about things. School is, for obvious reasons, not in session, and we aren't too sure when it will start back up again. I can't really picture what it's going to be like to walk those halls again, don't really want to either. They released the names of the deceased on the news last night. The list is pretty hefty, and the injured list could go on for days. Well, not really, but you catch my drift. Thankfully, no one too close to us was killed. I couldn't get over the fact that I had ignored my gut. I knew something was wrong, could feel it in my bird kid bones that day when I helped Nathan out with those bullies. And yet, I did nothing. And now, kids were dead. Parents could technically no longer be called parents. And an entire city was in mourning.
"And that girl, the one I dragged out? I knew her. She was in my math class. She was so pretty." Nudge's eyes filled with tears. "I should have run faster. If I had gotten her out faster, maybe she would still be alive. Maybe then I wouldn't feel like such a murderer when I wasn't even the one with the gun."
My eyes cut sharply to her tear stained face. "Don't you ever say that again," I snap, reaching out and grabbing her arm a little too forcefully. "You are not a murderer. You did not kill that girl, do you hear me?"
Now, I know what you're all thinking, that I wasn't being a very nice leader, that I was being a bully, beating someone who was already on the ground. But I couldn't help it. I thought about all the guilt I was feeling over this whole thing, and I literally couldn't stand the thought of Nudge suffering through the same.
Fang places a hand on my thigh, squeezing slightly, my warning. "No, I'm serious," I say forcefully, pushing his hand away. I look Nudge right in the eyes, willing her to understand. "This was not your fault."
She holds my gaze for a few moments before she swallows and gives a tiny nod.
My eyes shift back to the TV where the news is broadcasting, yet again, every little tiny detail of what had happened just a few short days ago.
"Tuesday morning started out just like any other morning for the students at Oxford High. They attended classes on their normal schedule until approximately 1:45 PM, when the unthinkable became reality. At 1:40 PM, Nathan Mickelson left his sixth period classroom for a bathroom break. School security cameras confirm that he entered the bathroom, but emerged only seconds later. He then proceeded to do the one thing no one could have predicted. He opened fire on his unsuspecting classmates."
As my mom enters the living room, I snatch the remote up off of the couch. I didn't want to hear this, not again. I flip the channel over to Project Runway just for Nudge, who gives me a broad smile.
"There's a boy at the door for you, sweetie," Mom says, her words directed towards me.
Fang looks up in surprise but says nothing.
"Who is it?" I ask, sliding out from under the weight of the Gasman who had been sleeping heavily on top of me.
"He said he knows you from school." She shrugs, heading into the kitchen. "Who's hungry?" She calls. "I was thinking Enchiladas."
I swing open the door, not sure what to expect, but I definitely wasn't expecting to see Kace, leaning up against the door frame, arrogant smirk still in place despite everything that had happened.
"Hey," I say, keeping the surprise from my voice as I step outside and close the door behind me. "What are you doing here?"
His gray eyes assess me. "I came to…. Check on you," He says finally.
My eyebrows raise. "When I need you to check up on me, I'll ask you to," I answer snidely. What can I say? Old habits die hard.
Kace isn't offended by my rude remark. It actually seems to relax him. His smirk deepens. "Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart. I actually came to give you this." He holds out a black Blackberry cell phone. At my uncomprehending stare, he explains. "It's yours. It fell out of your pocket when we were in the locker room." For the first time, his resolve crumbles just slightly, his smirk looking a little too forced, and I know he's reliving that day.
I take the phone from his hand, examine it. Yep, its mine alright, down to the little tiny chip in the side where Gazzy had dropped it after he and Iggy were playing keep away with it. I hadn't even realized it was missing, what with everything going on.
There's a moment of silence after I slip the phone into my back pocket. I stare into his eyes, trying to peer past the walls he kept so firmly built into place. "You were amazing out there," I say, reluctant to give him a compliment but feeling like it was necessary. "You moved so fast. I thought you were shot. I thought he hit you."
Kace looks at me in surprise. I can see a sarcastic remark bubbling its way to the surface, but he visibly swallows it down. He's suddenly serious. "I was amazing?" He asks, incredulous. "Max, you were…. You are the epitamy of courage. You were so calm, so determined. You kept me calm. Hell, you kept Nathan calm. He would have killed us both right where we stood if you hadn't intervened." He stops as if just realizing something. His brow crinkles. "You're the reason I'm alive," He says finally, managing to sound none too happy about that fact but also incredibly grateful at the same time.
I open my mouth to say something, but he cuts me off. When he speaks, his voice is thoughtful, faraway. "I had always heard about you, about how great you were, but I never realized any of it was true until we were in danger and you stepped up and became the leader they all said you were. They're right about you," He says, surprising both of us. "You're in a league of your own."
I feel a little bit tongue tied due to Kace, of all people, giving me compliments. "Well… thanks," I choke out, lamely.
Kace's smirk lifts back up onto his face. "That doesn't mean I like you. I still think you're a stubborn bitch."
I grin. There's the Kace I know. "And don't think your compliments earn you brownie points."
He smiles before turning and trudging away, shoulders held high, chin in the air, exuding cockiness from miles away.
I shake my head in exasperation before turning and going back inside.
"Fang, let me in! I need to brush my teeth," I growl from outside the bathroom door. Steam was slinking out from under the door, and I knew he was taking an extremely hot and entirely too long shower.
"I'm in the shower!" He calls, exasperated.
"Who cares? I've seen your ass," I complain, careful to keep my voice low enough so that no one else would hear. My impatience was high after a very long day. All I wanted was to get to bed. "Just let me in."
Seconds later, the door swings open. A towel hangs loosely around Fang's hips, and I avert my eyes so that I don't start to salivate. "You just had to come in right this second?" He asks, sounding annoyed.
"I need to brush my teeth," I say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
He huffs, starting to argue and then deciding against it, though I can hear him muttering under his breath as he drops his towel and steps back inside the shower. I pick out the word 'impossible', and my eyes narrow.
I decide not to push it though. Instead, I quickly brush my teeth and head back into my room.
My eyes are just beginning to close when my phone vibrates. I stifle a groan. Who is calling me at this hour?
The caller ID reads unknown, but I answer it anyway, curiosity getting the better of me.
"Max?" A familiar voice trickles into my ear.
I sit up in bed. "Carter?" I ask in disbelief.
"You remember." I don't need to see her face to know she's smiling. I can hear it in her tone.
"Of course I remember your voice," I huff. "How are you calling me? Why are you calling me?"
There's a pause on her end of the line. "Hold on," She whispers. More silence, and then, "Okay. They're gone."
"What? Carter what is going on? Please don't tell me you-" I start, but she cuts me off.
"Relax. I'm still in the rehab center. I'm still following the rules… well except for this one. They don't know I'm on their phone. Everyone's in bed already."
"Is this going to get you in trouble?" I ask, not wanting to mess up any progress she's made towards getting out of that place.
Carter hesitates, and then speaks, "They're not going to find out... And if they do, well I don't really care. It's worth it. I had to talk to you, Max. I heard about what happened… at the school."
My jaw tightens, but I keep my cool, swatting unwanted memories out of my mind like flies. "Yeah?" I guess even the patients in rehab had the right to know that their city was mourning the loss of innocent students.
"Yes," She answers, and just hearing the sound of her voice makes me realize how much I miss her. "I'm just so glad that you're okay. I was freaking out, freaking out Max! You have no idea. All they told us was that there was a shooting, and that they didn't have a list of the deceased yet. I just…. I just needed to hear your voice, to prove to myself that you were really okay." I can hear her emotions getting the better of her, and I want nothing more than to hug my best friend. I, myself, was having a hard enough time with all of this, and I was lucky enough to be surrounded by my family. Carter was all alone, locked away in some stone cold facility. I shutter on her behalf.
"Hey, you know bird kids. You just can't off us no matter how hard you try," I joke, trying to shed some light on the situation.
Carter sighs, seeming satisfied. "Yeah, I guess I should have known."
I don't bother to mention how close, in all reality, we had come to dying. She didn't need to know that.
"How are you?" I ask finally, looking up as Fang enters my room. His hair is wet and shaggy from his shower, and a few remaining drops of water run down his bare chest. I have the sudden urge to do him a favor and get those pesky little drops right off of him, like say with a towel or hey, maybe even a tongue. My tongue, for example. Yes, I think that would work quite nicely.
I swallow and tune back in to my conversation with Carter, scooting over on the bed and making room for lies down beside me, crossing his ankles and putting his hands behind his head.
"I'm…. okay. As good as I can be in a place like this," Carter answers, sounding depressed. "I want to come home though. I miss my bed. I miss my friends, my parents, though I'm not sure they miss me, at this point."
"Of course they miss you, Carter," I tell her, silently handing the remote control to Fang so he wouldn't be so bored just lying there. "They're just still disappointed."
"Yeah I guess," She says glumly, not sounding convinced.
"How is everyone else up there? Are they being nice to you?" I ask, knowing I sound like a momma bear but not caring.
"My roommate is a six year heroine addict. I don't belong here, Max," She complains, not necessarily answering my question. She starts to continue, but then goes silent. "I gotta go," She whispers. "Someone's coming. Love you, miss you," She says quickly, and the line goes dead before I can even answer her.
"Who was that?" Fang asks as I hang up the phone.
"Carter." I sigh. "She snuck in a phone call, against the rules of course."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Fang comments. "Aren't you glad to hear from her?"
"No, I am," I say sincerely, lying back down and curling into Fang's side. He takes one of his arms out from behind his head so that he can cradle me closer. "I just don't want her breaking the rules, and especially not for me."
"Mmmm," Fang nods in understanding, burying his face in my hair.
This was only the second time we had been alone since the shooting, and the first time, we hadn't even really talked about it.
"They're holding kind of like a mass memorial service at the school tomorrow, in honor of the kids that died," I murmur. "I think we should probably go out of respect, but I really don't want to. Is that pathetic of me?" I ask, looking up into Fang's eyes.
"No," He whispers. "I don't think anyone really wants to go back there right now, regardless of the cause."
I sigh, heavily. "This whole thing is just unreal. I keep expecting to wake up…" I sit up and look down at the boy I somehow am lucky enough to call mine. He is healthy, he is alive. I close my eyes, remembering the panic I felt that day, panic that I was about to lose someone close to me, panic that I had no way to take control of the situation because even Maximum Ride is not bullet proof. "If something had… if… God, if you had…" I start, blinking around my swimming vision.
Fang jerks me down on top of him, holding my face in his strong, calloused hands. "I know," He murmurs. "I know." He presses his lips gently to mine, showering me with love and affection that I knew for a fact I didn't deserve. He pulls back, reaching up to push some stray hair behind my ear. His eyes roam over my face, as if memorizing me, before he lies back, shifts his eyes to the ceiling.
Fang had been pretty closed off these past few days, resorting to old standbys in a time with too many emotions floating around. So I am surprised when he speaks. "I couldn't find you," He whispers, so softly that even my raptor hearing has to strain to make out his words. He keeps his eyes trained on the ceiling, his jaw tight. "I couldn't find you… I was already preparing myself for the worst." Black, emotionless eyes flick over to mine. "I was already thinking about a life without you, without holding you." His grip on me tightens. "Without kissing you." He softly kisses my shoulder. "Without being with you." His eyes bore into mine, willing me to understand his words. "You are my everything. You're all I need. You're all I've ever needed."
I consider his words, try to come up with some of my own that could express the way I feel. For the first time, Fang is better with his words than me. I come up with nothing. So I say the only thing I know to be true for an absolute fact. "I love you, Fang." I bring my lips down on his, putting every emotion I felt into my kiss.
I've never been sappy enough to believe in soulmates. But in that moment, I knew it had to be true. Because there was no one else in the entire world who could ever compete with Fang. We were bound. We were destined. Meant to be.
