"Confused? Excellent! My devious plan begins to transpire!" –from Weapon Master
Where
the Hell Are We Now!
Omake
Four –Sherlock Holmes / Clue Alternate Universe: A Side
By Kaori
The cast of Where the Hell Are We Now is gathered in the living room of an old mansion. Shikamaru's body is laid out on the floor and he appears to be dead. Chouji, dressed in a chef's outfit, is sobbing uncontrollably on Ino who is dressed as a French Maid. Neji, dressed as the butler, stands stoically by the window; every once in a while he'd glance at Kotorra, who had Faust on her shoulder and was dressed in a falconer's outfit.
Kiba, Bradley, Hinata, and Shino were dressed as musicians, while TenTen, Sasuke, Lee, and Sakura were in formal party clothes. Gina was dressed as Sherlock Holmes and Naruto as Dr. Watson.
"Since it's obvious that Neji killed Shimamaru I'll dispense with the lengthy villain's exposition and just arrest him right now." Said Gina.
"What do you mean it's obvious that I killed Shikamaru?" Neji demanded hotly. "I didn't kill him!" The older girl rolled her eyes.
"Of course you did, the butler always does it."
"That's absurd! I don't even have a reason to kill him! Uchiha maybe, but not Shikamaru!"
"Oh! So you were plotting to kill Mr. Uchiha but ended up offing Mr. Nara instead! Just as I thought!"
"Er…Miss Gina…" Naruto interrupted. "wasn't Neji in the bedroom with TenTen when the murder took place?"
"Yes."
"And wasn't Shikamaru killed in the ballroom?"
"Yes."
"And isn't the bedroom on the other side of the house?"
"Yes….Oh, I see your point. I retract my earlier accusation!"
"Um…if you don't mind my asking, why were Neji and TenTen in the bedroom?" Hinata ventured.
Both young people turned an interesting shade of vermillion.
"Aaah, young love!" sighed Sakura, causing the couple to blush even more.
"Forget them! What about poor Shikmaru!" wailed Chouji.
"Yes, what about Shikamaru…KOTORRA!" pointed Gina. Faust flew over and bit her finger. "YEEOUCH!"
"I didn't kill him you idiot, I was outside the whole time." Deadpanned Kotorra. Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"You have no idea who killed Shikamaru, do you?"
"Not as such, but if I keep on accusing people eventually I'll get it right!" Gina smiled vapidly. Simultaneous Takahashi Falldown (1).
A deep yawn drew everyone's attention to the floor, where Shikamaru was sitting up rubbing his eyes.
"Holy shit he's alive!" blurted Kiba.
"What's everyone staring at?" blinked Shikamaru.
"As I thought!" exclaimed Gina.
"Liar." Deadpanned Naruto.
"Well, since there's been no murder we can continue on with the party!" she hurriedly opened the door to the hallway. "AAAAAGHH!" She's suddenly stabbed by a mysterious figure and drops down dead.
Nobody says anything for a while and then…
"Right, let's continue on with the party." Said Shikamaru. "Music!" Kiba, Bradley, Hinata, and Shino start playing "The Wiener Schnitzel Waltz" as Neji and Ino hurriedly carry Gina's body away. Shrugging, the room's other occupants started dancing.
---Flipside no Jutsu!---
Omake Four –Sherlock Holmes / Clue Alternate Universe: B Side
Same scene as before with several alterations.
Sasuke is dead on the floor, Sakura is crying on Lee's shoulder while Lee awkwardly pats her on the back. This time, Kiba is the butler and Naruto has taken his place as a musician; Neji is now dressed as Dr. Watson, Kotorra is Sherlock Holmes, and instead of the falconer's outfit Gina is dressed as a groundskeeper.
Kotorra absently poked Sasuke's body with her bubble pipe.
"Would you please stop doing that!" wailed Sakura. She was ignored.
"Hmm…he seems to have suffered a blow to the head." She went from poking his neck to poking his stomach. "But that obviously happened due to him collapsing from poisoning."
"Poision!" gasped Chouji. "Who would ruin food that way?"
"It wasn't in the food. Your meal was buffet style. Poisoning it would have killed everyone who ate it and made it obvious who the perpetrator was. Since you're all still alive, it's apparent that he was poisoned by other means…" her eyes drifted to where Naruto was standing.
"Hey! What's with that look?"
"Well, it's common knowledge that you constantly threatened Sasuke's life in public…"
"What! Are you saying I killed him?"
"No, just that you're a suspect." Kotorra replied, calmly. "However, if you want to know who really did this to Sasuke I'm getting to that…" her eyes drifted to Kiba.
"What? Don't tell me I'm a suspect, too?" glared the scruffy young man.
"Well, it's no secret that you dislike your employer almost as much as Naruto does, and that you had the best opportunity to kill him. Not to mention that you are the butler and "everyone" knows the butler is always the guilty party."
"Well everybody is wrong."
"Obviously otherwise I would've arrested you by now."
"Is that the same for the rest of us?" asked Lee. Kotorra nodded. "So, wait, does that mean the murderer is still out there?"
"No, because there is no murderer, Sasuke's suffering from an acute case of lead poisoning. The bottle of wine he was so selfishly drinking from is very old. So old in fact that the bottle is made out of pewter. He's only been rendered catatonic and should be waking up right about…" Sasuke gave a groan. "now. Neji, attend to the affluent idiot will you? And will somebody get me some bubble solution?"
Not to be confused with a facefault this is when anime characters fall down rigidly after someone says or does something completely ridiculous. Named after Rumiko Takahashi as she is the most prominent user of this visual gag.
