A/N: As you probably noticed the second you clicked on this thing, this is a huge chapter. The reason for that is because I didn't want to split Renesa's whole celebration into two separate chapters. I wanted it all to be a single composed moment, so this chapter covers the whole entire thing. Or most of it, at least...
Whatever.
The point is, it's a lot of reading, so I hope you guys enjoy this big butt chapter. And thank you to all of you who have read, reviewed, favorited, or followed me and/or this story. It does not go unnoticed and it is very much appreciated. Glad you guys are liking the story so far! :)
Ding-dong!
Instantly, Renesa regretted that move. Ringing the doorbell was a momentous event she had had to work herself up to, actually undergoing a mental pep talk in the chauffeured car before she climbed out, slinging one personal bag over her shoulder and wheeling two additional suitcases behind her. The plan, as outlined by Vince in a phone call the day prior, was for Renesa to spend the night in the McMahon estate following her big celebration bash, but she was already anticipating a change in that particular plan. More than likely, she would find a way to escape to Paul's and Stephanie's home instead.
Their house was far more fun and, besides, she could have a junk food fueled sleepover with her three nieces to cap off her night. That would be the true prize of the weekend and, thus, Renesa tried to keep her eye on it, to ignore the nagging pull in the pit of her stomach that this party, so to speak, would not go anywhere near as planned. Nothing ever ran smoothly where Linda was involved. Clenching her teeth and biting down on her tongue, although not hard enough to draw blood, Renesa rocked on her heels and waited on the porch for the front door to swing open in response to her chime. Except, nothing happened.
Rubbing her clammy palms onto the butt of her jeans, Renesa cleared her throat and tried knocking this time, a four-knock jingle that apparently fell only upon the deafest of ears. Renesa licked her lips and took two steps back, smoothing down her blouse as she muttered, with an upward hitch, "Okay."
It was only a few minutes after 11 AM and, already, Renesa was perturbed. Her heart picked up speed in her chest, hammering out a beat that could be seen, to the naked eye, straight through the fabric of her blouse. Nausea choked her throat and persisted long enough to force three solid coughs out of Renesa. She stumbled back another step or two and unzipped a side pouch on the suitcase to her left. After rummaging through the pocket for a clean tissue and coming up empty, Renesa groaned and rolled her eyes, wondering why it was she had agreed to this in the first place.
Less than five minutes into her arrival, things were already unfolding as unfavorably as she had imagined. Her first instinct was to call Seth, maybe bitch and moan to him until he forced her to get off the phone and ring the doorbell yet again. Shaking her head free of the idea, Renesa quickly decided against that. If calling someone made sense at all, then the only person she should be getting in touch with was Vince, since it was his house and he was hosting this shindig. Of course! Why hadn't she thought of that sooner?
The house was massive and she couldn't expect Vince to hear every single new arrival who showed up. All she had to do was touch base with him and, surely, he would come to let her inside. That alone would essentially kill two birds with one stone, because not only would she make it safely inside the house, but she wouldn't have to see Linda on her way in, which was her real concern. It was all so simple she wanted to laugh at herself, but she was too busy scrolling through her contacts to do so, finding Vince's number. While the phone rang, Renesa folded her left arm across her chest, holding onto the inside of her right elbow with her left hand.
Vince answered after a single ring, almost before that initial alert even had a chance to complete itself. It was as if he had been staring at his phone in anticipation of her call. "Hi there, sweetheart."
"Hi, Daddy. Um, where are you?" she asked, backing up into the courtyard and spying birds flitting and chirping around the rim of a cement fountain across the yard, swirly decorations carved into the sides. The home loomed overhead and cast eerie shadows on her, a foreboding of what was to come, she assumed. Renesa hoped the day would be pleasant and surprise her, but she just had a feeling. A sinking, gut feeling.
"I'm home, waiting for you."
"I'm already here," Renesa said, absently cupping her right cheek. "I rang the doorbell, but no one came. Then I knocked, and nobody came then, either."
"Oh, that's because the door is open," Vince said. "Come on in."
"You never leave your front door unlocked," she said, growing suspicious. Renesa narrowed her eyes and her vision circled up to the top floor of the home.
"I know, but we have a security gate so it's not like anybody else can just walk through the door, and besides, I've been expecting you for the past hour, so I unlocked it. See yourself inside and I'll be right with you."
"Okay," Renesa said, dismayed by his behavior. The line went dead and she shoved her phone into the back pocket of her pants, grasping the handles of her suitcases in either hand. She rolled everything forward with her and stood in front of the door, taking another breath and letting it out through puckered lips. She used one hand to fluff her hair and licked her lips, blinking her eyes rapidly a few times as she mentally talked herself into what she was about to do. She even whispered, "Come on, girl, you've got this. Put your big girl panties on and deal."
The back of her bejeweled ring clinked against the door knob as her fingers curled around it, her palm settling on the center. She gave the thing a twist and pushed it open, and with only enough time to get a single foot inside, she jumped in surprise as the entire foyer erupted at once, a cacophony of sights, sounds, and smells. Instead of the usual shouts of 'Surprise!' Renesa earned something far better: recognition for her decision.
"Congratulations!" everyone said, a word spoken in perfect unison. Renesa's mouth dropped open and her eyes filled with glee as she looked all around her, to siblings and nieces and nephews and everything else in between. She was loved. She was blessed. But, most important of all, this was a moment she would cherish for the rest of her life, and the day wasn't even truly underway yet.
"Oh my God, you guys!" Renesa squealed, covering her gaping mouth with one hand. Her next words were muffled by said hand. "I love you so much!"
"We love you, too," Vince said, smirking like a hyena.
He opened his mouth to carry on, but before he could finish his entire thought, the kids sprang forward. The girls were first, since they happened to be faster, and they dashed right up to Renesa, each jockeying for position to hug her around the waist and be the first to earn one of her famous kiss-and-hug combos. Renesa released everything that had been in her hands and pulled off the strap from her bag, lowering it to the floor as she knelt in front of her six nieces and nephews. She took care to greet each of them one at a time, looking each child in the eyes.
Although Murphy and Vaughn, in all their eagerness, had beaten Aurora to the head of the pack, with her being the oldest and tallest, she bullied her way to the front, throwing tiny jabs with her elbows to force her sisters and cousins to relent. She threw her arms around Renesa's neck, which was a big deal to Renesa, because Aurora didn't warm up to just any old person. As assuredly as she had approached, Aurora grew exactly that reserved when she pulled out of their embrace, scratching the side of her nose and smiling crookedly. "Hi, Auntie."
"Hi, beautiful."
"Auntie, hi!" Vaughn squealed, bursting out onto the scene.
She squatted down low enough to slip beneath the tangle of arms and legs surrounding her, latching onto Renesa's side. As shy as Aurora could be with those she wasn't familiar with, Vaughn was that outgoing, and then some. She was boisterous enough with perfect strangers that she would easily have been able to be snatched by someone unknown to her, seamlessly fitting in with any group of people she came across, a fact both comforting and terrifying. Vaughn had the best of both worlds, as far as inherited qualities from her parents. She had received Stephanie's charm and Paul's wit, a wicked combination.
"Hi, pretty girl," Renesa said, stroking Vaughn's medium blond locks, which had been separated into two low pigtails, one on each side of her head. "What have you been up to?"
"I got a tattoo!" Vaughn shouted. She pumped her arms and jumped up and down like popcorn kernels in the microwave. Laughter filled the room as she held her right arm out straight and showed Renesa the pink-winged butterfly outlined in black. Renesa feigned shock and leaned in close, kissing the tip of Vaughn's nose.
"That is just about the most awesome thing I've ever seen. How cool is that?" she asked, the question rhetorical in nature, although Vaughn hadn't picked up on that.
"It's the coolest ever."
"It sure is."
Aurora, dismayed at no longer being the center of attention, huffed and crossed her arms. "It's not even real."
"So what, Rora?" Vaughn argued, frowning up at her big sister, a warning crinkle forming in the bridge of her nose. "Neither was your tattoos real when Daddy gots 'em for you, but I still liked yours."
"Real or not, I love all of the tattoos you girls have ever had. They're just adorable," Renesa said, turning to Murphy next. The girl smiled, a long French braid resting down the center of her back. Her eyes lit up when she smiled, and Renesa couldn't help but smile equally as wide. Of all her nieces and nephews, all of whom she loved like her own, there was a distinct emotional connection she and Murphy shared that she couldn't explain, almost like they had been best friends or sisters in a past life. Murphy stepped forward and Renesa caught her hands, rubbing them in her own to warm them. "Hey, girly. How you doin'?"
Murphy grinned, displaying a missing tooth, and reached for Renesa, who raised up and lifted Murphy off her feet while they hugged. She placed her back down within seconds, smoothing the front of her hair with her hand, settling the odd wisp or two that had decided to operate on a mind of its own. "Good."
"Good?" Renesa said, her mouth falling open as she held Murphy close. She made a silly face, earning a laugh out of all the children. "That's all the info I get?"
"I dunno," Murphy shrugged, hiding her face in Renesa's shoulder. Often, they did far better talking when it was one-on-one, without the intrusions from multiple sets of watchful eyes.
"Aww, well, it's all right. We'll catch up later, and I'll find out what you've been up to lately, okay?"
"'Kay, Auntie," Murphy said, still grinning up a storm.
Renesa turned to the boys, who were far more patient than any of the girls, and opened her arms for a three-person hug. They all sprang forward and wrapped her in their tendrils, her hair and earrings being tugged on in the process, but she didn't really care. Feeling the love of all those children was pure fuel for her soul, rocketing her right through life. Those children were prime examples of everything right with the world, and she wanted to have kids just like them someday, tiny blessings who would call her 'Mommy.'
When Renesa held the boys out at arms length, her eyes twinkled as she beheld them. Such handsome young men, they had grown into. "How're sports?"
"Sports are good. I've been doin' good in baseball this year," Declan shared.
"Oh, that's right!" Renesa exclaimed. "I've seen pictures. What position are you playing this year?"
"I've been pitcher, lately," Declan bragged, an air of bravado in his tone. He was definitely a McMahon, in that sense. They were very proud people. Renesa giggled and rubbed his back.
"I'm sure you're awesome. I mean, it's obvious you are, with the way your team's been winning," she complimented. Then, Renesa turned to the other two boys. "How about you guys? How's baseball?"
"Auntie Renny, I've been shortstop for a long time, and I'm real good. Declan's good, but so am I, but he might be, like, um, maybe a little better than me, but I'm good, too," Kenyon rambled, bringing a sunny grin to Renesa's face. She snuggled him close and kissed his cheek.
"I'm so proud of you. You guys always give everything your all," Renesa said. "You should be so proud of yourselves. What about you, little Mr. Rogan? How's it going?"
"I play basketball," he boasted proudly.
"Oh, that's right. You're the lone basketball player in the family."
"Nuh-uh, Auntie, 'cause I played basketball before, too," Aurora said. Her interruption was so appropriate for a meeting involving the McMahon/Levesque clan. Somehow, the whole darn family turned every single discussion into a competition. To outsiders, it was obnoxious, but to all of them, it was simply everyday life. They wouldn't have had it any other way.
"Oh, right, of course. I can't believe I forgot," Renesa said, slapping her forehead with the heel of her hand. She smiled and winked at Aurora, then turned her attention back to Rogan. She ran her fingers through the front of his hair and he giggled at the feel of her fingertips on his scalp, so she did it again, making his tiny body shake even more with laughter. He swatted her hand away.
"Quit it," he said.
"Oh, but I love teasing you," Renesa kidded. She hugged his body to hers and studied his face, seeing traces of Shane in every part of him. "Have you been making lots of baskets for your team?"
Rogan rubbed his left eye with the side of his left index finger, his other fingers curling up involuntarily. He yawned and nodded. "Yup."
"And you're doing well in school?"
"Uh-huh," Rogan nodded again.
"Your grades are good?"
"Yeah, 'cause I always turn in all my work, Auntie."
"That's what I like to hear," Renesa said.
"And me too," Declan cut in, jerking his head to the right to get the wispy, dark hairs out of his eyes. They instantly fell back in the way, but that time, he left them. "I'm on Honor Roll for, like, the millionth time."
"Me too," Aurora boasted. "I always get Honor Roll, plus I got to be my teacher's helper twice this year, and only the best kids in class get to do that. Plus, I got to be in Student Council."
"I'm getting to be in Student Council, too," Murphy said, raising her hand so everyone would know it was her who was speaking. Once all eyes settled on her, she lowered her hand, considering the gesture a job well done. "Um, well...not yet, only 'cause I'm not old enough, but I'm gonna be in it, too, once I'm in second grade."
"No, it's third," Aurora corrected, leaning in extra close to her sister's face, as if the only way Murphy would understand her was if she, quite literally, read her lips. "You have to be in at least third grade. That's why I can do it, but you can't."
"Oh," Murphy said. She took the dose of reality in stride, accepting that she would have another couple years of growing before she could travel down the roads her older sister had already begun exploring. Still, she couldn't be one-upped without offering up at least one accomplishment of substance. "Well, anyways, I colored a picture at school, and only five people outta my class got their picture picked to be in a art show, and my picture was one of 'em. I draw and color good."
"That's a huge accomplishment, Murph, and I hope you keep up with all of your drawing and coloring. You'll keep getting better and better over the years," Renesa beamed. "I just have to say, it's so good to see all of you. You're all still as adorably cute as I remembered."
"No, you're cute," Murphy teased, tapping the tip of Renesa's nose. She let her finger rest there, so Renesa mimicked her actions by bringing her index finger down onto the tip of Murphy's nose.
"No, you're cute," Renesa countered.
"No, you!" Murphy declared.
"No, you!" Renesa argued.
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"All right, you two. I say you're both cute, now knock it off," Vince cut in.
Peels of laughter broke out, and Renesa stood up, dusting off the thighs of her pants. She glanced behind the kids to the line of amused adults watching on: Vince, Marissa, Shane, Stephanie, and Paul. Linda was most notably absent, but it was a welcome relief to Renesa, who wouldn't have had the words to say to her anyway. She wondered if Linda was upstairs hiding away in the bedroom she had shared with Vince for so many years on end. Or perhaps she had made plans with her best gal pals and left the house, unable to bear even the mere sight of Renesa's sad countenance.
Wishing the negativity away, Renesa silently declared it her mission to make the most of the day and to bond with every member of her family as best she could. First, hugs were in order, so Renesa slipped through a small crack in the cloud of children before her and went to Stephanie first, pulling her into a massive bear hug. She kissed Stephanie's cheek twice and held her around the neck. "It's really good to see you, Steph. Thanks for coming and for bringing the girls."
"Hey!" Paul scowled from beside them. "What about me?"
"Oh," Renesa giggled, adding, "and thank you for bringing Paul, too. I swear, you Leos just always have to be the center of attention, don't you? Steph must go crazy living in a house full of you."
"What's a Leo, Auntie?" Murphy asked. Renesa turned back and winked at her, simultaneously pulling out of Stephanie's arms.
"I'll explain it to you later, honey."
"'Kay," Murphy shrugged.
Vaughn stood on her tippy toes and cupped her mouth, wanting to share a secret with Murphy, who bent down and humored her, smiling as her younger sister whispered into her ear. Briefly, Renesa imagined Vaughn was sharing the details of what it meant to be a Leo, but then she remembered Vaughn was the only person in the Levesque family, besides Stephanie, who wasn't one, so it wouldn't have made sense for Vaughn to know what any of that meant to begin with. Still, it was fun pretending the little girl was dishing out astrological secrets, with all the adults in the room none the wiser. Brushing her lips over his cheek for a light kiss as she leaned forward, Renesa hugged Paul close, smiling when he patted the middle of her back.
Renesa tried pulling away seconds later, but he held onto her partially, both him and Stephanie drawing her in. Paul was first to speak, in a hushed tone. "You won't regret this decision, kid. This is going to be the best thing you ever do for yourself."
"You will have the time of your life, Renesa," Stephanie added, "as long as you give yourself the chance to learn and grow. We're excited for you, we love you, and we want you to get everything out of life that you've ever dreamed of."
Renesa nodded, taking care to make special eye contact with them both, then she tugged gently from the warm cocoon of their arms and made her way to Shane. He smiled with his lips pressed together, an expression fairly common for him, but she saw it in his eyes, the hurt and hesitance that still lingered in them. He didn't quite seem to know what to make of Renesa anymore, after how things had left off. "Shane, I..."
He cut her off, swiping the air with his right hand as a dismissal, of sorts. "Don't mention it, sis. I'm just here to support you. Love you."
"I love you," Renesa returned.
When she hugged him, her head pressing against his shoulder, her throat ached with the oncoming of fresh tears. While forcing a lump down in her throat, she blinked away the ones that threatened to fall. Shane had always been her big brother, her protector, and she just kept hurting him and the rest of her family over and over again, like it were all some game. These were actual people's lives that she was affecting, and it didn't feel right anymore to turn the other way and pretend she wasn't destroying everyone around her.
When they separated, Renesa blotted her eyes with the tips of her fingers and worked up a sad, lopsided smile. "I'm really sorry about not calling you back, Shane."
"I know," he said, bringing his right hand down on her left shoulder. Slowly, for added emphasis, he said, "It's okay."
"Well, it's not," she countered, "but maybe it will be later, once I get a chance to make everything right again."
"Today's your day, and you've earned it," Shane said, giving her a soft and backhanded swat in the stomach that made her giggle. "Let loose and have fun, chick."
Renesa pointed at him and turned to the peanut gallery spread out all around her. "Best big brother ever."
"I'll second that!" Stephanie said, thrusting her pointer finger in the air.
Shane flushed a little, taking a step back and dropping his shoulders. "Hey, thanks, guys, but this isn't about me. This is Renesa's day, and I want her to have it."
Next in the lineup was Vince, and when Renesa's eyes met his, they held each other's gazes for a while, saying all the things through their eyes that would have otherwise come out of their mouths. Vince was first to extend his hand, which Renesa grabbed onto, and he used it to reel her in, holding onto the back of her head as they embraced. Vince inched his head back after a moment and pressed his forehead into hers, speaking lowly. "It's been an absolute honor watching you grow into such a beautiful young woman. I can't wait to watch your journey. I know you'll be great."
"Thanks, Daddy," she murmured.
"Take pride in learning to run this company. It's going to be yours someday, and I need to trust that you'll run it well after I'm gone."
"I promise," Renesa said, her nose bumping into his as she nodded. They laughed and pulled apart, but then Vince puckered his lips, so she leaned back in and gave him a quick peck. Wearing his classic Vince grin, he slipped an arm over her shoulders and led her toward the next passage of the home, which led into the sitting room.
"Let's take this out to the backyard, shall we?"
Renesa smiled and settled into his gentle touch. "We shall."
A double set of French doors, outfitted with sheer drapes, led out onto a concrete patio. A circular patio table sat beside a double hung window, allowing a perfect view into a portion of the kitchen. Plush chairs with black legs and olive green seat cushions surrounded the outdoor table, a total of five. An arch carved itself into the backside of the home, forming what appeared to be a cove that protected the patio area from wind, rain, and the like. A ceiling fan and lighting system hung above the table, and a few feet away, a set of cement stairs opened up into another outdoor seating area.
This one was enclosed on a circular cement floor, surrounded by patches of orderly, cut grass. Half a dozen rocking chairs faced an empty pit, intended for fire-starting on cold nights. Many a time during her past visits, Renesa had come up with excuses for why it was necessary to have a family bonfire, and she would get Vince, Shane, and Stephanie along for the ride. Inevitably, they would end up jogging back into the house for chocolate bars, jumbo marshmallows, and graham crackers, sharing stories and desserts and precious time together right in that very spot. Those were the memories nearest and dearest to Renesa's heart.
A garden full of bountiful flower species sat bold and bright to the right of the fire pit, a few small birch trees having been planted behind it like fancy afterthoughts. Clear across the yard was the swimming pool, complete with several lounge chairs on either side. A moderate patch of woods lined the halfway point of the yard, opening up into a small clearing that birds, ducks, and the occasional deer or two had made their own unofficial home. For now, it stood empty, but the dusty dirt pathway etched between the trees led out to an area complete with courts, both tennis and basketball.
Farther up the path, there was also a gazebo with a hummingbird feeder dangling from the edge, swaying in the easy Connecticut breeze. That had become one of Renesa's favorite thinking spots, a place she went when her mind grew too full of jumbled stresses. It was a place where she found herself whenever she had become lost. She made a mental note to sneak out there later, when no one was watching, so she could get herself into the right head space for work on Monday. Once she had enough time to herself, she might even call Seth, check in with him and make sure he was good.
The simple thought of him led her eyes to flutter closed, and she had flashes of the last time they had been together. A warm hand cupping her breast, a hot tongue whipping over her neck, a burst of heat flooding into her body upon his arrival to climax. When she opened her eyes, she smiled a little and wrapped her arms around herself to counteract the breeze as she strolled over to the garden, breathing in the fresh air. Whenever she thought of Seth, all she felt was warmth, the extent of his love for her.
Sometimes she wondered what she had done to make him love her so much. In truth, Renesa didn't feel all that lovable. She was just a girl, and not even a put together one. She had so many flaws and downfalls, problems and baggage, but each time she saw Seth, the love he had for her never left his eyes. He still always wanted to hold and kiss her, to undress her and make love, and that was a realization she hadn't come upon until right then, standing in her father's backyard.
Seth had seen the best of her, but he had also seen the worst and, yet, he still wanted her. A swirl of emotions started in her belly, forming a vast cloud that spread to the rest of her body, and she recognized it right away. It was the urge to know more. She wanted to call him, to ask what it was that set her apart from any other girl he came across, because it was no secret Seth could have his pick of women. But he wanted her; why?
Was he power hungry? Did he want to use the McMahon name to get his way, to get more TV airtime, segments, and matches than any other Superstar? Had he watched Paul's and Stephanie's love story and convinced himself he could do the same except more sinister, worming his way into a McMahon's life and claiming a chunk of the company as his own should they decide to get married? Renesa's heart sank like a stone surrendering to the bottom of a lake, and for a minute, panic set in, the kind that gripped her heart like an icy cold hand and wouldn't let up.
Then, she asked herself, what kind of woman had she become that she couldn't accept love from someone of the opposite sex without questioning their motivations and imagining ulterior motives? Why couldn't Seth love her simply because he did? Why couldn't it be because he was stricken by the blue of her eyes, or because he treasured the warmth from her body whenever they were tucked in bed together, or because he could share his deepest secrets with her in a way he couldn't with anybody else? But if that were the case, if he loved her that much, and she him, then why were they wasting time being apart?
Renesa jumped and sucked in sharply when a pair of large hands came down on her shoulders. She whirled around, eyes wide, and was met with Paul's knowing smirk. "Penny for your thoughts?"
"Oh, uh," Renesa rambled, frazzled by his sudden appearance, "I was just, uh...thinking."
Paul's brow fell into an amused frown and he scoffed. "Yeah, I know you were thinking. That's why I offered up a penny for your...you know what? Never mind. Take a walk with me?"
"Oh, um," Renesa turned back toward her mingling family and found them all lost in conversation, planning for when the caterers would arrive with the food. She jerked her thumb behind her, asking, "What about them?"
"It's okay," Paul said. "They need time to set up, and I told them I was going to steal you away for a bit, so we're all good."
"Okay," Renesa said. Glancing up and down at his outfit, a plain black tee paired with black pants and shoes, she gave a nod of approval. "Nice to see you in something other than a suit, by the way. Sometimes it feel like you're in the office 24 hours a day, every day."
"If you feel that way, just imagine how I feel," Paul joked. Placing his hand on the center of her back, he led her along the clearing to the pathway, but they didn't wander all the way over to the gazebo. Instead, they stopped by a cluster of tall sugar maple trees, hidden from view of everyone they had left behind. Something was brewing, if Paul was pulling her aside like this, but Renesa couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was.
"So, what's this about?" Renesa quizzed. "Is this, like, a serious talk or something?"
"Nah, no, nothing serious," Paul said, sniffing loudly and rubbing at the tip of his nose with the side of his forefinger. "I just wanted to touch base with you."
"Oh, yeah, so did Dad. He had a talk with me about taking work more seriously this time around, and I told him I would. To be honest, after looking back on how I acted last time I worked for the company, I'm a little embarrassed. I showed up late, or didn't show up at all, and blamed other people for it instead of taking responsibility for myself, and I just feel really bad," Renesa confided. Paul nodded and brought his right hand up to her left shoulder, giving her a couple squeezes of reassurance. "I know this isn't a proper excuse, because there isn't one, but I think I was under so much stress with everything going on in my personal life that I just sort of caved under the pressure. I know I'm capable of better, though, and I'm ready to prove that to everybody."
"That's great to hear, and I'm genuinely happy for you, but this talk actually isn't about that," Paul said, flicking his index finger across his nose once more. He was nervous, and if his nerves were getting to him, that meant this talk was probably going to be about a subject Renesa didn't care to discuss with anyone else right then. She barely managed to hold back a groan, staring down at her feet while she counted from one to ten on the inside to calm herself down. Here it came, the drama she was trying so hard to avoid. Somehow, it always found her.
Renesa cleared her throat softly. "What's it about, then?"
"This Seth thing," Paul began, holding up his hands in a placating halt when Renesa rolled her eyes and started to turn away from him, "wait a minute, Renesa, listen to me. Give me a chance."
"I don't need to be lectured again about Colby. Seriously, it's my personal life, and you guys can't just get away with telling me who to date."
"I'm not trying to do that at all, actually," he explained. Paul took a few steps forward to account for the steps back that she had taken, and when there were only a matter of inches separating them, he tried again. "I just want to talk, not judge."
"What's left to talk about?" she asked. "I thought everyone already said what they had to say about it."
"Steph, Vince, and I, we just want to make sure you're protected and safe and that you're getting a fair shot at building a stable career for yourself. Seth, whether you can see it or not, is a big distraction to you, and it's made some of us question what it is he's truly after. If he cares about you the way you say he does, he should be considerate enough to give you some space and let you get going with your job duties, then once you get settled, he could come back around and see if maybe there's something you guys can work out long-term to be together."
"You guys don't even know what you're talking about," Renesa said, folding her arms and laughing, although there wasn't a single ounce of humor within her entire being.
"But we do, Renesa," he argued, "because we've all been there before. We know how this goes and how it ends."
"I know that you and Steph think you're experts on my situation with Colby just because you guys snuck around to be together, but the situations are completely different, and I really wish you guys would stop preaching to me about it," Renesa said. Her legs wobbled and she wondered if they were reliable enough to stand on for much longer. She would have to make this discussion quick so she could hurry back and sit down in a chair. Collapsing on the day of her big bash wasn't much of an option. "You guys tell me to be an adult and take charge of my own life, but then when I do that, you come and pull me aside, trying to control every little move I make. Either you want me to be an adult, or you want to control me. Take your pick."
"We want you to be an adult who can protect yourself. This was never about trying to control you."
"What's all this about protection?" she demanded. "I don't need protection from Colby, because he doesn't hurt me. He's one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I don't know what I'd do without him."
"I'm on your side," Paul declared, sensing her frustration. "It might not seem like it, but I am. Remember we had this talk at Raw this past week, and what'd I tell you? I said I would never make you feel backed into a corner again the way I did before. I'm not trying to sway your decisions at all. I'm trying to see where your head is at."
"If you must know," she said, "Colby decided we needed to be on a break a couple weeks back, so we're not even officially together right now. We still see each other and talk, but we're not a couple and we're no longer in an exclusive relationship. He's waiting for me, and I'm waiting for him. I know you guys like to judge him and picture him as the bad guy who's only after one thing, but he takes care of me and when he realized our relationship was becoming overwhelming for both of us, he put the brakes on it. But go ahead and assume that he's still only after sex or whatever it is you think he wants out of me."
"It's not that, Ren."
"Why are you guys so against him?"
"We're not."
"Then why are we having this talk again, for the zillionth time?" Renesa asked. "Why are you so dead-set on keeping me and Colby apart? Do you have some sort of secret vendetta against him that I don't know about?"
"Why would I have a vendetta?" Paul asked. "Think about what you're saying right now."
"Then what's the problem?" she shot back. "Colby and I aren't together right now and we're just friends, so why do you think I need another lecture about this? Why do you find it necessary to do this every single time I'm in the same vicinity as you?"
"Why are you so defensive about it? This isn't a lecture," Paul said, reaching his hand out to touch her arm. Renesa pulled out of his reach. "I'm just making sure your head's in the right place before Monday, and it seems it is, so we'll leave it at that."
"Good, let's leave it," Renesa said.
Paul smiled at her, his way of making up, but she couldn't erase her downtrodden brows and stormy demeanor. Just like that, the joy had been sucked out of her day, and she didn't know how to get it back. Suddenly, the thought of returning to work made her nauseous instead of excited. With her arms still folded, Renesa strode back to the yard, a trail of old, dead leaves crunching beneath her boots. Paul kept his distance and followed behind her.
With all the frantic planning going on, it didn't appear most people had noticed they were even gone, but Stephanie had realized some sort of pow-wow had gone on behind the shield of the trees. Hell, she and Paul had probably planned it together before the sun had risen that morning. She glanced up with a smile, which gradually disappeared when she noticed Renesa's deep frown and Paul's worried pupils moving side to side like frantic little tennis balls being swatted from one end of a tennis court to the other. It was safe to say he knew he had messed up, or at least rocked the boat a tad too much.
Renesa tried to pass through the throngs of her family as undetected as possible, but Stephanie reached out and snatched her by the arm. "Ren, hey, hold on a sec. Is everything okay?"
She scratched at her temple and struggled to keep an emotional tremble from entering her voice, because none of this needed to be made out as a bigger deal than it actually was. If she was starting fresh and building a new reputation for herself, it needed to start with not running the opposite direction anytime a problem found her. She could remove herself from the situation, but she couldn't shut down all the people around her who cared and wanted to help. As Stephanie's gentle blue eyes bled into Renesa's, she knew only two things to be true: Her sister loved her and wanted to help.
Softly, so as not to attract negative attention, Renesa said, "I'm really sick of having conversations about Colby. I know you guys don't think I should be with him right now, but like I just told Paul, we're not even officially together anymore. Colby felt like our relationship was too rocky and asked for a break, so we're still friends and we still talk, but we're not together. I know Paul cares about me and just wants to help, but I honestly feel like there was no reason for him to pull me aside and have that kind of conversation with me today. No reason at all. This day is not even supposed to be about all that."
"I'm sorry, I'll talk to him."
"It's fine. I'll be right back," Renesa said, already stepping around her sister. "I have to pee."
"Okay, but come right back, will you?" Stephanie called after her.
"Yeah, I will," she tossed over one shoulder.
Renesa forced a smile as she passed by her father and the kids, and she even flashed an empty smile at Shane, who frowned, seeming to notice something was off. He tipped his head, as if to silently ask why, but she winked and carried on inside. Renesa slipped inside the patio door and shut it. When she turned back for a few seconds, simply to observe the view, Stephanie appeared to be giving Paul a firm talking-to, which he was taking like a champ, staring down at his shoes and nodding meekly while she laid into him. So Stephanie hadn't been in on that whole thing after all.
What was it, then, that Paul found so threatening about Seth? This was becoming weirder by the minute, almost like Paul had a personal problem of some kind. Did he know something about Seth that Renesa hadn't yet found out? Or was he just a control freak who had to have his way all the time and pull the strings in everyone else's lives? She didn't know, but she fully intended to find out, because this couldn't go on for one more day. Spinning around, Renesa froze and listened for any type of movement.
Once assured she was in the house alone, or at least a good distance away from anyone who might be lurking, she cut through the kitchen and followed an arched hallway around to the main staircase. Renesa jogged up the stairs and took a left at the top, following the dimmed hallway down to the nearest bathroom. She slipped inside and flipped on the light switch, shutting and locking the door behind her. At first, she stood at the sink, calming her breathing and staring down at her hands from where they rested on the edge of the counter top.
When she dared to look into the mirror, she recognized the fear in her eyes, the worry that something was bubbling below the surface and threatening to overtake her life. Fishing her cell phone out of her back pocket, Renesa found Seth's name and called, saying a silent prayer he would answer. A whooshing breath of relief left her when he did. "Hello, darling. How's it hangin'?"
"Colby!"
Jarred by the exclamation, Seth followed up with, "Um, yes, that's me. The person you called, right? Unless you accidentally called me or you're drunk dialing or something, but you definitely don't sound drunk right now."
"Did you do something I don't know about?"
"Um, well, I did eat like half a cake from the grocery store today, which was a complete guilty pleasure of mine I probably shouldn't have indulged in. Split it with Kofi, actually, since we both had a hankering for some good cake and frosting. It was delicious, too."
"No, I'm serious."
Seth paused, then she heard him swallow deeply over the line. He remained quiet for so long she had to check her phone and make certain he was still with her. He was. She didn't have to prompt him the way she expected she might. "I don't know what you're talking about, but what do you think I did?"
"You tell me."
"I can't tell you what I don't know."
"Then tell me what you do know."
"I literally have no fucking idea what you're getting at. If you're gonna accuse me of something, you better have some proof or something to back it up with, because if you're actually serious right now, I'm about to lose my cool. I've done fucked up shit in the past, but I've been working my hardest to move past that, and it pisses me off to be accused of something when I know I didn't do anything wrong. I've been bending over backwards to make you happy, so what are you saying, Renesa? Spit it out and stop dancing around it."
"I don't know what you did, but it seems like it must be something, considering Paul keeps pulling me aside to tell me to keep my distance from you. What is it about you that he feels the need to keep pulling me away from?" Renesa asked. "What is it about you? What does he know that I don't? Are you still talking to Zahra, or is it someone new? Paul wouldn't act like this without having a reason, I don't think."
"You're for real?"
"Yeah," Renesa said, "I am."
"You know what? I actually thought, for a smidgen of a second, that after this past week you were changing for the better, but here you are, same old drama queen from before, rearing your ugly head again," Seth replied. "Hunter hounds everybody about everything. That's just how he rolls. He thinks he knows best about every situation, so he steps in and tries to take control of shit. He can't handle the idea of something not going his way, and he hates it even more when he dishes out advice and people don't take it. That's just who he is. He told you to stay away from me, and since he feels like you're not taking that to heart, he keeps pushing and pushing for it. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him."
"I guess so."
"But for you to call me up out of the blue and accuse me of doing something wrong just because of how Hunter's acting, that's bullshit, and I'm owed an apology," Seth spat out, venom dripping from each of his words. "When you're ready to say sorry, you can talk to me, otherwise, this conversation is through. I think we need to keep our distance, at this point. I keep trying and trying with you, Renesa, and you keep shitting on me."
"I'm just trying to figure out what's going on. On Wednesday, I told Amie about what we did this past week and she said the same thing, that we needed to stay away from each other. She doesn't think a relationship based on sex is a good idea, and that's basically the arrangement we have right now. We don't have serious talks anymore or anything. We just meet up, have sex, and go our separate ways. And I'm not trying to accuse you of anything, but I'm just saying, like, if everyone around me keeps seeing something in you that doesn't bode well for me, there must be a reason they're seeing it, right?"
Seth paused for a good long while, the second time during the phone call that Renesa had to pull the phone from her ear and check the screen to make sure he was still there. Then his voice returned to him, and he delivered the ultimate stinger. "Yeah, Ren, there is a reason. They're all against it because they see that we're both toxic to each other in different ways. I'm misguided, and you're flat-out immature. I may not do things the right way all the time, but my intentions are always good. You, on the other hand? You try to act like you're this sweet, innocent girl who just wants a perfect guy to have a perfect relationship with when, really, you disrespect every person who has ever loved you. Maybe you should take Amie's advice and stop calling me if I'm so shitty."
"I'm not even saying that," Renesa backtracked, but it was too late. "I just wanted answers."
"All this from the woman who claims she wants to turn her life around and be a better version of herself. If anything, this shit proves you'll never fucking change, but if this is really who you are, then cool, 'cause I'd rather you show me this now than down the line, after it's too late. And I'm tellin' ya now, if you ever call me again to cut me down like this for no reason, I'll change my phone number in a heartbeat, and you won't get it ever again. I did jack shit to deserve this, but you don't care, because you have absolutely no regard for me in the first place. I swear, man," Seth raged, "I thought, after last week, that something had finally clicked in your head. I thought we were on the same page, but every step forward with you brings another five steps backwards. Keep going to counseling, Renesa; you clearly need it."
And then he hung up.
Renesa swallowed hard, her thick saliva somehow pushing past the uneven lump that had taken form in her throat. Seth hadn't meant what he had said. At least, not all of it. Part of his words were truth, the other part simple insults he had launched in anger. Oddly enough, Renesa wasn't sure what had led her to accuse him of hiding things to begin with. Maybe she had held onto fears without realizing them, unspoken worries that Seth might wrong her the same as he had Leighla, or that he might be maintaining contact with Zahra on the side.
Maybe she simply didn't trust Seth as much as she liked to think she did, and Paul's actions were only adding more fuel to the fire. Either way, regardless of what she was feeling, a simple discussion with Seth would have been acceptable, but she had pointed fingers and launched accusations without really knowing anything at all. It was no surprise Seth's feelings were hurt enough that he had tried to hurt her equally as much. He was, after all, only human and he could only handle so much weight on his shoulders.
So lost in her thoughts, she hadn't realized until looking into the mirror that she was still holding her phone to her ear. Lowering it down and confirming that the call had ended, Renesa turned the device over in her right hand and shoved it back into her pants pocket. Clearing her throat, Renesa fluffed her hair, then pushed it back over her shoulders so she could splash some cold water on her face to appease her flushed cheeks. She dried her face on what she presumed to be a clean washcloth hanging from a silver handle built into the wall, then returned the cloth where it went and exited the bathroom.
The pale light cast odd shadows down the length of the hallway, reminding her to backtrack a few steps and turn the light off altogether, just the way she had found it. She retraced her steps and returned downstairs, struggling with whether or not to call Seth back and apologize. She even considered texting him an apology but decided it was best to stay away for now, give him time to calm down. They would both be at Raw on Monday, and surely she could speak to him there. The kitchen was empty when Renesa entered again, the same as when she had left it, and she let out a shuddering breath through her lips to release some tension.
Wandering over to the refrigerator, she opened the door and held the handle, surveying the contents inside. While not much in the mood for food, she fancied a drink, something to wet her parched throat, and she found just the solution. Individual-sized bottles of sparkling apple juice were crowded in the left corner of the middle shelf, and she selected one, unscrewing the top and throwing it back. When she had gotten her fill, Renesa lowered the glass bottle and wiped her mouth off on the top of her wrist. Taking a big step back, she thrust the refrigerator door closed using her elbow and spun around, nearly shrieking at the figure standing across from her.
Like a silent, scurrying little mouse, Linda had snuck up on her, her chin angled high in the air as she stared down at Renesa with narrowed eyes. In a single look, she managed to make Renesa feel inferior. She knew she shouldn't give Linda the power to make her feel that way, but it was uncontrollable. She was already down in the dumps about Seth, and this was only making her day worse. She knew she shouldn't have come, shouldn't have put herself in this situation all over again. Why did she continue to torture herself this way?
Sucking at her teeth, Linda's upper lip curled in disgust, a very slight shift that was only noticeable to Renesa because she hung on Linda's every action. In some ways, although it made little sense, Renesa craved Linda's acceptance and wanted to be liked by her. But it wasn't to be. When Linda's icy voice cut through the harsh silence, Renesa involuntarily flinched. "I'm so glad you've decided to help yourself to our food and drinks."
"Oh, I-I just thought..."
"No, you didn't," Linda finished for her. The blue of her eyes was comforting, because in that soft blue hue, she recognized the resemblance to Stephanie and it gave her something to connect to. Yes, this woman was cold, but she was a part of Stephanie, and Stephanie was as warm a person as they came. Renesa focused on that instead of the way a vicious tremble had set into her legs and fingers. "You don't think at all."
Renesa wanted to lay into Linda about the voice message she had left on her cell phone weeks before. She wanted to break off a piece of her mind and shove it right into Linda's chest, force her to face consequences for her actions, but instead, she kept her mouth shut and stared at the floor. She couldn't defend herself. There was no winning with Linda. Walking in an exaggerated arc around Renesa, Linda opened the refrigerator, pulled out a glass bottle of water, and slammed the door, gliding back around her shrinking form.
As she retreated from the kitchen, returning to whichever direction she had come, she muttered something about Renesa having been raised by wolves. The parting shot stung, but not as much as the heartbreak over Seth, over her own awful behavior. Renesa couldn't even explain what had come over her that had caused her to throw around such baseless accusations, but she was right back where she had started, and it was all so discouraging. She cast a glance at the backyard, seeing that Vince and Stephanie were giving gentle direction to the caterers about where to place the food platters and drink pitchers.
They must have arrived while Renesa had been locked in the upstairs bathroom. She considered leaving, excusing herself and calling it a day, but if she ran, she would only be further proving Seth's point that she would never change. For once, she wanted to be better than that. Vince had put his all into planning this day for her, and the least she could do was go out and enjoy it with a smile on her face, even if her heart was breaking in two. Holding her apple juice to her chest, Renesa's lips quivered as she slid open the patio door and stepped back out, all eyes jetting to her.
"There's the lady of the hour," Vince boomed, holding his right hand out in her direction.
The adults stood and clapped, and the children followed suit, hopping up and down and cheering her on. Paul stuck his two index fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly, and Renesa managed a hint of a smile, tugging her blouse down as a distraction from all the unwanted attention she was receiving. She couldn't deal with this festive mood, these piercing eyes all aimed towards her, but somehow, someway, she would survive. In a sense, she imagined her success would rest upon how well she was able to morph like a chameleon and adjust to her surroundings.
Life was a game. It was all about figuring out how to play it, when to show your hand, and when to keep your cards hidden. There were moments to share your feelings and times to suck it up and stay quiet, because nobody really cared to listen to whining all the time. She thought it useful to apply those lessons to work when she returned on Monday and keeping everything focused on business. It didn't matter that she was hurting or that she had lost control of her personal life. As frazzled as her private life was, that didn't have to affect how stable her professional life could be.
At work, in her role, she could command the respect of people the way she was never quite able to in her own little world, and there was a sense of pride in that. It was a way to earn back all the power she lost every single day that she allowed herself to be beaten down by emotions. At work, her insides needed to harden, and once she became a true success in that realm, all the rest was likely to follow. As her popularity with her peers and family grew, she would gain respect, and then her family would want to be in her company all the time and Seth would probably start sniffing around her space again, too.
Renesa couldn't fall apart, couldn't dissolve into tears anymore. This was her time to shine, and she refused to let anyone, or anything, take that away from her. This was the day she would become a new person. When Vince waved her over, she went, and when he wrapped his arm around her, she plastered a smile onto her face. Her expression was slightly robotic, but it would do for now. Fake it 'til you make it; that was her motto. If she strained her lips and clenched her teeth hard enough to form a grin, eventually, that grin would become real, and she would actually become happy.
And if she became happy, she could be successful at her job. And if she were successful at her job, she could have her family back. And if she had her family back, Seth would want her again. And if Seth wanted her again, she could live happily ever after and earn the life she had always dreamed of. Giving the WWE her all was no longer a choice. It was a challenge. It was an absolute necessity. As she stood grinning so hard she feared her cheeks might crack, Renesa knew life would never be the same again, and it scared her, but not enough to back out of her decision.
This was for all the marbles.
"The food's here, so we can all start filling our plates soon," Vince said. He slipped behind Renesa and grabbed onto her by the shoulders after she placed her beverage down, turning her to observe the sea of faces looking back at her. Much to her surprise, it was no longer intimidating, seeing their expectant faces. She felt empowered, like she could control the way people viewed her. She could be powerful and captivating and admired. She could be just like Stephanie, and then some. Renesa raised her head so that her chin jutted higher, her shoulders leveling to a look projecting inner confidence. Vince cut into her reverie. "I thought you'd like to say something first, Renesa, before we dig in."
"Like what?" she asked, inwardly cringing seconds after. That was exactly what people expected out of her, uncertainty and fear. She didn't need to ask what to say. This was her gathering, and if anybody could decide on the proper words to share, it was her. Before she could correct herself, Shane spoke up.
"Anything you want," he suggested. Marissa beamed at him with pride, loving to see her husband supporting his sisters. "We're all here for you, so it's your call."
With a succinct nod, Renesa pursed her lips, then licked them, then clasped her hands in front of her body, Vince still holding onto her shoulders. "First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for coming. Your support and love means so much to me, and I'm just really excited for everything to come. The first time around, I didn't put my all into my position with the company, but this time, that's going to change. I'm ready to take this opportunity seriously and to make something of myself. I'm the lesser-known McMahon daughter, but one day, I promise you, people will know my name. I'm ready to spread my wings and fly, so I hope you guys are ready to be along for the ride."
Cheers and applause broke out again, and this time, even though her heart still hurt, Renesa allowed herself to revel in the positive attention a little more. Everybody else looked content, and she deserved to be happy, too. They couldn't hog all the joy in the world to themselves like a child hoarding crayons and coloring books. Renesa managed to slip away from Vince and tried to grab one of the ceramic plates that had been set out, but Stephanie rushed up beside her and snatched it away, wagging her finger. "Uh-uh-uh, not on my watch. This whole thing is for you. I'll get your food."
"You sure?" Renesa asked, wanting to palm her forehead immediately after. There she went again, acting all meek and helpless. She had to act with assuredness. Twirling some of her hair around her finger, she corrected herself, saying, "I mean, if you want to get it for me, I won't stop you."
Stephanie giggled and lightly pinched Renesa's forearm. "What do you want to try? What looks good to you?"
Marissa and Shane headed toward the rest of the plates, as did Paul, to help the kids select their food while Stephanie led Renesa farther up, waiting for requests as to what her sister wanted. Minutes later, when everyone was seated and well into their meal, Vince picked at his teeth with his fingernail and glanced back toward the house. He addressed Shane instead of Stephanie. "Why don't you go grab your mother, let her know we're eating?"
"Dad," Shane deadpanned, "you know why. Leave it be."
An unsettling silence fell over the table, save for the kids babbling on in the foreground. Renesa swallowed the bite in her mouth and chugged some water, squinting her eyes to avoid the sharp rays of sunlight as she peered up at the looming house that somehow seemed much scarier than it had when she was inside just a few short minutes ago. At the kitchen window, in the small space visible through the drapes, Renesa would have sworn she saw Linda peeking out, glaring at her from indoors. She blinked and strained harder, the chilling image gone in a flash. Perhaps she had imagined it all.
Or perhaps not.
