Most of you seemed to guess where Lauren has gone... Enjoy!
Chapter 52.
Lauren took a deep breath and pushed open the door. She looked around the room and saw it looked vastly different to the last time she'd been here. Not that she could remember much from that night. Some of it she didn't want to remember. Some of it she wished she could forget. What was clear to her now was somebody had removed all her ruined work and cleared up the mess she'd made. She sighed and took a seat in front of the easel near her workstation. It was daunting knowing she had to start from scratch all over again.
She took a deep breath and walked to the store cupboard, pulling out a large piece of art board. She placed it on her easel and sat back on the stool in front of it, staring at it.
The door to the room opened and she glanced at it, feeling guilty for being there. It was her tutor, "Lauren, it's good to see you again. You look much better than last time I saw you."
"The last time...?"
"I was here when you were taken to hospital." She told her softly.
"Oh. I didn't realise." Lauren whispered. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that." She looked at the floor, a wave of shame sweeping through her.
"Do you want to talk to me about it?"
"Not really sure where to start..." Lauren told her, "Sorry. My head just feels like it's in a bit of a whirl."
"Of course. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to Lauren. I just wondered if you might want to." She came and stood closer to Lauren, "You trying to get some inspiration?"
"Yeah. I wanted to try and draw something but now I don't know what..." She stared at the board again, "What happens now? With my course, I mean."
"It's largely down to you, Lauren. I'll support you with whatever you choose."
"I'm not sure I'm going to get all the pieces done for the show." She turned to face her tutor, "There's a lot going on at the moment and I feel a bit like I'm being pulled in all directions."
"What's going on?" Her tutor asked softly.
"If you were here that night, you must've met Joey...?"
"I did. The picture you did was a remarkable likeness, Lauren."
"He's in hospital." Lauren told her, "He had a haemorrhage and a stroke and he's recovering from that. It's hard work because it's taking longer than he'd like it to." She sighed, pausing to calm herself, "And after my issues I've been referred to a specialist. He wants to check there isn't any long term damage that's been done with my alcohol abuse. So I've got that to deal with too." She brushed away a tear that was running down her face, "I draw because I love it. Now it's beginning to feel like it's another thing I have to do and that's not what I want it to be about."
"I think you're right, Lauren. Look, don't think about the deadline. Concentrate on continuing to draw what you love. I'll speak to the college head and discuss with him what your options are. Why don't you come and see me again at the end of the week and we can talk about this some more? In the mean time, you can draw if you want to. There's no pressure, Lauren, whatever you want." She walked away briefly and came back with Lauren's portfolio, "Once the ambulance took you away I spent some time looking at what you'd done. They're not all completely ruined, Lauren. You may be able to fix some of them."
"You really think so?" Lauren stood in front of the workbench beside her tutor. Slowly they went through each piece. Her tutor was right there were some pieces that were salvageable. Most of them weren't though. It was a sobering hour for Lauren as she saw the carnage she'd made when she was at the lowest point she'd ever been.
"I'll leave you be, Lauren. Please know that my door is always open if you need to talk to me."
"I will. Thanks."
Lauren was on her own again just a few minutes later. She stared at the work she'd already done and put those back in her portfolio. The rest of them were piled up and put in the bin. She didn't want to look at them any longer. She turned back to the easel and picked up a piece of charcoal. Suddenly she had an idea and put the charcoal down again and went to her bag. She pulled out her iPod and put the headphones in her ear. She selected the playlist she'd created in November and pressed play. Despite her thoughts on Christmas Day, this was the first time she'd listened to this since that day. The playlist was named Joey. She put her iPod in her shirt pocket and resumed her place in front of the easel. The charcoal was back in her hand and she closed her eyes briefly, centring herself before she started to work.
She worked for half an hour, losing herself as she became completely focused. A good song started and she cranked up the volume. For the first time in days she felt free. It was liberating. As soon as she thought it she felt guilty because it wasn't that she resented being at the hospital with Joey because she didn't; if he hadn't pushed her away she'd be there with him now. But she couldn't lie and say it wasn't nice to get away from it all for a little while after all the pressure the last few days had been.
She tidied away her mess once she was satisfied she'd achieved something worthwhile. She placed her work in a safe place where it wouldn't get damaged. Then picked up her bag and walked back out of the college. She was confronted by a surprising sight as she walked outside, "Dad?"
"Lauren... Where have you been?"
"Is it Joey?" Her concern instantly rising as her dad stood in front of her.
"No, it's you. Do you know I've been ringing you for the past ninety minutes? I was worried you..."
"You thought I'd been drinking?" Lauren said softly. Her father didn't need to say answer; it was obvious from his face. "I guess I can't blame you..." she said, slightly bitterly.
Max pulled her into a tight hug, "Lauren... I was scared. I thought I was going to find you..." Lauren stared up at her father's face, seeing the fear written across his face, "I thought I was going to be too late." He finished quietly.
"I'm sorry, dad." Lauren whispered, her arms wrapping around his waist. "I didn't mean to worry you. I was working on a drawing. I spoke to my tutor as well."
"But I called you..." he murmured into her hair.
"I had my iPod on. I needed some inspiration."
"We thought you'd be at the hospital with Joey."
"I left him alone. He needed space. He didn't need me crowding him."
"Lesley said she was with him but he wants to see you."
"He pushed me away earlier." She whispered.
"Lesley said he told her. He had a difficult physio session. His left leg gave way under him while he was doing some strength building exercises and he fell. We think it's knocked his confidence. The doctor is going to see him tonight too because he thinks Joey might be depressed."
"I want to make him better." She sobbed into her dad's shirt.
"You have been, babe. Don't think for a second that he would've made as much progress as he has so far without your support. I know I may not have shown it earlier but I can see how much he loves you and how much he needs you. We all know that. Even the doctor knows how much you've helped. He told us we should be very proud of you."
"He did?"
"Yes. The thing is he didn't need to tell us because we already were." Max kissed his daughter's head.
"Apart from Abs." Lauren reminded him.
"Leave your sister to me and your mum, okay?" He put his arm around her shoulder and started to lead her towards the car, "Let's get you over to the hospital. I'm pretty sure someone is desperate to see you by now."
"Thanks dad." She said to him once they were both in the car. "How did you know where I was?"
Lauren could've sworn she saw her dad blush as he started the engine. "When you first asked for my help with your drinking I got an app for my phone which I could use to locate your phone. It was how I found you that night. When it said your mobile was here tonight I took a gamble you were with it. I just hoped... well I hoped you hadn't had another relapse."
"I never realised you had that on your phone."
"It was a precaution I hoped I'd never have to use but I was really glad I had it when you called me last week."
"Me too."
TBC
A/N: So Lauren's starting to think about her art again. Did you like Max worrying about his daughter again? Is Joey depressed... is it another hurdle he's going to have to conquer? Am I really going to leave you hanging with just that?
