My One True Friend

Chapter Eight

Lucky

Looking back on April 17, 2008

I know what you are thinking. I broke up with Sam so I must have fallen right into bed with Emily...cause I'm like that right? I use the first woman I can find to drown out the voices in my head and my pain. But I didn't.

I would never use Emily that way.

We didn't even kiss until the night of the Haunted Star reopening. She kissed me and I pulled away. Cause...I knew she was still hurting over Zander. I knew she loved him for so many years. I wasn't sure why she kissed me...was it friendship or love or a rebound?

It all felt so crazy that night. So romantic and perfect and I didn't want to break the mood and say Why did you do that?

So instead I stroked the hair out of her face and whispered "I thought you said something about wanting to dance with me."

She smiled...so maybe it was the right thing to do? I just thought we had tomorrow to figure it all out. I should have known better I guess.

Somewhere in those three months after I broke up with Sam and that night...I had really fallen hard for Emily. I wanted to see what we could have. I thought we could have everything.

I wanted to give her a night full of fantastic memories so I told her to wait on deck and went downstairs to find the music system and put on a CD. Maybe I wanted the song to speak for me. The one I picked certainly should have tipped her off about how I was feeling...I don't know why I played games like that...okay, it wasn't easy to look at this woman I have known for more than half my life and say All my feelings have grown to a point where...I want more than friendship. I want to be the man you are in love with.

Because what if I scared Em off? She needed me...to help her get over Zander and to be there for her and to not take advantage of her grief to make a play to get her into bed.

I thought I had time to show her my love.

When I came back upstairs she looked like an angel in the moonlight...remember the white dress she wore that night? I took her in my arms and hummed along to the music, with my mouth pressed close to her ear.

(Have I told you lately that I love you?


Have I told you there's no one else above you?


Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do

For the morning sun in all its glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too


You fill my life with laughter
and somehow you make it better


Ease my troubles that's what you do


There's a love that's divine
and its yours and its mine

like the sun


And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray
to the one,

to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you?


Have I told you there's no one else above you?


Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles

that's what you do

There's a love that's divine
And its yours and its mine

like the sun


And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray
to the one,

to the one

And have I told you lately that I love you?


Have I told you there's no one else above you?


You fill my heart with gladness
take away my sadness
Ease my troubles

that's what you do


Take away all my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles

that's what you do


Take away all my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles

that's what you do) ( Rod Stewart)

The song ended and I looked into her eyes. "Thanks for the dance, Em. I can't remember the last time we danced."

"At your wedding to Liz."

"Oh, right...well did I trip over my own two feet that time?"

"You never do, Lucky."

"No? You sure? Not even when I'm nervous?"

"When are you ever nervous? You're cool under pressure."

"Sometimes I get nervous, Em. Sometimes I don't know the right words to say at all."

"Really? Cause you are always the one saying just the right thing to me to stop me from feeling lost."

"And I thought it was you doing that for me."

She smiled, that really big smile of hers that she gets when she so happy it looks like it is spilling out of her soul, and said "Look at us and our mutual admiration society."

I had to laugh at that but then I got serious and asked her "Am I doing the right thing for you now? I know the last few months had been hard ones...you still are trying to recover from losing your husband."

"I will carry Zander with me every day for the rest of my life but my life isn't over. You showed me that...always coming around with your bad kung fu movies that are dubbed horribly to make me crack up, and bringing the boys to my apartment so there's laughter and joy there and not just ghosts and pain, and taking me out for dinners and ice cream...you've been great to me. I would never have survived this without you, Lucky, and I...can't imagine losing you from my life."

"You couldn't so don't worry about that."

I hugged her then, taking care of her, doing my best for her...even though I wanted more...I wanted to kiss her again.

Then my cell rang. Cameron had been taken to the hospital because his appendix burst. We almost lost him. We sat by his bed side for weeks that spring, as he slowly recovered. Though Emily was there holding my hand, there was no time to think about kissing or dating or anything. That seemed like a foreign language in that moment. All that mattered was Cam.

And his being sick seemed to change everything.

XXXXXXXXX

Looking back to May 10, 2008

That month when Cam was sick was pure hell. He got that infection and had to have the second surgery. There were days when I thought I was losing my little boy. I know I was a complete wreck

I wasn't thinking straight at all. I sat at his beside all those nights during that time...and we all just prayed and hung on...until he was finally well again.

I swear I wasn't home an hour when Lulu came over, smiling and carrying all these burnt cookies for the boys. I totally cracked up at that. She tries...you know? Even if her efforts rarely work out right. Everyone says she is like Carly most...and maybe she is cause that's a Carly like trait. To mess up what you are trying hard to do right.

She came to cheer me up that day and offer her support but then, in the middle of our conversation, she said "I'm trying to convince Emily to go on this blind date. We have to get her out again. Liz agrees and so does Nikolas. Everyone says its time."

"Its only been six months!"

"Whoa. Calm down. I've not trying to marry her off just get her feet wet. So we made a list of possible guys that she could have her first date with."

"I took her on a date last month, Lu."

"That was just you though...her friend...I'm talking a real, real date, Lucky."

"Does Emily want to do this?"

"She needs to do this. She's always been so good to all of us...I hate that she's lonely and sad. So do you want to hear the list of choices? I thought you might help us to narrow it down to someone that would fit best with Emily. You should know...if anyone, right?"

Yeah, I should know. I really should have stopped her right there but what claim did I have on Emily? I hadn't even brought up our kiss since it happened...I was just waiting for the right time to maybe kiss her again and see if she was ready yet...if I was who she wanted...if there was a chance.

Lulu named a bunch of guys. "There's this doctor at the hospital who is HOT and single. Leo Julian. I bet he's already noticed Em too. Cause she's so pretty and all. Then there's David Harper and there's Cruz, of course."

"Cruz? My partner?"

"Yeah, I figured you could talk to him for us."

"Leave me out of this."

"Don't you want Emily happy? You know I have a guy best friend, Lucky, and I know all about these things. You can't keep them locked away for yourself just because it feels good to have all of their attention. I did that for too long...its really selfish and I know my big brother is not a selfish person."

Nothing like a little sister to turn the guilt screws on you. She saw me as a stand up guy who would never sabotage Emily's chances at happiness. I hate to tell Lulu, but she just don't know me that well if she thinks I really wanted Emily diving into the dating pool again with anyone but me... of course I would support whatever Emily wanted though, no matter what that was.

I just didn't have to like it, that's all.

XXXXXXXXXXX

So that night I called her to ask her what she thought of this whole scheme of Lulu's. She answered the phone speaking really softly "Hey Lucky, how's Cameron?"

"Good. He's in his own bed finally. Sound asleep."

"Good."

"Why are you whispering?"

"I'm on a blind date. He's in the bathroom right now...I'm at home. I drove us to dinner and we came back here for a drink. I love driving on a date, you know. It throws guy's off their game a little bit."

"You agreed to go out with one of Lulu's choices for you?"

"You heard about that huh? No I didn't agree. Your sneaky little sister sent him to my door tonight. I was dressed in scrubs when he showed up!"

"Who is it?"

"I got to go. He's coming out."

"Emily...who is it? Emily!"

Click.

Well, you know as well as I do, who it was. She went on six dates with Dr. Leo over the next seven weeks. And for a while there it looked like all my chances of ever dating my best friend were going up in a cloud of smoke.

Coming up: July 4th