(I'm off for the next two days, so I'll probably be posting a lot today and tomorrow. I'm enjoying having some time to write and reflect. I'm trying really hard to approach this story from a realistic view point. I am trying to really get inside my character's heads and think of what they'd be feeling. This story has a special place in my heart, and when I finish it I'll inform you all of why it does and why I wanted to write it. My reasoning behind the story has made everyone seem very out of character. Except for Merle. I feel I've probably stayed truest to Merle's nature in this story out of everyone. Anyway, here's the next one. I hope people are still reading and enjoying this.)
It was Sunday morning and Carol and Lori were strolling through the grocery store to pick out some healthier meal choices for when her parents came into town tomorrow. The two had gone and gotten a pedicure earlier and Carol had wanted to stop by the supermarket on the way back.
As they made their way toward the food section Lori suddenly stopped in her tracks as they passed the baby aisle. She'd seen a frilly pink dress and stopped to pick it up. "Look at this." She gushed, holding it out to Carol. "Isn't it the most adorable thing you've ever seen?"
Carol cocked an eyebrow and gave her a questioning look. "Are you pregnant too?"
She rolled her eyes and ran her hands along the frills. "I meant it would be adorable on your baby."
I don't even know what I'm having yet." She pointed out.
"Yeah, but I'm sure you've thought about it."
She smiled lightly, running her own hand down the frills. "I have."
"Do you know what you want?"
"I just want it to be healthy." She replied, honestly. "I was so scared that something was going to be horribly wrong in the beginning. This kid could come out green and purple and I'd be happy as long as it was healthy."
Lori looked over at her and chuckled. "I want a boy first whenever Rick and I decided to have kids. That way he could look out for his little sister."
Carol flashed a small smile, but it wasn't genuine. She envied the fact that when Lori got to do this she'd have someone to share all of these moments with. She'd have someone just as excited about her next appointment as she was. She'd have someone just as excited to know what this baby was. She'd have someone to discuss names with. She'd genuinely started to come to terms with this. She'd accepted the fact that she was going to be a mother and she was looking forward to her next appointment Tuesday. She was looking forward to finding out what she was having. But, it was such a double edged sword. She felt like she couldn't show that excitement in front of Daryl, and they two practically lived together. It wasn't that he'd told her she couldn't. It wasn't that she felt like he'd be mad at her for being excited. But it didn't mean that her excitement wouldn't be something painful for him. She knew he was trying. Things were better than they had been a month ago when he'd first found out. He was able to accidently touch her belly without jerking away now. He didn't outwardly cringe when the word baby was mentioned anymore. They were actually having sex again, and it was happening regularly. He'd give her that adorable smirk of his sometimes and they were able to joke around some. But he still had that look in his eyes when the baby was mentioned or when he saw that sonogram picture on either of their fridges. That empty, broken look. And she knew, she knew deep down, that this was still really painful for him. That it was still a huge internal struggle.
"Well, well. If it isn't two of my favorite ladies." A familiar voice called out.
Carol looked up when she heard the voice and noticed Dale standing there in front of them with a huge grin on his face. "Good to see you, Dale." She offered, sweetly.
"Hey Dale." Lori beamed.
He looked over to the tiny dress Lori was holding on her hands. "Are you and Rick having a little one?"
She nervously looked over to Carol, whose face was scrunched up and she was pulling back on her bottom lip. "No, we're not. I was just thinking about the future." She quickly offered.
"Nothing wrong with that at all. Children are blessings. "He smiled again. "I'm sure you're excited about your wedding approaching next month."
"We can't wait! I hope you'll be there."
"Wouldn't miss it." He replied, warmly, then looked over at Carol. "And I hear congratulations are in order for you, too. Andrea told me Daryl popped the question. Have you two set a big day?"
"Not yet. It just happened right after Christmas. We've both been busy. We didn't really plan on getting married right away." She rambled.
"That's okay. I know you two just got together and it's soon, but I always thought you'd end up together. The way you two were when you were kids. You just don't see a bond like that often. I'm really happy for you."
"Thanks, Dale." She smiled, this time genuinely.
"No problem. And who knows, maybe we'll kind of be family one day if things work out with Merle and Andrea." He laughed. "I never saw that one coming."
"I don't think anyone did." She replied with a laugh of her own. She hadn't seen it coming in the least when they first hooked up, but she'd been thrilled to find out that the two of them were giving this a serious go. They seemed happy when they were together and they were both so damn stubborn and bull headed she thought they made the perfect match.
"Well, I better get going. I just came in here to grab some cat food. It was good seeing the two of you." He pulled Lori in for a close hug first. When he moved to pull Carol in he froze when he felt her belly pressed against him. He looked back over to the baby clothes and slowly pulled apart from her. He looked her over closely, noticing how baggy the sweatshirt she had on was. "Are you? Are you pregnant?" He whispered out.
She looked down and then back up at him. Nodding her head slowly.
"How far along are you?" Confusion clearly written on his face.
"A little over four months." She muttered, lowly.
"I….I didn't know. Does Andrea know?"
"She does. I asked her not to say anything yet. This was a big surprise. I just found out last month. I haven't really told anyone yet. Not even my parents. Andrea and the others wouldn't know either, but they overheard me telling Daryl on New Year's Eve."
He nodded slowly, almost knowingly. He studied her in silence for a moment and then finally offered a small smile. "Well, congratulations. You'll make a great parents."
"Dale." She began, but he cut her off.
"This baby is going to be a real blessing, Carol. Sometimes the best things that happen to us in life are unexpected. The things we never knew we wanted or needed. I can't wait to meet him or her. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone else. Your secret is safe with me." He winked.
()()()
Daryl was sitting in his living room stringing his bow and getting ready to go out for a hunt when he heard a knock on his door. He was expecting it to be Rick. He was supposed to show up and go hunting with him, but when they'd gotten off the phone a few minutes ago he'd said he wouldn't be here for another thirty minutes. He was surprised to find Dale behind the door when he opened it.
"What's going on?" He greeted the older man with a nod. "Did Merle not leave that check for the shop with you the other day when him and Andrea stopped by?"
"No, no. He did. Actually, I uh, I wanted to stop by and see you."
Daryl's eyebrows shot up. He instantly thought Merle had done something wrong to Andrea and it had pissed Dale off. "Whatever that dumbass brother of mine did to her, don't worry, I'll take care of it."
Dale chuckled. "Merle didn't do anything. He and Andrea are fine as far as I know."
"Oh, well what's going on then?"
"Can I come inside?"
He nodded and stepped aside to let him in the house. As he went to shut the door he noticed that Dale had been holding a bag behind his back. He eyed it curiously, as he watched Dale take a seat on a bar stool in the kitchen.
"Have I told you how great it is that you and Carol are engaged?"
He shook his head. "Nah you haven't, but I appreciate it." He replied, gruffly.
"I was married to my wife for a long time before I lost her to cancer. I loved her dearly. After she passed, I was never truly able to let myself move on. I don't think I'll ever be able to love someone the way I love her."
Daryl listened closely, very unsure of where this conversation was going.
"She was pregnant once. We lost the baby. It hurt her so bad we decided never to try again. She wanted a baby so bad. I did too, but above anything else I wanted her to be happy. Seeing it tear her apart like that, seeing how hurt she was after losing it. I couldn't ever ask her to try again. Her happiness was more important to me than my own." He emotionally recalled. "She quilted. She quilted a lot and when she was pregnant I can't count how many little blankets she made. I've been saving them for Andrea and Amy. Although, I was reaching a point where I wondered if Andrea would ever actually stay with a guy long enough to have kids." He chuckled.
The talk of pregnancy and baby blankets had him squirming in place. He felt that all too familiar knot in his stomach rise. His eyes shot over to sonogram picture on the fridge and it lingered there a little too long. Dale must have noticed too, because out of the corner of his eye he saw his head turn back to see what he was looking at.
"I saw Carol today at the supermarket." He bluntly informed him. "She and Lori were looking at baby clothes."
He shifted nervously on the balls of his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets. "She told you?" He mumbled.
"No…..She didn't." He replied, shaking his head. "When I went to hug her goodbye I felt her baby bump and figured it out on my own."
He hung his head and sighed. He'd known people were going to figure it out soon enough. It couldn't be hidden forever. This was just one more step to making it even more real. And he didn't look forward to having to explain to people that this wasn't his kid either. Knowing it himself hurt enough, saying it out loud was just going to be an extra punch in the gut.
"I wanted to give you this." Dale said, reaching into the bag and pulling out a hand stitched pink and blue baby blanket. "You and Merle, well you mean a lot to me. I took you boys under my wing and I'm proud as hell of the young men you turned out to be. You're damn fine mechanics, you're damn fine business owners, and most of all you're damn fine men. I think my wife would have wanted you to have this." He held the blanket out to give to Daryl.
He popped his head up at the speech Dale had just given. His stomach knotting up even more. "I don't know what she told you, but."
"Take the blanket, Daryl." He insisted, pushing it towards him.
Daryl looked at the blanket and looked down again, exhaling deeply. "Dale, it ain't…"
"Daryl, I want you to have this." He said, firmly.
"The baby ain't…" He huffed.
"Damn it, son, I know how to do math!" He spouted out, not hiding his frustrations. "Just take the damn blanket."
He wanted to argue with him. He wanted to scream to the top of his lungs that this wasn't his kid. He wanted to tell someone how bad this was actually bothering him. To let go of every ounce of frustration he was hiding deep down. Because he couldn't tell Carol that. It would hurt her. It would make her feel guilty. And in all honesty, he worried she'd love him less for it. If she actually knew that he was pretty sure he was going to resent the hell out of her child. That when he thought about seeing it, he was pretty sure he'd throw up. How could she still love him and want to be with him if she knew that. For a brief moment, he wanted to confess all of that to Dale. To tell him the truth just to get it off his damn chest. But he didn't. He didn't see the point. Dale was optimistic by nature. He would give him some speech about how things were going to turn out fine no matter what. How everything was just fucking rainbows and butterflies in the end. He didn't wanna hear that right now. He may have needed to hear it, but he didn't wanna. Because in his mind he didn't see how this ever had a positive outcome for him. He wordlessly took the blanket from Dale, pulling it a little harder from his hands than he'd probably meant to.
"I'm here for you, son. Anything the three of you need, you just let me know." He patted him on the shoulder as he stood up to leave before muttering something in Latin. "DOLOR HIC TIBI PRODERIT OLIM." He turned around to face Daryl after the words left his mouth.
What the fuck does that mean?" He grumbled, looking at Dale like he had two heads."
"Someday this pain will be useful to you." He smiled and gave a small nod before stepping out of the door.
