PLEASE READ before you read the chapter. It's an important message pertaining to a plot point in the chapter ahead.
Okay everyone, I'm on tumblr a lot and the CS fandom is huge there. The majority of blogs I do follow are CS blogs.
A few months ago, I came across this issue that I never really thought about. Emma's age when she met Neal. According to the show, she was 18. However, Henry was already 10 when he found Emma on her 28 birthday. So clearly, she wasn't 18 when she had Henry. Not only that, but her juvie records were sealed, and I don't know how certain laws work about certain things pertaining to certain crimes state to state, but most people who discussed this issue on tumblr agree that if her juvie records were sealed, then she had to have spent all of her jail time before she turned 18.
The math has also been done by many of them, and the math (done by different people and not necessarily clear without an exact date for Henry's birth) puts Emma 15/16 when she met Neal and 16/17 when she got pregnant. Others figured that Henry was born spring/summer 2001.
I know that this is a sensitive issue for some people, and I truly don't want to offend anyone, but the more I learned about this, I couldn't let it go. There are many issues that I do have with the show and how there are an abundance of issues never addressed (one of them being that Emma never told her parents what Neal did to her). I also know that as this story is a fanfiction AU, I am not obligated to address these issues. However, that's just the person that I am. I can't let go of something that is in canon and left out to further the story or ignored because there was never an opportunity for the writers to address it.
I just had to write about it.
So I am sorry for bringing this up, and if you don't feel comfortable with where I took this story, please feel free to believe that Emma was always 18. Yes, you can have headcanons for my fanfiction, I'll allow it, because well, it's fanfiction, so you guys might as well.
But like I said, the most important thing for me is that I don't offend anyone. If I do, I am truly sorry, and if you don't agree with me on the issue, then that is perfectly fine. You can continue reading the story however you like, or even stop reading all together.
Even so, I do hope that I handled this issue properly and with care, and I hope you all still enjoy the chapter ahead regardless.
Thank you.
Sincerely, Ashley/Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms.
Disclaimer: OUAT is Adam and Eddy's. I just created this little fantasy because sometimes canon isn't enough.
There was a guest reviewer that tried to send me their email and it didn't work. I am so sorry about that. I left this message up in the chapter 51 slot hoping that you might see it, but you might not have, so I'm posting it again here:
"Dear guest reviewer who wanted to give me your email for spoilers, I don't think it showed up because links never do. The only thing I know to do is to put spaces between everything so it's not read as a link. Would you mind sending it again? Sorry about that. It's just fanficiton and I have no idea how to fix that or if it can be fixed. Sincerely, Ashley/Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms"
Also, I truly hope you didn't think I was ignoring you. I really wasn't. I hope you can send it again. Like I said try spaces like name gmail com so it's not a link and it may show up this time. Again, so sorry for this.
Guest asked: "Couldn't Will ask Anton fot a bean?"
I knew someone was going to ask this. I should've explained at the end of the other chapter, sorry.
Anyway, Anton hasn't planted the beans yet. He's been settling in Storybrooke and learning about the people. That is what will convince him to plant the beans. But I'm not sure when I'm going to bring in Anton exactly, because I don't know how long it would take magic beans to grow, and it's still months away from Neverland.
If anyone has an idea about the beans (the show made it seem like only a week/a couple of weeks, so...) and how long they take to grow, please tell me/give me suggestions. Because it does have to be done eventually.
Thanks. :)
DarkAngelmi818 asked: "I know you already decided on a baby name I just want a hint is it Henrietta or Davina"
Oh, I should just leave you in suspense... XD
Well, August votes blew Pinocchio votes out of the water. August - 37 and Pinocchio - 9. So August will remain and adult. This is going to be very interesting to play with, especially since he has to redeem himself to Emma and he and Killian are "brothers" now. Thank you all so much for voting!
Angsty chapter ahead. Ends on a happy note though!
Enjoy.
Chapter 49: Secrets and Lies
After August shut the door, he motioned for Mary Margaret to sit.
"So you look...different." Mary Margaret said.
"Yeah, turning to wood does that to a guy." August shrugged.
"I meant that you're all grown up, Pinocchio."
August tensed.
"Care to explain how that's possible?"
He grimaced. "Are you going to punch me too?"
"Too?" Mary Margaret asked.
Seeing her confusion, only made August himself confused. "David didn't tell you?"
Wariness seeped into her eyes. "What didn't David tell me?"
August sighed. This was not going to be fun. "About how I got here...through the wardrobe."
"That's not possible." Mary Margaret said. "The wardrobe only took one. Emma."
August shook his head. "No, the wardrobe could take two. My father convinced Jiminy and Blue to lie to you and Charming. He wanted to protect me."
Mary Margaret's jaw dropped. Geppetto lied. Jiminy and Blue lied. They were supposed to help them... "So, Charming or I...we could've, one of us could've gone through. Emma didn't have to be alone." She trusted them, oh God, she trusted them with her baby and they lied. "Why...why would..." Mary Margaret shook her head. She couldn't understand, all she could think about was that her baby grew up alone, when she didn't have to. "Protect you? Why was important to protect you?" She asked, feeling angry and betrayed. Tears pooled in her eyes.
"Nothing." August looked guilty. "My father didn't know how the curse would affect me. He was worried that I would become a puppet again, for good."
"And that..." Mary Margaret swallowed. "That was more important than me or Charming being able to raise Emma. More important than ensuring that Emma knew her parents, knew that she was loved. More important than getting her to break the curse."
"He made me promise that I would do everything that I could to make sure Emma got here." August told her.
"And what exactly did you do?" She snapped. "Emma just met you before the curse broke, so I can only assume that you broke that promise? That you didn't do a damn thing for her?"
He flinched, her harsh and truthful words inciting his guilt. "I was seven years old. I didn't know what to do."
Mary Margaret couldn't respond to that; she was so angry, she couldn't even pretend to be sympathetic. And David knew! He had known what Geppetto had done, and he hadn't told her! Oh, he was so going to get it!
She stood, walking hurriedly towards the door.
"Wait."
She stopped.
"Look, I know that you're angry." August said. "And I have no right to ask any favors, but...I'm hiding out here for a reason. I can't...I can't face what I've done. To Emma, or to myself. I can't face my father either. So, if you could, please don't tell anyone that I'm here."
Mary Margaret turned to him, a fire in her eyes. "You're lucky I don't hogtie you to a tree, and leave you there for birds to shit on." She slammed the door on the way out, clutching her bow so hard her knuckles were white.
Rationally, compassionate and kind Snow White would've given August the benefit of the doubt and her sympathy, but Mary Margaret was struggling with her relationship with her daughter knowing that Emma didn't need her and that Killian and Henry were apparently enough for Emma, she was grieving for her second mother, she was still enraged over all that Cora had done, Charming was apparently keeping secrets from her, and she had just had enough.
She was tired.
All she wanted was to have her family safe and happy, but she didn't feel like she had that family yet.
She didn't know what to do.
Henry hopped off the bus, and headed straight across the street to the library. He already told his parents that he would be there after school, and when he was done he'd call them and they'd go to Granny's.
He just reached the door when his name was called out.
Henry tensed as Regina approached.
"Henry, I've been meaning to see you." Regina smiled. "How...how are you?"
"I'm fine." Henry said, glancing around. He was nervous to be around Regina, despite her having raised him and despite her love for him, Henry couldn't trust her. Not after she teamed up with Cora and went back to using magic after she had promised him that she would change.
While he knew, and was grateful, that Regina saved his life and that she had helped get rid of Cora, he wasn't sure about Regina anymore. Her motivations always seemed centered on revenge. He was worried that Regina would try to take him away again. That she would continue to fight Emma, rather than finally call peace between herself and the Charmings.
"I...I met with Archie yesterday." Regina told him. "We're going to continue my sessions. I'm...I'm really going to try this time Henry."
He wanted so badly to believe her. "You said you would try last time, but the minute you had an easy way out, you took it."
"I won't do that this time."
"How do you know?" Henry asked. "How can you be sure that you won't try to use magic to get me again? You kidnapped me, and before that you used magic against the town to convince me to stay with you."
"It will be different this time." Regina said. "I promise, this time I will be better."
Henry sighed. "I really want to believe you, but I can't trust you. I just can't. Especially if you still can't let go of your hatred for grandma, and my parents. I'm sorry...mom." He turned his back on her and went inside the library, hoping that Regina's words would truly become her actions this time around.
Regina swallowed. She wanted to go after Henry and just take him home, she wanted to rebuild their relationship, but he was so resistant. Anger filled her heart, needing someone to blame, thinking of that damn savior and her pirate. They were Henry's parents now, and they sure as hell turned him against her.
Especially if you still can't let go of your hatred for grandma, and my parents.
Regina winced.
Henry was right. She couldn't let go of her hatred.
She glanced in the library window, Henry no where in sight, Belle watching her warily.
Shaking her head, she walked away. Perhaps it was time to learn to let go and move on.
He probably should be avoiding The Rabbit Hole if he wanted to avoid Alice, but Will was never really good at doing things he should do. Plus, he really wanted a drink.
After Rumple told him that Alice was still searching for a way to Wonderland, he was hurt. He knew Alice was never one to give up on something or someone. She was so determined. It was one of the qualities about her that he loved so much.
God, he was a fucking tosser for falling in love. Again. With another woman who broke his heart. He certainly knew how to pick them.
"Will?"
He stiffened. Of bloody course it was her. Story of his life.
"Alice." He didn't look at her, choosing to sip his whiskey instead.
Alice felt hurt when he refused to look at her. Was he angry with her? They hadn't seen each other in days; but that was her fault really. She had been avoiding him since things had gotten carried away the last time they were together.
Will looked up at her with wide, pleading eyes. "Stay? Please?"
"All right." Alice said softly, smiling gently at him. "I'll stay."
She sat back down, their hands still intertwined.
Will stared at their hands, as though unable to look away.
Alice simply watched him, observed the tension in his shoulders and the emotions flitting across his eyes. She could feel the tension building up, could feel him readying himself to speak, knowing it was going to be something neither wanted to talk about.
"Do ya still love Cyrus?" He asked it so softly that she thought she had misheard him.
"What?" Alice was thrown by his question. Mostly, because she wasn't sure of the answer.
He looked up at her, and damn him, his brown eyes were so sad and wary. "Do ya still love Cyrus?"
She swallowed nervously. Did she love Cyrus? A part of her was adamant that she did. The young, new to love, desperate for companionship Alice that fell in love with Cyrus part of her. But there was another part that was fighting her love for Cyrus. That part of her loved Will too. At least, it felt like she loved him.
She couldn't be sure.
"Alice?" Will spoke up after she took too long to speak. There was fear in his eyes.
A fear of rejection.
Alice knew that feeling.
So she kissed him instead of answering his question. How could she when she didn't know the answer?
Will kissed her back with a desperation and love that had Alice's heart aching.
She kissed him so she wouldn't have to answer; but with him kissing her back like that, she just wanted to forget about Cyrus. She wanted to forget about being confused, and god, she just wanted to feel.
Moving fully onto the bed, she pushed Will back onto the bed.
His brows scrunched together in confusion. "Alice?"
"Shh." She whispered as she straddled him.
He swallowed as she pulled off her shirt.
Of course they had sex before, when the curse was still intact, but this time would be different.
It would be their first time together as themselves, with all of their memories.
"Alice..." Will looked so unsure of himself, and Alice knew that he wanted to stop, that he wanted to talk things out.
She couldn't have that. Not right now.
Pressing her lips to his, she kissed him with fervor, tugging at his lips, silently begging him to be quiet.
Alice shook her head, bringing herself back to the present. After they had sex, and it was just sex, Alice had left while he was sleeping, feeling an overwhelming guilt for using him.
At the end of it, he had smiled at her, a spark of hope in his eyes that she just couldn't deal with.
So she avoided him and threw herself into looking for a way to Wonderland.
"Have ya found a portal yet?" Will asked. He still wouldn't look at her.
"I...There isn't one."
He didn't say anything to that downing his whiskey instead. Licking his lips and setting the tumbler aside, he turned to finally face her. "So, what're ya goin' to do?"
What was she going to do? That was a loaded question.
She'd been wondering it herself. With the lack of portals, Storybrooke was home now. This was it for them. There was no going back to Wonderland to help Cyrus. There was no going back to her home in Victorian England.
She was still trying to accept that. But at least here, she did have Will, at least she hoped that she did. Maybe they shouldn't be in a romantic relationship right now, but they were friends before. They could be friends again.
That is such a cliche. Alice thought. It happens in nearly every movie or television show where friends with too much of a history or sexual tension have sex and they try to stay friends only for it to boil over and they end up together anyway.
So not friends, but not a couple either. Where would that leave them?
"Well?" Will prompted.
"I...I don't know." Alice said. "I guess that it means, we just live our lives here. In Storybrooke."
Will nodded. But what was her decision about them? Were they friends? Were they not? Did she want him to leave her alone? Live her life without him? Or did she still want him in it?
"Will, I...I'm sorry." She licked her lips. "I...when we...I shouldn't have left like that."
"It's all right." Will shrugged, looking away from her.
"No, Will..."
"Look, Alice." Will cut her off. "I understand. It didn't mean anythin'. Ya love Cyrus, I know that." He pulled out his wallet and tossed some bills on the bar.
Alice caught his arm as he turned to leave.
Will looked at her reluctantly, preparing for the "can we still be friends" speech.
Taking a deep breath, Alice spoke. "Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. With both sets of memories, it is confusing. As far as I've worked out, I do have some feelings for Cyrus. He was my first love, and that's not something that I can get over. Not yet. But, I do...Will, you've always been so important to me, and I have feelings for you too."
He inhaled sharply.
"But," Alice continued. "I don't know if...I just want things to be clear. I know we can't go back to being friends, but I don't think either one of us is ready to be together. Not yet."
"So what're ya sayin'?" Will asked.
"I'm saying that I don't want to lose you."
He took a minute to process those words, to think about it. There was only one solution as far as he was concerned. It sucked, and he wasn't happy with it, but perhaps this way, things would eventually work out. "I love ya, Alice. I do."
Alice's eyes widened, a gasp escaping her.
"But ya are right, we need to clear our heads." Will nodded. "I think that we need to be apart for a while. Not see each other. That way, we can sort things out."
Her heart seized in her chest. Need to be apart? Not see each other? That's not what she wanted. Will was really her only friend now. Sure, she had acquaintances during the curse, but she never got close to anyone. She was always alone.
It was the exact opposite of her happy ending. Just like the Evil Queen intended.
"Will, wait." Please don't leave me.
"Trust me, Alice, this is for the best." Swallowing thickly, Will turned away before he could regret his decision.
Alice watched him leave with a heavy heart.
David was alone in the station, what with Jefferson having Grace for the week, and Emma and Killian picking Henry up from the library for dinner at Granny's. He was debating whether or not to lock up the station and go to Granny's to get dinner to go, or text Mary Margaret to ask her to pick it up and they could have a private dinner here at the station.
It had been a while since they had alone time with three other people living with them.
Meanwhile Mary Margaret was entering the station to confront David.
She had spent hours trying to cool off, trying to figure out why David didn't tell her, but she couldn't and that only furthered her anger.
David looked up at hearing her enter, the smile on his face quickly falling when he saw her scowl.
"Mary Margaret, what's wrong?" He moved closer to her, about to comfort her like he always did, but she put her hand up, keeping him away.
"Why didn't you tell me that they lied to us?" She asked, unable to keep the anger and pain out of her tone. "Why didn't you tell me that there was room for two? That they chose to let Pinocchio come over with Emma?"
His eyes widened. Of all of the things he forgot about over the years, he had to forget to tell her about that. Dammit, he was so stupid. And dead. From the looks of it, he was definitely dead, she was ready to kill him. "I...I forgot." His voice sounded weaker than his words, because it wasn't even close to an excuse by any means.
"You forgot!" She snapped. "How could you forget? That's not something small enough to warrant forgetting David!"
"I know." David put his hands up in a placating gesture. "And I was going to tell you. The night I brought back your memories, I was going to tell you. But then, we got interrupted. After that it was one thing after another."
"I don't care." Mary Margaret cried. "People we trusted with the fate of our daughter, lied to us. They took our baby from us. Emma grew up alone." Tears spilled down her face.
David drew closer and brushed away her tears. "I know. I was angry too. For months, whenever I saw August, I wanted nothing more than to start a fight and take my anger out on him. Even though, technically, it wasn't his fault. He didn't ask them to lie, or to send him through. Of course, I'm still furious that he abandoned Emma, but I've thought about this a lot. If we weren't the queen and king and Emma wasn't the savior, if we were just servants, but we had Emma and didn't want her cursed, we would've done the same."
"I know." Mary Margaret said. "We probably would have, but I just keep thinking about what Emma said when the curse broke. Which curse is worse? Being cursed together? Or Emma growing up alone? Since the curse broke, she hasn't seen us as her parents. She can't see us as her parents. And now I learn that one of us could've been with her all this time? That she could've been raised with love? That she didn't have to be alone? It's not fair, Charming."
He pulled her into his arms. "I know that it's not. I know that. But like I said, I've had months to think about it. If you or I raised Emma, she wouldn't be the Emma that we know and love. She probably, most likely wouldn't have Henry, and she may not even have Killian and a baby on the way. Her life, our lives, would be completely different." He pulled back to look at her. "I know that our lives aren't perfect, and I know that Emma's past affected her greatly, but we're all together now. We can work on our relationship with her, and eventually, maybe she'll see us as her parents, but for now, we're all together. That's something. Isn't it?"
"Maybe it is, but what if that eventually never comes?"
"It will." Charming smiled. "You just have to have hope."
"I've gotten less optimistic over the years, Charming." She sighed. "I try to have hope, but I just, I don't know if I can anymore."
"Then I'll just have to hope for the both of us." He shrugged, still smiling.
Snow shook her head, but a smile tugged at her lips anyway. "Okay." She hugged him close, the smile dropping from her face when he couldn't see. She just hoped that him hoping for the both of them was enough.
"Please?" Henry begged.
Barely on the ship ten minutes and Henry was already trying to get Killian to let him sail it.
Killian chuckled as his gripped the wheel of the Jolly. They had just pulled the ship out of it's slip, Killian directing it so that they'd sail parallel to the beach.
"Not yet, lad." Killian said. "I told you that a manning a ship..."
"Is a great responsibility." Henry finished. "Can I please steer it?"
The lad certainly didn't let up. Killian didn't have to wonder about where he got that from.
"Come on dad, this is supposed to me my birthday." Henry smiled. "What better birthday present then to let me steer the ship? Please."
Killian really did have a problem saying no to him. "Fine." He stepped back allowing Henry to stand in front of him at the wheel. "Just, promise me you won't tell your mum. I'd rather not face any wrath on her part for letting our ten year old sail after I'd been adamant about not letting you."
"Don't worry, I won't say anything." Henry said. "And I'm eleven, remember?"
Killian tilted his head. "But..." He paused. Emma was twenty-eight, twenty-nine in October. Henry had to be ten if she had him at eighteen, because Henry was born in March.
"But what?" Henry turned back to look at him, steering the wheel as he went, jerking the ship.
Both of them jumped, Killian quickly returning to the wheel to steady the ship. "Careful, lad."
"Sorry." Henry gave him a sheepish look.
"It's all right." Killian said, his tone odd.
Henry noted the unfocused look in his eyes. "Dad, are you okay?"
"Hmm? Um, yeah." Killian nodded. "Let's teach you how to sail this old girl properly." But as he taught Henry the basics, his mind kept doing the math in his head.
And the realization that Emma very well may have lied to him, stung him deeply.
Emma stared at the little book in her hands. She had been getting some small groceries from the pharmacy when she ended up in the baby aisle.
100,000 Baby Names.
She and Killian still hadn't discussed what they wanted to name their baby. Flipping to a random page, she ended up on a page categorizing the impression that certain names made.
She scoffed. How can a name say so much about a person, before they even develop a personality?
Barbie and Bjorn were the top names under the "Blonde" category for girls and boys names respectively. Seriously? Who even names their daughter Barbie?
Emma was in the "Funny" category. Another scoff escaped her.
"Nothin' ya like, lass."
Emma turned to see Will Scarlet on the other side of the shelf. "Not particularly. How've you been, Will?"
"Erm, all right, I suppose."
Emma saw the lie for what it was. "Is that your equivalent to saying you're fine when you're not?"
Will looked surprised, but shrugged it off. "So what if it is? Not like ya care."
Emma quirked a brow. "Why wouldn't I care? I know we're not close, but I figured we're friends. And you and Killian are close..."
"No, we're not." Will cut her off sharply.
She jolted slightly at his tone.
"Sorry." He winced. "The curse breaking changed a lot of things. Mine and Killian's relationship being one of them."
Emma grimaced. "He didn't do anything horrible to you when he was Hook, did he?"
"I'd say so." Will said.
"Look, I don't know what happened between you two, but Killian isn't that man anymore." Emma told him. "I know that doesn't change what he did, but the curse changed a lot of things."
"Yeah, well, families fight." Will huffed. "Ours has just lasted a couple of centuries."
Emma blinked. "I'm sorry."
Will smirked. "Look pretty good for me age, don't I?"
"No, the family part."
"Oh, Killian didn't tell ya?" Will asked. "I supposed he wouldn't want to advertise it." His tone seemed a little despondent, before he continued speaking in a faux chipper tone. "But I don't either, so it's not like it matters."
"You and Killian are related?"
Will scratched the back of his head, a nervous gesture, similar but not identical to Killian's tell. "Uh, yeah, he's uh, me uncle."
"Uncle?" Emma was dumbfounded. It had been months ago, but Emma clearly recalled the family discussion at Granny's. I bet you'll have relatives coming out of the woodwork next. She had said. Killian had told her that is wasn't "bloody likely", but here she was, the bloody likely standing right in front of her.
Killian lied to her. He said that he didn't have any relatives, but Will was he nephew? He had a nephew.
"Are ya all right?" Will asked, tilting his head, looking both concerned and confused.
"Um, yeah, it's just...surprising." Emma managed. "Killian, he told me he didn't have any family."
Hurt took over Will's features. His jaw tightened. "I supposed that's accurate. I don't consider him family, why should he?" He shrugged again, before stepping away. "See ya around, Savior."
Emma watched him walk away, feeling sympathy for Will's pain and hurt all her own because Killian lied to her. Lying wasn't something they did to each other.
But you lied to him. A voice whispered.
Emma squashed the voice in her head, suddenly very angry.
The baby tried to comfort her and calm her, but it wouldn't work.
Because Killian lied, and it hurt her more than she was willing to admit.
Mary Margaret knew that being here was probably a bad idea, but Regina had been laying low for the past week it seemed. Henry had mentioned running into Regina a few days ago at dinner, telling his parents, David, and herself about Regina claiming that
And she did just lose her mother. She killed her own mother, and she did it for Henry.
Maybe, with Cora gone, they could just finally bury the hatchet. This feud could finally end.
She rang the doorbell.
Regina opened the door, perpetual glare in place. "Oh it's you." She sounded less than enthused. "Does the little princess need something?"
Mary Margaret ignored the condescending tone. "No, but I was wondering if you did."
"I don't need anything from you Charmings." Regina sneered.
"Maybe not, but you probably need a friend." Mary Margaret said.
"Excuse me?" Regina scoffed.
"Look, Regina." Mary Margaret began, bracing herself. "You lost your mother, you don't have Henry, you're alone. I think that you need a friend. Can we please end this feud? It's time to let it go, don't you think so?"
Regina pursed her lips. "I think that I'm fine. I don't need anyone. And I really don't need a little brat like you as a friend. Not after everything you've done."
Mary Margaret felt a surge of anger. "God, Regina, get over it." She snapped. "I am sorry for Daniel's death, and I will always be sorry for that, but when are you going to blame his actual killer. I think considering that you killed her, you might've finally realized the monster that she was."
"She wouldn't have killed him had you kept your mouth shut." Regina hissed.
"I was a child!" Mary Margaret exclaimed. "I was a child, who just lost her mother. I was manipulated by Cora, because I thought that she was a kind, loving mother like my own. I thought that if you had run away with Daniel, you would've lost Cora and she you. I just didn't want your family to be torn apart like mine was."
"You didn't care about any of that!" Regina hissed. "You just didn't think of the consequences!"
"Are you serious?" Mary Margaret shook her head. "I can't believe you are so angry over this after forty-six years. It is time to move on. Isn't that what Daniel would've wanted for you? When he came back, he barely knew who he was, but just think, if he had been the way he was before his death, if he had learned of your reputation and what you had become in his name, how do you think he would react? Do you think he would appreciate it? Because I don't think he would've. I think he would've been horrified by who you'd become."
Regina felt like she'd been physically slapped. "How dare you."
Mary Margaret sighed, closing her eyes to compose herself. "Fine, Regina, believe what you will." She opened her eyes, nothing but pity in them. "If you want to be alone, unhappy, and unloved, that is your choice. No one is forcing you into it."
She turned away and walked down the walkway leaving Regina stunned and angry.
Regina slammed the door shut.
She went to the kitchen and poured a large glass of wine, wanting to drink and forget Snow's visit. But her thoughts were against her.
What would Daniel think of her now? What would it have been like if he had lived to learn that she was the Evil Queen? That she had killed thousands in his name? That she had destroyed happiness and cast a curse that ravaged their realm? That she had become a monster?
She turned dropping her wine glass in shock, the glass shattering on the tiled floor, the purplish red liquid spreading.
Her reflection had startled her, because she wasn't seeing herself.
She saw Cora in her reflection.
When did she become a monster like her mother?
Killian was glad that Emma texted him to drop Henry off at Granny's with her parents, stating that they needed to talk.
Of course, he was worried, wondering what he might have done to warrant this, but he was relieved because he could confront Emma about lying to him about her relationship with Neal.
He did the math.
Henry was born March 11, 2001.
Emma was born October 22, 1983.
With his math, Emma would've been eighteen about eight months after giving birth to Henry. Meaning that Emma was seventeen when she gave birth to Henry. Even worse, she was sixteen when she got pregnant.
And she lied to him about it.
Henry's father...we met when I was seventeen.
We were together for six months, even celebrated my eighteenth birthday with him.
Not only that, but her record had been a sealed juvie record. It wouldn't have been sealed if she had been eighteen before she got pregnant. She would've been a legal adult. Even though she had been seventeen when Neal set her up, her records still would've been unsealed if she had turned eighteen in the system.
It had been nothing but lies where Henry's father was concerned.
Lies.
They had opened up on the beanstalk. They told each other of their pasts, their hurts, their scars.
And he had taken every word from her as absolute truth.
He entered the loft, torn between wariness about approaching the subject and hurt over the fact that she lied to him.
Emma was sitting at the bar counter, her eyes on him.
She didn't look happy.
"Well, I must be in trouble then, by the look on your face." Killian teased, trying to lighten the building tension as he walked over to her. He gave her her space though, sitting on the other stool.
"You could say that." Emma said, tone serious. "You lied to me."
Killian blinked. "What?" When the bloody hell did I do that? "Emma, I've never lied to you."
"Will Scarlet."
He froze. How did she find out about Will? "I didn't lie about that. I just never told you about him."
"How is that not lying?" Emma snapped. "I also recall that you said you didn't have any relatives. A nephew kind of counts."
"Aye, I said I didn't have family." Killian growled, getting angry now. "But Will and I had a complicated relationship before the curse. I knew that he wouldn't want anyone to know that he was related to the notorious Captain Hook. I lied to keep his secret. It's not like I was lying to protect myself."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Emma asked, arms crossing over her chest.
"You lied about Neal." He said, standing up. "You told me you met when you were seventeen."
Emma first instinct was to deny his claim, so she did just that. "I never lied."
Killian looked hurt, before anger became the predominant emotion. "I'm not stupid, Swan." He hissed. "Even so, if I hadn't done the math, someone else would've figured it out."
"Figured what out?" She glared, standing up herself to face him down.
"You were sixteen." He told her. "You got pregnant when you were sixteen. And that's not all, you were still seventeen by the time you got out of jail. That's why your records were sealed." He ran his hand through his hair, turning away from her, pacing like a caged animal. "Gods, Emma, I thought...on the beanstalk we told each other so much, and I never told you a lie then." Killian paused. He pulled the swan necklace from his neck.
Emma felt the guilt nearly consume her.
"You gave this to me because you said you didn't want to live in the past." He kept his eyes on the necklace. "You gave it to me because you said you trusted me." He looked up at her, seeing her staring at the necklace, guilt and hurt in her eyes. "I just...I want to know why you couldn't trust me with the truth. Emma, I love you and Henry, and I think that I deserved to know the truth where our son is concerned."
"He's not your son." Emma hissed, angry that Killian lied to her, angry that he was bringing this whole issue up when all she wanted to do was bury it, and angry at herself for lying and trying to live a lie.
Her words cut him deeply, his heart literally feeling like it was being ripped into two.
Emma ignored his hurt, because she wanted to be angry, she wanted to bring her walls back up and push him away, because he was pushing this issue. It had always been hard to lie about Neal, it was even harder to tell the truth. "And just because I lied, that doesn't change the fact that you did too."
He swallowed, pushing down the hurt, willing himself to be angry. "Bloody hell, Emma. I lied because it wasn't my place to advertise my relation to Will. Not when I knew he didn't want that."
"Then why did he tell me he was your nephew then?"
"What?"
"I ran into Will at the pharmacy today." She said, crossing her arms over her chest, icy glare in place. "He told me who he was. So much for him not wanting to advertise it."
"Perhaps I misjudge the situation with Will." Killian growled. "But he and I aren't exactly on speaking terms, so you can't fault me that. Not only that, but Will being my nephew really doesn't affect you, other than knowing more about my past. But you lying about Neal and Henry, affects Henry and me. You've already lied to Henry about his father once, and now you've lied to me as well." He matched her glare with one of his own. "For someone who hates being lied to, and who believes that secrets don't stay secret, you sure as hell love to spout your own lies and keep your own secrets."
"Oh like you don't have secrets!" Emma snapped, needing to lash out.
"Of course I have some secrets!" He yelled. "I haven't told you everything about my past, because I'm still scared that you would hate me for the things I've done! But I've told you all of the important things. Milah, Bae, Liam. I never lied about any of that! Neal was the reason you gave Henry up, the reason you couldn't trust people, or open yourself up to love. You told me about him, you volunteered the story, and you chose to lie about it."
Emma huffed and turned away, trying to run away from the fight. She didn't want to talk about this.
"Why is it so hard to tell me the truth about Neal?" Killian asked. "You've told me enough, why the need to lie?"
She didn't answer him, keeping her back turned to him.
Killian sighed. The silent treatment, really? He shook his head and set the swan necklace down on the counter. He wasn't going to get answers from her tonight, and pushing her would only make the fight worse. They would probably end up saying more things they'd regret later.
He's not your son.
Killian swallowed. Yeah, it was better to get out of here before the fight escalated.
Emma heard him walk away, heard the door close gently, but she didn't move right away. Breathing in and out deeply, she closed her eyes trying to calm herself, failing to do so.
He left, he left, he left.
The baby sent comfort and calm to her, but it only made her feel worse.
She turned around, glancing at the door, wondering if she should go after him, or wait for both of them, for her, to cool off. Exhausted and upset, she slumped down on the barstool. Her eyes caught sight of silver.
The swan necklace.
He left it here.
I'd be honored to wear it. He had said when she'd given it to him. Right before he told her he loved her for the first time.
Over the years, Emma had been tempted to throw it away. She didn't need a reminder of not trusting people, when she hadn't been able to do so nearly her whole life. It was more a reminder of Neal than anything.
Until she gave it to Killian, after they laid themselves bare to each other.
She clutched the necklace to her chest, tears rolling down her face, fearing that she screwed everything up.
Regina thought that a Sunday morning walk would help clear her head, having been haunted by Snow's and Henry's words.
She sat at a bench in the park, overlooking the city as the sun steadily rose in the sky.
Could she ever let go of her anger? Could she ever stop blaming Snow for what Cora had done? Could she move past her anger and let go of the past?
"You're out early, Regina." Archie spoke, surprising her.
Pongo was standing dutifully still beside his master.
"I...I needed fresh air."
Archie nodded, sitting next to her. "Good, that's good."
"It's Sunday." Regina said. "I believe that you're off the clock."
"You can still talk to me, Regina." Archie told her. "Everyone needs a friend to talk to."
"We're not friends." Regina glared.
Archie ignored the barb. "What's on your mind? I promise, I won't charge you anything."
Regina sighed. After a moment of silence, realizing the cricket wouldn't leave well enough alone, Regina told him about her encounters with Henry and Snow, and what they said. She told him about how she couldn't stop thinking about it, and how she wasn't sure if she could ever change.
"It's good that you're thinking about these things." Archie said. "It means that you're aware that there is a problem, and that you need to work on things."
"What am I suppose to work on?" She asked. "Henry doesn't want to be around me. I have no one else."
"That." Archie gave a small nod. "That right there is what you need to work on. You cannot keep focusing on Henry and getting him back. You and he have had a strained relationship for a long time now. I think that what you need to work on is you. Focus on yourself, getting your life together, one separate from being Henry's mother or the Evil Queen. Just learn to be Regina. Learn to be who you were before Daniel's death. I mean, you don't have to become that girl again, but a part of her is still inside of you. When you find yourself, when you get your own life outside of this unhealthy obsession with any the Charmings, then I think you'll be ready to mend things with Henry."
"And how am I supposed to find myself?" Regina scoffed.
"Like I said, find yourself." Archie stated. "Make friends. Stay away from the Charmings for a while."
"Make friends? You're joking right?" Regina rolled her eyes before standing up. "No one wants to be friends with the Evil Queen."
"Or maybe it's the Evil Queen that's the problem."
Regina sighed. Perhaps Archie was right.
"Just think about what I said." Archie stood as well, pulling Pongo with him. "I'll see you for your session Wednesday."
Mary Margaret and David were cooking Sunday's traditional pancake breakfast when Emma came downstairs, all of them still in pajamas, because Sunday.
They didn't say anything as Emma sat down at the bar counter, both of them sharing worried looks.
When they had returned home with Henry last night, Emma had been upstairs on her bed, either really asleep or feigning sleep, they didn't know. Killian hadn't been there at all, and when David tried to call him, there wasn't an answer.
Obviously, Killian hadn't come home last night, and the only conclusion they could draw was that Emma and Killian had a fight.
"So," Mary Margaret began carefully. "Killian didn't come home last night?"
Emma winced, refusing to look at either of her parents.
"Do you want to tell us what happen?" David prompted, handing her a cup of hot tea.
Emma fiddled with the mug for a moment before speaking. "I found out that Killian lied to me about something, and we got into a fight, because I lied to him too."
"What did you guys lie about?" David asked.
"You guys know Will Scarlet?"
They both nodded.
"Well, he's Killian's nephew." Emma said.
"What?" David asked in surprise.
Mary Margaret blinked. "How is that possible?"
"Apparently, Will was in Neverland with Killian." Emma shrugged. "At least, that's what I gathered when Will told me he was three hundred years old."
"Well, that's...certainly surprising." Mary Margaret said. "But, how did he lie about that? Or did he just not tell you?"
"He said he didn't have any relatives." Emma explained. "But according to both him and Will, Will was the one who didn't want anyone to know about him and Killian being related."
"So, it wasn't necessarily his secret to tell." David stated.
"I guess it wasn't." Emma sighed. "And Killian was trying to tell me that."
"But you didn't listen?" Mary Margaret asked gently.
"I didn't want to." Emma said. "I think that I over reacted partly because of hormones, and partly because Killian had always been so honest before."
"And?" David urged.
Emma shot him a huffy look. "And...I was upset because he caught me in a lie. It was an issue I didn't want to talk about."
Both of her parents looked at her expectantly.
She wondered if she should tell them the truth about Neal, if now was the time to finally open up to them, even if it was only for a little bit.
A feeling of encouragement overtook her.
You really think it's time to tell them? She silently asked the baby.
The baby agreed.
Emma glanced over her shoulder, looking up at the loft, not seeing or hearing anything. She truly hoped Henry was still dead asleep. She may be ready to tell her parents the truth, but she was no where near ready to reveal her lies to Henry.
She turned back to her parents. "I lied about Henry's real father." Taking a deep breath, Emma tried to keep her nerve. "His name was Neal Cassidy, and he was twenty-four when I met him. I told Killian that I met him when I was seventeen, that we were together for six months until I was eighteen. That I had Henry when I was eighteen." She swallowed, watching her parents reactions.
They were shocked that she was actually opening up, but they were also listening intently.
This furthered encouraged Emma to continue. "That was a lie. I did meet a man named Neal Cassidy, and he was twenty-four, but I was sixteen when I met him. I ran away from the group home that I was in and I was living on the streets. I was a thief. About a month afterwards, I stole a yellow bug, and Neal was in the backseat. I thought it was his car, but after barely escaping getting a ticket, I learned that he had stolen the car before I did. It took a while for him to earn my trust, and he did it by teaching me how to be a better thief. We were like, Bonnie and Clyde, or whatever, and it was really exciting. I thought I finally found someone who understood me, who could love me, and I had fallen in love with him, hard. But we were thieves, and that catches up with you. We were only together...roughly three, three and half, months before he found a wanted poster with his face on it. He had stolen some expensive watches from his previous employer. He was going to go to Canada, leave me behind. I begged him to let me go with him, and finally, I convinced him to let me get the watches from a storage locker. I got them and he gave me one to wear so I'd know what time to meet up with him after he fenced the rest of the watches. He ended up calling in an anonymous tip and I was arrested for his crime. Two months later I'm in prison in Arizona, pregnant with Henry. The only thing Neal sent me were the car keys to the bug and a keychain he had given me."
Mary Margaret had tears in her eyes. Her baby girl had fallen in love only to be betrayed.
David, for his part, was trying to hold in his anger. A twenty-four year old man manipulated his sixteen year old daughter and sent her to jail for his crime so he could get off free? Oh, David was furious.
"Did...did you ever hear from him again?" Mary Margaret asked.
Emma shook her head. "No. I had no way to contact him. We had planned to go to Tallahassee after we fenced the watches, so after I got out, I went there and stayed for two years, hoping to find him, or that he would find me. That never happened."
"Oh Emma." Mary Margaret hugged her daughter, holding her close.
David wrapped his arms around both of them.
"I gave Henry up because of him." Emma whispered. "I mean, I did give Henry up for his best chance." She pulled out of the hug to face her parents. "I was alone, and I didn't have anyone, or any means to take care of him. I didn't want him to grow up in the system like I did, so I made sure he was adopted, but...but the main reason I gave Henry up was because Neal's betrayal made me believe that I was unworthy of love. I thought I was unfit to be a mother."
"Neal's a fucking asshole."
David and Emma both stared at Mary Margaret wide eyed.
"Well he is." She huffed. She looked at Emma. "You are worth so much more than that. What he did to you...that wasn't your fault. That was his, and I swear to God if I ever meet that bastard, he'll regret the day he was born."
David nodded in agreement.
"Hopefully, that day will never come." Emma said. "Like I said, I have no idea what happened to him, and he never knew about Henry. He's not even listed on Henry's birth certificate. There's no way he could find us."
"I should hope not." David growled.
Emma's lips twitched upwards at their overprotectiveness. She licked her lips, wiped the moisture from her eyes, before she spoke again. "What am I going to do about Killian?"
"Go to him." Mary Margaret said. "Tell him the truth, tell him why you lied. He loves you, Emma. He probably forgave you the moment he figured it all out."
She had a point.
"Okay." Emma nodded. "Look, I...Henry doesn't know anything. I didn't want him to know that his birth father was a bad guy. I...I lied to him too. So can we keep this between us, for now?"
"Do you think you'll ever tell him?" Mary Margaret asked.
"Someday." Emma said. "I'm just not ready to tell him yet. I want to spare him the heartbreak I had, just for a little while longer."
Her parents nodded in understanding.
Emma gave them a small smile before heading back upstairs to get dressed. She had a pirate to go apologize to.
Killian was staring at the ceiling of his cabin when he heard footsteps above him.
His heart rate picked up, hoping that it was Emma.
He hadn't gone back to the loft last night, because he hadn't been sure that he was welcome back. So he remained on the Jolly, sleeping here for the night.
Though he had planned to go by the florist and get some flowers for Emma, before heading home to apologize for lying about Will and for pushing the issue of Neal.
The cabin door opened with hesitance.
His eyes flicked to Emma's when she stepped into the room.
"Hey." She greeted quietly.
"Hey."
She bit her lower lip, before walking to the end of the bed.
Killian sat up.
"You didn't come home last night." Her tone sounded a little broken.
Guilt tugged at his chest. He crawled to the end of the bed, taking her hand in his, placing a kiss on her knuckles. "I'm sorry, love. I just...I wasn't sure you wanted me to come home."
Emma wrapped her arms around his neck. "I always want you to come home."
He nodded, small smile on his lips. "Okay, I'll remember that for future reference."
She let out a breathless chuckle. Her face fell, expression becoming somber. "I'm sorry I lied to you. I just...I don't know why I did."
As she choked up, Killian pulled her onto the bed with him, moving them so that they were lying back against the pillows. "Shh, sweetheart, it's all right."
"It's not." She shook her head. "I hurt you."
"Emma, it's okay." He insisted, wiping away her tears. "It's okay."
"But it's really not." Emma continued. "You were the first person I ever told about Neal. I had no reason to lie to you."
"Perhaps, you were still trying to protect yourself." He suggested. "The curse had just broken, and we were dealing with a new dynamic to our relationship. Perhaps, at that moment, you still weren't entirely sure about trusting me."
"That's no excuse." Emma said. "Especially since I could've told you the truth any time. And dammit, why can't I stop crying?"
"Hormones?" Killian jokingly suggested.
"Ass." She pouted, smacking his arm lightly.
"Aye, but I'm your ass." Killian laughed. "You're stuck with me."
Her expression became serious. "I really do love you, you know."
His smile warmed her heart. He pulled her close, tucking her into his side. "I love you, too."
"Can we make a promise to each other?"
"Anything." He nodded.
She looked into his eyes, relaxing into him, but still keeping her tone serious. "No more secrets, or lies. We tell each other everything. Complete honesty."
He held her gaze, blue eyes ever so intense. "As you wish."
The baby book stuff came for an actual book that I found googling. It's on Amazon, with the Look Inside preview: 100,000 + BABY NAMES:The Most Complete Baby Name Book by Bruce Lansky.
In the scene with Regina and Mary Margaret, the reason it's 46 years, is because we know Snow was ten when Daniel died, and because it's assumed/stated that Mary Margaret and Emma are the same age by a few months difference. So assuming that, Mary Margaret is 28 when the curse is cast (therefore it's been 18 years since Daniel's death) then the curse is cast, so it's another 28 years. So 46.
Review with questions/PM for spoilers.
Until next time my lovelies. :)
