This is not the next episode, neither the actual Christmas special. This last month has been very busy, in the good way, but busy nonetheless. So, I only have six pages of the actual next episode, so, yeah XD
Still, it felt weird not having a Christmas special for this, so I decided to write this at last hour.
Eliza undid her ponytail and put the tie on the nightstand. She made sure she had alarm set on for tomorrow and then lied down on the bed with a yawn. She opened her eyes immediately when she felt something – rather, someone – lying next to her.
"Alexander?" she said, turning around to face her husband. "What're you doing? It's not even midnight"
"Tomorrow the kids start they holidays. I need to wake up to watch them" he excused himself, barely casting her a glare.
Eliza cocked one eyebrow, not believing him for one minute. "Alright…" she conceded, though. "Night, then" she said, lowering her head to press a kiss to Alex's cheek.
"Night, hun" he replied, closing his eyes and trying to sleep like a normal person for once.
Eliza yawned again and turned around to her original position. The silence hung above the couple for a moment, until the woman talked again.
"Alex?"
"Hm?"
"Are you going to abandon us?"
That provoked the other half of the mattress to shake for how fast the man sat up: "FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ELIZA!" he shouted, not minding about the hour at all. "All our fucking marriage pestering me about going to sleep early and now you go and say that bullshit?!"
Eliza blinked a couple of times, just looking at him over her shoulder. "Man, that's exactly why I'm worried. You never do it"
"Well, now I want to! Can't you be happy instead of coming up with those fucking theories, you sick-minded!"
"Jesus, alright, alright, sorry!" she ended up matching his voice volume. "Mother of God!"
"My own wife, shooting where it hurts the most. Shameless…"
"I said sorry!"
"You can throw a match into the forest, make a big fire and then fix it with a sorry!"
"SHUT UP, I WANNA SLEEP!" complained Peggy from her room.
"Then, close your eyes and go to fucking sleep!" ordered Alexander, starting to be red in the face.
"Alexander, stop the swearing!" condemned Eliza.
"Bah" The Caribbean turned to his side of the bed, wrapped himself till the chin with the blanket and then started to mutter under his breath another round of insults. "I can't even complain in my own fucking house though they throw strong accusations to me. Fuck it"
Eliza sighed with tedium. "I'm the one who can't even talk in here" she complained through greeted teeth and went to sleep, the whispers of her husband lulling her somehow.
Alexander knew Eliza loved Christmastime, it made her inner child to be born stronger than ever. Which always did their children good, because Alexander lacked it. The holidays, in juxtaposition of his joyful wife, gave him a sense of sadness and melancholy he never understood, even he was very young. He had learnt to roll with it, as he grew up with almost nobody by his side to spend the holidays with and by the time he had, he was too used to feel like this without explanation.
He was used to be Eliza the one doing the Christmas shopping, prepare the tree and decorations, plan the dinner, the games, wrap the majority of the presents and a long etcetera. He helped her with what he could, but Eliza did it better and more naturally, so she ended up doing most of the job without they realising.
That year, though, things had to be different. Now that his wife had a job, the Christmas spirit had struck her without any chance to be let out. It was clear Eliza was happy with her new job, but missed doing the task and, knowing the way Alexander was, decided not to push it and go along with whatever may be.
But Alexander was a self-starter. And a planner. Things that had cost him several critics he always ignored, because he knew it could be a flaw as well as a virtue. And that last month of the year, he was resolute to make it the second. Without Eliza knowing, he'd made a list of presents people around him had commented on wanting, he had all the decorations and the tree located inside their attic and had put his own alarm for a bit after Eliza would be gone to work to be able to wake up early and rested enough to go to the shop to buy a good dinner to have that night to celebrate the upcoming Christmas – and practice when the actual day arrived.
It was all sorted out and it was going to go perfectly according to plan.
Or so he thought.
Alexander didn't have notion of the world until he was shaken by tiny and insisting hands.
"Dad, Daddy, Dad!" called a childish and frustrated voice.
He opened his eyes, his glare slowly coming to focus. He was met with the sight of his three children. Angie was looking directly at him, a frown on her face, while Philip cocked an eyebrow as he held their baby brother, who had a curious expression.
"Dad, we're hungry" complained the little girl.
Alexander rubbed one eye. "Wait until it's breakfast time. The sun's not even up yet…"
"But if it's two in the afternoon already" whined Angie.
To prove his sister's point, Philip opened the curtains and let the sun in. Alexander blinked and narrowed his eyes at first, then took his phone and saw that it was the hour his daughter had said. It cost him a moment to accept it. And when he did, he had no other thing than say than:
"Oh, for fuck's sake!"
He decided to make them a few sandwiches, because John's milk was going to take him long enough. Alexander tapped his foot impatiently until the milk was heated, not stopping to look at his watch.
"Mum never gives us sandwiches for lunch" condemned Philip, though eating with gusto.
"If you want your mother to be happy tonight, you're gonna eat that and stop complaining" retorted his father, grabbing the cup instead of the handle and so burning his hand. "Fucking hell!"
The cup and bottle in it fell to the floor, staining it with hot milk. Baby John looked at it and started laughing.
"That's your lunch, you idiot" said Philip, unmoved.
The baby seemed to understand his brother, for he looked at the mess his father started to clean while complaining in a grumble and then began to cry louder than he'd laughed.
"Philip, don't make your brother cry!" condemned Alexander, throwing the wet cloth to the trash.
"Motherfucker" insulted Angie, whacking him in the back of the head.
"Angie, where did you…?!" began to reprimand Alexander, until he stopped in his tracks. "Oh, right… Don't tell your mother I said that"
Peggy chose that moment to come in, stretching out.
"Morning, family" she drawled, sleepily.
"Afternoon, at much…" said Philip, finishing his sandwich.
"Why isn't the kitchen smelling like food?" she complained, eyes narrowed.
"Because the fucking phone didn't ring when it should've and now I'm late to everything" explained Alexander, grumpily.
"Ah, yes, I turned that off" she revealed.
"… Excuse me?"
"You forgot to do it yourself"
"Why would I do that?!"
"Because we're on vacation already. We don't need to wake up early"
"I did! I wanted to have all prepared for before Betsey arrived!"
"Ah… Well, you still have time until the 24th"
"No! I wanted to surprise her tonight! You know she loves to have a pre-Christmas to have it all settled!" He buried his face in his hands, groaning.
"But you still have time until the…" tried to repeat Peggy, not seeing where the drama was.
"Don't come to me with that! You just fucked my whole planned day up, you motherfucker!" He looked at his children, a bit guiltily. "Your aunt makes me say nasty things"
"So, we can say them if she makes us? Nice" said Philip, with a naughty smile.
Peggy rolled her eyes. "The last time I've got a detail with anyone in here"
"Let's see if that's fucking true!" Alexander grimaced when the baby started sobbing again, hitting his chair. "Coming, John!"
The doorbell rang just when Alexander was about to make another bottle. He groaned loudly as he made his way to the front door.
"We don't want anything, now leave the way you came if you don't want to appear in the next obituary" he said as he swung the front door open.
"Good afternoon to you too" replied Philip Sr from the doorway.
Alexander made a face. "I won't change the sentence"
"Really, this is why I didn't want to come in the first place" groaned the older man, a hand on his forehead.
"Why did you even come, then?"
"You asked it" said his father-in-law, arching one eyebrow.
"Me? When?" asked Alexander, in surprise and disbelief.
"Just yesterday" said Peggy, walking to be by his side. "When I asked you if you wanted help with the tree, and you said: 'Yes, and your father's help too'"
"That was sarcasm!" Alexander put his hands at both sides of his face. "For Christ's sake, you don't even know what sarcasm is either?!"
"How am I going to know if you don't change your tone!" she complained back.
"Well, let me in, it's cold…" said Philip Sr, about to step in.
"Yeah, right now" said Alexander, closing the front door in his noses. "That's me being sarcastic. Seems I have to say now" he explained, begrudgingly. He walked in the living room. "Make John his bottle, I'm gonna get ready to buy dinner!"
The doorbell began to ring and the door was knocked at the same time, insistently.
"Don't open!" shouted Alexander from his bedroom.
"He's not gonna stop!" warned Peggy.
"He will tire out eventually!"
Philip Sr didn't tire out until the door was again opened half an hour later, when everybody was ready to leave. He smirked down at his son-in-law.
"Knew you'd gave in"
"In your dreams. We're just leaving to grocery shopping" retorted Alexander, passing him by and walking directly to the car.
"To which store?" he asked, following the group.
"To the one we liked the most" replied Alexander, ambiguously.
Philip Sr took the car keys from him. "Let me drive you"
"Sir…"
"I was called to help, now don't let me here standing like an idiot"
"Fix that with your daughter…"
"Let him come, Dad" chimed in Philip.
"Thank you, kid. You were my favourite grandchild for a reason" nodded the old man, gaining a dirty look from the boy's siblings.
"He's a sad man that's alone in Christmastime" continued the kid, making the adults and other kids to contain their laughter. Philip Sr simply sat at the driver's seat, a grumpy expression on his face.
"You're not gonna find a parking spot" repeated Peggy for the zillionth time.
"Yes, I will" responded Philip Sr, stubbornly.
"That man over there greeted us" pointed out Angie.
"It's the fifth time already" added Philip.
"It's the valet" explained Alexander, boringly. "He works parking cars"
"I don't need them to park my car" said Philip Sr, noticing the hint.
"It's mine, actually"
"Whatever. I know how to park a car"
"There's no place to park!" insisted Peggy.
"I'm bored" whined Angie.
"Turn the fucking radio on" spat the grandparent.
"I can't, Dad threw it out of the window the other day" accused the girl.
"Oh, yes, tell that part of the story, not all the pestering you and your brother made because you couldn't stop pushing the fucking buttons in the middle of that jam" recalled Alexander.
"You have anger issues, admit it" chimed in Peggy.
"I don't have anger issues, you seem to love to see me angry"
"You can't accept…"
"I need to go to the loo"
"All the fucking times, Angelica!"
"Why do you complain? You're just the same!"
"Even the kid knows"
"Everyone is against me in this family!"
"Go to your own fucking house already!"
"You invited her over"
"Which side are you on?!"
"To the one I think to be right in the moment!"
"I need to go to the loo!"
"If you don't stop with the whining, I'll buy you diapers like your brother!"
"Dad, your baby is pulling on my hair!"
"My baby is your brother!"
"I never asked for one, I wanted a little sister! And I even regret that!"
"Hey!"
"Well, I didn't want any of you and I'm putting up with it!"
"Alexander, you're not supposed to say that!"
"Do you know that for experience?"
"You're so cruel! I'm gonna tattle to Eliza!"
"I need the loo!"
"Angie, wait until we're parked!"
"The man is still waving at us…"
"I need to go too now…"
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Peggy!"
"Dad, let the valet park the car, it's an emergency!"
"We still have to put that tree and the lights"
"Fucking family always making me run to do things at last hour"
"Why can't we dine pizza? We lunched sandwiches!"
"No! I want a proper dinner for when your mother comes back!"
"I don't know why she's still coming back"
"Philip, if you keep going on with that attitude, Santa will give you no presents!"
"Eacker says Santa is the parents"
"I'm gonna tell that son of a bitch's parents a few things in the next reunion, I swear to God…"
"What's this smell?"
"Daddy, John pooped"
"And he laughs and all…"
"Someone roll down the fucking window"
"If you don't stop right now, I'm gonna do the same!"
"Angelica, you won't have any presents either!"
"You'll have my own, don't worry"
"Peggy, don't discredit me in front of my children"
"We should've stayed home"
"I totally agree. It's a fucking pain only to stand you back at home everyday"
"Didn't Washington give you the keys to the office? Go live there, we'll thank you"
Philip Sr's grip in the wheel became stronger and stronger until his knuckles were ghostly white. All of a sudden, something snapped inside his head and he simply turned around, the tires screeching.
"To the hell!" he shouted, as he parked right beside the entrance of the mall. "To the freaking hell already!"
"Dad, we can't park here. It's for the handicap" pointed out Peggy.
"Keep pushing me and one of you it's gonna use that for the rest of their lives" threatened the man.
The sun was about to go down by the time the family stepped out the building, a cart filled with several things.
"Coming in for five things and walking out with half the mall bought" complained Alexander, looking at his watch. "You'll have to keep your mother busy until the dinner's finished"
"And the tree?" asked Angie.
"Leave that to me" said Philip Sr, smugly. "I used to do that all the holidays when your mother and aunts were younger"
"True, and you were bitching about your marriage five minutes later" recalled Peggy, with a sided smile.
Philip Sr's retort was interrupted when his namesake said: "Oh-oh"
The family stopped a few feet away from where they'd parked the car. A police officer was fiving them a ticket while a man on crutches, that was red in the face, screamed obscenities against the owner of the car. They all stepped backwards when the man hit the car with one of the crunches.
"There's not right that a son of a bitch uses this and leaves me with nothing, officer!"
"Alright, calm down, let's wait until they show up and we can solve this on good manners" soothed the office, also taken aback by the violent demeanour.
"If I grab them, I'll give them a beating they'll never forget!" swore the man.
"Told you we couldn't park there" muttered Peggy.
"Shut up" said Philip Sr, paling considerably.
"Why don't you apologise?" proposed Angie.
"Kid, that is not an adorable crippled you watch on TV. If that man grabs you, he leaves worse than he is" explained Philip Sr.
"I've got an idea" said Philip, looking at the adults innocently.
"If it's admitting our mistake and take the ticket…" began Philip Sr.
"No, no"
"Go ahead, then"
"Sure?"
"Kid, we've got no more time to lose" hurried his father.
"Alright" he shrugged. "Are you seeing that exit?" he asked, pointing at their backs.
"Yes" they all said.
"Good, go over there"
"And the car?" asked Angie.
"Go over there" he insisted. When he saw his family walking to the pedestrian exit, he turned to the officer and cupped both hands around his mouth. "Hey, I saw this stranger parking there before, officer!" he accused, pointing at his grandparent.
"Son of a bitch!" cursed Philip Sr, stopping in his tracks in shock.
"Now, run!" hissed the kid, running to the rest of the family.
They all ran to the exit, casting nervous glares at Philip Sr, who shrunk on spot and the officer and the man walked over him.
Philip Sr didn't arrive at the house until dinner was almost ready. He walked into the kitchen, sending daggers towards Alexander's direction. The Caribbean barely looked at him as he kept cooking.
"Was waiting for a phone call made from some cell" admitted Alexander.
Philip Sr didn't talk, just let the ticket on the table.
"You'll pay that" said Alexander, sternly.
The man casted him another hateful glare. "Betsey should've married Elijah, the architect"
Alexander hit the counter with the spoon. "What the hell does that have to do with this?! I didn't park the car or accuse you!"
"But I haven't told you today!" was the man's excuse, as he walked into the living room.
"Dad, come, we were about to light up the tree!" welcomed Peggy.
Philip Sr looked disgustedly at how well-decorated the whole place was. His nose was scrunched up as his eyes landed on the tree, which lights were put on by his daughter and grandchildren.
"Thank you for waiting for me…" he said, sarcastically.
"Betsey's about to come, so we needed to hurry" excused Peggy.
"Whatever… Let me do that…" he said, taking the lights away from his daughter's grip.
"It's almost done"
"You made me lose my time here, let me light the tree!"
"Alright, alright…"
Philip Sr put the last couple of lights on, turned to the outlet and plugged it. Nothing happened.
"We have to turn them on with the button" explained Angie.
"What button?" asked Philip Sr, rubbing his temples in annoyance.
"The one that's on the wire" said Philip.
"You mean the wire that's behind the tree and the TV table?"
"Yep"
"Why it doesn't surprise me…"
The door was heard being opened, and the kids immediately ran to it, wanting to keep their mother out of the living room until everything were in order. Eliza cocked an eyebrow at them talking at the same time.
"Alright, alright, kids, please" she said, almost beggingly. "I've been hearing children all day, give me a moment and I'll pay attention to you" she said, walking to the kitchen direction as they were blocking the other door. She stopped abruptly when she saw her husband putting dinner on the table. "What's this?" she asked, with a tiny smile.
Alexander smiled and went to her. "Happy pre-Christmas week" he said, peeking her cheek.
"Alex, you didn't have to…"
"Yes, we did"
"Did it!" celebrated Philip Sr from the living room.
"Is that my father?" she asked, beyond shocked, trotting to the living room.
They were greeted by Peggy holding baby John, who applauded his grandfather. Philip Sr took a few steps back from the shining tree. He looked at the doorframe, smugly. He was about to hug his middle daughter when he felt the wire tangled around his ankle, which made him fall on his noses, the tree falling on his back and the lights flickering a few times until they turned off.
There was a heavy silence in the living room until Eliza started laughing cheerfully. She went to her father's aid, who was also giggling. The whole living room joined the two of them.
The kids were already on their bedrooms, Peggy had gone to sleep right after having dinner and Philip Sr had collapsed on the couch. Eliza put a blanket over him and went to sit back beside her husband, both with half full glasses of wine.
"I wasn't expecting any of this" she whispered.
"That was why it was a surprise" shrugged Alexander. He frowned at the still fallen tree. "I'll fix that tomorrow…"
"And where's the car?"
"… I'll fix that tomorrow"
Eliza giggled and held his hand in hers, just enjoying the company. She started to tell him about her day and he did just as much, causing her to contain her laughter, not wanting to wake her exhausted father up. And, in that moment, there was no other place she'd rather be.
Hope you had a nice Christmas!
