A/N: Again I apologize for the extremely long wait. I'm fully focusing on this story now because I'm done with the NCIS fandom and their viciousness. I hope you enjoy this update :) Thanks for reading!
Kathryn had just been about to call it a night when she was summoned to Sick Bay. She was met outside by Sarah and Kes. "What's going on?"
Sarah glanced over her shoulder, briefly. "Commander Tuvok decided to go ahead with the mind meld when Mister Sudor got out of control in the brig earlier this evening. Security called me down there before Tuvok arrived, but by the time I arrived, he had already performed the meld."
"Were there complications to the meld?" Kathryn asked.
"We're not entirely sure yet. There has been some signs of damage to his brain, but nothing too severe, yet" Kes replied honestly. "He's been acting strange, however."
"Strange? What do you mean by strange?"
"Like he's having trouble controlling his emotions. He's having...violent outbursts...making derogatory comments about the crew, especially you and your decisions, ma'am."
Kathryn rocked back on her heels. She had never heard Tuvok say a bad word about anyone in the time that she had known him. "Do you think this is a side effect of the mind meld, Lieutenant?"
Sarah nodded. "Yes. When he melded with Sudor their thoughts became one, Sudor's violent thoughts and urges were then passed onto Tuvok. Mister Sudor has suddenly been able to control his emotions and urges, it as if the violent thoughts inside of his mind have been purged. He's still going to need therapy, however, I don't think we need to worry about any more violence from him. Captain, this is why the Doctor and I were highly against this form of treatment."
Kes swallowed a lump in her throat. "The Doctor fears that he's going to suffer severe neurological damage if we don't proceed with a treatment."
"And what treatment does recommend?" Kathryn asked.
"Another mind meld," Sarah replied. "If we were back home, we would ask one of his family members..."
"But considering we're not, what are our alternatives?"
Sarah glanced at Kes before answering the Captain. "He requested you, ma'am. You're his closest friend on the ship and it's probably the next best thing to a family member."
Kathryn took a deep breath. She was honored that Tuvok thought of her so highly, however, the thought of a mind meld made her a little uneasy. What if there were complications for both her and Tuvok? What would happen to the crew? To her children? She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "When does the Doctor wish to proceed?"
Kes looked, quickly, at Sarah. "As soon as possible, Captain."
"Let me... let me just make arrangements for... the children..." Kathryn said, softly, anxiously.
"I can go, Captain," Sarah offered.
"Alright," Kathryn breathed, "since that's settled, let's get this done and over with."
Tom located Sarah in Captain Janeway's quarters, helping Ava get back to sleep. He stood by, watching as the young woman gently rubbed the little girl's back, singing a French lullaby to her. "Sarah," he said, as they sat on the Captain's couch, thinking of the baby she had lost earlier that year, "you are going to make a great mom someday."
Sarah smiled, sadly at him. "Maybe. Someday."
"You don't want to have kids?" Tom asked.
"If we were back home-yes, I would love to have kids," Sarah replied, honestly. "But out here... life is dangerous."
He ran his fingers through her hair. Tom had never thought about having kids, not until he had met her and when she had been pregnant with Casius' child, he had been more than willing to help her raise that child. Still, she had a point... "If people do not have children on this trip... we'll never make it home."
She rested her head against his shoulder, listening to the sounds of the ship for a few moments. "Michael has appointed us his godparents, so if anything happens to Captain Janeway... we will be parents.'
Tom chuckled. "Should I be terrified he picked us?"
Sarah laughed. "Maybe."
"What are you going to do with Sudor?" he asked, changing the subject.
"I don't know. If Tuvok's against-orders mind meld worked, Sudor still killed someone, still tried to kill me," she replied.
"Ever heard of Betazoids having violent tendencies like this?"
"Yes, there are a few cases where they couldn't control their empathetic abilities. I read up on it when I found out about my mother."
Tom played with her soft hair. "Do you think the Captain will show him some leniency? Since, perhaps, it wasn't all in his control."
Sarah shrugged. "She's surprised me before, so I wouldn't be surprised if she did. I don't think he'll be rejoining the crew, though."
"No. We've had enough problems with rogue Marquis."
"Who else has gone rogue besides Seska?"
He swallowed nervously. Tom knew he could not let it slip that he was investigating a spy onboard the ship. Janeway and Tuvok wanted it that way because neither was sure who he could trust. "No one that I know of. Unless you know something that I don't..."
She looked at up him suspiciously. What was he hiding from her? "I do not. Tom, what's going on? You've been...well... rather secretive with me lately. I thought we promised not to keep secrets?"
Tom looked away, tightening his grip on her. "No secrets; just having a lot of thoughts lately, that's all."
Sarah still wasn't convinced. "Do you want to talk about any of those thoughts?"
"You really want to dig that deeply into my mind?"
"Well... it is part of my job as ship's counselor."
He softly laughed and kissed her. "I love you."
She smiled sweetly at him. "I love you, too."
Tom's expression turned serious. He knew she was still waiting for him to spill his guts, but he just couldn't tell her. Harry said he had an intense obsession with keeping Sarah safe, and maybe that was true. Briefly, he wondered how much damage was going to be done to their relationship once everything was all said and done. "When we get a free moment, maybe we should go shoot some pool at Sandrine's."
"A free moment? When was the last time any of us had a free moment?"
"Feels like months."
He tightened his hold on her. As hard as their life was out here in the Delta Quadrant, Tom wouldn't trade it in. He was getting everything he ever wanted back home, the love of his life, a good job, respect of his colleagues...
Michael appeared in the living room, rubbing his eyes. "Sarah? Where's my mom?"
Sarah sat up and pat the sofa. "She's in sickbay helping the Doctor."
"With what?" Michael asked sitting with Tom and Sarah.
"The Doctor needed her to help Tuvok," Sarah answered him, honestly. "Don't worry, both your mother and Tuvok are going to be fine."
"Are you and Tom staying here tonight?"
"Yes. Is that okay?"
Michael shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, it's fine. I wish Mama would tell me when she was leaving though. I don't get a good feeling in my tummy when I wake up and she's not here."
Sarah gestured for the little boy to join them on the sofa. Michael climbed into her lap and let her hug him. "My dad used to vanish late at night too; scared me every time that he did it, but he didn't do it to be mean, he just thought about the job he had to do. Your mother has a very important job and sometimes, she can only think about that. She doesn't mean to make your tummy feel not so good."
Tom gently reached out and rubbed Michael's shoulder. "Your mother really does love you, bud. I bet she gives you a big hug when she comes back later. Come on, how about I read you a story?"
"Okay," the little boy reluctantly agreed. "If Mama comes back before I fall asleep, will you tell her I want to see her?"
"Sure," Sarah replied with a smile, "I'll let her know."
Michael returned to his room with Tom and Sarah fell back onto the sofa. She leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. She was tired but it was probably not good for the baby-sitter to fall asleep on the sofa...
Tom returned a few moments later and wrapped his arm around her. Gently, he kissed her cheek, and slowly they both drifted off to sleep.
"Commander Tuvok is going to make a full recovery," Kathyrn informed Chakotay as they walked back to her quarters. "He suggests confinement for Sudor."
"Sudor hasn't been a problem in the brig," Chakotay said. "I don't have a problem putting him under house arrest in his quarters."
Kathryn nodded in agreement. "I told Tuvok that he should seek permission before anymore mind melds. The Doctor suggests that Sudor and Tuvok practice a meditation regime for the foreseeable future."
Chakotay's face grew concerned. "I'm sure Tuvok will take the Doctor's advice, but what about Sudor? Who's going to be in charge of making sure he's following it? Since the Doctor can't leave sickbay, I wouldn't want to put Kes in a dangerous situation and since Sudor has already tried to kill Sarah once..."
"Then we send Sarah in with a security detail," Kathryn replied. She smiled, whimsically then. "Or Tom."
"Paris is overwhelmingly protective of her," Chakotay mused.
"Can you blame him?" the Captain questioned.
"No," Chakotay replied with a shake of his head. "Not after everything that Sarah has been through."
Kathryn stopped outside her quarters. "Have the senior staff convene at zero nine hundred hours; everyone else needs to be brought up to speed on what happened with Tuvok and Sudor."
Chakotay nodded. "Are you sure you don't want to get some sleep before reporting to the Bridge?"
"I've left Sarah and Tom with the kids long enough."
"Doesn't sound like anyone is giving them any trouble."
She grinned. "It's the silence you have to be weary of."
He chuckled and turned to go. "I'll see you on the Bridge."
Kathryn punched in her code to enter her quarters. When she stepped inside both Sarah and Tom were dressed for the day, and the kids were sitting at the table eating breakfast. "I see you two have everything under control," she said with a cheeky smile.
Sarah and Tom exchanged a tentative glance. "We weren't sure when you were coming back, Captain," Tom replied, "Just wanted to make sure that the kids were fed before school."
"You're not in trouble, Mr. Paris," Kathryn said with a chuckle. "I appreciate the help as I'm sure you found out, mornings are not easy around here."
"They were...busy," Sarah offered.
"Consider it practice for when you have your own children," Kathryn told them, rounding up her kids and dismissing Sarah and Tom, "and if this is any indication, I'd say you're going to be great parents."
After a rather uneventful day, Tom and Sarah found themselves back in her quarters, having just enjoyed a late night glass of wine. It was the only thing that would wash away the horrific taste of dinner.
Tom idly ran his fingers through her hair, thinking about what Janeway had said earlier that day, the events of the past week. It had been one hell of a roller coaster and he was glad that they had emerged unscathed. "Do you think we'll have a baby someday?" he asked, breaking the silence.
Sarah looked at him puzzled. "A baby? Why are you asking about a baby?"
"Just thinking about what Captain Janeway said earlier, you know about us being great parents."
"Guess I haven't really thought about it."
He studied her for a second, taking a deep breath. "You mean you haven't thought about it that much since the abortion..."
She tensed. They very rarely spoke about her sexual assault, her subsequent pregnancy and then the abortion of that pregnancy. "It still hurts too much to think about it."
Tom kissed her cheek gently. "When you're ready to talk about it, I'll be ready. I want to have a family with you, but only when you think it's time. I don't want to push you, Sarah."
Sarah eased into his arms. "I want to have a family with you too, how about we leave it at that?"
"Alright," Tom sighed, happily. At least they both agreed they wanted the same thing someday. "I can live with that."
"If we have a baby... whose quarters are we going to live in?"
"Yours. They're bigger."
"And you have less stuff to move."
Tom chuckled. "Well, yeah. As a convicted felon, I wasn't allowed to bring a lot of things with me...and I didn't have a lot of belongings to begin with."
Sarah closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep. "I like those future plans. I'm glad we're making them."
"Yeah," Tom said, happily, "me too."
