She said good-bye to Ruby and stepped inside her library, trying to forget the conversation they'd had before she'd gone as she made her way up the steps to her small apartment. He was expecting her for lunch, as they'd agreed last night, but it had been a long morning, frankly last night hadn't been any easier. She needed him now, she needed a few comforting hours with him before beginning her chores or doing anything, she needed to sit with him in the silence as he held her for a bit, telling her everything was alright. Whether it was lunchtime or not she was going to go over first thing, but first she wanted to change, to rid herself of all that had happened in the last twelve hours. Not only the sadness of the funeral, but all the stares and all the comments from those that she knew.
Was there something to worry about? Or was it just Ruby looking out for her friend?. She would like to think she was just concerned, that he had truly changed this time that he would never hurt her again! But she knew that it was silly to believe in fairy tales. She was in love with the Dark One and she imagined that ever being absolutely positive about his loyalties was the price they would pay for the magic within him. But she would still pay it, over and over again if she had to. She would rather that than have someone kill him and steal his power. And, frankly, she wouldn't sacrifice all the good times they had together, all the wonderful feelings they created, just for the possibility of something going wrong. Whether she liked it or not they were bound together...they needed each other too much to be apart. Living in separate places after all that had changed since she'd left was nearly too much as it was.
She sighed as she shook her head and worked her gloves off her hand. She took off her hat and shook her coat from her body a little too furiously as she found a hanger to put it away. It was useless thinking about all this, dwelling on facts and emotions that she knew were never going to change. She should focus on what had changed, on what she knew could because he was different than when she'd left. He was a good man and he loved her, that was all she needed to be sure of, the rest would follow in time.
Suddenly a strange noise chirped from the pocket of the coat she'd just hung up. She jumped and stared at it in confusion for a moment, before clarity washed over her. The phone! She dug into the pocket and pulled out the little black cell phone that he had gotten her. The black box chirped again and she glanced uselessly, noting the name "Gold" written on the tiny screen in blocked text. Suddenly her nerves lit up. Why was he calling when they were so close to having lunch? Something must be wrong!
"Rumple?!" she answered anxiously, fearing the worst, already preparing to run next door.
"Belle! Can you come over to the shop? I need to tell you something, now. I..I…I am sorry but it's too important to tell you over the phone! I want to show you!" The words poured out of his mouth all at once. He sounded out of breath but she couldn't tell if it was out of excitement or worry. It made her nervous and everything that had happened, everything that she'd been feeling, suddenly vanished at his request.
"Yes," she agreed reaching for her keys. "Yes of course," she said closing the door behind her and hurrying down the stairs and into the library. She didn't even bother with her coat. "I'll be right over," she said before closing the phone.
She hurried across the street, suddenly happy that his shop was so close. Nothing seemed out of place, she assumed with the amount of excitement in his voice if something was wrong the world would appear like the world was ending and there would be fire in the sky not rain. She was fairly certain it was good news, he would have told her if something really was wrong, and he certainly wouldn't summon her if there was danger in the shop. But she just couldn't allow her mind to ease until she got to him.
Finally she crashed through the unlocked door of his shop, breathless, and found him waiting for her behind the counter. A book was out but he hadn't even made an attempt to open it and keep himself busy as he waited. He was beaming at her. "What, uh, what's wrong that you couldn't tell me on the phone?" she asked, as she tried to catch her breath and looked around the rest of the shop. Order. Why had he summoned her so quickly? What couldn't wait?!
"I did it," he whispered over the countertop, his smirk turning into a smile, "I can leave." The smile was contagious as she realized what he was telling her. It wasn't bad news, it was great news!
"You can cross the town line?!" she clarified, happy and amazed.
"Indeed I can!" he confirmed, with a certain amount of pride in his expression. Not the bad arrogance that he possessed and owned so well, but rather the type of pride that came from accomplishing something he had worked really hard at. She couldn't help it, she was proud of him too! Magic could be used for all kinds of things; a taste of what good magic could do was good for him!
Suddenly, he reached over and pulled a vial of clear liquid out of what looked like a literal black bag of tricks. "When I pour this potion onto the object that I hold most dear," he explained, showing it to her, "that object becomes a talisman. It allows me to cross the town line and still remember who I am!"
"And who you're looking for," she added.
"My boy!" he finished with a hint of relief in his voice. She wasn't surprised to find it etched into his face along with genuine happiness. His smile alone made a lump rise and catch in her throat. To say she was happy for him didn't even begin to describe what she felt. And his emotions?! They had to be overwhelming him! It had to feel strange, to have more than one lifetime of build up, years and decades of planning and scheming and now to finally have that within reach, it was finally real! It was unbelievable!
"What..." she asked, reaching for his hand as she tried to get her thoughts in order, "what will you enchant?"
"Well..." he immediately turned to the safe he kept hidden behind a painting and pulled out a tan piece of cloth that she'd caught only a glimpse of once before. "This shawl is all I have left of my Baelfire," he informed her sadly. She reached out and touched the delicate fabric in his hands and suddenly realized...it felt familiar! It looked familiar! She'd seen it before, not just that flash of it when they'd hidden the dagger! It was aged but well preserved, whether by magic or just by care she couldn't tell, but this was the cloth that he'd had in the castle! The time that he'd lit a candle for a mysterious "he" that had been lost. It had been Baelfire he was mourning alone that night! Alone...
A thought dawned on her suddenly, one she'd never considered before because they'd been focused on just getting across the town line, but now she couldn't help her curiosity. He could leave...what about her? "I don't suppose..." she began gently, "I could come with you...?" she asked hopefully, wondering if he didn't need to go through the rest of this journey by himself. But his face fell the moment she asked the question and she knew the answer before he gave it.
"No..." he shook his head, struggling to find the right words. "I truly wish you could...but I only have enough of this potion for one object." She nodded and understood. She'd seen the amount he had and trusted he was telling the truth, but she couldn't help but feel sad as she watched him lock the precious object way. She'd miss him, just like she missed him every day, every moment she wasn't with him. But this wasn't an ending...it was a beginning! And though he might be away for a while, she knew that he would come back! Bae wasn't the only important person in his life, not any more.
"Hey...this is my journey, Belle!" he said trying to lighten her spirits as he moved around the table so nothing would be between them. "This is my journey...and I'm afraid this is something I have to do alone." The look in his eye saddened her. She wanted to see him happy again and not looking like he was torn between the two people he loved most in the world. There would be time in the future, she reminded herself, to travel and see the world, but first he had to find Baelfire. For once it was him that was going to be the hero, and that took more bravery than he really knew!
So she smiled and wrapped her arms around him as she'd wanted to do since she'd left the night before. "I know," she squeezed, hoping this "journey" would be a quick one. He wasn't leaving for good, but it seemed like this becoming something of a habit that they'd fallen into. They were together for a short time and then separated, together and then apart. Were they forever doomed to have a few brief moments of happiness before always being separated? Was it this way for everyone? Or just them?
She pulled away as a clock behind them struck the half hour. No, she had him now. And now he knew how important she was to him. It wasn't like last time when he would have given her up for Bae, he wanted both of them and he would come back for her, she was certain. No matter what the cost they would always be together again, and until the moment they were apart, she just wanted to be by his side.
"We should celebrate," she insisted with a smile. "I'll finish my chores at the library early, you can drive us out to the town line and we'll test it...together." If she couldn't go with him she would at least do this with him. "Then we can go back to your house and we can talk about your plans over dinner."
He nodded eagerly at the altered plans and made arrangements to pick her up later that night, his smile unceasing. She kissed him and left the shop, sad to be away from him, but happy and looking forward to the rest of their day. But as she approached the library, as she turned the corner out of sight of the shop she suddenly found her heart sinking, and overwhelming fear pressing against her. It came so quickly that it stopped her in her tracks and stole the breath out of her lungs. She knew the reason Bae had left, it was the same reason she had left! But while she'd been around to work at their relationship, Baelfire hadn't. Rumpelstiltskin was looking forward to seeing his son, but she wondered if he had ever considered that his son wasn't looking forward to seeing him. She'd thought about the possibility before, but she'd never considered what would happen if she wasn't there to help him face it.
She sighed and leaned up against the white wall of her library, too consumed by her thoughts to move! What could she do? If she was going to be left behind, there had to be some way that she could help him through this! There had to be a way she could prepare for a happy outcome and an unhappy one as well. A way to show him that he wasn't alone no matter what happened...
The answer came to her clear as day and her future suddenly took shape fully formed in her head like it had been there for weeks, maybe it had been. She knew what she had to do, what she wanted to do. Even if she'd told herself only yesterday that it wasn't time.
She'd give him hope.
She'd give him something to look forward to.
She'd go home.
She'd return to his home tonight and stay until he left to find his son. She'd have to live here in town while he was gone, since she couldn't drive, but when he returned home, she would return to his home and...it would be theirs again! Maybe even more now than it ever had been the first time.
The reasons she had moved out no longer existed. He trusted her now, he told her things, and he knew how much she meant to him. There was no reason to be apart any more and she didn't want to! It was true, she couldn't trust that he'd never hurt her again in the future, but that was no reason to stay away from him forever. He'd worked hard, they'd worked hard, to make this a true relationship instead of just a bond and she was certain they had gone even farther than that in their separation. It was time to be with him again.
Excitement raced through her at the thought, drowning out all the fear and sorrow she'd felt only minutes ago. She'd tell him that night, after he crossed the town line, while they were having dinner! It was time. She was going home.
Oh...but she's not. And we all know why. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, that's still a few chapters away. As for the idea of Belle going back to live with him that was just something that stuck in my head ever since I watched 2x11. When Belle told him at the town line that she'd be waiting for him when he returned it just seemed like it was more a declaration of moving forward than staying where they were and I automatically assumed that's what she meant. I know, to a lot of people that is a big leap to take. But it's something I've held on to and the more I edit this series and reread this fiction in particular I just feel like it fits. These two have a relationship that is either all in or all out. At this point they are together and the fact that they are stuck in this rut of together but not really together...I just figured this was in character for Belle.
Peace and Happy Reading!
