AN: So my laptop died recently and I have no money to buy a new one

AN: So my laptop died recently and I have no money to buy a new one. It's causing a bit of a delay in the writing (this chapter was written beforehand)

I don't know if anyone reading this has actually given birth. If so and you find it totally unrealistic; apologies - I haven't done it myself. I did read a couple of pages of a medical journal on labour (and made myself entirely nauseous) for research. Part of this chapter was actually written a year and a half ago so it's nice to finally get it out there.
Do we have any ER fans reading? I couldn't help myself.

Please, please comment. I've been missing reviews during my recent writing drought.

Chapter 51: Baby

The drive to the hospital was tense. Tommy found himself constantly climbing above the speed limit and it was only Jude's scolding that would pull him back. His heart was pounding so heavily in his chest he could practically hear the beat echoing in his ears. About five or so minutes into the drive another contraction hit and Jude shrank back against the chair, her whole body tensing in pain.

"You okay?" he asked as he reached for her hand.

She nodded quickly. "Yes, yes. Please concentrate on driving."

He nodded and turned his attention back to the road.

"This is really happening," she murmured to herself, "That was like, six minutes right, between contractions? They said to get to the hospital when they came more regularly then seven but I thought there were big gaps before that happened."

"Maybe it's the stress?" he pointed out.

She groaned, "dinner with my family was not a good idea." She glanced around the interior of the car, "and neither was taking the Viper out tonight. I do not want my water to break in your car."

He laughed, "You think I care about that?"

She made a face, "Who are you and where did Tommy Quincy go?"

- - -

At the hospital there was a lot of fussing and chaos surrounding Jude. She was wheeled into the hospital in a wheelchair, moaning in pain as a new contraction hit. Tommy was held up at the front desk filling out insurance information. He felt a dull ache in his chest as Jude was wheeled away and disappeared out of sight.

He'd just handed the clipboard back to the clerk when a doctor in a white suit walked over to him. "Mr. Quincy?" she asked. When he nodded she continued, "Your wife has been taken into one of the pre-birth rooms. She isn't dilated enough to give birth just yet so at this point we're just waiting for things to progress. Come with me and I'll take you to her room."

"Um," he scratched the back of his neck nervously as he followed the confident doctor down the barren, white hallway. "Dr. Lockhart is it? Um, I'm not actually her birth partner… and we're not married either, just… dating."

She glanced sideways at him, and raised her eyebrows briefly as if she'd just appraised him and he'd come up short. "Mmhmm. Well the next stage of delivery can take a significant amount of time but I would recommend getting the birth partner here as soon as possible." She paused at a doorway. "Here we are. There's a buzzer by Jude's bed if you need me and a nurse will check in regularly."

He watched her walk away then took a fortifying breathe. The hallway seemed to contract around him, the polished floors reflected the walls in such detail it caused an almost kaleidoscope effect around him.

"Tommy?" Jude panted from within the room, "is that you?"

He forced a smile onto his face as he turned and walked into the room, "How are you doing?"

She leaned her head back against the pillow and exhaled, "I've been here five minutes and I'm already exhausted. They say with first babies the whole thing can take more then twenty-four hours."

Unable to think of anything useful to say he walked over to the side of the bed and took her hand in his comfortingly.

"Where you able to find Sadie?"

He shook his head, "I haven't had a chance to look yet. But your Mother said she was going to make some calls at the house then come here straight after. Hopefully she'll bring Sadie with her."

Jude nodded slowly, "hopefully," she echoed.

- - -

An hour into Jude's labor her contractions were coming a few minutes more regularly and she was now a couple of centimeters dilated. Her back was aching, she was sweating just enough to have that irritated sticky feeling and there was still no sign of Sadie.

She moaned in pain softly and Tommy leaned forward in his chair. "Is it another contraction?"

She shook her head, "Just my back. It's killing me."

He glanced over at the nurse, asking with his eyes if there was anything that could be done.

"Sometimes it helps when the Daddy-to-be gives the Mommy-to-be a backrub," she pointed out with a soft smile and a tone that was both patronizing and comforting. The wisdom of her many years experience was evident and he was going to take any help he could get.

He glanced at Jude. "Would you like that?"

Her eyes were scrunched shut in pain as she nodded her head quickly. The nurse tried not to smile as Tommy glanced at her again. She motioned to the bed and mouthed, "Climb up behind her."

Doing so was awkward. The bed swayed ever so slightly and for a moment he wondered if the wheels were anchored and if it could take both their weight. He'd never forgive himself if it suddenly collapsed beneath them. At his urging Jude slowly sat forward, her movements slow and sluggish. He nestled in behind her and positioned his legs on either side of her then inhaled slowly. The midwife gave him a subtle thumbs up sign then pretended to busy herself with the chart she was reading.

Jude sighed in contentment as Tommy began to gently massage her back, starting with her shoulders then sliding down to her middle and lower back. She leaned forward as much as was possible and shrugged her shoulders upward, stretching the muscles that until then had been wound tightly. After a few moments he was able to feel her body relax beneath his fingers and gradually slowed his motions as he worked his way back up to her shoulders and she gradually leaned back against him.

A moment later another contraction began and her body tensed as she cried out in pain. Her fingers dug into the sheets, twisting the fabric as her hands formed into fists and her back arched.

Tommy held on tight, whispering comforting words into her ear as he stroked her hair. A moment later the contraction ended and with a soft sigh of relief, her muscles slowly relaxed and she sank back onto the bed and into his arms. Slowly her breathing returned to normal.

He glanced at the nurse, "How much longer?" he asked.

"Hard to say but we're probably still talking hours."

"Do you need to be here?" His words were clipped and almost harsh but she wasn't offended.

She shook her head, "I'll check back in a quarter of an hour. Just press the buzzer if you need me."

She quietly slipped from the room and Tommy and Jude were left alone. He wondered if she would ask him to leave too. The plan had never been for him to be present. It wasn't even something they'd discussed. She'd chosen Sadie as her birth partner and didn't even mention the decision to him. The first he'd known was as the two waved good-bye before leaving for their first class. He'd been relieved. The thought of witnessing a birth made him queasy and nervous. Sadie seemed so much more appropriate. She was her sister, she's known Jude her entire life, she understood in more detail just what was being asked of Jude's body, she was a girl.

Despite his wishes for her to be happy and comfortable and his suspicions that she didn't voice her objections for fear of hurting his feelings, he couldn't bear to offer to leave her alone to deal with it.

Her body had completely relaxed and her hands were resting limply at her sides. He ran his hands down her arms, massaging ever so slightly in a manner that he hoped was comforting. He kissed the back of her head and shifted slightly. The headrest of the bed was digging into his back in a painful manner but no matter how he shifted he couldn't seem to alleviate his discomfort.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled in the room.

Jude snorted softly, "I'm wishing I could quit right now. I really, really, really wish I didn't have to go through with the rest of this process." She sighed softly.

He couldn't come up with a comforting response to her remark and silence settled upon them again.

Jude broke the silence a few minutes later with a soft comment, "You know someday in the future when we've figured out all the ins and outs of this situation we've got ourselves into… you'll probably be married to some gorgeous supermodel and when the two of you have your first baby together, she's going to be so grateful you're such a pro at this." She cringed as she spoke the words, her eyes scrunching closed as if in pain, though the effects of her contractions had completely stilled. From his position behind her he missed the action.

A muscle in his jaw clenched at her comment. His wife. He couldn't imagine being in this situation with anyone other than Jude. He rested his forehead on the back of her head as his nose grazed the nape of her neck.

"She's going to be very lucky to have you." she continued, "I'm very lucky. I don't think I've said this enough but thank you, Quincy, for everything you've done for me."

"And me…" Jude continued softly. "If I ever get married I'm going to make my husband sign a pre-nup that states that he agrees to the fact I am never having children. If at any point in our marriage he tries to pressure me into the act; I'll drop him cold." She chuckled to herself, leaning back into Tommy's arms slightly, "I am so not doing this again."

"Why are you saying this?" he asked softly, his voice barely audible in the eerily quiet room.

"Saying what?"

"Talking about husbands and wives and all of that?"

She craned her neck around to try to see him. "Why shouldn't I?"

"Because," he gritted his teeth and looked away, trying to figure out the reasons for his objections, "we live together Jude, everyone thinks we're a couple, everyone thinks this is our kid."

"It doesn't mean you're trapped with me though. We could stage a break up. Things could change."

"Stop," his voice was urgent and pleading.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head and turned away from him. "I'm not trying to… upset you. I just, I don't know what tomorrow holds. Everything seemed like a fairy tale we were making up as we went. Like, we were going to have a baby, that's so cool, it was like a dream but now it's real and I… am freaking out."

"Don't." He kissed her shoulder and ran his hand down her arm. "Tomorrow doesn't matter, tomorrow isn't real. All that matters is right now."

He tried to smile reassuringly as she glanced back at him but the smile soon turned to a pained grimace as she cried out in pain. Another contraction took hold of her body and she pulled away from him, propping herself up on her arms as she struggled to breath as she'd been instructed in her birthing classes.

He rubbed her back and pulled away the strands of hair that were sticking to the back of her neck. "It'll pass," He murmured, trying to reassure her.

"Yeah, then there'll be another and another and another and then they won't stop." She spoke quickly, a note of desperation in her voice as she gasped for air.

He slid his hand down her arm and grasped her small hand in his. Her fingers tightened around his and then unconsciously her nails dug into his skin as she moaned in pain.

"What do you think it'll look like?" He asked a moment later when the contraction had passed.

"Huh?" She twisted around to gaze at him questioningly.

"The baby," He smiled to himself as he joked, "Wouldn't it be cool if it had purple skin? Or metallic gold? 'The marvelous gold baby; he's worth a million dollars!'" The comment was silly but achieved its intended goal of making her smile.

"It better not be purple or gold," she remarked, "I just want it to be healthy. That's all that matters." Instead of turning her back to him she rested her cheek against his chest, her head rising and falling with each breath he took. He stroked her hair as they rested in silence.

- - -

Another hour passed, during which time Jude was moved to another bed with fresh sheets. Tommy left for a few minutes to check in with Mrs. Harrison regarding Sadie's whereabouts then returned to sit by Jude's bed. He held her hand and stroked her head as the contractions continued to come closer and closer together.

"All this laboring and still no baby?" A familiar, teasingly disapproving voice asked from the doorway.

"Sadie," Jude moaned, clutching Tommy's hand tightly. "Where were you?"

Sadie looked a little worse for wear since they'd last seen her. Her hair was a mess and there was worry in her eyes. She walked over to the side of the bed and put a comforting hand on Tommy's shoulder. Reaching forward, she gently brushed a loose strand of hair behind Jude's hair then patted her head. "I was downstairs in the Emergency Room, actually. I feel so bad I forgot my phone but I got this call that Lucy had been in a car crash and just went blank."

"Is she okay?" Jude was slowly relaxing as the contraction finally began to ease.

"She'll be fine. She's broken her leg pretty badly but it'll heal. Moms here too but I couldn't quite convince her to come in. She heard one of the other women scream and went deathly pale. I don't know if you remember this but you were a thirty-six hour delivery. I don't think she ever quite got over that and this place is giving her the creeps."

"Me too," Jude panted.

"Me three," Tommy added, raising a hand sheepishly.

Sadie turned to him and smiled. "Well look at you, huh?" she glanced at Jude, "he looks like he's doing well?"

"He is," she nodded, smiling gratefully.

Dr. Lockhart appeared at the door. "How is Mommy doing?" she asked.

"Almost five centimeters," the Nurse reported as she handed over the chart and left the room. While Jude and Sadie's attention was on the Doctor Tommy slowly stood from his chair and took a few sideways steps toward the door. Without even looking at him, Sadie noticed the movement and wrapped her hand around his wrist tightly. She smiled down at Jude whose attention was still on the doctor then squeezed his wrist even tighter as he attempted to pull away.

"Almost there," Dr. Lockhart smiled. "It won't be long now."

As Jude motioned her over to the side of the bed and quietly asked her an embarrassing question, Sadie turned to Tommy.

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed, placing a hand on her hip.

"I was going to go wait in the hall. You're here now."

Her eyebrows rose on her forehead. "She needs you."

"My being here is just going to make her uncomfortable."

"It's Jude. If she gets uncomfortable she'll tell you to leave. If you go now you'll probably just upset her. Now if you need a break and want to go get a drink or something, that's fine. But you'd better come back."

He rolled his eyes in amusement.

Sensing that he wasn't taking her instructions too seriously she leaned toward him as if wishing to share a secret. "I have a black belt in karate, pretty boy," she whispered. "Don't mess with me."

The information was news to him and his eyes were wide as he backed away. She smiled sweetly, bending her second and third finger in a cute little wave as he walked out the door.

- - -

"Don't push!" Dr. Lockhart said firmly as she glanced up from her spot between Jude's legs.

"I have to!" Jude groaned, throwing her head back in pain. If she'd had the concentration or energy her eyes might have paused on the poster of a giggling baby that was taped to the wall. Instead the colors blurred together into a garish red, reflecting the blood she was losing and the pain she was feeling.

Tommy was sitting on the left hand side of the bed. He had his back to Doctor Lockhart, his eyes obviously on nothing but Jude. She still felt uncomfortable and paranoid he was going to see something she didn't want him to see but though decency would request it, she couldn't bear to ask him to leave. Sadie was regularly dabbing her head with a damp sponge and bossily instructing Jude to not give up or stop.

Sadie and Tommy certainly had the good cop/bad cop routine down. He was supportive and sweet, sympathetic and un-confrontational; Sadie was loud, bossy and unyielding. They were exactly what she needed.

"You need to wait until the next contraction or it's absolutely pointless," Dr. Lockhart said in a voice that was firm but sympathetic. "Practice your counting."

Jude sighed, then began to pant out the numbers, "One, two, three…" as she said each word she focused every ounce of her attention on it, on the sound, on the spelling, the tone she said it in. Her whole world became about those numbers and nothing else until, mere seconds later, she felt the familiar squeezing in her lower abdomen as another contraction began.

"Okay, push!" Dr. Lockhart yelled.

Jude screamed, hitting notes she'd never achieved on stage or in the studio. Her entire upper body pulled upward and away from the bed as she pushed with every ounce of strength left in her.

"She's crowning!" There was a pause then a triumphant, "Good! The heads out."

Jude fell back against the pillows and Sadie was there with the sponge. "You're doing so well," she said as she smiled down at her. "I'm so proud of you."

Jude turned her face to Tommy. "We're going to meet the golden baby huh?" she asked.

Her face was flushed a bright read and shiny with sweat and damp strands of her hair clung to her head and the pillow. He'd never found her more beautiful.

He smiled, "any minute now."

"Okay Jude. This is it." Dr. Lockhart said. "I need a really big push."

Jude took a deep breath and pushed.

"Harder!"

"Augh!" She cried, the muscles in her neck straining, "I can't! I can't!" she sobbed.

Sadie was instantly there in her face. "Yes! You can Jude!" she tried to look away but Sadie grabbed her face. "Look at me! You can and you will! Right now!"

"Aaaaaaaaugh!" Jude screamed as she gave her strongest push of the night. There was an excruciating, tearing pain, then a release followed by the angry cries of an infant.

Dr. Lockhart and the nurse scrambled around at the base of the bed. The baby was quickly checked over and wrapped in a warm blanket before a smiling Dr. Lockhart walked over to the head of the bed. "Meet your daughter," she said with a happy smile as she leaned forward and gently lowered the impossibly tiny baby onto Jude's chest.

Jude blinked wearily. Her eyes only focused on the baby for a second before her vision was blurred by tears. She gasped and sobbed and gently ran her finger down the side of her daughter's face. The baby tilted her head back, her rosebud lips parted and she gurgled softly. Slowly, her eyes began to flutter open. She winced in pain from the bright lights of the delivery room, and then, for the briefest of seconds, her eyes focused on Jude.

To Jude it was like she'd been hit in the chest by a freight train, a feeling so overwhelming and all consuming spread through her entire being. It was love, so powerful and so intense, she honestly couldn't breath. Tears streamed down her face as she gazed, without wavering or blinking at this tiny, wrinkly, bright red creature that was wholly hers.

Teaser for Chapter 52

"You know, they say a woman becomes a mother the moment she gets pregnant and that a man becomes a father the moment he first sees his child." He glanced over at her and she smiled softly. She shrugged lightly, feeling a little nervous despite the intentions he'd stated over and over. Would the reality be too much for him? She was stronger then she'd been nine months earlier. She knew she could survive without him but in that moment, she couldn't think of anything worse. "So, are you a Daddy?"