Chapter 44: Eyes Opened
Severus gazed at Lily, wondering how to put into words the realisation that had hovered on the edge of his thoughts for some time now.
The truth was simply that all he cared about was her – Lily, and a future together with her. And the only way that they could realistically secure a safe, prosperous and viable future would be by joining the force that would win this war – in explicit terms, by joining the Dark Lord. Joining Dumbledore would be a death sentence for them both – and almost inevitably preceded by horrendous torture.
"I am saying," Severus said heavily, "that I have thought long and hard about the way forward… about what I should like… about which path I should accomplish most with… And above all you have been at the heart of my thoughts. Lily, I am sorry to have to break it to you, but I truly cannot see a viable way forward for me on Dumbledore's side, nor for you."
"Me?" Lily blinked in surprise. "I don't understand, of course I'm right to be on Dumbledore's side!"
Severus held up a hand to silence her protestation. "Let me explain…"
After a moment, Lily sat down on the desk behind her and nodded. Severus sighed with the weariness of one carrying an immense load on his shoulders. Knowing Lily was watching him anxiously, he grabbed the chair he had knocked to the floor earlier and stood it the right way up, before sinking into it. He leaned forward so he was only inches away from Lily, his eyes level with hers, and he gazed intently at her, willing her to understand him.
"Lily," he said, his voice painfully soft with honesty, "the harsh truth is that I am in too deep. Though you do not wish to believe it, you know I have met the Dark Lord in person. He has sought my company on two occasions already and he has singled me out to speak to me in private."
Lily stifled a cry, looking terrified, but she did not interrupt him.
"To hope that my absence from any further meetings will pass unnoticed would be blind folly. Any failure to match the eagerness of my friends shall be painfully conspicuous and met with the Dark Lord's intense displeasure. If I try to worm my way out of his circle now, I shall be lucky if I get out alive after my housemates have finished mocking me and punishing me according to the Dark Lord's will. I need not elaborate; suffice it to say, He will not suffer betrayal kindly.
"But for you, Lily, the matter is much more serious. Should I openly reject the Dark Lord now, you shall instantly be made a target… And I can no longer see how I could be in a strong enough position to be able to keep you safe if I should join Dumbledore's side. I will never be given a position of trust and respect like you and Saint Potter – Merlin, currently I am not even allowed to learn Joint Magic with you! I have seen the power that the Vallatus Charm possesses, but without it I am powerless to protect you. Stunning Charms and Shield Charms… these all pale in the face of the cutthroat curses that the Dark Lord's followers wield.
"I know you think you can defend yourself," he raised his voice upon seeing Lily opening her mouth to object, "but the Disembowelling Curse is only a whisker of what they can unleash. I may be able to stop such curses once they are upon their victims, but there is no shield that I could teach you that could reliably repel such magic. Perhaps the Vallatus Charm might, but I cannot be convinced of its worth until I have tried it, and that eventuality now seems distant. As soon as the Dark Lord or his young recruits catch the faintest whiff of treachery, we will both be in great danger, with no experience together of the Vallatus Charm, or any other method strong enough to protect us. And so… that leaves us both woefully vulnerable."
Lily did not speak, but she hugged herself where she was perched on the desk, looking frightened and pitifully vulnerable. After a while she said unsurely, "Why will I be targeted if you leave the Dark Lord's followers?"
"I am sure you have not forgotten what I told you in the Forest," Severus answered, watching her carefully, "the Dark Lord has appreciated your magical talents and desires you to be on His side." He made sure to omit his own part in this scheme, for Lily had been burdened with enough earth-shattering revelations tonight, and she was already looking terribly pale.
"Once it is clear that you will never be swayed, you will be nothing to Him apart from a valuable aid to His enemy – He will see to it that your fate is akin to the woeful tales you read in the Prophet. The other Slytherins have let you be until now, since they have surmised that you have some value to me and they respect me – albeit grudgingly – due to both my uses and the fact that I have been granted the Dark Lord's favour. But should I ever be discredited, they shall not hesitate to cross that line and target you just as much as any other Muggleborn or Blood-Traitor. Perhaps even more, knowing how much it will distress me…"
Severus trailed off thoughtfully, for he could see it now, as clear as reality – Wilkes leering at him triumphantly, Mulciber throwing his head back in cruel laughter, while Rosier looked at him levelly, his eyes telling him clearer than words that he believed the punishment for the severity of his crime was satisfyingly just. The vision of Lily, huddled helplessly on the floor at their feet, drove a shard of glass into his heart so sharply that Severus grimaced and, trembling madly, reached out to cup Lily's face in his hand to remind himself forcibly that she was still here, as yet still safe and untouched…
He could not let that eventuality come to pass, he thought as Lily twined her fingers in his and squeezed tightly, making tears spring unbidden into his eyes. He would fight it with every fibre of his being. He did not think he could bear the pain of seeing her hurt… hurt by the very Dark Magic he knew and had even taught to her assailants.
Lily shook her head dazedly. "But what other choice is there? Our only hope is to join Dumbledore and learn the Vallatus Charm, isn't it?"
She pinned him with a look of despair.
Severus lowered his eyes. It was finally time to introduce Lily, slowly, carefully to the idea of siding with the Dark Lord. But he had to go one step at a time.
He leaned in to lay his hands on Lily's knees, closing the distance between them even further. Ever so slowly, he slid his hands up her thighs, subconsciously drawing her full attention. "There is a way I can keep us safe," he purred softly, enticingly, as he swept his eyes up to hers. "I know advanced magic that is immensely powerful, that is unrelenting and unfailing. It matches like for like. It far outstrips any other magic we could equip ourselves with…"
Lily's eyes were fixed on his, and she was motionless, but she exuded the air of a paralysed quarry, poised for flight at any second.
"It all makes sense, Lily," he murmured, lowering his voice to a tenor that vibrated every syllable, using careful inflections to make his words so undeniably persuasive. "Why not use the Dark Arts?"
xXxXx
The Dark Arts-?
Lily recoiled from Severus, filled with horror at his suggestion.
"No, no way!" she stammered, regarding him with consternation. How could he possibly propose something so frightful and insane in such a serious manner? She was so afraid that the instinct to bolt hit her, but Severus' hands forced her to stay rooted to the desk.
"Lily…" Severus hushed soothingly, now so close that she could not look anywhere but him. "What is wrong with using magic to defend ourselves? What is Dark Magic, except a source of power in our time of need? What is the difference between Dark spells and the spells that your friends use to bring discomfort and disablement to others? What is wrong with matching like for like? Why not use the only magic that will enable us to protect ourselves?"
A shudder rippled through Lily's body, but her eyes did not stray from his. She couldn't help but listen to Severus' words, words filled with so much conviction that, were it not for the fluttering of her heart like a caged bird, she would agree with them without hesitation…
"Come…" he purred beguilingly, "what is so bad about that?"
Lily teetered on the verge of giving in to the mesmerising intensity of his black eyes, all coherent arguments flying from her grasp. All she knew was that she was afraid…
"This can't be the only answer," she murmured, wringing her hands. "The Dark Arts can't be the only way…"
Severus tilted his head to one side, viewing her through half-lidded eyes. "I do not wish to offend, but truly you are unfairly prejudiced against the Dark Arts, Lily… If you would but open your mind, erase all that you think you know from when you were younger, look upon them with a balanced academic interest, and try to learn their true nature and uses, you would understand… They are a shield and a weapon we can use when no other sufficient for our needs is available to us…"
This all made sense, but still Lily's misgivings remained; she knew the Dark Arts were innately evil! Nothing could change that. She could not possibly condone Severus' use of them in any situation, let alone for her sake!
Severus must have detected her reluctance for his expression, which had been so welcoming, suddenly hardened.
"Please, Lily," he said, frustration breaking into his voice, startling her. "I listened to what you had to say to me about how we ought to hide our magic from muggles rather than use it to rule them; when will you open your mind to my beliefs?"
A wave of shame crashed over Lily and she bowed her head. It was unfair, she knew, to just presume that Severus would change everything in his life to please her, while she changed nothing for him. She had become so hopeful over the last few weeks that Severus was becoming converted, she hadn't given much thought to the notion that he might resent her for not taking an interest in his beliefs and values, while he listened to hers.
But Lily knew she ought to meet him halfway. It was only right that she reciprocated his gracious openness of mind and listened to what he had to say – regardless of her feelings and beliefs – or distance would grow between them and drive them apart…
"I'm sorry, just… just let me think about it, okay?" she said, cringing. "I'll have a think on the Dark Arts properly – I'll – I'll weigh up their disadvantages and – and uses they might have… I will, I promise, Sev."
Lily truly meant it. She vowed now to delve once more into Severus' heavy old book on the Dark Arts, which she had kept for safekeeping in her trunk for the last month after James had stolen it from Severus. 'The Ancient Magical Lore of THE DARK ARTS' had been at the back of her mind since James had made her promise to stop reading it due to the terrifying nightmares it had given her, but she had always known a time would come when she would need to face up to her fears. She wanted to understand Severus, to see exactly what it was that fascinated him about the Dark Arts… She wanted to prove how much she cared about him – that she valued his opinions as much as he respected hers, and that together they could make their relationship work, whatever hindrances came their way.
Besides, hadn't Severus always claimed that he studied the Dark Arts so that he knew how to defend himself against them? Perhaps she would find the solution to their problem in the book!
Anyway, she thought, trying to quell the jumble of nerves in her stomach, she still had those two unopened bottles of Severus' Dreamless Sleep potion… If she took some before bed each night, there was no reason why her sleep should be disturbed like it had been a month ago. It still shamed her that the book had given her nightmares, like it had when Severus had shown it to her before they had come to Hogwarts, and it was for this reason that she now abstained from telling Severus her plan. Though she expected him to be pleasantly surprised by her proactive show of interest, she suspected he would order her to leave the book alone for the sake of her own mental wellbeing. Well, she would prove she was strong of mind, no longer a child! Even though the book's contents still scared her, she would force herself to read it, to understand the appeal of the Dark Arts and carefully come to her own decision about their use.
But even though Lily's words were honest, she could see scepticism in the arch of Severus' eyebrows, and a hint of doubt, almost sadness in his eyes.
"I will think about the Dark Arts, I promise," Lily said firmly, looking Severus straight in the eye so he knew she was telling the truth. "But while I do," she bargained, "can't you at least come to the Vallatus classes as Dumbledore offered, and give the Vallatus Charm a chance? Can't you wait a little longer before making a real decision? Just wait and see – " she said desperately, "I'm sure you'll view everything differently once Dumbledore lets us try the Charm together – and I'm sure we'll achieve some amazing magic together that can help us! Please don't abandon all hope of joining Dumbledore's side of the War – not now, not like this. You want to do what's right for my sake – well, please listen to me: for my sake, don't give up on Dumbledore's side. Please."
Severus was silent, his eyes dimmed. When he did finally answer, his voice was low and resigned.
"As you wish."
Lily's heart gave a pang. The doubt in Severus' eyes made her shiver in fear.
"We can figure this out together, and we will find a solution," she said strongly, as if hearing certitude in her own voice would make her believe in it. "This doesn't have to be the end, Sev, it really doesn't…"
She said the words, but inside, her heart felt a catch, and from it a cold feeling crept up her throat, like a warning of impending darkness, and tears prickled in her eyes.
"I really don't know…" Severus murmured, his black eyes fixed on hers.
Lily's heart pounded in her ears. She urgently searched his face for any further meaning, but none came. What did he mean-? He did not know if they could find a solution? He had doubts over whether he could go any further with Dumbledore's side? Or he had doubts over whether he could go any further with her?
No… a voice wailed in her head, NO, he couldn't be suggesting that, could he? God, he couldn't possibly think that this would force them apart? He didn't seriously think it would be better if they were not together any more, did he? Lily felt suffocated by the weight of terrible fear and struggled to breathe.
"What are you saying?" she whispered, panicked. "You're not suggesting that we should break up, are you? God, Severus, no, you can't do that – !"
As her voice broke with terror and became hysterical, concern unexpectedly formed on Severus' face and he swiftly got up and knelt before her, shaking his head.
"No, Lily…" he murmured heavily, resting his hand on her trembling fingers. "Merlin, even if by leaving you it meant you would have a far safer and happier life than anything I could offer if I stayed with you… I am not sure I could do it…" His dark eyes found hers, swirling with utmost tenderness as well as brutal self-condemnation and guilt. "Despite all my best intentions, I do not believe I could let you go…"
"Oh thank goodness…" Lily flew into his arms faster than any Seeker had ever moved, overwhelmed with an exhausting sense of relief. Severus gently folded his arms around her, and she tightly clutched his robes, burying her face in their faint smoky aroma, listening to the quick beat of his heart and feeling his body warmth radiating onto her cheek, as if by bombarding her senses she could reassure herself that Severus was still here and was going nowhere… But the threat of losing him had been all too much.
Lily broke down into a helpless shaking wreck of tears. Anything wholesome that she felt inside was overpowered by a horrid sickening sensation as if she had just stepped back from a towering cliff edge, born out of the feeling that only moments ago she had been on the verge of losing Severus for a second time… She wanted to rid herself of that horribly painful thought, but it dominated her mind, harrowing her spirit and her body, scaring her beyond measure.
"Lily-!" Severus cried, aghast, when he unfurled her from him. He looked stricken.
"I'm sorry," she sniffled, knowing how Severus despised emotional, crying girls. "Just – don't ever again make me think that you're leaving me."
Severus slowly reached out his hand and wiped her tears from her cheeks with his fingertips. "I hope to God I never have to…"
Severus' whisper was full of emotion, but his equivocal words spooked her. Lily let out an anguished whimper and her vision clouded with fresh tears.
"Lily?" She heard the confusion in Severus' voice. "I would do anything to keep you safe and happy."
He was speaking as if it should be reassuring her, but she only cried more – for what atrocities did 'anything' entail?
"I'd sell my soul if that's what it would take," he whispered, as if he had read her mind. "I'd give my heart to the Dark Lord if it would save you. Do you not know, Lily? I'd give my all for you…"
Lily shook her head fervently, unable to stop a high-pitched cry of panic from rising in her constricted throat. Though the feelings for her that he must harbour to have said such things excitingly echoed her own, the lengths Severus was proposing to go for her sake were so horrifying, she could not even bear to imagine it, let alone consider it as a real-life possibility…
"Shh…" Severus murmured as she moaned and shook with terror. "It will all work out," he assured her, his voice once again velvety-soft and irresistible. "Did you not say we will find a solution? Whatever happens, we will find a way to safely get through this War. Do not cry, Lily…"
Slowly, Lily felt the panic subside. Nevertheless, more acutely than ever she felt the need to read Severus' book on the Dark Arts. Then she could either accept that Dark Magic was something they could use to protect themselves if Severus should isolate himself from the Dark Lord's followers, or she could form a solid, coherent argument for why they should not use them. Her idea of what the Dark Arts were was now so blurred by Severus' insistent words and her misremembered visions of the book that she had no idea which conclusion she would reach.
"Come." Severus coaxed her into his arms. Lily stayed there, unmoving, savouring the moment for as long as she could, now all too aware of the threats to their relationship and the possibility that moments of such peace may at some point no longer be granted to them.
She didn't know how long she had been there in his embrace, but she felt his lips brush against her forehead. "Would you tell me something?" Severus asked softly.
"Of course," she sniffed, rubbing her eyes which were sore from crying.
Severus did not speak for a moment, as if he had difficulty articulating what he wanted to convey. "I – are you not angry with me?" Lily looked up; he was frowning at her, searching her face as if he could not decipher her. "I thought you would – "
"What, yell at you like I yelled at James?" Lily finished for him, giving a small chuckle. Slowly Severus nodded, but he did not smile.
"I was of the view you would hate me… irrevocably… for what I have done and failed to tell you." He choked the words out as if he was afraid they would prompt her to act in that very way.
"But you did tell me today."
Lily was still reeling from the news that Severus had met with Voldemort only last night and was stuck in even deeper than she'd suspected. After the impression he had given her the last few weeks – whether unknowingly or with the intent to deceive her – it had come as an almighty shock.
But she was tremendously glad for one good reason – she had found about Severus' difficult situation with Voldemort because he had chosen to admit these things to her tonight of his own accord – she hadn't stolen these secrets from his mind against his will when they had been connected by the Vallatus Charm – he had summoned up the courage to voluntarily tell her the unadulterated truth. There was a massive difference.
No matter how awful the truth was, she now knew what they were up against, and she clung to the fact that Severus had willingly told her what a bad predicament he was in, even though he was afraid it might scare her away forever. It was the most she had learnt about was going on in his mind since that day in the Forest when they had started going out, when she used Sentilimency on him and discovered he had met Voldemort and there was a plan involving her. He had been carrying the weight of such a heavy secret alone, but finally he had shared the burden with her.
Severus was looking at her quizzically. Lily tried to elaborate.
"You might not have told me the truth for the last few weeks – "
"I never lied to you!" Severus leapt in.
"You concealed the truth from me though," Lily said shrewdly. God, Severus had often told her she was too naïve for her own good, and she had always fiercely objected and taken offence. But now she realised just how right he had truly been! How blindly she had trusted him, seen in his words what she had wanted to see, ignored what she wanted to ignore, believed what she had wanted to believe! She had been so blithely happy living the last few weeks in a dream – but that was what it had been, a dream, carefree and full of hope, but blind and foolish. Only now had Severus grounded her and made her understand the difficulties they really faced.
"You didn't tell me how bad things were with You-Know-Who even though you had so many opportunities," she said, and Severus seemed to shrink a little in shame. "But tonight you have, without me having to force it from you or see it in your mind. And now that I know what we're up against, I can stand by you – I can help you find out a solution. We're in this together, you're no longer fighting for us on your own. Thank you, Sev… for being honest."
She looked up at him and smiled; although Severus seemed brighter, as if she had filled him with hope, he still appeared thunderstruck by her reaction to his confession. She supposed she had always been so vehemently against Voldemort, so it made sense that he had been so scared to tell her how bad things were, yet in her eyes matters were not yet so out of hand that there was no hope for Severus – and consequently for them. He had considered Dumbledore's side; he was acting in the way he thought would be best for her; he had told her the situation so she could now help.
His revelation did not change her feelings for him. Severus meant so much to her that she couldn't let something like this tear them apart… not now… The severing of their friendship in June had been terrible enough… She didn't think she could possibly bear to lose him now that they had become so much closer…
"Lily?" Severus said tentatively. "Now you know what the other Slytherins and I have done… you won't tell Dumbledore, will you?"
"I – I still think you ought to tell him…" Lily trailed off at Severus' scathing glare. "You really want me to keep this quiet?" she said weakly.
"If you tell Dumbledore what the others did, I'll be thrown in it too."
"But it's different for you! You want to get out of it, whereas they don't! Dumbledore won't treat you like the others if you confess to him first and ask for help!"
"How do you know?" Severus retorted. "I've done the same things as they have… If he punishes them for leaving school grounds, for meeting with the Dark Lord… He must punish me too. And without my father conveniently being on the Board of Governors, or friendly with Mr Malfoy, I have no one to twist Dumbledore's arm for me to let me off. If you tell what we did, the odds are stacked against me. I am exceptionally likely to be expelled."
Lily winced. Perhaps, in the name of being fair, Dumbledore would see to it that Severus would face expulsion if she confessed. In her head, Severus was very different to his Slytherin counterparts, but was it just her feelings for him that made her view his actions differently? Dumbledore might not feel the same way about Severus as she did. Perhaps he would treat Severus differently, but when there was a risk that he might expel Severus, how could she plough ahead and tell him? How would she be able to live with the knowledge she was the one who had brought about Severus' expulsion?
The sickening churn of guilt in her stomach at the thought of banishing Severus forever from the wizarding world, back to his parents' squalid and miserable home made up her mind for her.
"Fine…" she admitted morosely, and the tension instantly melted from Severus' body. "I won't tell. But I feel horribly uncomfortable about this – and not just because I'm a Prefect, Sev. It just feels wrong. I wish you would tell Dumbledore yourself so that he can help you and punish the others."
Severus was silent. There was so much pulling them together, but there were still stark differences dividing them, and on this matter they strongly differed. Sometimes it felt like there was a void between them, waiting to consume them… There was nothing there but wandlight, but it felt like the weight of the world, all the obstacles to their happiness hanging there between them, seeking to separate them irrevocably…
Severus stirred, checked his watch and stood to his feet. Lily sighed, her heart aching. "I long for the time when no threat of disaster is looming over us any more…" she murmured as she stood to join him.
"So do I," Severus answered. "But until then, there's a joy for every hurt we endure."
Lily looked at him questioningly.
"Let us savour what is given to us," he explained with a flicker of a smile, and as he bent down she understood his meaning. His mouth met hers, and his kiss was slow, tender, full of all the emotions they had gone through that evening. It was both a pleasure and a pain; a healing balm and a deadly drug that threatened to alter her perception of everything.
xXxXx
Severus spent most of Monday lying in wait for his fellow Slytherins. He knew it was only a matter of time before Dumbledore cornered them about Potter's allegations as to their whereabouts on Halloween, but whatever Lily's pleas, he could not bring himself to betray his housemates in an attempt to save his own neck. His future with the Dark Lord still seemed – to him – the best option for him and Lily, and so he would not so rashly sever the ties he had worked so hard to form. Instead he would face Dumbledore's inquisition head on and devise some way to save himself and his housemates from expulsion.
It was just after nine in the evening when, for the first time, he finally caught them all together. As Mulciber wandered into the sixth-year dorm unawares, Severus leapt up from his poorly-executed homework and fired colloportus at the door.
"What the hell are you doing?" Mulciber snarled, whirling around.
Severus ignored his melodramatics and hissed, "Dumbledore knows about Halloween!"
Silence hung in the air. When his roommates looked around and realised he was being deadly serious, they exchanged looks of unease.
Rosier dropped his Potions book with a clunk as he stood to join Severus. "What do you mean?" he whispered.
"Dumbledore knows we left Hogwarts on Halloween. Merlin knows how he found out, but he told me he wants to speak to each of us, and you can be sure he'll try to find any scrap of evidence he can that we left the grounds. And if he should find out who we went to meet…" He tapered off threateningly.
"Shit…" Rosier swore. "I heard the Ravenclaws got caught by some Prefects when they left, but I thought Slughorn didn't give a damn, he even gave his backdated permission!"
Avery waved a hand as if swatting away a bothersome fly. "Chill out – there's not a shred of evidence that we got out of here. He can't do anything."
Avery was asinine to be so unfazed, but before Severus had the chance to drill some sense into him, Rosier had spoken.
"Maybe not, but you can bet he's got his eye on us. Potter's sure it was two of us who attacked him and Regulus' brother, so I've heard. We need to get out of the spotlight. What do we do now, Snape?"
At least Rosier had some sense of the danger they were in. Severus leant back against his bedpost. "I may have a couple of ideas…" he drawled.
"Of course you do," Wilkes muttered. Severus scowled at him icily.
"We must all stick to the same story: that we had a Halloween party in here. We will also be a great deal safer if we can get Slughorn on our side. If we could thank Slughorn for being so generous in giving his retrospective permission for the party, he'll be convinced we really did have a party, and it'll mean that Dumbledore will have great difficult in making him doubt our story. Also, we could plant some bottles of butterbeer and firewhisky around the Common Room. Then, if Dumbledore does come looking for evidence, it gives the impression that we did have a party. We ought to do it right away, before he tries to catch us out."
"Knew we could rely on you, Snape," Rosier said with a grin. "As you're the brains behind this, you'll be the best one to talk Slughorn round."
Severus cocked an eyebrow. "I agree that I should be the one to speak," he said, not trusting the others' abilities to not slip up. "But I believe he might be more swayed by someone in a better position than myself." He looked pointedly at Rosier. As a Pureblood, well-connected, he would appeal greatly to Slughorn. "Would you care to join me?"
Rosier puffed himself up, smirking. "Certainly. Do you, err, think we need a bribe of some sort?"
"It can't hurt…" Severus considered. "Slughorn is prone to be taken in by such flattery. Perhaps a bottle of something? Who has any?"
His gaze travelled around the group, who were suddenly rather quiet. No one wanted to give up their secret stash of booze.
"Cough up, Avery," Mulciber said suddenly, looking bored. Avery jumped out of his skin. "I know you have a couple of bottles."
"But – why should I – "
"Do you want to be expelled?" Severus hissed, eyes narrowed.
Avery blanched and swallowed. "I thought I'd made it quite clear that I do not," he retorted sullenly, referring to the aftermath of the Death Eater propaganda leaflets.
Severus smirked and held out his hand. "Excellent. So hand it over."
Throwing Severus a filthy look, Avery withdrew to his bed and rummaged around underneath, finally emerging with a dusty scarlet bottle of elf wine.
"Holy shit, that's a good one," Rosier exclaimed, goggling at the bottle in Severus' hands.
"No shit," Avery muttered, his eyes not leaving the bottle until it had been tucked away in Severus' cloak pocket.
"Well," Rosier said cheerfully, dusting off his hands and totally ignoring Avery's disgruntlement. "I think we've got this sorted. Shall we go, Snape?"
Severus inclined his head and turned to the others. "You – find some other bottles of alcohol – I don't care whether they're yours or some third year's – and hide them around the place. Being found guilty of drinking alcohol is far better than being found guilty of leaving the grounds to meet the wizard that Dumbledore loathes the most." He turned and removed the spell on the door.
"Perfect," said Rosier, following Severus out of the dormitory buoyantly.
As they headed out of the Slytherin Common Room together, towards Slughorn's office, Rosier whispered to Severus, "Thanks for the tip-off."
"I've got your back, you've got mine," Severus muttered. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Rosier smile brightly.
"Us Slytherins stick together," he said, and he whistled until they reached Slughorn's rooms. Severus passed Rosier the bottle, which he hid behind his back. Then he knocked on the door and stood back, putting Rosier in prime view.
There came the sound of shuffling footsteps before the door swung open and Slughorn looked down at them, beaming.
"What a pleasant surprise, Mr Rosier and Mr Snape! What can I do for you?"
"Good evening, sir," Severus said, tipping his head politely. "Rosier and I just came to offer our gratitude on behalf of Slytherin House for giving your permission for our Halloween party on Saturday night. It was incredibly gracious of you and we sincerely appreciate your understanding."
"Oh!" Slughorn looked visibly pleased. "Of course, of course, my lads! But next time, I should dearly like to be informed prior to the event," he said, wagging a finger at Severus. "I may be some years older than you, but I should like to stay in the loop, know what's going on with all you youngsters, mmhmm?"
Severus did his best at looking abashed. "Yes, sir, we are sorry it slipped our minds." He shot Rosier a meaningful look. On cue, Rosier brought out the bottle from behind his back. "As an apology for our lapse, and a sign of thanks for your retrospective permission, we would like to offer you this small gift."
Rosier extended the bottle to Slughorn, its weathered label facing upwards. Slughorn's eyes bulged.
"Boys, you shouldn't," he simpered, yet his hands latched greedily onto the bottle. "Nineteen sixty-nine elf-wine, what a good year…" Slowly he emerged from his daydream, and looked up at them with eyebrows raised. "But strictly I should reprimand you for bringing alcohol into the school."
"We brought this specially for you, for we thought you alone would appreciate this wine's fine taste, sir." Rosier smiled unctuously at Slughorn. Severus resisted the urge to retch.
Their Head of House smiled, subconsciously caressing the bottle in his hand. He was so obviously taken in by Rosier's oily flattery. Merlin, this was ridiculously easy!
"Very well, I shall keep this one quiet. You and I see eye to eye, Mr Rosier," Slughorn whispered conspiratorially. "I shall omit to mention this gift to my colleagues, to ensure it is savoured and enjoyed as much as it deserves."
Severus rolled his eyes. In other words, Slughorn was going to keep the wine to himself so he could gorge it all. But Slughorn's gluttony suited him and Rosier – it meant that Dumbledore would not discover their little bribe.
"Thank you, sir," Rosier said ingratiatingly. "We always feel so very fortunate to have you as our Head of House."
Slughorn waved them away. "No need to mention it boys," he said, but his delight in Rosier's praise was evident – even though Severus believed it rather over the top.
"Goodnight, sir," said Severus and Rosier, and Slughorn hurriedly disappeared behind his door, gripping the bottle of wine tightly in his podgy hands.
Rosier turned to face Severus, his eyes glimmering with a barely-suppressed smirk. "Nice one!" he said, clapping Severus on the shoulder. "What a piece of piss! He's totally fallen for it. With him on our side, Dumbledore will have a hard time screwing us over!"
Severus had to agree that with Slughorn convinced in their alibi, Dumbledore would find it difficult to prove that they were elsewhere on Saturday night. But that didn't mean they were out of the woods yet.
"Let's just hope it works," he said laconically. Rosier just laughed, but Severus would not let himself relax until Dumbledore's investigations were over.
xXxXx
In another part of the castle, Lily was walking to the Hospital Wing. It had been a tough Monday. Not only was she struggling to come to the realisation that Severus had not changed as much as she had believed, and that she would have to spend much of her free time reading up on the Dark Arts, but she was also having difficulties with her Gryffindor friends. She'd had a squabble with Alice barely five minutes after waking up, which had ended with Alice refusing to talk to her on the principle that Lily had 'lost her mind' by choosing to partner Severus. Marlene had seemed hurt that Lily hadn't thought to mention that Severus was to be her new partner, as if she didn't trust her friends. Mary made Lily feel the least guilty, but the way she kept pestering her for information had driven her mad and she couldn't bear to be around her a second longer.
She wanted to talk to Remus, which is why she had come to the Hospital Wing. When she had noticed Remus' absence from the Marauders' favourite window seat in the Common Room, where Peter alone was working, she had known where he would be.
"Hi," she said quietly, tiptoeing over to where Remus was sitting beside James and Sirius' beds. Remus jumped and looked nervous at the sight of her; Lily remembered with a pang that the last time she'd spoken to him, she'd nearly bit his head off. She smiled at him sheepishly.
"Um, can I join you?"
"Of course." Remus scooted over to one side of the chair, allowing Lily to squish next to him. It was only now that she properly looked at James, and realised that he was completely unconscious just like Sirius.
"What happened to James?" she asked in surprise. Not that she minded that he was unconscious, because he'd probably start lecturing her about Severus again as soon as he laid eyes on her, and she'd be sorely tempted to give him a good slap, but it was odd that he was asleep at this time of day when he was normally itching for visitors.
"Oh," Remus muttered, and he glanced over his shoulder to where Madam Pomfrey was rummaging through the store cupboard some distance away. When he spoke, though, he kept his voice down. "When Madam Pomfrey got James back in bed last night, she forced a Sleeping Draught down him. It knocked him out in seconds and he'd been unconscious ever since. Look – " He pointed over to a vial containing the brightest blue potion Lily had ever clapped eyes on. It was linked up to a line that entered a vein in James' arm. "Never seen one like that before, I'd wager it could knock out a dragon! I think Pomfrey's keeping James all drugged up so that he has no choice but to stay in bed and get better. He'll be mad when he wakes up and realises what she did though."
"I can't say he didn't deserve it," Lily murmured, smiling wryly at Remus. He looked like he was trying hard not to laugh out of loyalty to his friend, but the corners of his lips were quirking upwards, giving away his true feelings.
"I'm sorry about what happened last night," Remus said, glancing at her and then down at his hands. "I mean – you know Severus better than any of us, so it's up to you to decide whether you're happy to partner him. James really shouldn't have said some of those things. But do you – do you know what Severus and his friends were really doing on Saturday night? Did you find out if it was a party, or if it was actually something else?"
Lily felt sick with panic at the reminder of Severus' visit to Voldemort. She did not want to talk or even think about it right now.
"What's wrong with Madam Pomfrey?" she asked brazenly, fighting to change the topic of conversation. She had slung her attention onto the nurse, who was looking very flustered as she scuttled to and from the storeroom and a third year boy with his arm in a sling, apparently unable to remember what equipment she needed. "Do you think she blames herself for James' escape last night?" Lily wondered aloud, hardly caring that the nurse was not her usual confident self but desperate for a distraction.
Remus shook her head, mercifully letting the question go. "No, last night Pomfrey was livid, definitely not guilty. She's only been like that since this morning. I spoke to that boy earlier… Apparently, her office was broken into in the early hours of this morning, while she was asleep."
Now Lily's attention was captured. "What?"
"Yeah, strange, isn't it? I don't know what was taken, but it seems to have shaken her up."
Lily looked at the nurse sadly. "At least James and Sirius aren't able to bother her."
Remus let out a chuckle and brightened up. "Yeah. You know, she told me Sirius is doing well! I had no idea, but apparently over the last few days she's been keeping him asleep with the same potion as James has, to help him get better faster. She says she's considering waking up in the next couple of days, maybe tomorrow if he does well!"
"Oh, that's wonderful news, Remus!" Lily enthused, grinning broadly. The obvious joy in Remus' voice was so uplifting, and she was incredibly relieved that Sirius was finally on the mend after being so dreadfully unwell – no one deserved to suffer as much as he had. Yes, Sirius was a nuisance at times, but she couldn't deny that classes had been somewhat less entertaining without Sirius' cheeky character to liven them up. She begrudgingly reflected that she had actually missed having him and James around…
"Yeah, and Pomfrey said she'll let James wake up at the same time too!" Remus added, and he leant closer to whisper, "I believe her logic is that, if the two of them have each other for company, they won't have a reason to sneak out of the Hospital Wing!"
Lily laughed, her heart feeling inexplicably lighter. "That might be true, but she certainly won't have an easy time with those two rascals! They'll have a whole week's worth of mischief-making to catch up on. But at least they should cheer her up."
"Yeah," Remus agreed, smiling fondly at Sirius' sleeping form. He turned and gave Lily a wink. "Of that I am sure."
xXxXx
Thank you for reading! Coming up next time will be a lot more action: Dumbledore corners Severus, there is more trouble from the Slytherins, and FINALLY Sirius will wake up! Yay! You'll be glad to know that 75% is already written and I am on holiday so the next update will be sooner than usual.
Thanks go to Poly, shine lots and the other guest who reviewed the previous chapter.
All that remains is to nudge you for a little early Christmas present (aka review) and to wish you and those whom you love a very happy Christmas! :)
