52: Matters of the Heart.

The rain beckoned with its hypnotizing steady beat as night fell over Dromund Kaas, accentuating the fierce and branched strokes of lightning that illuminated the sky every few minutes. Several more days had passed since Eliza had first woken up within her old bedroom and she now pushed the glass double doors out onto the balcony open as she stepped outside on bare feet.

She closed her eyes, savoring the moment. Gentle rain washed over her easily drenching her red locks while she tilted her head up and let it wash down her face as well. Her nightgown quickly clung to her body, soaked but all this did was add to her joy. Eliza remembered doing this as a child, embracing the rain and watching over her city and she couldn't believe she'd ever forgotten how wonderful this felt.

"You'll catch a cold." Lord Scourge noted quietly and his arms wrapped around her from behind.

"It would be worth it. Just look at this Scourge…"

Through a distorted curtain of rainfall, the lights below that lit the streets and clubs appeared to be dancing and floating but they'd freeze in fear each time lightning struck and Eliza let out a small chuckle.

"You seem to be doing better." he planted a small kiss against her bare shoulder.

"I'm tired of my bed. I want to be out there, exploring the city… find this mansion I apparently inherited. Walk the streets with you at my side."

"It's the middle of the night and in this weather?"

Eliza turned around in his embrace and watched as drops of rain trickled slowly down his arms and biceps. A grin crept upon her face "Well, I could be persuaded to stay here…"

Lord Scourge gave a smirk "You're incorrigible."

"Always." Eliza leaned in and playfully bit down on his bottom lip "I've missed your touch Scourge."

"Just mine?" the question escaped him far too easily and Lord Scourge cursed himself.

Eliza lowered her eyes immediately and withdrew from his embrace "And there we have it at last."

"I'm sorry."

"No." she shook her head "I'm the one who should apologize, I should have never let it happen."

"Eliza…" Lord Scourge reached out and tipped her chin up to force eye contact "I'm not upset with the kiss itself and if I could believe it was a simple goodbye then that's one thing but I read your body language in that moment. You wanted it as much as he did, you leaned into him and the possible meanings behind that leave me unnerved."

Thunder rumbled through the skies once more as lightning struck above them and Eliza nodded sadly "I did… but I don't know why. For the past days I, I haven't been able to get that moment out of my head because I don't understand it."

He drew her back into his arms and sighed "I know. He's there every time you fall silent."

"I don't want him to be Scourge. I love you more than I have ever loved anybody which is what makes this so hard and confusing. I lie in bed, I think of you and stare at my ring and out of nowhere… and I feel so bad over it too like I'm mentally betraying you and I don't want to."

The confession stung in places where no other had ever before managed to hurt him but he held onto her and kissed the top of her head "But what do you want?"

"You."

"I don't share. I love you too but I won't marry someone who'll always wonder about another as well and you can't ask that of me."

"No," Eliza hung her head down "but I also don't want to lose you so what do we do?"

"Do you think you can get over whatever it is you do feel for him?"

"How could I possibly predict that Scourge? Maybe I was just sad to see him go, maybe I was just curious and now I'm confused instead but what I do know is that, whatever it is I feel… it's not nearly as strong as the love I feel for you."

He heard the quiver in her voice and when she looked back up at him, he saw her fear too "Okay."

"Okay?"

His next response came in the form of a kiss and Lord Scourge wrapped Eliza in a tight embrace "I only have one request."

"What is it?"

"Don't contact him again. Let him go completely so you can move on and we can move on together."

"I…" Eliza swallowed hard and hesitated. She'd been wanting to call him, to apologize for the way things had ended and let him know she was okay but now she didn't dare to nor did she feel brave enough to ask Lord Scourge for one final favor "Okay… no more contact I'll, you can delete his information from my comms if you want."

"Good." Lord Scourge scooped her up in his arms "Now let's get you back inside, into a hot bath and then sleep because tomorrow is a big day for you between meeting your grandparents and the Dark Council."

Eliza nodded and once inside, disappeared into the refresher while Lord Scourge exchanged his wet pajama bottoms for fresh clean ones. He waited until he heard the sounds of running water and then took her comms to delete Theron's contact details, as she'd permitted him to do. He then also made sure to block Theron's frequency just in case and did the same for his mailing address on Eliza's datapad.

"Goodbye Shan."

Daylight. Bright fluorescent lights—they did nothing to cut through the dark clouds Theron felt clinging onto him. His world was a blur. The words his SIS Director Marcus Trant spoke to him fell on deaf ears though he nodded out of habit. He shook the man's hand and mumbled a few words, agreeing to a temporary desk-job before rushing back out of the SIS Headquarters on Coruscant.

Once outside Theron cursed the brightness of the city. Smiling faces were everywhere and it felt like the world was mocking him. How could anything ever feel good again after what he'd gone through? After losing her, one way or another and while he still didn't know if she even survived.

"Hey man." he felt a hand slap his shoulder as his best friend fell in at his side "You've looked better."

Theron gave a minor shrug and allowed Jonas to lead him over to the nearby caf shop, The Bean, where they secured a corner booth far away from the other patrons and sat down.

"Talk to me, what's been going on with you? I mean I thought I wore the crown here when it comes to causing trouble and playing outside the rulebook but you… disavowed rogue agent, teaming up with Imps, taking on the Revanites and your ancestor, what the hell man?" the questions poured from Jonas' lips.

He casually leaned back in his seat and winked at the waitress who brought them both a pot of caf and a set of mugs "I'll have a beer with that gorgeous and a slice of blatberry pie if you got any left."

"Beer?" Theron raised a brow after the waitress had left "It's barely noon."

"I was trailing a mark all night."

Jonas gave him a curious look and lightly kicked him from under the table "So, are you going to spill or do I need to drag it out of you?"

"I met someone."

"Was she worth this whole mess you got yourself into?"

Theron nodded "I'd do it all over again if it meant seeing her once more…"

He sighed heavily and waited as the short blonde returned with their order. Jonas slipped a few extra credits into her apron, an obvious attempt for physical contact with the girl and Theron just rolled his eyes.

"I may have killed her." he dropped the bomb once they were alone again.

"You, what?" Jonas' eyes widened as he took a swig of his beer "Okay you're gonna have to start from the beginning mate because that makes no sense."

An endless fountain of words fell from Theron's lips as he told Jonas everything—from Satele calling him to Tython to meet with Eliza to their final moments together on Yavin Four. The kiss, the fight and everything which had happened in between.

Jonas stared at him in disbelief and tried to drown out some of the shock as he finished off his beer and signaled for the waitress to bring him another "Wow."

"Yeah."

"Arielle… or Eliza now I guess, she's the Hero of Tython isn't she? I heard rumor she'd defected… quite a stunner though right? I'm actually a little jealous right now. I met her a few years ago but couldn't break through her defenses… ended up spending the night with her friend instead. Little ginger, Kendra or Kayden or something."

"Kira." Theron corrected.

"Right, her. Damn. So the first time you've ever really fallen for someone and she flees to the Empire…"

Theron shot him a look and shook his head "It was always her home I guess."

"Hmm and now you think she might be…?"

"I don't know. He took her aboard their shuttle and they disappeared. I asked Satele to contact Marr's fleet and find out but she refused claiming it's better this way and I need to move on. I think she might be too scared to find out herself."

Jonas frowned "But she's Jedi and as you said, they were close once. She woulda sensed it right?"

"I'd think so too but who knows… and I've tried to call but for the first few days there was no answer and now I just get disconnected immediately as if her comms are out of service or, maybe she's locked me out."

"Or he has," Jonas offered "That Sith she's with, Lord Grumpy?"

The first faint smile in days reached Theron's lips "Lord Scourge. And I wouldn't put it past him."

"Still, I wish I knew whether she was alive or not at least… I can't put her from my mind. I don't even have to close my eyes to see her, to feel her all around me, to recall the sweet smell of her hair and the touch of her lips. I thought the kiss might bring me closure but…"

"Yeah. You're screwed." Jonas laughed.

Theron didn't. His expression turned sour again as he glanced down at his still full cup of caf and he sighed.

"I know someone." Jonas started "Can't tell you who, she's a little shady, absolutely beautiful and a double agent but she's got her fingers in Intelligence, could call in a favor if you'd like? See what she can find out?"

A small sense of relief fell over Theron and he nodded "I'd appreciate it…"

"Good. And in the meantime, there's this new girl working the front desk back at headquarters, she seemed very interested in your return."

"Yeah? And what would you say she was more interested in? My last name or just the idea of dating a rogue agent?" Theron grumbled.

"Point taken." Jonas grinned "But one of these days you'll have to put yourself back out there, if only to get over this Eliza girl."

"Yeah… some day."

Eliza let her loose curls cascade down her shoulders and smoothed a crinkle out of her silken green dress as she checked her reflection in the mirror.

"You look beautiful." Me'ghan smiled "Now don't be nervous, they're very good people and they've missed you."

"I'm not nervous…"

She sank down onto the pouffe near her dressing mirror and slipped into her high heel sandals "I'm looking forward to meeting them at last."

"Then why the frowns and vacant expressions? You've been quiet and off all morning."

Me'ghan pulled up a chair next to Eliza and took her hand "Talk to me."

"It's nothing."

"You're a bad liar."

Eliza blew out a deep breath and nodded "I know I just… even thinking about it makes me feel so bad."

"Is it Theron?"

"Partially yeah."

Idly she played with the engagement ring around her finger "Scourge and I talked last night and I told him how the kiss had confused me… he's wanting me to get over it and I agreed to keep Theron out of my life for good but…"

"You're having doubts now?"

"In a way. I mean he's probably right and this whole thing has hurt him enough already but… I don't feel right just leaving Theron in the dark either. He's probably shocked and worried and I know he never meant to hurt me."

Me'ghan gave her a sympathetic smile "No, he never meant to hurt you but he meant to hurt Scourge. I mean he wouldn't have succeeded but—"

"Yeah but Scourge flew at him first, Theron was defending himself. I begged both of them to stop and walk away… and he really wailed on Theron, he was going to kill him."

"Eliza," Me'ghan sighed, feeling as though she still wasn't hearing the entire story "do you love Theron?"

A small tear trickled down her niece's cheek "I don't know… when Scourge told me how Theron felt, I thought it was so ridiculous and then Theron confessed his feelings and it was like I suddenly saw him in a new light. I don't know what that means, I'd hoped letting the kiss happen would clue me in but all it did was leave me even more confused. About him, about Scourge and about myself and I don't understand this."

"I love Scourge, I think I always have and I know I don't have a lot of experience with the whole dating and romance thing but it's always felt right so what is this? What's wrong with me?"

A knock sounded at the door and Eliza quickly brushed her tears away as Quinn entered "They're here, are you ready?"

"Give us a minute love." Me'ghan kissed his cheek and shooed him out the door again.

"Eliza I don't think there's anything wrong with you" Me'ghan took her hands and pulled her up to her feet "you've just been confronted with a new aspect to being in a relationship and it's not easy but… Look, how about you and I go for drinks tonight and we can discuss this further?"

"Drinks?" Eliza gave her a small chuckle "You're pregnant and I have that thing with the Dark Council, who knows how that'll turn out."

"Well we'll think of something. Just know you have a friend and confidant in me okay? I mean I might be your aunt but we're the same age and I do know a thing or two about these types of situations. I wasn't exactly a saint before I met Mal." Me'ghan winked.

"Alright… thank you. I'm ready now."