Note- There is a lyric change in the song- the word "for" is changed to "on."
Jason Morgan and Alexis Davis, canon
September 2010
Instant Addiction
Part 16
On Saturday morning, Jason walked out of his shower and into his bedroom to see Alexis sleeping in his bed. Her long brown hair fanned out on his white sheets. The sunlight cut a swatch through the room, falling on her, basking her in its glow.
She took his breath away. He'd looked at her almost every day for over a decade but not until he really needed her...and some relief from misery...did he look at her like this. And she looked damn good to him now.
Jason knew it wouldn't always feel quite like this. Time changed and rearranged everything. He was prepared for time to fuck with his happiness eventually but for right this second he could stand at the bottom of his bed and just enjoy the sight of Alexis laying there.
Hot. Loyal. Brave. Never broken by this fucking shit hole town and all it did to them. By the business Jason was in...and how it kept trying to ruin her...but it couldn't. She was a Cassadine and she ruined people, not the other way around.
He could have asked several different women to go upstairs with him after that wedding last week (Lainey looked good to Jason, then there was always Olivia who had a real thing for him, or Kelly or even Kate, who looked at him like she'd like to have some intense hate sex to pay Sonny back) but no other chick could have filled in the empty spaces in his life so quickly and completely.
Jason was not one to get mushy. Only a few people made him that way. But he could admit the truth in his own head: he wanted to keep waking up to see Alexis in his bed.
His life was not done, like he used to tell himself. He had time to feel good left. Time to take just a little bit of happiness for himself again. It was about damn time he did something about his miserable little existence. And that something was not adding more pictures to a lockbox. It was adding Alexis to his everyday life.
There was no fear. When its right, its right.
(Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain.
Once or twice was enough
and it was all in vain.
Time starts to pass
before you know it
you're frozen.
But something happened
on the very
first with you.
Pain melted to the ground,
found something
true.
And everyone's looking around thinking I'm going crazy) (Leona Lewis)
Jason heard a familiar pounding on his door. Since he was dressed in just jeans, he quickly grabbed a t-shirt from his door and jogged downstairs. He slipped on the shirt, and still barefoot with wet hair, answered the door.
"Carly," the word was infused with warmth, and a million things only she would understand.
"Hey, Jase. I'm glad you're home." She walked in, carrying her daughter. "Guess who misses you?"
Carly thrust Maggie Jay Jacks into Jason's arms. He smiled and held his god daughter. "Hey." He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
She was just ten months old, with bright blue eyes and a shock of light blonde baby fine hair. Jason really thought she was beyond beautiful and perfect. She grabbed his nose. He chuckled and told Carly "I know you didn't come by just because Maggie missed me."
Carly was looking around his place. For a second he wondered if it looked obvious what had went on the night before but he couldn't see anything that hadn't been cleaned up already. Though he hadn't told Carly he was having Alexis over last night had been his first night back in town after four days away, and Carly wasn't stupid.
The next words out of Carly's mouth were "I won't stay long and interrupt your date."
There was a certain feeling Jason got when talking to Carly about her husbands and his girlfriends. It was not a good feeling at all. More like a heart clutching, hold your breath, shut down your brain feeling. He tried to push past it. "What do you need?"
"Nothing important. I was just taking Maggie to the park and we drove past your place, and I wanted to see how Maxie redecorated."
He knew better than that. "You're snooping. Quit it."
"What, Jase? I wanted to see what she did. Where is this couch from? Is it imported?"
"You wanted to catch me with Alexis."
"I've caught you with enough women to know I don't like it. Why would I put myself through that?"
"You tell me."
Maggie Jay let out a cry, her face turning red, and reminding Jason of Carly. He bounced her until she was smiling again.
Carly walked close to Jason and touched his arm. "I just wanted to see if you're happy with her...like you thought you would be last week....so....are you?"
He just looked at her for her answer. Its all he needed to do. In truth she had her answer the second he opened the door- like she knew she would when she dressed her little girl in a pink sundress that morning and plotted to crash Jason's date.
Carly went on "You have great instincts so I should have figured!"
She leaned against his arm, staring at her daughter and added "M.J. did miss you. Are you coming over tomorrow night? If Morgan's team wins their baseball game they'll be league champs and you know they're gonna win because he's gotten so much better now since his days of running the bases backwards for t-ball. I'm having cake and ice cream for him and he wants you there."
"I'll be there then."
"Six thirty."
He passed her the baby, kissed Carly's forehead and then said "Have a good time at the park."
Carly smirked. "You have just a decent time with Alexis."
Jason shook his head at her logic and laughed. He opened the door for her and she left. He let out a long breath. He could handle this. They could handle this. It was better than with Robin, Brenda, Sam or Liz. All of those times were messy. Jason made them messy by lying. Courtney was complicated- every day and every moment complicated. But Carly supported that at least. She'd support this too. Looking at Jason she'd know and she'd get on board.
He trusted and loved her enough to believe in her. And this time he did things right, he told her the truth without waiting months and months for her to figure it out herself. He didn't blind side her and so she didn't feel disrespected. He was getting better at this. It had only taken a decade to start to get the balance just right.
His phone rang. He walked over to the desk and picked it up. "Morgan."
"Jason," his sister Emily's voice broke.
"What's the matter?"
"Jason, its..." she whimpered.
"Tell me what's wrong."
He heard crying and his heart raced in panic.
A different voice came on the line. "Hey, its me," Liz said "Lucia is at General Hospital. She has meningitis. Can you come down and sit with Emily? She needs you."
"Has....has someone called him?"
"Not yet."
"Tell Em I'm on my way."
XXXXXXXXXXX
Elizabeth Drake hung up the phone at the nurses desk and then wrapped her arm around the back of her friend. "He'll be here soon."
Emily nodded. Her eyes were haunted. Just a year before she didn't know what the hell she was going to do about being pregnant with a baby from a relationship she called a fling- back when her head was a wreck, back before she even had her memories back, when she was Rebecca running from her feelings for Nikolas. And who did she run to?
The exact arms of a man who she had no business tangling her life up with, and now her baby daughter's life.
She couldn't call him. See him. Want to lean on him. Want to believe in him. Not when she knew better. He loved another woman now. Emily had told him he didn't belong in her life and he believed her. But he was a good father. He should know his girl was sick...Emily just couldn't think straight right now.
She needed to be held. She wanted to be held by Lucky, her best friend, but he was on a stake out. She really needed her brother Jason to come there, hug her, and make her feel like her daughter was not about to die.
Liz said "Let me call Johnny."
Emily whispered "Call him," then she turned and headed back to the Neo Natal Intensive Care Unit. Her fourth month old baby girl was so sick that her life could end today.
The baby she didn't want to have...the baby she couldn't live without now. Lucia changed her whole world. Healed her when she was lost after Helena brainwashed her, and made Emily feel a soul shaking connection to a mob prince.
A mob prince who believed her when she said she didn't want him. That was what she believed too, at the time,- five months pregnant and confused as hell. But now, all these months later, when she looked in her little girl brown eyes she saw the man who made love to her when she was wrecked, and who she told that she never loved at all.
Such a lie. Whatever she did feel for Johnny now was powerful and it was reinforced every time she looked at Lucia. Her beautiful little girl....her sick little baby girl...her baby....Emily sobbed, as she leaned against the wall outside the intensive care nursery....thinking: My Lucia.
(My heart's crippled by the vein that you keep on closing.
You cut me open and I
keep bleeding
Keep, keep
bleeding love.
I keep bleeding.
keep, keep
bleeding love.
keep bleeding.
keep, keep bleeding
love.
You cut me open.)
