Chapter 48
10:00 AM – The Next Morning
The fog of sleep slowly lifted over Bella's mind as she became aware of a soft sound in her ear. After a moment, she realized the sound was a cat purring; Splat. He was sleeping next to her as he always did and Bella remembered she had run away from home and she was currently using an apartment building that was under construction, as her new home. The weird thing was, she didn't hear the rumble of the busy New York traffic outside the window and she was sleeping on something softer than the thin makeshift mattress she'd made out of some drop cloths she had found in the building. She frowned at the strong smell of coffee and the sweet smell of banana nut pancakes in the air. Where was she?
Bella slowly opened her eyes, meeting Splat's gaze, before noticing that she was in her room at home. Realization dawned and she remembered the events that had taken place yesterday. She was home. Max had found her, and Mom and Greg had gone to pick her up last night in New York. Bella smiled sleepily at the thought of being back home with Mom and Greg. They still loved her and she was more than happy that she didn't have to take care of herself anymore. Mom wanted her and Greg loved her…that's all that mattered now.
She rolled over onto her back and pushed the covers off of her body. Mom wasn't there with her; she was probably making the breakfast that she currently smelled. Bella got out of bed and made her way out of her bedroom. She slowly walked toward the kitchen. Upon entering, she saw her Mom standing at the stove in her pajamas, with her cell phone between her ear and shoulder, talking to someone at the hospital while she simultaneously flipped a pancake.
"No, tell him I won't be back until tomorrow and he can meet with me then. If he becomes a problem, call me. Thank you, Regina. Bye." Mom hung up the phone and set it down on the counter. She caught a glimpse of Bella standing in the doorway of the kitchen and turned to face her with a smile.
"Hey, baby girl, did you sleep ok?"
Bella smiled and nodded her head. "Yeah." Bella said softly, walking into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Do you got to go to work?"
"No, they're fine without me for one day." She told Bella with a chuckle.
Bella smiled and made her way over to give her Mom a hug, winding her arms around her waist.
Mom hugged her back and placed a kiss on top of her head. "Are you hungry?"
Bella nodded. "Did Greg have to work?" She asked, tilting her head up to look at Mom.
"No…he just left to meet Wilson at his apartment so they can bring Mattie's boxes over. I hope that's ok." She told Bella softly as she brushed a stray curl behind her ear.
Bella nodded, as she slowly dropped her arms from around her Mom's waist and took a step back. "Mom, you're burning the pancakes." Bella told her, a low chuckle escaping her lips.
Mom's eyes grew wide as she whipped around and grabbed the spatula, removing the burned pancakes from the griddle. "Damn it." She swore, turning the eye off on the stove with an aggravated sigh.
"It's ok, we can make more." Bella reassured her with a smile.
Mom smiled at her as a chuckle escaped her lips. "Yeah." She replied with a shake of her head. "At least I didn't burn all of them, there should be enough for both of us." She added, gesturing toward the plate she'd already placed a few of the banana nut pancakes on.
Bella nodded in agreement.
Mom took the plate of pancakes over to the breakfast nook and set it down. She had already set the table, so Bella sat down, happy that Mom had made her favorite breakfast. Mom poured Bella a glass of milk and a cup of coffee for herself. They ate in silence for a few minutes as Bella thought about the fact that Greg was bringing Mattie's stuff over there soon. She would finally lay eyes on his stuff after almost two years and she felt a little nervous about it. Bella felt like taking it slowly today, she didn't want to dive right into an emotional situation.
"Mom."
Mom looked up at her as she chewed her food.
"Is it ok if I wait till later to look at Mattie's stuff?"
She furrowed her brow at Bella's question as she swallowed her food. "Bella, of course it's ok. I want you to be comfortable looking though his stuff. You've been through a lot lately and I don't want you to be stressed over it, ok? No one is pressuring you to do anything before you're ready."
Bella nodded. "Its just cuz I haven't seen his stuff in a long time and…." She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, it'll be sad to see his stuff again and I don't want to feel sad right now."
Mom gave her an understanding smile and nodded her head. "I understand, Sweetheart." She replied as she reached over and gently caressed Bella's cheek with her thumb. "Why don't you and I finish breakfast and then go for a walk around the neighborhood, ok?"
Bella smiled and nodded, liking that plan. "What about Greg?"
"We'll call him to see if he wants to join us."
Bella's smile grew as she nodded once more. "Ok." She replied with excitement.
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10:45 AM
Cuddy and Bella had finished breakfast, making small talk and just enjoying each other's company. It had seemed like a long time since they'd done that and Cuddy was happy that she was able to do that once again with her. Cuddy had just changed her clothes and was tying her tennis shoes for the walk she and Bella were going to take together, when her cell phone rang on the nightstand.
She reached over and looked at the caller ID, smiling when she saw it was House. "Hey." She answered.
"Hey. The kid up yet?"
"Yeah, we're going to take a walk around the neighborhood and I'm hoping Bella and I can talk a little about what happened, do you want us to wait for you?"
"No, go ahead without me. Wilson and I will be back with the boxes in a few minutes. He said he wanted to see Bella, so we'll be there when you get back."
"Are you sure, House? I don't want to leave you out of anything. We can wait until later if you want."
"I'll be fine, Cuddy."
"Your leg is bothering you more today, isn't it?" She whispered, not wanting Bella to overhear in case she happened to walk by the bedroom. Cuddy knew House was sensitive about appearing weak in front of Bella so she wanted to respect that. She didn't agree with it, but she needed to respect it.
She heard him sigh over the phone. "Yeah."
"House, we can wait for you and have our talk in the living room if you want to join us. I want you with us." She told him softly.
"No, just go, Cuddy." He told her.
"Ok." She gave in, not wanting to push him. "We'll see you when we get back."
"See ya." He replied, hanging up the phone.
She hung up with a sigh. Cuddy didn't know if he was regretting his decision to help her raise Bella or if he was feeling insecure about his ability to do so, but she needed to ask him. He didn't seem to be feeling any regret yesterday, but this was the second time he had left her to talk to Bella alone. They needed to clear this up because if he had changed his mind, she didn't want to wait until it was too late to find out.
Cuddy stood up and made her way out of the bedroom in search of Bella. She glanced into her room, seeing her on the floor playing with Splat. She had one of his toys and was dragging it across the floor as Splat swatted at it and jumped up in the air, pawing at the toy on the end of the string. Cuddy smiled at them, and leaned her head against the frame of the door, once again feeling happy that her daughter was home.
After a moment, Bella glanced up with a smile on her face as she giggled at Splat. "Hey Mom, did you see how high Splat jumped up to grab the string?" She asked.
Cuddy nodded. "Yeah, I saw him."
"He loves doing that." She responded, still giggling.
"Yeah. Are you ready to go?" Cuddy asked her softly.
"Mmhmm." Bella replied, standing up as she gave Splat a scratch behind his ears. "Bye, Splat." She told him.
Cuddy and Bella made their way outside. It was a nice, sunny day and the temperature had grown a bit warmer from the previous day. Bella hopped down the steps to the sidewalk before grabbing onto Cuddy's hand as she walked down the steps and onto the sidewalk behind Bella. They walked in comfortable silence for a while as she thought of how she wanted to start the conversation. Bella spoke first, cutting off her thoughts.
"Mom, did you tell Grandma that I ran away?"
Cuddy looked down at Bella as she lowered her head and stared at the sidewalk. "No, I didn't tell her, baby. I didn't want her to worry and I was already worried enough that I didn't think I could handle having that conversation with her." She explained.
"I'm sorry I worried you, Mommy." She mumbled.
"I know, Sweetie. I just want to know if you're ok, Bella. The last two weeks have been hard on you too, especially because of the reason you left." Cuddy replied. "I guess I just need to know that everything is ok between us and I want to know everything that happened while you were gone. Where did you stay, how did you find food? Everything, Sweetie."
"Can't we just forget about it, Mom? I don't want to talk about what happened." She told her with a pout to her lips as she looked up at Cuddy.
"Sweetheart, us not talking about things is what got us into this mess, don't you agree? If we don't clear the air and talk about it, it could happen again. I cannot go through that again, Bella, and I certainly don't want you to either. Can you just tell me where you were the whole time?"
Bella nodded. "I was in a apartment building that was being fixed up. I was ok, but I missed being at home."
"Why didn't you call me to come get you? I would have in a heartbeat, you know that, don't you?" Cuddy told her gently.
"I do now." She mumbled.
"Bella." Cuddy said her name softly, stopping their progression down the sidewalk and turning Bella to face her. She leaned down to look into her eyes. "I'm so sorry if I ever made you think that I didn't love you. By not telling you that we knew about Mattie, I thought we were protecting you from talking about him when you weren't ready to. House and I thought it would be better if you told us about him when you were ready to talk; we didn't want to rush you. What happened to you was so…incredibly traumatic, Sweetheart, and that's why I wanted to send you to Dr. Sloane. I thought maybe you would tell her what happened or that maybe she would help you to get to the point where you could tell us about it. Understand?"
Bella shrugged her shoulders. "I guess. But you pretended you didn't know and that's like lying." She stressed, looking away from Cuddy as her eyes brimmed with tears. "The whole time you knew and you never said nothin'." She mumbled.
"Bella, I tried so many to times to get you to talk to me and you wouldn't. But I suppose you're right, a lie of omission is still a lie. I just didn't think of it that way at the time and I didn't know it would hurt you this badly. I thought it would hurt you more if we did tell you we knew. But I need you to understand that House and I never lied about how much we love you, ok? And we are so sorry we hurt you. Will you please forgive us?" Cuddy asked her as she looked into Bella's eyes.
Bella slowly nodded.
"Thank you. I love you so much, ok? You can always come to me for anything and I'll do my best to help you. I want you to know that. And…Bella, please don't ever run away again…I don't think I'd survive it if something happened to you."
"Ok." She mumbled, winding her arms around Cuddy's waist. They held each other for a few minutes in silence as Cuddy placed a kiss on Bella's head and gently combed her fingers through her hair. After another moment, Cuddy heard Bella's muffled voice as she continued to hug her. "Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"How many people knows what happened to me?"
"Uhm…Wilson knows. Chase and Cameron only know that you had a brother that died in New York and that you ran away, but that's it, they don't know the circumstances. Grandma knows everything, as does your caseworker, Janine, and her brother, Max. Dr. Sloane knows you ran away, but she doesn't know much, if anything, about Mattie. We didn't tell her because that's something you need to do."
Bella was silent for a moment, releasing Cuddy from her hug and turning away from her. "That's a lot of people." She replied solemnly.
"Yeah…but every single one of them will help you through it; especially me and House."
Bella didn't respond as she gently kicked a rock on the sidewalk into the road. After a moment of silence, Cuddy moved to stand beside Bella, gently taking her hand and squeezing it in reassurance. Bella held onto her, but still didn't say anything.
"Do you want to go back?" Cuddy asked her softly.
Bella shook her head.
"Come on, let's walk to the park." Cuddy suggested, gently tugging on her hand.
Bella followed in silence until they got to the park. There were a few people walking around the long trail that bordered the park and there were a few young children on the playground, but it was otherwise relatively quiet. They chose to sit over on the swings side by side as Bella gently kicked the sand with her tennis shoes as she continued to think through what she had just learned. After a few moments, Bella looked up at Cuddy.
"Mom, for a long time I didn't have nobody to take care of me but Mattie, and now there's lots of people that want to take care of me; like you and Greg and Grandma and James and Chase and Allison." She pointed out.
Cuddy smiled at her and nodded her head. "That's true."
Bella nodded. "It's ok that they know about Mattie. I thought about it, and if they know then that means that Mattie will be remembered by lots of people, not just me. That makes me happy." She added.
Bella's words made Cuddy tear up as she nodded in agreement. "You're right."
Bella nodded once more, picking up speed on the swing. A few moments later, Bella glanced at Cuddy again. "I bet I can swing higher than you." She challenged, drawing a laugh from Cuddy. Cuddy hadn't expected that from her but she realized that Bella was probably tired of the serious mood and conversation.
"I bet you can't." Cuddy replied, arching her eyebrows and picking up speed as well. She hadn't done this since she was a little girl and it felt great. She loved that she could share this moment with Bella. After everything that had happened recently and the bad times they'd just gone through, Cuddy was glad that they had come out of it closer than they were before. It gave her hope that no matter what happened, they would get through it and be stronger for it.
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One-Hour Ago
House hung up the phone after talking to Cuddy. He felt bad for leaving Cuddy to talk to Bella but the truth was he didn't know what to say to the kid after last night. What else was there to say? They had her back, she was safe, she knew they loved her and that was it; problem solved and crisis averted. But deep down he knew that wasn't true. Cuddy had told him this morning that Bella had gone to the alley yesterday to say goodbye to Mattie and that's why she wanted to go through her brother's boxes. He hadn't been surprised that she'd gone and that she would want to see his stuff. House had sort of expected it but in all honesty, he hadn't expected it so quickly. He was glad that she could finally talk about him and that they didn't need to hide their knowledge of her brother anymore. He would finally get to ask her if she knew the men that had killed Mattie. But even though Bella could talk about Mattie, it didn't mean she wasn't still feeling angry or that the trauma she suffered wasn't still lingering in her mind. He would have to tread carefully on the subject and he would need to discuss it with Cuddy first. Wilson suddenly interrupted House's thoughts as he came into the apartment.
"House, do you think you could actually get off your ass and help me load the boxes in the car this time? These fuckers are heavy." Wilson groused as he made his way back to the bedroom to grab another box.
"Nope, you're doing a stupendous job, James." House replied with a smirk, standing to his feet and following Wilson to the bedroom, watching him lift the box out of the closet they had been hidden in.
Wilson grunted as he set the box down on the floor, placing his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "I need to go back to the gym. What the hell are in these things?" He commented.
"And you think I could lift this with just one good leg? I mean, I know I'm an impressive specimen of a man and you can confirm that with Cuddy, but I'm not that good." House replied.
Wilson shook his head. "Shut up. Next time get a damn dolly."
"I don't remember there being this much bitching the last time."
"There was, you just chose to block it out." Wilson replied with an eye roll.
House shook his head. "No, the last time you had Miss Hot Blonde to impress, so you couldn't bitch at me too much or you'd seem like a wimp." He snarked. "How is your girlfriend, by the way?" He added.
Wilson shifted his eyes at him as a scowl appeared on his face. "What? She's not my girlfriend, I haven't even seen her since we got the boxes from her." Wilson stammered.
House rolled his eyes. "Liar. You've been gettin' it on with her." House told him.
"No I haven't." Wilson replied defensively, shaking his head and moving to pick up the box once more.
"Yes you have. I can always tell when you've been bouncing the pogo stick, burying the one-eyed worm, feeding the kitty, hiding the sausage, giving her the ole hot beef injection." House went on, wiggling his eyebrows at Wilson.
Wilson scowled at him. "And how would you know this?" He asked, totally disgusted at the many different euphemisms he'd come up with just then.
"It's a secret, if I told you I'd have to kill you. Believe me, I know." House replied confidently. "So, how long has this been going on and why didn't you tell your best friend?"
"You tell me, since you seem to know everything." Wilson challenged.
"Ha! See, I knew you've been tickling the pickle."
Wilson scowled once more. "Seriously, how many of those can you come up with in the span of 3 seconds?"
"I could go on and on."
Wilson shook his head and picked up the box, moving past House to take it out to the car. House followed him. "I don't think you need to worry about going back to the gym when you've been sexercising with Miss Hot to Trot."
"Shut up." Wilson replied as he set the box down in the car. "Can we stop talking about this? I'm not seeing Janine."
"Who?"
Wilson rolled his eyes and made his way back inside the apartment.
House smiled as he leaned against the car door waiting for Wilson to reappear with the last box. House had already placed the guitar and violin in the car and packed a suitcase full of his clothes to take over to Cuddy's, so there wasn't anything left for him to do but wait for his friend. When he reappeared a few moments later and placed the last of the boxes inside the trunk, House made his way to the door, locked it and limped back to the car. Wilson and House got in the car and made their way back to Cuddy's house. As House drove, he noticed Wilson eyeing the suitcase in the backseat.
"Staying for awhile?" He asked, his lip twitching with amusement.
House glanced over at him, but ignored his question.
"Oh so you can give me shit about dating Janine but I can't do the same to you?"
"I'm not dating Janine…I don't even know who that is?" House replied, shrugging his shoulders with a smartass look on his face.
Wilson glared at him before moving on with his questions. "Are you moving in with Cuddy?"
"It'd be kind of hard to parent a kid and not live with them."
"People do it all the time…it's called…divorce. But I get your point." Wilson replied. "Have you told Bella yet?"
"Nope."
"Waiting till the smoke clears?"
"Yep."
Wilson nodded, a smile coming to his face. "Little Greggy is finally growing up." He commented proudly as he chuckled and glanced over at House.
"You ever call me that again and I'll be cutting Little Jamesy off." House threatened.
Wilson laughed and turned his head to look out the window as House drove them down the road. After a moment, he continued. "I'm proud of you, House. This is a big step for you...and you deserve this. You and Cuddy both deserve this and I can't think of anyone better to raise Bella." Wilson told him with sincerity.
House looked over at him with a scowl. "How long have you been waiting to say that? Did you stand in front of the mirror this morning and memorize that speech?"
Wilson turned his head as a furrow appeared in his brow. "So what if I had? Does that make it any less sincere?"
"No, but it does make you less cool." House retorted, looking out at the road once more. Several minutes passed in silence before House finally spoke again. "Thank you."
Wilson glanced at him once more before he nodded in acknowledgement of House's thanks.
More silence filled the car when House looked over at Wilson once more. "You didn't really stand in front of the mirror and memorize that did you?"
Wilson shrugged in non-chalance. "Of course not." He replied.
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12:30 PM
Bella and Mom walked into the house after spending time together at the park. Bella had tons of fun playing with her and was somewhat surprised how funny Mom could be when she wanted. They had never spent time just playing together and Bella had loved every minute of it. She wished Greg had been there too; she had missed him a lot while she was away and she had wanted to spend time with him as well.
As they walked in the front door, she knew Greg was back because she'd seen his car parked out front.
"Greg!" Bella called out.
"What?" He replied playfully, his voice coming from the kitchen.
Bella ran to the kitchen as soon as she heard his voice. When she rounded the corner she saw Greg and James sitting at the table eating lunch.
"James! I didn't know you was here." She exclaimed happily, running over to him. He stood up, just as Bella reached for him, throwing herself into his arms. Bella gave him a tight hug, winding her arms and legs around his torso. James hugged her just as tightly, a smile on his face.
"It's so good to have you back." He told her. "You had us worried sick."
Bella nodded, knowing that everyone had been worried about her. She pulled back and placed a big kiss on his cheek. "I missed you." She told him.
His smile grew at her words. "I missed you too."
Bella smiled in return and glanced over at Greg, who was seated at the table, and Mom, who was standing beside him with her arm around his shoulder wearing a smile. James put her down and Bella walked over to Greg, crawling on his lap and placing a kiss on his cheek as well.
"Hi." She greeted with a smile.
"Hey, shorty."
Mom combed her fingers through Bella's hair as she laid her head on Greg's shoulder.
"Hey, Wilson." Mom greeted him. "Thank you for helping us out again, I know House didn't lift a finger."
James chuckled as Greg glared up at her. "You're welcome. But next time he's on his own." James teased, causing Greg to turn his glare onto him. Bella chuckled at the look on his face and picked that moment to sneak a French fry off his plate.
"Hey, hey…I saw that, kid."
Bella giggled as she stuck the French fry in her mouth.
"Get your own." Greg complained when she stuck her hand out for another.
"Didn't your Mom teach to not be selfish?" Bella asked, arching her eyebrows in question.
"No. She taught me to manipulate people into buying me food and keep it for myself."
"No she didn't." Bella rolled her eyes at him and took another fry.
Greg looked up at Mom. "Cuddy, get your kid under control and make her stop eating my fries."
Mom rolled her eyes. "You have plenty, don't be a baby." Mom told him as she made her way to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. "Bella, do you want me to make you something or do you want to order lunch?" She asked her.
"I want a burger too." Bella answered.
Mom nodded and gestured toward the drawer containing the take out menus. "Ok. Get one of the menus out of the drawer and show me what you want."
Bella crawled off of Greg's lap, but before she walked away, she stuck her hand out and grabbed another French fry, quickly running away with it. Mom and James laughed at her and when she turned around to see Greg's reaction, she saw a smile of amusement on his face. She opened the drawer with the take out menus, choosing her favorite. Bella handed the menu to her Mom, pointing to what she wanted. Mom went to grab her cell phone to place the order as Bella walked back to the table.
She watched Greg eat his fries, causing him to roll his eyes and scoot the take out box over to her, offering her the French fries. She smiled at him and finished off his fries. "Thanks, Greg."
"Whatever, don't think you're getting those for nothing in return, you owe me."
Bella shrugged. "Mom's ordering more." She told him.
Greg looked at her as a scowl appeared on his face. "Why are you all sweaty, what the hell have you and your Mom been doing?"
"We went to the park and played on the playground together." Bella told him, with a smile.
"You're telling me your Mother was playing on the playground with you and the other kids?"
Bella nodded. "Mom's pretty fun, you know? She beat me on who could swing the highest. And then we played on the jungle jim and she made it all the way across…a bunch of time. And then we went on the merry-go-round but I think that one made her almost puke."
James chuckled as Greg furrowed his brow skeptically. She shrugged at his expression. "It's true…ask her."
"I will."
Just then, Mom came back into the kitchen, setting her phone down on the counter. Greg stood up and made his way over to her, taking both of her wrists and looking at the palms of her hands. She scowled at him, trying to snatch her hands out of his grasp. "What are you doing?"
Bella and James watched in amusement as Greg inspected her hands. "He's checking to see if I was making it all up." Bella told her.
She frowned in confusion. "Making what up?" She asked, looking at Greg.
"I'm just wondering if you're as fun as she says you are." Greg replied.
"What? Stop, House." She told him, pulling her hands out of his grasp.
"Your hands are slightly blistered." He commented.
"So?"
"She's not making it up." He added.
"Told you." Bella replied to Greg before looking back at Mom. "I told him you and me was playing on the playground at the park and he didn't believe me."
"Why not?" She asked, her eyebrows arched in question as an amused smirk appeared on her face.
"Because you're old." Greg answered.
Mom opened her mouth to reply, but Bella beat her to it. "Mom's not old." She defended.
Mom smiled at her sweetly. "Thank you, baby. See, I'm not old. You're just jealous you can't keep up with me." She added with a smirk.
"I keep up where it counts." He shot back, wiggling his eyebrows at her.
Bella turned her head to look at James. "They're talking about sex." She whispered.
James laughed as Mom's jaw dropped, having heard what Bella had said. "Bella, we're not…"
"Yes we are, don't lie to her." Greg told her, suddenly becoming serious.
"Then stop talking about things she doesn't need to know about at her age." Mom told him with irritation in her tone.
Bella's eyes shifted from adult to adult, unsure how she should be reacting. She decided to keep her mouth shut; she should have kept it shut before now, but sometimes her mouth worked without her brain's permission. James stood up, holding his hand out to Bella. "Bella, why don't you show me the trampoline in the backyard. I haven't seen it yet." He asked.
Bella took his hand and led him outside to the backyard. Before closing the door, she glanced at Mom and Greg, wondering if they were about to get into a big argument or not. Bella looked up at James as they made their way to the trampoline. "Are they going to have a fight because of me?"
James sighed. "It won't be because of you. It'll be because House doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut."
"But he didn't say nothing bad, did he?"
"He alluded to something a girl your age shouldn't know about, Sweetie. Your Mom is just trying to protect you."
"Greg always says stuff like that, why did she get mad?"
"I don't know, maybe because she feels you need to be protected from certain things…that's what Mom's do."
"Yeah, that's true. Mom gets real protective of me sometimes."
James smiled at her. "Lisa's a great Mom."
Bella nodded in agreement as they stood in front of the trampoline.
James glanced down at her. "So, how are you doing?"
Bella looked up at him, giving him a small smile. "I'm fine. I'm happy I'm home again."
James nodded in agreement. "Me too." He said softly, rubbing her shoulders with affection. "I'm not saying this to make you feel worse, but your leaving really affected them. Your Mom stopped eating regularly and hardly slept at all, whereas House made everyone's life at the hospital a living hell. They love you so much, you know that, right?"
Bella nodded. "Mom didn't tell me she stopped eating, but I could tell she looked different."
James nodded. "We all missed you and we're glad you're back safely."
Bella smiled up at him. "Me too. Don't worry, I won't do it again."
James smiled at her. "Good. Your Mom and House will always be there for you, but if you ever need to talk or unload about something, or if you just want someone to yell at…I'm here, alright?"
Bella chuckled and nodded in understanding. "Ok." She replied gratefully.
"Listen, I uhh, I'm not sure if they told you but, I know about…everything. I hope that's ok."
Bella knew that he meant about Mattie. She nodded in answer to his question. "I know. I thought about it and it's ok that you know about Mattie."
"I have a brother I haven't seen in a long time. He's…hell, I don't know where he is, I don't know what happened to him."
Bella reached for James' hand, feeling sad that he didn't know where his brother was or if he was ok. "I'm sorry." She told him softly.
James glanced down at her with an appreciative smile as he gave her hand a squeeze. "Thanks."
"I hope you find him someday. Maybe he misses you too."
"I don't know. He's got a lot of problems. Yeah, maybe someday we'll see each other again." He replied.
They stood in silence for a moment before Bella felt the need to lighten the mood. "Do you want to see how high I can jump?"
"I would love to." He chuckled, gesturing for her to climb up onto the trampoline and demonstrate.
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10 Minutes Ago
Cuddy saw the door close behind Wilson as Bella took him outside the house. She shifted her eyes to House's. "What is wrong with you?"
House rolled his eyes. "Oh please, I barely said anything."
"House, she was smart enough to pick up on what you meant. As her Father, doesn't that concern you?"
He sighed, averting his eyes from her. "Yeah, it concerns me. But I also don't feel the need to lie to her about it, especially given everything that's happened recently."
"I don't want her exposed to things she's too young to know about." Cuddy stressed.
He scoffed. "Where the hell have you been, Cuddy? She's already been exposed to it and as long as she goes to school and watches television or lives life in general…she will continue to be exposed to it. Hell, she's probably seen and heard worse on the streets of New York. You're not naïve, so stop acting like you are."
"I know she's lost enough of her innocence already with everything she's been through, House. But she's still a child and I wish you would just watch what you say around her."
He sighed, looking deeply into her eyes. A moment later, he narrowed them at her in suspicion. "What's this really about? You're not just upset by what I said…something else is bothering you."
Cuddy looked at him in confusion, having no idea what he was talking about.
"What's going on? You're not mad but something is definitely bothering you…I can always tell, Cuddy. What is it?" House asked as he continued to study her gaze.
"I don't know what you mean, House. I already told you why I was upset…" She answered, moving to walk away from him.
He stopped her by gently grabbing her arm. "Yeah, and we've moved on from that conversation and now we're onto the other thing that's bothering you." He replied with a sighed before softening his tone. "Tell me."
As Cuddy stood next to him, his hand on her arm, she turned her gaze up to meet his. "Do you really want to be here, House?"
"What are you talking about? I told you I want in."
"I know and I want that too, but if you're having second thoughts I want you to tell me now before it's too late and before she gets hurt."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
She sighed. "I know this is a big change for you, and I understand that talking about things doesn't come easily, but if you want to be her Father, House, we have to deal with this together. I thought we both agreed that we would deal with things together and this morning you left me to talk to her alone…again." She explained. "I'm prepared to do this on my own, so if you've changed your mind…I need to know now. I deserve to know."
House stared at her, letting the words she'd just spoken sink in to his head. After a moment, he let out a deep sigh and she knew he was about to tell her what she didn't want to hear.
"Lisa…I haven't changed my mind. I want to be here, I just don't know how." He confessed in a soft tone. He almost sounded ashamed of admitting it.
Her eyes softened as she heard his confession. Cuddy placed her hand over his on her arm, taking his hand in hers. "Yes you do…you were doing great before you admitted to yourself and to me, that this was what you wanted. And now you're freaking yourself out. Nothing has to change, Greg, just do what you've been doing. I promise you that's what she needs. I'm here for you…you just need to talk to me when you feel uncomfortable dealing with something. We handle it together, but we need to keep our communication lines open to do that."
House gave her a short nod, acknowledging what she'd told him. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go and placing a kiss on his lips. "I'm glad you didn't change your mind." She whispered to him.
He leaned down for another kiss, looking into her eyes. "I couldn't even if I wanted to. I know what I want now." He whispered.
Cuddy smiled up at him, overjoyed that he really wanted to be there and raise Bella with her. Not only that, but that he wanted to be with her as well. She laced her fingers through his and captured his lips in another soft kiss. They briefly separated before Cuddy moved to kiss him again but stopped when she heard a shriek in the backyard. She turned her head to look out the window and saw Bella jumping on the trampoline, laughing her head off. Cuddy smiled and shifted her eyes to House, noticing an amused smirk on his face. Cuddy walked over to the window, staring out at her daughter, who was having the time of her life on that trampoline. She laughed when she saw why Bella was laughing. "Oh my god." Cuddy chuckled.
House limped up behind her, seeing what she was seeing. "Oh shit, where's my camera when I need it?" He replied.
Cuddy laughed at him. "Use mine, it's in our bedroom in the top drawer of the dresser." She instructed, turning to see him quickly leave the kitchen to retrieve it.
A few moments later, House returned with the camera in hand. He handed her his cane as he turned the camera on. House lined up his shot, zooming in to his target and snapped the picture. He looked at the digital display and smiled before pointing it once more and taking several more shots. He showed them to Cuddy, causing her to laugh at the pictures he'd taken of Wilson jumping on the trampoline with the goofiest look on his face and his arms and legs flailing about as he attempted to stay upright on the trampoline.
"Oh my god…what are you going to do with those?"
"Embarrassing things…many, many embarrassing things." House replied.
Cuddy chuckled and shook her head. "Just make sure you don't embarrass him into leaving my hospital…I don't want to lose my Head of Oncology because he was too embarrassed to show his face at work because of you."
"He's been embarrassed far worse in the past than what I have planned for him, trust me." House replied.
"You're evil."
"True…it's why you love me, admit it. Because you're just as evil as I am."
"Am not."
"Are too."
Cuddy smiled at him. "You're not roping me into that argument."
"You started it." He snarked.
Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Stop trying to pick a fight with me; let's go outside and play with our daughter, jackass." She told him, grabbing his arm with one hand and handing him his cane with the other before she moved toward the door.
"Hey, bossypants, don't forget about our little rendezvous tonight. Maybe I'll bring the camera for that too." He stated with a devious smile on his face.
"No you won't, or the rendezvous will get cut short along with a part of your anatomy that is near and dear to you." Cuddy answered with a smirk before opening the door and making her way outside, not waiting for his response.
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3:30 PM
Bella was sitting on the trampoline in the backyard, eating an apple that Mom had peeled and sliced for her. She had been playing in the backyard ever since she and James had gone out there so Mom and Greg could talk. After awhile, Mom and Greg had joined them and they didn't seem mad at each other so they had played together in the backyard for a long time. About an hour ago, James had left, saying he had to get to work for an appointment he had scheduled. Earlier, Bella had been laughing as hard as she could at James when he had gotten on the trampoline and started jumping with her. He had fallen several times on his butt and had trouble getting back up because she was bouncing as high as she could, making it hard for him. She loved playing with James, he was really fun to hang out with and he always managed to make her laugh. Mom and Greg had gone back inside because Mom said she had to get some laundry done before tomorrow and she had to make some phone calls to get Bella back into her tutoring sessions as well as call Dr. Sloane's office so she could resume her appointments.
Now, as she sat outside alone and ate her apple, she heard the backdoor open and listened as Greg made his way down the steps of the deck. She didn't need to turn around to know it was him because of the way he walked with his cane.
"Hey, kid." He greeted as he stepped up to the trampoline.
Bella turned around with a smile. "Hi."
"Whatcha doin'?"
She shrugged and took a bite of her apple. "Nothin'…just eating my apple. You want some?" She offered, holding out the baggy containing her apple slices.
He nodded once and took one from her, popping it into his mouth. As he ate it, he carefully climbed onto the trampoline, sitting beside her with his legs stretched out in front of him. He looked over at her with a smirk on his face. "Aren't you tired of being outside?"
Bella shrugged before shaking her head. "No…I like it out here."
"I couldn't tell." He snarked.
"Are you bored or something?" Bella asked him. "Did Mom send you out here because you was annoying her?"
He smiled over at her. "Who me? I wouldn't do that."
"You pissed her off while she was trying to do laundry, didn't you?"
Greg chuckled and gave her a short nod. "It's one of the things I do best."
Bella giggled and rolled her eyes. She offered him another apple and as he took one he lay down on the trampoline, staring up at the clear blue sky. Bella followed suit, lying next to him. They lay there in silence for several minutes, munching on the apple slices until they were gone. Bella set the bag aside and laced her fingers together across her abdomen. She looked over at Greg, sensing that he wanted to say something to her but was nervous or scared to.
"What?" He asked her, turning his head toward her.
"You can say whatever it is you're afraid to say." She told him.
"How do you know I have anything to say?"
"You always have something to say." She told him around a chuckle, turning her gaze back to the sky.
He gave her a short nod. "Fine. I'll say what I want to say, but you're not going to like it. I haven't even talked to your Mother about it so I really shouldn't be saying anything at all."
"Then don't…Mom should know before you tell me." Bella told him. "I don't want to keep secrets no more and I don't want 'em kept from me no more. But Mom should know first."
He turned his head toward her with a scowl on his face. "Are you sure you're 8-years-old?"
Bella smiled at his question and nodded. "Yep…but I'll be 9 soon."
"Oh great that means I have to get you something." He whined.
"Yep." She replied, smiling over at him.
Greg shifted his gaze back to the sky. "Please don't tell me you want a Barbie or one of those Little Pony's or Cuddle Bears or whatever the hell it's called."
Bella scowled at him. "A Cuddle Bear? What is that?"
"How the hell should I know?"
Bella laughed at him, suddenly realizing what he meant. "Do you mean a Care Bear?" She asked.
"Whatever."
Bella rolled her eyes. "I'm going to be 9, not 6." She replied with a chuckle. Greg had a lot to learn about kids. But at least he was there and he was trying…that made her happy.
After a moment she became serious and quietly added. "Anyway, I don't need nothing. I already got everything I need." She told him. Bella didn't feel she deserved anything for her birthday after all that had happened recently. She had learned to live without the things she wanted and she didn't think she needed any of it anymore. She was lucky to have a home and people that loved her; it would be too much to want anything else.
Greg scowled at that. "Birthday presents aren't about getting what you need, they're about getting what you want. So what do want?"
She shrugged. "I don't know."
"Come on, kid, you've got to want something. What have you always wanted, but never gotten?"
"It ain't the same now…I don't want the same things I used to want because I was little and my life was different. Now I don't know who I am no more, so how do I know what I want? Anyway, I don't deserve nothing after what I did."
Greg sighed with a bit of frustration. "Oh shut up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get over it. The fact that you did something wrong doesn't mean you don't deserve to get what you want for your birthday. You deserve to get what you want. You deserve everything, kid. I thought we'd already been over this? All is forgiven, understand? And what the hell do you mean, you don't know who you are anymore? You're the same kid I met all those months ago."
"That's not what I mean."
"Then what do you mean?"
"Well, before Mom and Dad died, I wanted all the stuff little girls are supposed to want; like dolls and games and dress up clothes. Now, everything is different; I'm different because of all the stuff that happened to me and I don't want dolls and games and dress up clothes. I don't know what I want." She explained, shrugging her shoulders.
Greg nodded in understanding. He turned his head to look at her. "Look, you're one of the smartest kids I ever met, Bella. I'm not easily impressed by a lot of things, but you impressed me the first time I met you and it's because your intelligence shows through your eyes. I look at you and I know something's going on in that head of yours. You're always thinking and that's why you caught my interest. Maybe it's because of everything you've been through and maybe it's not, I don't know because I didn't know you back then. But I'm willing to bet you inherited those smarts because it's not any 8 year old that can take care of herself on the streets of one of the largest cities in the world and live to tell about it. So if you think that you're not the same little girl you were before your parents died, you're right, you're not. You've had to grow up quickly because of what happened to you…but now you need to let yourself be the little girl you used to be. You need to allow Cuddy and I to take care of you so you can enjoy being a kid. All of that shit that you had to worry about when you were on the streets is not something you need to worry about anymore…that part of your life is over. Your job is to be a kid and to want all the stupid little things kids think are cool."
Bella thought about what he said. She knew he was right; she needed to let go of her past and start a new life. Bella realized that she hadn't fully let go of everything before she ran away, and maybe not even now, but at least now she knew it. The grief she felt over Mattie's death and the anger and blame she placed upon herself had held her back from moving on. She realized she needed to allow the people that loved her to help her heal from that grief and help her release the anger she felt over Mattie's death and the blame she placed on herself for what had happened to him. She needed to let Mattie go and she knew that once she did that, she could finally move on with her life. She could finally have her life back. Not the life that she had before with her parents and Mattie…but one similar, with people that loved her and wanted to take care of her and whom she loved in return. Bella knew it wouldn't be easy and it still scared her that she had to go through it, but if she didn't…she'd never have the life she so desperately wanted back.
"Greg?"
"Yeah?"
"I always wanted roller skates." She told him.
Greg turned his head with a smile and nodded. "Then that's what you're getting."
Bella smiled back at him, rolling onto her side and throwing her arms around his torso in a tight hug, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks, Greg."
Greg wound his arm around her, hugging her back. "You're welcome, kid."
"Do you think Mom will be mad if I get roller skates?"
"Nope. She wants you to be happy, kiddo. As long as you have the proper safety equipment, she'll be fine with it. And if she still isn't, I'll work my Greg House magic on her."
Bella chuckled and nodded. They lay there in silence for several minutes as Bella thought about the boxes that were waiting for her in her room. She wanted to open them and finally see what was in them. She couldn't really remember everything that was in the boxes and Bella wasn't ever sure she knew everything that Mattie had packed in there after they left the home they had lived in their entire lives with their parents. Bella suddenly felt the need to go into her room and open them.
"Greg?"
"Hm."
"Did you open Mattie's boxes?" She asked softly, unsure why she had asked that question, but needing to know if anyone had seen what was in them.
"No, kid, I didn't open them. But I did pull out the guitar and tune it…is that ok?"
Bella nodded. "Yeah." She responded softly. "I think I'm ready to go open them now."
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