Tripping
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews!
Chapter Fifty One
Bella waited out Charlie's reaction to news of the pregnancy. She expected him to be upset, even angry. The timing was terrible. She knew that. There was so much going against them, so much to worry about. They were all essentially under lockdown for the foreseeable future while they waited for Carlisle's next move. No one knew when that would be. Now she was adding a child into the mix.
"Dad, please say something." Bella begged when he remained silent.
Charlie sighed and sat back in his chair. "What do you want me to say, kiddo? You want me to say that I'm happy about this. Well I'm not."
Of course Bella knew that was what he would say, but the words still hurt. "I know it's not the best time. I know Jake and I are both young, but this is a new life. It's happened. I believe that this baby was meant to be." She implored. Her eyes begged for understanding.
"It means you were reckless." Charlie shook his head. "I can't be happy about this. Ten years from now I'd be celebrating, but Bells you are too young."
"Mom was nineteen when she got pregnant with me." Bella refuted angrily.
"And look how well that turned out." Charlie argued.
Two spots of red coated Bella's cheeks as she tried to mask her feelings. "It was different for you and mom. Jake and I are solid. We love each other."
"I loved your mother." Charlie scowled. He rubbed his aching forehead. He didn't want to argue with Bella or score points. Dwelling on the past hurt, it brought back all kinds of painful memories. He found it difficult thinking about Renee and their fraught relationship.
Bella's expression softened. She reached out and took her father's hand. "I know you loved mom. But I'm not her and Jake isn't you. I can cope with this. We've dealt with so much loss lately." She cradled her stomach, her brown eyes glistening. "But this is a new life, dad. You're going to be a grandpa."
"Oh, Bells." Charlie fought a smile. "You are the eternal optimist. Jake is definitely rubbing off on you."
"Good." Bella said stoutly as she smiled right back.
Jacob and Bella were alone with just Max for company. Billy and Charlie had retreated to the garage to give them some privacy, Billy to do some paperwork in the small office and Charlie to work on the cars. Bella felt a lot calmer after talking things through with her father. After their initial conversation they had moved on to practicalities. This was Charlie's forte being a practical man himself. He helped Bella draw up a financial forecast for the immediate future. They were all still living off the proceeds from the sale of the house in Forks. Even though the garage was up and running, it was still in the early stages. They had to be cautious. But after juggling things around a bit they managed to source some spare cash to put aside for the baby when he or she arrived.
Bella showed Jacob the plan. "We should have enough to buy the essentials." She told him. "Once we've both finished our on-line courses and graduated officially then you'll be able to put more hours in at the garage, meaning that Billy can book in more work. I can find a part time job somewhere."
"I don't want you to worry about any of this stuff. Just focus on yourself and the little one. I'll sort something out. I don't want you worrying about work." Jacob frowned as he studied the financial forecast again.
"Jake, I'm not an invalid. I can work and I plan to." Bella was irritated that he thought she would just while away her days doing nothing.
"I know that." Jacob put the planner down and slipped his arm around her shoulders. "I just meant that there's not much work around here. You can't leave La Push right now it's too dangerous."
Bella was crestfallen. Of course he was right. Max was lying across her feet, her toes were toasty warm. He had barely left her side since the pregnancy had come to light. He was like her personal bodyguard. She reached down and stroked him between the ears. His eyes closed and his taut body relaxed. Bella was so grateful to him. If it hadn't been for him she would have drunk some of that wine. He was such an intelligent animal. He had known before any of them. He seemed almost human at times. She glanced at Jacob. He had picked up the planner again and was studying it. Bella felt her mind drift while he was preoccupied. She thought about Victoria's letter, she still hadn't opened it. In fact she was a little afraid to.
"What are you thinking about so hard?" Jacob asked after a while. He caressed Bella's face gently. She was frowning as if deep in thought.
Bella leaned into his touch and smiled faintly. "I was just thinking about Victoria's letter."
"Oh, I see." Jacob continued to stroke her face soothingly. With everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours the letter had slipped his mind. "Do you want to read it now?"
"I'm scared." Bella confessed.
Jacob hated that she felt that way. He gathered her in his arms and kissed her lightly on the lips. He let his mouth linger on hers, while gently stroking her face. He felt her relax against him, which was his intention all along. "Do you want me to read it first?" He offered.
Bella shook her head. "No, I want us to read it together."
"Okay." Jacob watched as Bella pulled Victoria's letter out of her pocket. It was a bit crumpled. She smoothed it out before slitting the envelope open. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Jacob checked one last time.
Bella took a deep breath. "I'm sure." With trembling fingers she pulled the letter out of the envelope and began to read.
"If you are reading this letter then it means I'm dead. I am so sorry, sweet child. I am so sorry that we never really had a chance to get to know one another, to spend some quality time just talking, reminiscing, and sharing the past. We've both been robbed. My one consolation is that I know that I am leaving you in safe hands. It gladdens my deadened heart that you have found a loving man who worships the ground you walk on. I never had that, and as much as I respect your father, I feel he never felt the same intensity of feeling for my darling Renee.
I can only hope that what I'm about to do will put an end to Carlisle Cullen's wickedness. He has spent years building up his power base, ingratiating himself with the most influential people in this part of the world. If I take him out it will all crumble to dust. Without him his followers will be rudderless. Even though you may regard your amnesia to be an affliction, in a way I am happy that it prevents you from recalling what happened on the night of your accident. You deserve peace. Peace I strived so hard to find myself, but failed, until I reconnected with you. You brought me happiness in my final days walking this earth, sweet child. I love you. You were borne of my flesh and are part of my soul. May we meet again, dearest one.
Love,
Victoria"
Bella buried her head against Jacob and cried. She couldn't help it. It was like losing her all over again. Jacob held her as she wept for all those lost years, for all the times that she would never get to share with the grandmother she never knew existed. If Victoria had survived how different life might have been for Renee, for all of them. Carlisle had robbed them of so much and a bitter hatred for him swelled in her heart. He was a murderer. He tore innocent people's lives apart for his own gain. He was trying to do it to her now. Bella felt that Victoria was wrong on one score. She wished she could remember what had happened on the night of her accident. Maybe then it would give her so many of the answers that she craved.
Jacob could read Bella so well. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He kissed the top of her head, trying to soothe her, wishing that he could take away her pain and distress. None of this could be good for the baby. He needed to calm her down. "I know you're mad, honey." He said eventually. "But you need to try and relax."
Bella pulled out of his embrace and looked at him bitterly. "How can I relax, Jake? How? I'm still in the dark about everything. There are so many holes in my memory. If I could only unlock it then maybe we wouldn't be in this mess. I hate Carlisle Cullen. He has robbed me of everything. He hurt my mom, he hurt my grandmother. Do you know the worst thing?"
"Hush, Bells." Jacob pulled her against him and cradled her shaking body against his. She was quivering with anger.
"I said do you know the worst thing." Bella cried as she pushed against him until he was forced to relax his hold. She rubbed at her eyes furiously; frustrated that she couldn't stop the tears from falling. "The worst thing is I never even got to know Victoria's full story. Esme is probably the only other person who could have told me, now she is probably dead too. I mean who was the asshole who abandoned Victoria when she was pregnant with my mother. Why would he do that? Where is he? Is he still alive? There are so many questions."
"I know, honey. I know." Jacob enveloped her in another hug. This time Bella didn't fight him as he rocked her in his strong arms. Over the top of her head Jacob noticed wolf acting strangely. The dog was visibly upset. He had been ever since Bella had brought up the subject of her absent grandfather. Wolf suddenly seemed aware that he was being observed. He whined, his expressive dark eyes meeting Jacob's for a second before he sloped off, tail down and ears flat to his head in a submissive posture. Leaving Jacob wondering what the hell was wrong with him.
A/N-thanks for reading! The mystery deepens…..
