Rule 137. The pillars are to be removed from the base immediately!
Yavuz Sultan Selim, ex-Goeben, yawned as she sat up in bed. It had been a long day of swatting light cruisers and destroyers in the Aegean, and the ex-German battlecruiser had fallen asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Hauling herself out of bed, she grabbed her toiletries and opened the door to go take a shower.
Only to stare at the bone-white Corinthian pillar standing right outside her door.
"What in the heck?" she muttered. Rapping her knuckles on the pillar, she noted that it was actually stone, rather than hollow plastic or something. Shrugging, she raised her foot and kicked it square in the center, causing it to topple over and shatter into several large pieces. Stepping over the rubble, she sighed as she heard the shouts of the Scrap Iron Flotilla and the two Italian torpedo-boats that had been assigned to them. The pillars blocking the doors to their rooms were the obvious cause.
"For fuck's sake..." Yavuz groaned as she went to free her charges.
~o~
Once the destroyers and torpedo boats were freed, the Aegean Force made their way through the base, freeing their Admiral in the process. The pillars were everywhere, blocking every door and outright encircling the repair shops and fuel tanks.
As Yavuz shoved aside another pillar, she heard Voyager grumble behind her.
"Swear to God, when I find whoever did this-"
"Don't bother," Yavuz replied without even looking back. "I know who did this, and she's out of your weight class."
"Oh?" Saggittario said to Waterhen. "Well, who is it, then?"
"Over here, Saggittario," Yavuz said, waving her hand. "And to answer your question, when I find Averoff, I'm going to strangle her. This is exactly the sort of crap she likes to pull. Freaking Greek nationalist..."
There was a rustling of leaves and a high-pitched screaming. Yavuz and the lighter ships whirled around to see Averoff lying on the ground, the armored cruiser's rear sticking up in the air and leaves and branches sticking out of her twitching form.
"Owowowowowow..." Georgios Averoff. "Of all the times for that branch to break."
A chill ran down Averoff's spine, and slowly, she turned her head, face frozen in a rictus smile and dripping with a cold sweat. Behind her stood Yavuz, still in her sleep clothes but looking no less scary for it and cracking her knuckles.
"Oh, Averoff," she said sweetly. "It seems you need a reminder on how to act your age."
As the battlecruiser laid into the armored cruiser, Lupo leaned over to Stuart and whispered in her ear.
"Aren't you all only a few years younger than Averoff?"
"Don't remind me," the destroyer leader muttered.
