Chapter 52: It's Not Fair

"So, how is everything?" Lily asked May as the two women sat on the double bed and Lily painted May's fingernails.

"Good. Good now. I'm eating properly. Resting." She smiled as she watched Lily paint her nails. "How are you?"

Lily sighed softly and smiled. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" May gasped. "Really?" Her smile widening. "Oh! Congratulations!" She smiled broadly. "I would hug you but there are two things in the way: my nails and stomach!" She grinned widely. "Oh Lily! That is brilliant news! When are you due?"

"End of July." She smiles broadly.

May giggled. "Oh my gosh! Our children will be in school together!" She lifted her free left hand and blew on her nails to dry her nail varnish quicker.

"Oh yes! Please don't be boys!" Lily laughed as she closed the nail varnish bottle, placing it on the bedside table. "I don't think we could cope with another two Marauders."

The two of them laughed. "So, four months pregnant? Did you just find out or waited until it was safe?"

"A bit of both. We found out 6 weeks ago. We just wanted to make sure that the baby was healthy and I was at a safe point." She could not stop smiling. "I'm getting a little bump now." She lifted her shirt, and there was a small bump there, not obvious but it was there.

"Wait until you get to my size. Then you won't be smiling as often." May chuckled and leaned back against her many pillows. "I'm fat and fed up. You'll love this part(!)." She said sarcastically. The two women laughed and they continued talking about what the future holds for them both.


May had 6 weeks until her due date. She was getting fed up with staying in bed. She watched Sirius get ready for work, then he would bring her breakfast and kiss her. It frustrated her to the end. Sirius tried to reassure her that it would not be long until the birth of their baby. It did cheer her up but when he left her alone, she became very annoyed with him. She always did. It was a daily routine. He would make them breakfast, get ready for work and left. He would return home to a very grumpy wife.

"Why can't I come?" May whined as Sirius got ready for the latest Order meeting.

"You heard your healer yesterday. You have to stay in bed. Except for the toilet." He chuckled softly and sat on the bed next to her. "Not long now, baby." He rested his hand over her stomach. "They've been quiet today."

"I've noticed. Probably getting ready for the birth. Lazy baby. Just like their daddy." She smiled a little and rested her hand over Sirius'. "Bugger off to the meeting. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back."

"Hmmmm..." He hummed to himself softly and stroked her stomach. "Fine. Anything for you." He grinned at her. "I love you."

"I love you too." She kissed him softly. "Am I allowed in the kitchen? If I get hungry." She smirked slightly.

"Fine!" He laughed his loud laugh. "'But please rest." He urged her, kissing her once more and stood up. "I love you."

"I love you, you idiot. Now, get lost." She rolled her eyes and he winked at her as he left the room and then the flat. She smiled to herself as she relaxed in bed and promptly fell asleep. She was tired. She could not wait to have her baby in her arms. She dreamt of a beautiful baby with grey eyes and unruly black hair.


"How's May?" Peter asked Sirius as they waited for the meeting to start.

He scoffed softly. "She's good but driving me mad." He sipped his coffee. The meeting was taking place in the Hog's Head in Hogsmeade. "6 weeks to go. That's all I can think about." He chuckled again. "How's work going?"

"Oh, it's good. But not what I expected. Long hours, small pay and I feel like I'm going nowhere." He shrugged his shoulders. "I'll keep going. You never know, a promotion around the corner?" He laughed nervously. He looked around the room quickly. "Where's Remus? I thought he was coming."

Sirius looked around the room and frowned. "Oh yes. I thought he was coming too." He frowned as he looked around the room, as if he had missed Remus. "Prongs! Where's Moony?"

James looked around too. "Oh. He must be late." He shrugged his shoulders. "How's my sister? Is she still torturing you?"

"Of course." He chuckled and drained the last of his drink. "It's her job as my wife." The two of them laughed as Lily joined them and they listened to Dumbledore as he started the meeting.


May awoke an hour after she had fallen asleep. She was hungry. Again. She always seemed to be hungry. She chuckled to herself as she climbed out of bed and waddled to the kitchen. She rubbed her stomach as she made mushrooms on toast. "Hmmmm..." She moaned as she felt the baby kick erratically. "What's wrong with you?" She laughed as she buttered her toast and put the mushrooms on top. She put the hot pan in the sink but she gripped the side as she felt a massive pain in her side. "Owwwww!" She moaned. "No. Too soon." She moaned loudly. The pain was too much, she fell to her knees. "NO!" She screamed in pain.

She pulled herself to her feet. Onto rather unsteady feet. Under her nightgown, she felt a stickiness between her legs. She slowly reached under, touched the sticky stuff and pulled her her out from under her nightgown. It was blood. "No..." She whispered and fell to her knees again. "Sirius!" She gasped in shock before collapsing against the cupboards.


"Pub?" James asked Sirius. "Lily is letting me out for the night." He chuckled and winked at his wife, who was speaking to Remus.

Sirius thought for a moment and shook his head. "Better not. Best go to May. She'll kill me if I come back smelling of alcohol." He hugged James. "I'll see you in work tomorrow."Waving to Lily, Remus, and Peter before disapparating away, straight into the flat. He walked into the bedroom quietly, to see if May was asleep. "May?" He called and knocked on the bathroom door. When he had no answer, he pulled his wand out and opened the door. "May?" He called when he found it empty. He walked away and into the sitting room. "May!" He turned into the kitchen and let out a cry of despair. "No!" He rushed forward and pulled her into his arms. He could smell blood. "Baby?!" He tried to shake her awake before disapparating away to St Mungos.


James and Lily had only been home ten minutes when they received an owl. "Oh! It's from Sirius. I can barely read it." James said as he took the letter from the owl. He opened the letter as Lily filled the kettle with water. "Shit!" He swore. "May's in hospital. Sirius found her unconscious and bleeding."

Lily gasped in fright. "Oh god! Let's go." Abandoning the kettle on the worktop. The two of them disapparated out of their home.


Sirius had taken his wife straight to the hospital and then sent the note to James and Lily. She was taken from his arms and he had not heard any news about her since. He scribbled a note to James. He needed someone there with him. He sat in the waiting area, with his head in his hands. "Please. Please, let her live." Was he praying the to muggle god? He didn't know. He was just hoping for a miracle. From the amount of blood that she had lost, it was obvious that she had lost the baby. But it really hoped that would not be the news. "Pads!" James' panicked voice came into his consciousness.

"James!" Sirius stood up and the brothers-in-laws hugged each other. "She was bleeding. I think it's the baby." He sobbed in James' arms as Lily rubbed his back comfortingly. "Our baby! We were looking forward to being parents." He stood up straight and the two of them guided the broken man to a nearby chair. "Since she has been in bed, she's been knitting. Making baby clothes."

"I know." Lily spoke softly. "How long has she been with the healers?"

"A half an hour now." Sirius sighed heavily, leaning back against the chair, resting his head against the wall. "I can't lose them." A healer walked towards them and Sirius was immediately on his feet. "How is she? How is the baby?"

"Your wife is recovering. She suffered a ruptured appendix." He spoke gently. "Unfortunately, it caused premature labour. We performed a Caesarean section, which is where we cut the baby from your wife's womb. It was stillborn. I'm very sorry."

Sirius stared at the man before letting out a choking sob before he moved and sat back down. "No! No!" He sobbed into his hands as James and Lily tried to comfort him. Sirius raised his head. "Does May know?"

"No. She hasn't woken since you brought her in. Do you wish to tell her?"

Sirius nodded sadly. "Yes. She'll want to hear it from me." He stood up and took a deep breath. "Can I see her? I want to be there when she wakes." He quickly wiped away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt. "I'll be back." He nodded to James and Lily, who nodded silently. Sirius followed the healer into a private room, where May lay on the bed unconscious and thinner than usual. "Thank you." He whispered to the healer as he approached his wife, sitting on the bed next to her. "Hi baby. I'm here." He spoke softly, too nervous to reach out a touch her hand. His eyes kept looking at her stomach. Empty, and flat. Real evidence that their baby was no longer growing inside her. How was he going to tell her? He bent over and rested his arms and head on the bed. "Wake up, May. Please." He pleaded with her.


James and Lily sat outside the room. Lily quietly cried against James' shoulder. "Poor May. Poor Sirius." She spoke softly.

James had his arm wrapped around her. He, too, was crying. This was his little sister. He did not want her to be in any pain. He was very protective of her. It was in his job description as big brother. "They'll get through this. You know they will."

"James, they've lost a baby. No one should ever have that happen to them. She had 6 weeks to go." Lily cried quietly. This was hard for her. She was pregnant. She and May were looking forward to being mothers together. Now, that would never happen. "It will take them years before they are over it."

"I know." James subconsciously rested his hand on her stomach, which had a small bump hidden under her jumper. "But, we'll be there for them from the beginning."

She nodded. "Yes we will." She rested her hand over his own.


Sirius sat watching May, just waiting for her to wake up. "You didn't miss much in the meeting tonight. Remus was late though. He has never been late. Ever. Why is that?" He asked her. "Wormtail asked after you. I told him you and your hormones were driving me up the wall. Come on, May. I need you to wake up. Please." He rested his forehead against her hand. "Please."

"Sirius?" She whispered softly, her hand gripping his. "Blood!" She started to panic. "The baby!" Her hand and gaze flew to her stomach. It was soft, flat. "The baby?" She looked to Sirius. "What is it? Where is it?"

He shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry." Tears fell down his cheeks fast.

"No!" She cut him off, staring at him in disbelief. "No! No!"

"You had a ruptured appendix. If I only had gotten home on time, you both would have been okay. I'm sorry." He sobbed against her hand. "I should have come home sooner."

"No!" She sobbed louder. "Our baby. My baby. What was it?"

"They didn't tell me." He lifted his head and gave her hand a slight squeeze. "I'll go and get the healer. He needs to see you and make sure you fine." He stood up and kissed her softly. She nodded a little, tears falling down her cheeks constantly. "I love you." He smiled as he stood in the doorway.

"I love you too." She tried to smile but she failed. When Sirius left the room and the door was closed, she let out a loud sob and cried there. Her baby was dead. What was she going to do now?

Sirius returned a few minutes later and rushed to her side when he saw her crying. "I'm here, love." He sat on the edge of his chair and held her hand tightly.

"Hello, Mrs Black. I'm just here to check you over." He spoke gently. Silently, he waved her wand over her. "You're fine. All your vitals are good. I do need you to stay in hospital for two more nights, just to make sure you are well."

"Please. Our baby. What was... What... What was it?" She tried to speak. Her sobs nearly stopped her from speaking.

"A girl." He nodded sadly.

"Can... Can we see her?" May asked, tears filled her eyes. "Please. I want to say goodbye."

Her healer nodded. "I'll have a nurse bring her." He moved towards the door and stopped. "I'm really sorry for your loss. We tried to save her but it was too late."

She nodded slowly. "Thank you." He gave them a smile and left the room. Leaving the two of them alone. "A girl? A girl?" She sobbed and squeezed his hand, wanting to get rid of the pain. "We were having a girl." She stared at Sirius, her lower lip trembling. "I can't..."

"I know. Me too." He lifted her hand and kissed her palm. The door opened and a nurse walked in with the small body of their baby, wrapped in many blankets. "Oh Merlin." He muttered as the nurse moved next to May and carefully handed her the baby.

"I'll just be outside." She spoke gently and left them alone.

May was basically hyperventilating. "Oh Merlin!" She sobbed and looked down at the bundle in her arms. "Oh my baby! I am so sorry." She pushed the blanket back to see the small face. "She's so beautiful." She bent her head down and placed a feather light kiss on her daughter's forehead. "I'm so sorry." She whispered against her baby's soft, cold skin. "I'm sorry."


A/N: I'm sorry! I really am! I have had this planned for a long time. Sorry! Don't hate me! * Hides in a corner *

Responses from chapter 51:

Shailo Leto Lupin: I think he will make a fantastic father. :)

Forever Siriusly Sirius: I added Alice in Wonderland as it is my favourite book and when I have children, I will read them that story a lot! For Remus, it was only a brief love. He knew it would never happen. :)