Well, after last chapter's milestone, what exciting things do I have planned for this chapter?

Eh, not much, to be honest. Not for the main cast, anyway. Some interesting things will be happening to our friends in the other subplots, but as for the primary heroes? Well, something's going to happen, but if you're looking for really sweet super-awesome action, that won't be for a little while yet. Yes, I know, I promised this arc was going to be radical, and it is, you just need to be a little…patient, okay?

Unfortunately, that's going to have to wait until next year, since it looks like this will be the last chapter of 2010. I don't believe I'll be able to get another one done by New Year's since I'm going on a trip to Africa in a week or two, but I'll do my best. If I fail, then this will have to tide you over until then, and given that it's especially long (I swear, I don't mean to do this, they just keeps growing out of control!), you may even finish it by the time chapter 152 is ready!

Anyway, I'm glad I got this done in spite of spending so much time agonizing over finals, and I'm sure you are too. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. I could list all the things that I'm appropriating/ripping off, but that would take too long, and I don't think it's worth it, do you?

As night fell in Sinnorre, the Enchanted Express continued happily chugging down the track towards its destination of Fichina, perfectly capable of running no matter what time it was or what the weather was like so long as it was in constant motion, never stopping, never slowing down, as it locomoted towards the distant horizon. Inside the train, the passengers, who weren't quite as eternally energetic as their ride, gathered in the dining car for supper. The car, like every other area seen so far of the train, was palatial in design, about the size of a small restaurant with chandeliers hanging from the transparent ceiling through which the night sky could be seen, floating candelabras, an orchestra composed of levitating instruments playing classical music without musicians, an ornately carpeted floor that was actually a semi-living organism that ate any crumbs or bits of food that fell off people's plates to save the cleaning staff some time, and beautiful marble fountains that poured forth chocolate, wine, and ambrosia rather than water. While waiters could be summoned instantly with a ring of a bell to take orders rather than having to wait an interminable period of time for them to get to a particular table, a magical buffet was also available for use against the back wall, laden with covered trays. The contents of the trays varied, all a diner had to do was walk up to one, state the name of the food they wanted, open the cover, and voila! It would be there just like magic, which it was, of course. Almost any meal could be obtained in this manner, but even these enchanted trays had their limits, which was why they still had a chef and a kitchen, to produce some of the more…exotic dishes.

"Quite the swank eatery, isn't it, guv?" Briney murmured as he, Goldor, Silvia, and little Buck sat at the same table, the family of Psychic dolls having invited him to dine with them.

"Hmmph, I've eaten at more refined places than this," Goldor grunted, unimpressed.

Silvia rolled her many eyes. "Really, now! You're never satisfied with anything, are you?"

"I'm satisfied with the travel itinerary we've managed to cobble together with the help of the Professor here," Goldor said, nodding cordially to Briney. "Though I still would love to see some of those battlefields…" Silvia sighed and shook her head in exasperation.

"So would I, but nobody ever seems to care what I think," Buck grumbled.

"That's nice, dear," Silvia said absent-mindedly, proving his point.

"Anyway, chaps," Briney said, changing the subject. "Thank you kindly for inviting me to join you for a jolly good meal, I'm famished!"

"It's the least we could do to repay you for resolving our domestic dispute," Silvia said kindly.

"Literally, since this way I don't have to spend any money," Goldor said. Silvia glared at him.

"Thank you again for helping us plan the best way to maximize our enjoyment in Fichina," Silvia said, looking back at Briney. "You seem very knowledgeable in the history of magic and Fichina. Why, I'd be surprised if its inhabitants know even half as much as you do!"

"Yes, well, I read a lot, mum," Briney said, trying to feign bashfulness, something he wasn't used to. "Comes with the profession, wot?"

"Indeed!" Silvia agreed. "Why, I have half a mind to ask you to become our son's tutor, you certainly seem to be smarter than most of his teachers and have a way of capturing his attention that they so far…have not."

"Mooooom!" Buck whined.

"Thank you kindly, mum, but I must respectfully decline," Briney said quickly. "After all, I couldn't possibly go from teaching dozens of impressionable young minds to becoming the educator of a sole child, could I? It would be selfish, and a waste of my talents, wot?"

"I suppose…" Silvia admitted reluctantly.

"We could pay you better than whatever salary you get at the University," Goldor said.

"Probably, but I'm being considered for tenure, and I couldn't jolly well turn that down, now could I?" Briney asked reasonably.

"Hmm, I suppose that's true," Goldor admitted.

"Now, let's see what's on the menu here…whooooph!" Briney said in alarm when he saw the prices. Even the cheapest dish looked as if it would put a significant dent in the money they had picked up from Barbedo's hoarde. "I don't think I could possibly afford most of this…maybe I was a bit too hasty in turning down your very generous job offer, guv…"

"You certainly were," Goldor muttered.

"Oh nonsense, we'll pay for it," Silvia said.

"We will?" Goldor asked in alarm.

"Of course we will, the good Professor is our guest," Silvia insisted.

"Now, mum, that's really not necessary, I'm sure I could just grab something from the buffet-" Briney started.

"And turn down the opportunity to dine on a meal the likes of which you've probably never had the chance to sample before, let alone imagine? I won't hear another word of it. Pick whatever you like, we'll pay for it," Silvia said. "We have money to spare, after all."

"Well, thank you kindly mum," Briney said, perking up at this.

Goldor was less pleased. "Who does she think we are, a charity? Just because she admires Fantina doesn't mean she has to act like her…" the Claydol grumbled under his breath.

"I think this one looks good," Briney said, choosing a dish that not only looked (and smelled, since the pictures on the menu were enchanted to emit the aroma of the real thing) delicious, but was also quite expensive. He supposed it was petty of him, but hey, they were offering…

"Very good. Hmm…yes, this looks satisfactory," Silvia said, picking something for herself.

"Then I guess I'll have-" Goldor started, pointing at something on his menu.

"Oh no you don't, we talked about this, remember? You need to eat healthier if you want to maintain that shine of yours," Silvia said.

"Oh, very well," he said in exasperation. "Accursed womon…can't even let me eat what I want…who cares about looking good if you're always hungry…" he grumbled.

"I don't suppose I get to choose what I want, either?" Buck asked.

"Of course not dear, you're a growing boy and need to eat healthy as well," Silvia said.

Buck sighed. "What's the point of being rich if you can't get whatever you want?"

"I ask myself the same question all the time," Goldor muttered.

Silvia rang a bell on the table, and a uniformed Abra Teleported over. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, please," Silvia said. They requested the foods they wanted (or in Goldor and Buck's case, were forced to have).

The Abra bowed. "I will be back in a moment with your dinner." He Teleported away.

"So, while we're waiting…I don't suppose you could tell me a bit about the other nobs we happen to be sharing the coach with?" Briney asked, glancing at some of the other passengers. Much to his annoyance, privacy spells around the tables allowed diners to eat and chat with each other in silence without having to worry about anyone eavesdropping on them. Naturally, to a skilled eavesdropper like Briney, this was grievously unfair, and another reason for him to despise the restrictive spells that kept him from using his full mental abilities to snoop in people's minds without their knowledge. What was wrong with wanting to do that?

"I'm afraid I don't recognize all of them, since many of the passengers who boarded at the same time as you are new to me," Silvia said apologetically. "But…let's see…" She pointed at a blind elderly female Hypno dining at the same table as a Girafarig. "Over there are two like minds, the famed spiritualist Rebecca and the oracle Cherry. Since both of them see things that most other people can't, they're the best of friends."

Briney frowned. "A spiritualist? You mean she talks to dead people?"

Goldor snorted. "Please, anyone can do that, you just have to walk up to a Ghost Pokémon and ask them the time of night. A spiritualist is someone who communicates with spirits of another sort…as well as the souls of those who have passed beyond the pale."

"So they do talk to dead people," Briney said.

"Well, that, and things that were never alive to begin with," Silvia said.

"That's creepy," Buck said.

"Well, that's one theory for why she's blind…" Goldor murmured.

Silvia indicated the Rattata that had rather rudely slammed the door on Briney earlier. He was huddled over his plate, fervently shoving his food in his mouth as if it were the last meal he would ever have. He was wearing a bulky overcoat for some reason, and it almost looked like he was slipping some of the food on his plate into it for some reason. Briney frowned, his gut telling him to be wary of the rodent. "I'm not really sure who that one is, but I think he works for the pharmaceutical company that produces Potions and Ethers and the like."

"Ah, a very profitable and helpful business, that," Briney commented. "I can't imagine how many poor saps'd be dead without those handy miracle-workers."

"Yes, well, my business is profitable and helpful too," Goldor said with a sniff.

"I don't doubt it, guv," Briney said cheerfully. "So who's that bloke peering all over the place with his wings in front of his face?"

"That's Todd Snap," Silvia said after glancing at an Aerodactyl sitting by himself, looking at the world through a frame made by his wings, occasionally snapping them shut in the blink of an eye for no apparent reason. "He's a photographer for the Magical Times. He's riding with us to take pictures of the journey of Fantina and her vampires and document the big anti-'Nihilator' hearing that's supposed to take place when we get to Fichina, which may finally spell the end of that nasty witch Bellum and the rest of her cohorts. Oh, isn't this exciting? We live in such interesting times, don't we? Goldor, do you suppose we could watch some of it?"

"Well, I still think this Nihilator thing is just a hoax," Goldor grumbled, causing Briney to clench his fists under the table. "But I suppose it could be interesting to attend."

"Sounds boring to me," Buck complained.

"Nobody asked you, dear," Silvia said sweetly. The Baltoy grunted.

"If he's a photographer, then where's his camera?" Briney asked.

"Oh, he doesn't need one, he's a Photomancer," Goldor said.

Briney stared. "…He controls light and radiance?"

"No, he can take pictures using magic," Goldor said.

Briney frowned. "I…don't think that's what the word 'photomancy' actually means."

"Oh really? And what do you think it should be called, hmm?" Goldor asked. "Pictomancy is taken by artists who can make their paintings come to life, so there aren't really many other options for their profession."

"Well…you've got me there, guv," Briney admitted reluctantly. He stared incredulously as Todd snapped his wings shut again, then opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. A photograph of whatever he'd been looking at slid out. He peeled it off his tongue, examined it critically, then nodded and stuck it in his portfolio with the rest of his pictures from the trip so far. I really hope Leo never develops an ability like that…not only is seeing anyone produce images that way too weird even for me, just imagine the sorts of things he'd snap pictures of! Then again, it's not like he doesn't do enough of that already with his regular camera…

"I am unfamiliar with the samurai and his retinue sitting with those…deformed homunculi, or whatever it is those strange creatures are," Silvia said, looking in puzzlement at the table where Pikachu, Sasha, Dawn, and Sam and Max were sitting. Briney frowned as he looked at the duo from another world. While he'd never met them, he'd heard a great deal about them and seen more by prying into the memories of his friends, and he didn't particularly relish having to meet them in person. The longer Pikachu kept them occupied, the better. The Claydol pointed at another Pokémon sitting at the same table as Pikachu and the rest. "The Croagunk in the coat, on the other hand, is a detective from the International Police codenamed 'Looker,' or so I have heard. I wonder what he's doing here?"

"Investigating a case of some sort, no doubt," Goldor said. "Or maybe looking to see if this Nihilator and vampire thing isn't all just some big scam or publicity stunt like I suspect it is. And so long as he keeps his nose out of my business, I have no problem with him."

"Why do they call him 'Looker?'" Briney asked. "He doesn't look particularly handsome."

"Well, duh, he's a Croagunk," Buck said.

"Buck! You know you aren't to say things like that!" Silvia hissed, shocked.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever, mom."

"It's probably meant to be ironic or something, you know how law enforcement is," Goldor said.

"I'll have to take your word for it, guv, seeing as I've never had much trouble with the long arm of the law," Briney said, which was a complete and utter lie. He'd rubbed more than a few law enforcement types the wrong way what with his vigilante actions, but since they weren't competent enough to catch him or the punks he spent most of his time hunting down, he didn't really think their opinion of him mattered.

Silvia glanced around, a puzzled look on her face. "That's odd, I had heard there was going to be a Dragonite mystic by the name of Kairyu with us tonight. I guess he decided to eat in his room."

"Lousy Dragons, think they're better than the rest of us just because they can live for thousands of years, every part of them is magical, and they belong to an empire that could probably conquer the world if it felt like it," Goldor grumbled.

"I'm also not familiar with those two monks, they look like they could belong to just about any religious denomination of people who dress in robes and live at the top of mountains," Silvia said, referring to Ash and Tiny. "Those Pokémon they're eating with are supposed to be a group of adventurers called Team Getem or something like that. They're trying to gather some ancient artifacts before a nebulous evil organization can so they can save the world from utter destruction…you know, the usual thing."

Briney narrowed his eyes at the eight oddly familiar-looking Pokémon…especially the Tentacool. Something about them rubbed him the wrong way. "Well, Tauros for them."

"Back in my day, adventurers had much more original quests," Goldor groused. "These days it's always 'collect the seven mystic plot coupons before the bad guys' or 'stop the evil demon lord from being resurrected' or 'fulfill this ancient and vaguely-worded prophecy to keep the world from ending.' No sense of imagination, these modern adventures…"

"And the golden Mismagius over there," Silvia said, indicating a table apart from the rest where Fantina, Lady Bow, Leo, Lily, a Swalot, a Wooper, and an Electrike were seated, with a Duclops and Kirlia standing guard. "Is none other than Fantina Fantasma! Oh, I think this is the closest I've ever been to her! I tried to get an autograph earlier, but they wouldn't let me see her."

"Considering you were acting like a ninny, it's little surprise," Goldor said snidely.

She huffed. "I never! Why must you always say such harsh things?"

"One of us needs to keep their giant head out of the clouds," Goldor said.

"Oh, and now you're calling me fat?" Silvia said angrily.

Goldor sighed in exasperation and gave Briney a long-suffering look. "You see what I have to live with here?"

Briney clenched his fists again. Personally, he thought the soft businessmon had no idea how nice he had it. At least Goldor had a wife to argue with…there were times he had trouble remembering the sound of Peeko's voice, or the taste of her thoughts, or how her feathers had felt against his metal skin. Their recent…'reunion' thanks to Darkrai had helped to bring most of those memories back, but had also made him more keenly aware than ever of how much he missed her. Now that her murderers were dead, his obligation to help Team Aurabolt take down the Nihilators was probably the only thing keeping him from going to join her…permanently.

"Well, she's certainly a looker," Briney commented, shoving his grim thoughts away to brood over later. "And the sweet lass next to her is her daughter, Lady Bow?"

"Yes, her second youngest," Goldor said. "They say she's a formidable wind mage."

"Do you suppose she would be interested in marrying Buck?" Silvia asked, glancing at the Drifloon. "It would be a fine way to unite our families' fortunes…"

Goldor rolled his eyes and Buck turned red. "Moooom! I'm not into girls yet!" the Baltoy protested. "Plus, she's at least a hundred years older than me!"

"A hundred and seventeen, to be precise," Goldor said. "And her younger sister is maybe sixty-three, which puts both of them a wee bit out of Buck's range, I'm afraid."

Silvia sighed in disappointment. "I suppose…"

"Your obsession with the Fantasmas borders on the unhealthy, you know," Goldor continued, somewhat annoyed. "While it's all well and good to respect her, trying to be a part of her family is a bit much, don't you think? Besides, everyone would see us as gold diggers, considering she is…somewhat…wealthier than we are." It looked like it almost physically hurt him to admit this. Briney hid an amused smile.

Silvia sighed sadly. "I suppose…one can always dream, though."

"That they can," Briney said. "And those dapper chaps sitting with them are the vampires all this fuss is about, then?"

"Assuming they aren't Goths playing dress-up, then yes," Goldor sniffed. "They are."

He was loath to admit it, but Briney couldn't help agreeing a little with Goldor. The trio dining with Fantina didn't really scream 'vampire.' The Swalot had a monocle, fangs, a darker than normal complexion for his species, and a dinner jacket with a cravat, gold pin, and opera cloak, which looked rather odd on him considering how, well, bloated he was. His mustache also looked somewhat more refined and elegant than a Swalot's usually was. The Wooper had fangs, antenna shaped oddly like Zubat wings, was gray in hue and wearing a fashionable dress shirt and shoes, but otherwise didn't look especially monstrous. The Electrike had a wild look in its eyes, a muzzle covering his face, and was anchored to a table leg by a leash, and overall looked more like a rabid mutt than a creature of the night. "Not quite what I expected," he admitted.

"That's because vampires are lame," Buck said. "Werehumans are much scarier."

"Buck!" Silvia hissed.

"What? They are! Humans freak me out!" Buck said. "I'm glad they're extinct, so they aren't running around scaring Pokémon and stealing them from their homes and forcing them to beat each other up for no reason in stupid tournaments."

"Well…I suppose that's a legitimate reason to dislike them," Silvia admitted. "But it doesn't do to speak ill of the dead."

"You seem to have no problem bad-mouthing my dear departed mother even though she's been in the grave for five years now," Goldor said drily, causing Silvia to glare at him.

"What are their names?" Briney asked as he looked at Fantina's table, both pleased and envious Leo and Lily seemed to have somehow insinuated themselves to the mage and her retinue. Couldn't they have found some way to invite him or the others over without being conspicuous, or at least sent them a message to let them all know they'd succeeded in their mission? (Well, probably not, but he was too annoyed at being left out and being unable to eavesdrop via telepathy to admit that.)

"I believe the Swalot is Vladimir, the Wooper is Dean, and the Electrike is Bob," Silvia said.

Briney blinked. "Bob?"

"Yes, Bob," Silvia said.

"They probably couldn't think up a cool fake name for him, since he's just a slavering mongrel," Buck said.

"Buck!" Silvia hissed.

"What? You're seriously going to tell me their moms named them Vladimir or Dean? Those names are obviously fake," Buck said.

"He has a point, dear," Goldor said. "Those do sound like the sorts of things a pair of vampires—or wannabe vampires—would call themselves to sound intimidating."

"Professor?" Silvia asked, glaring at Briney for support.

"Er…well…I suppose those could be perfectly reasonable names, mum, depending on wherever they came from," Briney said slowly, though privately he found himself agreeing with Buck and Goldor. Those did sound like fake names.

"There! You see?" Silvia asked triumphantly. "I'm not the only one who thinks so!"

"He's just humoring you, dear," Goldor said.

Silvia gasped and glared at Briney. "What?"

"Er…I say, do you know who those chaps are?" Briney asked quickly, indicating a pair of Pokémon standing on opposite ends of the car, near the doors. One was a massive Machamp covered in runic tattoos, and the other was a Mightyena who, surprisingly enough, seemed to have learned how to stand on her hind legs, and had a couple of crossbows slung on her back.

Silvia glanced at them. "Those two? I believe they were hired to provide extra security for this trip, considering the, ah, distinguished natures of some of our fellow passengers."

"And yet I never see any additional guards whenever I'm riding somewhere…it's so wonderful to know how much I'm cared about in the grand scheme of things," Goldor said snidely.

"Those tattoos on the Machamp look magical," Briney commented.

"On the contrary, they're completely unmagical. So unmagical, in fact, that they make him immune to magic!" Silvia said. "Which makes him more than a little intimidating to mage-types like us, as you can no doubt imagine."

"That I can, mum," said the impressed Briney. "Where'd he learn a trick like that?"

"Nobody knows," Silvia said.

"Which is a good thing for him, or else the Council of Merlin'd have cracked down on it by now," Buck said.

Goldor nodded fiercely. "As well they should!"

"Rumor has it he's one of those guru types who gains their skills by sitting at the tops of tall mountains or something like that, which is why he's so strong. That, along with his immunity to magic, is probably why he was asked to help with security," Silvia said.

"What about the Mightyena lass? Is she immune to magic too?" Briney asked.

"No, she's your average run-of-the-mill mercenary, as far as I know," Silvia said dismissively.

"Aside from the fact that she can stand on her hind legs and can get an arrow off faster than most mages can cast a spell," Goldor said admiringly. "I hear she can shoot the wing off a Yanma from ten miles away, or some other ludicrously exaggerated claim of skill and marksmonship."

"Fascinating. What's her name?" Briney asked.

"George," Silvia said.

There was a pause. "Forgive me for asking, but…Isn't that a boy's name?" Briney asked.

"I think it's short for Georgina," Goldor said.

"Either that, or her parents were expecting a boy," Buck said.

"Ah. That would explain it, then," Briney said. Hmm. I'd better keep my eye on her and the Machamp. They could cause a problem if they think, what with all the subterfuge we're involved in, that we're the real threat… "What say after dinner we engage in a little socializing, get to know our neighbors, wot? After all, we're all in the same train for the next couple of days, so we might as well get to know each other a little better, eh?"

"And I might get an autograph from Fantina!" Silvia said eagerly.

"Hmm, I suppose," Goldor said grudgingly. "So long as we get it done before tonight's Delight. I forgot to set the recorder before we left home, and I'm dying to find out who's singing tonight, and if the love triangle between Will, Emma, and Jessalyn will finally be resolved!"

Briney blinked. Silvia sighed. "I don't get what you see in that show."

"Neither do I, it's so lame," Buck agreed.

"I have the right to watch whatever I like!" Goldor snapped. "And if I happen to like a drama based around a high school Delight club, then that's that!" Thankfully, before this awkward line of conversation could go any further, the Abra Teleported back with their food, and the subject was tabled for another time so that they could all have their dinners.

At her table, Sasha frowned at the nervous-looking Rattata. "What is it, Sasha?" Pikachu asked.

"I sense trouble in the future…I think it is coming from him," the Absol said.

"Well of course he's gonna be trouble, he's a rat, and everyone knows nothing good ever comes from them!" Max said, splattering the table with bits of food and saliva as he failed to chew with his mouth closed. The others made disgusted faces.

"That's incredibly prejudicial although rather apt, little buddy," Sam said calmly. "And please stop talking with your mouth full before I start blowing chunks all over the place." Max stuck his tongue (and the grotesque mass of chewed-up corn dog on it) at Sam, but heeded his warning and proceeded to eat in a slightly less messy manner.

"So you think we should keep an eye on him?" Pikachu asked, reaching for his sword.

"Perhaps, perhaps not," the Croagunk detective Looker croaked. "Just because he's acting suspicious doesn't mean he's planning something."

"So…we shouldn't keep an eye on him?" Pikachu asked.

"I didn't say that…" Looker murmured, frowning at the Ratatta. Pikachu growled in vexation.

"Maybe he's the one who stole our cheese!" Max declared.

"Little buddy, we don't have any cheese," Sam said.

"Exactly, because he took it!" Max said. "Oh, and speaking of suspicious…I think that girl with the crossbows wants to rob and/or eat you, she keeps looking at you all weird."

Sam frowned. "The girl with the crossbows?"

"Yeah, the one over by the door," Max said.

Sam glanced over his shoulder at the same time George the Mightyena looked at him. Their eyes met. Sam flushed, and then he quickly turned back to the table and self-consciously adjusted his hat and tie. "Why's she staring at me like that? Is she checking me out?"

"Hmm, yeah, she probably is trying to gauge how much of you is fat and how much is actual meat to determine whether you'll make a good meal or not…you really need to lay off the Fudgie Freezes, Sam," Max said.

"…Max, I don't think she wants to eat me," Sam said in exasperation.

Max gave him a look of genuine puzzlement. "Why not? You look so delicious, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to eat you."

"Hmm, he has a point, you do look somewhat delectable," Sasha commented after giving Sam a long, appraising look. Max nodded in agreement, and Sam shot her a nervous, worried look.

Pikachu facepalmed and found himself wishing that he were at another table. Why hadn't Leo and Lily called them over? It looked like they were getting along pretty well with Fantina and her party. Would it be that much effort to invite them to join in? Then again, there was a chance that Sam and Max would follow, whether they were wanted or not… "How exactly did you two get on the train again?" he wearily asked the otherworldly duo.

"We asked Looker to let us share a room with him," Sam said.

"…And you let them why?" Pikachu demanded of the Croagunk.

"For cover," Looker said. "Nobody would ever think I working on a case if I was traveling with companions as loud and obnoxious as these two."

"Hey, I resent that! You forgot to mention my distinctive body odor!" Max said.

"Thank you for reminding us all of that, Max," Sam said.

"So you are on a case?" Pikachu asked.

Looker nodded. "A big one…I've been after one of the people on this train for a long time, and I almost have everything I need to finally nail the bastard."

Pikachu glanced surreptitiously at the other passengers. "Which one?"

"I'd rather not say…don't want my quarry to get word that I'm onto them and slip through my fingers," Looker said enigmatically. "Much like you don't want anyone to know what you're really up to, correct?"

"Fair enough," Pikachu admitted grudgingly. He had been displeased when Looker saw through their disguises almost the instant he met them, listing inconsistencies and flaws in their masquerade that, to a trained observer like himself, were glaring indicators that they were not who they said they were. However, he had also seen just as easily that they had no ill intentions, so did not disclose his discovery to any of the security forces, correctly deducing it might be a bad idea in the long run if he did anything to interfere in their mission.

"He wouldn't tell us who he's trying to catch either, even though we offered to help," Sam said, looking offended.

"Yeah, he said we couldn't keep secrets. As if! I've never told anyone that Sam sometimes rushes out to the fire hydrant outside our office in the middle of the night," Max bragged. Sam gave him a betrayed look, and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"What is a fire hydrant and why is it a big deal to run out to one in the middle of the night?" asked a confused Sasha.

"Um," Pikachu said, turning red.

"A fire hydrant is the above-ground plug for a series of underground water pipes in more civilized areas that hoses can be attached to when a fire breaks out to pump out enough water to put out the blaze," Looker said.

Sasha frowned. "Why not just use a Water Pokémon instead?"

"Usually they do, but Water Pokémon may not always be enough to put out a burning building if it's especially large or the fire is extraordinarily strong," Looker explained.

"Hmm, I suppose that's true. But what is shameful about running out to one in the middle of the night?" Sasha asked as Sam turned red.

"Because some Pokémon—usually canines, for some reason—occasionally feel an urge to mark their territory on it," Looker said. Sam turned even redder.

Sasha frowned. "…I do not follow. What is wrong with that?"

"It's, ah, not something that's supposed to be done in civilized company," Pikachu said.

"Why not?" Sasha asked. Pikachu hesitated, unsure how to answer her.

"No clue. That's something I've always wanted to do, too, but Sam never lets me," Max complained. "Just like how he tells me not to scratch myself in public, or eat the stuff I find between my toes, or armpit fart the alphabet, or force hobos to dance the Macarena at gunpoint."

"What did those poor hobos ever do to you anyway, Max?" Sam asked.

"Nothing, I'm trying to help them by making them do a little cardio! You'd think they'd be a little more grateful for the exercise or something," Max griped.

"…Right. Anyway," Pikachu said, deciding to change the subject. He glanced at Dawn, who had seemed rather subdued ever since she'd returned from speaking to that Dragonite next door. "Dawn, are you okay? You haven't said much since you returned from speaking to that Dragonite next door."

"Well of course she hasn't said much of anything, it's cuz she's dumb!" Max said.

"Max!" Sam scolded.

"What? She is! That's the term you use for people who can't talk, isn't it?" Max asked.

"Oh. That's true, but the politically correct term is 'mute,'" Sam pointed out.

"Sam, when have I ever been politically correct?" Max asked.

"Well, never, I suppose," Sam admitted.

"Wrong! I'm the President, which means that whatever I say is automatically politically correct, because I'm the biggest politician around!" Max said triumphantly.

"Hmm. Sounds reasonable," Sam said.

Pikachu's eye twitched. Looker frowned. "I'm not sure that's how it works…"

"It is if I say it is, and I've got the nuclear arsenal to prove it!" Max said.

"Where?" Sasha asked.

"Back…in our home universe…" Max said, deflating. He brightened and pulled out his gun. "But I still have this to enforce my Constitutional rights to blow stuff up whenever I want!"

"Max, put that away before you shoot someone by accident," Sam said.

Max stared at him blankly. "Why would it be an accident?"

"DAWN," Pikachu said loudly to get them back on subject. "What's up?"

Hmm? Oh…I'm sorry, Master. I just have a lot on my mind, Dawn clicked apologetically.

"Are you all right?" Pikachu asked in concern.

She nodded. Yes, it's just…I've had a few surprises today, and I'm still trying to process them.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the samurai asked.

She shook her head. Yes, but…not this instant. I would rather talk somewhere private, where there are fewer listening ears and blathering mouths.

Pikachu winced as Max belched very loudly. "Fair enough. But you will tell me, then?"

She nodded. Of course. I would never keep anything a secret from you, Master.

"…Thanks," he said, a little embarrassed.

As he turned back to his meal, Dawn halfheartedly picked at hers, mind still reeling from the revelation she had learned earlier that day…and the return of a figure from her past whom she had thought to be long since deceased.

Back when she had been growing up with the Dragon's Claw ninjas, she and Paul (before he'd gone insane) had hung out with several other ninjas their age. One of them had been a Prinplup by the name of Barry, who had idolized Paul and believed he could do no wrong. He had been one of Paul's loudest advocates when the Sneasel had snapped and stolen the scroll 'How to live forever,' refusing to believe that he had done such a thing. He'd continued believing this, up until Paul viciously disemboweled and murdered him, like the rest of their friends.

Barry had been the son of Master Palmer, one of the clan's most accomplished and skilled ninjas. However, not even his strength and years of experience had saved him when Paul destroyed the clan…or at least, so Dawn had believed all these years, until bumping into the Dragonite ninja in the hallway outside her and Pikachu's compartment. Even in his disguise, she still knew him well enough from all the lessons he had taught her and the times she and the others had hung out at his and Barry's quarters to recognize him the instant she laid eyes on him. What she hadn't understood, of course, was why he was alive…and what he was doing on the Enchanted Express.

He had explained it to her, after taking her into his quarters and interrogating her about his son's death, Paul's betrayal, and the destruction of their clan. As it turned out, Palmer had been completely unaware of any of this. In fact, he hadn't even been present in the fortress when Paul went rogue, though Dawn had been certain she'd seen him there for Paul's tribunal…and found his corpse later, while following the mad ninja's bloody wake. According to Palmer, however, that hadn't been him at all, but a body double the elders had put in place so nobody would notice Palmer's absence while he was gone on a mission…a mission so secret that nobody, not even his own son, could know about it, a mission that would require him to sever all ties to his clan and vanish into the world for an indefinite period of time. What mission was so important that it could possibly call for such drastic measures of secrecy?

To find the Wing clan, the group of ninjas who had seceded from the Draconian Empire some centuries ago and disappeared more thoroughly than any ninja before had ever managed. They had long been thought dead, but certain evidence (which Palmer refused to go into, saying it wasn't something Dawn needed to know of) had come to light a few months before Paul's treachery that seemed to indicate that the missing clan was still alive and active somewhere in the world. Palmer, as one of the Claw clan's best ninjas and masters of disguise and infiltration, had been selected to venture forth and see if there was any truth to these rumors, and to try and find where the Wing had been hiding all these years. He had been forced to go into extremely deep cover as a result, disavowing any connection to his home and family so that nobody, especially not any Wing ninjas who might be spying on him from afar, would have any reason to believe he was an agent sent to learn their whereabouts. He had been saddened to do it, but was too dedicated and loyal to refuse, so had departed the fortress without anyone noticing, a false Palmer created through ninjutsu taking his place so it would seem that he was still there.

This forced solitude had allowed him to assume various identities over the years, each of which got him one step closer to solving the mystery of the missing clan…at the cost of being completely unaware that his son and everyone else he cared about had been murdered by one of his pupils not too long after he had left, and that if he had stayed behind he might have been able to do something to save them. Had he been anyone else, Dawn would have thought this to be foolishness, that no one mon could have turned such a tide…but Master Palmer was no ordinary ninja, and she was forced to admit that if he had been there, things might have turned out differently. Barry and all her other friends might still be alive…

But on the other hand, she might never have met Pikachu or the others. She had suffered quite a bit in the years between Paul's betrayal and her joining Team Aurabolt, but a surprisingly large part of her believed that, in some way, her current position was worth almost everything that had happened to her since that awful day. (Not everything, mind you, there had been some parts so horrible they'd come dangerously close to breaking her, but it didn't do to dwell on them.)

They did not waste much time dwelling on what could have been. It was not their way. The past could not be changed, and they could do nothing more than accept the present and move on. After she had given her full report on what Paul had done and what she had been up to since then, of her efforts to track down and kill him and her vow to aid Pikachu and the others in defeating him and the rest of the Nihilators, Palmer had quietly thanked her for telling him all this, asked her to leave him so that he could come to terms with everything that he'd missed and mourn his son and the others in private…

And told her that he would come for her later, because if they truly were the last two living Claw ninjas, then there were some things she would need to know if she were to become strong enough to defeat Paul and avenge their clan, secret techniques and ninjutsu that only a Master like himself—the last Master—could teach her. He had not forbidden her to tell Pikachu any of this, since he understood at once the sort of…bond they had, but asked her to only speak of it to those she could absolutely trust not to tell anyone, since despite everything he now knew he still intended to complete his mission, and couldn't risk his cover being blown after all the hard work he'd put into it. (That meant, of course, there was no way she was going to let Leo know.) Impressed by his devotion to duty and a determination to fulfill a task set to him years ago by people long dead, Dawn had promised to keep his secret and looked forward to learning whatever he had to teach her…especially if it would help her kill Paul. She fully intended to tell all this to Pikachu, but now was not the right setting for such an important conversation, especially with a pair of idiots like Sam and Max sitting right across the table from her.

"Hey Sam, look, I'm eating my mashed potatoes with my nose! Through a straw!" Max said as he literally inhaled the food on his plate in an incredibly disgusting manner.

"I'd stop doing that if I were you, little buddy," Sam warned him. "Not only is it bad for your sinuses, it makes you look like you're doing drugs."

Max gasped. "Drugs! Oh no, not drugs! Anything but drugs! Why should I give a crap again?"

"Because you passed several bills to continue the war on drugs," Sam said. "And crime. And terror. And poverty. And poor education. And pollution. And New Zealand."

"Oh yeah…why did I do that again?" Max asked.

"Because New Zealand refused to let Disney film any more Power Rangers series there, so you declared them an enemy of the state and started firing ICBMs at them, causing them to retaliate by depositing their legions of orcs and Monsters of the Week on US soil, and soon a full-fledged war broke out," Sam informed them.

"Those bastards! But I was talking about the drugs," Max said.

"Because the lobbyists offered you a lot of money," Sam said.

"Oh yeah, that sounds about right," Max recalled. "I'll eat with my mouth then…and a straw!" He stuck the straw in his mouth and started sucking up the food on his plate.

"You crack me up, little buddy," Sam said. Pikachu's eye twitched, Looker looked as if he we were regretting letting Sam and Max board the train with him, and Dawn sighed and fanned herself, seeing her decision validated before her eyes.

"By the way," Sasha commented, reluctantly looking away from the Ratatta again. "I don't think you said…why exactly are you on this train again?"

"Because Looker let us share his room, duh," Max said.

"No, I mean, why are you going to Fichina at all?" Sasha rephrased her query.

"I considered asking, but refrained to out of fear it would be something stupid," Pikachu said with a grimace.

Sam frowned. "Now that's plain character defamation! There's nothing stupid about it at all. We're urgently needed back home, so we're going to Fichina in hopes that one of the prestidigitators there can send us back to our plane of origin."

"Sam, never say 'prestidigitator' again, it has too many syllables and is way too hard to spell. You know those make my head hurt," Max complained.

"Duly noted, little buddy," Sam said.

"Oh," Pikachu said, looking surprised. "That does sound reasonable. Sorry."

What business draws you back to your world? Dawn asked.

"Oh, nothing much," Max said. "Just Sam's giant cockroach adopted son has been framed of shooting the giant living statue of the twenty-first President of the United States by the giant living statue of the guy who killed the real twenty-first President of the United States, and we have to clear his name before he gets put in a rocket and launched into the Sun."

"Max, you've got your presidents confused, the twenty-first President is Chester A. Arthur, Abraham Lincoln is the sixteenth," Sam corrected. "And Arthur died of massive cerebral hemorrhaging, not assassination, though that is how his immediate predecessor, James Garfield, bit it, after being shot a couple of months previously by Charles J. Guiteau, who believed God wanted him to kill Garfield as punishment for not making him ambassador to Paris."

"Oh yeah, I always get those two mixed up," Max said.

Pikachu slammed his head into the table. "I knew it was too good to be true. I just knew it."

Dawn blinked. Why…why is he going to be put into a rocket and launched into the Sun? she asked, deciding not to focus too much on the living statue or giant cockroach adopted son parts. She didn't even know what a cockroach was. Some kind of Bug-type? Sam and Max had said Pokémon didn't exist in their world, a concept she found herself almost incapable of understanding, though in retrospect it was probably a good thing, since she didn't thing any Pokémon would particularly enjoy living in a world as crazy as theirs.

"Because I decided lethal injection was too boring a method of execution, so introduced lots of new death sentences to make things more exciting. Like death by extreme racing! Or death by gladiator battle! Or death by deathcourse! Or death by getting turned into a giant monster and allowed to rampage in Tokyo until another death row inmate in a giant robot either stops the monster or gets killed himself, with the survivor either receiving a full presidential pardon or being blown up by a nuclear missile, depending on how I'm feeling that day," Max said.

"Oh, and don't forget death by chocolate," Sam said, licking his lips.

"Yeah, that one was delicious!" Max agreed. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well, I sincerely hope you find someone who can send you home," Pikachu said. And the sooner the better…

Sasha frowned. "But…why are you not riding that strange vehicle of yours instead?"

"The DeSoto went missing after our latest adventure ended in a startling and unexpected failure," Max said sadly.

"It wasn't a failure, it was a redefined mission objective," Sam said stubbornly. "And the old girl's still alive, I'm sure of it!"

"Of course she is, Sam, and so are the Rubber Pants Commandoes, and they'll all be waiting for us back home with a big platter of glazed McGuffins, Treeetz, Fudgy Freezes, and ice cream," Max said patronizingly, as if to a child. Sam growled in annoyance.

"I'm…sorry to hear that," Pikachu said uncertainly. Part of him was genuinely sorry, since the DeSoto's disappearance meant he had to put up with these two, but another part of him was relieved it was gone because riding in that thing had been a terrifying experience he never wanted to relive again.

"What adventure were you involved in?" Sasha asked.

Pikachu groaned and Looker shook his head pityingly. "You did not say that. Please tell me you did not just say that."

"We were trying to stop a cult of hideous fish-men living in an underwater city from releasing an ancient eldritch abomination from its millennia of slumber so one of our old nemeses, Mack Salmon, could use it to conquer our world, after destroying this one," Sam said.

Pikachu considered this for a moment. "That…actually is not as bad as I expected. I mean, it sounds like a very dangerous and important quest, but at least it's reasonable."

"It gets worse," Looker said morosely.

If you failed that, then why are you here? Dawn asked in confusion.

"Because we escaped, naturally," Sam said.

"Though it wasn't easy," Max said. "If it hadn't been for those weirdos in a fish-shaped submarine, that might have been it for us!"

Pikachu blinked. "A fish-shaped submarine?"

"Yeah…no idea what they were doing down there…" Max scowled. "And if it weren't for them, things might not have gotten so screwy!"

"Screwy? How so?" Sasha asked.

"A demon ripped out of one of their bodies, killed the Deep Ones, resurrected the great Leviathan, and forced us to fight him…in turn-based combat!" Sam said. "It was terrible!"

Pikachu blinked. A demon? Turn-based combat? Why was he getting a very bad feeling about this? "We managed to beat him, because we're awesome like that," Max said. "But he cheated so he didn't die and was going to kill us, but our old friends, the Rubber Pants Commandoes, showed up in a helicopter to save us!"

Sasha stared. "Rubber what now?"

Pikachu's head started throbbing. "A…a helicopter? Underwater? But…but how…that doesn't…that doesn't even make sense!"

"Yeah, that's what the guys in the sub said too for some reason," Sam said with a shrug.

Max snorted. "Psh, it's like you guys have never seen a helicopter crewed by a talking cigar-smoking chimpanzee and a pair of gun-toting babies before." Pikachu's eye twitched.

"The Rubber Pants Commandoes—and our car!—stayed behind to distract Leviathan and the demon while we made our getaway," Sam said. "The last we saw of them was a tremendous explosion…but one of the guys in the submarine said Leviathan and the demon were okay, so I'm sure the DeSoto and the Commandoes are too!"

"I'm sure they are, Sam. I'm sure they are," Max said condescendingly. Sam growled.

Pikachu frowned. "This demon…what was his name?"

"Mulan," Max said.

"No, that's the name of a legendary heroine from Chinese folklore who got an animated movie made about her by Disney in 1998, the demon's name was Mewgle," Sam said.

"Oh yeah, I always get those two mixed up," Max said.

Dawn started and Sasha and Pikachu gasped in horror. "Mewgle? He's back?" Pikachu cried.

"I should have known we would not be rid of him so easily," Sasha hissed.

I had hoped he would be one enemy of years I would not have to face, Dawn groaned.

Sam blinked. "Mewgle? You know him?"

"Unless there's some other game-obsessed demon that looks like Mew out there, then yes!" Pikachu said. He paused. "Uh, was the Mewgle you saw game-obsessed and looked like Mew?"

"What's a Mew?" Max asked. The Pokémon all stared at him in disbelief. What world had he come from that had no knowledge of the great Mother and progenitor of all life?

"He was obsessed with games," Sam reported. "Hence why he forced us to fight him in turn-based combat. He was also obsessed with someone named. 'Leo.'" He frowned. "Say, isn't that the name of that chubby turtle friend of yours who certainly isn't that nun sitting over there?"

"Yeah, the fanboy who wasn't nearly as obnoxious as Lorne," Max said.

"The friend for liiiiiiife!" someone shouted.

Pikachu, Sasha, Dawn, and Looker looked around in confusion. Who said that? Dawn asked.

"That's irrelevant right now," Pikachu said, wisely deciding not to think about it. He rose from his seat. "Stealth be damned, if Mewgle's back and has control of some giant monster, then we have to tell Leo right away, since he's probably that jerk's next target, since Mewgle holds a huge grudge against him that seems to go way beyond Leo defeating him a couple of times."

Sasha closed her eyes briefly. "While I sense danger on the horizon, it does not have Mewgle's particular flavor…but that does not mean he will not come for us in the near future. You are correct, we must tell Leo immediately."

But discretely, Dawn pointed out as she got up as well. While I suppose no harm can come of Fantina and her colleagues learning about Mewgle since they are potential allies and may be able to help us, there is no reason to let anyone else on this train know that they're riding along with the target of a psychotic demon with a game fetish.

Looker nodded in agreement. "And considering they already have to worry about being attacked by a psychotic ice witch with all sorts of even more vulgar and horrific fetishes connected to an organization that seeks to destroy the world, something like that would cause a panic."

Perking up, Max stood on his seat, opened his mouth, and started yelling, "HEY EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP! THERE'S-"

Sam tackled him off his chair and wrestled with him on the floor, clamping a hand over his mouth. Max bit it, and Sam winced as it broke the skin, knowing he'd need to disinfect that later. As the other passengers stared at him incredulously, he shouted, "Free drinks for everyone, from my blue slimy-skinned friend here!"

The passengers cheered, and Looker glared at Sam in annoyance, cheeks bulging in and out as he breathed. "It's not slime, it's mucus…" he grumbled.

"Aaaand with that, we're gone," Pikachu said as they hurried away from the table. "I swear, the sooner we get to Fichina and away from those guys, the better. Two more days stuck on this train with them is two days too many…"

"It could be worse," Sasha pointed out.

Pikachu was about to ask how, realized how foolish something like that would be considering everything they'd gone through so far, thought of several ways in which it could, in fact, get worse, and finally said, "You're right, it could. We could be stuck here for three more days."

At that moment, Ash was also in a bit of an uncomfortable situation…but for a completely different reason. "You're saying that you and your girlfriend have three adopted children, all of whom hatched from eggs you found in the wild or on adventures?" he asked incredulously.

"Yep," Ritchie said, taking out some pictures and putting them on the table in front of Ash. He pointed to a picture of a beautiful Roselia. "This is our oldest, Marta. Melody found her in the middle of a field of crushed flowers one day while wandering through one of the city parks. We made some inquiries but we couldn't find any sign of a parent missing a Budew egg, so we decided to keep her. She's going to be a real looker when she evolves to her final form, but then again, aren't most Roserades?"

"Um…yeah…they are…" Ash said.

Ritchie pointed to an Ursaring. "This is our middle child, Roosevelt. Sparky and I found his egg on the way back from a visit to the local seer, Will the Xatu. He told us to check a hole in a tree shaped like a Soodowoodo that was an actual tree rather than a Soodowoodo. And there he was!"

"And there he was," Ash said faintly.

"Ritchie originally considered calling him Ritchie Junior, but I told him it wouldn't make a lot of sense since he wasn't of the same species as Ritchie, so he named him Roosevelt instead," Sparky explained.

"I dunno why, though…I think Junior would have made a nice name," Zippo said.

"Yeah, but Melody didn't think so, so Roosevelt it was," Ritchie said. He pointed to a picture of a Pichu. "And this one's my youngest, Ruby. Melody got her egg when she and some of the other Exploration Teams-"

"Exploration whats?" Ash asked.

"Oh, back home, lots of like-minded Pokémon band together in close-knit groups called 'Exploration Teams' who roam around the country, looking for treasures and making discoveries and helping people in need," Ritchie explained.

"My father and Ritchie's father were best friends and had a Team of their own back in the day, so it was inevitable we'd form one as well," Sparky explained.

"Isn't it so sweet the way friendships can be continued across generations?" Happy asked, sucking at the nectar she had been given to eat.

"Um…yeah…really…" Ash said, mind boggling.

"Anyway, Melody found Ruby's egg when she and some of the Teams were responding to a distress call from a nearby settlement of Electric-type Pokémon that had been attacked by barbarians. They were too late to save Ruby's mother, but before she succumbed to her injuries she gave her egg to Melody and asked her to take care of it," Ritchie continued.

"My family offered to adopt her, but Melody insisted that Ruby was her responsibility, and so she and Ritchie decided to raise her as their own," Sparky said.

"Which is really adorable…" Rose said with a blush.

"Y-yeah…it is…" Ash said, somewhat dazed. The similarities between him and Ritchie were unnerving, made only more so by the fact that they weren't one hundred percent identical. "Um…say…have you ever felt like you were a human in a past life, or that you were in fact a human from another world that somehow got turned into a Pokémon and thrown into this one?"

Everyone on Team Getem stared at him. "What? No, of course not," said the perplexed Ritchie.

"Yeah, mon, that sort of thing's wack. You only see it in bad fanfics and the like," Zippo agreed.

"Why, have you ever felt that way?" Lu asked.

"No! No, of course not, that would be silly," Ash said quickly, laughing nervously. "Um…anyway, I guess Cruise makes four, huh?"

"That's right!" the other Pupitar said happily. "I'm looking forward to meeting my new Mommy when we get the last few Plates and confront Judgment in their castle, wherever it is!"

"So, you're sure Melody's being held there, and hasn't been…er…sent into outer space or another dimension or something like that?" Ash asked.

Ritchie shook his head sadly. "No, but what happened to her is almost as bad. Judgment's top scientist, the sinister-"

"And hot," Zippo said, causing Rose to glare at him. "What? She is! And nicer than your mom."

"That she is," Rose admitted reluctantly.

"Doctor Blackarachnia," Ritchie continued. "Told us that Melody's been turned to stone by one of Rose's mother's curses! But the power of the Plates should be able to save her."

"I hope so," Ash said. Turned to stone? Well, he supposed that could sort of be considered an opposite to what had happened to Misty, being dispersed everywhere…and made an eerie amount of sense, considering the twisted mirror logic going on here. "But…what about Cruise's biological parents? What happened to them?"

"My Daddy was captured by Judgment and has become one of their brainwashed slaves, while my Mommy's part of a criminal organization in Frodomar City who betrayed everyone to try and find a way to help him…and me," Cruise said sadly. "I don't know if I'll ever see them again…but if I don't, I know that Daddy and my new Mommy will take care of me!" Tiny stared at him in disbelief, eyes practically bugging out of his shell.

"That's right, you'll always have a place with us," Ritchie said, rubbing Cruise's head affectionately and causing him to giggle. "Melody'll love you for sure, once she meets you!"

"I'm…sure she will," Ash said awkwardly. "Um, say, how long have you two been a couple?"

"Oh, a long time now," Ritchie said.

"Initially, they pretended they were only friends and got in rather loud arguments with each other over the silliest things, but everyone could tell they were secretly in love with each other no matter how much they denied it," Sparky said. "Fortunately they decided not to drag it out for too long and confessed their feelings for each other relatively quickly."

"Oh…that's good…" Ash said sadly, looking at his plate and his mostly untouched meal. His heart ached briefly, and he knew that he should have admitted his feelings for Misty to her—and to himself—long before now. After his most recent flashback into his past, he knew there was no longer any point in lying to himself. What he felt for her…it went far beyond friendship. And…and once she got back to Earth…he hoped that they would be able to have a happier future together than they did in their previous life, and that whatever horrific and tragic end to that past life which lurked somewhere in the back of his mind wouldn't repeat itself. "I'm…glad for you."

"Thanks," Ritchie said. He sighed. "When we rescue her, I think I'm gonna marry her…I've been putting it off long enough…say, do you have anyone waiting for you back home?"

"Probably not, monks like him are usually celibate for life," Captain Salty said.

Zippo shook his head sadly. "Dude, what a horrible fate…why anyone would choose a lame-o path like that is totally beyond me, though."

"I'm glad Sparky's code of knighthood doesn't require him to stay celibate…or to wait until marriage to lose his virginity," Lu said with a lewd grin, causing the Pikachu to blush.

Ash blushed. "I…I'm not with anyone, but…but there is this one girl…"

They all leaned closer at that. "Oh? Do tell," Happy said.

"Well…I have a friend. A female friend. And our relationship is…well, a lot like Sparky says that yours and Melody's was," Ash said to Ritchie. "But we never got to the point that you have. We're still at that stage you used to be at. So…how did you do it? How did you stop dawdling and move on to the next phase in your relationship?"

Ritchie broke into a grin. "Heh. A good question. You've come to the right mon, my friend. You see, what happened was-"

Abruptly, Tiny bumped into Ash. "Huh? What is it, Rico?" Ash asked. Tiny tried to point, remembered he didn't have hands, grunted in frustration, and tried to incline his shell so his horns were aimed at Pikachu, Sasha, and Dawn, who were walking towards the table Fantina, Leo, and Lily were seated at. Ash frowned.

"Hiori? Is something wrong?" Ritchie asked in concern.

"Hmm? Oh, it's nothing," Ash murmured, hoping that was indeed the case. He turned back to the table. "Now…what was it you were saying happened between you and Melody?"

Meanwhile, at Fantina's table, Lily was being overwhelmed as Fantina and Bow excitedly talked about all the sorts of things they were going to do once they got to Fichina. "Zere is so much to see and do!" Bow lamented. "It is a pity Mama 'as yet to find a way to perform 'time expansion,' ozzerwise we would be able to pack days of activity into a single 'our!"

"Couldn't you just use time magic?" Lily asked.

"Yes, but zat just makes time seem to pass faster or slower for one person, what I envision is a way to make ze day longer for everyone, so zey can find ze time to do all zose myriad important zings zey're always struggling to find opportunities to do!" Fantina explained. "Wiz power like zat, we could make up for all ze years of lost time we 'ave wizzout wasting ze present."

"Oh…that would be lovely," Lily said.

"But since we cannot do zat, we will 'ave to cram as much as we can into your stay wiz us," Bow said, fanning herself. "I know you 'ave an important mission to attend to, but surely you could spare a few days wiz us, non?"

"Well, I don't know-" Lily started.

"Oh, but you must!" Fantina insisted. "Zis will be your first visit to Fichina, ze place where, 'ad zings been different, you would 'ave grown up! Zere is so much for us to do togezzer, it would be criminal for you to leave wizzout sampling ze sights!"

"We can visit ze Floating Mountains and watch ze flying Wailord dance in ze Pearly Skysea," Bow suggested.

"Or attend a concert in ze Singing 'ills, which really are alive wiz ze sound of music," Fantina said. "And very good music, at zat!"

"And if special effects are more your zing, ze light show at ze Crystal Cathedral can't be beat!" Bow added.

"Oh, and zen zere's ze Shifting Canyon," Fantina said.

"And ze Waterrise Stair," Bow said.

"And ze Academy of Magic!" Fantina said.

"And ze Rainbow Palace!" Bow said.

"Ze Labyrinzh of Worlds!" Fantina said.

"Ze mall at ze Tower of Commerce!" Bow said.

"Ze Shrine of Dreams!" Fantina said.

"Ze Magitech factory!" Bow said.

"Ze Forest of Light!" Fantina said.

"Ze City of Books!" Bow said.

"Ze Well of Souls!" Fantina said.

"Ze Temple of Mew!" Bow said with a fond sigh.

Fantina frowned at her daughter. "Are you sure? I don't know if Lily is ready for zat…"

"Oh come now! Lily has a boyfriend. Surely she could appreciate some…education, non?" Bow asked, winking and nudging Lily, a sly look on her face.

"…I don't follow," said a confused Lily. "What is there at a Temple of Mew for me to learn? Oh! Unless they have some new spells I could use?"

Bow chuckled. "Oh yes, zere's certainly some kind of magic going on zere…"

Her comment went completely over Lily's head. "Like what?"

Bow stared at Lily incredulously. "…You really don't know?"

"Of course she doesn't, considering who 'er mozzer is," Fantina tutted. "Bellum was probably banned from zose for life."

"Why?" asked the puzzled Lily.

"Well, because…" Fantina explained to her just what it was that people did at Mew's temples.

Lily gave her a horrified look. "They do what?"

"Mew is ze deity of love and life, and Mozzer of all zings, so it only makes sense zat zey would partake in such activities in 'er temple," Fantina said. "Zey call it 'worshipping ze goddess.'"

Bow giggled and fanned herself. "Sometimes we worship several times a week. We're regulars zere. I zink at least one of my sisters was conceived zere…"

Lily stared at them, aghast. "How is that different from…from…what are those called…brothels?"

Fantina sniffed. "Brozzels? Pah, zey do it for money and exploit zeir workers. At ze temple, zey do it for free to express zeir love for all creatures."

"And zeir libidos," Bow added.

"Yes, zat too," Fantina admitted.

Lily blushed. "Oh…um…I'd rather skip that stop, if it's all right with you."

"Why?" asked a puzzled Bow. "Wouldn't you like to 'ave some fun wiz your boyfriend?"

Lily turned redder. "That's, um, n-not really something we…do…"

It took Bow a few seconds to realize what Lily meant. "You 'aven't done it yet?" she asked incredulously. "'Ave you even gone past second base?"

"…There's a first?" asked a confused Lily.

Bow stared at her in horror. "You poor dear. Your mozzer really has done a poor job of educating you, 'asn't she?"

"Considering Bellum's 'abits, it's probably for ze best she never tried to give Lily zat sort of education," Fantina said wisely.

"True, true," Bow admitted. "Well, we'll just 'ave to make up for zat, now won't we?"

Lily's blush turned, impossibly, even redder. "That-that's really not necessary," she stammered.

"Oh, but I insist! We must do somezing about zis. You want to keep your boyfriend, don't you?" Bow pressed. "Mozzer's not really ze type to commit to a single person-"

"Zhough zere was one mon," Fantina said, a look of mingled joy and sadness in her eyes. She sighed. "But…it was not meant to be…"

"But if you want to keep zis 'Leo,' you must show you're willing to give 'im what he wants, lest 'e turn 'is eye elsewhere," Bow continued. "You know 'ow mons are, after all."

Lily's blush turned from one of embarrassment to anger. "H-he's not like that!" she protested.

"Perhaps not, but zat does not mean you cannot find ozzer ways to make 'im deliriously happy and remind 'im 'ow lucky 'e is to 'ave you. We will schedule a full makeover for you at one of my salons," Fantina decided. "You already have quite ze charm, which is unsurprising considering who you are modeled off of…"

Lily's redness sprang from embarrassment again, and Bow chuckled. "Oh, Mama…"

"But wiz a little work, we can make a great beauty out of you," Fantina continued. "I already see glimpses of it. It was buried beneaz centuries of torture and abuse from your mozzer, but your friends 'ave begun to draw it out. You will be a real stunner once you mature some more."

Lily turned even redder. "I-I don't think…I mean…I'm not that pretty…"

"No, but you could be," Bow said. She frowned at the marks on Lily's face. They had tried applying makeup to hide them, but the wrongness of Giratina's curse seemed to seep through no matter how much they covered it up. "Hmm, but zose chains pose a bit of a dilemma…"

"Is there anything you can do about them?" Lily begged, eager to get off the subject of her looks. "I can break one of them on my own—I cast it on myself, after all—but if I do, then the other one will activate and send my soul screaming into the Abyss."

Fantina sighed when she heard this. "It never ceases to amaze me ze depzs to which your mozzer will stoop to…I try to see ze best in everyone, but no matter 'ow 'ard I look, zere doesn't seem to be any good in Bellum. 'Ow can one person fill zemselves wiz so much evil?"

Ectoplasmic tendrils extended from under her hat and circled Lily, probing the chain-shaped curses. One cautiously touched one of the marks, and there was a spark of dark energy that caused Lily to flinch and Fantina to recoil. "Ouch!" Lily gasped.

Grimacing, Fantina retracted her tendrils. "I am sorry, but zere is nozzing I can do. Zis curse is beyond even my power to break. Ze only way it could be removed is to replace it wiz an even stronger bond…but getting one of zose is 'ard to come by."

"Leo said he had an idea," Lily said, trying to hide her disappointment. "He said he was working on something that he thought could save me." She frowned. "He's been talking about it with my father too, now that I think about it."

Fantina raised an eyebrow and met Bow's gaze. They both glanced at Leo, who was pestering the harried-looking vampires on the other side of the table, then looked back at Lily. "Is zat so?" Bow murmured, hiding a smile behind her fan.

"Well, if my guess is right, zen I zink I know what Leo is working on…and I believe it 'as a good chance of working," Fantina said.

"You do?" Lily asked, a look of relief passing over her face. "Thank goodness! But…what is it, then? He's been so secretive about it…"

"Ah-ah-ah, zat is for 'im to tell you, not we," Fantina said, shaking her head. "After all, we don't want to spoil ze surprise, now do we?"

"Non, zat would not do at all!" Bow agreed. She and her mother giggled.

Lily frowned in disappointment. "You too? Why is everyone keeping me in the dark about this? It involves me, doesn't it?"

"Yes, but…let's just say zat once ze truz is finally revealed, you'll understand why you waited," Fantina said vaguely. "Anyway…you said your fazzer is in on it? 'e's Nuken Shinobu, one of ze leaders of ze Draconian Empire, oui?"

"Oui, I mean, yes," Lily said.

Bow shuddered. "'e's very creepy, even for a Ghost-type…"

"Tell me about it," Lily said in agreement.

"You are afraid of 'im?" Fantina intuited.

"…A little. Everything I've heard about him says he's not a very nice person," Lily said.

"'E's still better zan Bellum," Fantina pointed out.

"Zen again, zat's not very hard," Bow reminded her.

"I 'ave only met 'im a few times, but…while he may not be ze best of persons, one zing I am sure of is zat 'e loves you. Ozzerwise, would 'e 'ave searched for you even longer zan I 'ave?" Fantina pointed out.

"For all 'is faults, zat's one zing which makes him better zan Bellum, oui?" Bow asked.

"I…suppose," Lily admitted. She still wasn't sure how to feel about her father. That had been one of the reasons why, when he had invited her to his wedding in a few days, she he had turned him down. She had a legitimate exuse not to go, since she needed to come with the others on the Enchanted Express, but she'd also refused because she was genuinely afraid of him.

And yet…he'd seemed so disappointed when she told him she couldn't make it…

"Oh! And speaking of Bellum…I just remembered anozzer place we must take you to see," Fantina said, returning Lily to the present discussion.

"Where?" Bow asked.

"Ze Yuki'imi estate," Fantina said.

Lily blinked. "You mean…where Mother grew up?"

Bow frowned. "But Mama, zere is nozing zere. Just a lake. You should know, you're ze one who melted it in ze first place."

"I didn't melt it, it was made of Nevermelt Ice," Fantina retorted.

"But…then how did it melt?" asked the confused Lily.

"Its magic was tied to ze Yuki'imi line, since it 'as been zeir 'ome for 'undreds of years," Fantina said. "Ze actions Bellum took, ze crimes she committed against 'er own kin…zey got 'er banished, and as a result, ze Yuki'imi family no longer existed in Fichina. Wiz no more Yuki'imis, ze family estate could no longer sustain itself. It melted into a vast lake, and 'as been like zat ever since."

"Oh…that's very sad," Lily said.

"Zat it is…'owever, zere are some who zink zat if ze Yuki'imis were ever to return to Fichina, ze Snow Palace would be restored to its full wintry beauty," Fantina said.

"Well, it's too bad Mother's banished and can never return, so that'll never happen," Lily said.

They stared at her. "…Lily, you are a Yuki'imi," Bow reminded her.

Lily flushed. "Oh! Right…" She frowned. "But…my magic is fire, not ice."

"Yes, but…zat does not change ze fact zat you still retain ze Yukihimi ectoplasm, proof zat you are descended from noble spirits," Fantina pointed out. "Ze estate may react to you…or it may not. It is somezing worzh trying, zhough, don't you zink?"

"I suppose…" Lily said reluctantly. She wasn't sure she wanted to associate herself with anyplace related to Bellum. She didn't like being Bellum's daughter, and she wasn't completely sure she wanted to be Nuken's daughter, either. In fact, the more time she spent with the elder witch, she found herself wishing she could be Fantina's daughter instead…

You can't choose your parents, B said. Trust me, I know that from experience.

I didn't know you had parents, Lily said.

Well, I do, B said.

Do you not get along? Lily asked.

Oh no, I love them very much, it's just that sometimes they can be a little…difficult, B said vaguely. It can be trying, being the only child of two of the most powerful beings in existence.

Really? Who are they? Lily asked.

I'd rather not talk about it right now, B said.

"Anyway," Fantina continued. "I know you are on a quest to save ze world, and I promise zat I will do everyzing in my power to 'elp you, but…I 'ope zat you will have time to relax and enjoy your visit in Fichina. You 'ave a birzhright zere, after all, should you wish to collect it."

"…I'll have to think about it," Lily said. "But…" She smiled. "From what you've said so far…I think I'll have a wonderful time."

The vampires Vladimir and Dean, on the other hand, were not having quite so wonderful a time. (Bob was fine since he had enough blood to drink from the little bowl they'd put on the ground for him.) Unsurprisingly, Leo was to blame, as he'd spent almost the entire dinner so far pestering them with questions about what it was like to be a vampire. "So salt doesn't bother you?" he asked giddily.

"No," they said dully.

"Or stakes?" Leo asked.

"No," they said dully.

"Or having your sock torn off, getting a mushroom stuffed in it, and then thrown into a river?" Leo asked.

"N…wait, what?" Vladimir asked in confusion.

"We don't even have socks," said the puzzled Dean.

"Just checking," Leo said. "And holy icons or water don't do anything to you?"

"No," they said dully.

"But silver and sunlight do?" Leo asked.

"Yes," they said dully.

"So you don't sp-" Leo started.

"No, for the last time, we don't sparkle!" Vladimir snapped.

"Nor can we impregnate people with babies which magically age several years in a few seconds once they're born," Dean said wearily. "Which is really gross, by the way."

"I don't even think we can reproduce," Vladimir said. "I mean, we can have sex, sure, but I'm fairly certain we're infertile."

"Oh," Leo said with a frown. "Hmm, there goes that idea…I wanted kids…well, I suppose we could always adopt…"

"Ah, so you wish to be a vampire?" Vladimir asked.

"I'd have thought that was pretty obvious, considering he's spent the last several minutes asking us about it," Dean said.

"I desire immortality, so am exploring all options that will help me reach that goal," Leo explained. "Which includes vampirism. From what you guys have said so far, it sounds like a pretty cushy deal overall. I mean, yeah, there's that little problem with sunlight, but Fantina's working on some sort of magical sunblock that will fix that right up, isn't she?"

The vampires nodded. "Considering Fantina's company makes beauty products, developing a skin cream to protect extremely photosensitive skin like ours from being destroyed by the Sun's rays should not be too difficult," Dean said.

"If it weren't for the fact that we'd have a problem getting something to eat, I would see no problem with making the whole world into vampires," Vladimir commented. "But since we can substitute blood to some extent with iron supplements, and artificial blood is another thing our gracious hostess is looking into, I don't see that as being an obstacle for much longer."

Leo frowned. "You…might want to keep talk like that on the down-low. You guys have sympathy and goodwill from the public at the moment, but if they think you're plotting world domination, they'll probably turn on you."

"I suppose…" Vladimir murmured reluctantly. "But I do not see why anyone would not wish to be a vampire, or serve one. Aside from the obvious benefits of incredible power and longevity, there's also the *ahem* sensuality…"

Dean made a disgusted face, while Leo rubbed his chin in thought. "Hmm…the famous 'kiss of the vampire,' huh?"

"Oh, it's more than just a kiss," Vladimir said lewdly, causing Dean to gag. "Anyway, aside from that, there's also the fact that the world would be at peace. There would no longer be war or famine or discrimination-"

"Other than the somewhat blatant classism caused by vampires existing in a hierarchical caste-based system," Dean grumbled.

Vladimir ignored him. "Because we would all be one people beneath the Mistress, sheltered under her benevolent shadow." He sighed unhappily. "Oh, how I miss her…"

Dean's face sagged. "Yeah, me too…" Bob moaned piteously.

"You guys can't get in touch with her? I thought you had some sort of mystical network thing going on," Leo said.

"We do, but we are too far from her and the rest of our brethren back at the Nihilator headquarters," Vladimir lamented. "I can only just sense them in the back of my mind…I can barely feel the Mistress's all-enveloping darkness at all…"

Dean grimaced. "If it weren't for the fact that I still have the other two in my head, it'd feel like I was all alone…almost, ugh, like being mortal again."

"What's wrong with being mortal?" Leo asked.

"You should know. You want to be immortal, don't you?" Vladimir pointed out. "Which implies you are not satisfied with having a limited lifespan like you do now."

"…Well, yeah, I guess," Leo admitted. "Even before I hooked up with an immortal Ghost, it's what I've wanted."

"We can give it to you, if you wish," Vladimir offered.

"I'll…think about it," Leo murmured. "But anyway…you're too far away to talk to your friends back at the Nihilator base?"

The vampires nodded. "Both our fellow vampires and our allies in the rebel network," Dean said.

"So you have no idea what's going on back there, or even if Gardevoir or this 'Teacher' guy are still okay…" Leo muttered.

"Well, we know they're still alive," Vladimir said. "We can sense that much, and that our numbers are growing, which is a good sign. More than that, though, we cannot say."

"But from the time you guys spent there, you learned a lot about the Nihilators' plans and weaknesses, right?" Leo pressed.

"Oh, most certainly. We would be more than happy to tell you what we know," Vladimir said. "It was an order directly from the Mistress that we get in touch with you if at all possible."

"I'm not sure what good our knowledge will do you, though, considering how difficult it's going to be to even get to the Nihilator fortress in the first place," Dean lamented.

Leo frowned. "Why? Where is it?"

"Somewhere it will be almost impossible to reach," Vladimir said sadly. "None other than-"

"Hello, lords and ladies! How would you like a drink?" a Tangrowth in a waiter's outfit asked as he approached the table, holding a tray with a bottle of wine and half a dozen glasses on it. The vampires tensed, and Bob growled, sensing something…odd that none of them quite understood.

"Oh, 'ow lovely! I suppose I could use somezing to wet my zhroat, after all zis talking," Fantina said. "Sister Lilandra, would you like some?"

"Huh? Oh, uh…sure, why not?" Lily said, remembering at the last second who she was supposed to pretend to be.

"I could use a good drink mahself, sugah! Is that a good vintage, boy?" Leo drawled.

"A very good one. It came from an excellent year," the Tangrowth said, showing them the label on the bottle. They murmured, impressed.

"Why, it's even older than I am!" said the amazed Lily.

"Well, you know what zey say, ze older, ze better," Bow tittered.

"Hmm, I suppose we shall have some as well," Vladimir said, tabling his uncertainties for the moment in anticipation of some fine wine.

"A little blood should make it palatable for us to drink," Dean said. Bob started panting eagerly, but Dean shook his head. "No Bob, you're an unsophisticated mutt. No wine for you." The Electrike whined in dismay and gave the Wooper puppy-vampire eyes, but Dean didn't budge.

"Very good!" the Tangrowth said, putting the tray on the table. "Now, if you'll just let me-"

"Hold on a moment," Butler growled, grabbing the Tangrowth by the arm and pulling him back.

"Hey, let go of me!" the waiter protested.

"Not until we verify this is safe for the Mistress and her guests to drink," Butler said.

Fantina rolled her eyes. "Oh Butler, really!"

"We cannot be lax in the slightest where your protection is concerned, Mistress. You know how ruthless Bellum is," the Dusclops reminded her. Fantina grunted in reluctant agreement.

"Hmm…" Diane picked up the glass and examined it carefully, eyes glowing as she scanned it for any foreign contaminants. "Well, the seal is unbroken, and there's no indication of it being tampered with in any way I can tell…and the ingredients seem to be innocuous, or as innocuous as alcohol ever is."

"You see? Nothing to worry about!" the Tangrowth said.

"Check the glasses just to be safe," Butler said. "Expert poisoners know better than to apply their deadly elixirs in the obvious places. The rims might be envenomed, I've seen it before."

"Ooh, yeah, good idea, hun," Leo said. "And while you're at it, check the bottle or the stems of the glasses for contact poison. Maybe even the tray too, just to be safe."

"An excellent idea, Mother Leonora," said the impressed Diane.

"Oh, come on!" the waiter protested as the Kirlia examined the tray and glasses. "If they were poisoned, wouldn't I be at risk, too?"

"If you were an unwitting pawn rather than the assassin, then yes, you could be," Butler said.

"And besides, you're part Poison-type, so you have a high tolerance to most toxins," Diane said. "Hmm…but I don't sense anything out of the ordinary here. No poisons or curses or traps of any kind that I can make out."

"You see? It's like I said, nothing to worry about," the waiter said.

"I told you zat you were being overly cautious, Butler," Fantina tutted.

"Just doing my job, milady," the Dusclops said, letting go of the Tangrowth.

"Could you do it a little less roughly?" the waiter asked with a huff. "Honestly, some people…"

Butler broke the seal on the bottle, pulled out the cork, and poured an equal amount of wine into each glass. Diane produced a vial of blood and carefully added a few drops to two of the glasses, turning them redder. Her eyes glowed, and the glasses levitated off the tray and into the hands of the Pokémon sitting around the table. "Miladies, milords, and honored guests, I hope you will enjoy this drink," she said primly.

"You can bet we will, hun!" Leo said with a grin.

"But first we must have a toast…it would not be proper without one," Vladimir pointed out.

"Hmm…well, what is it we want ze most right now?" Bow pondered.

"The final defeat of Bellum and her cohorts?" Lily asked.

"A safe journey to Fichina?" Leo suggested.

"A reunion with the Mistress and all our other imprisoned friends?" Dean said soberly.

"Ah, zat is it!" Fantina said brightly. "We shall 'ave a toast to ze defeat of evil and ze safe return of friends. 'ow is zat?"

"I rather like it," Lily said.

"Quite, it sounds most excellent to me as well," Vladimir agreed.

"Very well…" Fantina raised her glass. "To ze defeat of evil and ze safe return of friends!"

"To the defeat of evil and the safe return of friends!" the others echoed, raising their glasses. They clinked them against each other. The Tangrowth grinned beneath the vines covering his face as they opened their mouths to drink, delighted everything was going according to plan…

When suddenly Pikachu, Dawn, and Sasha approached the table. "Your Grace," Pikachu said, bowing. "I apologize for the interruption, but I have recently come into some rather troubling information that concerns one of your guests."

The diners paused, the glasses only millimeters from their mouths. "Que? What is it?" Fantina asked, lowering her glass. The Tangrowth stifled a curse as the others followed suit.

Pikachu turned to Leo. "Mother…Leonora, was it?"

"That's mah name, don't wear it out," Leo said.

"My soothsayer has just had a rather worrying vision…concerning you!" Pikachu said.

Leo frowned, and Lily shot him a concerned look. "Who, me?"

"Yes, you," Pikachu said.

"Hmm, let's hear it, then," Vladimir commanded.

Pikachu glanced at Sasha. "Kutabe?"

The Absol stepped forward. "An enemy from your past thought dead has returned, stronger than ever…a fell demon from the Abyss, who toys with souls and plays games with fates worse than death at stake for any fool enough to challenge him."

Leo started, and Lily gasped. "No! You don't mean…Mewgle's back?" he shouted, so alarmed he forgot his accent.

Sasha nodded. "Yes…that is the fiend's name. He has risen from the depths of the ocean, with a beast known as the Leviathan at his command, seeking vengeance against you."

"Leviathan? Crap. Where's the Royal Knights of Pokelantis when you need 'em?" Leo moaned.

"Ze who?" asked a confused Bow.

"Er, nobody important, sug," Leo said quickly.

Almost identical frowns crossed Fantina and Lily's faces. "Leviathan…I have heard of that beast…" Lily murmured.

Fantina nodded. "As have I…hmm, so zat must have been ze source of ze disturbance in ze ruins of 'yperbeamoria I detected a few days ago. And it 'as been released by Mewgle? I have 'eard of zat name as well…and none of it good."

"No kidding! Mon, I knew I hadn't seen the last of that guy…" Leo murmured.

"Do you think he will come here?" Lily asked.

Dean moaned. "Great, another maniac to worry about…"

"That I do not know," Sasha said apologetically.

Fantina frowned and rose from her seat. "Zis will require swift action…Butler, inform ze security forces zat we may 'ave a demon and somezing even worse on ze horizon."

"At once, milady," the Dusclops said, bowing and disappearing.

"And I find I am no longer in a mood to eat…let us adjourn to my quarters to discuss zis, and certain…ozzer matters in private. Mon beau samurai, since your soozsayer was ze first to be aware of zis zreat, would you care to join us?" Fantina asked.

Pikachu bowed, and Dawn curtsied. "I would be honored, Your Grace." When Sasha didn't do anything, he nudged her, and she quickly did her best to kneel. "However, if this is to be a strategy meeting, I believe there are certain fellow passengers who might be of assistance?"

"Right you are, hun!" Leo said, quickly seeing where Pikachu was going.

Fantina nodded in agreement. "Indeed. Diane, could you please invite Monsieurs Hiori and Rico and Professeur Brindleworz to my suite? Zey may be of use to us."

The Kirlia curtsied. "At once, milady." She Teleported away.

Vladimir sighed. "Oh dear…and I wasn't finished eating, either."

"Eh, we can always order room service," Dean said. Bob didn't say anything, both because he was too stupid to and because he was gnawing on the table leg.

"W-wait!" the Tangrowth protested in alarm. "What about your wine?"

"We don't have time for that now, we have business to attend to," Lily said.

"But surely you have time for one for the road?" the waiter pleaded.

"Well…I never could say no to a glass of fine wine," Bow admitted, reaching for her glass. The others shrugged and reached for their own. Sasha stiffened, danger-sense going off. She opened her mouth in warning…

Abruptly, the nervous-looking Rattata rose to his feet, coughed, and tapped a spoon against his glass. "Ah, excuse me, ladies and gentlemons, could I have your attention please?" He smiled when everyone turned towards him, looks of curiosity and annoyance on their faces. "Yes, thank you. I apologize for the inconvenience, but…" He opened his jacket, and revealed, to their horror, that a rather large and dangerous-looking bomb was strapped to his waist. "I am holding this car hostage, and if my demands are not met, I will blow us all sky-high."

Everyone stared at him in shock. Then all the fighters rose to their feet, the mages started chanting incantations, Bruno strode forward, George aimed her crossbow, Todd took a pictue, and the Rattata tutted and waved a finger in caution. "Ah, ah, ah, I wouldn't do that if I were you. This bomb is rigged to go off if any spell, energy blast, Psychic attack, or Pokémon gets within ten feet of me. I have no wish to kill anyone, but if that is what it will take to fulfill my mission, then that's what I'll do."

"Wh-what do you want?" Silvia cried in alarm. "Because if it's money you want, we have plenty of it, and we'll pay you whatever you want!"

"Wait, we will?" Goldor asked in alarm.

"Goldor, now is not the time!" she hissed.

The Rattata shook his head. "I have no interest in wealth."

"Then are you here to kill us? That's it, isn't it? You're an assassin sent by Bellum or the Nihilators, to silence us and prevent us from telling the whole world what we know!" Vladimir accused. The Tangrowth frowned in puzzlement, because he was pretty sure that was his job. Who was this guy?

The Rattata scowled. "You would group me with the likes of monsters such as them? No, I am not a sinner. I am naught but a humble servant of justice…or rather, Judgment."

Ritchie gasped. "Then you're part of Judgment!"

"Yes, that is what I just said," the Rattata said patiently.

"Er, who now?" Rebecca asked.

"A group of religious zealots sworn to purge the world of all evil by any means necessary, who seek to use the Plates of Arceus to empower their leader with the divine might of the Creator Himself," Cherry said, not looking worried by the terrorist threat in the slightest.

"Oh," Rebecca said.

"We aren't zealots!" the Rattata said angrily. "We are following Arceus' Will! We are the true believers, who seek to enact his grand plan and bring forth the promised paradise on Earth! We're just trying to do it a little ahead of schedule, that's all."

"Yep, sounds like a zealot to me," Briney grumbled, wondering if he should try crushing the rodent's throat with his mind in spite of the warning. How bad could this explosion be, anyway?

Pikachu facepalmed. "Oh for the love of…how many evil organizations trying to take over the world are there?"

"You'd be surprised, hun," Leo said.

"We're not evil! Everyone else is!" the Rattata insisted. "And that's why we must destroy all evil, so the world will be good and pure again!"

"Any world that would be created by such methods can never be considered good and pure!" Sparky said, drawing his sword.

The Rattata sniffed. "Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? In any event…Team Getem, I have been sent to take from you what rightfully belongs to our leader, Light of Justice! Give me the Plates you have collected, or I will destroy this train and everyone on it!"

"We'll never give you the Plates!" Ritchie said. Ash blinked and exchanged looks with Tiny, again feeling a bizarre sense of déjà vu. It was almost as if they'd become side characters in somebody else's adventure…how disconcerting.

"Oh well, I guess we all die then," the Rattata apologized, reaching for a button on his bomb.

"W-wait! Let's not be so hasty!" Rose said quickly.

"Yeah, dude, surely there's some way we can work this out without wiping out!" Zippo said.

"There is nothing to work out. Either you give me the Plates, or I'll kill us all! Judgment can retrieve the Plates from our remains, and you'll all thank me when we get to the Celestial Heavens," the Rattata said.

"…He's totally crazy," said a stunned Buck.

"Yes, well, that's terrorists for you, lad," Briney murmured, trying to think a way out of this.

"I'm not a terrorist! I'm a servant of Arceus!" the Rattata claimed.

"What's the difference?" Max asked. The Rattata fumed.

"Mama, isn't zere somezing you can do?" Bow whispered to her mother as the Rattata argued with Team Getem.

"I'm trying to zink of a way zat won't get us blown up," the Mismagius murmured back. "I could try a containment spell, but I'm not certain ze casting won't set ze zing off before I finish…"

"Couldn't you use that matter-creation trick you've been working on?" Lily asked.

"How? Ze magic I used to make any object to stop him would trigger ze bomb," Fantina said.

"What if you thought up a bombproof metal dome with a radius of eleven feet—just outside of his range-and dropped it on top of him, so when he exploded it would harm nobody but himself?" Leo suggested. "And the floor, I guess."

Fantina gave him a surprised look. "Mon dieu! That's brilliant!"

Leo smirked. "Yeah, I know." Pikachu sighed.

However, she didn't get the chance. "All right, you leave me no choice!" the Rattata declared, seeing Team Getem's desperate attempts to buy some time for what it was. "If you will not give me what I want, then I will take all of our lives instead!" He reached for the detonation switch…

And there was a loud bang and a sharp 'twang,' and suddenly there was an arrow jutting out of his throat and a large bloody hole in his head, with another one in the back of his skull and lots of blood and bone fragments splattering the wall. His jaw dropped, saliva and red foam gurgling from it as he quivered and fell from the floor, quite dead. All eyes turned in astonishment to Sam, holding a smoking gun, and George, who reloaded her crossbow. "What?" the not-Houndoom asked. "He said his bomb would be set off by magic, energy or psychic attacks, or anyone approaching him. He never said anything about fast-moving projectiles."

"Huh, guess we think alike," George said with a smirk. Sam fidgeted awkwardly.

Stunned and still not sure what had just happened, slowly everyone applauded the canine duo. "Sam, I don't believe it! You actually killed someone that was a person rather than a mindless mook with your gun! I can't remember the last time you did that!" said an amazed Max.

"I know little buddy, I'm as surprised as you are," Sam said. "I'm so used to shooting at things that are immune to bullets or using my gun to solve puzzles I'd almost forgotten what it was like to kill someone with it. Sorry about offing your suspect, Looker, but it was him or us."

"Oh, he wasn't my suspect," Looker said.

"He wasn't?" Max asked in surprise.

"Then who was? Er, is?" Sam asked.

"I'd rather not say…" the Croagunk murmured, surreptitiously glaring at one of the other diners.

"Well, that was exciting!" Rebecca commented after the tension eased out of the room and everyone was able to relax again, a pair of conductors coming in to collect the Rattata's body and dispose of it properly once the bomb had been disarmed by a bomb disarming machine Leo had been conveniently carrying in his shell. When asked why he'd been carrying a bomb disarming machine, he explained that all Mothers of the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea had one 'just in case.' When asked why he hadn't used it in the first place, he shouted at them for 'hatin' on his religion.' (Incidentally, that's the same argument he used when someone caught him snogging Lily in the hallway.) "I wish I'd actually been able to see it, though."

"Don't worry, you didn't miss anything," her Girafarig friend said. "Tomorrow, now…that's something you're going to wish you could have seen with your own eyes."

"Why, what's happening tomorrow?" Rebecca asked. Cherry smiled enigmatically and lowered her head back to her plate, levitating some of the food to her backside so her tail could eat. When Cherry said nothing more, the female Hypnos huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're smiling enigmatically, aren't you? I hate it when you do that." Cherry giggled.

"Does stuff like that happen often on this train?" Briney asked, somewhat disappointed he hadn't gotten a chance to bust some heads.

"I hope so, because that was cool!" Buck said.

"Buck!" Silvia cried.

"What? It was!" the Baltoy said, and Briney had to agree.

"You there! Bruno! I thought you were supposed to protect us! How do you explain this utter failure to ensure our safety? That madmon could have killed us all!" Goldor angrily shouted at the Machamp. "I should sue you for failure to live up to your contract!"

Bruno flushed in embarrassment. "Well, I-"

"It wasn't his fault," Cherry spoke up. "The Rattata wasn't wearing the bomb when he came into the room. A collaborator in the kitchen snuck its components into his food, and he constructed it under the guise of eating messily. Since the wards on this car are keyed to pick up hostile magic, rather than technology, it flew under the radar."

"Oh," Goldor said. "Well…I guess I'll sue whoever didn't think to set the wards to watch out for technology, too."

Silvia rolled her eyes. "Must you sue anyone?"

"I'm in the mood to sue someone, womon, and it doesn't matter who!" he snapped.

"So he had an accomplice, huh? I'd better look into that…thank you, miss," Bruno said gratefully to the Girafarig.

"No problem," Cherry said as the Machamp left the car, presumably to take care of the other Judgment member.

"How did you know all that?" Rebecca asked.

"I foresaw myself telling him that," Cherry said.

"…But then…you knew about the bomb all along? Why didn't you warn anyone?" the Hypno demanded incredulously.

"Because if I did, then I wouldn't have had to explain all that to Bruno, now would I?" Cherry said reasonably. "And whenever I change the future, it gives me a migraine, and since I have two heads, it's excruciatingly painful, so it seemed best not to bother." Rebecca sweatdropped.

Diane the Kirlia appeared. "Professor Brindleworth?"

"Yes, that would be me," Briney said.

"Her Grace the Duchess Fantina would like a word with you in her quarters," Diane said.

"Oho, a 'word.' I know what that's a euphemism for," Goldor snickered.

"What?" Buck asked.

His father hesitated. "Er…"

"Ooh, can we come too?" Silvia asked hopefully.

"No," Diane said flatly. Silvia's face fell. (Probably.)

"I'll…get you an autograph or something, mum," Briney promised reluctantly.

"Oooooh, could you?" Silvia asked hopefully. "Thank you ever so much! And if you can't get one of those, a used handkerchief or a lock of her hair will do just as well!"

Her family stared at her. "Mom, is there something you'd like to tell us?" Buck asked slowly.

"I'm starting to think you'd rather be married to her than to me…" Goldor grumbled.

The female Claydol turned red. "Don't judge me!" Briney and Diane sweatdropped.

"That was some nice shooting," George said as she approached Sam, Max, and Looker's table. "What kind of weapon is that?"

"It's called a 'gun,'" Sam explained, showing it off to her.

"My, it's so big…however do you fit it in your holster?" the Mightyena asked, impressed.

"I've never really thought about it, it just manages, somehow," Sam said, glancing at the gun barrel. Max started snickering, much to Sam's puzzlement.

"How does it work?" George asked.

"I pull this trigger, dropping a pre-cocked hammer that discharges a cartridge, causing a projectile called a 'bullet' to fire at high-speeds from the other end and splatter the brains of whatever perp is unlucky enough to get in its path," Sam said.

"It must be very powerful," George said.

"Well, it is a Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum," Sam said proudly.

"…I have no idea what that means," George said.

"I don't think Sam does, either," Max commented.

"Max!" Sam hissed.

"Where can I find one of those?" George asked.

"I'm afraid you can't, there don't seem to be any others in this world," Sam said. "Such a pity."

"What about mine?" Max asked, taking out his gun.

"I meant that mine's the only Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum around, yours is a Luger P08," Sam said. "I don't see why she'd want one like that, mine is much bigger."

"Yeah, well bigger isn't always better!" Max said.

"At least I know how to aim mine," Sam said. "Whenever you fire your gun, you shoot bullets all over the place, I make sure to hit my mark."

"Yes, but does it penetrate?" Max asked snidely. Looker coughed and struggled not to choke on his food.

"It penetrated that rat's head just fine a few minutes ago," Sam pointed out.

George smirked. "Well, perhaps you'd like to show me what else you can hit and penetrate some other time?" Looker's eyes bulged.

"Gladly, I'd love to engage in some target practice with you, maybe you'll provide a better challenge than this onionhead," Sam said, gesturing to Max.

"What'd onions ever do to you, Sam? Huh?" Max demanded.

"They make me cry," Sam said.

"I make you cry, but you never call me 'Maxhead!' Why's that, Sam?" Max demanded. Sam sighed and facepalmed.

"… Target practice. Right," George said, eyes shifting. "That's exactly what I meant."

"How about we meet on the roof at midnight and see what kind of things we can shoot in the pitch darkness?" Sam suggested.

She smirked. "I'd love to."

"Well, this should be an amusing diversion," Sam commented as the Mightyena left.

"…I don't think she was actually asking you to engage in target practice," Looker said.

Sam frowned. "Why, what makes you say that? If it wasn't target practice, what else could it possibly be?"

"I…oh, never mind," Looker groaned, deciding it wasn't worth it.

"Aw mon, I can't believe those jerks followed us all the way here," Ritchie complained.

Zippo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, what a bummer…"

"And we didn't even get to kill him, either," Lu grumbled.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get a chance to kill plenty more Judgment goons some other time," Sparky said, which seemed to cheer the Eevee assassin up a little.

"I for one am happy we didn't have to fight anyone for a change," Rose said.

"I'm not, I like fighting," Salty said.

"I think most of us do," Lu agreed.

"I don't," Cruise said.

"I said 'most,' not all," Lu repeated.

Ritchie grimaced. "I'd hoped we wouldn't endanger anyone by being here…I figured the train would be safe. I can't believe we missed that guy when we scanned the place…maybe all the magic here was interfering with our Aura-sight or something. Too bad Judgment goons don't have an abnormal telltale Aura to distinguish them from everyone else like the Shadow Pokémon of legend. That would sure be convenient." Ash coughed, and Tiny fidgeted nervously. Ritchie didn't notice. "All these people could have been hurt because of us…maybe we should get off at the next stop and find another way to Fichina."

"That would require us having to trek several hundred miles through a very hot, dry, and hostile desert," Sparky said.

"And I don't do deserts," Salty grunted.

"Neither do I, brudda," Zippo said.

"…Zippo, you're a Fire-type," Rose pointed out.

"Yeah, one who grew up on the coast, hanging ten on the big kahunas!" Zippo pointed out. "Besides, deserts are more for Ground-types, anyway."

"Which none of us are, last time I checked," Lu said.

"Um, I am," Cruise pointed out.

"Yes, but you're more suited for mountains than deserts," Lu said, which was true.

"I suppose you guys are right…I guess there's nothing else we can do but keep going and nothing else like this happens again." Ritchie smiled apologetically at Ash. "Sorry about that…one of the hazards of being a group of traveling adventurers, I suppose. Getting attacked by enemies in random places probably isn't something that happens to monks like you, right?"

Ash laughed nervously. "Er, no, of course not. Almost never…" Tiny fidgeted, Ash's deep sense of guilt and embarrassment resonating with his own.

"They don't? Wait, which kind of monk are you, the uber-cool martial arts masters from movies, or the lame-o boring pacifistic kind?" Zippo asked.

"A bit of both. I'm trained to defend myself, but I don't seek out a fight and try to resolve matters peacefully," Ash said, which was a complete and utter lie and he knew it.

Fortunately, Ash was rescued from telling more lies when Diane appeared with Briney. "Monks Hiori and Rico? My Mistress would like a word with you," the Kirlia said.

Zippo Mightyena-whistled. "Oh, a word, huh? I know what that's a euphemism for!"

"What?" Cruise asked innocently.

Everyone hesitated. "Uh…" Zippo said uncertainly.

"Ooh, can we come too? I've always wanted to meet Fantina Fantasma!" Rose asked excitedly.

"No," Diane said flatly. The Tailow's face fell in disappointment.

"I, uh, suppose we could get you an autograph or something," Ash said awkwardly.

"Oh, could you? That would be great!" Rose said excitedly.

"Sure thing," Ash said.

There was a pause. "Aren't you going to ask him to get you a used handkerchief or a lock of her hair while he's at it?" Briney asked.

Rose frowned. "What? No, that would be gross. Why would I?"

"Er, no reason, ma'am," the Metang said quickly.

"Well, zat was certainly an invigorating experience," Fantina commented back at her table. "And it only proves zat we must act swiftly. If someone completely unrelated to Bellum or ze Nihilators was able to almost blow us all up, imagine what sort of damage a demon wielding ze power of ze Leviazzan could cause!"

"Quite a lot, I'd imagine," Pikachu said.

"Then let us return to our quarters so we may plan a proper strategy," Vladimir suggested.

"Indeed," Lily agreed.

"W-wait, what about your drinks? You haven't touched them yet!" the Tangrowth protested as they all got up from the table.

"I don't zink I'm really in ze mood for a drink after zat little scare," Bow said.

"I am, but for somethin' a lot heavier, if y'all catch my drift," Leo said.

"And I'd rather have blood over alcohol any day, to be honest," Dean admitted.

"It would be a shame to waste such fine wine, zough…Butler, could you take our drinks back to ze room? We can have zem zere," Fantina said to her valet as he returned.

"As you wish, Mistress," Butler said.

"N-no! It has to be…I mean…what's wrong with having them right here?" the waiter asked.

Pikachu frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "What business of it is yours where they have their wine? Why do you care so much?"

"Um, I don't, I-I mean-" the Tangrowth said nervously.

Sasha growled, her hair standing on end. "I sensed danger earlier, and I thought it was coming from that Rattata…and it was, but he wasn't the only source! This one is not what he seems!"

Pikachu drew his sword as Dawn reached for the kunai hidden in her robes. "Oh really?"

"N-no! It's not what you think!" the Tangrowth protested.

Vladimir gasped. "Wait a minute…I thought there was something strange about you! Now I know what it is! You have no heartbeat!"

Everyone stared at him. "Vladimir, 'e's a Grass-type. Many of zem don't 'ave 'earts," Bow said.

"Oh. Er, never mind," Vladimir said in embarrassment.

"But there is something wrong with him," Dean admitted. "He looks like a Tangrowth, but he doesn't quite…feel like one…"

"Who are you? Or rather, what are you?" Butler asked angrily, eye glowing ominously.

"W-well, the thing is…oh, the Abyss with it," the Tangrowth groaned, extending his arms past and around the Dusclops to the table, grabbing it by the edge and flipping it over on top of the surprised Butler. Then he hurled a ball of golden energy into the air. "Die, vampires, die!"

The ball burst into an orb of sunlight, casting lethal UV at Vladimir, Dean, and Bob…and doing absolutely nothing because at the last moment Fantina conjured up several mirrors to shield them and deflect the beams of solar energy. The assassin sweatdropped, seeing his Sunny Day stratagem had failed. "Oh, crap."

Pikachu drove his sword into the Vine Pokémon's side. He screamed and staggered back, pink slime oozing from the wound. Pikachu gasped, as did everyone else in the room. "He's a Ditto!"

"It's Brodie!" Lily realized.

"Huh? How'd you know my name?" the faux Tangrowth asked in surprise.

Lily hesitated. "Er…"

"Who hasn't heard of the infamous master of disguise, scourge of Twilight's Edge, and minion of the wicked Bellum?" Leo said quickly.

"I haven't," Buck said.

"Nobody asked you, dear," Silvia said.

"Damn!" Brodie cursed, reverting to his true form. "You may have foiled my plan, but you'll never catch-" With a roar of fury, Butler hurled the table off of him, the piece of furniture flying through the air and smashing one of the fountains. "Eek! Time to skedaddle!" He tried to slither away, only for magical fields to shimmer to life over the doors and windows, sealing him in as the defense wards activated. "Oh, Abyss. Well…fine! If I can't escape, I'll take you all on! I was sent here to kill Fantina and those stool Pidgeys, and that's what I'm gonna do!"

"Brodie, you do realize you're a single mon against a couple of dozen, among which number some of the most powerful mages in the world, right?" Pikachu asked as pretty much everyone in the room got up and drew their weapons or started preparing spells.

Brodie gulped. "Er…well…you may be lots of mons, but I can be any mon! Let's see which of those is stronger, shall we?"

Here's a hint: it wasn't him.

One short and pathetically one-sided beatdown later…

"Okay, that could have gone better," a very beaten and worn-out Brodie moaned.

"You think?" Bruno asked, folding his many arms.

"Ha, did that sucka really think he had a chance against all of us?" Leo taunted.

"Well, he's never been the brightest…er…or so I've heard…" Lily said quickly.

"Yes, I've heard that too," Rose said.

"Do you think we're gonna get to beat him up some more, Sam?" Max asked giddily.

"One can only hope, little buddy," Sam replied.

"Whoa…who'd have thought there'd be two completely different assassination attempts on the same train ride? Pretty wild, huh?" Ritchie asked Ash.

"Uh, yeah, wild…" Ash said. "Certainly never had anything like this happen to us before, right Rico?" The Pupitar nodded uncertainly.

"Oh my…and to think that all this happened while I was in my room…a shame I missed out on all the action," Palmer, a latecomer to the party, said. He was back in his persona of the great wizard Kairyu, and Dawn had no intention of blowing his cover.

"Well, at least you're here now," Pikachu said. He didn't know what was going on between Dawn and the Dragonite, but from the way she'd chased after him earlier he knew something was up with them. He only hoped Dawn would tell him about it later. Yes, he could order her to, but as he'd said before he felt uncomfortable ordering her to do things. Despite everything she'd said, he still preferred to think of her as a friend rather than a servant. "And so long as you don't leave, you shouldn't miss out on anything…"

"Assuming anything happens, that is," Sasha said.

"Oh, something will happen, all right," Cherry said with a vague smile. "Though you may find it…exasperating…"

"And of course, you're not going to tell anyone what that is?" Rebecca asked.

The Girafarig smiled. "Nope! I'm going to have to live through it twice, so I see no reason to lessen the stupidity for anyone else!" Rebecca sweatdropped.

Todd snapped several pictures. "This is gonna be great! I can't wait to see the commission I'll get for this!" he said excitedly after spitting out the latest batch of photos.

"Just like I can't wait to see how much money I'm going to get for suing the train company for letting two assassins onboard," Goldor said cheerfully. Silvia rolled her many eyes.

After thoroughly and utterly defeating Brodie, they'd dragged the shapeshifter to the Judgment agent's old room, since he wouldn't be using it. The Ditto had been placed inside a binding circle so that he couldn't escape or Transform into anything, so it would be easier to question him. The interrogation was open only to the security personnel, which is naturally why just about everyone on the train had joined them to see what was going on.

"All right, talk, Ditto," one of the guards, the Haunter from before, growled. "What exactly were you up to?"

"And what did you do with Moju?" his partner, the Grumpig, asked.

"Moju? Which one was he again? Oh, that's right, he was the Tangrowth, wasn't he?" Brodie belched. "He was delicious."

"Why you-" the Grumpig snarled, lunging forwards.

Bruno grabbed the porcine Pokémon's tail and pulled him back. "That's exactly what he wants. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you riled up." Grumbling, the Grumpig subsided. "Now, Brodie, we can do this the easy way or the hard way," the Machamp said, cracking his many knuckles. "Either you give us the information we want, or we'll pound it out of you."

"And what information would that be, exactly?" Brodie asked.

"You know what it is," George said. "How exactly you were planning to assassinate Her Grace and her guests, and what else your employer has in mind."

Brodie smirked. "And what makes you think I'm gonna tell you any of that?"

"Because if you do not," Butler said ominously. "We can make things very…unpleasant."

"Ooh, this is so exciting," Silvia whispered loudly to her husband. "This is just like one of those police procedural shows or mysteries we like to watch!"

Goldor frowned. "Except the last one I remember that took place on a train revealed that everyone was the murderer…which didn't really make a lot of sense, come to think about it…"

"I never really enjoyed those shows. It seems perfectly obvious right from the start who the criminal is, and once the suspense is gone, it loses a lot of its appeal," Briney complained.

"Well, that's 'cuz you're really smart! Of course you'd figure it out right away," Buck said.

Briney beamed, surprised and flattered. "Why thank you, young Buck."

Brodie snorted. "Unpleasant, huh? You can't possibly threaten me with anything that's worse than what Bellum would do to me if I Rattataed her out."

"Oh really? Because I can think of a few things…" George said.

Brodie smirked. "I can guarantee it's not even near as bad as what she would do."

"Then enlighten us. What exactly would she do to you?" Looker asked.

Brodie told them. They stared at him for a long, long time. Zippo, Dean, Goldor, Todd, Tiny, and Cruise threw up. Max took notes. Fantina sighed, looking more weary than horrified. "Yes, zat sounds exactly like her…"

"Yes," Lily agreed. "Er, based on what I've heard about her, that is."

Bruno sighed and scratched the back of his head uncertainly. "Okay, I got nothing."

"Yeah…I don't think there's anything we could do that's worse than that," a rather pale and alarmed George said.

"Nothing bad enough to make him confess, anyway…" Palmer agreed. "I suppose that rules out torture. Not that I'm an expert in it or anything." Dawn snapped her fingers in disappointment.

"Zen perhaps we should try anozzer tack…using anozzer kind of incentive ozzer zan fear?" Fantina suggested, drifting over. "Brodie, you suffer from a rare genetic deficiency affecting your shapeshifting abilities, oui? You mentioned it back at ze Convocum."

Brodie frowned. "Yeah? What about it?"

"What if I told you I could 'elp you cure it?" Fantina offered.

Brodie considered this for a moment. "Hmm. If it were anyone else, I'd think you were lying to get my hopes up, but since it's you…" He scratched his chin. "The offer's tempting, sure enough, but to be honest, I'm afraid of Bellum more than I desire to get cured. And besides, I've kind of grown used to the taste of Pokémon flesh, anyway."

Everyone made faces except for Sasha, who wistfully said, "Yes, it's a hard habit to get over…er, or so I've heard," she said quickly when everyone stared at her.

"We could offer you protection from Bellum, if zat is what you're afraid of," Fantina offered.

"Considering what Bellum's got planned next for you, I don't really have much confidence in that protection right now," Brodie said. "You may have a better track record concerning her, but the people around you? Not so much. Besides, given what she has in mind for you, at the moment I think I'd be better off placing my bets on Bellum. She'll be furious at me for failing, but she'd be even more furious if I not only squealed but switched sides, so no go."

Fantina frowned. "Is what she schemes truly zat 'orrible?"

Brodie grinned cruelly. "Oh yeah…and I'm never gonna tell you what it is!"

"Well, so much for diplomacy," Bow commented as a disappointed Fantina floated back.

"No offense, Your Grace, but I never really thought he'd go for it, anyway," Diane said.

"Neizzer did I," Fantina admitted. "But still, I 'oped…" She sighed. "Oh well, I guess we will 'ave to try more…forceful measures."

Brodie scoffed. "I already told you, I'm not gonna talk. You can't do anything to me that's worse than what Bellum is capable of!"

"Maybe not, but we 'ave ozzer ways of making you talk," Fantina said, nodding to Bow.

The Drifloon wiggled her tendrils, a gentle breeze filling the room and swirling around Brodie. "Zere. I 'ave cast a truzh spell on you," she said.

"Uh, what good's a truce spell in these circumstances?" Sam asked.

"Not a truzh spell, a truzh spell," Bow enunciated.

"…What's the difference?" asked a confused Max. Bow facepalmed.

"She meant she cast a truth spell, not a truce spell," Lily interpreted.

"Obviously," Leo muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"A truth spell? And that's supposed to do…what, exactly?" Brodie asked.

"Make you tell ze truzh, of course," Fantina said.

Brodie smirked. "Oh, will it now?"

"Yes," Fantina said. "So…tell us 'ow you planned to kill me, and what Bellum is up to!"

"No," Brodie said.

There was an awkward pause. "…What do you mean, 'no?'" Fantina asked in confusion.

"I said no, I'm not going to tell you," Brodie said.

"What? But…I cast a truzh spell! Zat means you are supposed to tell us!" Bow protested.

"No, you cast a truth spell, which means I can't lie. You never said anything about me having to say anything I didn't want to," Brodie said.

They stared at him incredulously. "…That's brilliant," said Goldor. "Simply brilliant. I must remember that, in case I am ever questioned under one, which of course I never will be." Silvia gave him a puzzled look.

"Mon, I can't believe he thought of something like that before I did!" Leo complained.

"Incredible…I don't think that's occurred to anyone before," admitted the disturbed Butler.

"It seems rather obvious in retrospect, though…I wonder why nobody's ever thought of it sooner?" Diane wondered.

"This is why I prefer sodium pentothal, it's much more reliable," Looker said.

"So's breaking knees," Max said fondly.

"Yes, but the blood is harder to get out of the carpet," Sam said. "Vodka works wonders at loosening people's lips, in my experience."

"And at starting wars," Max agreed.

"Well, since that was a bust, let's see if something a bit more forceful won't work," Vladimir said, swishing his cloak and slithering forwards. Eyes glowing, he tried to force his will upon Brodie with the power of vampiric persuasion. "Tell us what we want to know!"

"No," Brodie said.

"Tell us what we want to know!" Vladimir repeated.

"No," Brodie said.

"TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW!" Vladimir shouted.

"No," Brodie said.

"…Why not?" Vladimir asked, disgruntled.

"I don't want to," Brodie said.

"Oh," Vladimir grunted.

Pikachu sighed. "Well, there goes the myth of vampiric mind control."

"Aw, mon!" Leo and Zippo whined at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise.

"I dunno, for a minute there I was actually feeling a little compelled to spill my guts about certain…things that are better off remaining a secret," Ash murmured, glad that Vladimir had been questioning Brodie rather than him. From the uncomfortable looks on the faces of most of the other Pokémon in the car, it was clear he wasn't the only one who'd felt that way.

"Well, maybe you'll feel more inclined to talk after I drink your blood and make you my thrall!" Vladimir hissed, fangs extending.

"I don't have blood," Brodie said.

Vladimir paused. "What if you turned into a Pokémon that did?"

"I still wouldn't have any, it'd just be this pink stuff all the way through," Brodie said. "And trust me, you wouldn't want to try eating it."

"Yeah, it tastes pretty bad," Leo said. Sasha nodded her head in agreement. Everyone stared at them incredulously. Leo flushed. "Er…that's what I've heard, anyway…"

"Um, yes, what he—I mean, she said," Sasha said quickly.

"What if we turned him into a Dark-type? Then we could read his mind," Dean suggested.

"Wait, what?" George asked in alarm. "You can do that?"

"That won't work, the wards on the train prevent any form of mind-reading, Psychic or otherwise," Bruno said. George sighed in relief.

"Well, what if we…relaxed them on this occasion? Just so we can pry into that bloke's head," Briney suggested hopefully.

The Grumpig shook his head. "I'm not sure that'd work…I know from experience that Ditto brains are very difficult to read, even when they're not in their true form. They're constantly shifting and fluid, much like the rest of their body. We'd be more likely to read each other's mind than his if we deactivated the wards."

"Which would probably not be a good idea, given the…more private thoughts we wouldn't exactly like to be shared with the rest of the world," Palmer commented. The other passengers nodded fervently, including Team Aurabolt. Briney sulked in disappointment.

"Well, we could force him to change then force him to talk, we can control Dark-types as well," Vladimir suggested.

"You can…why the Abyss didn't anyone tell me that?" George cried in disbelief.

"Ze binding spell keeps 'im trapped in one form. To change it to force him to become a Dark-type would require us to disassemble ze whole zing and start over, giving him a chance to escape," Fantina said.

"We'll keep him occupied, there's no way he can slip out with all of us here," Bruno said.

"It would also take seven 'ours to make ze new spell," Bow added.

"Oh," Bruno said.

"Well, we have time, I suppose, but I'd rather do it some other way if possible," Sparky said.

"Yeah, since Delight's going to be on soon," Zippo said.

Goldor gasped. "Goodness, I'd almost forgotten! We can't miss that! Come on, let's finish up this interrogation so I can go watch it!" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Another way…Brodie, I don't suppose you'd be interested in a bribe, now would you?" Silvia asked, getting an idea.

"How much are we talking here?" Brodie asked.

"What? No! Absolutely not! We are not giving this ruffian any of our money!" Goldor protested, spluttering furiously.

"But dear, if it gets us some answers-" Silvia started.

"No! I will not have it said that I give money to criminals!" Goldor insisted. "He's not getting a single Poké from me, and that's final!" Silvia sighed in exasperation.

Fantina rolled her eyes. "Well, I suppose I could offer a sum, zen…"

"Lady, it'd take a lot of money to overwhelm my fear of Bellum," Brodie said.

"Zen it's a good zing I 'ave a lot of money, isn't it?" Fantina said. "'ow much do you want?"

Brodie named an astronomically high sum. Everyone gasped, and Fantina blinked. "…Okay, zat's a bit more zan I 'ad in mind."

"I'm not sure even we 'ave zat much money…" Bow murmured in disbelief.

"Like I said, it's gonna take a lot of money to overwhelm my fear of Bellum," Brodie said. "So unless you can match that, I ain't talking."

"Perhaps you would feel more willing to talk if you were Hypnotized?" Rebecca threatened, raising her pendulum.

"Oh boy, Hypnosis. I'll be able to tell you so much in my sleep," Brodie said sarcastically. "Lady, do you really want to hear the sorts of things I dream about? Most of them involve me eating people."

"So do mine," Sasha commented. Everyone stared at her. "Er…sometimes. When I'm really hungry. It's not a regular thing," she lied.

"It is for me," Max said cheerfully. Everyone but Sam stared at him and took a few steps away.

"Nothing else has worked so far, so if Hypnosis is necessary, than that is what I am willing to do," Rebecca said.

"It won't work," Cherry said.

Rebecca paused. "It won't? Why not?"

"Because I haven't seen it working," Cherry said.

"Why?" Rebecca asked.

Cherry shrugged. "I don't know, I just haven't seen you doing it, which means you shouldn't."

"…But how do you know it won't work if I don't try?" Rebecca asked in confusion.

"Because if you do do it, then the future will change, and I'll get a huge migraine, and I've already told you about how I try to avoid those," Cherry said. Everyone facefaulted.

"Oh for crying out loud…this farce has gone on long enough. Max, I think it's time we took matters into our own hands," Sam said, losing his patience. Ash, Pikachu, Sasha, and Tiny exchanged looks of horror, while Leo and Zippo perked up, looking absolutely delighted.

"Oh boy! Want me to go get the crowbar?" Max asked eagerly.

"No, I have something more effective in mind. Here, hold this," Sam said, handing Max his hat and marching over to the edge of the binding circle.

"…This is going to be incredibly stupid, isn't it?" Pikachu groaned.

Probably, Dawn said sympathetically.

"Yep," Looker sighed.

"Without a shadow of a doubt," Cherry said.

"Whoa nelly, this is gonna be so cool!" Leo said giddily.

"Yeah, totally!" Zippo agreed. "Wow, I didn't even know the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea knew about totally awesome guys like Sam and Max!"

Leo laughed. "Honey, just because I'm a nun doesn't mean I can't be hip or in the know!"

"Word, Mother!" Zippo said, high-clawing Leo.

Pikachu and Sparky's faces turned ashen. "Oh no…there's two of them…" they said at the same time. They blinked and looked at each other in surprise.

Sam narrowed his eyes and snarled, and suddenly it was as if he was a completely different canine. "Tell me what you know, slimeball!" he barked at Brodie.

"No," Brodie said.

"You lie!" Sam roared.

"Uh, no I'm not, I'm under a truth spell, remember?" Brodie pointed out.

"Oh, right," Sam said. Everyone sweatdropped. "Tell me more!"

"I dunno, I'm not really an expert in truth spells, I just know that Lady Bow over there cast it on me," Brodie said.

"Zat's right, I did," Bow said.

"That isn't what…" Looking flustered, Sam opted to whip out his gun and point it in Brodie's face. "Talk, slimeball, or I'll give you a mouthful of lead!"

"No," Brodie said.

Sam fired. Brodie's upper half exploded, pink slime splattering all over the circle…then wriggling and slithering back together, reconstituting back into a full Ditto, with an annoyed look on his face. "Ow. That stung. What was the point of that, exactly? I'm immortal, you know, weapons like that aren't really going to do much to me."

"Immortal, huh? Let me give you a tip, buddy. All of us think we're immortal at one point or another. In the bloom of our youth, it seems like we're invincible, that nothing can stop us, that we can take on the whole world, that the sky's the limit…but then as we grow older, we realize that none of our dreams came true. We didn't become President, we didn't date the homecoming queen, we didn't become rich and famous. And we notice that our eyesight's not as good as it used to be, that our hair is graying and thinning, that we can no longer run as far or as fast as you could before. And we realize that time is running out. From the moment we leave the womb, the clock is ticking down to our inevitable demise. We're all born with one foot in the grave. None of us is immortal. Sooner or later, all of us have to pay the piper," Sam rambled.

There was a long pause. Everyone stared at Sam in confusion and dismay. "…Well, that was depressing," Ash said as he tried to comfort a sobbing Tiny.

"Daddy, I don't wanna die!" Cruise wailed.

"Don't worry, buddy, it won't happen for a long, long time," Ritchie assured him, hugging the distraught Pupitar.

"Unless we get killed by Judgment," Lu said.

"Lu!" Sparky hissed as Cruise started crying louder.

"What? It's a very good possibility," the assassin pointed out.

"Mon, and people wonder why I want to live forever…" Zippo complained.

"Oh, you too? Neat!" Leo said.

"Wow, we have so much in common!" said the amazed Zippo.

"I know, isn't it awesome?" Leo agreed. Their friends exchanged looks of horror.

"Well, that was about as stupid as I thought it would be…" Pikachu grumbled.

"It's a good thing we're already rich and famous then, isn't it dear?" Goldor asked Silvia.

"Yes, I suppose," the Claydol said, though she still looked somewhat discomfited by Sam's creepy speech.

"Mom, does that mean I can't be an astronaut?" Buck asked.

"Of course you can, dear, we'll buy you a place on a rocket if that's what it takes," Silvia said.

"Cool!" Buck said.

"I already know the day I'm going to die," Cherry said sadly. "Inevitable in my line of work."

"Is it soon?" Rebecca asked in concern.

"I'd rather not say," Cherry said.

"Eh, nothing I didn't know already," Briney muttered. Dawn, Palmer, Butler, Looker, Bruno and Sasha nodded in agreement.

"Oh mon…when I'm gone, is anyone going to remember me? Will anyone look at my pictures and think of me?" Todd wondered, looking worried. "Will anybody remember my name?"

"Well, it's a good thing we don't have to worry about getting old, eh Dean?" Vladimir asked.

"Yes, we just have to worry about sunlight or silver," the Wooper muttered.

"I'm already dead. Was born dead, actually," Lily said. "So…where does that put me?"

"Right beside me, sugah," Leo said, causing her to smile.

"Sam…do you really believe that?" George wondered, looking alarmed.

"Nah, he just said it to sound deep," Max said.

George sweatdropped. "Oh."

"The fuck are you talking about?" Brodie asked in confusion. "I am immortal. As a Ditto, I can live indefinitely and am almost impossible to kill."

"That's right, he is," Looker said.

Sam blinked. "…Well, why didn't someone tell me that in the first place?" They all groaned.

Fantina cleared her throat. "Well. Um, zank you very much, Sam, but I zink we can-"

"Hold on, miss, we aren't done yet," Sam said.

Max nodded. "Yeah, we're just getting started!"

Pikachu groaned. "There's more?"

"Yep!" Max said.

"Oh boy, oh boy!" Leo said eagerly.

"Is this what I think it is? I hope so!" Zippo squealed.

"Yeah, me too!" Leo agreed. Both Pikachu and Sparky's eyes twitched.

"You see, that was Plan A," Sam said, taking his hat back from Max and putting it on. "And since that didn't work…it's time for Plan B!"

"And that would be?" Brodie asked, unimpressed.

"The 'Yo Mama' jokes!" Sam said triumphantly.

Everyone stared at him. "What," Brodie said flatly while Pikachu and Sparky banged their heads against the wall.

"The 'Yo Mama' jokes!" Sam repeated.

"Yay!" Max cheered.

"Oh, Arceus…" Bruno moaned, facepalming.

"Mama, what-" Bow started.

"I don't zink we really want to know," Fantina said with a grimace.

"No, you certainly don't," Butler groaned.

"Oh, sweet! This is gonna be so awesome!" Zippo said giddily.

"I'd always dreamed of this day…and now that it's here at last, it's even more beautiful than I imagined! Oh, thank you Shaymin! Thank you ever so much for making a poor sister's dreams come true!" Leo cried, clutching his rosary religiously.

This is so going to suck, Dawn thought.

"What is a 'Yo Mama' joke?" Lily asked.

"Nothing good, mum," Briney said.

This was proven to be the case moments later, when Sam and Max began telling them. "Yo Mama's so fat…" Sam said.

"She has more folds than an origami accordion!" Max said.

"Well, that's true…" Brodie admitted. "She is kinda fat, even for a blob of slime…"

"I say, that's rather rude, isn't it?" Silvia sniffed.

"That seems to be the idea, mum," Briney said.

"Yo Mama's so perky…" Sam said.

"The only time she's low is at a limbo contest!" Max said.

"…I don't get it," said a confused Cruise.

"Neither do I, buddy, neither do I," Ritchie said.

George sweatdropped. "Well, this is an…interesting method of interrogation…"

"Yo Mama's so thrifty…" Sam said.

"She brings coupons to the penny arcade!" Max said.

"Ah, sounds like a womon after my own heart," Goldor said. Silvia glared at him.

"Yo Mama's so vulgar…" Sam said.

"Her mouth would make a longshoreman blush!" Max said.

"A what now?" Brodie asked.

"Bah, I can be far more vulgar than that," Salty bragged. Briney frowned, certain he could be even more vulgar if he chose. What did a jelly-limbed Tentacool know about insults?

"Please don't demonstrate it," Happy begged him. "There are children present!"

"Oh, all right…" Salty grumbled reluctantly.

"Yo Mama's so punctual…" Sam said.

"She showed up early for her own funeral!" Max said.

"…But she never had a funeral. She's still alive," Brodie said. "Immortal, remember?"

"Precisely! Hence why she showed up early," Max said. Brodie stared blankly.

"Yeah, that one kind of fell flat…" Ritchie said.

"That's blasphemy, boy! It was awesome!" Leo said fervently.

"Word!" Zippo agreed. Lily sweatdropped.

Pikachu and Sparky continued banging their heads against the wall. Master, please stop, Dawn said in concern.

"Can't. I'm hoping if I hit my head hard enough, I'll either pass out or wake up and find this was all a dream," Pikachu said through gritted teeth.

"Same here," Sparky grunted.

"Well, so long as you don't give yourself permanent brain damage, knock yourself out," Lu said.

"That's the idea," Sparky said.

"This is just as bad as you implied…" Rebecca murmured.

"I told you it would be," Cherry said.

"Yo Mama's so radiant…" Sam said.

"If she fell in nuclear waste, no one would notice!" Max said.

"Is zat an insult or a compliment?" asked the confused Fantina.

"I'm not sure…I zink you are very radiant, Mama," Bow said.

"Why zank you, Bow!" Fantina said, touched.

"Am I radiant, Goldor?" Silvia asked.

"Hmm? Oh, er, yes, of course," Goldor said.

"Yo mama's so-" Sam started.

"Argh! All right, all right, I give! Make it stop! I'll tell you everything!" Brodie yelled.

"Aha! I knew it was only a matter of time before you cracked!" Sam said triumphantly. "And a good thing too, because I was almost out of jokes, and if that happened, we'd have to resort to Plan C…provocative dancing, with my shirt off!" Nearly everyone in the room shuddered. George, on the other hand, looked intrigued.

Max nodded. "It just goes to show you, even bad guys love their mommas!"

"What? No, I hate my mother!" Brodie said. "She always liked cousin Duplica more, just like everyone else…"

"Then why are you giving in?" Looker asked.

"Because those jokes are terrible! I can't stand hearing another one of them!" Brodie shouted. Everyone facefaulted.

"Well, that's just rude!" Sam said, offended. "Look, you've hurt Max's feelings!"

"Yeah, I don't know how I'll ever recover," Max said, looking the same as ever.

"So you're finally willing to talk?" Bruno asked.

"Yes, just don't let those two anywhere near me again!" Brodie said.

"I think most of us can sympathize," Palmer said.

Master, are you all right? Dawn asked Pikachu, who looked rather dazed from his repeated head trauma, in concern.

"Sorry Pichu, can't talk right now, I'm shaving a Primeape," Pikachu said deliriously.

"Oho, I know what that's a euphemism for!" Todd said with a grin.

"What?" Diane asked.

Todd hesitated. "…I'm not sure, actually."

"Me love you very long time!" a cross-eyed Sparky said to Lu.

"Why thank you, dear! That's very sweet of you," Lu said. The rest of the team sweatdropped.

"All right, so talk," the Haunter said. "We already know you disguised yourself as one of the staff by eating poor Moju, but how were you going to kill Her Grace and the others?"

"With poison, of course," Brodie said.

"But there wasn't any poison in the wine or the glasses," Butler said, puzzled. "We checked!" He frowned. "Or did we miss it somehow?"

"No, there wasn't any poison in the wine," Brodie said. "Before dinner, I poured a chemical into the ventilation for the dining car that would affect the air in the room."

"Wait, you poisoned the air? Then…all of us breathed in the dining car, those of us with breath, anyway! Are we all going to die?" Rose cried in alarm.

"No, the filtration spells in the vents would have kept it out if it were that dangerous," the Grumpig said.

"Which is why the chemical was harmless…on its own," Brodie said. "Simply breathing it in wouldn't have done anything. However, once exposed to the air, it would have catalyzed a reaction in the wine I provided for you, making it lethal to drink as soon as it encountered the enzymes in your digestive tracts. Not even Ghosts or vampires would have been immune. And the best part is, it's a slow-acting poison, so you wouldn't realize you were dying until it was too late, giving me the time I needed to make my escape before anyone discovered me. It would only work while in the dining room, however, since the wine would go back to normal once exposed to the regular air in the rest of the train. That's why I got upset when you wanted to have the drinks back in your room, because I knew if you had them there, the plan would be ruined!"

"Mon dieu…what a cunning plan!" said the shocked Bow.

"Oui, just ze sort of zing I would expect from Bellum!" Fantina agreed.

"And since we didn't think to check the wine after it was in the glass, we would have contributed to your deaths by failing to take all the right precautions…" the horrified Diane whispered.

"Mistress, we have failed you. Please forgive us," Butler said shamefully.

"Of course I do," Fantina said graciously. "You are two of my most faizful and loyal servants, how could I not? And besides, it doesn't matter zat you missed it…zanks to zat terrorist's surprising interruption, ze poison never reached our lips."

"Heh, who'd have thought someone from Judgment would actually be helpful for a change?" Ritchie joked.

"It'll probably be the last time, sadly," Salty said.

"A pretty clever plan, really," Leo commented. When everyone stared at him he said, "Uh, but completely wrong, especially since it almost killed me! For shame, Brodie! I hope you get stuck with the really yucky weeds and thorns when you wind up in the Eternal Meadow!"

"The where now?" Brodie asked in confusion. "Oh, whatever. Yeah, it was a good plan…And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling terrorist, and that Absol…whatever her name is…" He frowned. "Come to think of it, have we met before? You look kinda…familiar…" Sasha fidgeted uneasily.

"What else is that dastardly Bellum up to?" Dean asked loudly, before Brodie could realize that Sasha wasn't the only Pokémon in the room that seemed oddly familiar. "Because you certainly can't have been her only plan to get rid of us!"

"Huh? Oh, right…yeah, she has a back-up plan," Brodie said.

"Out with it, then, or we'll have these two tell more 'Yo Mama' jokes," Bruno threatened.

"All right, all right, jeez, I was getting to it! No need to do something we'll all regret later…" Brodie said anxiously.

Sam frowned. "Our jokes weren't that bad, were they?"

"Yes," everyone else said flatly.

"So, what is ze plan?" Fantina asked.

"Well, don't tell her I told you this, but…she's got an ambush planned in the town of Dusty Ditch, which this train should be passing through at about midday tomorrow," Brodie said.

"Dusty Ditch, huh? Can we detour?" Bruno asked the Haunter.

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not. The route through Dusty Ditch's the only way to get to Fichina. If we tried to switch tracks, we'd never get there."

"Then let's stop somewhere else and arrange for alternative transportation," Rebecca suggested. "Surely that will get us out of harm's way!"

"Nope," Cherry said.

"Afraid not," Brodie agreed, not looking afraid at all. "Bellum's already sabotaged the junctions branching off from this track. You have no choice but to keep going forward…to your doom!"

"Well, that's rather inconvenient," Briney said.

Lu sighed. "There goes that idea…"

"If it weren't for the fact that she would brutally kill me, I'd have half a mind to sue that witch," Goldor grumbled.

"What sort of ambush does Bellum have planned for us?" George asked.

"Knowing Moth…er, her, it's probably something terrible," Lily said.

"I don't really know much of the details myself, but she's going to cast something called 'Fimbulvinter,'" Brodie reported.

While the word went over everyone else's heads, Lily gasped in horror, recognizing the spell. "Oh no! Not Fimbulvinter!"

Everyone glanced at her. "You've heard of it?" Todd asked.

Lily started, realizing she'd drawn too much attention to herself. "Er, yes…I…read about it somewhere…in an apocryphal text…" she said vaguely.

"What does it do?" Ash asked, not needing to feign his cluelessness.

"Well, how many of you have heard of Niflheim?" Lily asked.

Most of them hadn't. "Zat is ze elemental plane of ice and snow, isn't it?" Bow recalled.

Fantina shuddered. "And home to trolls and frost giants and ozzer creatures of ze dark and cold. Not a pleasant place, take it from me."

"Well, you know how there are spells that can open portals to other planes, or transport people to them?" Lily asked. "Fimbulvinter is basically the inverse of that."

"What, you mean a summoning spell?" Rose asked.

"Far more than just a summoning spell," Lily said ominously. "Regular summons call forth a creature from another realm. But Fimbulvinter…it summons the realm itself, interposing a large chunk of Niflheim over a place in our world and turning that place into a part of Niflheim."

The mages looked alarmed. "What? But…but that's impossible, isn't it?" Rebecca protested.

"Yeah, doesn't that go against some rule of magic or whatever?" Buck asked.

"Well, any rule can be bent or broken if you have enough power," Palmer said.

"Or money," Goldor said knowingly.

"Which is somezing Bellum certainly has a lot of…" Fantina murmured. "Power, I mean, zhough she's very rich too. But Nifl'eim…to bring a piece of it 'ere is inconceivable! It's anozzer dimension, and isn't supposed to be in ours! To anchor even a small portion of it 'ere she'd need…" She stiffened. "Oh no…"

Lily nodded. "That's right…the reason Bellum's casting the spell in Dusty Ditch is because she needs the sacrifice of at least a couple hundred Pokémon to generate enough power to bring Niflheim here. She's killed everyone in that town just to prepare a trap for us."

Everyone was stunned and disgusted by this revelation. "That's awful," said a shocked George.

"…Dude. That's sick!" said an appalled Zippo.

"Not even my mother is that evil!" said an astonished Rose. Ash found himself relieved to hear this, he wasn't sure if the world could survive having two witches as evil as Bellum about.

"Damn her…" a somewhat recovered Pikachu hissed.

"All those poor people…and they didn't even do anything to her!" Silvia whispered. "They were simply a means to an end!"

"Geez…" Todd murmured.

Vladimir sighed. "Exactly the sort of thing I would expect from her…"

"Hey Sam, does this mean we get to go skiing?" Max asked.

Sam gave him a disgusted look. "Little buddy, I don't think now's the time for that."

"And I suppose you knew this was going to happen?" Rebecca demanded of Cherry.

"Yes," Cherry said sadly.

"And why didn't you tell us, so we could have done something about it?" the Hypno demanded. "And don't give me that migraine excuse, a few hundred lives are more important than that!"

"What could we have possibly done? I didn't even foresee it until it was too late," the Girafarig said. "And Bellum is one of the strongest witches in the world, with some very powerful allies. Almost any safeguard that could have been put in place against her would have failed, and then even more people would have died."

"And as a result, now we're riding straight into an icy trap…" Bruno murmured. "And there's really nothing we can do about it?"

"There are no other stops between here and Dusty Ditch, or…what must be left of it by now," the Grumpig reported.

"We could stop the train here and get out, but…then what?" the Haunter said. "We're in the middle of nowhere!"

"So? We'll just Teleport somewhere, or arrange for another form of transportation," Goldor decided. "There's no reason for us to go straight into this madwomon's trap, now that we know she's set one for us!"

"Yes, zere is," Fantina said coldly.

Everyone looked at her. "What do you mean, Mama?" Bow asked.

"Bellum murdered all zose people to kill us and our guests. All zose deazzs are because of us," Fantina said angrily, embers formed by her rage starting to flicker around her. "Zis…zis is unforgivable. We cannot let ze deazzs of zose innocent people go unpunished. You all may disembark if you choose, because zis 'as nozzing to do wiz you. But I…I will go to Dusty Ditch, and I will make Bellum pay for what she has done!"

"But-but Mistress, you cannot-" Butler started.

"I am ze Duchess of Fichina, and may do whatever I choose!" Fantina snapped. "Bellum 'as zhrown down ze gauntlet. It would be cowardice to turn away, and to ignore ze cries for justice from zose whom she 'as callously slain. I will fight 'er and make 'er pay for 'er crimes, even if I must do it all by myself!"

"…You won't be by yourself," Bow said abruptly. "I will go wiz you, Mama!"

Fantina blinked in surprise. "What? But Bow, you-"

"Bellum will probably 'ave her daughter Marianne zere. It would be unfair for you to 'ave to fight bozz of zem on your own, would it not?" Bow said with a smirk. "And besides, I 'ave a score or two of my own to settle wiz zat Rotom…I still need to make her pay for zat time she ruined my one-'undred and fourzh birzday!"

"We shall accompany you as well," Vladimir said. "It is because of us that Bellum has gone to such extremes, so the deaths of those innocents is on our consciences as well. And besides, we owe her a thing or two for what we endured while in her clutches."

"Actually, I wouldn't mind getting off-" Dean started.

"We shall both accompany you," Vladimir said loudly, glaring at Dean, who sighed and nodded. Bob marked territory in a corner and said nothing, but it could be assumed he was coming too.

Butler sighed. "It is our duty to protect you, Mistress. If you wish to embark on this dangerous endeavor despite our recommendations-"

"As usual," Diane grumbled.

"Then we would be remiss if we did not come along to make sure nothing untoward happens," Butler finished.

"I could dismiss you, you know," Fantina pointed out.

"We would pretend you didn't," Butler said.

"It wouldn't be the first time," Diane agreed. Fantina smiled at them gratefully.

"That bitch tried to kill me and Lilandra too! She's got a reckoning comin' her way!" Leo said, shaking a fist. "I'ma gonna bring down the sweet-scented wrath of Shaymin on her head!"

"Um, yes. Shaymin's flowers may have little power in Bellum's icy domain, but…um…we are grateful to you for your generosity and hospitality, and the…strength of that gratitude shall protect us," Lily said uncertainly. There was no doubt in her mind that she was going, she just needed a believable excuse that everyone else would buy.

"An injustice such as this demands retribution. My sword is yours, Duchess. We shall fight alongside you," Pikachu announced. "It is the honorable thing to do." Sasha and Dawn nodded.

"I agree. I may not have a stake in this, and frozen terrain isn't really my cup of tea, but…I believe I shall come as well, to see how this all turns out," Palmer announced. Dawn smiled gratefully behind her fan.

"The Chosen One and I travel to Fichina to save the world. Bellum is one of those who would destroy the world. Therefore, we cannot turn our backs on the threat she poses. If you will oppose her, then we will aid you in fighting her," Ash declared. Tiny nodded in agreement.

"Heck, then I guess I have to come too…we Aura Guardians have to stick together, right?" Ritchie said. "And besides, what she did's got my blood boiling too. She may even be worse than Judgment! We can't let someone like her go around doing whatever we pleases!"

Sparky nodded in agreement. "My honor dictates I cannot allow any evil I am aware of go unpunished, or let any lady enter battle unescorted. My sword is yours as well, Duchess."

"I guess I'll come too, for the excuse to snowboard if nothing else! I wonder if it's that much different from surfing…" Zippo wondered.

"If he's going, then so am I…somebody needs to patch him up whenever he gets himself in trouble," Rose said, pecking Zippo on the head affectionately. He laughed and waved her off.

"I don't like winter or cold very much, but if my friends are going into it, how can I stay behind?" Happy asked.

"Wherever Daddy goes, I go!" Cruise said firmly. Tiny nodded to himself, commiserating with his sentiment.

"I'm coming too…I'm always happy for a chance to bust some heads!" Salty said. Briney narrowed his eye, feeling like the Tentacool was stealing his lines.

"Well, I can't be the only odd mon out, so…guess I'm part of this as well," Lu said with a shrug.

"Can we go Sam? Can we? Can we huh?" Max begged.

"Well, it's not really our fight, Max, but…I suppose we might as well. Can't think of a good reason not to," Sam said.

"Yay!" Max cheered.

"This isn't really my beat, but I suppose it's worth looking into…I am a law enforcement officer, after all," Looker said, giving in. "I can't just ignore a transgression like this."

"Silvia, you take Buck and get to safety. I'll join them in battle," Goldor said, surprising his wife.

"What! Goldor, what are you talking about?" Silvia asked in disbelief.

"Let no mon say that I ran and hid while others stayed to fight! I know there are those who say that money is all I care about in this world, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Bellum's foul deeds have touched me as much as everyone else here, and I am as determined as they to bring her to justice for it. I am no coward, and I will take on the evilest witch in the world if that's what it takes to prove it!" Goldor declared.

"Then…then I will stay too," Silvia announced, sounding amazed. "How could I possibly leave my husband and fail to witness one of the most selfless and heroic things he's ever done?"

"Then you mean-" Goldor started.

Silvia nodded. "Yes, Goldor. We will stay and fight together…as a family."

"Um, actually, if it's all the same to you guys, I'd be happier getting off-" Buck started.

"Nobody asked you, dear," Silvia said. Buck sighed.

"Then I guess you can count me in too, chaps," Briney said.

"What? But Professor, you can't!" Silvia protested.

"Yes, you are an academic; this is no place for you!" Goldor agreed.

"Far from it, guv! I used to partake in some good ol' fisticuffs all the time back in the day!" Briney said, punching at the air. "I'm a little out of practice, true, but I'm far from rusty!"

"Considering how polished your body is, I should say not," Silvia agreed.

"Besides, all my life I've studied history and read about some of the greatest magical battles in the world…how could I possibly miss a chance to take part in one? To be a part of history? I'm not going to skip out on something like this!" Briney announced.

"Stay behind and miss out on the scoop of a lifetime? No way! I'm definitely going to be there! Besides, you'll need someone to take the pictures to prove that all the cool things you'll do when you get there really happened!" Todd said eagerly, thoughts of winning the Howitzer prize for photography dancing through his head.

"I foresee both of us being there, so that settles that," Cherry said to Rebecca.

"I could just get off, you know. The future isn't set in stone," the Hypno pointed out.

"Yes, but you won't," Cherry said.

"But I could," Rebecca persisted.

"But you won't," Cherry said.

"But I could," Rebecca insisted.

"But you won't," Cherry repeated.

Rebecca sighed, giving in. "I guess I won't…"

"Well, if everyone else is going, then so am I," Bruno decided. "I was hired to protect the passengers on this train, and if all the passengers are going to a fight, then my contract requires me to be there to help you out. And besides, my immunity to magic should come in handy."

"My contract says the same thing, so I'll be there too," George said. She glanced at Sam. "Besides, we still have that shooting contest to get to, right?"

"I'm certainly looking forward to it," Sam said, adjusting his hat.

"Me too!" Max said.

"You aren't invited," Sam said.

"What! Why not?" Max protested.

"Little buddy, you couldn't hit the broadside of a barn if you were standing only inches away from it," Sam said.

"Sam, never say 'broadside' again," Max said.

Fantina blinked, looking surprised and touched. "Zen…all of you will come?...Zank you. Zank you, from ze bottom of my 'eart. You 'ave no idea 'ow much zis means to me. I will be more zan 'appy to fight alongside brave Pokémon like yourselves."

"Think nothing of it, Your Grace," Sparky said. "We are more than happy to assist you, no matter what the consequences may be!" The others nodded, though a few hesitated when they considered what those 'consequences' might entail.

The Haunter sighed. "Well, I don't really recommend it, but if this is the course of action you all choose…then I guess we're going to Dusty Ditch. I'll inform the engineer of your decision."

"No need, I'm right here and heard the whole thing," said the engineer, an Ampharos wearing a striped hat, said.

Everyone stared at the engineer. "What are you doing here?" asked the confused Grumpig.

"Oh, I didn't want to miss out on the excitement, so I came down to watch," the engineer said.

"But…then who's driving the train?" asked the Gastly conductor.

"Nobody, it's on autopilot," the engineer said.

"…But we don't have an autopilot," the Abra waiter said.

The Ampharos's eyes widened in horror. "…Ah, excuse me a moment." She frantically ran out of the room. Everyone sweatdropped.

"You guys are all nuts!" said an amazed Brodie. "You're still going right into her trap, even knowing exactly what she's got in store for you?"

"But of course," Fantina said. "How could we do anyzing less?"

"Especially after all ze trouble she went into to set it up," Bow commented. "It would almost be a pity not to see such craftsmonship first hand, oui?" Mother and daughter laughed.

Brodie sweatdropped. "I, uh, don't suppose that now that I've told you what I know, you guys could just let me off? Because I reeaaaally am not looking forward to having to explain my failure to Bellum after she inevitably wipes the floor with you."

"No," everyone said.

Brodie sighed. "Yeah, that's what I figured…then can I at least have some hors d'oeuvres? I haven't eaten anything since Moju, and I'm starving!"

"Here you go," the Abra said, conjuring a plate and cautiously holding it just over the rim of the binding spell, so that half of it protruded into Brodie's prison.

"Thanks," the Ditto said, extending a pseudopod and grabbing one of the treats. He tossed it in his mouth and started chewing. "Mmm…wow, this is good stuff!"

"Only the best for our passengers," the Abra said.

"Naturally…may I have some more?" Brodie asked.

"Certainly," the Abra said. Brodie greedily grabbed more food from the tray and crammed it into his mouth, juices and crumbs rolling down his front only to be absorbed by the rest of his body.

"…Why are you feeding him? He ate Moju and tried to assassinate some of our passengers!" the incredulous Haunter asked.

"Yes, but it doesn't do to be rude," the waiter said. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Mmmm…yummy," Brodie said, rubbing his stomach and belching. "Ahhh…maybe this won't be so bad after all!"

Several hundred miles away, on a mountaintop overlooking a deceptively quiet and peaceful village in a desert valley with train tracks running through the middle of it…

Bellum's eyes flew open. "Brodie has failed me," she said in a low, cruel whisper. "He shall suffer dearly for this."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you hoping Brodie would fail?" Paul asked as he leaned against a nearby boulder, sharpening his claws against the rock. "Since you wanted the pleasure of killing Fantina for yourself?"

"I did, but I told Brodie I would not tolerate failure lightly, and he must understand that if he works for me, he must always be aware of the consequences," Bellum said coldly.

Paul grinned and straightened up. "Then I'm guessing we're going ahead with the operation?"

Bellum nodded. "We were always going to, even if Brodie had succeeded…I've wanted to try this spell out for decades, and it would be a pity to let an opportunity such as this go to waste. Even if it did not have my most hated rival and individuals capable of exposing our greatest secrets to the world, I would still take any chance available to destroy that blasted train…ban me for eternity, will they? Well, I'll show them what happens to those that incite the wrath of Bellum Yukihimi!" She laughed malevolently.

Paul sweatdropped. "Right…I take it we need the last villager, then?"

Bellum nodded. "Yes…we only require one more death to cast the spell, and that one should do nicely. Marianne!"

The Rotom appeared in a crack of lightning. "Bzzbzbzzzzzz?" she inquired.

"Go fetch our 'special friend', will you? I think she'll want to be a part of this," Bellum said.

"Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!" Marianne buzzed eagerly, turning into a lightning bolt and streaking off towards a nearby peak.

Bellum clapped her hands, and a pair of ice elementals strode up the slope towards them, dragging a beaten and bloody Trapinch between them. "P-please…d-don't hurt me…" the Ant Pit Pokémon sobbed. "You've destroyed my village…you've murdered all my friends and family…please…what more do you want?"

"Your death," Bellum said, conjuring an ice spear and hurling it at the Trapinch, piercing her chest so hard she was ripped from the grasp of her captors and nailed into the side of a boulder.

As she gasped in pain, blood oozing from her wound, Paul stepped forward and disemboweled her with a single swipe of his claws, causing her intestines to spill out on the ground. As he licked the blood and gore from his claws, a shadow passed over him. He glanced up to see their 'special friend' swoop by and alight atop the boulder he'd been leaning against earlier. "Ah, there you are," the Weavile said. "Feeling up to killing one more?"

"If it will make this miserable sweltering wasteland a more proper temperature? I'd be more than happy to," the newcomer said as Marianne danced around its head, grinning wickedly.

The Trapinch's jaws dropped, enough life and consciousness left in her to recognize the latest villain. "You? But…but you are…you are supposed to be one of the great protectors! Why…why are you helping these people?"

"Simple," Articuno said, a cruel smile on her beak. "Because it's fun." She spread her wings wide and flapped once, creating a burst of Sheer Cold that froze the Trapinch solid and covered the boulder in ice. The Freeze Pokémon's talons shot forward and shattered the Trapinch, causing icy chunks of her body to fly all over the place.

Bellum raised her arms, chanting a spell under her breath, and the bits of frozen Trapinch rose into the air and spun in a circle over her, a ball of white energy forming in the center. There was a rumble, and thick gray clouds swirled to life overhead, blotting out the stars and casting the desert in shadow. With a great cry, Bellum, thrust her hands upwards, and the ball of white energy shot into the sky, vanishing into the clouds. There was another rumble, and lights flashed in the clouds, and then…

Snow began falling. Thick, white, wet flakes of snow tumbled from the sky, slowly and gently at first but rapidly picking up in speed and volume, followed by freezing winds and chunks of hail the size of Marianne's head. Patches of ice began to form on the ground and rapidly spread outwards, growing to consume everything nearby. An aurora formed overhead, but unlike the beautiful northern lights, something seemed…wrong with it. The colorful ribbon was twisted, and dark, and writhed like a bound thing in pain. As the blizzard began to grow stronger and colder, more and more of the desert landscape was covered in white, and soon it became impossible to distinguish it from your average arctic vista.

"Whoa…this is…impressive," Paul murmured in amazement, his breath coming out in a thick cloud before his face.

"Ahhhh, much better," Articuno said, preening herself as she exulted in the extreme drop in temperature, the area having gone down several dozen degrees since the spell had been cast and showing no signs of stopping anytime soon. "If only all the world could be like this!"

"It will be, if I have anything to say about it," Bellum said with a grin.

Paul frowned, noticing something odd through the sleeting snow and hail. "Hey…I don't think those mountains over there were here before…were they?" he asked, pointing to some snowy peaks towering over their own.

"And neither was that palace," Articuno commented, frowning at a magnificent structure made of ice crystals that looked like a giant snowflake perched on top of a nearby mountain, shimmering as an aurora circled it. She was pretty certain it hadn't been there just a minute ago. "Hmm, not bad. Looks like the sort of place Suicune would like to live in."

"But not you?" Paul asked.

Articuno shook her head. "Nah, I prefer simpler things…a nest is good enough for me. Well, a nest made of woven metal encrusted with jewels, with dozens of slaves to dote on my every whim, an endless supply of Turkish delights, lots of throw pillows, and some handsome hunks chained up in the back for me to do lots of dirty stuff with-"

"That's more than I really needed to hear," Paul said tersely.

"Bzbzzzbzbzzbz?" Marianne asked her mother.

"No, my child, the best is yet to come," Bellum said. "Open your eyes! Strain your ears! Look around you…listen…behold the wonders of Niflheim!"

They looked and listened. And they began to notice that they were not alone. Shadows drifted past them in the snow, shadows that flitted between snowflakes and hailstones, shadows which became more and more substantial with every second. Shadows that began to take on strange and somewhat troubling forms…lupine creatures like Mightyenas, but larger and colder with jaws that tore and eyes that incited terror; lumbering horned creatures dragging clubs; twisting serpentine wyrms that left ice in their wake…

And, in the distance, what they had initially thought were mountains began moving…and coming closer, the ground shaking with every step. "What…what the…" Paul whispered.

"Bzzzzz…" Mariane buzzed anxiously.

"Is this…supposed to be happening?" asked the concerned Articuno, growing somewhat leery of the solidifying forms and the way they were looking at her.

"As the dimensions overlap, it is only natural that things of one world should cross over to another. Do not fear them, though…they mean us no harm," Bellum said. "After all, are we not creatures of the cold, just like them?" Marianne gulped and quickly shifted into her Frost Forme, just to be safe.

"We have nothing to fear…but the people on those train do, I take it?" Paul asked, a grin forming on his face.

Bellum chuckled. "Indeed…for this is Fimbulvinter, the season of the witch…and it shall bring an end to all who oppose me…"

She laughed as the titanic figures continued their approach, and snow fell upon the desert plains.

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

With a thunderclap that shattered icicles and triggered avalanches, Latias and Latios flew towards Mt. Freeze, winding their way through blizzards and valleys and icy peaks as they approached the wintry mount. On Latios's back, Rayquaza shivered and hugged himself. "Brrrr…rather chilly, isn't it?"

"W-w-well, th-th-they c-c-call it M-mt. F-f-f-freeze for a r-r-rreason," Latios replied, his teeth chattering from the cold. His blue and white down wasn't doing much to protect him from the weather. "H-hey s-s-sis, how much f-further?"

"Not far," Latias said. She glanced back. "Oh, and this should help a bit."

She tossed a ball of light back at them. As it touched Latios's chest, a wave of warmth rippled through him, and he shuddered in relief as the frost and icicles forming on his wings and claws melted off. "Ahhhhh…thanks, sis!"

"Yes, I'm feeling much better now!" Rayquaza, also fully thawed, shouted to her.

"No problem, guys!" she said with a (literally) radiant smile.

"That's it up ahead," Aaron said, pointing to an especially large snowy mountain. "Mt. Freeze."

"And at its top, Krysta…and some answers," Latias said.

They flew up the side of the mountain, soaring past crags and cliffs and startled Ice Pokémon, finally cresting the peak and looking down to see a crater filled with a magnificent and utterly out-of-place jungle spread out below them. Marvelous smells and sounds and heat wafted up from the tropical paradise and into the sensory organs of the amazed travelers. "Whoa…that's so cool! How'd she grow something this big out here in the middle of the frozen wilderness?" Latios asked in wonder.

"Magic, naturally," Aaron said, his disorientation with his Aura-sight being blinded due to the intense magical energy field surrounding the mountaintop not lasting for more than a second.

"You'd need a lot of magic to make something this impressive," Latios commented.

"Well, she is a Ninetales. It is said that the longer they live, the more powerful they become," Rayquaza said. "And legends say the Ninetales of Mt. Freeze is very old indeed."

"She'd have to be, since those same legends also say she cursed a human over a thousand years ago," Latias agreed. "Gary, wasn't it?"

"That's what they said back in town…" Latios frowned. "But…if that was a thousand years ago, then why isn't she dead? I thought Ninetales could only live a millennium, and no more."

"Krysta was killed along with everyone else when Lord Null destroyed the world," Aaron explained. "When the Savior reconstructed it and brought everyone back, her biological clock was reset, giving her an extended lease on life."

"But…that lease must be getting near its end, mustn't it? I mean, that was a thousand years ago, give or take…" Latios murmured.

"She waited as long as she could as a Vulpix before seeking out a Fire Stone," Aaron said. "And…aside from that, she has taken certain measures to prolong her longevity, although she's never been willing to talk about them."

Latios frowned. "Er…what kinds of measures? Like…bathing in the blood of innocent virgins, or devouring souls, or-"

"I told you, she hasn't been willing to talk about it!" Aaron said tersely. "And besides, Krysta would never do something like that!"

"I dunno, didn't she pretty much condemn an innocent Gardevoir to death just because some stupid human pulled on her tails?" Latios asked dubiously.

"Ninetales are very touchy about their tails…and it was a long time ago. She's not like that anymore," Aaron said firmly. "And besides, Gardevoir got better, didn't she?"

"Yeah, after a thousand years of being dead," Latios muttered.

"More like being a disembodied spirit," Rayquaza corrected. "Though not quite a Ghost."

Latios rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"We did not come here to discuss my wife's past or how she retains her youth, we're here to ask her how to restore Latios and Rayquaza to their full power," Aaron said in exasperation.

"And maybe give me a boost too," Latios said.

"Yes, that too," Aaron grumbled.

Abruptly, a pillar of swirling flames arose from the rainforest. "Whoa! What was that?" Latios cried in surprise.

"I think that's our landing beacon," Rayquaza said.

Aaron nodded. "Right, Latias, Latios, let's set down where that fire started."

"No problem," Latias said, already descending towards the jungle.

"Hey, wait for me!" Latios cried, swooping down after her.

As they entered the crater, the cold, dry air of the wintry landscape was replaced by incredibly warm and moist mist rising from the rainforest. Condensation rapidly formed on their skins due to the abrupt temperature change. As they flew into the forest, green rose up on all sides as incredibly tall trees towered all around them, laden with fruits and blossoms and leaves of so many shapes and colors that even the Rainbow bird Ho-Oh would have been envious. Energy seemed to radiate off of every rock and tree and pool of water, energy that filled their bodies to the point of bursting, making them feel like they could take on the whole world. "What is this feeling?" Rayquaza marveled, amazed that he wasn't turning into a Shellgon or resuming his true form due to the power surge. He'd always thought that evolution would feel something like this.

"This place is rich in magic," Aaron commented, ducking to keep from getting hit by a branch. "Not just from Krysta's power, but because of this being a convergence of several lines of magical force. It's only natural that we would feel energized simply by being here."

"This is a sacred place…I can feel it in my bones," Latias commented, taking a deep breath to process the many wonderful scents around her. "Mmm…I almost feel like my old self again…"

As they darted around the trees and over and under vines and branches, trying to keep their jaws from dropping too much at the sheer beauty of the tropical wonderland, their destination soon rose before them: a den made of stone polished by fire with nine twisting, towering columns rising from its top, glowing runes covering their surface. Sitting before the entrance to the den and looking up at them expectantly was an incredibly beautiful Ninetales, with eyes like rubies and fur like spun gold and nine lengthy and luxurious tails spread out behind her like a fan. She smiled joyfully as they landed, rising and walking over to them. "I was wondering when you would get around to coming here. I have been expecting you for quite some time now," she said in a voice like the ringing of silver bells and sweet cinnamon.

"Whoa," said an awestruck Latios. "She's…really hot!"

"Yes, and she's my wife," Aaron said somewhat pointedly.

"Right, right," Latios murmured. "You are one lucky mon, you know that? Congratulations on landing a catch like her! I'm glad you're happy together."

Aaron smirked. "Thanks. I thank Arceus every day for matching me up with her."

"I bet your fangirls don't," Latios said. "Then again, who cares what they think, right?"

Krysta bowed gracefully to her guests. "Divine Guardian, Great Dragon God-King, Noble Latios, and of course, my dear Aura Guardian, welcome to my humble home."

"Did you hear that? She called me noble!" Latios said giddily. Rayquaza rolled his eyes.

Latias bowed. "It is an honor to meet an enchantress as exalted as yourself, Krysta. It is our hope that you can help us resolve the problem which plagues us."

"I will do what I can," she promised. She smiled as Aaron slipped off of Latias and walked over to her. "Aaron, my love, it has been far too long."

"I've only been gone a few weeks, Krysta," he pointed out, bending down to hug her.

"As I said, far too long," she said, kissing him.

"Um. Wow. Should we, uh, should we be watching this?" Latios asked as the kiss deepened and became a lot more…intimate.

"O-oh my," Rayquaza stammered, growing flustered.

"Ahem," Latias coughed.

Reluctantly, the couple broke apart from each other. "I suppose business must come before pleasure…" Krysta said with a sigh.

"We'll make up for it later," Aaron promised. "Now…I suppose you know why we've come?"

The Ninetales nodded. "Naturally. You seek a way to restore Latias and Rayquaza to their full divine power so that they can save the world."

"And maybe give me a little boost too," Latios added. "You know, just so I don't get left behind and all. I'm here too."

They ignored him. "Do you know of a way to fix what has happened to us?" Rayquaza asked.

Krysta nodded. "Of course. I'm disappointed you didn't come sooner, to be honest."

"We had a number of other issues to deal with," Aaron apologized. "So coming to you was not the first thing that came to mind."

"What, not even yours?" Krysta asked with a pout, causing Aaron to blush. "But no matter. You are here now, and that is what matters. However…" She frowned. "While I do know how you can regain your true powers, I must warn you that it will be neither easy nor…pleasant."

"Figures," Latios grumbled.

"When is it ever?" Latias said with a sigh.

"What must we do?" Rayquaza asked.

"Rayquaza, your divine essence fled your body in part due to the failure of the summoning spell and in part because of your…behavior during the ritual," Krysta said, causing the Bagon to fidget. "Do you know where it has gone?"

Rayquaza shook his head. "No. Nuken's had agents searching every inch of Kanjohenn, but so far there has been no sign of it."

"That is because it has gone to ground in a place they might not have thought to look…Wyvern Hill," Krysta said.

"Ah, where it all began…" Latias murmured. "Yes, how fitting…"

Rayquaza gasped. "Wyvern Hill! But…that's impossible, they already looked there!"

"There is more to Wyvern Hill than meets the eye, Rayquaza. You are aware, of course, why that place is considered sacred ground for your Empire?" Krysta asked.

"Well, of course! It's where the Empire was born," Rayquaza said. "I'm its ruler, so it's to be expected that I'd know that, isn't it?"

"Wait, really? That's where the Draconian Empire started?" Latios asked in surprise.

"…Well, yes, what did you think the big monument out front was for?" Rayquaza asked. "Or the temple? Or the field where historic reenactments of the last battle and famous treaty-signing are performed twice daily for tourists, thrice on the holidays?"

Latios sweatdropped. "I, uh, never noticed any of those…" The others facefaulted. "So how did it happen? The beginning of the Draconian Empire? I don't think I ever heard that story."

Rayquaza cleared his throat. "Well, according to the historical texts, thousands of years ago my predecessor-who's also me, somehow, in a way I don't really want to think about too much because it makes my head hurt—grew distant and apart from the rest of the world. From his roost high above the sky, he could see the world and all that dwelled on it, and from that vantage point the affairs and lives of mortals seemed petty and pointless and hopelessly fleeting. He became disenchanted with mortalkind and their endless wars and struggles to survive, preferring his quiet solitude and the company of the stars above to the noise and tumult on the surface.

"But while to Rayquaza events on the world below were small and insignificant, they had a great effect on the people who were swept up in them. Groups of humans and Dragons all across the globe were going to war. Some were humans fighting Dragons, some were humans who had tamed Dragons, some were Dragons who had enslaved humans…regardless, they waged war, centuries-old feuds and grudges and unpaid debts boiling over into full-blown conflict that ravaged countries and killed millions, leaving thousands homeless and destitute and unable to fend for themselves. And while all this happened, Rayquaza soared above, aloof and uncaring. 'After all,' he told himself whenever he began to feel stirrings of guilt or doubt, 'It's my duty to keep the atmosphere clean, to repel stellar invaders or threats, to calm down Groudon and Kyogre whenever they battle each other. This is a mortal matter, and so none of my concern. If I were to interfere, I'd only meddle, and make things worse, and it wouldn't do for that to happen, would it? Besides, it'll all probably blow over in a decade or two, it always does.'

"But he was wrong. It got worse, and the fighting continued for over a century, with the death toll rising higher and higher as the years went by, and showing no signs of calming down. Countless treaties and alliances and truces had been formed, only to be broken and betrayed, to the point where it seemed as if peace would never be a viable option. Many no longer even remembered what that word meant. People prayed to the gods, as they always do in times of turmoil, but by that point Rayquaza was so high in the atmosphere that their words of supplication could no longer reach his ears, and any who tried to ascend to his level fell short, because no Flying Pokémon on Earth could reach the altitude at which he spent most of his time. And for a while, things seemed really hopeless and bleak. But then…

"One day, a prayer finally reached Rayquaza's ears, one so loud and desperate that not even his hardened heart could bear to ignore it. Now, this happened a very long time ago, so specifics are a little vague and differ from telling to telling, but it's universally agreed that a child—though the gender and species are uncertain—climbed to the top of Wyvern Hill after limping for miles from the shattered ruins of its village and the broken and bleeding corpses of its family and, with its last breath, begged for someone, anyone, to please do something. And so…Rayquaza did.

"His heart moved, his disillusionment broken, and his faith in mortals restored, Rayquaza realized how just bad things had gotten on the world below, and decided that even though he was supposed to protect the Earth from external threats, there wasn't really much of a point in doing that if there wasn't any Earth left to protect. For the first time in ages he descended to the world below, calling out to any who still believed in him to flock to his side. Allies coming to him from all over the world, friends both old and new who had the kernel of belief burning in their hearts, Rayquaza flew from battlefield to battlefield, trouncing the armies of every faction and sending them fleeing back to their homelands. Then, before they could recover, he challenged the leaders of the feuding factions to battle. Those who fought him and lost he spared, and those who refused to face him he crushed, taking control of the myriad clans and tribes by force and putting a decisive conclusion to the bloodshed. In the span of just a few weeks, he managed to end a war that had been raging for longer than most people had been alive.

"At the base of Wyvern Hill, the remaining leaders of the factions were forced to sign the Treaty of Draconis, signifying that they would no longer raise tooth and claw against each other and that they all swore fealty to Rayquaza. To make sure they kept their promise, Rayquaza decided to remain somewhat closer to Earth. He realized he'd gotten rather out of touch with the planet he was supposed to protect, and needed to keep a closer eye on it to make sure nothing like this ever happened again. The Sky Tower was erected to give him a floating palace in which he could travel the world in luxury and create a seat of government from which he could lord over his myriad vassal states. Initially, the other nations of the world feared that he would try to conquer them as well, but knowing too well the ravages and catastrophes war could cause, Rayquaza had no interest in making anyone join him by force, he'd already done enough of that for one civilization. If his dominion were to expand—and he had every intention of letting it expand—it would be through peaceful means, and anyone or anything that sought to disrupt that peace would soon wish they hadn't, as their armies were smashed, their leaders thrown down, and their lands and their people forcibly assimilated into the Empire. It has remained that way ever since, and now there are few left foolish enough to challenge our divine right to rule. And that," Rayquaza finished. "Is the tale of how the Draconian Empire rose to power."

"…Wow," Latios said. "Did any of that story actually happen, or is it just one of those national myths countries make up to justify their origins and political stance?" Rayquaza gave him an exasperated look, but said nothing.

"Regardless of the validity of the exact details, Wyvern Hill is where the Empire was forged, and it is also where your predecessor put his greatest secret, something that not even his second-in-commands, Nuken's predecessors, knew of," Krysta said.

"Then how do you know it?" Rayquaza asked, perplexed.

Krysta smiled. "Because I have ways of knowing many secrets."

"And what is this secret?" Aaron asked.

"The elder Rayquaza, like most gods, decided he needed a focus point for his power, a place that he could not only draw strength from, but his power would automatically flow to in case it should somehow be separated from him," Krysta said. "To that end, he created a second, secret temple deep within Wyvern Hill, a temple hidden so well that not even the Draconian priests in the main temple are aware of it."

"Me neither, apparently," Rayquaza murmured, looking annoyed.

"You were probably meant to learn of it when your predecessor passed his power to you, but due to Bellum's meddling and her daughter absorbing part of his essence, you probably missed that bit," Latias theorized.

Krysta nodded. "That witch has caused much harm in her myriad attempts to gain power. She must be stopped…but that is a task for another."

"And our task right now is restoring Rayquaza's power," Latias said. "Which is waiting for him in this hidden temple?"

Krysta nodded. "Indeed, it automatically flew there after the disaster at the summoning ritual."

"Then let's go get it," Aaron said. "Unless…there's a catch we need to worry about?"

"Isn't there always?" Latios lamented.

"I'm afraid that's the case this time, too," Krysta said apologetically. "There are two complications that will make Rayquaza retrieving his power problematic."

Rayquaza sighed in resignation. "And those are?"

"The first is that the entrance to the secret temple only appears once every few centuries, when the Dragon Star reaches its zenith in the heavens," Krysta said.

"Oh, come on!" Latios groaned. "And I'm guessing we can't just blast it open, or Dig, or Teleport in, or…" Krysta shook her head. He sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"The Dragon Star…that thing again?" Rayquaza murmured, recalling how Bellum had called upon its power on that night all those years ago.

"I don't think we can afford to wait a few hundred years," Aaron said.

"Then it's a good thing the Dragon Star will reach its zenith in just a few days," Latias said.

The others perked up at this. "What, seriously? Wow, that's convenient," Latios said.

Rayquaza frowned. "A little…too convenient…"

"Unfortunately, it will be the only part of this task that will be convenient," Krysta said. "Once Rayquaza enters the temple, he will not be able to just take the power. He must earn it."

"Why?" Rayquaza asked. "It's mine, isn't it?"

"Yes…but after the accident at the ritual, your power may no longer consider you to be its rightful vessel," Krysta said.

"But he's the true Dragon God King," Latias argued as Rayquaza's face fell. "He is nothing if not the rightful vessel!"

"Then he must prove it by undertaking a number of Tests of Kinghood," Krysta said. "Trials that will test his strength, his spirit, and his moral fiber. Trials that will see if he has truly learned anything over the last few centuries as Rayquaza, and whether or not he is worthy to continue serving in that office. If he can pass the tests, he will be restored to his godly form."

"And let me guess, if I fail, I die?" Rayquaza sighed.

"No, you get a chance to study, train, and retake the tests at a later date," Krysta said.

"Oh," Rayquaza said, looking relieved. "That's not so bad, then."

"Um, but doesn't that door open only once every few hundred years?" Aaron asked.

"I said he could retake them later. I never said how much later," Krysta said. They groaned.

"Then I will try my best to get it right the first time," Rayquaza said resignedly.

"And if you screw up, I guess we could go to Team Rocket and beg them to let that Celebi of theirs take us to the next point in time when the door opens," Latios said reluctantly.

"Perhaps, but I would rather not have to do something like that at all, if possible," Aaron said. Latias frowned, her thoughts troubled as always where the pink Celebi and her friends was concerned. She knew Paradox well—after all, they were both Guardians, and Latias was great friends with the Celebi's mother—but Latias did not understand what she was doing or why. She did not recall hearing about Paradox or her team being assigned to any mission, but she hadn't heard anything about them going renegade either. That implied that either they had gone rogue but it was being covered up for some reason, or they were on a mission but that was being covered up for some reason…and she, one of the highest-ranking members of the Guardians, had not been informed. This troubled her. What could they be up to that she hadn't been told about, and why hadn't she been told about it?

"Neither would I," Rayquaza said, snapping her out of her thoughts. "And what of Latias? How do we restore her powers?"

"I don't suppose there's a secret temple dedicated to the Guardian of Light or something we could visit?" Latios asked half-jokingly.

Krysta shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. Restoring Latias's full powers is a twofold process. First, Rayquaza must regain his full power, so that the ritual can begin anew."

"Which we can't attempt for another few days," Rayquaza pointed out.

"And what is the other thing?" Aaron asked.

Krysta narrowed her eyes. "You must find the sorcerer responsible for interfering the last time…and make sure that he does not do so again."

"I had thought as much…" Latias murmured.

"I don't suppose you can help us find this guy?" Latios asked.

"I can…but only to a point," Krysta said apologetically.

Aaron frowned. "And why is that?"

"The adversary you face is one whom I have fought many times in the past," Krysta explained. "He is one of the most powerful and dangerous mages alive…all the more so because unlike others of his kind, he does not revel in exerting his power in grand displays for all to see, but uses it in more subtle ways, using it to corrupt and destroy his foes from within. He is ageless and deathless, and has worked for millennia to bring about the return of the Ruler of Evil."

"Sounds like one tough cookie…" Latios murmured.

Rayquaza frowned. "Deathless…you mean we can't kill him?"

"Not as you are now. When Latias regains her full powers, she will be capable of destroying him once and for all. But he was aware of that possibility, so acted to prevent her full incorporation on our world, to preserve his existence long enough to continue his plotting," Krysta said.

"Then if we can't kill him, how are we to defeat him?" Aaron asked, perplexed.

"By binding him," Latias said. "Just as he has bound you here."

Krysta nodded. "That is correct."

"Wait, what?" Latios asked in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Krysta?" Aaron asked in alarm. "Is there something you haven't told me?"

Krysta looked at the ground, ashamed. "I…forgive me, Aaron. I led you to believe that I did not leave this place because my powers would weaken outside this jungle. That is not…the complete truth. You see, I can't leave. Ever. This place, while beautiful, is also my prison."

"…I don't understand," Aaron whispered.

"As I said, I have fought the sorcerer many times before. A few centuries ago, we engaged in final battle atop this mountain, a battle so great that it shook the continent and made it seem as if Mt. Freeze was erupting from the sheer power of the magic we hurled at each other. Too confident in my own skills and power, I pressed him, flinging everything I had at him…and did not realize until too late that was exactly what he wanted. He sprung his trap, triggering a spell that turned my own powers against me, tearing my magical might from my body and anchoring it to this mountain, forcing it to take physical form as the rainforest you see around us…and also creating a cage from which I can never escape. My vaunted strength, the legendary power of a Ninetales, is also the shackle that chains me here. I cannot break this curse, because it is a part of me, and to do so would be to destroy a part of myself. As a result, I have languished here for hundreds of years, helpless and all alone…" She raised her eyes to stare adoringly at Aaron. "Until you came, Aaron, and gave me a reason to live again."

"…Huh. I did not see this coming," Latios said.

"I knew it all along, actually," Latias said.

"Why didn't you mention it before now, then?" Rayquaza asked.

She shrugged. "It wasn't my place to say." They sweatdropped.

Aaron frowned. "Why didn't you tell me all this before now?"

Krysta blushed. "Partly out of vanity. I…have a reputation, and I didn't really want anyone, especially one whom I care for as much as you, knowing the real reason I live on Mt. Freeze isn't because I choose to but because I am a prisoner. And also because…because I knew that if you were aware of the truth of my condition, you would seek out the sorcerer and try to force him to free me, uncaring of the risk to your life."

"You were right, because now I'm going to do just that," Aaron growled. "Where is he?"

Krysta sighed. "Pokémon Square."

They all started at this. "What?" Latios cried.

"But that's not possible!" Aaron protested. "If that were true, I would have sensed him by now!"

"As would I," Latias said, with a troubled frown. "Are you certain of this, Krysta?"

Krysta nodded. "He's been living there for years in disguise, seeking a way to undermine your defenses and disable the town's shield wall so that your enemies could destroy you."

"Impossible…" Aaron murmured in disbelief. "How has he gone unnoticed until now?"

"And how have we failed to spot him?" Latias asked. "I can read the minds of everyone in town at all times, but I never detected anyone like the evil wizard you describe."

"That is because he did not wish you to," Krysta said. "As I told you before, he is one of the greatest mages in the world, and skilled at subtlety and deceit. His mastery over the superstrings is so great that he can actually warp reality around him so that his appearance is whatever he chooses it to be and his mind is shielded even from the eyes of beings like yourself. Were you at your full power, however, you would have spotted him in a heartbeat, which is another reason why he meddled in your summoning, to make sure you did not interfere in his work."

"That explains a lot…" Latias murmured. "But to think he's so powerful! How disconcerting…"

"Yeah, this guy's sounding worse and worse the more you tell us about him," said a worried Latios. "And we're supposed to defeat him how?"

"And another question is why he hasn't done more," said a puzzled Aaron.

Rayquaza nodded. "Yes, if he's truly this powerful, why has he not simply wiped the town from the face of the Earth by now?"

"Because he cannot," Krysta said. "For the same reason the Nihilators have not simply obliterated Pokémon Square from orbit."

They stared at her in horror. "They have that kind of capability?" said a shocked Aaron.

"Since Rayquaza is no longer capable of flying up to destroy their satellites or warships, yes," Krysta said, causing Rayquaza to wince. "However, you need not fear such an airstrike. Pokémon Square cannot be destroyed in such a manner."

"And why is that?" Latios asked.

"The shield wall," Latias realized. "It's protecting the town even when it's switched off, isn't it?"

Krysta nodded. "Even when deactivated, it emits a frequency that neutralizes most forms of hostile magic or technological weaponry that could be brought to bear against the town. The only thing it doesn't neutralize is biological attacks, such as the kind all Pokémon are naturally able to generate, but it's so strong that the majority of those attacks are useless against it anyway."

"But why doesn't it neutralize Pokémon attacks, just to be safe?" asked a confused Latios.

"Because then it would weaken the townsPokémon as well," Latias intuited.

Krysta nodded. "That is correct."

"Ohhhh," Latios said, getting it.

Rayquaza started, an idea occurring to him. "Then…is that the reason the Nihilators have been trying to recruit barbarian hordes to destroy the town, rather than doing it themselves? I was wondering about that."

Krysta nodded. "Indeed. Since barbarians rely more on brute force than on magic or science, they make the perfect pawns to use against Pokémon Square. The Nihilators have been stirring them up and making them stronger in hopes that such a massive assault from their like could possibly overwhelm the shields and penetrate your defenses."

"And could it?" Aaron asked, amazed and impressed by this new information about just how securely his home was safeguarded.

"It might…especially if it were to be sabotaged from within, as the sorcerer is trying to do," Krysta said.

"Then we must stop him," Latias said.

"And we do that…how exactly?" Latios asked.

"Well, if the shield is nullifying most of his magic, couldn't we just fight him?" Rayquaza asked. "Even if we can't kill him, we could at least incapacitate him until something better comes up."

Krysta nodded. "That is what I was going to suggest. However, remember that he is very cunning, and skilled at slipping out of situations that could prove hazardous to him, turning your own attacks against you just as he did to me. To defeat him, you must be just as cunning."

"If we should not challenge him directly, then what would you recommend?" Latias asked.

"Over the years since my defeat, I have been working on a way to trap him," Krysta said. Coiling her tails together and turning around, she bit into the tips of her tails and ripped out nine slender golden hairs. "Take these, and put them in something your adversary is about to eat," she said, depositing the hairs in Aaron's paw. "My magic will do the rest."

Aaron bowed his head. "Thank you, Krysta. I will make him pay for what he has done to you."

Krysta smiled gently. "I know you will."

"Once we have captured him, will you be free from your prison?" Rayquaza asked.

"That…is something I am not sure of," Krysta admitted. "Even though it was his spell that trapped me, it is my own power that forms the bars of my cage. Defeating him may not be enough to release me from here."

"If it's not, then I'll do it," Latias promised. "Once I'm back at full power, I should be able to manage something as simple as that."

"Would you?" Aaron asked hopefully.

"Thank you, Guardian," Krysta said gratefully. "I know that my fate is safe in your claws."

"Um, just one teensy little problem," Latios spoke up. "Namely…how exactly are we going to find this guy, if he's so good at hiding in plain sight? Unless you can tell us who or what he's masquerading as?"

"I cannot, I'm afraid," Krysta said apologetically, causing them to sag in disappointment. "However…I do know someone who can."

"Oh? Who?" Rayquaza asked, their spirits rising again.

Krysta glanced at Aaron. "Zorra."

Aaron stiffened. "Zorra! That…is not a name I have heard in quite some time…"

Latios frowned. "Who is Zorra?"

"Someone from my past…that I did not think I would ever run into again…" Aaron murmured.

"The past has a way of catching up to us, Aaron," Krysta said. "I am aware that things between you were…difficult, but you must try to patch things up with her, because she is the only one who can help us."

Aaron sighed reluctantly. "If I must…"

"Who is Zorra?" Latios repeated. "I feel like we're missing out on something here. Sis?"

"I could tell you, but…I think this is something Aaron needs to explain for himself," Latias said, nodding to the Lucario, who sighed and reluctantly began his tale.

"I left Pokémon Square about a decade ago to become stronger in the ways of Aura so that I could better protect the people I cared for," Aaron explained. "In pursuit of that strength, I sought out Krysta, having heard from Chuck that she might know a few things, given her years and wisdom. Surprised that I had come to her, she agreed to teach me what she knew."

Latios stifled a giggle. Don't even go there, Latias warned him.

"However," Krysta said. "You were not my only apprentice at that time." Latios had to stifle another giggle, and Latias smacked him.

Aaron shook his head. "No…there was another. A Zoroark by the name of…Zorra."

Rayquaza frowned. "A Zoroark? Those are even rarer than Lucario these days…"

"Those guys are supposed to be capable of altering their appearance using illusions, right?" Latios recalled. "Sort of like Sis and I can."

"Except they are far more skilled at it," Latias said. "There are some who think that Zoroark aren't rare at all, that they live in massive communities, but seclude themselves from the rest of the world using their special power."

"Zorra came to me to learn more of the art of illusion, since it is one of the many powers a Ninetales like myself is master of," Krysta explained. "She had a very special talent for illusion, one that far surpassed that of her peers."

"Her illusions had taste, smell, even physical form," Aaron said. "They were so good that even my Aura-sight was tricked into thinking they were real."

"I tutored both of them, and they trained together very closely," Krysta said. "After some initial animosity, they became friends. Very…close friends." Aaron flushed at this.

"I think I see where this is going…" Latios murmured.

Rayquaza nodded. "Same old story…"

"And at the same time, you became very close to Krysta, too?" Latias asked.

Aaron nodded reluctantly. "I liked both of them…very much. Krysta's beauty and grace, her wisdom and experience took my breath away…but at the same time, Zorra's humor and wit, her illusions and exotic, dusky air had a great appeal of its own. It was inevitable, I suppose, that I should find myself attracted to both of them…and they to me." He sighed. "And that…is where things became complicated. I was very fond of both of them…I loved both of them. But in the end, I knew I could only pick one."

"Why?" Latios asked. "Couldn't you have just had both of them? I mean, lots of Pokémon do that all the time…"

Aaron frowned. "I'm not most Pokémon. I'm a Lucario, not a Gallade, who amass extensive harems over their long lives. We are monogamous. It is our way."

"Yeah, and your species is also sort of dying out…ever think there might be some kind of correlation?" Latios suggested. Aaron grunted.

"And in the end, you chose Krysta," Latias said.

Aaron nodded. "In the end, I decided I loved her more, and asked her to be my mate. Zorra, heartbroken, departed Mt. Freeze. I have not seen her since."

"But you must see her again if you are to defeat the sorcerer," Krysta said. "Zorra is the greatest illusionist I have ever met. If anyone can see past the veils our enemy weaves around himself, it is her, one that is just as skilled at fabricating realities to suit her whim."

Aaron sighed. "I understand. I will find her. It will not be…pleasant, though."

"Says you, I'm kind of looking forward to this!" Latios said. Latias frowned at him. "What?"

"Where can we find Zorra?" Rayquaza asked.

"She has made her den in Secretive Forest," Krysta said.

They started at this revelation. "What? So close to town?" Latias asked in disbelief.

"Where better to hide but in plain sight, where no one would ever think to look?" Krysta asked.

"Well, that's unexpected," Rayquaza said. "Although, given the name of the forest, it seems rather obvious in retrospect."

"Do you think she went there because…she hoped she might run into Aaron again one day?" Latios wondered.

"Or perhaps…she felt like she was protecting Pokémon Square in his absence?" Latias said.

"She was there all this time…and I never…" Aaron whispered. He clenched his paws. "…I must set things right with her."

"You must," Krysta agreed. "You must go yourself to Secretive Forest, because it is doubtful she will reveal herself to any but you. However, it will have to wait until tomorrow, because you will be indisposed for the rest of the day."

"I will?" Aaron asked in confusion. Krysta gave him a pointed look, then turned and sashayed into her den, tails waving sensually. It took him a moment to realize what she meant, and then he turned bright red. "Oh. OH! Um…I'll…I'll just, ah…" Coughing in embarrassment, he handed his staff to Latias. "Um, hold onto this, will you?" He turned and followed his mate into her den without another word.

There was an awkward silence. "Well," Latios said finally, a cheeky grin on his face. "It looks like somebody's scoring tonight."

"Yes, and it's not you," Rayquaza said.

"I beg to differ! I have a date with one of your attendants tonight!" Latios said triumphantly.

"She's not really into you, she's just interested because you're my brother and you got to carry Rayquaza around during the battle," Latias said.

"…Yeah, I know," Latios said miserably. "Better than nothing, though…"

"I guess we should be going then," Latias said. "We'll come back tomorrow to pick Aaron up."

"I can't imagine Zorra'll be happy to see him, though, once she smells the other womon all over him…" Latios said.

"Yes, but they're married," Rayquaza said. "No reason to deny them their…privileges, yes?"

"Aren't we kind of in a hurry, though?" Latios asked.

"We can't get Rayquaza's power back for another few days, and the sorcerer hasn't succeeded so far in doing anything other than being an annoyance, so no, we aren't in a rush," Latias said.

Latios frowned. "Then…what do we do now?"

"Go back to town, I suppose," Rayquaza suggested. "Since we'd only get in the way here."

As if on cue, they started hearing long, low moaning from the den. The three of them flushed as they heard panting, and gasping, and shouting… "Okay, I think we've overstayed our welcome," Latios said loudly.

"Er, yes, quite," Rayquaza agreed.

Latias giggled. "Very well, let's leave them alone for the time being. We'll come back tomorrow. They should be done by then."

"One can only hope…" Latios murmured, levitating Rayquaza onto his back.

With that, the dragons vacated the premises, leaving the jungle quiet and empty, save for the vociferous noises of passion emanating from the Ninetales' den. It was probably a good thing Krysta didn't have any neighbors, because they wouldn't really put up with such frequent and loud disruptions like this for very long…

That, or they'd want to watch.

Meanwhile, back in Pokémon Square…

"Isn't this soooo romantic, Gilbert-kun?" Kira asked as she nuzzled the reluctant Gilbert the Squirtle. "Just you and me sitting on the beach, watching the Sun set, basking in the sea breeze and the sounds of the tide and those Dewgong and Sealeo frolicking in the bay?"

Gilbert's eye twitched. "Kira, first off, don't call me '-kun,' I don't think you even know what that suffix means. Second, we're not really alone considering there's SIX OTHER POKÉMON with us!" he shouted, waving at Team GX, Team Pokepals, and Torch the Charmander, who were sitting nearby.

"So good to see you haven't forgotten about me," Torch muttered.

"And third…I don't think those Dewgong and Sealeo are frolicking, or at least, not in the way that you think they are," Gilbert said.

Kira frowned in puzzlement. "Huh? What do you…" She trailed off as she stared at the seals, slowly comprehending what she was looking at. Her face turned very red. "O-oh my!"

"Well, I could have gone without seeing that," George the Chimchar said deadpan.

"On the plus side, now Sapphire won't need visual aids to help her to better understand the…unorthodox explanation of 'the Pidgeot and the Beedrill' Grandpa gave us," Collette said.

"Oh, I saw those ages ago, I got tired of everyone avoiding the subject and just went to ask Nurse Joy. She was very informative," Sapphire said. The others sweatdropped.

"Anyway," Junior said loudly. "When's Team Awesome going to get here? They should have been here by now."

"Team who?" Gilbert asked.

"Team Awesome," Collette said. "You know…Pichu, Matthias, and Max?"

"…Seriously? That's what they called themselves?" Torch asked incredulously.

"You're one to talk, Team Go-Getters," George said snidely.

"Hey, Kira's the one who thought it was a good idea," Torch protested.

"And it was! Isn't that right, Gilbert-kun!" Kira chirped.

"Stop calling me '-kun!'" Gilbert snapped in exasperation, shoving her away. She eagerly shoved him right back, knocking him to the sand, then pinned him underneath her. "Help! She's raping me!"

"Dude, you have a shell. That's like the ultimate condom or something," George said.

"Should we be talking about that sort of thing in front of Sapphire?" Collette asked anxiously. "I mean, she knows what they are now—no thanks to Grandpa—but-"

"Oh, it's no problem. Nurse Joy told me all about those too and how they work," Sapphire said. "In great detail." They sweatdropped.

"Anyway…Hubie!" Junior said, changing the subject. "Why don't you use that Temporal Wail of yours to see when they're going to get here?"

"It's called 'Dimensional Scream,' and it doesn't work that way," Hubie said. "I have to touch a person or object first, and even then there's no telling whether what I see is in the past or the future, or how far it goes in either direction." Hubie, interestingly enough, had a special power known as 'Dimensional Scream,' which allowed him to see visions of the past or future on certain occasions when he touched something, though only when George was nearby, for some reason. Why he had such a power was unknown, though Hubie claimed it was because he was a human from the future, a concept everyone knew was nonsense since humans had been extinct for centuries, so how could new ones possibly pop up in the years to come? They attributed his amnesia and the fact that he'd been found washed up on the town beach to coming from a shipwreck or something. They had less of an explanation for Gilbert, who also had amnesia, was found in the wilderness, and claimed to be a human (albeit one from another universe), but at least the latter was semi-plausible given the thing with Ash and Gary being reincarnations of past humans or humans from another world or whatever their backstory of the day was.

"Then touch one of us and see what happens," Collette suggested.

"Oh! Tell me if Gilbert-kun and I get married!" Kira squealed, jumping off of Gilbert and tackling the startled Piplup.

"Not gonna happen!" the beleaguered Gilbert said as he sat back up.

Hubie stiffened and his eyes shrank as he touched Kira, a dizzy sensation rolling through his brain as his vision flashed into negative and he saw…

"Mmm…mmm…ohhhh, Torch," a Bayleef moaned as she made out with a Charmeleon.

"Oh, Kira…oh…ohhhh," the Charmeleon gasped. "I love you so much…"

"Yes…yes…oh, Arceus YES…And I love you too…But Gilbert-kun can never know!" the Bayleef said, nuzzling the Charmeleon.

"I'm right here, actually, and I'm perfectly okay with it," a Wartortle said as he walked by. "Though you may want to use another room, my date should be getting here any minute now."

"Hi, Gilbert!" a Marill said as she entered the room. She paused and stared at the very embarrassed-looking Bayleef and Charmeleon. "Um, what's-"

"Not important, Sapph," the Wartortle said, sweeping the Marill up and leading her away. "Now, why don't we go make some magic of our own, huh?"

"Well? How beautiful do I look in my wedding dress?" Kira asked eagerly as Hubie was snapped back to the present.

"Um…er…I saw nothing…nothing at all…" the Piplup lied, dazed by the horror he had just witnessed. He would never tell a soul what he had seen…

"Really? But your eyes went all-" George started.

Hubie shoved Kira off and grabbed the Chimchar by the scarf. "I. Saw. NOTHING!"

George laughed nervously. "Right. Nothing. Got it."

Thankfully, it was at that moment Team Awesome arrived. "Hey guys," Pichu said.

"Hey," Collette returned the greeting.

"How'd your test go?" Gilbert asked.

"We'd rather not talk about it," Matthias said wearily.

"That bad, huh?" Junior asked sympathetically.

"That's a bit of an understatement," Max said.

"We got massacred," Pichu moaned, putting his face in his hands. "By Ignik, of all people!"

"Wow. That's gotta suck," George said.

"Yep, you'll never live off the humiliation of that one," Torch agreed.

Collette winced. "Ouch. Grandpa's not gonna be happy when he hears that."

"Or Lucas," Junior agreed. The three members of Team Awesome exchanged uneasy looks.

"We get a do-over tomorrow," Max said finally. "So…I don't suppose you guys could help us keep from screwing up this badly again?"

"Of course we will," Kira promised. "What are friends for?"

"Plus, I get to repay Pichu for ruining my bowtie the other day," Hubie said, rubbing his fins together with an evil look on his face that caused the young mouse to gulp.

"All right," Collette declared as Team Awesome drew their wooden swords and everyone else got up. "Let's start this session! Everyone against Team Awesome!"

"Wait, what?" Matthias cried in alarm.

"That doesn't seem very fair," said a worried Max.

"If you can't beat eight Pokémon fighting you at once, how can you possibly defeat just one?" Sapphire asked reasonably.

Pichu scowled. "Damn you, logic! You've outmatched me again!"

"Let's begin," Collette said, raising an arm. "In three…two…"

"HEEEEELP!"

The eleven children started. "Did you guys just hear that?" Torch asked.

"If by 'that,' you mean the call of someone in distress, then yes!" Junior said.

"And as budding Rescue Teams and Rescue Teams-in-training, it's our duty to help anyone in need!" George said.

"But where is…aha! Look over there!" Pichu cried, pointing his sword further down the beach, where a Happiny was struggling against a small blue aquatic Pokémon over a shimmering blue transparent egg with a red dot inside of it. "There's our target!"

"It's Mimi!" Sapphire gasped, recognizing one of her playmates, a Happiny who was…unusual for a number of reasons. One was that she called herself Mimi instead of Joy, unlike the rest of her family. Another was that she wanted to be part of a Rescue Team instead of a Nurse, which her mother was somewhat reluctant to do but had little choice but to humor her due to Mimi's third unusual trait, namely her unnatural super-strength, which led to some rather frightening tantrums when she didn't get her way. Finally, she had a habit of talking in the third person. Nobody knew why she did this, she just did. She was kind of weird that way.

"But what's that Pokémon she's fighting with? It doesn't look like any kind I've ever seen before…" George murmured.

Max adjusted his glasses. "I believe that is Phione, the Sea Drifter Pokémon."

They started. "Phione? As in, one of the children of Manaphy, that Nihilator admiral Dad beat just a little while ago?" Junior gasped.

"Then that must mean…he's a Nihilator, too!" Collette realized.

"But what's one of his kind doing here?" Matthias wondered. "He must know Nihilators and their ilk aren't welcome here…"

"Who knows? But if he was stupid enough to try and invade our town and steal our eggs, then we'll just have to 'escort' him to the exit, won't we?" Pichu said, eyes flashing as he realized this might be the opportunity he had been waiting for to (literally) make a name for himself. "Let's get him, guys! If my big brothers could beat this guy's dad, then we shouldn't have a problem taking out this one by ourselves!"

"Sounds good to me!" Torch said with a grin.

"Let's do this!" Hubie agreed.

"Chaaaaarge!" Junior bellowed, running ahead of everyone else towards the Phione.

"Hey, wait for us!" Sapphire cried as she and Collette rushed after him, quickly followed by everyone else, all of them shouting battle cries and waving their weapons.

"Please, give me back the egg!" the Phione cried, trying to wrench the ovoid from Mimi's arms. "You have no idea how important it is!"

"No! This egg is Mimi's! You can't have it! Help! Heeeeelp!" the Happiny screamed.

The Phione winced. "Please don't shout! Look, there's no need to make this so difficult, just give me the egg and…huh?" Hearing some shouts, he turned his head and saw the Rescue Teams running towards him. His face paled. "Oh, crud."

"Attaaaaaaack!" Pichu screeched, firing a Thundershock that blasted into the Phione, knocking him away from Mimi with a scream.

"For Pokémon Squaaaaare!" George howled as he leaped onto the Phione and started pummeling him before he could get up. The others quickly surrounded him and joined in.

"Mimi, get out of here, we'll handle this guy!" Kira told the Happiny in between lashes from her Vine Whips.

"Yeah, we'll make him pay for messing with one of our own!" Junior said, stomping on the Phione's head repeatedly.

"Okay! Thank you, Rescue Teams! Mimi will take the egg to safety!" Mimi promised, scurrying away as fast as she could.

"Aaaah! Ow! Stop it! Stop it! Why are you attacking me?" the Phione screamed as he curled into a ball to try and shield himself from the furious blows.

"Because you set foot…er, spike on our shores and tried to attack and rob one of our citizens, Nihilator scum!" Gilbert said, kicking the Phione.

"Yeah, and anyone who does on our watch has to answer to us!" Matthias agreed, stabbing the Phione with his wooden sword.

"Ufh! What? A Nihilator? But I'm not a Nihilator!" the Phione protested in surprise.

The others hesitated. "What do you mean you aren't a Nihilator? You're one of the kids of Manaphy, the traitor legendary who turned on his friends and made the Temple of the Sea into a fortress of evil, aren't you?" asked the puzzled Hubie.

"Daddy said he fought you and your Daddy in the temple and beat you all," Sapphire said.

"If your Daddy is Ash of Team Aurabolt, then yes, that's exactly what happened," the Phione said. "And I was a Nihilator…but only because Papa was! After Grandma Kyogre ate him and he was reincarnated in an egg, we stopped being Nihilators. We didn't like being part of their group in the first place, but only went along with it because Papa did. Once he was out, so were we."

There was an awkward pause. "Then…you mean you aren't evil?" Collette asked slowly.

"No!" the Phione shouted.

"But…then why were you trying to steal the egg Mimi had?" Gilbert asked in confusion.

"I wasn't stealing it, she stole it from me!" the Phione said. "That egg was the last Phione egg Papa laid before he got eaten by Grandma Kyogre and was reborn again. I lost hold of it in a speedy current while entering the bay, and it washed up on shore, where the Happiny got to it before I could. When I tried to take it back from her, she insisted it was hers, then started yelling for help, and you all attacked me for no reason!"

The kids exchanged guilty looks. "Oh…um…sorry…" Torch said apologetically.

"Well, this is awkward…" George muttered, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Oh, mon…Dad is gonna kill us when he hears about this…" Pichu groaned.

Collette nodded in agreement. "Yeah, jumping to conclusions like that isn't the sort of thing we're supposed to do…"

"Wait," Junior said slowly. "Did he say Manaphy laid the egg? But…Manaphy's a guy…"

"Actually, that doesn't necessarily mean anything," Max said. "Contrary to popular belief, female Pokémon aren't the only ones who can lay eggs. There are a number of species, such as members of the Horsea line, where the males do the laying instead. Additionally, species whose genders are more indeterminate such as Voltorb, Porygon, and Magnemite are capable of laying eggs no matter which way they seem to be sexually inclined. That's why Dittos are such good breeders, because they're actually genderless and only take on male or female characteristics and traits to fit in with gendered species like the rest of us, so can reproduce with just about anyone. As such, it is by no means impossible for Manaphy to be capable of laying his own eggs."

"Ah," Junior said blankly.

"That's a lot more information than we really needed to hear," said a grossed-out Gilbert.

"Nurse Joy told me all about that, too, so it's nothing new," Sapphire said. They sweatdropped.

"After Grandma Kyogre laid Papa's egg and left us to fend for ourselves, we delivered it to May, his Mama, and struck out to try and find a new home," the Phione said. "But everyone under the sea had heard how we had helped Papa do terrible things, so wanted nothing to do with us, even though we tried to tell them we were reformed. Turned away at every cave and reef and shipwreck, we finally became so desperate we thought to see if we would be accepted at Pokémon Square, for even though we'd helped the people trying to destroy it, we'd heard that its port was open to any who sought refuge. I guess we heard wrong…"

The kids winced and exchanged even guiltier looks. "No, you heard right," Hubie said quickly. "We just…"

"Jumped to conclusions," Matthias apologized. "We're young and relatively inexperienced. We made wrongful assumptions, even though we're supposed to be better than that. We're sorry. We promise it won't happen again."

"We'd be more than happy to welcome you and the rest of your kind to Pokémon Square, if you've truly changed your ways," Collette assured the Phione.

He smiled in relief. "You have no idea how good that is to hear. The others will be elated to hear that as well. They sent me as an advance scout to test the waters, and gave me the egg in hopes that its presence would make you hesitate to attack me, should you be hostile towards us."

"That certainly worked well for you…" Hubie muttered.

"We'll help you get your egg back from Mimi, then take you to the Mayor to discuss more formal terms of settlement," Gilbert promised.

Pichu nodded. "Space is a little tight right now what with all the other refugees, but there should be plenty of room in Firefly Bay for you and the rest of your kind."

"Um…but if you didn't mention our little…mistake when we take you to see the grown-ups, we'd really appreciate it," Kira said with a blush.

"Well, if you help me get my egg back, I guess I could let it slide," the Phione said good-naturedly. He looked down at his beaten and bloody body and frowned. "We're going to need to do something about all this first, though…"

"Not to worry," Max said. "If I'm correct, your species has the Hydration special ability, which means you recover from ill effects when submerged in water, so…Hubie? Gilbert? Sapphire?"

The three Water Pokémon nodded. "On it!" Gilbert said. He inhaled, and then spat a Water Gun at the Phione. Hubie and Sapphire joined in with some Bubbles.

The water splashed against the Phione, and wherever the liquid touched, his wounds disappeared. "Ahhhh, that's much better," the Phione said in relief once he was back to his pristine blue original self. "Thank you very much!"

"No problem, it was the least we could do for causing all those in the first place," Collette said.

"Still can't believe we did that…" George muttered in embarrassment.

Matthias sighed. "I guess we still have a long way to go before we become top Rescue Teams like our parents and mentors…"

Pichu nodded sadly. "Yeah…oh well. In the meantime, let's help you get your brother or sister back. Er…which is it, by the way?"

"Oh, we go either way," the Phione said. "Much like the Treecko said."

"Ah," Pichu said. "Then you're…"

"Neutral at the moment," the Phione said.

"…Right…" Pichu said slowly, sweatdropping.

"Um…let's go get that egg then, shall we?" Collette said loudly.

"Uh, yes, let's," Gilbert said quickly, glad for the redirect.

They set off after Mimi. They didn't have to go very far, she'd only retreated a few dozen meters down the beach and had stuffed the Phione egg into her rubbery pouch, and was dancing around with it happily. When she saw the others approaching with the Phione, though, she yelped in alarm and started to run away. "Mimi, wait!" Sapphire called. "We need to talk to you!"

"No! You want to take Mimi's egg from Mimi and give it to weird blue Pokémon!" Mimi shrieked, covering the egg with her arms to shield it from them. "Mimi will not give it to you!"

"But Mimi, that egg doesn't belong to you, it belongs to him!...her. It. Whatever," Matthias said.

"Nuh-uh! Mimi found it first. Finders keepers!" Mimi said stubbornly.

"What are you even going to do with that thing, anyway? You're too young to have a baby!" Gilbert said.

"Not true! Mimi is responsible enough for baby. Mimi care for unhatched sisters at Pokémon Center all the time. Mimi is ready to be Mommy to strong baby Mimi can raise to be badass womon warrior like Mimi!" Mimi said proudly, causing the others to sweatdrop.

"Well, you have to admire her spirit," Max admitted.

"Gilbert-kun, give me a baby! I wanna be a Mommy too!" Kira declared.

The Squirtle stared at her in disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Please, Mimi, I beg of you, give the egg back!" the Phione pleaded. "Just like you're responsible for caring for your siblings, so am I! That egg holds the last of my siblings that my Papa made before being karmically devoured by his mother and reborn as a new egg. How can I face the others if I tell them that I lost it?"

Mimi paused at this. "…This egg is your brother or sister?"

"Yes!" the Phione said.

Mimi frowned. "If you were supposed to take care of it, then why did Mimi find it washed up and alone on the beach? Some caretaker you are!"

As the Phione flinched, Collette scolded her. "Mimi! That was uncalled for!"

"Yeah, it wasn't…um…its fault, there was a strong current coming into the bay, and it lost its grip," Hubie said.

"Mimi, you've dropped eggs before. You know how easy it is to slip up," Sapphire said.

Mimi's pigtail drooped. "Those were accidents…and Mimi always caught the eggs…"

"Yes, but you know that accidents do happen," Max said.

"And an accident is what happened to Phione," Torch said.

"And while I'm sure it's thankful that you've been keeping a close eye on it, it really needs it back," Matthias said.

Junior nodded. "Yeah, you've never tried to keep any of the eggs you eggsat for yourself, have you? So why take this one? We know you're not an egg thief."

Mimi sagged. "…Mimi knows Mimi can't keep the egg. Mimi just wanted to be like Mommy. Mommy is the best womon Mimi knows, and even though Mimi doesn't want to be a Nurse like her, Mimi still wants to be as good a Mommy as she is someday."

"And you will be, someday," Collette said kindly. "But not right now. So can you please give back the egg?"

Mimi sighed. "Okay. Mimi will give back the egg." She reluctantly took it out of the pouch and handed it to Hubie, who was the closest. "But take better care of it, okay?"

"No problem," the Phione said, opening his arms to receive the egg from Hubie. He frowned when he saw the Piplup was frozen in place. "Uh, what's the matter?"

"Uh oh," George said in alarm, recognizing the look in his friend's eyes. "He's having another Dimensional Scream!"

"I wonder what it is this time…" Sapphire murmured.

"Maybe the baby Gilbert-kun and I will have someday?" Kira cried hopefully. Gilbert stared at her incredulously.

What Hubie actually saw was something else entirely.

"Heh-heh-heh! Thanks for the egg!" a Zubat screeched, swooping down and snatching the egg from Hubie's flippers.

The Phione gasped in horror. "No, the egg!"

Hubie blinked, snapping out of it. "Guys, someone's going to steal the egg!"

"Heh-heh-heh! Thanks for the egg!" a Zubat screeched, swooping down and snatching the egg from Hubie's flippers.

The Phione gasped in horror. "No, the egg!"

George sweatdropped. "Well, that was helpful."

"Useless-ass psychic powers!" the Piplup swore.

The Zubat deposited the egg at the paws of a large and very noxious Skuntank and Koffing nearby. "Heh-heh-heh! Here you go, boss!"

The Skuntank grinned. "Chaw-haw-haw! Excellent! This is just the sort of thing we've been looking for! An egg as rare as this should fetch quite the profit, don't you think?"

"Whoa-ho-ho! It'll be our biggest haul yet!" the Koffing agreed. "And then Team Skull will be rolling in the Poké!"

Junior growled. "Team Skull…I thought I recognized that stench…"

"Who are they?" asked the confused Phione.

"Team Skull, the local bullies," Kira explained.

"While most Rescue Teams wear the badge and scarf to help people, and others do it to explore distant places, find treasure, or have adventures, some like these guys just want to do it for power," George said angrily.

"When Team Meanies reformed and became Team Nightshade, Team Skull stepped up to take their place…and they're worse than those three ever were!" Sapphire said.

Max wrinkled his nose in disgust. "And smellier, too."

"Heh-heh-heh! Bodily hygiene is for posers!" the Zubat, Chao, snickered.

"And it's not something we can really help, anyway, since Jeremiah and I are naturally smelly Pokémon," the Koffing, Smogon, lamented.

"Now if you'll excuse us, we'll just be taking this egg and going on our way," the Skuntank, Jeremiah, said, taking the egg firmly between his paws.

The Phione gasped. "No, don't!"

The kids tensed, preparing for battle. "Give that back, Team Skull!" Pichu declared, brandishing his sword.

"Yeah, that egg doesn't belong to you!" Collette agreed.

"Give it back, or else we'll take it from you by force!" Gilbert warned the trio.

"Mimi will pound you if you don't give it back!" Mimi roared, reaching into the ground and startling everyone by tearing an enormous boulder twenty times her size out of the sand and raising it over her head. "And tell Mommy not to patch you up afterwards!"

Team Skull's eyes bulged in alarm when they saw the size of Mimi's boulder. "Yikes! I'd forgotten how strong she was…" Jeremiah murmured.

"Looks like we're outnumbered, boss. Does that mean we should use…" Smogon started.

"It?" Chao asked hopefully.

The Skuntank grinned sinisterly. "Chaw-haw-haw…sure, why not? Might as well put these brats in their place and show them what happens to those who oppose Team Skull!"

The kids hesitated. "Um, what's 'it?'" Matthias asked.

"I don't know, but it doesn't sound good…" Junior murmured.

He was right. It wasn't. "Team Skull's Super-Stinky Special Strike, start!" Team Skull declared, striking a strange pose.

"Heh-heh-heh! A rather breezy day, isn't it?" Chao cackled, flapping his wings and generating a powerful Gust that buffeted the kids. They braced themselves against the strong wind.

"What, so you're going to blow your hot air at us? Is that all you got?" Torch taunted as he staggered forward, trying to fight against the wind.

"Whoa-ho-ho! No, that was just the warm-up for this!" Smogon said as he expanded and Jeremiah pointed the tip of his tail at them.

Everyone's eyes widened in horror. "Oh, crap!" Hubie cried.

"Everybody, run!" Collete screamed, ceasing her fight against the Gust and trying to fly away.

Frantic, the others tried to follow suit, except for the Phione, who had no idea what was going on. "Where are you going? I don't understand, why are you running-"

He got his answer when Smogon and Jeremiah released an unbelievably foul cloud of noxious gas that was blown right towards him and the others thanks to Chao's Gust. The cloud of pure stink engulfed them, filling their noses and sticking to their lungs and causing their eyes to water. They collapsed to the ground in fits, the smell so bad they started choking, hacking and gasping as the Poisonous trio cackled malevolently. "Heh-heh-heh! That'll show them!" Chao snickered.

"Whoa-ho-ho! They won't be bothering us anytime soon! It'll take a million showers to get that odor off of them!" Smogon boasted.

"Chaw-haw-haw! Nice show, boys! Now let's get out of here while the getting's good! Team Skull, exit stage left!" Jeremiah announced. With the egg in tow, the bullies scurried away…in the direction of stage right. They never had been good at theater…

Eventually, the cloud of gas dissipated, but the stench clung to the bodies of the thirteen young Pokémon, and they lay heaving and vomiting on the ground, fluid running from their eyes and nostrils as they struggled to drawn clean air into their lungs. "Can't…breathe…" Collette gasped.

"Smells…so…bad," Sapphire moaned.

"You…have it easy…you don't have a nose…like mine!" Junior hacked, rolling around in pain.

"This…stinks!" George coughed.

"Thanks for the…brilliant observation…Captain Obvious!" Hubie snapped before throwing up.

"Gilbert-kun…help me!" Kira wailed. Gilbert responded by throwing up on her. "…That's not helping!" she shrieked, dots swirling at the corners of her vision as the stench and loss of breath came close to knocking her out.

"So bad…tail almost going out…" Torch rasped, the flame on his tail having been almost completely smothered by the gas.

"Mommy…heeeeelp…" Mimi cried weakly.

"No…the egg…come back…come…back…" the Phione moaned before passing out, futilely reaching out towards the fleeing bullies.

"That…could have gone…better," Max wheezed.

"I think…we may need to reconsider…our Team name," Matthias groaned.

"To Team…Utter Losers? I had…the same…idea…" Pichu hacked. He stared up at the sky, head spinning. "This was supposed to be…our big break…not…an utter failure…" His eyes started drooping. "Arceus, we…suck…" Overwhelmed, he fainted. The others soon joined him in blissful if smelly unconsciousness.

They were found on the beach a few hours later by their worried parents, and taken back to the Pokémon Center to be nursed back to health…

After receiving a bath of Tamato juice on the beach, that is. If that kind of stink was allowed in the climate-controlled Center, it would never get out!

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

Banding together for their first true battle as a team, Team Nightshade fought valiantly against the mysterious Riolu and her army of mummies. They watched each other's backs, helping one another when it looked as if one of their friends was going to fall at the hands of one of the undead. They combined their attacks in new and novel ways, creating powerful new moves which crushed their opponents. They relied on the power of friendship and teamwork, trusting in one another and fighting with all their heart.

They also lost miserably. But really, did you expect anything less?

"Well, this sucks," Mary said flatly. She and the rest of the defeated team were forced on their knees before the scythe-wielding Riolu, several mummies gripping each limb and holding claws and blades to their throats to keep them from struggling. She sighed. "Somehow, I knew this was going to happen…"

"You know, when I decided to join your team, I never really expected something like this to happen," Jerry commented unhappily.

Maren sighed. "Tell me about it…every day, it's another thing I was never taught how to deal with. Lava monsters, a two-headed snake, racing, demons, and now this! What's next, aliens?"

"Considering our luck, and assuming we don't die here, I wouldn't be surprised," Mary said.

"I don't believe it," said an incredulous Gary, unable to believe they'd been defeated. "I thought…I thought we'd really changed! I thought we were going to win! I mean, after that big epiphany back in Pueltown, and our victory against Team Perdition…how could we have lost? And to a bunch of zombies, the weakest of the undead at that!"

"They're mummiesss, not zzzombiesss," Evan corrected him.

"What difference does it make?" Gary snapped.

"Mummiesss are ssstronger than zzzombiesss," Evan said. "The procccesss usssed to dry them out and keep them from rotting alssso makesss them tougher and occasssionally endowsss them with sssupernatural powersss, depending on the ssspellsss usssed by the mummifiersss."

"…Well, now you tell me!" Gary groaned.

"I don't understand…how could this have happened?" Janine demanded angrily, struggling against the dozen or so mummies trying to pin her down and ignoring their attempts to force her to calm down. "I am an elite ninja of the Berry Kingdom, daughter of the great Koga! How could I be defeated like this?"

"Well, mummiesss are ssstronger than zzzombiesss," Evan repeated. "And there were a lot of them, at leassst a hundred or more."

"I don't care if they numbered five hundred, one ninja should have been enough to handle all of them!" Janine insisted.

"Ah, and that'sss why you've lossst!" Evan said.

"…What?" asked the confused Janine.

"It'sss the law of conssservation of ninjutsssu," Evan explained. "A sssingle ninja isss an unssstoppable badasss fighting machine! But when you have an army of ninjasss, the badasssery and ninjanesss isss evenly dissstributed among them, making each individual ninja far weaker than they would be on their own."

Janine stared at him for a long, long time. "Evan, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and considering nearly everything else that's come from your mouth, that's saying something."

"Especially since you seem to have forgotten that Janine's the only ninja here, so even if this Taurosshit law of yours existed, it wouldn't effect her," Maren said.

Evan shook his head. "Nuh-uh, the ressst of usss count too. Sssince ssshe'sss part of a team now rather than a sssolo act, her effectivenesss hasss gone to the Abysss. That may be why we lossst, too…there'sss jussst too many of usss on the team now."

"Oh, for the love of…" Janine swore angrily.

"Evan, there's another flaw in your logic," Mary said in exasperation. "There's an army of mummies, more of them than there are of us, and they managed to win. Doesn't that disprove this 'law' of yours?"

"…Huh. That'sss a good point," Evan admitted. He frowned. "Unlesss…a sssingle mummy isss ssso ssstrong that even ssspreading that power out to a hundred mummiesss isss too much to handle! It'sss a good thing there were ssso many of them, or we'd have been in real trouble!"

If they hadn't been restrained, they would have facefaulted. "Evan, there are times when I wish I could kill you," Gary said wearily.

"I shall grant that wish soon enough," the Riolu promised, raising her scythe. "Soon, all of you shall be given the gift of blessed undeath…" She scowled. "A gift that has so far eluded me…"

"Why exactly are you so obsessed with being undead?" asked a confused Jerry.

"So much that you think it's actually a good thing?" Maren added.

"…Hey, I'm undead and I have no problem with it," Gary said, offended.

"Nor should you, for being undead is wonderful! Or so I believe, since I am as yet unable to obtain it," the Riolu sighed wistfully. "All living things fear death, and many go to extravagant extremes to try to put it off, to live forever. But I have been raised among death, with Ghosts as my family, mummies and zombies my playmates, skeletons and things long ceased breathing my closest friends and confidants. As such, I have no fear of it, and see a greater truth: that those who seek immortality are looking in the wrong place. Death is inevitable and comes to all creatures, but on the other side of death is true eternity, as a spirit or one of the myriad kinds of undead, who may endure forever unless some misguided and foolish individual destroys them."

"…Huh. That…actually makes some kind of sense," Gary was forced to admit. "Being undead's pretty cool. It's nice not having to worry about growing old or fat or having to go to the bathroom or dying from food going down the wrong pipe, like I kind of expect to happen to Evan one of these days."

"Yeah, me too," Evan said.

"Pah! What nonsense. As a ninja, I do not fear death, but also have no desire to live forever. I see no appeal in this flawed reasoning," Janine said scornfully.

"But Janine, isn't your brother a Ghost?" Maren pointed out. "And because of your link to him, can't you live pretty much forever?"

"…Yes, well, he's a Ghost, but I'm not," Janine muttered petulantly. Maren sweatdropped.

"So you were raised by Ghosts, and because of that, you think being undead is…what, the way everyone should be, or something like that?" Jerry asked.

The Riolu nodded. "Essentially, yes."

"Then…why haven't you just killed yourself and gotten it over with?" Mary asked.

"That would do no good. I am a user of Aura, and as such am denied undeath," the Riolu said bitterly. "For whatever reason, those in whose veins the power of Aura flows cannot become Ghosts or other kind of undead. They just…die, their spirit going somewhere that we cannot follow nor return from. I have been seeking a way to avoid this so that I, too, may gain true immortality and remain among my loved ones forever, but so far all my efforts have failed."

"Oh," Mary said.

"I guess that's…kind of touching," Jerry said.

"Yes, if you weren't going to kill us!" Gary growled.

"I will spare your existence, honored spirit, if you agree to dwell here among my kindred for all time," the Riolu offered. "We always have room for one more in our humble abode."

"What, and let my friends die? No way!" Gary snarled.

"They would still be with you," the Riolu pointed out. "Just…not quite in the forms you are familiar with. Once I kill them, they will be mummified, so that their spirits will remain with us for all time. If you join us, you will never leave their side. If not…I will be forced to dispatch you from this plane permanently."

Gary blinked. "What? You're asking me to betray my friends? No way! We may not exactly be the best or the closest, but…we're a team, and we stick together! If they die, then so do I! We'll all go to the beyond together!"

"That's…that's really sweet, Gary," said an amazed Jerry.

"Yes, just one problem," Maren said. "You are aware that if we all die, we won't be joining you, since we'll be turned into mummies while you pass over, right?"

"Yeah, we'll all ssstay here," Evan said sadly. "Without you…" He perked up. "Which might not be a bad thing, actually." Mary kicked him. "Ow! What, you were thinking it too!"

"No I wasn't," Mary said angrily. She had, in fact, been shocked at the prospect of life (or unlife? Undeath? What was the proper term?) without Gary. On the plus side, if her skin was dried out maybe she'd lose all that weight in her hips…

"I was," Janine said helpfully.

Gary paused. "Oh. Um…can I have a do-over? Although I'm starting to wonder why I'd want to hang out with these guys to begin with…" The others sweatdropped.

"No," the Riolu said, beckoning at something in the shadows. "You have made your choice, and now you must face the consequences…all of you. Come forth, Sister Nefertiti, and add these sacks of flesh to our family."

"With pleasure, sister," what looked like a blue and yellow sarcophagus hissed as it floated into view. It had menacing red eyes, four ebony hands made of shadows growing from its sides, a simply designed face on its forehead, and white sharp fangs forming a taunting smile.

"Yipe! What kind of Pokémon is that?" asked the alarmed Jerry.

"I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before," said a mystified Maren.

"Nor I," Janine agreed.

"It's…kind of creepy…" Mary murmured.

"It looks like something out of some horror movie set in Pokégypt," Gary agreed. "Evan, I don't suppose you'd happen to know what it is?"

"Um…I think it'sss sssome kind of living sssarcophagusss that guardsss tombsss and cursssesss intrudersss and the like, but itsss name essscapesss me," Evan apologized. "Itsss diet consssistsss of gold and tomb robbersss, and it can turn people into mummiesss with a sssingle touch!"

"That is correct," the horrible animated coffin said, raising its four arms. "As you shall observe for yourselves firsthand…" Its shadowy limbs wavered and stretched towards them as the captives watched in horror and trepidation.

"Well, guys, if this is the last time I ever see you, I'd like you to know it's been an hon…it's been fu…it's been an…interesting experience," Gary managed to say.

"Yeah, that's pretty much how I'd describe it, too," Maren said.

"Except that I would have used less polite terms," Janine said.

"I can't believe thisss isss really the end…Now I'm never gonna sssee Hissssa again," Evan moaned piteously.

"Or my Dad," Jerry agreed, his creepy second head-thing drooping in despair. "This is not how I pictured all this turning out…"

"I don't think any of us did," Maren said sadly.

"Gary," Mary said suddenly. "Since we're about to die, there's something I have to tell you."

Gary smiled. "I know, Mary. I know."

Her eyes widened in astonishment. "You do?"

Gary nodded. "Yeah, it was obvious really…I've known for a long time now."

She blushed. "What…what gave it away?"

"The fact that I saw you do it," Gary said.

Mary blinked. "Huh?"

"I watched you make the lunches for the last few days while invisible. I know you've been putting more jam on your sandwiches than anyone else's, you jam Grumpig!" Gary said.

"Ssshe what?" Evan yelled angrily.

"If we weren't both about to die, I'd kill you," Janine said furiously. "Actually, I may do it anyway, once we're both mummies! A ninja mummy is still stronger than a martial artist mummy any day of the week!"

"…Aren't you overreacting a little?" Jerry asked with a sweatdrop.

"I really like my jam," Janine said curtly.

Maren nodded. "Yes, sometimes she doesn't even bother putting it on bread…of course, there are…alternative surfaces she's willing to apply it to…" She blushed, and everyone else blanched and stared at her and Janine in disgust.

Mary's eye twitched. "But that…that isn't…that wasn't what I was trying to…oh, forget it, it doesn't even matter anymore."

"Okay," Gary said, putting it out of his mind. The Medicham ground her teeth in frustration.

The Riolu scratched her skull helmet. "…Ooookay. Nefertiti, could you maybe hurry it up a little? Maybe when their brains have been dried up they'll be less…"

"Stupid?" the sarcophagus said.

"Yes, that," the Riolu said.

"On it," Nefertiti said. Her hands extended, black palms inches from the faces of her victims…

When somebody shouted, "Wait!"

Nefertiti and the Riolu paused and turned as an elderly Gengar materialized behind them. Evan sighed in relief. "Oh thank goodnesss, it'sss a deusss exxx machina, right when we needed one!"

"What makes you think we're saved?" Mary asked skeptically.

"Becaussse that sssort of thing isss alwaysss what happensss right at the nick of time in sssituationsss like the one we're in!" Evan said.

"How do you know he isn't here to help them kill us?" Jerry asked.

"Which, considering our luck, is not that unlikely a possibility," Maren said.

"A 'diabolus ex machina,' if you will?" Janine said.

Evan hesitated. "Well…oh, crap, we're ssstill ssscrewed, aren't we?"

Surprisingly, they weren't. "Grandfather, what is it?" the Riolu asked, bowing her head respectfully. "We were about to add these trespassers to the family. Did you wish to assist us in facilitating their crossing over?"

The Gengar shook his head. "No…I came to stop you before you did something rash. You must release these Pokémon at once. They are not to be harmed."

"What?" Nefertiti and the Riolu cried incredulously as Team Nightshade sagged in relief.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Gary said.

Jerry nodded. "Yeah, I don't think I'm cut out to be a mummy. I'm already small enough as is, if I became dried fruit I'd probably disappear from view for good." He wiggled his second head and grimaced. "And I'd be stuck with this thing for all eternity…"

"We're…saved? Well, I guess you were right, Evan!" said an amazed Mary, hardly believing she was speaking those words.

"Well, ssstassstically ssspeaking it had to happen sssooner or later," he said smugly.

"Still, knowing us we've probably been spared one horrible fate for an even worse one further down the road," Maren said pessimistically.

"I welcome it as I would welcome any other threat that seeks to kill you or I…with knives," Janine said, causing the Togetic to smile.

"But…but Grandfather, why?" the Riolu demanded.

Nefertiti nodded. "Yes, it is our task to slay any intruder who seeks to desecrate these ruins, with no exceptions!"

"No exceptions but one," the Gengar corrected. He pointed to the thick stone slab covering the entrance to the ruins. "Or do you not see? They are the ones spoken of in prophecy! The ones who shall bring about the resurrection of Lemewria!"

"What?" the Riolu concentrated her Aura, causing it to flare up around her and produce an eerie glow that better illuminated the carvings on the block. Much to her astonishment, and that of Team Nightshade, the most prominent carving on the stone was a worn but still visible relief of what looked like Gary, Mary, Evan, Jerry, Maren, and Janine dancing beneath what looked like some sort of floating island with rays of light shooting out from it.

"It…it cannot be!" Nefertiti stammered in disbelief.

"No way…is that…us?" whispered a shocked Mary.

"Unbelievable…" murmured Jerry.

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Gary, do you know what thisss meansss?" Evan hissed excitedly.

Gary nodded eagerly. "Yeah…we're finally in the big leagues!"

"Uh, how do you get that?" asked a confused Maren.

"All the greatest and most legendary heroes have prophecies foretelling how they're gonna save the world! Ash got one…and if we have one too, that means we may actually have a chance of becoming as good as Team Aurabolt!" Gary said gleefully.

"Wouldn't any prophecy featuring us be a prophecy of doom, though?" Mary asked.

"Oh, most of them are," Gary said. "A great disaster for a hero to stop!"

"I think what she means is, how do you know it's not a disaster we cause?" Janine asked.

Gary paused. "Um…oh. That is a very good point."

"And one you do not have to worry about," the elder Gengar said, much to Gary's relief. "The prophecy foretells of a group of heroes matching your description who will cause the lost land of Lemewria to rise from its watery grave, leading to the beginning of a new era of limitless wonders and prosperity!"

"Okay, that does actually sound kind of good," Maren admitted.

"Are you sure you've got the right Pokémon?" Janine asked cynically.

"Positively! You match the description of the foreordained heroes to a tee!" The Gengar frowned. "Though the Medicham's hips are a lot chubbier than I expected."

"Yeah, we've been telling her to lay off the carbsss for agesss, but ssshe jussst will not lisssten," Evan said, shaking his head pityingly. Mary's eye twitched.

"If we are these legendaries heroes you've been waiting for, then I don't suppose you could have your friends here let go of us?" Jerry asked hopefully.

"What? Oh, um, of course. Release them!" the Riolu ordered, eyes glowing. The mummies glanced at each other, shrugged, and let go of Team Nightshade, allowing the Pokémon back on their feet, rubbing their chafed arms and shoulders to try and get the gross feeling of being touched by shambling undead horrors off of them. The Riolu retracted and holstered her scythe, then bowed in apology. "I am sorry for my error in judgment. I did not realize you were the vaunted personages we have been waiting for. You have been anticipated for a very long time."

"Well…um…don't let it happen again!" Gary said uncertainly.

"Yeah, or we'll…we'll…um…not fulfill the prophecccy, and let Lemewria rot on the bottom of the occcean! Yeah…" Evan threatened lamely.

"What is Lemewria, anyway?" Jerry asked.

"The greatest civilization the world has ever known…a lost land that once existed high above the clouds, until its tragic demise…but that is a story that can wait for later," the Gengar said. He gestured to the slab, eyes glowing as he used Psychic to push it aside with the power of his mind, revealing a stairway descending into darkness. "Come inside, there is much that we must tell you, and only so much time to tell it in!"

"Uh, okay," Gary said.

"Will you give us the Compass piece we came for?" Maren asked hopefully.

"Yes," the Gengar said.

"And sssome food?" Evan asked hopefully.

"Of course!" the Gengar said.

"Are you sure you want to eat whatever ghouls like these are offering?" Jerry murmured.

Evan shrugged. "Hey, I'll try anything onccce."

"And some treasure?" Mary asked hopefully.

"No," the Gengar said sternly.

Mary sighed. "Oh well, worth a try."

"This isn't some sort of trick to make us lower our guard so you can kill us in close quarters, is it?" Janine asked suspiciously.

"No," the Gengar said.

"Just making sure," the Ninjask said.

"Well, I suppose it would be nice to get what we came for without much hassle for a change…or anyone swearing oaths of eternal vengeance against us," Maren said. "So…let's give this a shot."

"Indeed. For as long as you are here, O chosen ones, our home is as your own," the Riolu said.

"Does that mean we're going to have to sleep in coffins like you do?" Jerry asked suspiciously.

The Riolu frowned. "What? No, of course not. Don't be preposterous."

"Yes, she sleeps on top of them. Don't want to disturb the occupants, after all," Nefertiti said. The others sweatdropped.

"Come," the Gengar said again, gesturing to the stairs. "We shall explain everything inside."

Gary shrugged. "Well, okay…guess we should go fulfill our destiny or something."

"It'sss ssso cool that we actually have a dessstiny!" Evan gushed. "Which isss a lot better than what we were before!"

"Before we were a group of antisocial misfits struggling to achieve some good to counterbalance the shitstorm of disasters we cause all around us," Mary said skeptically. "How is this better?"

"Becaussse now we're a group of antisssocial misssfitsss ssstruggling to achieve sssome good to counterbalanccce the ssshitssstorm of disssassstersss we caussse all around usss with a dessstiny!" Evan said firmly. "Which makesss a world of differenccce!" Mary sweatdropped.

Deciding to vacate the eerie mummy-filled plateau for the even eerier undead-riddled crypt below, Team Nightshade reluctantly followed the Gengar and Riolu into the darkness. Nefertiti took up the rear after sending the mummies back to their graves, pausing to look skeptically at the image on the big slab. "You know, I was expecting someone a lot more heroic."

With a shrug, she went down the stairs, pulling the slab back over the entrance behind her and once more sealing the ruins from the outside world, the stone clicking into place with the chilling finality of death itself.

Meanwhile, in Mahjong City…

Both Mewgle and James drew five cards from their deck and glanced at their hands. Mewgle grinned when he saw his cards, knowing that he had already won, James just didn't know it yet. Oblivious to his fate, James said, "As the challenger, I go first! I lay down two face-down cards and summon Clown Lee in Defense Mode!" Two face-down cards appeared on his side of the field, along with a Mr. Mime dressed like a clown (more so than usual, anyway), who promptly knelt, crossed its arms, and turned blue. A holographic display hovering next to it said it had 300 ATK points and 2500 DEF points. There, that should buy me a little time to get a better hand… James thought to himself.

"I'm guessing you have a Clown deck?" Mewgle scoffed. "Hmmph, it figures. You may regret using something so corny and useless once you see the kind of heat I'm packing!"

"There's nothing wrong with using a Clown deck!" James said stubbornly.

"Aside from the fact that it makes you look like an idiot? More than usual, anyway," Jessie said.

James sweatdropped. "Aren't you supposed to be rooting for me?"

"Sorry, positive comments towards anyone who isn't me are hard for me to do," Jessie said.

"That's one of the most wonderful things about you, Miss Jessie!" Buzz said admiringly.

She stared at him. "…Right…"

Mewgle rolled his eyes. "You guys are such losers…anyway, I play the Spell Summoner's Horn!" A card with the image of a horn growing from a blue-haired girl's forehead appeared on the field and started glowing. "With this, I can summon two high-leveled monsters from my deck directly to the field, and I choose Zeedeath—Emissary of the Void and Storm of Light—Envoy of the Void!" The card shimmered and vanished, and two of the monsters he had used to slaughter the Duelists from before appeared in a flash of light…

Holding hands. "Awwww, they're in love!" James squealed. "I always knew there was something between them!"

"Oh, you ship them too?" Mewgle asked.

"Definitely! They're clearly meant for each other!" James said.

Mewgle nodded. "Totally, what with their always rambling about the Void and how all things must be consumed by it and all. They're two of a kind!"

"Definitely!" James agreed.

Jessie sweatdropped. "…They're commiserating over a pairing they both support?"

"Well, at least Mewgle hasn't killed anyone yet," Buzz said optimistically.

Naturally, that wasn't going to last long. "Next, I play the Field Spell, Casinotropolis!" Mewgle said, slotting a card into his Disk. The room shook, and gaudily-colored holographic buildings covered in neon appeared all around them. The floor shimmered and turned into a craps table. A big spinning roulette wheel materialized overhead, and poker chips, dice, and cards whirled around it. Giant slot machines popped up on all sides, levers pulling themselves and causing their wheels to spin wildly, colorful images flickering across their faces.

"Oooh…" James said, marveled by the light show.

"It's magnificent! I don't suppose we could get any money here, could we?" Jessie asked greedily, Poké signs appearing in her eyes.

Buzz flew over to one of the slot machines and pulled the lever. The wheels spun and clicked into place, revealing three Mewgle faces sticking their tongues out at him. The machine exploded, sending him flying. "Apparently not," he coughed as he smashed into the floor.

"And now that I have a Field Spell and two monsters…I sacrifice Zeedeath—Emissary of the Void and Storm of Light—Envoy of the Void to summon my ultimate monster…Leviathan the Devourer!" Mewgle declared, holding up his Leviathan card, which started pulsating ominously.

James gasped in horror. "What? On the first turn?"

"That's right, Jimmy-boy! Looks like you're going to be reunited with Mickey sooner than you thought!" Mewgle said with a cruel grin as he set the card on his Disk, causing Zeedeath and Storm of Light to burst into flames and vanish in a scream of pure agony, never letting go of each other as they disappeared. The mark on Mewgle's chest began glowing, and the room, no, the entire city began to shake.

Outside, the citizens looked up in horror as a giant spiky demonic heart descended from the dark clouds overhead. The Pokémon screamed and turned into balls of light which flew upward and were absorbed into the giant organ, every living creature within the city dying in seconds. The heart started beating, its pace slow at first but rapidly picking up speed, becoming enveloped in a dark purple glow and transforming into a pillar of light which smashed into the city, cracking the streets and leveling buildings as the mighty Leviathan erupted from beneath the ground, rearing its head and bellowing so loudly that almost every window within several miles shattered, and most of the skyscrapers nearby crumbled to the ground.

As the shaking subsided, Team Rocket looked around in confusion and dismay. "I-I don't understand…what just happened?" Jessie asked.

"Where's Leviathan?" James asked, noticing that Mewgle's field was empty.

"Look up," Mewgle said with an amused grin on his face.

James did. He soon wished he hadn't, because staring back at him through the glass ceiling of the convention hall was one of Leviathan's enormous yellow eyes. He screamed at the top of his lungs and soiled himself, and Leviathan screamed back, rearing back its head then shoving its snout into the ceiling, shattering it and causing broken glass to fall all over the place as it managed to fit the tip of its nose and mouth into the room, its howls the shrieking of millions of damned souls. "Oh…oh my…" Jessie whispered, nearly falling to the floor in a faint.

"It's…it's even bigger than I remembered…" Buzz whispered.

"The more souls Leviathan devours, the larger and stronger it becomes," Mewgle said gleefully. "And it just feasted on the thousands of souls living in Mahjong City. Congratulations, James, by challenging me to a Duel, you condemned everyone in this city to an eternity of torture!"

"N-no! That…that's not what I wanted!" James protested, face going pale in horror.

"We don't always get what we want," Mewgle said. "But you're about to…you wanted to be reunited with Mickey, didn't you? Well, he's right here. Leviathan, has he got anything to say to his boyfriend and teammates?"

Leviathan opened its jaws a fraction, and a spine-chilling scream was emitted from its jaws, the scream of a being suffering more pain and torment than the mortal mind could fathom, its soul constantly being ripped to shreds and forcibly shoved back together as it was eternally digested by the malefic enzymes in Leviathan's belly. It was the scream of Mickey. "Mickey!" James cried, recognizing the sound of his lover's voice. "MICKEY!"

"Sorry, I don't think he can hear you right now," Mewgle said as Leviathan closed its mouth again. "You know, what with being in so much agony that he's probably gone insane several times over. I'm not sure if he even remembers who you are, let alone who he is. But don't worry, you'll be with him soon enough…and then you'll both suffer together forever. Isn't that romantic? It's exactly like being married!"

"You…y-you are…" James whispered, trembling with equal parts rage and terror.

"A monster? Pure evil? Yes, I know, I've heard it all before," Mewgle said dismissively. "I doubt there's an original thing in your vocabulary that you could call me, Jimmy-boy. Not that you'll be needing it for much longer. Allow me to give you another taste of what you're in for…Leviathan! It's feeding time!"

Leviathan opened its mouth a fraction and inhaled, creating a great suction that pulled at the tiny, frail Pokémon on the ground below. Jessie and Buzz had to flap frantically to keep from getting sucked into the beast's jaws, and James was able to cling to the corpse of a particularly heavy Rhydon Duelist to keep from getting swallowed up by Leviathan. Clown Lee, on the other hand, was not quite so lucky. With a cry of fright, he was yanked off the floor and sent flying into Leviathan's maw. "No, my clown!" James cried as the beast's jaws slammed shut on his monster, destroying it. "What have you done?"

"On the turn it's summoned, Leviathan devours all monsters on the field and absorbs their attack points," Mewgle said. A holographic display appeared next to Leviathan with 0 ATK and infinite defense. As the Rockets watched, the ATK rose to 300.

"Infinite defense? That can't be possible, can it?" wondered a perplexed Buzz.

"Who cares? It's in attack mode now, and only has 300 points," Jessie realized. "James can beat that easily, can't he?"

"I can…" James murmured, his confidence starting to rise again. He frowned. "Assuming it doesn't have any other surprises in store."

"Oh, it does, James…in spades," Mewgle sneered. As if on cue, a number of spade cards floated down to him. He frowned. "No, not you, I meant…oh, go away." He shooed them off.

It's my turn now… James thought to himself, narrowing his eyes. Leviathan's big and scary, but…if it only has 300 points, maybe I still have a chance to win this! I just need to get the right hand…Heart of the Cards, I've never believed in you before, but if you exist, guide me! He closed his eyes, put a hand on his deck, and concentrated. Taking a deep breath, he drew in one swift motion, held the card dramatically away from him, and then flipped it over to see what it was. His eyes lit up in joy. Yes! "I summon Gemini Clown Zorn!" James said, slotting a card in and causing a rather ugly Minun in a jester costume to appear on the field. "And due to its special effect, I can summon its twin, Gemini Clown Thorn!" There was a flash of light, and an equally ugly Plusle in a jester costume appeared. "Next, I use Polymerization!" he cried, slapping the card he'd just drawn onto his Disk, causing a vortex to appear behind the clowns that sucked both of them up. "And with it, I combine Zorn and Thorn to create…" There was a burst of light, and the vortex expelled a grotesque vaguely humanoid monster with Kingler-like pincers, a pair of bladed insect arms growing from its waist, and two demonic heads resembling Zorn and Thorn's. "MultiGemini, the Demon Clown!" A holographic display popped up, indicating the gruesome monster had an ATK of 1800 and a DEF of 3000.

Jessie recoiled. "Gah! It's things like that that make me realize why some people are so terrified of clowns!"

"Like me," Buzz said. "And it's called coulrophobia, by the way."

Jessie blinked. "You're afraid of clowns?"

"Yes," said Buzz.

"Then why aren't you afraid of James?" Jessie asked.

"Miss Jessie, who could possibly be afraid of James?" Buzz asked.

Mewgle burst into cruel laughter, and James's eye twitched. "Moving on…I also summon to the field Ogog, the Mimic Master!" A strange Mr. Mime enshrouded in garishly colored garments of numerous fabrics and styles appeared next to MultiGemini. A holographic display showed it had an ATK of 0 and a DEF of 0. "And thanks to his special ability, he can copy the ATK, DEF, and special effects of any of my monsters, and I choose MultiGemini!" Ogog's display changed to show the same stats as the hideous two-headed clown next to him. "And now…I'll have them attack! Since they have higher ATK points than Leviathan, the first blow should destroy it, and the second one should almost completely deplete your life points!"

"Way to go, James!" Jessie cried.

"We knew you could do it!" Buzz lied.

Mewgle started. "Wait, what?"

"Go, MultiGemini! Attack Leviathan with Viral Smoke!" James ordered. The disgusting abomination opened its mouths and spewed twin clouds of yellow fog at Leviathan.

"Noooo! My monster! You've ruined everything!" Mewgle screamed…then burst into a grin. "Ha, just kidding."

James blinked. "Huh? What are you talking about?" The Viral Smoke struck Leviathan, causing the beast to tremble slightly…and that's it. It didn't explode or vanish or anything. It was still completely intact. James's eyes widened in alarm. "Wh-what? Why is it still here?"

"Oh, didn't I mention? Leviathan can't be destroyed by monster attack, monster effect, spell, trap, or…pretty much anything, actually," Mewgle said. "It's completely invincible." Not to mention that, even if it SHOULD somehow be defeated…I've got something even worse waiting in the wings…

"WHAT?" James shrieked.

"But that's completely unfair!" Jessie protested.

"I know, right?" Mewgle said giddily. He frowned when he noticed his life points went down from 4000 to 2500. "Hmm, doesn't protect my LP, though…oh well, no big loss."

"It might be once I hit you again," James said, recovering from the disappointment of not being able to beat Leviathan. "Ogog, attack with Viral Smoke!" Ogog opened his mouth and exhaled more yellow smog which struck Leviathan and reduced Mewgle's LP to 1000.

"Huh…not bad, James. Perhaps I underestimated you," Mewgle muttered grudgingly. "However, relish this small victory while you can, because it's the last you'll ever have!" He reached for his deck. "Because, now that it's my turn, you're-"

"Not so fast!" James interrupted. "Who said my turn was over?"

Mewgle frowned. "Huh? But all your monsters attacked. What else can you-" He gasped, looking at the two face-down cards. "Your face-downs!"

"That's right! I activate my Spell card, Act 2!" James said as one of his cards flipped up, revealing a circus show preparing to begin its next act. "Thanks to this card, I can sacrifice half of my life points to allow each of my monsters to attack again, albeit at half their usual power! His LP counter went down to 2000, and Multigemini and Ogog's ATK points fell to 900 each. "On their own that wouldn't be enough to beat you, but by putting their combined attack power together, even reduced…"

"It'll completely destroy his life points!" Buzz gasped.

"Yes! You did it, James! You've won!" Jessie cried.

"What? No! You can't!" protested a horrified Mewgle.

"Just watch me!" James shouted. "Multigemini, attack Leviathan again!"

The horrible two-headed clown opened its mouths and belched out more Viral Smoke, striking Leviathan again and causing Mewgle to grunt in pain as his LP went down to 400. "Guh…no…"

"Now, Ogog, finish things off! Avenge Mickey!" James ordered. "VIRAL SMOKE!"

The gaudily-dressed mime opened its mouth and spewed smoke at Leviathan, causing the great beast to screech in pain and Mewgle to howl and fall to his knees as his Life Points went to 0. "No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"YES! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!" Jessie screamed joyfully.

"HOORAH! MISS JESSIE, I'M SO HAPPY I COULD KISS YOU!" Buzz yelled.

"ME TOO!" Jessie said. And so they did.

James closed his eyes and lowered his head. "Mickey…it's over. It's all over. Finally, you can be free…" He paused, realizing something was wrong. "Wait a minute…" Alarmed, he looked upwards. Leviathan's snout was still poking through the ceiling. "If I won, why…why is Leviathan still here?"

"I can't believe this! How could I lose? This cannot be!" Mewgle cried. Abruptly, he grinned. "Because it's not! Just kidding!"

James's eyes widened in horror and confusion. "Wh-what? I don't understand…"

"Gyahaha! Of course you don't!" Mewgle sneered as he got back to his feet. "I neglected to mention Leviathan has another special effect. So long as it's on the hand, in my field, or in my graveyard, even if my LP hits zero, I won't lose! And since Leviathan can never be destroyed, that means as long as it's in my possession, I'm completely INVINCIBLE!"

"No! That…that can't be!" James screamed in disbelief.

"That's ridiculously broken, even for you!" said a shocked Jessie.

Mewgle laughed. "Come on, like you really expected me to play fair? Oh, and if you think that's not fair, wait'll you hear the next part! Since it's my turn now, Leviathan's other other special effect kicks in: it automatically devours all monsters currently on the field and absorbs their ATK power, too! Leviathan, it's time for your second course! Eat those clowns!"

"No! My monsters!" James shrieked as Leviathan opened its mouth and inhaled the terrified Multigemini and Ogog, swallowing them in a single gulp and causing its ATK points to skyrocket from 300 to 3900.

"And we're just getting started!" Mewgle cackled as a pair of giant dice appeared on either side of him. "Thanks to the effect of Casinotropolis, on my turn I can spend 200 LP to roll these dice! One of them will determine how many times Leviathan can attack this turn, and the other will be a multiplier which determines to what extent I can boost Leviathan's power!"

"What? Why couldn't James have done that last turn?" Jessie asked incredulously.

"Haven't you heard? The house always wins…and I own the house!" Mewgle said smugly. "Which means I'm the only one who can use that ability! In your face, losers!"

"But wait, you don't have any LP!" James protested.

"I do thanks to this," Mewgle said, slotting a card into his Disk. "Hi-Potion! Thanks to this, by sending a Spell card to my graveyard, I regain 1000 LP, giving me more than enough points to use the effect of Casinotropolis!" He fed a card to the graveyard 'mouth' on his Disk, and his LP went back up to 1000.

Buzz's eyes widened in horror. "Oh no…"

"…I…I never had a chance, did I?" James whispered, shoulders sagging in despair.

"Nope, not even the smallest bit of one!" Mewgle said cheerfully. "Now, let's see what kind of numbers I get, shall we?" He flicked his wrist. His LP lowered to 800 and the dice tumbled to the ground in front of him, knocking into each other and rolling around until they came to a stop…

With sixes on top for both of them. "Well, will you look at that! A perfect twelve!" Mewgle said as the Rockets gaped in horror. "What an incredible coincidence! Why, a person could easily be excused for thinking the dice had been loaded to give me such a ridiculously high number…but that would be preposterous, wouldn't it?" Energy crackled around the dice and blasted upwards, striking Leviathan and causing it to growl loudly enough to crack the walls as its ATK power rose to a whopping 23400.

"Isn't that a little overkill?" Jessie cried incredulously.

"That's…that's over nine-" Buzz stammered.

"Don't you dare!" Jessie snapped.

James collapsed to his knees, quivering in terror. "N-no…it can't…it can't end like this…"

"Oh, but it can, James!" Mewgle said, enjoying this way more than he should have. "And now you and your friends will all die in as ridiculously gratuitous a fashion as I can manage. Leviathan? KILL THEM!"

Leviathan cracked open its jaws. Its tongue slithered out and shot down towards James. Trembling and sobbing and pissing himself, James managed to press a button on his Duel Disk. "I-I a-activ-vate m-my Trap C-Card, Neg-Negate Attack!"

The last card on James' field flipped up and emitted a bright light. The tongue stopped in its path and retracted into Leviathan's mouth. Jessie sighed in relief. "He did it! We're saved!"

"No you're not," Mewgle said. "I still have five more attacks." Leviathan's tongue shot out again, striking James in the chest so hard that he was smashed into the ground, cratering it. His LP went down to 0 and his Duel Disk exploded, taking his arm with it. James howled in unimaginable agony.

"No! James!" Jessie screamed.

"Hit him again!" Mewgle ordered.

"What? But he's already lost! Why are you having Leviathan attack again?" Buzz cried in disbelief as Leviathan opened its mouth again.

"Because I still have four attacks left, and I'm a sick and twisted fuck, if you haven't noticed already," Mewgle said cheerfully. "Kicking people while they're down is one of my greatest joys in life!" Leviathan's tongue lashed down again, striking James so hard that every bone in his body shattered. He screamed again, blood hemhorraging from every orifice in copious amounts.

"No! Stop it!" Jessie yelled, flying forwards to help James, only to rebound off an invisible wall.

"Sorry, you can't interfere," Mewgle said, not looking sorry in the least. "Don't worry, it'll be your turn soon enough. Leviathan, again!" Leviathan's tongue hit James a third time, liquefying every organ in his body and causing his body to collapse in a mass of flesh and juices.

Jessie vomited, while Buzz grew dizzy, his nausea making it difficult to keep flying. "How…how can this be? How can someone be so evil?"

"If you think I'm bad, you should meet my old boss," Mewgle said. "Now that one was a real piece of work! Leviathan, again!" Leviathan's tongue impacted again, causing the sack of flesh to rupture and send the liquid and chunky bits that had once been James flying everywhere.

Jessie threw up again. "James…James…"

"At least his suffering is at an end," Buzz said.

"No, it's just gotten started," Mewgle said. "I haven't even killed him yet."

They stared at him in horror and disbelief. "You mean…James is still alive?" Jessie screeched.

"But…but how…you just…there's barely anything left of him! How can he possibly still be alive?" Buzz stammered.

"It's amazing the sorts of things a person can live through, especially when magic is involved," Mewgle said. "Yep, James is still alive, and feeling every bit of this. It's just as horrible as you'd imagine, and maybe even a little worse! But now it's time to finish this. Leviathan, no more holding back! Kill James, kill those two…heck, destroy the entire city while you're at it! Might as well, since there's nothing left for us here." Leviathan growled and obligingly opened its jaws wider, destroying what was left of the roof and causing most of the convention center to crumble around the Rockets as the beast started gathering power in its mouth.

"Miss Jessie," Buzz said, holding the Dustox. "If this is truly it, after everything we've been through, I just want you to know that…I love you."

"I know, Buzz, I know," Jessie weeped. "It's only now I realize you were there for me all along, that I should have paid more attention to you rather than constantly moping after James. You would have made a perfect boyfriend, and I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner."

Buzz blinked. "Boyfriend? Miss Jessie, I'm a girl."

There was a long, awkward pause. "What," Jessie said finally.

"I'm a girl. Didn't you know?" Buzz asked. "I thought it was obvious."

"You…you're…" Jessie started laughing hysterically. "You know, that just figures, doesn't it? Of course you'd be a girl. Of course you are. Like I'd ever get anything else!" Her laughs turned into sobs.

"There, there, Miss Jessie," Buzz said, wrapping his—her wings around Jessie. "I'll be with you, no matter what happens."

"No, you'll both be relegated to different parts of Leviathan's bowels," Mewgle said. "And speaking of which…Leviathan, it's time! Destroy EVERYTHING!"

With a howl, Leviathan unleashed its attack, sickly green flames erupting from its jaws…

And suddenly, everything froze. The flames stopped just before they could leave the beast's mouth. Mewgle stood like a statue, a look of manic and terrible joy on his face. Jessie and Buzz were so still it was like they had become fused together. And James…well, he probably couldn't have moved anyway in his current condtion, but if he hadn't been reduced to a gross smear, he would have been motionless as well.

A green vortex opened up, and Team Quantum emerged on the scene. "Looks like you brought us here in the nick of time, Paradox," Crono commented.

The Celebi smirked. "Well, of course. I am a time traveler, after all."

"There they are," Aeon said, pointing to the nearby Jessie and Buzz. "Let's get them out of here and leave before Mewgle notices our interference."

"Remind me why we can only save these two but not James, or the rest of the city?" Crono asked as they walked over to the two insects.

"James sealed his fate when he challenged Mewgle to a Shadow Duel. By the rules of the game, his soul was forfeit, and there was no way for us to circumvent that," Paradox said. "We couldn't do anything to help the rest of the city because Mewgle would have noticed if several thousand Pokémon were time-shifted away, would have become aware of our presence, and taken measures that might keep us from doing our jobs properly later."

"But these two are so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things he won't notice that we took them away," Aeon said, reaching into his mouth and pulling out two dim balls of light. "Especially once we feed these two soul 'echoes' from a destroyed timeline to Leviathan in Jessie and Buzz's place. It'll never tell the difference."

"And you couldn't have just gotten that many echoes for the rest of the city?" Crono asked.

"Not without him noticing something was up when he failed to summon Leviathan due to sacrificing fake souls rather than the real thing," Paradox said. "Don't worry, they'll be fine…eventually."

"Yeah, I'll bet that's such a relief to them now…" Crono muttered. He pointed to the two Bugs. "So, what do we do with these two?"

"If we took Buzz back to Rocket headquarters, she would cause no disruptions to either Giovanni's or our own carefully laid plans," Paradox said, eyes going distant as she stared into the future. "Jessie, on the other hand…there is a significant chance of her screwing up everything due to her grief and utter stupidity."

"Therefore, she must be removed from the equation," Aeon said.

"Well, since we're most certainly not leaving her here to be eaten and tortured, I'm guessing that means we're sending her on a little journey through time?" Crono asked.

Paradox nodded. "To the future, at a point when she will no longer be a danger."

"If that's the case, we should send Buzz with her," Crono argued. "To separate her from the Pokémon she loves would be needlessly cruel, and while we've done a number of things I'm not particularly happy with but am aware were necessary to fulfill our mission, doing something like that is where I draw the line."

Paradox frowned in thought. "Hmm…I don't foresee any hazardous consequences from sending both of them into the future. Aeon?"

"Giovanni wanted us to try and recover as many as we could alive," Aeon said. "However, he never said when we had to return them to him. I see no harm in it."

"Very well, we'll send them both into the future, to deal with later," Paradox decided. She gestured, and a green vortex appeared, swallowing up Jessie and Buzz before consuming itself.

Aeon released the two soul facsimiles, which drifted over to where Jessie and Buzz had been and expanded, taking on the form of transparent replicas of the Dustox and Yanmega. "There. That should do it," Aeon said.

"And with that, our work here is done," Paradox said, opening another time portal. "Let's head back…Crono? Is something wrong?"

The Grovyle, who had been looking sadly at the stain that was a still-living James, started. "Hmm? Yeah, a little…"

She flew over and gently put a hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter?"

"I just wish we could do more than this," Crono complained. "We could kill Mewgle right now and save everyone a lot of trouble later. We could make it so that he'd never escaped from the Abyss at all, or possibly prevent the current series of events from ever happening in the first place. Instead, we have to resort to underhanded and somewhat unsavory tricks to make everything just right to ensure that the future we originate from will come into being…regardless of how many lives we have to destroy or condemn through our own inaction in the process. What's the point of having absolute control over time if you can't use it to right all wrongs and stop bad things from happening?"

"Sometimes, a bad thing is necessary for a better event to happen later," Aeon said. "It is regrettable, but that is the way of things."

"And we can't change it?" Crono asked.

"We are the facilitators of time. We are a part of the system, and can only maintain it, no more, and no less," Paradox said. "It is up to those who live within time to create a better future."

"Yeah, one we're manipulating them into creating," Crono grumbled.

"I'm no more fond of what we're doing than you are, but you know as well as I do that it's the only way," Paradox said sadly. "They'll probably never forgive us for using them, but it won't matter, because in the end, at least we'll still know we did the right thing."

"…I guess," the Grovyle said reluctantly.

She kissed him on the cheek and flitted back towards the time portal. "Now come on. Let's go report to the Boss and get this over with so we can move on to the next phase…though there should be plenty of time for us to 'relax' before that." She winked flirtatiously and vanished.

Crono blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, and then paused, noticing Aeon had been staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. The Dusknoir looked away as Crono glanced at him, but the Grovyle knew his teammate well enough to guess what he was thinking. "Do you miss it then, Aeon?"

"Miss what?" Aeon asked.

"Being able to love," Crono said.

"…More than you can imagine." The Dusknoir floated into the portal and disappeared.

Crono sighed and went to follow him. On the threshold of the vortex, he paused and looked back at James. "Sorry," he said unhappily. "But it's for the greater good…not that I suppose that means a lot to you, does it?"

He walked into the portal and disappeared. The vortex closed, time restarted, and Leviathan's attack hit the ground. The explosion was so great that it vaporized the rest of Mahjong City and rose into the sky as a towering ugly grayish-green mushroom cloud, tearing a huge chunk out of the landscape and leaving a gaping crater where once an urban metropolis had thrived. Laughing giddily, Mewgle and Leviathan flew out of the smoke and the fire, the former riding on the latter's head. "Gwahahahaha! That was even more fun than I'd expected!" Mewgle cackled, slapping the head of his partner in glee. "That guy had more fight in him than I thought he would…not that it mattered in the end, right pal?" Leviathan grunted in assent. Mewgle frowned. "Still…there was something a little odd about the whole thing…"

Leviathan ran its tongue between its teeth, trying to catch the last morsels of soul. For some reason, the last two it had eaten, Jessie's and Buzz's, didn't fill it up as much as it had expected. It was like there had been almost nothing to the two Bugs. It supposed the two of them were too weak and insignificant to merit a larger meal, but still, he'd expected more for some reason… As it pondered this, Mewgle snapped his fingers, coming to a realization of his own. "Oh yeah, that's right! There were a bunch of other losers with them before, weren't there? Those other Rockets, and those…really weird guys, Sam and Max or something." He narrowed his eyes. "I'm gonna have to make them pay for humiliating me…maybe even before I find Leo. Think they'd appreciate a round two?" He scratched his chin. "I wonder why they weren't here…"

Leviathan searched the memories of James, its latest meal, and projected what it found into Mewgle's mind using their mystic bond. Mewgle frowned when he received the information. "They split up, huh? Where's that shaman going? To find someone capable of stopping me? Is he looking for Leo, or…" He stiffened, eyes widening in horror as a possibility came to mind. "No. He wouldn't! Not…not her!" Frantic, he slapped the top of Leviathan's head and pointed into the distance. "Change of plans, buddy! Leo and Sam and Max have to wait for later…right now, we have to find those idiots before they release an old…friend of mine who could make things very difficult for us in the future!"

Leviathan nodded and flew away from the smoldering ruins of Mahjong City, following Mewgle's heading. It hoped that there would be someone to eat on the way there. It was already feeling hungry again…

Meanwhile, in the distant north…

"Well, that was fun," Entei said as he licked some blood off his lips.

"Yeah, it felt good to really show our stuff," Raikou agreed as he gnawed on a Mamoswine bone.

"It has been far too long…ahhhh, the joys of Hyper Mode…Doctor, do you suppose we will have a chance to use it again soon?" Suicune asked hopefully as they walked down the hallway leading into the main sanctuary of the ancient temple, leaving the one-sided bloodbath that had been their battle against the Snowtusk clan behind. A freshly cloned Chobin toddled alongside them, occasionally falling back to taunt and make faces at the depressed and silent golem trio.

Tarantulas shrugged his many legs. "Ve shall know soon enough, fraulein…and speaking of vhich, here ve are!"

The Nihilators found themselves in an immense chamber with a vaulted roof that stretched hundreds of meters over their heads, supported by massive pillars of rock. Magnificent sculptures of ice lined the walls, while the metal floor was covered in strange and elaborate carvings. In the center of the room was a large dais of red brick with an ornate triangular carving set in the floor around a mound of rock with a beautiful blue sphere imbedded in it. Monoliths of rock, ice, and steel stood at the three corners of the triangle. "Hmm, not bad," Entei commented.

"ECHO! ECHO! ECHO! ECHO!" Chobin shouted, causing everyone else to wince as his voice reverberated throughout the grand hall.

"Vas zat necessary?" Tarantulas asked as he recalibrated his auditory sensors.

"Yes," Chobin said.

"So, where's Regigigas?" Raikou asked, glancing around.

"In ze middle of zat triangle," Tarantulas said, pointing to the big blue jewel.

"…Huh. I seem to remember him being bigger," Raikou commented.

"He'll be all zat and more once ve break his seal! Each of you, destroy one of zose zree pillars," Tarantulas ordered.

The three beasts climbed onto the dais and split up, each of them standing before one of the monoliths. They inhaled deeply, powering up, and then unleashed their attacks; Entei melting the metal monolith with Overheat, Raikou shattering the ice monolith with Zap Cannon, and Suicune blasting the rock monolith with Hydro Pump. As the three pillars crumbled, the big jewel started glowing. "All clear, Doc!" Entei reported.

The cyborg giggled. "Excellent, excellent!" He gestured to his henchmons. "You, set up ze field projectors! You, prepare ze big screen! And you, get ze golems in place! Ve vill need to use zem as keys once again to free Regigigas…and as a backup in case my initial plan does not vork."

As the beasts jumped down from the dais, several Nihilators came up behind them and formed a perimeter around the triangle, placing generators connected by cables along the edges of the big triangle. As they stepped back, another group of Nihilators ascended onto the dais, pushing the hover-platforms carrying Regirock, Regice, and Registeel ahead of them. They moved the platforms onto the spots where the monoliths of their corresponding elements had been and deactivated the repulsors, lowering the trio into place. As the platforms touched the ground, the carving lit up, and the jewel glowed even more brightly.

"It am working, it am working!" Chobin squealed, jumping up and down happily.

"Zat it is!" Tarantulas grinned at the silent golems. "Vell, aren't you going to beg me not to do zis, warn me of ze forces I am tinkering viz and how I vill doom us all by doing zis foolish act?"

"No," Regirock said.

"You have made your choice. We can do nothing to stop it," Regice said sadly.

"Other than bear witness to the consequences," Registeel said ominously. "Remember, though: whatever shall occur in the next few minutes, you have brought upon yourself."

"Mmhmm, yeah, zat's nice," Tarantulas said, not paying attention.

"So, what now?" Suicune asked.

"Now zat ze keys are all in place, ve must break ze final seal…everyone, attack zat jewel! Hit it viz everyzing you've got!" Tarantulas commanded, his mechanical eye powering up and firing a laser at the blue gem. The three beasts and the rest of the Nihilators followed suit, firing their strongest attacks at the jewel and causing its glow to become brighter and brighter as it soaked up the energy. The carvings on the ground throbbed, and the temple shook, and suddenly a triangular pillar of red light rose from the dais. Startled, everyone ceased their attacks.

"Uh, is that supposed to happen?" Entei asked in surprise.

"Yes," Tarantulas said. "Quickly, activate ze field generators, and get ze screen ready!" His minions scurried about as they complied, switching on the devices they had planted around the triangle and causing a crackling force field to shimmer to life around it. Others powered up the enormous monitor they had hurriedly assembled, causing its giant screen to light up. As they did this, a massive shadow began to take form in the red light. The beasts tensed in anticipation, Tarantulas grinned gleefully, the beasts stared resignedly forward, and Chobin picked his nose.

At last, the light died down, revealing a new figure that had not been in the triangle moments ago. It had a golem-like shape and was primarily white in coloration, possessing long arms with three fairly human-like white fingers and short legs. It had large yellow bands on its shoulders and wrists, with a sloping section on its chest that appeared to be its head that was also yellow, with seven dot-like eyes arranged in a Braille pattern. Its body was covered in black stripes, and it had moss growing on its back and feet. Six gemstones were placed in two rows on either side of its head, two red, two blue, and two silver. Twelve feet tall, it loomed over all other Pokémon in the room. "I Have Awakened," it intoned in a deep, flat voice, its eyes flashing in strange patterns in tune with its speech.

"At last…Regigigas, ze king of ze giants, is in my grasp…now I shall possess ze Ultimate Shadow Pokémon!" Tarantulas howled triumphantly.

"Chobin was thinking that he would be muchly tallier," Chobin complained.

"He's bigger than all of us," Entei said.

"Yes, but not really big! There are being lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of Pokémon being muchly tallier and way bigger in size and height than this one are being," Chobin pointed out. "Like Wailord. And Steelix. And Little Chobin."

"He gets bigger," Suicune explained. "His Slow Start special ability not only temporarily reduces his speed and power when he first wakes up, it also limits his size, too."

"At his full height, he is truly worthy of being called the king of the giants," Raikou agreed.

"Regirock. Regice. Registeel," Regigigas said, acknowledging the trio surrounding him.

"Creator…it has been a long time," Regirock said reverently.

"We are sorry you had to be awakened," Regice apologized. "We tried to warn them, but-"

"They would not listen," Registeel said, shaking his head. "And now they must pay the price."

Regigigas nodded. "Indeed." He looked at Tarantulas. "Why Have You Awakened Me? I Did Not Wish To Be Awakened. Only In Sleep Do I Find Peace."

"Regigigas, legendary king of ze giants and terror of ze ancient vorld!" Tarantulas cried, executing a many-legged bow. "I am Dr. Tomaru Tarantulas, ze greatest scientific mind in history! On behalf of mein Fuhrer, Oblivion's Shadow, I velcome you into ze Nihilator organization, a group dedicated to destroying ze vorld, somezing zat should be right up your alley, ja? Join us, and togezzer ve shall bring zis planet to ruin…and have revenge on zose who unfairly imprisoned you so long ago! You vill be granted power beyond your wildest imaginings, and a chance to strike back at ze gods who turned on you ages ago! Vat do you say?"

Regigigas's eyes flashed. "No."

Tarantulas frowned, but did not look entirely surprised. "Ah, so you vould razzer destroy everyzing, vizout regard to friend or foe? Unfortunate, but not unexpected. However, ve cannot allow you to do zat, because ve have some very specific targets ve vish to turn you against-"

"No. You Do Not Understand," Regigigas interrupted. "I Do Not Seek Vengeance. I Do Not Wish To Destroy Anyone. All I Want To Do Is Sleep."

Tarantulas stared at him in confusion. "I…I'm sorry? I'm afraid you've lost me."

"Long Ago, The Ruler Of Evil Deceived Me And Turned Me Against Those I Was Sworn To Protect," Regigigas boomed. "My Friends Made Me See The Truth Of My Actions, But Not Until I Had Razed Countless Worlds And The Blood Of Billions Was On My Hands. Although Everyone Forgave Me, My Memories Of My Sins, Indelible Due To My Nature As A Golem, Haunted Me Endlessly. Out Of Guilt, I Sealed Myself Away, So That I Could Harm No One Else, And So That I Could Sleep Without Dreams, My Tormented Memories At Peace. I May Only Be Awakened In A Time Of Truly Great Need, And Even Then, I Will Return To Sleep Later, Because Whenever I Am Truly Needed, Even More Blood Always Finds Its Way Onto My Hands." He looked at his immaculate white fingers sadly. "No Matter How Many Times I Clean Myself, It Always Feels Like It's Still There."

"But…but zat can't be!" Tarantulas protested. "Ze legends say you vere sealed avay to protect ze people, because zey vere afraid of you!"

"They Were," Regigigas said. "And With Good Reason, Too. I Am Afraid Of Myself As Well, And What I Am Capable Of."

"The scar the Ruler of Evil left on our creator's psyche has resisted all attempts to heal it," Regirock said. "Not just the torture of his memories, but the terrible wrath that being instilled in him…a wrath which would send him into a great and mindless rage once triggered, destroying anything that stood in his way aside from us, sometimes even those he was trying to help."

"Why else do you suppose his temple is out here in the middle of nowhere, where there's little chance of him harming anyone should he be awakened and his rage ignited?" Regice said.

"We warned you not to release him because we feared that his fury at all the evils you Nihilators have committed would be so terrible he would destroy not just you, but everything and everyone for miles around," Registeel said.

"…And you didn't mention zis sooner vhy?" Tarantulas shouted.

"Because learning that he possessed such power and unstoppable rage would only make you covet him more, regardless of the danger he posed," Regirock said.

"Oh," Tarantulas said. "Hmm. Zat's true. All right, but vhy didn't you tell me zis, zen?" he demanded of the three beasts.

They blinked at him in surprise. "Huh? Us?" Entei cried in surprise.

"How were we supposed to know?" Raikou demanded.

"You're all legendary Pokémon! I figured you'd know zis sort of zing about each ozzer!" Tarantulas shouted.

"Well, usually, but…it's not like we ever really hung out much with the golems, what with Regigigas always sleeping and the other three being less than sociable," Suicune said.

"Hey, we can be perfectly sociable when we want to!" Regice said. "We just…don't want to very often…"

"So all this is as much of a surprise to us as it is to you," Entei said.

"Ha! Chobin is not being the leastest bit surprised at this predictable and unsurprising turn of events that is predictable and unsurprising!" Chobin boasted.

"Really?" Raikou asked.

"No," Chobin confessed.

"As I Slept, I Was One With The Pulse Of The Earth. The Holy Mother's Love Filled Me, Granting Me Bliss. But With Her Love, I Also Felt Her Pain," Regigigas intoned. "As You Tortured And Murdered Her Children, As You Twisted And Corrupted Her Protectors, As You Raped And Pillaged The Earth. I Know What You Have Done. I Know What You Intend To Do. I Did Not Wish To Be Awakened, But Now That I Am Revived, It Is My Duty To Cleanse The World Of Your Taint…No Matter How Much Damage I May Cause In The Process."

"Uh, that doesn't sound good…" Suicune murmured uneasily.

"Creator, are you certain? You know how you get when you fight," Registeel said in concern.

"As Do I. I Will Try To Control Myself. If I Get Out Of Hand, Do Your Best To Calm Me," Regigigas told them.

"Creator, when you get out of hand, so do we," Regice protested. "We lose our minds, and become vessels of your fury!"

"Then Try Not To Do That," Regigigas said. They sweatdropped. "Entei. Suicune. Raikou. If You Depart Now, You Will Be Stayed My Wrath. You Have Committed Much Evil, But It Was Not Of Your Volition."

"What're you talking about? We haven't done anything we haven't wanted to!" Entei said.

"Incorrect. Your Minds Have Been Warped By Shadow, And By The Ice Witch Bellum's-" Regigigas started.

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?" Tarantulas interrupted somewhat frantically. "If you're going to avenge ze planet or vhatever, you're going to have to get out of zere first, and let me tell you, zat's not happening! Zat energy field has been calibrated for your strengzh, so it's impossible for you to-" Regigigas drew back a fist and punched the barrier so hard that the whole room shook and the generators started sparking, the field flickering briefly. "Ach du lieber!"

"Doctor, he's overloading the projectors!" one of the Nihilators cried as Regigigas punched the energy field again, damaging it further.

"His Slow Start must be vearing off…soon he'll be back at full power, and zen ve'll be unable to stop him!" the horrified Tarantulas realized.

"We can take him, Doc!" Raikou said confidently.

"But…what was that he was saying about our minds warped by Bellum? What did he mean?" asked a confused Suicune.

"Nozzing. He meant nozzing! He's just trying to make you doubt yourselves. You chose to become Shadow Pokémon, remember? Viz ze power you have now, vhy vould you possibly vant to go back?" Tarantulas said quickly.

"That's…true," Entei said slowly. "But-"

"But nozzing! In any event, I'm not sure you can beat him once he reaches full power," Tarantulas said.

"Sure we can, just give us another dose of Shadow and we'll destroy him in Hyper Mode," Raikou said.

Tarantulas shook his head as Regigigas punched the barrier again, the ripples growing larger and more chaotic. "Nein, nein, zat von't vork, your bodies are still recovering from ze last infusion. It could cause permanent damage to your physiologies if you triggered Hyper Mode again so soon after ze last time."

"Then how are we supposed to fight him?" Suicune demanded.

"What about that…that whozits Oblivion's Shadow gave us?" Entei asked, glancing at the big monitor. "You know that thing that can make Pokémon into Shadows lickety-split…um…some kinda…equation?"

"Ick, Chobin is hating math with all its numbers and formulas and many-sided objects Chobin is not being able to molest," Chobin said in disgust.

"Ze Anti-Life Equation? I vould not recommend it…" Tarantulas said, glancing anxiously at Regigigas, who seemed to be moving faster and hitting harder by the second. "If he is truly as dangerous as zey say he is when he gets angry regularly…how much vorse vill he be as a Shadow Pokémon? Ve vant to make him a veapon, but not one zat vill kill us!"

"Then what do we do?" Raikou asked a little desperately as the temple shook more and more with each blow Regigigas landed on the barrier separating him from them.

Tarantulas grinned. "Vhile zis series of events is unfortunate, it vas by no means unexpected. Even zis eventuality I have prepared for…behold, Plan B!' Hatches opened up all over his body and his robot spiders streamed out in the hundreds, swarming across the ground and moving en masse towards the dais the golems were standing on like a sea of metal bodies and limbs. The Nihilators, knowing all too well how deadly Tarantulas' drones were, quickly got out of the way as the spiders scurried past, not wanting to be devoured and sliced to pieces by the machines' indiscriminate incisors. "Quit lollygagging and prepare ze cannons!" Tarantulas snapped at the startled Nihilators, causing them to jump to attention. "Ve're only going to get one shot at zis, so let's do it right, ja?"

"Hmm? What are you…no…no! Get them off! GET THEM OFF!" Regirock shrieked in horror as the spiders crawled onto the dais and climbed onto his body, swiftly covering him beneath their wriggling mass.

"Aaaaaahhh! Aaaaaahhh! Aaaaaahhh! Get off! Getoffgetoffgetoff!" Regice screamed, thrashing about helplessly as the spiders engulfed her.

"No! Stop! What…what are you doing? Aaaaauuughhh!" Registeel howled as the spiders enveloped him. "Nooooo!"

"O…kay, that's kind of creepy," Entei said with a shudder.

Suicune shivered and looked away, her skin crawling. "I have never been fond of spiders…"

"Hey, cover me too! Chobin is not wanting the stupid golems to get all the fun!" Chobin shouted, running up to the dais and throwing himself into the center of the roiling swarm of spiders. They tore him apart in seconds. He died with a smile on his face. Suicune turned green, and a couple of the Nihilators threw up. Tarantulas sighed and shook his head wearily. "Vell, guess I need to roll out Chobin v. 77.0…good zing ve zhought to bring so many backups viz us!"

Regigigas hesitated, eyes flickering in alarm. "My Friends? What…What Is Happening?"

"That's, uh, something I'd like to know too," Raikou said with a grimace as the golems continued to scream and flail about as best they could due to their restraints. "Doc?"

"Just anozzer moment…" Tarantulas murmured as the Nihilators finished assembling a trio of large high-tech cannons and rolled them into place on the dais just beyond the edge of the spider horde, their barrels pointed at the wailing golems. "Okiedokie…and…now!" He transmitted a signal to his servitors.

The spiders froze in place, their eyes flashing a bright red. And then, all at once, they exploded. The blast was tremendous, shaking the whole temple and causing several of the clumsier Nihilators to lose their footing and fall over as debris fell from the ceiling and Regirock, Regice, and Registeel's screams were abruptly cut off. "No! My Friends! My Friends!" Regigigas cried in horror, pressing himself against the barrier and trying to see what was going on outside his temporary prison. The smoke rising from the conflagration swirled, dissipated, and revealed…

Three piles of rubble, one at each point of the triangle, one of stone, one of ice, and one of metal. A few of the chunks of debris had bits of Braille markings on them, all of them black and devoid of life. Regigigas stared at the remains of the golems incredulously, trembling in disbelief and despair. "No…My…My Friends…You…You…" Shaking, he curled his hands into fists. The jewels on either side of his head started flashing ominously, and his eyes turned a brilliant red. "You…What…WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOONE?" Regigigas roared in rage and grief, a wave of power blasting off from his body and shattering some of the pillars, causing huge portions of the roof to cave in. The temple started shaking harder and harder, as enormous cracks zigzagged across the floor and tore open fissures that Nihilators who weren't fleet of foot enough fell into, tumbling screaming to their deaths.

"Whoa!" Raikou cried as he dashed all over the place to avoid falling rubble.

"Uh, Doc, not to question you or anything, but…why the Abyss did you do that?" Entei shouted.

"Now he is going to kill us all!" Suicune agreed in alarm as a blazing red aura engulfed the enraged Regigigas, and the giant slowly began to grow right before their eyes, the projectors sparking and smoking as they worked overtime to try and contain him.

"Not just yet he von't…activate ze cannons! Suck up zose golem parts!" Tarantulas commanded. Shaken and frightened, the Nihilators managed to regain some of their discipline and turned the devices they'd wheeled into place on, lowering the barrels so they pointed at the remains of Regirock, Regice, and Registeel. With the whirring of powerful turbine engines, the chunks of rock, ice, and metal were sucked into the devices, throwing up a din as they bounced into each other and the sides of the machines as they were ground down and mixed with another substance that had been placed in the cannons ahead of time. Steam began to rise from the machines as they shook and heated up, a powerful and mysterious process taking place inside their innards.

Smoke rose from the field projectors as they shook and heated up too, but less because they were doing anything and more because Regigigas's raw power was causing them to break down. One by one, they started exploding, and with each failed generator, the force field grew weaker and weaker, and Regigigas grew bigger and bigger, already more than thirty feet tall! "Doc? When's this Plan B of yours supposed to kick in?" Raikou asked anxiously.

"Right…about…NOW!" Tarantulas shouted as the cannons stopped their vibrating and green lights flashed on their sides. At that exact same second, the last field projector self-destructed, causing the force field to collapse and leaving them completely undefenseless from the beyond pissed Regigigas. The giant lifted one foot, preparing to take his first step…

When Tarantulas shouted, "FIRE!" and the Nihilators pointed the cannons at Regigigas and did just that. Lengths of chain were fired from the barrels of device, whirling through the air and wrapping themselves around Regigigas's wrists and waist. The one on his right wrist had links made of rock and green crystal, the one on his left wrist had links of metal and green crystal, and the one on his waist had links of ice and green crystal. The chains started glowing, and energy washed out from them and across Regigigas's body, causing him to cry out in pain and stumble back, accidentally stepping on some of the Nihilators surrounding him in the process and crushing them to a bloody paste. Moaning in agony, he fell to his knees (crushing more Nihilators), and put his hands on the ground for support as he gasped and shook, the aura of red rage dissipating. As the chains continued glowing and pumping energy into him, he slowly began shrinking, returning back to his original size. "Aha! Success, just like I calculated!" Tarantulas Murkrowed triumphantly.

"Whoa…Doc…what the heck did you just do?" asked an amazed Entei.

"You stopped him right in his tracks!" Suicune agreed.

"But how?" Raikou asked.

"Elementary, my dear beasts…have you ever heard of sympazetic magic?" Tarantulas asked.

"Um…that means you can influence something due to its relationship to another thing, right?" Entei guessed.

Tarantulas nodded. "Somezing like zat, yes. Allow me to explain: do you see zose chains vhich I used to bind him? Zey are made from ze remains of his golem friends, viz a bit of life crystal from ze Tree of Beginning zrown in to give zem extra power."

"That explains the material you're made of…and why you destroyed then sucked up their remnants," Suicune murmured.

"But what's that got to do with anything? Those chains don't look too tough. He could probably break them in a second," said a puzzled Raikou.

Tarantulas chuckled cruelly. "Ah, and normally he could…but since zese chains are made from ze remnants of his friends, his creations, he cannot. His connection to zem vas so strong zat he could not harm zem in life…and so he cannot harm zem in deaz, eizer. His own friendship and soft heart renders him incapable of destroying vat is left of zem…and as such, so long as he is vearing zem, he cannot lift a finger against us! He is completely under our control!"

"That's…wow. That's really clever," said an impressed Entei.

"I see…it's symbolic. To shatter his chains would be synonymous to shattering his friendship…he is bound by his own caring heart." Suicune sneered. "How pathetic."

"Doctor…You…You Will…Pay For This…" Regigigas panted.

Tarantulas yawned. "Yeah, I don't zink so. Stand up, Regigigas." Regigigas stayed motionless. Tarantulas frowned. "I said…STAND UP!" Regigigas gasped as more energy poured out from his chains, and he found himself standing up against his will. Tarantulas grinned. "Good. Now…take one step forward." Regigigas unwillingly obeyed, his footsteps shaking the ground. "Take one step back." Regigigas complied, returning to his starting position.

"Hop in a circle while standing on one foot!" Raikou suggested gleefully. Nothing happened. He frowned. "Hey, what gives?"

"Ze chains are keyed only to vork for ze highest-ranking Nihilators; vhich includes me, Frau Bellum, Herr Shadow, and a few of our military commanders," Tarantulas said. "Zey vill not vork for you."

Raikou sulked. "Aw, mon…"

"Then perhaps you could ask him to finish telling us whatever he was saying before about Bellum?" Suicune asked.

"I Would Be Happy To-" Regigigas started.

"Quiet!" Tarantulas shouted, and the giant reluctantly ceased speaking. "Vhy vould you vant to hear zat? It's nozing more zan a filzy lie."

"Yes, but I'm a bit curious as to what exactly this lie was," Entei said.

Raikou nodded. "And what exactly he seems to think Bellum did to us."

"Nozing. She did nozing," Tarantulas said quickly.

"We know that, but we want to hear why he thinks-" Suicune started.

"You vill hear nozing, and zat is final!" Tarantulas snapped. When they looked at him in surprise, he calmed himself and said, "Look, it is nozing you need to trouble yourself viz. He vas only trying to plant doubts in your mind regarding your purpose and place in our organization."

"Well, it's working…" Entei murmured.

Tarantulas sighed. "Look, it's really nozing to vorry about, okay? I mean, come on, who are you going to believe…ze guy who gave you your powers, or ze guy who was going to tear us all apart just a minute ago?"

"Well, I guess-" Raikou started.

"Exactly! I'm glad zat's settled," Tarantulas interrupted, ignoring the uncertain frowns on their faces. He turned back to Regigigas. "Now…let's see just vhat sort of power ve have under our control now, shall ve? Regigigas, use Hyper Beam!"

Regigigas lifted an arm, golden energy coalescing between his fingers. He fired that energy as a ridiculous powerful beam that smashed through the wall, drilling through the temple foundations and out into the open glacier, where it streaked through the air and smashed into a mountain, destroying a full third of it in a terrible explosion.

The Nihilators all stared at the smoking peak through the hole Regigigas had made in the wall, jaws dropped in awe. "Damn," Entei said, impressed.

"What power…" whispered an amazed Suicune.

"Do it again! Do it again!" Raikou chanted.

"As tempting as it is, I vould razzer not," Tarantulas said reluctantly. "I vouldn't vant to bring ze temple down on us, after all. I zink ve have seen enough, however…Regigigas is every bit as powerful as I had hoped, and viz his awesome might, ze Berry Kingdom shall crumble before us! Nozzing vill stand in our vay!"

"Doctor," Regigigas said. "Do Not Think You Have Won. You May Control My Body…But My Mind Is Still My Own."

"Yes, vell, ve'll see how long that lasts once I turn you into a Shadow Pokémon," Tarantulas said dismissively. "All right, let's pack up and move out! Hoho, von't Herr Shadow be pleased vhen he sees vhat I've brought him? Considering how low Bellum's fallen in his esteem lately due to her recent colossal screwups, I'll be back in his good graces faster zan her for sure viz zis prize!"

"Yeah…totally…" Entei murmured, lost in thought as the Nihilators started collecting their gear and preparing to move out.

"Glad we could help, Doc…" Raikou said, equally lost in thought.

"Hmm…" Suicune frowned, staring at Regigigas as the Doctor ordered him off the dais and got him to work smashing a hole in the wall large enough for him to fit through. Despite Tarantulas's reassurances, she was not completely convinced that the matter Regigigas had been alluding to was over and done with. Oh, she had no doubt that she and her brethren had joined the Nihilators willingly and allowed themselves to become Shadow Pokémon, but…

If it had only been Regigigas who had said something, she would have dismissed it as a lie, as the Doctor said it was. But Chobin had been starting to mention something similar earlier, and Tarantulas had been rather insistent on dismissing that as well. Was he hiding something? She glanced at her comrades, who nodded quietly, showing they were of one mind: something was being kept from them, and they were going to find out what it was, no matter what the cost.

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

Gardevoir wasn't sure what she had expected to find on the other side of the door in her subconscious, but it certainly wasn't a tea table. It was a completely ordinary table with a completely ordinary teapot, completely ordinary teacups and cozies, completely ordinary seats and knapkins and plates, and very completely ordinary biscuits, which meant of course that the whole thing was extremely not ordinary due to the fact that it was sitting in the middle of a vast, empty space much like the one she had just left. In addition, the only other figure in this place other than herself and her figments was…difficult to make out. When she looked at it, all she saw was a blur, and her head hurt as she struggled and failed to process it. "Well, this was unexpected," the vampire muttered, echoing her thoughts, which was unsurprising since their thoughts were exactly the same.

"Ooh, tea! How lovely!" the angel said.

"All right, buddy, we want some answers! Who are you, and why did you want us here?" the demon demanded.

"I…I'm sorry?" the blurry figure asked, sounding surprised.

"Don't play games with us! We found a door in our subconscious that led to this place, which means you must have wanted us here for some reason! Start talking! What's going on?" the demon asked.

"I…I have no idea what you're talking about," the blur said, sounding upset. "Who are you? How did you get here?" It paused. "And…where is here?"

The demon snorted. "Oh, nice try, but we aren't buying-"

"My name is Gardevoir," Gardevoir interrupted, deciding a different approach was necessary. "These three are figments of my imagination resembling aspects of my personality."

"Oh," the blur said. "You are all very pretty."

The four blushed. "Well, at least he's charming," the angel giggled.

"Hmmph, he's just trying to sweet-talk us," the demon said, trying not to act flattered.

"We were just talking in the subconscious area of our mind when this door here appeared," the vampire said, gesturing to the portal they had entered through. "Curious, we opened it and found ourselves here."

"I see," the blur murmured. "But…if you came from inside your mind, then that means this must be the inside of someone else's mind…but whose? My own?"

"That would make sense, because otherwise there's no other way you could exist in a place like this," the angel said.

The demon nodded. "To be here, you either must be a figment of this mind's imagination or some part of himself. Or herserlf. Er, which gender are you?"

"I…do not know," the blur said, sounding surprised. "I don't know…anything, actually. Who I am, how I got here…how long I've been here…"

Gardevoir sighed. "Oh dear…he's amnesiac…"

"Which is odd, since he's in his own mind, so shouldn't have any memory problems…" the vampire murmured with a frown.

"What about the tea?" the angel asked.

"What about it?" asked the confused blur.

"Where did it come from?" the angel asked.

"Oh. Um…I think it's always been here," the blur said. 'Though I don't really know how long 'always' is since…I can't really remember anything beyond you four walking through that door. This is…troubling. How did this happen to me? How can I not know who I am?"

"It happens more often than you'd think," the demon said sardonically. "It's almost a cliché by now, really."

"Almost?" the vampire asked.

"So you don't know who you are or where the door letting us in here came from…" Gardevoir murmured. "Hmm…perhaps your mind was damaged somehow and a part of you subconsciously reached out to someone for help, guiding us here?"

"I suppose it's as likely as anything else," the blur said. "But you probably would know better than I, since I don't have any recollection of doing that. If I had reached out for help, wouldn't I remember doing that?"

"Not if your mind is damaged, and it must be given that your memory is so bad you don't even seem to know what you look like," the vampire said, referring to how the figure was a blur rather than having any clear shape or form. "It could be some kind of automatic defense or self-repair mechanism. Any mind strong enough to facilitate access to another usually has that sort of capability built into it. It must have looked for a mind powerful enough to repair the damage, and in doing so opened the channel between our subconsciouses."

"My mind must be very powerful if it can do all that without me even knowing it," said the impressed blur. "But if you were able to come here, does that mean you are powerful as well?"

"Well, I should think so," the demon said with a smirk.

"Maybe powerful enough to help fix whatever's wrong with his psyche?" the angel suggested.

The vampire nodded in agreement. "We're here, so we might as well…may we sit, please?"

"Hmm? Oh, uh, go right ahead," the blur said, standing up as the four womon took their seats. It grabbed the teapot and carefully poured some tea into five cups, which he then distributed to his guests, retaining one for himself.

"Why, how very kind of you!" the angel said, touched.

"Well, it's nice to see that you retain your manners even if you don't have your memories," Gardevoir said warmly as she sipped her tea, deciding not to wonder how it was possible for her to be drinking something if she was currently a literal thought in someone else's head…or how the tea her vampire self was drinking had inexplicably turned into blood. "That says quite a lot about you, doesn't it?"

"It does?" said the confused blur.

"Certainly. If you're nice enough to offer hospitality and tea to visitors, it's very likely you aren't evil, because most villains don't bother with courtesies like that," the vampire said.

"Oh…I hadn't considered that," the blur confessed. "I wasn't even thinking when I did that. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I mean…I don't remember ever doing it before, but it still felt…right somehow. Almost familiar, actually."

"Which speaks volumes for your character, if a decent thing like that comes so easily to you that you do it automatically without thinking, or even any memories of your doing it in the past," the angel said approvingly.

"I…thank you," the blur said, flummoxed.

"Don't be so certain that means he's good. Oblivion's Shadow might behave the same way," the demon pointed out. "He's…kind of weird, that way."

"Oblivion's Shadow?" the blur asked. "Who is that?"

"The evilest creature alive," the angel said darkly.

"And our current captor," Gardevoir said sadly.

"Captor? But you are right here. Nobody is holding you captive," said the puzzled blur.

"There is more to the world than your mind or our own," the vampire said. "You are aware that there is a 'real' world, a place outside this, aren't you?"

"I…I think so," the blur said. "I…never thought about it until you've mentioned it, but now that you've said it, it seems like the most obvious thing in the world. But…I've never been there…or…have I? If so, it's not something I remember…and yet I must have…"

"So you know nothing of the real world besides this?" the angel asked sadly.

The blur shook its head (?). "If I do, I seem to have forgotten it, like everything else."

"Well, while we can converse freely in this mindscape, in the real world our body is being held prisoner by an incredibly evil being named Oblivion's Shadow, a strange creature who seeks to destroy this world, and possibly others," Gardevoir said.

"Oh my. Why would anyone want to do that?" asked the alarmed blur.

"We're still trying to figure that out for ourselves," the demon said. "So far we aren't really getting anywhere, though."

"Why is he holding you captive?" the troubled blur asked.

"Well, we think that he was originally going to use me as some sort of sacrifice to resurrect a being known as the 'Ruler of Evil,'" Gardevoir said.

"Does that name mean anything to you?" the vampire asked when the blur stiffened.

"I'm…not sure. For some reason, that name makes me feel…angry. I do not know why, though," said the perplexed blur.

"That's odd," the angel commented. "Considering the Ruler of Evil is the greatest force of evil that's ever existed, you'd think its name would inspire fear rather than anger."

The blur nodded in puzzlement. "Indeed, and yet…anger is all I feel. And anger is what I feel towards this 'Oblivion's Shadow,' too…intending to sacrifice a creature as lovely as yourself to revive something as terrible as that! Does he have no heart?"

"It doesn't seem that way," the angel said, hiding a blush.

"I don't know," Gardevoir said. "There's times when he's seemed…" She sighed and shook her head. "It's impossible to tell what's going on in his head. I'm starting to wonder if even he understands what he does…"

"In any event, you don't have to worry about us getting sacrificed," the vampire said. "Recently Gardevoir got turned into a vampire by a mysterious assailant—oh, sorry, do you know what a vampire is?"

"I…think so. It's a mythical creature that drinks blood, doesn't it?" the blur asked.

"Yes, but not quite so mythical in my case," Gardevoir said. "And because of it, I'm no longer suitable for his plans. And yet he still keeps me around rather than killing me…in fact, he actually seems to be trying to cure me…"

"Cure you? How very odd…" the blur said. "I didn't think vampires could be cured."

"Neither do we," the vampire said.

The demon frowned. "How is it you have no memory of your past, and yet you know what a vampire is, can serve tea, are able to speak legibly, and so on?"

"…I do not know. I suppose that is rather odd," said the perplexed blur. "I'm pretty sure I didn't know what any of those things were before you mentioned them, and yet I feel as if I have…always known what they were."

"Hmm…I wonder…" the angel murmured to herself. "Maybe it's not that you've forgotten everything, but you remember it all and have just forgotten that you remember it?"

"Huh?" asked the confused demon. "I don't get it."

"I do," said the vampire. "An interesting theory."

"Yes, it does have a ring of truth to it," the blur agreed.

"Hmm…if that's the case, then let's try something. I'm going to throw out some words, and we'll see if you can recognize them," Gardevoir suggested. "Maybe it'll help us figure out how much you really know and jog your memory."

"All right," the blur said obligingly.

"What do you think of when you hear the word 'Psyduck?'" Gardevoir said.

"A very stupid yellow water fowl with surprisingly powerful psychic abilities," the blur said.

"How about 'Potion?'" asked the angel.

"A curative spray used to treat wounds," the blur said.

"'Rainbow,'" said the vampire.

"A colorful light formation created by light refracting through water droplets," the blur said.

"'Human,'" the demon prompted.

The blur tensed at this. "H-human?"

"Do you not know what those are?" Gardevoir asked.

"No, I do, it's just…how odd. That word stirs strange…feelings. Mixed emotions. Anger and resentment as well as…as respect. Even…admiration," the blur said.

"But how could you feel all that for humans?" asked the perplexed angel.

The vampired nodded. "Yes, they've been extinct for almost a thousand years now."

The blur started at this. "Wh-what? A thousand years? I've…I've been in here that long?"

The Gardevoirs exchanged surprised looks. "What do you mean?" Gardevoir asked.

"I…I think…yes, I'm certain of it…I knew humans," said the amazed blur. "I do not know how, and I cannot recall any names or faces, but…I knew them. I walked among them, and hid from them, and watched them from afar. Of that I am certain. And…you say they are extinct?"

Gardevoir nodded. "Yes, they all died in a great disaster. I am not clear on all the details, but from gossip I have heard since I was imprisoned here, Oblivion's Shadow may have had something to do with it."

"In fact, he's supposed to have destroyed the entire planet! But then the Savior Deoxys and the Holy Mother Mew repaired it and restored everyone to life," the angel said reverently.

"Well, except for the humans," the demon said. "Why is that, anyway?"

"She probably had Her reasons," the angel said fiercely.

"Mew…that name also causes a strange…resonance in me," the blur murmured. "A positive one, though…affection. Caring. Even…love? Is that what this…sensation is?"

"It's not surprising. Everyone loves Mew," the vampire said. "She's the Mother of us all, after all, both figuratively and literally."

"That She is," the blur said. "But…the whole world, all of humanity, wiped out! This is…inconceivable…How could this Shadow have done something so awful? What would he have had to gain from it?"

"That's another thing we're still working on," the demon said.

"But…if you knew humans, that means you must have lived before the cataclysm. How could you possibly have survived?" asked the astonished Gardevoir. "It was almost a millennium ago!"

"Well, you survived," the angel pointed out.

"Yes, but not without scars of my own," Gardevoir admitted.

"You walked among humans as well?" asked the surprised blur.

Gardevoir nodded. "Yes, I did. However, I don't really remember a lot about it…much like you, I suppose. You see, some time before the great disaster I protected my trainer from a Ninetales' curse, and as a result was transformed into a bodiless spirit for the next thousand years. Recently, however, I was restored to my original form at the cost of most of my memories thanks to the efforts of my friends Ash and Gary-"

"Ash?" the blur burst in astonishment, rising from his chair so fast he knocked it over. "Did…did you say Ash?"

"Yes," said the surprised Gardevoir. "Why?"

"I…that name…I know that name! Yes…Ash…he was a human I knew! He was…my friend…" the blur whispered, sounding as amazed to learn this as the Gardevoirs were.

"What? But that's not possible! Ash is a Lucario!" the demon protested.

"Now he is," the vampire pointed out. "He used to be a human, remember?"

"Yes, from another world! He can't possibly be whoever the Ash our friend here is thinking of, can he?" the demon asked.

"What if they're both from the same world?" the angel suggested.

Gardevoir nodded. "That could be possible."

"Another world? I don't understand," said the confused blur.

"Ash is a former human who was brought to our world to save it and fulfill some sort of prophecy, getting transformed into a Lucario in the process," Gardevoir explained. "After he helped destroy a meteor that was going to collide with the Earth, and broke my curse, he settled in Pokemon Square, since he had no way to get back to his own world."

"…I see," the blur murmured. "And…you think he might be the same Ash I knew?"

"Well, sure, how many Ashes could there be?" the angel said.

"Well, given the near-infinite nature of the Omniverse…" the demon pointed out.

"Ash lost most of his memories when he came to our world, and since our friend here seems to be lacking memories too, perhaps the same thing happened," the vampire suggested.

Gardevoir nodded. "It makes as much sense as anything else."

"And it would also explain why he has memories of humans," the angel agreed. "Humans have been extinct in our world for ages, but it's not necessarily the same in others, right?"

"I…suppose so. Yes, something about that feels right…though not entirely…" the blur murmured, wondering why that was. The hypothesis sounded almost correct, but…there was still something missing… "Ash…where is he now?"

"He's trying to derail Oblivion's Shadow's plans and save us," Gardevoir said.

The blur nodded. "Yes, that sounds like the Ash I…used to know…I think. Do…do you think he could save me too?"

Gardevoir frowned. "Well, that depends. You have no idea where you are, right?"

"I…no, I don't," the blur admitted. "Just that I'm inside my own head, apparently."

"Well, maybe he's another prisoner of the Shadow?" the angel offered optimistically. "If he's somewhere close by, it could explain how our minds were able to connect…"

The demon nodded, seeing where her sister was going. "Yeah, and it might even explain why you're trapped here! Considering all the twisted experiments the Shadow's been up to, one of them might have damaged your mind so much you got locked up like this! Or maybe even retreated into yourself as a defense mechanism, to escape the pain…"

The vampired nodded. "Yes, I've heard of stuff like that happening before."

The blur shuddered. "Experiments…I…yes…I have been experimented on before. I did not…I did not like it."

"You poor thing," the angel said sympathetically, setting her teacup down, getting up from her place, and touching the blur on his shoulder (?). "Don't worry. We're here for you now."

The blur looked startled. "I…thank you. I appreciate that, more than you know."

"Well, that tears it, then…he must be a prisoner of Oblivion's Shadow," the demon concluded.

"Perhaps…" the vampire said, although she didn't seem one hundred percent certain.

"You don't seem one hundred percent certain," Gardevoir commented.

"I'm not, because you aren't," her alter ego pointed out. "While his being a prisoner of the Shadow makes sense, it's also a speedy and possibly incorrect assumption with little evidence to back it up, considering how little we really know about him. Like how he got here—wherever 'here' is-who he really is, and just what's happened to make him like this."

"I…I think I remember…something," the blur confessed abruptly. "Your mention of experiments and of putting myself in here due to some kind of damage jogged my memory. I think…I think I was hurt. Very badly. Everything was taken away from me. I…I lost…" He started shaking. "Everyone who…who I cared about…"

"Ssssh," the angel said, hugging him until his tremors faded. "Relax. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"N-no. I need to say this," the blur said, though he sounded a little reluctant. "My friends, my family, my home…all were destroyed. The…the pain was so great, I…I shut the world out. I locked myself away and forgot everything so that…so that it wouldn't hurt so much…"

The Gardevoirs exchanged looks. "Hmm…another interesting wrinkle to this mystery…" the vampire murmured.

"So…wait, that means he's not a prisoner of Oblivion's Shadow?" asked the confused demon.

Gardevoir gasped, getting a thought. "No, he still might be. Look, we're operating off the belief that Ash and our friend here both came from the same place, right?"

They nodded. "I think so, anyway," the blur said.

Gardevoir bit her lip. "Well…nobody's really mentioned it in front of Ash, but…there are some who think that the reason he hasn't been able to return to his own world is because…there's nothing for him to return to…"

"…Oh!" the angel gasped. "Then…the loss so terrible our friend here retreated within himself to escape his sorrow…"

"May have been Ash's loss as well…the loss of his friends, his loved ones, maybe even his entire world…perhaps that's the real reason Ash got amnesia?" the vampire suggested. "Because he didn't want to remember everything he'd lost?"

"And it might also explain why he's a prisoner of the Shadow, if he is in fact one," Gardevoir agreed. "Oblivion's Shadow may have found him when he appeared in our world and turned him into a specimen to learn his secrets or how he got here."

"Yes, that could be it!" the angel said, nodding excitedly.

"Oh, Ash…" the blur whispered, horrified. "Not you too…why must fate be so cruel?" He shook his head. "I have been a fool. I made a mistake in doing this to myself. By blocking out the world, I blocked out Ash too, and anyone else I might have known who could have survived…whatever happened. Ash may have needed me, but rather than help him, I was too busy wallowing in my own misery to notice…and now we're both damaged and apart, stranded in a world not our own…and yet you seem to be making a better life of it than I have. Why am I not surprised? From what little I remember of you, I can safely say that this is exactly how you would behave…you always did have a stronger heart than I did."

"Don't say that!" the angel chided. "You have a strong heart too…I can feel it! You have just as much compassion in you as Ash does!"

"…Thank you for saying so," the blur said, touched. "I hope you are correct in believing that."

"So do I," the demon muttered, though she didn't sound too cynical about it.

"Now that you know it was by your own hand you came to be here, do you know how to awaken yourself?" the vampire asked.

The blur shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately, I do not."

"Then we'll help you," Gardevoir said firmly. "The door to your mind appeared in mine. That means you must have reached out to us for help, without even knowing it. That also means we must be able to help you free yourself…and that's exactly what we're going to do!"

"Here, here," the vampire said, applauding her with a warm smile on her face.

"Oh, I'd hoped you'd say that!" said the relieved angel.

"Th-thank you…thank you so much…" the blur whispered gratefully.

"Um, I don't mean to rain on anyone's parade, and I want to help the guy as much as the rest of you, but…do we have time to?" the demon asked uneasily. "I mean, we've got a lot of other things going on. We have to keep careful control over the new vampires the resistance is breeding, help the Teacher keep everyone else in line and make sure our plans bear fruition, reestablish contact with the vampires who managed to escape Bellum and somehow get in touch with Ash in case they don't find him, find out what the Shadow's up to without him finding out how much power we've gained behind his back…is putting one more thing on our already overloaded plate really the best thing to do right now?"

"Of course it is!" the angel snapped angrily.

"No, she's right," the blur said quickly. "That does sound like a lot of work. I don't want to cause any trouble for you."

"If it's to help someone in need, then it's worth doing, no matter how much trouble may come as a result," Gardevoir said firmly, making up her mind. The angel nodded approvingly.

"And besides," the vampire pointed out to the dubious demon. "If he really is a prisoner of the Shadow, which we seem to have decided he is even though we haven't gotten concrete proof yet-"

"What more proof do you need? He's hurt, full of sorrow, and must be somewhere nearby for our minds to have created such a strong link! Where else could he be but somewhere in this dreadful place, being tormented by Oblivion's Shadow?" the angel demanded.

"I was just saying we still don't know for sure," the vampire said defensively. "Anyway, as I was saying, if he is the Shadow's prisoner, then if we help him remember who he is we might be able to learn something that could help our allies defeat the Nihilators."

"…I guess that's true," the demon admitted. "All right, let's give it a shot. However, it'll have to wait for another time."

"W-what? Why?" the blur asked in alarm.

"Because Gardevoir's about to wake up," the angel said. "And when she does, we'll all disappear from this place."

"I am?" asked the surprised Gardevoir.

"Certainly," the vampire said. "Don't you feel it?" Gardevoir frowned and realized to her surprise that she did. Her vision was slowly going out of focus, and she felt a 'tug' of some kind back in the direction of the door they had come through into this place.

"You're leaving? N-no…please, you can't go!" the blur said desperately. "I don't…I don't want you to go! I don't want to be alone again, now that I remember what it means to be alone!"

"I'm sorry, but we have no choice," the angel said sadly, her white skin becoming more luminous and translucent as she slowly began to fade away. As the blur stuttered unhappily, she wrapped her arms around him. "But don't worry. It won't be forever. We'll be back, I promise."

"You…you will?" the blur asked, calming down.

"Well, yeah," the demon said as she pointed to the open door, her red skin shimmering as she burst into flames. "We still have easy access here, don't we?"

The vampire nodded as, bit by bit, she dissolved into shadow. "Now that the connection between our minds is open, so long as neither of us chooses to close it, we can come in here whenever we want. Well, anytime Gardevoir is asleep or in her subconscious, anyway."

"I promise I'll come right back to see you the next time I'm asleep, or have enough time to myself to dive back down here," Gardevoir promised as her vision worsened and the blur grew…blurrier. "It may take a little while, but I promise we'll come back. This isn't the last you'll see of us. Remember, no matter what…you aren't alone."

"…I…thank you…" the blur whispered.

"And besides," the demon said with a wink. "There's no reason you can't come over and visit. We may not be able to cross over without Gardevoir around, but there's no reason you can't."

"That's true," the blur admitted. "I will consider that option. But should that possibility not be available to me…then I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes."

"And I will do my best to make sure it will not be that long a wait," Gardevoir said. Her vision grew dimmer, and one by one her figments disappeared; in a flash of light, in a burst of flames, in an implosion of darkness. "So, until then…"

"Until then…" the blur echoed wistfully.

"Farewell," Gardevoir said.

And then she awoke back into the unpleasant reality that was her life. She found herself wishing she could have continued dreaming a little longer.

Wow. That was almost as hard as the finals, if not harder.

And that's most likely it for 2010! I'll look forward to seeing you all again in the New Year. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays, and have fun freezing to death while I'm living it up in sunny Africa. Thanks for reading!