I kinda absolutely loved writing this! Was one of the most enjoyable yet!
For all of you that commented on the lead into these moments, and showed so much love for it! Told you it would come around again!
Part 53
Katherine didn't have the energy to deny it any longer. She needed him. She needed him more than she could remember needing anyone in her life. He stilled the pain she was feeling, if only for a moment. He kept at bay all the rage and sorrow she'd carried with her for so long. And he reminded her how good it had once felt to be happy. To be truly happy. No fake smiles and platitudes or false gratitude. She had thought the feeling was lost to her. But when he was with her she felt it sneak up, before she even knew what it was.
She was happy, as much as she could be, when she was with him. No matter what they were doing. They could be arguing, and they did, often. Elijah would never hurt her. She knew that better than anything. The thought left so many questions unanswered. By all rights, she should hate him. She should be scared to death of him. But she couldn't. "I need…" she began to say. Her breath started to come out hurried and she felt the skin of her stomach tighten.
Katherine's illusion was shattered and she reached for her temple. "Katerina?" he inquired. "I'm fine, really…I'm." Katherine's voice began to slur as Elijah's hands started stroking her face. His fingers kneaded her temples and her head sank into the pillow beneath it. "I'm…" she attempted. Her eyes began to droop and the pain ebbed away. Katherine's lids closed and Elijah smiled. Anything he could do to ease her he would do. Elijah's fingers ghost over a strand of her hair, moving it from her cheek. He gets himself another washcloth, fills the bowl again with warm water, and cleans the blood from her face. Elijah groans after he finishes his task. The cloth is so heavy in his hand. He sighs and starts to stand up, pulling away.
Katherine feels the weight on the bed shift and she opens her eyes. She grabs his shirt collar, pulling him back to her. "Don't," she says. Elijah tilts his head, looking down at her hand he watches as her fingers curl. One of his hands wraps around hers. He's surprised at the amount of strength she still possesses. The other hand goes to the curve of her cheek. His index finger caresses her skin, curving under her chin. He tilts her face up and she's looking into his eyes. Katherine 's grip relaxes. She sees in his eyes what his touch tells her. He's not leaving. Elijah pulls away again. His touch moves from her cheek to her hand. She allows him to pull her fingers away this time and his jacket slides through her grip.
Katherine swallows as Elijah walks around the foot of her bed. He keeps some part of him touching the sheets she's lying on the entire time and his eyes never leave her face. His pace slows as she sighs and he pauses on the other side of the bed. He picks up a pillow that had been thrown off the side, tossing it onto the other end. He turns towards her and sees that her eyes are finally closed. The tension drains from his muscles and he allows the weight of his feelings to over come him. He slumps back into the arm chair behind him. His feet stretch out and his hands hang off the side of the arms. Elijah continues to watch Katherine. Her hand has come up by her face, and her eyes are thankfully, still tightly closed.
Elijah leans forward, closer to her. His elbows rest on his knees and he stares straight ahead at her. What was he going to do? Elijah shook his head. "What am I going to do?" he asked himself. His hand rubbed his face, stretching his eye lids. He turned his head into his hand and sighed. His breath fanned his palm and he sat for a moment. Elijah bit his lip and groaned. His eyes danced around the room. Almost as if he was convinced that the answer was right in front of him. He didn't see the answer, but he saw Katherine. She was the question. How was he going to save her? There was no if, just how.
He looked around again, and he spied something on the floor. Elijah leaned over his knees and peered at the object. He bent at the waist and reached for it. It was a book, sitting on the floor. Just as the pillow had been, as if someone had thrown it to off the bed. It was lying open on the ground and Elijah fingered the pages. Turning the book over, he looked down at the page. He recognized it. Oddly enough, he recognized the exact page the reader had stopped on. The exact paragraph. The exact sentence. Elijah looked over at Katherine and smiled.
He stood from the chair and walked around the side of the bed again. The desk by her head provided the chair that he'd been sitting in before and he pulled it closer to the bed. Elijah sat down, still smiling. It was a wonderful memory that was in his head. His smile grew as he looked at the book. He'd started reading this to her once before.
Elijah didn't need to mark the page he was on. He could find it with his eyes closed. They'd never gotten to finish the book and this was the page they'd stopped on. Elijah flipped through the chapters. Each page he randomly opened to contained a memory of her. A laugh for this passage, or a breathtaking smile for the next. He flipped to the title page and stopped. The book hadn't been marked in any of the text. But it was marked here. In more ways than one.
Elijah flexed his fingers and stretched the book out further. He was careful not to stretch it to far. This was an old book. And from the looks of it, definitely well read. There was a piece of parchment tucked into the fold of the spine. It was folded several times. The parchment protested being moved and it flaked as he maneuvered it. When he unfolded one corner Elijah recognized the writing. It was unmistakably written in her hand. He set the book down and scanned the words scrawled out.
January 20, 1867
II
The seasons bring the flower again,
And bring the firstling to the flock;
And in the dusk of thee, the clock
Beats out the little lives of men.
VII
A hand that can be clasp'd no more -
Behold me, for I cannot sleep,
And like a guilty thing I creep
At earliest morning to the door.
He is not here; but far away
The noise of life begins again,
And ghastly thro' the drizzling rain
On the bald street breaks the blank day.
VIII
So find I every pleasant spot
In which we two were wont to meet,
The field, the chamber, and the street,
For all is dark where thou art not.
Yet as that other, wandering there
In those deserted walks, may find
A flower beat with rain and wind,
Which once she foster'd up with care;
XVIII
Ah yet, ev'n yet, if this might be,
I, falling on his faithful heart,
Would breathing thro' his lips impart
The life that almost dies in me;
That dies not, but endures with pain,
And slowly forms the firmer mind,
Treasuring the look it cannot find,
The words that are not heard again.
XXIV
And was the day of my delight
As pure and perfect as I say?
The very source and fount of Day
Is dash'd with wandering isles of night
XXVII
I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;
Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
Nor any want-begotten rest.
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis Better To Have Loved And Lost
Than Never To Have Loved At All.
In Memoriam; The Lord Tennyson
Elijah looked over at Katherine as she stirred. Her soul had always been rooted in love. Her actions through the years proved that they always would be. There was so little that she knew of her own story. Elijah looked down at the parchment again. The words were so full of life. But the way they were written each laid flat. Elijah could almost feel that when she wrote this she did not believe it even as she penned it. He folded down the final crease and forgot the words he'd just read for a moment.
A small dried flower was crushed flat in between the fold. Elijah picked it up and held it under his nose. It had been so long, but he remembered the fragrance well. The small lightly scented blue pendant had evolved over the years but it was still one of the most recognizable of English flowers. You always knew spring was here when they were in bloom. It was a great shame they were so close to disappearing all together. You weren't even aloud to pick them anymore.
Elijah smiled as he remembered Katerina's first reaction to the English Bluebell. Her beginning fascination with them had marked their first walk together that hadn't been interrupted by Klaus. Elijah had been eager to introduce her to the beauty of their home and he knew no better example aside from this one flower. It had been lucky that she'd arrived during the few weeks of their bloom. So rare, with such a short life. He and his brother had once looked forward to spotting the first blossom every year.
He could remember her reaction clearly. That day he had been sure to walk just a little ahead so he could glance back and see her face. It had been somewhat difficult for him to find a pace that involved her staying behind him. For the most part he choose to walk beside her. It seemed that she preferred it that way. The effort had been well worth it though. When she'd rounded the corner her face lit up. Katerina had been breath-taking as she'd said that she couldn't breathe. A field of the flowers stretched out before them. Katerina started to take a step towards them. She stopped and put her hand to her lips. Elijah watched her the whole time, enjoying the moment with her. She called the patch a lavender sea and he smiled at her observation.
Katerina had wanted to know all about them instantly. She'd asked him many different questions before she stopped to take a breath. He was used to her asking questions. He'd remarked on her eagerness and told her first, that the flower, though ethereal, was also poisonous. His warning hadn't stopped her from tromping through them. They seemed to like her just as much, because she never suffered any symptoms. The gardens she choose for their walks always had fields of them near by. His like for the walks continued to grow, just as surely as the flowers did.
Elijah twirled what was left of the flower's stem in his fingers. There was no mistaking. This was most surely a bluebell. But then, how did she get it? Elijah had never known them to grow anywhere else. She'd never kept one when he was with her. Had she gone back? After she fled England, did she return? Katherine stirred and Elijah glanced from the flower to her. He supposed that it didn't really matter. Elijah smiled again as he smelled the flower one final time. There was so much that he missed of London. He placed the flower gently back where he found it. Refolded the parchment, and returned it back just as it had been. Elijah sat back in his chair and flipped through the pages. He found the page he'd been on as easily as he'd known he would, and began to read a loud.
Katherine stretched. She felt herself smile and she heard a familiar voice. She could almost smell the flowers all around them. The wind moving the bells in the breeze like the waves of the ocean. She giggled when she remembered her introduction to the beautiful blossom.
He'd scolded her as if she was a child when she'd reached to pick one. A glance over her shoulder and she knew he was jesting with her. Ever curious, she inquired why she couldn't. What he said next had her laughing in earnest.
"Surely you don't expect me to believe that My Lord." "A flower is not a dangerous thing."
"So, beauty is never deceiving, Katerina?" Elijah handed her the book they'd been reading earlier that day. Katerina took it from him, clutching it as if it was a precious thing. To her it was.
"I did not say that." "Do you anticipate me again, My Lord?"
"I would never do such a thing." Katerina smiled and turned away so he couldn't see her blush. He was teasing her again and she loved it when he did. His intensions seemed innocent enough. He had never reached for her as Klaus had tried. Still, he always held her attention. And when they were together she craved his words.
"So, what, may I inquire, will be my punishment, should I touch such a forbidden thing?"
"Will I be subjected to a grave illness?" she asked in jest.
"Nothing quite so serious, My Lady." His voice had gone gruffer and she giggled. Elijah smiled at her reaction. "The blossom is irritating to the skin," he said again in his regular, hypnotizing voice.
Katerina glanced over her shoulder, eyeing him. "Surely, one touch, can not be deadly."
She smiled slowly as he took a step towards her. "Why take the risk?" he asked.
"For the beauty of it." "There is so much color and light, all around us, everywhere." "But mostly we choose to ignore it." "I could only have it with me for a short time." "But the time spent, would be worth it" "So much doesn't, nor can last." "Friends, family, a place to call home…we should hold onto everything we are granted." Elijah smiled slowly and his expression turned sad. She was so alive, and so full of hope. Katerina watched as Elijah grew stiff. He glanced over his shoulder and she looked at him funny. Sometimes he seemed to her to be so alone. This was another moment when he was oceans away from her. She felt his distance, just as she always did. "We should retire for the evening Katerina."
Katerina looked up at the sky and noted that his observation was correct. The sky was beginning to darken as vibrant colors streaked overhead. But then, he hadn't looked up. How did he know? "Shall we?" Elijah asked, offering her his arm. Katerina turned and began walking towards him when she stopped suddenly. She threw him a grin and Elijah gave her a curious look. She took a step backwards and Elijah crossed his arms, shifting his weight to one hip. He watched in amazement as Katerina picked up her skirts and swished them dramatically, turning her back to him. He waited, as she ran a short distance, stopping in front of a particularly beautiful blossom. She looked over at him and smiled. He raised his eye brows at her. What was she up to?
Katerina leaned over and grasped the blossom, tugging it until the stem snapped. Elijah felt a smile spread over his face as she bounded back over to him, the flower in hand. She halted in front of him and held the flower out. The stem twirled in her fingers and Elijah chuckled. He caught her eyes and held them as his fingers closed over hers and he pulled the flower from her hand. "Now you'll suffer with me," she teased. Elijah felt something tug at his heart. If only she knew the truth. He did suffer.
His face betrayed none of his thoughts and Elijah smiled wider as he smelled the blossom. He knew that the flower would not infect a vampire. Katerina stood in front of him, shifting on her feet, still smiling.
Katerina watched as Elijah smelled the blossom. His eyed closed as he inhaled. And she smiled as the features transformed on his eloquent face. His eyes lifted and that rare, beautiful smile that she loved was back where it belonged. His gaze held hers and she smiled wider.
"And what of love, Katerina?" He lowered the flower from between them and looked at her. "Does it last?" he asked her.
Katerina swallowed the breath she'd just tried to take. His eyes were mesmerizing as he gazed down at her. She saw herself in his gaze. The beautiful brown took on golden hues and seemed to swirl before her. The flower in front of his chin was just a small speck of violet. His eyes bore into hers and she couldn't look away. Her cheeks flamed and she felt fire dancing along her skin. The cooling air of the evening did nothing to aid in her struggle. He held her captive. For a woman so independent, she was surprised to find she was okay with that. He would take care of her even if he realized her state. She went against her own better thought, and leaned into him. Katerina was breathless when she answered him.
You may choose not to believe, My Lord, but, Love...it's the only thing that does."
Elijah looked at Katherine as he turned to the last page. She was smiling and he found himself smiling with her. It was a wonderful memory. One that could keep you warm if you were cold. He had so few of them. The ones that he had he held dear. They'd rarely spoken of fanciful things. She'd admitted her affection for something only rarely. And only when it was just the two of them.
She confessed her love for animals to him easily and he very often found her in his private stables. He had given her free roam of the place when she'd shown regard for his mare. She was the first woman he met that preferred to ride astride, and not sidesaddle when in private company. Katerina said it made her feel inadequate. Elijah had bent over laughing when she'd told him that. She glared at him as he'd laughed. But her angry had dissipated when he'd invited her to ride with him. He said that she could ride anyway she choose, because it mattered not how to him. It had been a wonderful afternoon.
She had once held little regard for finery and fluff outside of polite society. The expanse of the manor impressed her. But she didn't seem to hold any of the grand rooms in high esteem. Except for the library. It quickly became the place to find her when she spent her days waiting for Klaus. Over time waiting seemed to matter to her, less and less. She belonged curled up in his father's big chair, by the fire that dominated their drawing room. Her legs dangling and moving about in front of the flames. He could hear her giggle or gasp sometimes as he passed the entrance on the way to his chambers in the evening hours. She would remain long after the maids had turned down the lamps. And he would fall asleep listening to the joyful sounds she made.
It always seemed that he came to her. He knew where to find her at any given time. The only time she ever sought him out he was in his mother's greening room. He had just bid her good bye. She was going to visit their father. He'd been away too long tending to some family affairs. Elijah always kept care of her garden when she was away. She'd just left when Katerina sauntered in. She made an attempt to be quite. But her eagerness and curiosity had made her foot falls very heavy. She easily found her way over to his mother's roses. Elijah made himself scarce as she'd admired them. When he'd asked her about her appreciation later. He'd found out that roses where her favorite flower. He thought they suited her, beauty matched with beauty. That conversation had given him the idea for the bluebells.
Katherine turned toward him on her bed. Elijah reached out and stroked one of her fingers. It was easy to be with her when he remembered how things were, before the night it all took it's turn. When they could just be in each other's company. Before she had learned the truth of the sacrifice. Elijah's lips read the words, but his mind didn't register them. He knew the book by heart, regardless and his eyes were no longer on the page. His mouth was saying, "as well as Elizabeth," but his mind was screaming. I can not loose her. Katherine's voice started him when he heard it. He thought she'd fallen asleep. Elijah stopped to listen. She was mumbling something, but he couldn't understand what it was. He went back to reading after a while, curious if that was what she was responding to.
"…of the warmest gratitude towards the persons who, by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been…" he continued to read. Katherine's voice joined his on the final words. "...the means of uniting them..." Elijah looked up and watched her lips move as they recited the final words. Her eyes opened and she looked over at him as he closed the book. Katherine reached her hand out and Elijah grabbed it, squeezing her fingers. She opened her mouth several times and Elijah leaned closer, wanting to hear her.
Katherine felt her conscious leaving her as she focused on Elijah's face. She smiled and breathed in deep. She could still smell them. The bluebells were all around her in her mind. Thoughts became few and her vision started to blur. She blinked quickly, determined to stay awake. She couldn't make out the color of Elijah's eyes anymore and she began to wonder where she was. She'd forgotten sometime between now and the last few seconds. Blood assaulted her taste buds and she coughed. There was an echo in her mind and she concentrated on drowning it out. The effort took most of her energy. "It lasts…always" she whispered with her fading effort. By this time, Katherine had no idea what she was talking about. She fell deep into sleep and when she dreamed it was of books, roses, beautiful mares, bluebells, and the person who she'd shared all of them with.
