Chapter 51

Gadreel drove my car as I dozed off or zoned out like a zombie. We were close to Sam and Dean's Men of Letters bunker. I continued thinking of my mother and what I can do to save her. I had thought of Castiel bringing her back, but I remembered what Gadreel had told me about those girls: an angel can't intervene when someone has sold their soul.

I sort of muttered it during one of my zombie modes and Gadreel surprised me.

"Once a soul is taken, an angel could retrieve it. I just never heard of anyone trying." He said with a bit of sadness. I knew what that sadness was saying; angels should try more often and getting one to do it might be impossible.

I watched myself more carefully after that, but Gadreel seemed to know that my mind was thinking of as many solutions as it could.

"They'll help." he said. "Promise me you'll leave it up to the Winchesters." He said softly and when I met his eyes, they were full of concern. I didn't want to think about what they were telling me, but I knew. Gadreel knew that I'd be reckless in my grief and my determination to get back my mother. He didn't want that. He wanted someone else to do it so he wouldn't lose me.

He continued to stare at me. He even slowed down the car. He was waiting for me to make that promise. Only I couldn't.

"I won't put myself in danger." I said, not really knowing if I could back up those words.

Gadreel hesitated, as if he could see my uncertainty in my eyes, but continued to drive and soon, we drove up to this place. It didn't look like I had imagined. We got out of my car and I followed Gadreel to this door. When he knocked, a sound echoed.

The place didn't look like much, but from that echo, it must be pretty big.

When the door opened, it was a tall and slender man with lots of hair and side burns who stood there with a hard expression on his face. However, I focused more on his eyes. He had hunter eyes; full of hardship. I knew that look because it's the look I now have in my eyes.

"Sam." Gadreel said and he just seemed stunned and confused. "It's me, Gadreel." He added. Sam didn't say anything. "I'm human." He said and after a few seconds, Sam glanced at me. His expressions softened, probably because he could see grief written all over my face. "This is Anne Cromwell, a hunter." Gadreel said and Sam just glanced back at him.

"Come in." he said after he hesitated a little and stood back to let us in. Once the door closed behind us, I looked down and sort of felt in awe. The place was so much larger than I thought and it was stunning. It was old with retro technologies. Most importantly, looking at everything; I felt safe. I couldn't understand why; probably because I knew hunters lived here safely.

Another guy came into view and, like Sam, hardship was in his eyes. He was very handsome and his eyes met mine and locked. His eyes were hard like he had been to Hell and back. I couldn't imagine how someone with so much hardship was still standing.

I felt Gadreel stand close to me, placing a protective hand on my hip as his arm wrapped around me, and then this guy looked at Gadreel as if in anger. His eyes narrowed and he seemed ready to defend his home. Unlike Sam, this one wasn't so friendly and eager to help.

"It's Gadreel." Sam said to his brother, Dean, if I assumed correctly. "And this is Anne Cromwell." He added and Dean looked back at me. "She's a hunter." He added again, his tone odd. He made it sound like there was doubt in his voice. I didn't approve of that.

"Castiel said you'd might take our help." Gadreel said and when we descended the stairs, Dean clenched his jaw, but nodded slightly.

"You offering?" he asked Gadreel and glanced at me as if I too could answer that question.

"We are." I said in a harsh tone; harsher than I intended. But, I just lost my mother so yeah, I was going to be harsh and not really care about it. "And we need your help." I said and both him and Sam didn't seem surprised. "My mother made a deal with a demon." I said and then they looked sort of uncomfortable. This I found odd.

"There's not much we can do." Sam said and Dean's facial expression seemed to support that statement. Now I understood; they were trying to let me down gently. After what I've been through, there was nothing gentle about it.

"My mother sold her soul for me." I said and the brothers didn't seem to change their minds. If anything, they just seemed a little more sympathetic. "The thing is, I was already alive." I added.

Now I had their attention. They stared at me, eyebrows knit together, and then she exchanged glances.

"Did you say you were already alive?" Sam asked and I shot him a cold glare. I didn't feel like repeating myself.

"I suppose this makes the deal –" Gadreel began, but I cut him off, yet again with my harsh tone.

"Invalid."

I didn't mean to cut off Gadreel, but I wanted Sam and Dean to know that I was more intelligent than they thought. I wanted them to see why I was this way; my mother got ripped off and there was nothing in the world to rectify that but me. And I couldn't do it on my own.

The brothers stared at me, as if considering helping me and when they glanced at Gadreel, they seemed like they were coming to a conclusion. Apparently, Gadreel's soft eyes were doing the trick. When the Winchesters glanced back at me, I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Either you help me or I do it alone." I said and then they glanced at Gadreel and that was it. Apparently the look in his eyes must have been begging for their help.

"Alright." Dean said and then gestured for Gadreel to follow him. "You can park the car." He added.

I glanced over my shoulder as both of them went up the stairs and walked out. I glanced back at Sam and he gave me a soft smile. However, I wasn't really feeling that whole friendliness.

"Got a room?" I asked him and he seemed a little stunned, but nodded.

"Yeah." He said, but then seemed a little confused. "You mean two, right?" he asked me and I didn't even crack a smile. What was with these two? They don't understand the first time?

"No. Just one." I said and then he got the point. Gadreel and I were to have a room together.

He led the way and showed me our room. I glanced inside and knew it wouldn't ever feel like home, but it was a place for me and Gadreel. Anywhere with Gadreel was home enough for me. Sam stood beside me, as if waiting for my approval. I met his eyes and tried to be nice.

"It's good." I said and then I heard noise. I realized it was an engine and when I glanced at Sam, he gave me that soft smile again.

"Underground parking." He said and I didn't say anything or show it in my face. This was making him uncomfortable. "We have Wi-fi too." He said and I cracked a very weak smile.

"Imagine my surprise." I said dryly. However, he seemed to know that I was trying to be nice.

He showed me around and after a few minutes, Dean and Gadreel came back carrying my bags. We were moving in and judging by Dean's eyes, Gadreel must have told him our story, or at least mine. Dean looked softer, especially when his eyes were on me.

After the tour and awkward small talk, we sat down and got something to eat. The men were silent, but not for long. I wanted to get this started and there were things I needed to know. Castiel mentioned something about Hell and I wanted to hear it.

"Tell me everything I need to know." I said and I didn't have to specify. Mind you, the look on their faces made me wonder if I had to. Still, they knew what I was talking about.

They told me about Crowley, the King of Hell. I thought Lucifer held that title, but he got put into a cage. I didn't bother asking about that; they assured me he wasn't getting out and that was enough for me. They told me that Crowley recently took a Cambion for his Queen. They met a Cambion before, but she was something different. Then there was a demon named Nikolai with the Mark of Cain and the First Blade.

They explained that story and, by the look in both Sam and Dean's eyes, I didn't ask who got tossed into the ringer washer in that story. I think I already knew. It explained the look in Dean's eyes.

It was obvious that Sam and Dean wanted to put a stop to Hell and everything in it, but even I knew that it was much larger than them, than what they could ever handle. I don't even know if all the hunters in the world could shut down Hell.

As I listened to Sam and Dean, as much as I hated to admit it, I wondered if they lost sight of how primordial Hell was and how that affected its power. I wouldn't want them to hear this, but I doubted they ever could close Hell.

"We can summon Crowley." Sam said and both brothers weren't looking forward to that. "I'm sure he'll release your mother." He added and Dean let out a sharp laugh.

"You hope. He's a douchebag." He said and I met his eyes. "Knowing him, which I do, he'll try to get something in return." He added and I glanced at Gadreel, knowing he'd be very worried now.

His green eyes were narrowed on me, but they were somewhat soft.

"I'm tired." I said as I got up and the Winchesters just stared at me as if they weren't sure what to think of me. I couldn't care less. What I cared about was that Gadreel stood up just as quickly as I did and followed me to our room.

All our bags were just placed near the door inside and I quickly grabbed some to start unpacking. Gadreel stared at me, confused, but just sat down on the bed behind me as I stored our clothes in the dresser drawers.

"Anne…" he said and I knew, just by his tone, that he wanted to say something comforting, but just didn't know what. I could hear that he didn't want to say the wrong thing. It made me feel bad and I stopped putting our clothes in and just stood still, shoulders tensed.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away." I said and after a few seconds, I heard the bed springs and felt his arms wrap around my waist and his chin rest on my shoulder. It made me smile weakly. His embraces had more healing potential than anything I knew, even my spells.

"You didn't." he said softly and a tear began forming in my eyes. "I'll always be with you." He added and I placed my hands on his as I let my tear fall down my cheek. "I'll always love you." He added and I couldn't fight it anymore.

I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his neck tightly. This was the first hug I had given him after my mother's death. It seemed to do more for him than it did for me. This told him that I was coming out of this and returning to him.

"I'll always love you too, Gadreel." I said and when I pulled back, he wiped away my tear as if he already knew it was there. His eyes bore into mine, but it was comforting. It made me realize just how much I needed to be alive again; that remaining in the darkness, the coldness would have kept us apart.

We needed each other and we both needed to be alive. In the now.

That's what his eyes were telling me: to follow my own words of wisdom and live in the now.

When fatigue started to hit me hard, Gadreel stroked my face, making me sleepier by the second. He coaxed me into bed and I curled up next to him as he wrapped an arm around me, placing a tender kiss on my head. I closed my eyes and focused on his warmth, on his heartbeat singing to me like the most beautiful lullaby in the world and in Heaven.

As I began fading into sleep, I knew that being in Gadreel's arms was my true safe place, not this bunker. As long as I had his arms to hold me, I would always be safe from anything life threw at me... or took away.

The End

Or is it? Check my story "I Just Want to be Loved", especially chapter 51 for a little clue…

And, I'll be fair and warn you that I'll be busy this year, so if I do have a new project in mind, it'll take a while before I post it. At least you'll have this story to keep you warm… lol