***
Emma stood up, stars in her eyes and everything was spinning. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears, drowning out all other noise, like she was underwater. August helped her to her feet and steadied her when she looked ready to sink back down.
Emma closed her eyes, but she smiled. It was back. August's hold was more than support, it was comforting and arousing . Never was feeling anything, even pain and exhaustion, so exhilarating.
She opened her eyes. August looked into her eyes, worry replaced with joy. "Thank God, you're back!" He murmured gently.
Emma gave him a sheepish smile. She turned to face Henry. Tears were on his cheeks, but he was grinning. Emma propped herself against the wall of the cave. Henry embraced her. Emma had to blink away tears. God, she loved her son. And she remembered all the joy and the sorrow that came with it. She could feel them again.
August's watch beeped.
Emma turned to look at him. "Wait, that was the timer for 29 minutes, right?"
"What happened then?" She asked. "What do you suppose happened to make things change back early?"
Someone made a deal.
Emma looked around for the source of the voice. The beast usually spoke in her head, not outloud.
You really have to be careful how you word a bargain with dark magic. Loopholes are normal.
"Henry?" Emma questioned.
"Right here." Henry answered.
Emma shook her head. "No, Henry Sr."
Correct. And I have been waiting for you.
The voice was old and soothing, in a way that the beast's was not. It wasn't placating, nor serpentine. It was firm and yet weary.
"How about you come where we can see you?" August challenged.
It is hard enough to do this. I no longer have a physical form.
Emma nodded. "Because Regina had to kill you, to create the curse?"
There was silence. For at least a minute.
"Way to go, bringing that up." August grumbled. "Now he may not speak again."
I am not so easily wounded. I was married to Cora after all.
August jumped slightly. Emma cracked a smile.
Henry took a deep breath. "How can you speak to us, if you are dead?"
Death is just another state of being. You can never not be.
Of course, the dark magic of the curse, doesn't hurt either.
"See, he has a sense of humor, August." Emma grinned.
"A cynical one." August muttered.
The main thing that has kept me any shade of sane down here.
"How do I remove magic from Storybrooke, Mr. Mills?" Emma inquired. "Maggie said to ask you."
Of course she did. Henry Sr. didn't seem to be pleased with this. There was a heavy sigh.
"We can't, can we?" Henry muttered sadly.
You won't want to.
Emma looked up addressing the walls. "Why not?"
Returning magic to a realm that used to have it, a realm merely displaced inside of another, that was not so difficult. Adding magic is always easier.
"But removing it is hard. Just like you can't completely take back an injury to someone." Emma sighed.
There was a hmmm noise of agreement.
If you must know, the price will be just as steep as the one that brought us here. You must sacrifice the thing you love most.
Emma paled. "I must kill Henry? Surely, that isn't the only way." Henry's hand tensed in hers. She glanced at Henry with a look that fiercely said that was never going to happen. Henry relaxed slightly.
No. It doesn't have to be you. But someone must sacrifice that which they love most. With the intent of eliminating magic.
"Will that take us back to the where everyone is from too?" Henry asked, his voice shaking.
No.
"What will?" August asked.
That world is dead. Unraveled at its very core. The only way to go back, is to go back in time.
"Which involves killing me." Emma sighed.
"What?" Henry turned to face her with shock. August looked worried too.
"Is that what your rant was about? With the whiskey?" August asked softly. "Rumplestiltskin told you how to break the curse."
Henry blinked. "What?" He merely repeated like a bleating lamb.
"Yes, that is how you break the curse." Emma answered August, not ready to look at Henry. Her son who was previously so intent on breaking the curse. "I am part of the curse. My magic, and the magic of my conception is what was used to bring us here. I would have to die, for everyone to go back. But they would be going back, to the moments before the curse set in, so personally, I don't think that would fix anything. But I have agreed to do it."
"What?" August verbally jumped on her, Henry just stared at the ground.
"As an absolute last resort, obviously." Emma added. "I am not looking to mess with people's lives like that."
Sophia was right then. You needed to decide for yourself. You needed to know what you were fighting for.
There was an eerie silence. Which Henry broke. He seemed to be addressing Henry Sr. however. "Has this already happened? Going back in time?"
Emma frowned. She hadn't thought of that. Was she living life over and over again, never remembering the last time?
Yes. Twice.
Emma growled. "Twice? I have had to make this decision twice already?"
No. I would not consider them decisions if you didn't know what your death would bring.
Now there was a heavy silence. For several minutes the group stood mulling in their thoughts.
"What happened?" Henry timidly broke the silence.
The voice was silent.
"Answer, dammit." Emma growled.
A heavy sigh.
So much of life is based off the little things. When one has the power to see the future, you see the big events. But you can't possibly see the small things that lead to it, or you'd spend your life watching life.
"That isn't an answer." Emma contested, her anger building. She felt something stir inside her again, most likely the Beast. She grit her teeth and tried to keep calm.
Henry Sr. seemed to sense her battle and quickly added to his statement.
That is what destroyed me, seeing the future. I love my daughter. I died for her happiness, even though I didn't believe that this would do it. But when all you see is tragedy after tragedy, you tend to stop making choices. The man Regina knew was not the man who married Cora. Who saw potential in a long suffering woman. Regina only saw a man too cowardly to defend her from the same woman. But everything I did do led to more suffering, so I stopped acting.
Henry surprised everyone with his response. His eyes fiery, he almost yelled at the man whom he shared a name with. "You should have fought for her. Any suffering would have been dulled by the knowledge that you would try your hardest to protect her." He began to cry and Emma wrapped her arms around him.
Unfortunately, Cora thought she was doing just that.
...But, I am fighting for her heart now.
"It might be too late." Henry sobbed.
"Shh, I know it has been a long day, but we can't get our hopes down." Emma whispered stroking his hair.
"You don't get it." Henry cried.
"Then explain it." Emma whispered.
"Someone had to make a deal." He cried. "To get your heart back to you. It came back before 29 minutes."
He's right. Actually, if someone hadn't made a deal, then it wouldn't have come back at all.
Emma turned to August, a light going on in her mind. "Where's my mother, Pinocchio?" She growled.
August sighed. "She wouldn't come with us. I can't be in two places at once."
"Then you should have stayed together." Emma countered.
"You wouldn't have lasted through the corridors of the mines, without Henry and I." August pushed back, their voices escalating.
"Oh, yeah. Well it's not like my mother has all these extra hearts to keep giving away." Emma yelled. "Who wants to bet she ripped her own heart out for me? Because apparently that is what every psycho from this stupid world wants."
"This is your world and your people too." August argued back, his eyes flashing.
"Stop it." Henry sobbed. "Stop fighting."
Enough.
There was silence, but the two adults were still angry with each other.
The beast doesn't own Snow's heart. I would have felt it. It doesn't have it. Not this time.
"What?" Emma looked up.
That's what happened the first time. You asked didn't you?
Emma nodded. A heavy feeling set in her stomach.
The first time the curse came through, Snow and you went through the tree together. That was her original plan after all. She raised you and as a young adult brought you back to a bitter and twisted realm. A bit too early, though. She was anxious to rescue her husband and your father, and you were headstrong and convinced that like all teenagers that you could handle it. Regina still had no happiness and had sold herself to the darkness, bringing magic to Storybrooke. Dark Magic. Upon entering a very magical Storybrooke, all the magic that had been removed in the journey came back into Snow and yourself. Snow fell into the dark magic in her veins, when she tried to protect you and the two of you had a huge fight. Once you learned the full story, not the epic heroic things that your mother had fed you all your life, once you felt drowned in the real darker past, the Beast made its move. Your previously sainted mother fell from your graces. Your whole world view was shattered and you soon fell with her. You eventually went a bit mad over the years and you killed her and Regina. I had to wake Rumplestiltskin's memories, which Regina had taken away, so that he could destroy you before you took Regina's place, slowly tormenting the townspeople and destroying yourself.
Emma felt like she was going to be sick. Because this, unfortunately, didn't seem like an unlikely version of how things could have ended. She closed her eyes and massaged her forehead. Henry squeezed her tighter.
August growled. "How do we know that you are not the Beast? That this isn't just some sort of poisonous lie to get us to do something?"
Emma sighed. "He is part of the Beast. Just as much as any of the rest of us are. Besides, I could see that happening, Pinocchio. That miserable and dark past."
August clenched his jaw. "Enough of that Emma! Stop selling yourself short. You are the savior of this realm."
Emma contested, "According to a book, that Henry wrote, perhaps. But if you think that somehow makes me any less like Regina or the Beast or anyone else in this miserable, suffering town, then you are lying. Lying to yourself and to Henry."
August stiffened.
Henry looked up at her with tears in his eyes. "You said you wanted to be the savior."
Emma sighed. "I do, kiddo. I do. And apparently I did then, at some point, but that still went wrong."
But this time is different...
Henry whispered. "What's changed?"
Emma looked at August, who was still cross, but he met her eyes. "Mary Marg...Snow...my...mother would have raised me to hear only the good things, heroic rescues and daring deeds. I know her well enough in this version of things, to know this would be true. But then finding out all those things that I know right now, about my mother and well everything, would have just made me think that same darkness was in me. That I was screwed from birth, that it was all fantasy, the rescue mission. That's enough to make anyone give up hope."
August sighed bitterly. "But you already do believe that."
Emma shook her head. "I do. And I see the darkness in everyone in this town. But I already knew about that coming here. The whole world outside here is just the same. It's a hard lesson as a kid, right August?"
August looked at the ground again. Emma looked at Henry. "But when you have started by seeing the bottom and someone comes to show you a better place, that changes things. I can just as easily become the Evil Queen in this realm, once again. But I don't believe that I will be. Not this time. Nothing inspires one to be a better person, like their own son or daughter...right Henry?"
This last part was addressed to Henry Sr. because Emma looked upwards again.
Indeed. Rumplestiltskin and I agreed on that one. It was why I allowed his idea. To give Regina a kid of her own this time around.
A slight laugh came forth from the walls and they vibrated.
Someone who has really turned things around, much better then either of us envisioned. We can't see any of your future, Henry, because you are outside of the curse. You were a big risk. And you have surprised us all, Henry Daniel Mills.
Henry beamed. Emma breathed a sigh of relief. There was a long pause as this settled in. For the first time, since they entered the mines, Emma felt a little less burdened when she breathed.
The second time...shall i go on? It's not quite as bad.
Emma heavily sighed, but nodded weakly.
The second time, you were sent with David. But he soon died of wounds from an attack and you ended up alone. I suggested to Rumplestiltskin that perhaps everyone's memories should disappear too. But this too failed. What wasn't supplied, was filled in on its own, slowly, piece by piece. Rumplestiltskin predicted you would come back on your 28th and you did, even though this time you didn't know why. In fact you merely stumbled into town one night, driving up the highways until you ran out of gas...you had nothing left, no family, no friends, no gas, no money...and you were out of drugs.
Emma cringed. She almost been down that path this time around when she was bit younger.
You decided to throw yourself into the ocean. Regina stopped you.
"Of course she did." Emma sighed.
But not because she knew that your death would restart things. Your lives both sucked. You had nothing, but miserable childhoods and no friends. You actually became friends. This worked well until you started spending time with Mary Margaret also. You had a connection you couldn't possibly understand. And Regina didn't remember her reasons, but the old animosity remained. Things got ugly. You stole money, you left town. You died of a drug overdose two weeks later.
Despite her optimism, Emma still felt like this was worse than remembering old wounds. This was finally seeing that your life always sucked, in this life and in previous ones.
No. This was bad thinking, that would get her nowhere.
She placed her palms against the stone wall, trying to block out the beast, which was becoming increasingly close to the forefront of her mind.
But the this time, the third time was different. I was almost too tired to put much effort in this time. There is an underlying sadness to this version of Storybrooke. People were given fabricated pasts, but they were vague and fuzzy, their motivations unclear. I told Rumpelstiltskin that he better have a better plan and I left him with his memories. The beast countered by giving Regina's hers as well. She felt like a god against a backdrop of clueless townspeople. But this didn't make her happy either.
And this time, the Blue Fairy was also brought in to help. Rumpelstiltskin wasn't pleased, but he allowed it. When she learned that she had already lived through this twice, she made a change that I am pleased to say, may have tipped the scales. She had fought Geppetto before over the spot in the tree and both times before she had prevented him from trying to take it. But this time she let him. I don't know why, but it made all the difference.
"How so? Pinocchio just up and left me alone anyway." Emma muttered her hands still up against the wall. A bit of venom crept into her tone.
"Oh, please Emma not this again!" August pleaded. "How many times does a man have to apologize for a little boy?"
I can answer your question Emma. Henry Sr. cut off Emma's building rage.
Emma relaxed slightly out of curiosity.
How long do you think Pinocchio lasted? As your guardian? Did he ever tell you?
Emma shook her head.
"8 months." August supplied. "Only 8 months."
Ah, but that was 8 months of someone to greet you in the morning, to make funny faces when you cried, to offer to hold you and feed you bottles, who alerted the orphanage attendings to your needs. Am I right, Pinocchio?
"I wouldn't change your diaper though. I made them do that." August added, trying to lighten the mood. "Too smelly."
Emma didn't look up, but she did crack a smile.
8 whole months of love. From someone who expected nothing of you. Who gave you everything you could possibly need, as best he could.
August looked at the ground embarrassed.
And even though he left. He gave you the best gift of all. You knew what love was. You had felt it. And you never quite gave up looking for it. You gave up Henry for the very same reason. To ensure that he always felt the same.
Emma had never looked at it that way before. That those 8 months had been a gift, rather than a betrayal. She looked up at August. He met her gaze slowly. Even in the dim light of his lantern, Emma could see he was crying.
Her anger melted away. The beast retreated. There was no room for it at the moment. Emma's heart swelled with compassion and love for a stupid little 7 year old boy who somehow become a man. Even if only recently. And had come back for her.
Suddenly she was on him. Kissing him, with greater passion than she had felt in a long time. He was startled, but returned it with just as much force. His tears mixed in with the kiss and Emma was fueled forward. Suddenly she couldn't tell which was up or down and her back was pushed against a wall. There was tongue somewhere and...
"If this is going to lead to sex, can you at least wait until I'm NOT right here." Henry interrupted his arms crossed.
Emma opened her eyes and dropped her hands. She blushed as her brain came into focus. Right, Henry.
August gave an embarrassed smile and then dropped his hands too. "Sorry, kiddo."
"Being 10 is so much easier." Henry sighed. "I'm glad I'm only ten."
Actually you're 11.
"What?" Emma shook her head clearing her thoughts.
August looked down at his watch. "12:03 am"
Henry grinned. "I'm 11." Then he frowned. "11." His eyes lost focus.
Emma gave him a worried look.
"Well, come on." His eyes came back into focus. "I'm getting older as we speak and all this mess still happening. We need to fix this, hopefully before I'm 12."
Emma nodded. "I have faith that's doable." She flashed Henry a smile.
She grabbed August's hand and pulled him along. Henry followed and the three of them began the maze back to the surface.
Thank you.
