"Edward, why are we going to La Push?" I question, as soon as I notice the familiar winding road.
It's hardly the weather to go to the beach. Like typical, it's raining buckets in Forks.
"What makes you think we're going to La Push?" He fires back, pursing his lips innocently.
I narrow my eyes at him.
"Don't play dumb Cullen," I warn.
His innocent pout quickly turns into a cheeky smile as he keeps his eyes on the road. He knows I've caught him, and whatever little game he's playing.
"Seriously, why La Push?" I press, turning to face him in my seat.
"You'll see soon enough," He grins, happy with his teasing, vague answers.
I hate you...
True to his word, when we pulled into the overcrowded parking lot, I could see why we were here. My immediate reaction was to cringe, and slowly sink into the leather seat. I knew it was pointless, but I silently prayed I could vanish into thin air.
When I opened my eyes, I was still here, staring at my impending doom.
"Ta-da," Edward cheers, acting oblivious to my obvious discomfort.
"Ta-da?" I repeat, in a monotone voice. "What made you think I would want to go to the end of school party?"
A sick feeling started to boil in my stomach as I looked out at the familiar scene in front of me. It was a day like this when I experienced my first heartbreak. One of the worst feelings I've experienced my whole life.
Why would he bring me back here?
"Well for one it's a party, and two it's a party," He jokes, but I can't find it in me to laugh.
I'm gonna be sick.
"A party with people who either dislike me or I dislike them, yeah sounds like a great idea Cullen," I breathe out.
Jasper and Alice will probably be here.
I've only just started to blank them out of both my mind and real life. But seeing them together, here on this beach again, is sure to stir up old memories. Memories that I really don't want to relive again, not when I've grown so happy with mine and Edwards relationship. The last thing I need right now it to go right back to square one.
"You'll be fine, come on,"
I don't get to reply as Edward quickly gets out of the car and shuts the door before I can respond. Looking towards the beach, I bit down on my lip trying to push back the anxiety bubbling inside of me.
You can do this Bella.
Unlocking the car door, I step out into the rain to join Edward. He grins, walking towards me and taking my hand in this.
"Think of this as closure," He suggests, practically having to pull me along towards the beach.
"I think we both know the real reason you brought me here was so you could get drunk with your friends,"
"I came here to get drunk with my girlfriend." He corrects as we near the crowded beach full of our classmates.
He chuckles, whilst I roll my eyes and let him drag me over to the table littered in mainly cheap beers. Taking a red solo cup Edward hands me, I sip the drink, trying to hold back the wince of distaste for it.
We're teenagers getting ready to go to college, I don't think the alcohol is going to get any better than this.
"There's Rosalie and Emmett," Edward points out.
I follow his eyesight and sure enough there they are. Leaning up against an old fallen tree trunk, talking and laughing to themselves. A part of me is sad that I never got to watch Rose and Emmett's relationship blossom. All the drama got in the way and I never got the chance to have all those girly talks with her about Emmett.
"You wanna go say hi to them?" he questions, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
"I think I'll need a few more of these before I do that," I joke, wiggling my cup in my hand.
"That can be arranged."
A couple anti-social drinks later I'm feeling slightly tipsy, and I can see Edward is off with the fairies. We sit further down the beach by the tide pools that Edward showed me not to long ago. My heart fills with warmth when Edward's arms tighten around my body. I relax against his chest just looking out into the once. Watching the shimmering water reflect the darkening sunset in front of us.
"I don't think I've ever watched the sunset go down before," he mumbles in my ear.
"Then you clearly haven't lived," I teased.
"I suggested it to Leah once," He begins. "But she said it was way too cliche for her."
He chuckles as if remembering something and I try not to be bothered by his and Leah's past. It's a thing I've come to terms with by now.
"I'd have to agree with her, but I kind of like it,"
I grin watching the sunset fall slowly over the horizon. Twilight as Esme once referred to it. Edwards arms pull me closer, and I let my head roll back until it rests on his chest. The moment seemed to pass by too soon, and we were left watching the sky slowly turn dark into night.
"Another drink?" Edward asks a slight slur to his voice.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" I chuckle, twisting in his arms.
"Nope,"
He grins leaning forward and capturing his lips with mine. Slowly he begins to lean back onto the rock until his back is flat and I'm leaning over his body. I pull away, and he gives out an unsatisfied groan. I laugh at the pout on his face before straddling his lap and leaning down to reconnect our lips. He leans up meeting me and forcing my lips apart, causing the kiss to fill with lust and passion. His hands move to my hips slowly inching their way and pulling my top up as he does so.
"You're really beautiful," He mumbles against my lips.
I smile at the compliment, remembering the last time he was drunk, he said exactly the same thing. His lips connect to my neck, sucking and leaving a trail of kisses from my shoulder to my chest.
"Do you have to be drunk in order for me to get a compliment out of you?" I joke.
His finger hooks into the v-neck of my top pulling it down so some of my cleavage and bra is exposed to him. His lips ghost over the rim of my bra, a cheeky, dazed smile on his face when he looks up at me.
"Of course not, you should realize by now that I'd do anything for you," He answers, seriously.
Of course, I still have a small amount of doubt about Edward. Our past speaks for itself, we hardly had an ounce of trust or friendship between us. We've come so far and changed so much, but it's hard to believe that all our past has just been forgotten about.
"Anything?" I question.
"Anything." He grins, giving me a chaste kiss before slumping back onto the rock.
"Tell me why you and Leah broke up?" I question, resting my hands on his chest.
"Haven't we been over this before," He sighs.
"You didn't really tell me the reason why you just said she was angry at you. Why was she angry?"
"Does it matter?"
I bite my lip. "Was it because of your journal?"
I did it, I brought it up. The question that has been haunting me ever since I found that note. What is it about his journal that caused Leah to break up with him? She was furious at him for so long, it must have been something bad.
So bad that even I'm scared to know the truth. Edwards the one good thing I have right now, I'd hate to find out something about him that would push me away.
"What about my journal? What did Leah tell you?" He asks, his happy drunk state removed and in its place a furious glare aimed straight at me.
"Nothing-"
"Then why ask me about it- Did you read it?" He pushes me aside.
I can't hide the hurt in my face as he looks at me with such hatred. It's like I'm looking into the eyes of the old Edward, the one who I despised because of this very reason. This Edward is reckless, uncaring and my worst enemy at times. I didn't want this Edward in my life anymore, I wanted my Edward, the one who always has a cheeky smile on his face around me.
"Of course not," I tell him calmly, standing up with him. "I found the box Leah gave you before your break up. There was a note in there, it mentioned your journal, I just want you to be honest with me and talk to me about it. Tell me the truth, why did you guys break up?"
"It doesn't matter why!"
"Well, it does to me! I've already been in one crappy relationship full of lies, I don't need another one," I snap.
His face is ghostly pale by this point, his chest heaving with every breath he takes, his hands clenched into fists by his sides. I'm glad that we chose to stay further down the beach from the party. The last thing I need is more rumors circling the town about me. The rain pelts down on our already soaked clothes, but at this point, the cold is a welcoming feeling.
"I'm sorry," He mumbled, hanging his head. I breathe out a sigh of relief that he's finally come to his senses. He walks towards me, stumbling slightly on the jagged rock. My relief turns into despair when his shoulder bumps mine and he walks away from me.
"Edward," I call after him.
"I can't," I manage to catch what he said before he carries on trudging down the beach.
Sinking down onto the rocks bellow, I listen to the tide coming in and out. Silent tears caused by my anger pour down my face. I think this beach is cursed, it only seems to bring me heartache everytime I'm here. I regret not chasing after him, apologize for pushing him too far. His journal obviously means a lot to him, which only increases my fear about what he's hiding.
Even with this secret between us, I don't want to lose him.
I can't describe this feeling I have when I'm with him, it's unlike anything I've ever experienced before. My relationship with Jasper lasted two years, yet it seems like a joke compared to what I've felt with Edward these couple weeks. He makes me feel alive again like I'm not alone anymore. He makes me feel loved. Of course, he doesn't love me, but he changed me for the better.
I could feel myself slowly allowing it to happen. Allow my heart to open up to him, to learn to love him even after all the years of hate. In only a few weeks I could feel myself beginning to love him.
Now I don't know what to feel or to think for that matter.
"Bella? What are you doing sitting over here all by yourself?" I am shocked to hear Emmett's voice beside me.
He sits down on the rock beside me, and I'm ashamed to look at him when I'm in such a state. His eyebrows pull together once he sees me, almost as if by instinct he pulls me into his chest.
"You're soaked-" On cue, I shivered from the cold. "And freezing. Wheres Edward?"
Hearing his name I let out a sob, remembering him walking away from me. I hope he can forgive me, maybe once the alcohol is out of his system he will see sense. We can move past this and talk it out like two adults. Who am I kidding its Edward I'm talking about he held a grudge against me for over ten years.
"Nevermind. Come on I'll drive you home, you can't sit out here like this you'll get sick," Emmett didn't need my agreement.
He was built like a bear, so hauling me to my feet wasn't hard, neither was pulling me along. He kept his arm around me and I appreciated the warmth. I don't know how long I sat there crying after Edward left. But by the looks of things the party was beginning to disperse.
We came to the parking lot and of course, Edward Volvo was nowhere in sight, neither was he. I guess it's a good thing I've started to try and talk to Emmett and Rose again, otherwise, I would be walking.
Emmett opens the back door and I crawl inside fully aware I am running his seats with my clothes.
"Bella?" Rosalie's voice is full of concern. I look up to see her peeking around the passenger seat when she sees me a small gasp escapes her lips. "What-"
"Don't Rose, let's just get her home," Emmett cuts her off.
I silently thank Emmett for that, I couldn't have answered even if I wanted too. Pulling out my phone from my back pocket I check to see if there are any messages or miss calls. There aren't. I hit call when I come across his name. With each ring my heart pumps a little faster, only to shatter when it goes to voicemail. I decided not to leave one and instead tried again, but this time it goes straight to voicemail.
He's purposefully ignoring me. All because I brought up that stupid journal.
The ride was quite, just the way I wanted it. Even when we pulled up outside my house and I got out in silence. They didn't question, didn't follow, or force me to answer them. They just let me go, which I am very thankful for. I needed time alone to think, I don't want to lose him, but I won't be in a relationship again with secrets. There's only one way those relationships end and I don't want that for us. We have something special between us. I can only hope that Edward feels the same way, and doesn't let this break us apart.
A/N
I know I don't update a lot and then when I do I give you such a depressing chapter. I'm sorry! It's the plot's fault blame it, not me. So Bella has brought up the journal and of course, Edward got a bit over the top defensive about it. Okay, lets be real he lost his shit. Will he reveal all to save their relationship, or will it all be over before it's even begun?
We shall see ;)
Honestly, I want to thank you all for sticking around. This book was written on a whim and is filled with plot holes, random moments even I don't know why I wrote. This thing is over 2 years old, and I can barely remember what I've written in some parts. For some reason, there are some of you who love this so I will continue it until the end. I've written 131, 321 words in this book, so why stop now? (No joke literally that amount of words *_*) Thank you for your patience, and continuing support!
Hope you enjoyed! 'With great power come's great responsibility.'
Ps: Who is your favorite superhero?
