[2104]
So sorry for the lack of any kind of updates, I have lots of excuses, but school and work (and laziness/procrastination) are the prevailing factors. I'm working at a prawn plant this summer, and doubt that anybody wants to see how I can mix prawns and Decepticons, so updates will only come when I don't have nightmares about prawns for several days in a row.
This is part of my "Human Element AU," meaning that Soundwave, Ravage, Rumble, and Frenzy are learning how to be human via holoforms to better infiltrate the Autobots.
[PoV Character]
[Name]:bond talk:
"Spoken aloud"
-.-.-.-P.o.V.-.o.r.-.T.i.m.e.-.C.h.a.n.g.e.-.-.-
[Laserbeak]
She had been stuck onboard the Ark for nearly a year now, and was more than ready to get the frag out of the Autobot's damn vents. She could navigate undetected through them while in stasis at this point, and while her occasional talks with Bluestreak did wonders for her boredom (and sanity) and her siblings always made sure to talk to her or simply share what they were doing at least once a day, she was going to go crazy.
Laserbeak grumbled quietly, shifting from where she sat in her own small monitor room. It was hidden in a small room she'd painstakingly carved out above the Dinobot's caverns. That way it was in an area no Bots enjoyed coming to, and it was protected by rock and naturally found minerals that interfered with scanners. The tunnel she'd carved to her room linked directly to the ventilation system, so the chances of being seen by an Autobot were practically non-existent.
Laserbeak had set up cameras in almost every single room aboard the Ark within three months of arriving, and the data collected streamed directly via cable (not wirelessly, that would be far too easy for an Autobot to accidentally intercept) to Laserbeak's own personal command center aboard the Ark. On a random day of every week she would transfer all the data collected to an external drive, hide the drive in a small secret subspace pocket (one inaccessible to everyone without her family's spark signature), and meet one of the Elite Trine at a pre-determined rendezvous, set up via Soundwave and Laserbeak's sparkbond. When she returned to her command center she'd wait until Soundwave confirmed that the data was complete and ready to be reviewed before deleting it from her command center's memory banks.
Of course, the rooms that she'd not dared to enter were fairly important, and the reason she was still stuck here and not celebrating complete Decepticon victory. The Autobot officers' rooms, as well as the "war room" and Red Alert's personal monitor room and Prowl's "tactical room" were all checked on a monthly, weekly, and sometimes daily basis depending on Red Alert's mood, and only Prowl, Jazz, and Red Alert were allowed to sweep the rooms. They checked everywhere. They'd have definitely noticed a camera and extra wire, or even just an extra wire.
Additionally, Wheeljack's "Room of Invention" was also lacking a camera. He usually managed to take them out whenever his carefully created explosions went off.
It had taken Laserbeak a while to figure out how the frag one of the Autobot's most competent engineers consistently managed to set off ground shaking explosions.
He did it on purpose.
Prowl and Jazz had planned it, and while it irritated the living spark out of Ratchet it was a surprisingly good plan.
Whenever something exploded, or just barely seemed to work, it boosted the humans' confidence. They saw an advanced creature that'd lived for longer than their disgusting planet had existed making mistakes that they could help fix, and instead of thinking "golly this is kind of suspicious" they thought "oh my god I need to help this idiot stop making terrible equipment and accidentally exploding things." While this was, admittedly, a train of thought more suitable to their continued survival, since the malfunctions and explosions were occasionally rather important and large, it meant that, in order for any kind of surveillance equipment to survive in the "Room of Invention" it had to be capable of either:
A) surviving consistent explosions and technical malfunctions of varying severity and size;
B) being so cheap and easy to create that it could be replaced after every incident.
Since those two options were rather contradictory with each other, Laserbeak was stuck with normal cameras and equipment that she only used when she thought Wheeljack was going to be making something important that wouldn't explode/malfunction.
It happened less often that one might think.
-.-.-.M.e.a.n.w.h.i.l.e.-.-.-
[Soundwave]
"We gotta get Beaky up here, Boss."
Soundwave looked at Frenzy over the top of his newspaper, letting the pair of (ironically) blue and gold reading glasses Rebecca had bought him for his "birthday" slide down his nose so he could peer over them. It's oddly satisfying.
"She's bored out of her processor, Boss. It's starting to leak through our blocks."
Soundwave frowned and concentrated inwards, surprised to find that Frenzy was correct. The blocks they all instinctively had up for protection and privacy had survived ambushes and combat scenarios, (they even held steady that one time Soundwave had to seduce someone) the fact that Laserbeak's boredom was leaking through while she was on-mission was incredibly worrying.
Soundwave sighed and put his newspaper down. He could work on the crossword later.
-.-.-.A.r.k.s.i.d.e.-.-.-
[Laserbeak]
Laserbeak was contemplating irritating Bluestreak into helping her set up another prank. He was always so worried he'd get caught, but as long as he was helping her with petty things like pranks then he was simultaneously underestimating how far she'd gotten into the Ark's security and helping her keep from blowing her cover just for something to do.
[Soundwave]: Laserbeak. Status?:
Laserbeak huffed, momentarily irritated that her potential plans had been foiled, before she registered who she was talking to.
[Laserbeak]: Soundwave! I'm so fragging bored you have no idea pleasegetmeoutofhereimsobored.:
-.-.-.A.g.a.i.n.-.M.e.a.n.w.h.i.l.e.-.-.-
[Soundwave]
This was very concerning. Laserbeak actually sounded a little unstable. Perhaps a "vacation" (as much as anyone could have a vacation during a civil war) was required for Laserbeak… but who to replace her with? The information she was gathering was invaluable, and the post had to be full-time in order to maintain the cameras and equipment and to keep an optic on the Bots that didn't have cameras in the rooms they spent the most time in.
They also had to be able to avoid Jazz and Prowl. That was the man reason Soundwave's creations were always chosen for Ark infiltrations, they were the only ones that could consistently avoid those two.
Additionally, Jazz and Prowl were terrifying and not many of the minicons were willing to be that close to them for any period of time. Across a battlefield was usually as close as they wanted to get, something that, while completely understandable, was also very frustrating.
[Soundwave]: Replacement. Will meet you at the next rendezvous. Replacement. Will accompany Laserbeak back to the Ark. Laserbeak. Will train replacement until satisfied with continued mission security and success.:
Now, who could Soundwave send to the Ark that wouldn't botch the mission…
-.-.-.S.e.v.e.r.a.l.-.S.e.c.o.n.d.s.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.-
[Buzzsaw]
[Buzzsaw]: You've got to be kidding me.:
[Soundwave]: Soundwave. Does not "kid".:
[Buzzsaw]: You're sending me to replace Laserbeak onboard the Ark for an unknown period of time because you're concerned for her sanity.:
[Soundwave]: Affirmative.:
[Buzzsaw]: You're sending me to replace Laserbeak because you're worried for her sanity? Laserbeak is, after Ravage, the least likely to go insane. The fact that she apparently nearly is insane is worrying enough, but you're sending me in to replace her? What about my sanity?:
The pause in conversation is enough to make Buzzsaw nervous.
[Soundwave]: Buzzsaw. Only option. Buzzsaw. Fits all requirements.:
[Buzzsaw]: What requirements?:
[Soundwave]: Small enough to fit in Ark ventilation system.
Small enough to fit in tunnels dug by Laserbeak.
Stealthy enough to avoid all Autobot officers.
Skilled enough to keep tabs on all Autobot officers.
Smart enough to know when to monitor Wheeljack.
Unafraid of monitoring Ark while Prowl and Jazz are present.
Sparkbonded with Decepticon outside of Ark to set up rendezvous.
Capable of travelling distance to rendezvous and back to Ark quickly and undetected.:
[Buzzsaw]: That's an impressive list, Boss.:
[Soundwave]: Affirmative.:
[Buzzsaw]: Since I can feel how bad off Laserbeak is… I'll do it.
[Soundwave]: Rendezvous information sent. Good luck.:
-.-.-.T.w.o.-.a.n.d.-.a.-.H.a.l.f.-.W.e.e.k.s.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.-
[Laserbeak]
Freedom. Laserbeak revelled in the feeling of wind ghosting over her wings, knowing that she didn't have to return to the Ark until Soundwave reassigned her. Hopefully that wouldn't be for a good long while.
Laserbeak had spent the last two weeks walking Buzzsaw through her finely tuned schedule. He'd been impressed, to say the least.
Bluestreak thought that, because Laserbeak was leaving, that there would be no more Decepticons monitoring them until she returned. Silly Bluestreak.
Now Laserbeak was flying, not back to the Nemesis, but to some remote Canadian city/town not too far north from the Ark. It should only take her an hour or two to fly there. Then she'd be able to relax.
-.-.-.1.5.-.H.o.u.r.s.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.- (1.5 hours, not 15)
[Soundwave]
"I have to what?"
Soundwave sighed and looked up (and wasn't that a weird feeling) at Laserbeak to meet her optics.
"Laserbeak. Must create human holoform. Laserbeak. Must learn to blend in with humans."
Laserbeak growled. "You've got to be kidding me."
Soundwave wisely suspected that a deadpan response of "Soundwave. Does not kid." would not be appreciated right now. Instead he decided it would be best to go with a direct, if slightly unorthodox approach.
"Laserbeak. Will learn how to live outside of warzone."
That gave his creation a pause. She peered down at him, "What?"
Soundwave allowed his holoform to grin, a tiny, nearly unnoticeable grin, but it caught Laserbeak's attention and she stared in surprise. "Human life here. Peaceful." Soundwave ignored his memories of Ravage's birthday party with a determination he usually only had to utilize when captured by the more competent Autobot officers. "Human life. Surprising. Break from war. Break from Decepticon politics. Break from Autobots."
Laserbeak settled down, bringing her optics to the level of the eyes on Soundwave's holoform. "You're serious. You actually like this assignment don't you?"
Soundwave shrugged, another tiny motion that caught Laserbeak's attention. "Human life here. Peaceful."
She hesitated, looking at Soundwave's real form and eyeing it with concern. "Fine, but I won't have to become some stupid human ground transportation will I? That's a bit much."
Internally Soundwave cheered. "Negative."
-.-.-.U.n.s.p.e.c.i.f.i.e.d.-.A.m.o.u.n.t.-.o.f.-.T.i.m.e.-.L.a.t.e.r.-.-.-
[Frenzy]
Having Laserbeak around and watching her simultaneously relax and fumble about as a human was way more amusing than previously anticipated. Her holoform was registered as three years younger than Rumble and Frenzy's, which meant that she had to go to school. Luckily Soundwave had fabricated some elaborate backstory for Laserbeak about her being a long lost daughter of his, one that he somehow didn't know about until recently, magically discovered, and then subsequently adopted.
For some reason, nobody questioned it.
Soundwave, of course, was now getting hit on by even more creepy ladies (and even some guys) because telling people how they "got" Laserbeak apparently made him "sooooo adorable" and "such a charming family man" and meant that Rumble and Frenzy were almost immediately grounded for the foreseeable future because they couldn't stop laughing.
Before her first day of school Laserbeak lurked around the building at night and scoped it out. The first night was spent finding entry points, possible escape route, ambush sites, and good places to hide. She spent an entire week trying to get into the school's ventilation system, only to find that there wasn't one and that there was instead a surprising amount of space in the ceiling. She can now, if she's careful, navigate the width of the school without being seen or heard.
Everyone was incredibly glad that they got Laserbeak out of the Ark. This level of paranoia was concerning, albeit a tad amusing. Additionally, Rumble and Frenzy now knew all the best places to set up pranks in the school, and nobody would suspect them since they'd already graduated.
Laserbeak's holoform was named Lawrence. The spelling weirded some people out, but when it showed up next to names like Ruth, Ferris, and Rhen most people just shrugged and moved on. Some idiot in one of Laserbeak's classes made a smart-aft comment about it on her first day of school, but Laserbeak "accidentally" punched his lights out during gym class and got suspended for a week.
Laserbeak is now given a wide berth in the school's hallways, something that she's inordinately pleased about.
Rebecca took it all in stride and asked Laserbeak to teacher her how to punch like that.
Laserbeak also nearly managed to acquire a criminal record during her first week. Her real form's alt-mode is now a fancy laptop, one that she carries around in a backpack wherever she goes. Some idiot tried to steal it while she was out walking, and she broke both his arms. Thankfully a nice old lady saw the whole thing and told the police off, then offered to teach Laserbeak how to knit.
Soundwave now had a blue and gold scarf to match his reading glasses.
Thoughts? Grammatical errors?
I love this AU, what do y'all think about me putting all the one-shots from this into their own story?
