Chapter Forty-Eight: Reconnect

I couldn't contain my grin when I saw him, despite the surroundings. Everything else melted away in the moment as I watched him come towards me, stop, then wait for me to approach. We met somewhere in the middle. And it felt like I was reunited with a part of myself.

For the longest time I didn't let him go. I just hugged him tight and held on hard, just like he did me. It was a way for both of us to say to one another just what we'd been through in the past four weeks, without saying anything at all. I inhaled his scent as I buried my face in his shoulder above his armor, and I nearly lost my composure then and there. It was getting harder and harder for me to hold onto lately.

Finally I glanced up. His lips immediately met mine in a surging kiss that was somehow both tame and emotional, all at once. I kissed him back, thankfully remembering myself in time as I pulled back when it was over. But we didn't loosen our hold on each other just yet.

"Hi, Cooper," he said softly.

"Hi."

"I've missed you."

"Me, too. So much."

We pulled back a little more and our eyes met, both of us clearly wanting more, but aware that we couldn't do that here. And it was obvious - from him and probably from me, too - that more needed to be said that couldn't be uttered in front of an audience.

Eventually I let go and said, "Come on. Let's go someplace more quiet. And less packed."

My husband looked around again, taking in the bustle of the area. Then he nodded. "All right."

As I'd done with Ethan, I went over to Staff Sergeant Lynch and told him to give us a few minutes. Now that the city was secure, it was a lot less risky to get some distance from my security detail than it'd been earlier. I was glad to have this time to ourselves, however short it might be.

We stopped walking when we neared a street divider a little further out. It had a small patch of grass with a tree in the middle that seemed the perfect place to take a quick break. I thought it must've been a nice thing to have before the invasion. Now, half the tree was scorched black on one side, missing branches and leaves and a good chunk of its canopy. Still, it was some small specter of natural beauty in this place to hold onto.

I sat down on the ground and stretched my legs out in front of me, knees bent a little as I draped my arms over them casually. Close by but out of earshot, we could still see the corner of the mess tent from here, so we weren't outside the perimeter. That made it all the more safe to be here. I liked the spot's rare combination of security and privacy.

Willis sat down next to me and positioned himself almost the same way to my left. I'd wanted to see him for weeks, but now that he was finally here, I was having a hard time trying to figure out where to start - what to say. There'd been so much that had occurred in such a short time that I hadn't had a second to process much myself, let alone explain it all to someone else. But he seemed to understand this and released a small sigh before scooting closer, our sides touching. I finally let myself relax a bit and leaned over, resting my head on his shoulder as I briefly closed my eyes.

"Looks like you guys fought a helluva battle here, Coop," he said. "I still can't believe you did this."

"A lot of people say things like 'blood, sweat, and tears', but it really took all that to get what you see now," I responded, opening my eyes then and sitting up straight again. "It's definitely been no picnic down here."

"Wasn't upstairs, either."

"I know. We heard."

From the moment I'd heard his voice on the general channel, I'd wanted to ask how it was that he came to be the 87th Air Wing's commander. But seeing him in person now, up close, I already knew. I was positive Major Erin Collins was dead.

Still, I had to ask to confirm. "Your command...?"

My husband shook his head, staring down at the grass. "Collins was killed when the nuke went off." Then he suddenly glanced over at me. "That man and his kids you were talking to just now? Where was the mother?"

It was my turn to hesitate and avoid his gaze. Finally I released a long, tired sigh. "Dead. I found them in an apartment building hallway, huddled around each other. The two little girls were bleeding and nearly passed out by their mom's body, and the dad was just...hysterical." I swallowed. "Both kids had been shot in the head. It was touch and go for a while there for them, but they're recovering well now since Reynolds patched them up. I think they'll be okay." Physically, at least was left unsaid. "I saw them and their dad eating in the mess tent a few minutes ago and wanted to see how they were doing."

The news was so grim on both sides that neither of us replied after that. The silence in between was more burnt-out and weary than uncomfortable. I had the sense that both of us had reached some sort of limit with the tragedy, some level of emotion we couldn't go beyond from here without going completely numb.

I hated to bring it up, but had to ask. "We heard your unit lost a lot of pilots. How many?"

Willis ran his hand over his light brown hair and answered quickly, "Two squadrons."

"My God." I shut my eyes tight as I pinched the bridge of my nose. The number of dead in orbit couldn't possibly rival those we'd lost on the ground - mostly civilians - but it sure wasn't a number you could look past.

"What about here? How many made it out?"

"Six hundred eighty thousand people," I responded. "Out of nine hundred-kay."

"Over two hundred thousand dead," my husband whispered. "Jesus Christ."

"Yeah. It was bad. I wish..." I swallowed for the second time. "I wish I could have done more."

He looked at me then, getting my attention by placing his hand on mine. The touch was comforting. "You've got it all wrong, Natalie. I don't think anyone else could have done as much as you did. You're the reason so many people survived."

I snorted. "Tell that to the girls' mother."

The quiet crept in again and kept us in our own minds for a while, possibly contemplating the level of horror the other had gone through. I certainly was with Willis. He eventually broke the unbearable silence.

"And my little brother?"

"He's alive, and doing as good as can be expected. He lost more than a couple of squadmates, and we all know how hard that can be."

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Damn. Poor kid. I'll have to talk to him when I see him."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

I turned to face him and raised an eyebrow. "You just inherited a whole air wing. How is that...how are you feeling?"

I was expecting him to say any number of things I'd felt when I'd found myself in his shoes over the years - overwhelmed, nervous, determined. Instead, he blew out a breath and shook his head.

"I don't know, Coop." He swallowed this time. "To be honest, I don't know if I even want this. All I've ever wanted to be was a pilot. Taking on a squadron or two over the years seemed natural once I had the experience, sure, but this...this is a lot more responsibility than I'd ever want."

I steadily held his gaze. "But it's yours," I stated plainly. "Like it or not, want it or not, it is your command now." To me, it was clear as day. Nothing else, no other possibility. I couldn't understand what he meant by wanting it, as if he had a choice. "Those pilots look to you now, Will. You have to lead them."

He let out a humorless chuckle and shook his head again. "It's not that simple, honey."

"It is. You can't be thinking of leaving them high and dry when they just lost their leader and two squadrons of fellow flyboys and friends. Willis, you can't do that to them - "

"Cooper, I'm not like you. This is...new territory for me. And it's not something that comes naturally. Flying does." He leaned forward to grasp his ankles with his hands, lost in the conversation. "It's one of the only things that's ever made sense for me. You and flying. Not leading. Not...being a commander of anything."

"But you already are one," I pressed. "Kilo and Victor Squadrons? Those have been yours for a while now. And you lead them very well. Add that to being the ace pilot I know you are, and it sounds to me like you've got the perfect CSV to be in charge."

He glanced over at me, uncertain. "You think so?"

I smiled faintly. "I know so." Then I found myself with a wicked smirk on my face. "There's two things you're exceedingly good at, honey. One is in the cockpit, and the other's in bed."

That got a genuine guffaw from him this time. "Okay. If you say so, Coop." He leaned in close and whispered, "You're not so bad yourself at that last one, you know."

His words sent a delicious shiver through me, but there was still way too much to get done for anything like that to happen for a while. Secure city or no, there was still a lot to wrap up here in Charleston. And after that came Savannah, in Georgia. The sudden thought sobered me and I released a sigh.

"Come on," I said, beginning to get up. "I think we've lingered here long enough. You need to get back to your pilots and start evacing the civvies who're mobile. And I need to - "

I paused as my helmet crackled in my hand, and I looked down at it only to realize someone was trying to hail me. Worried something new had come up, I shoved the bucket on my head fast and answered, "This is Colonel Cooper, go ahead."

"Natalie. It's me."

Ethan. I frowned. "Yeah? What's going on? Did something happen?"

He chuckled on the other end. "Well, I guess that depends on your definition."

Growling into the COM, I said, "Ethan, I don't have time for games. Tell me. Now."

"All right. Major Delaney wanted me to let you know that we've finished mopping up the area here in the outskirts. And that the 904th Battalion and I are on our way into the city as we speak, as you ordered."

"ETA?" I asked.

"Shouldn't be too much longer now. Maybe ten minutes."

"Acknowledged. Cooper out."

I cut the connection before my ex wasted even more of my time. I'd gotten the information I needed and that was all the interaction I ever wanted to have with him again.

Although that was probably just wishful thinking on my part, as we still had Georgia to go through and clear out after this. I massaged my temples for a moment before looking at Willis once more, finally glancing over to see that his mouth had gone into a thin, tight line.

"Was that him?" he asked in a controlled tone.

I nodded. "Yeah." I pulled off my helmet and took in a breath, then continued, "Will, there's something you need to know."

My husband's gorgeous hazel eyes narrowed, and I almost felt like he'd read me before I'd even spoken a word.

"What?" he ground out.