I'm back with an update and it only took me two weeks! You should be proud of me! And it's also long and full over everything, which means you should reward me with a review because I really just want to break 1500 by the time this fic is over, which by the way, is within 10 - 12 chapters from now. I've always said that reviews are what keeps me going. I think that's a decent enough amount of time to give it to end. I feel like everyone is tired of it by now, and I have other ideas to pursue, and i want this story to end while it's still good. I'll try to update again soon, but seeing in order for me to write these days it involves losing sleep, we'll see what happens. So here we are, enjoy and don't forget to leave a review! :)


She'd given House a month to change his mind. After two weeks, she was relieved to discover that he had no intention to do so what so ever. She made an appointment with her lawyer about searching for an infant to adopt, elated when they were easily accommodated for the start of the New Year.

"I have various adoption files here. There are files for infants who have already been born, and there are the files of infants who are still in the womb. With the cases where the child has yet to be born, you would most likely meet with the biological parents, because majority of the time they want to know who they are essentially giving their child to." Alison Vargas, Cuddy's close friend, and lawyer for over twenty years stated as she pulled several files from her briefcase.

"We prefer to not have to meet the biological parents." Cuddy replied on behalf of herself and House. They had both agreed that they didn't want to meet the parents of the child they would take in and raise as their own. She didn't want to meet them because she didn't know how she would react to meeting a person who would willingly give their child up for someone else to raise, when she herself was never granted the opportunity to have a child of her own. Aside from that, she didn't want to there to be a chance of a recurrence in history. The first time she had attempted to adopt, she had met with the birthmother, and things had progressively turned against her. She didn't want to be so close to something that she wanted so badly, only to have it ripped away from her again. House on the other hand didn't want to meet the parents because he simply didn't care enough about them to want to waste his time with them.

"I do have several cases where the biological parents do wish to remain anonymous as well. Let me be more specific though, are you looking to adopt a child who has already been born, or one that is still in the womb?"

"Still in the womb." House replied from her side, sitting up in his chair. "We need some time to set up a room, get the essentials needed for taking care of babies, all that stuff."

They had started discussing the possibility of moving into a bigger house just a few days earlier. They had spent the last two years living in her house, spending the occasional weekends at his apartment as a getaway, but with their new addition it would mean that there would no longer be a guest room in the house, and although she would be grateful for an excuse to not have her mother over, she knew that they would need to expand their living conditions to accommodate the new arrival.

"Well regardless, the adoption process could take up to several weeks. Even so, you would be able to foster the child before adopting, as Lisa did with Rachel. Is that something you would be able to do?" Alison questioned, shuffling through some of the files on her desk.

"Of course. We want to be able to have our child with us as soon as possible. We don't want to miss any moment of his or her life, especially in the beginning, when everything is so memorable… How long do you think we would have to wait to be able to adopt?" Cuddy asked, anxiously wringing her hands.

She knew that the adoption process could take up to two years before they could possibly be able to take a newborn home. With Rachel it was under different circumstances. She had literally saved her from the terrible life she would have had had she not found her and taken her in from the homeless family that had taken her in.

"Not very long; I have specific cases set aside for you that the circumstances allow for the child to be placed into the perspective adoptive family's home within a week of being born. Not to mention that your credentials allow your home study to be conducted as soon as possible, although I'm sure that there will be nothing wrong with it. You may be new parents by March at latest."

"Wow."

"Mhm. Now, unless you have any questions, there's nothing left to discuss. These are the files I have for you. Take as long as you want making your decision, although I'm sure that regardless of how long it takes you to make it, you're not going to regret it. Your decision with adopting your daughter was spur of the moment and it turned out fantastically."

"I don't have any questions. Do you House?" Cuddy asked, taking the files Alison was holding out to her and slipping them into her bag.

"Nope, none at all." He replied, standing from his seat and extending a hand to Alison. "Pleasure doing business with you Vargas."

Cuddy smiled at his attempt at politeness, watching as Alison responded.

"The pleasure was mine Dr. House. Anything to help an old friend."

"I'll see you around Ali." Cuddy replied, reaching out to shake her hand as well. "I'll give you a call once we've made a decision."

"Looking forward to it." Alison replied, giving them a wave before they turned and exited.


They were lying in bed together, fully clothed, after having met with the lawyer. Normally House would have had a problem with being in bed with his wife and not being naked, but in this case he was fine with it. She currently had one leg crossed over the other as he laid beside her, propping himself up on an elbow as they went through the files of adoption cases they had been given earlier in the day. There were over ten files, with birthmothers of diverse races, and due dates of ranging from as soon as two weeks from the current point in time, to four months.

"Do you care what sex we end up adopting?" He heard her ask from beside him as they went over the current file together. The birthmother's name was Gemma Altman, a student from the northern portion of the state who was incapable of raising a child on her own. She was due to give birth to a boy in the middle of February.

"I mean, we already have Rachel, so why don't we adopt a boy?"

"Okay, good, because that's what I want as well. I mean, we'd have the perfect family. Us, a son, a daughter, and the dog, the prime example of what a family should look like."

"Nothing is perfect Cuddy, you more than anyone should know that seeing as you're married to me, the epitome of imperfect."

"See, but that's where you're wrong. You're perfectly imperfect. Your flaws make you human, they make you who you are, and I wouldn't be in love with you if it weren't for them."

"So are you saying you only love me because of my flaws?" He questioned raising an eyebrow accusingly.

"God no, you know I love you because you fulfill my raging libido." She replied teasingly before turning to face him. "But seriously, we're as close to perfect as we can get. I'm happy with the life we have, and I know I'll be happy with the life we're going to have with our new addition, whoever he ends up coming from."

"Okay, just making sure you aren't insane, believing things to be perfect when they're not."

He took the pile of files from beside her and sorted them, pushing the files of mothers who were giving birth to females aside and leaving the files of mothers who were giving birth to males within their reach. There were three files of mothers giving birth to sons, including the one they had currently been reviewing.

"Guess this makes our choice a lot simpler." He said as he reached for one of the two files between them as Cuddy continued to read the first one.

"Maybe it does. Or maybe it doesn't. It depends on the situations those too makes or breaks a file. Like for instance, this Gemma, she's an extremely intelligent girl, she's trying to get her bachelor of fine arts in technical theatre, but she's not ready to have a child. She's got no history what so ever of any sort of drug abuse, or any misdemeanor on her record."

"This one was on meth before she found out she was knocked up, has a battery charge, and dropped out of high school. Says here she was gang affiliated as well."

"See what I mean? And let's not forget that we would be paying some of this woman's medical expenses to be able to adopt her child. God knows how much more expensive it would be to help her out than to help this one out. I mean I know we can afford it, but do we really want to adopt the child of an ex-drug addict?"

"You seem to be forgetting that the child we're adopting is going to be raised by an ex-drug addict." He stated simply, implying no emotion at all in his tone of voice.

"Oh my god, House, don't take it the negative way. I'm so sorry, it slipped my mind. This is different though –"

"It's not different though. I'm a drug addict. We both know that. I relapsed a little over two months ago Cuddy. After a year and a half of being sober, I relapsed. What does the mother being an ex-drug addict have to do with anything? She stopped the drug use after she found out she was pregnant, clearly she's smart enough to actually care about her kid if she stopped, especially since she knows she's not cut out to be a parent and is giving him up for adoption. The fact that she was a user has nothing to do with that. She's actually doing something by making sure that kid gets a home where the parents can take care of him because she can't. You're being a hypocrite."

"No, it is different. You used drugs as a pain reliever. What pain does meth relieve? None, it's not a pain reliever. It's a recreational drug, which you and I both know, even without having looked at the file that was used for the high and nothing else. God knows what she could have done when she was high. Does she even know who the father is?"

"Since when are you so judgmental? I could have sworn the first time you were trying to adopt the mother had been on meth as well, only she was a little more stable."

He was noticeably annoyed, and he could see that he was getting to her as well, but there was nothing he hated more than her rare moments of hypocrisy. She was usually the least judgmental person he knew, but the rare times she let that side of her show and it was something that they disagreed on it was a struggle for him to keep his mouth shut. He'd done it may times before in the past but this was one of the times where he couldn't simply sit back and listen without saying his true opinion.

"And how did that work out? She wasn't even deep into trouble and she ended up changing her mind and keeping the baby to give herself a reason to change herself for the better. What if we choose the file you have and she does the same exact thing? I don't want to go through that again. You saw how I was the first time House. You knew how badly I took it because it was something I wanted so badly and it was taken from me. Both of us want it this time. This time I have you here and you want it too, and I don't want to take a risk that will hurt us both. I don't want that to happen to us, because I don't want you to feel that pain."

He was watching her as she took a deep breath to calm herself, seeing that she had clearly never gotten over the betrayal of having her first perspective adoption taken from her.

"You're not seeing the good things that happened because of that though. If I'm not mistaken, wasn't that what lead to you being able to adopt Rachel? And look how happy you are with her. Who knows how different the last few years would have turned out to be if that had gone the way you had it planned."

"That led to our first kiss." She said softly as she ran a hand through her hair, her face still red from her anger and her bottom lip quivering.

He could tell that she was on the verge of tears, something that usually occurred out of frustration during their heated arguments.

"You're right. We probably wouldn't even be sitting here right now if that hadn't happened. There's a chance I could have been with someone else right now and most likely regretting it because before that kiss even happened I knew that I was in love with you. One little thing can make a significant difference in someone's life, and that adoption falling through might have just been the best thing to have happened to me, but I didn't realize it until now… I'm sorry." She replied, burying her head in her hands.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling her into him before rolling his eyes. He could never understand how one moment she could go from completely flaming to sentimental and emotional the next. He hated to admit it but having her breakdown after their argument and holding her against him made his anger fade. He hated to be the cause of her stress outside the workplace, and even though he knew she was probably reliving the anxiety she felt the first time she was adopting, he chose to use it against her in a sense that would break her down.

He rubbed his hand against her back as she pressed her forehead against her knees, her arms wrapped around them and her head leaning on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for being an asshole. I just wanted to vent some frustration over the situation and you said some things that pissed me off, but I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It was my fault. It's fine. Let's just move passed this and get onto the last file okay?"

She replied looking up and running a hand over her face and reaching beside her to grab the last file.

He was surprised that she didn't pull away from him; he could feel the tenseness in her shoulders that was still present even after they had both apologized. Sometimes their arguments ended with apologies but there would still be some anger left over that they tried to hide unsuccessfully.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she opened the file to the first page, which contained a picture of the mother and all of her information.

"She's very pretty." He heard Cuddy murmur from beside him.

He had to agree, she was definitely the most attractive of the three choices, with dark raven hair and grey eyes. She reminded him a lot of what Cuddy looked like when they had first met all those years ago at Michigan.

"She is. Look, there's a picture of the father too." He replied, flipping the page to a picture of a young man no older than twenty – three in a full military uniform. "Says here he was killed in Afghanistan about two months ago; the mother can't raise the child on her own, according to this it says his family denies the child is his because they weren't married and they're religious nuts."

"Leave it to God worshipping ones to end up forcing a woman into giving her child up for adoption so that they can live out an easy life with stable parents when she's unable to provide that for her child because they refuse to help her."

"Reasons why I don't believe in organized religion."

"Or religion in general." She countered.

"That too. You can pick the file. It doesn't matter to me as long as we get a healthy kid."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter to you. Don't give me that bullshit House. You're just trying to please me after that argument. You pick."

"I like this one best."

"Okay, so do I."

"Well I guess picking was easier than it we thought it would be…"

"Yeah… I'll call Alison in the morning, have her set up everything that needs to be done."

"Sounds like a plan."


"You and House having some problems?" Chase said as he entered the room.

Cuddy looked up from the magazine she was reading, an attempt to keep herself entertained as she went through another round of chemo.

"How can you tell?" She asked sighing, as she dropped the magazine onto the table beside her and pulled her feet up into a chair.

"He's crankier than usual, he's having us do his bidding for him instead of bothering you himself."

She shook her head. Whenever they had an argument that hadn't blown over, they would always try their hardest to avoid each other at work. At home they acted as if nothing was wrong, but at work, where they weren't constantly together was where they let it show.

"We're going through a rough patch… We got into this argument the other night…We're trying to adopt a baby boy, and we were going through the files of the birth mothers, and House had found a file of a mother who was an ex-addict, and I had said I didn't want to take that case because the chances were she would change her mind and say she wanted to keep the baby to help better herself, and that because she was an ex-addict the expenses would be even more. I was insensitive and I completely forgot about his Vicodin abuse. It just got heated and one thing led to another and we were both pissed off and I was frustrated. We did end up apologizing to each other, but it's still been off…"

"I would say just give it some time to blow over, but since it's you two, I don't think that will work very well. You'll both just shut each other out instead of talking to one another about what's going on. Just talk to him about it, even if he's unresponsive. You'll wear him down eventually. It's obvious that you mean a lot to him, even if he tries to hide it."

"See, you're so good with this advice. I don't understand how you know so much."

"It's because I learned from my mistakes with Cameron. When we had problems, they were resolved faster if we talked them out. If we didn't then we would shut each other out. The entire reason she even left me in the first place was because she wanted to know what was going out and I shut her out. I completely shut down when she tried to bring up the situation, and that ended badly."

"Did you listen to me by the way? Is she coming back to see you?"

She watched as Chase's expression lit up and smiled at the sudden change in the mood of the room.

"She is. She's flying down two weeks from Saturday. I'm going to pick her up from the airport and we're going out to dinner and then see what happens from there. "

"That's great Chase. Let me know what happens."

"Only if you promise not to tell House." He replied.

"I promise." She lied, putting on her winning smile.

"You're lying to me." He retorted, knowingly raising an eyebrow at her fib.

"I'm married to the biggest liar of all, you should know by now that everybody lies."

"Yeah, you're right. But seriously, I'll let you know what happens." He answered, standing to leave.

"Thanks for the talk, it really helped." She responded, waving as he walked towards the door.

"Anytime, it's like collateral. I listen to you, you listen to me. I'll see you around Cuddy."

"Bye Chase."

Several hours later she was in bed, curled up reading. She had gone home alone; House had been assigned a case and needed to stay a few hours to work on it. She hated the nights when he stayed late, especially if things between them weren't the best. Even if they were fighting, she felt safer with him beside her. He was so protective of her regardless of their status, whether it was when they were friends or now that they were married, he was always protecting her in one way or another.

She stood deciding to make herself a snack, and maybe something for House to find once he got home from work. She walked down the hall, peaking into Rachel's room to make sure she was asleep. She smiled at the sight of her daughter's sleeping face, her stuffed dog wrapped tightly in her arms. She continued into the kitchen, surprised to find the light on. Cuddy snuck her head around the corner, relieved to see that House was standing in the kitchen, giving her an explanation of why the light was on. His back was to her and she could read in his posture that something was wrong. His shoulders were tensed and she could see his knuckles gripping the edge of the counter.

She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle, leaning her head against his back. He slightly relaxed against her.

"Everything okay?" She asked softly, pressing her cheek to his back as she ran her hands along his chest as a form of comfort.

"Patient's dead."

His voice was low and rough, the way it was when he was infuriated. It was rare for him to be so angry over the death of a patient, and she knew it had been over two years since he had last been so visibly bothered by the loss of a patient.

"What happened?"

"Eight years old and she had a brain aneurysm that ruptured before we could even do anything about the reason she was there to begin with."

"It's not your fault."

"That doesn't matter to me. Eight years old, Cuddy. Two years older than Rachel, and she's dead because I couldn't do anything to stop it from bursting. I wasn't even able to diagnose her to begin with. We started getting tests run, and before they were even finished she started crashing, and I couldn't do shit to save her."

She could hear the anger at himself in his voice and it hurt her to see him so upset. She knew that when his patient died and he showed so much of his compassionate side that it meant something; it left an emotional impact on him.

Most people assumed that because he was so hard on the outside that he didn't care about those around him, when it was completely untrue. If others had bothered to know him as well as she did they would know that when he cared about others, he cared so deeply that although he would never admit it he was affected by their pain. He cared about his patients even though he pretended not to. If he didn't care about people, he wouldn't have become a doctor. Doctors save lives. A person who did not care about others would not have become a doctor, and it did nothing but piss her off when people believed that of him. If people took the time to see him for who he really was, they would know that.

"I'm sorry." She said, letting go of him and moving to his side. She placed her hand over his and was not at all surprised when he pulled her against him, his lips finding hers as his hands ran along her sides seeking comfort.

"I need you." He murmured against her lips and she shivered as his hands slipped beneath her shirt.

"I know." She replied, running her hands along his chest before pulling off his jacket. She started unbuttoning his shirt, their lips never parting as he gripped her hips keeping her pinned against him.

When his shirt was unbuttoned she felt him lift her into his arms. Usually she would have protested but knowing him and how he was currently feeling she knew better. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her into the bedroom, running her lips against his jaw as she ran her fingers through his hair.


He gently dropped her onto the bed before finding her lips once more. He needed nothing more than to feel her flesh against his, to seek the physical and emotional comfort that only she could provide for him in moments when he hated himself and everything around him. He needed to know that regardless of his failure as a doctor that she was going to be there to reassure him.

He pushed up her shirt and kissed the flatness of her abdomen, trailing his lips against her skin as he moved his hand up to her left breast, giving it a gentle squeeze as his thumb brushed against her nipple until it was hard beneath his touch. He moved his lips up her body, taking her breast into his mouth as his hand gave the same attention he had just given the other. He felt her arch beneath him and could feel his arousal grow, soft whimpers escaping her as he continued to lick and suck at her breast. He released it and went on to do the same to the other, her hands running along his back. He pulled off her shirt and groaned as she brought their faces together, pulling at his lower lip. He hooked his arm around her waist, holding her as close as possible, feeling her breasts against his chest, the feel of her heart beating rapidly beneath him giving him comfort.

She pushed off his shirt and he could feel her hand make its way towards the button of his pants, and he eagerly pressed himself against her hand. She unbuttoned his jeans and slipped down the zipper, sliding her hand into his boxers. He groaned as he felt her run her thumb against his head, her touch sending a bolt of electricity through him.

He closed his eyes as she continued to rub him, knowing exactly what he needed. He pulled away from her and took off the remainder of his clothing, his hands finding her hips and pulling off pajama bottoms along with her thong. He slipped his fingers along her folds, feeling her wetness against his skin knowing she was more than ready for him. He looked up at her and she nodded, her leg wrapping around his back to encourage him. He thrust into her and they both let out simultaneous moans, their bodies molding to fit perfectly together.

He could feel the tightening of her walls as he ground against her hips, her nails digging into his back as she moaned in pleasure. He brought his lips to her collarbone, sucking at her neck as she wrapped her legs tightly around him. He squeezed her breasts as he continued to suck at her neck.


She moaned as she felt his hand leave her breast and slip between their bodies, his thumb pressing against her clit as he quickened his pace. She could feel her body tensing as he rubbed her, putting enough pressure on her that the feeling of pleasure was unbearable. She pulled his face towards her and pressed her lips against his, wrapping her arms around House's neck as her breath hitched and she arched into him.

She was so close she could barely contain her whimpers as he continued to thrust into her, one hand against her clit as the other held them together. Her legs began to quiver as she felt a wave of pleasure hit her, her orgasm so intense that she screamed in pleasure, her voice cracking and her breath coming in pants.

"Oh fuck, right there." She cried as her chest tightened at the amount of pleasure she was feeling as he pushed into her.

"I…I can't take it anymore." She allowed herself to be completely overtaken by her orgasm as he moved above her, his teeth pulling at her lips.

"You feel so incredible right now." She heard him groan as she rode out her orgasm, one hand pressed firmly against the back of his neck.


He groaned as she pressed her forehead against his, letting out another moan before she pressed her lips against his jaw. He was so close that he could barely contain himself. He could feel her tightening against him again as he pounded into her, feeling the heat of her body against his. They were covered in sweat, and he could see her cheeks flushing as she threw her head back. Her hips were bucking up to meet his, grinding against him. He knew she was close to her second orgasm, the desperation in her voice as her whimpers increased in frequency.

He pressed his lips against hers, feeling her take one of his hands as she arched into him, her body shaking. The feel of her quivering beneath him was enough to send him over the edge. He grunted as he came, one hand in hers and the other around her back as she brought her free hand to his face, holding it there as they continued to kiss.

He dropped down beside her, wrapping his arm against her as she burrowed into his side.

"Are we okay?" He heard her ask softly, her lips pressed against his chest.

His mind went back to the argument they had had only days earlier, leaving things between the two uncertain although they had apologized then.

"We're fine." He replied, pulling the covers around them. "We'll always be fine."


Comments? Concerns? Leave your thoughts in a review please! :) Also, don't forget to check out "return" by my good friend katherynmae c: i promised her i'd help her get some readers!