44: Family Matters
Tuesday
6:00 PM
Makoto
It's been a while since I sat down. I'm sure I've dozed off a couple times since I've done nothing to keep myself active.
I stare at the phone lying on the table in front of me. Biting my lip, I hang my head.
How could I face her…?
I hesitate for a little while longer. Realizing the cowardice in my own words, however, I call her.
"May I help you?"
"This is Itou Makoto." I clench my free hand into a fist. "Is Itaru free?"
"Yes. Allow me to ensure she's allowed to—yes, she is."
After a few seconds—
"Makoto-kun? Is it really you?"
Don't just gape… Think of something. Anything!
"Um…" I start, "Hi, Itaru-chan. How was school?"
"It was really, really boring. But I got to play with Shio-chan after school, so I'm happy now."
"That's good…" I know it'll hurt to continue, but I have to, "Itaru-chan?"
"Hm?"
"How would you…" I bite my lip, "like to stay here for a couple hours?"
"How?" She asks. "My school's far away."
"I'll make sure to get tickets!" I say more forcefully, "you won't even to have that butler help you. I'll wait all day for you at the station to come here, and I'll come with you on the train back. I won't ever leave you alone, because you're the best sister in the world, and I—"
I freeze for a moment. I wipe off the tears streaming down my face.
"Makoto-kun?"
"I don't deserve you," I whisper tearfully in the phone, "you deserve so much better, and you've got a useless brother as a role model. If only Mom could be here, sh—"
"Everyone makes mistakes. I don't care what's wrong; you're the best brother in the world! Don't let anyone tell you different."
I shake my head, "You shouldn't believe me. You don't know what I'v—"
"I'll love you forever and ever."
I lean my left hand against my forehead, trying desperately to keep my composure. Still holding back tears, I wait for several seconds.
Suddenly, it hits me.
If nothing else… I can make her smile.
"Makoto-kun?"
"I'm sorry," I sniff, "for being dumb. Did you want to say something?"
"There's one thing I want."
"What's that?" I ask eagerly.
"Well…" She giggles. "I want you to love me forever."
Shocked, I calm down as quickly as I can. Smiling as big as I can, I nod.
"I promise I will."
Tuesday
11:30 PM
Gakuto
I'm glad she's found someone who cared about her. But Manami said she cried when Itou broke her heart.
Where was I?
I know what I'm doing has a purpose. Even if my girls weren't smart, it'd be easy to pay for college. They'll thank me someday.
But on days like this… All I remember is how much I've missed.
I down my third glass of sake.
"Another?" The bartender's eyes dart from the empty glass to me.
"I…" Hanging my head, I tell him, "no."
Shrugging, he tends to another customer. The bell to the front door rings, and someone comes up behind me.
"Is it alright if I sit next to you?"
I look up. A tall, slender man with unkempt brown hair and thick stubble gives me an awkward smile. Seeing no ill-intent, I shake my head.
"Go ahead,"
He sits down. From the way he awkwardly looks from his lap to me, I can tell he wants to vent. Nonetheless, he waits for his glass of beer to come before starting.
"You look respectable. Have a wife, couple kids?"
I stare at him curiously. "Yes…"
"I-I'm sorry," he turns away, "I wasn't trying to sound weird. It's just…"
He gulps down another glass. "If I'm gonna turn things around this late in life, I need better company."
He stands up from his seat and bows. "I'm Hazama Shun." I start to get up, but he shakes his head. "I don't deserve that privilege."
Confused, I get back in my seat.
"I've made a lot of mistakes," he chuckles, "hell, it was a mistake that brought me here. It just hit me all at once how sucky my life's been up until now. And the only one I have to blame for that,"
He jerks his thumb towards his own chest. "Is sitting right next to you."
"I take it you don't live here?" I push my glass aside, worried I'll subconsciously mimic him. "What made you decide this was the place for you?"
Eyes wide, he crosses his arms, mulling over whether to talk about it or not. Finally, he complies. "I haven't seen my daughter in so many years. If I wanna change, I have to at least make things right."
He leans back in his seat. "It sounds easy, but… I'm terrified. Her Mom hates me. The only way I could possibly meet her is if I happened to catch her elsewhere, and who says she won't run away? I mean, part of me wants to say, 'why take the risk? Just live on your own the rest of your life. It's more than you deserve'."
I slam my fist on the table and stand up.
"Don't do that!"
He jumps slightly.
"Even if she doesn't want you in her life, you have to try to reach her. You're her Father. Don't miss a single opportunity to put a smile on her face."
After a few minutes' consideration, he chuckles. "It's funny,"
I wait for his response.
"I had a feeling I chose the right crowd," he pushes the glass aside.
