Author: Raven Shadowrose
Title: To Catch a Falling Star
Rating: M
Pairing: Dixie/Hannah, Jeff/Emilie, ?/?
Summary: A sequel to The Ties That Bind. What will happen to the Holby paramedics and their partners when a traumatic event tests the bonds of their relationships and friendships?
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Casualty, any dialogue from the show belongs to the writers and I claim no ownership. All original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for them to be used.
A/N: There will be some chapters in this story that may upset some people, a warning will be placed at the start of each chapter that contains sensitive/upsetting material. Reviews are welcome :)
Thank you to MrsJeffreyCollier for reviewing, it seems you're the only one that has stuck with this story all the way to the end. Thank you :)
Chapter Fifty-Three... Sophia Collier.
In the time that I've been living in Holby I've been watching my dad and Emilie together, I can tell that they're so in love with each other. I'm glad that Emilie makes my dad happy, he always seemed to be lonely when I used to visit him before Emilie came into his life. I think that he was looking for someone to love him that he could love in return as well. It's different now, my dad always has a smile on his face, I know that it is down to Emilie and the love she has given to him. I can tell that Emilie loves my dad, I know that she wouldn't do anything to hurt him. I've arrived home from college more than once to find them cuddling up together on the sofa, I think that it is cute. I once came home after being out with some friends to find them asleep in the lounge, my dad had his head on Emilie's shoulder and she had her arms around him. I watched them for a few minutes and then I went to my room, I didn't want to disturb them as they looked so peaceful. I am happy that my dad and Emilie are in love with each other, I hope that they will remain so for a long time.
I know that my dad and Emilie had a difficult time after Polly had been hurt in the college. I don't know all of the details, but I do know that my dad struggled for a while. I know that Polly protected my dad, she stopped him from getting hurt even though it meant she got shot. I think that Polly is very brave, I don't know many people that would jump in front of a bullet for someone. Dad told me all about the counselling sessions he'd had with Ben and how he'd found it hard to open up at first. My dad also told me that he had tried to keep Emilie away from him so that she would be safe, he was afraid that she would get hurt and that he would lose her if she was near him. I know that Emilie refused to give up, she refused to let him push her away and was there when my dad needed her the most. I am grateful that Emilie refused to give up on him, that she stayed with him. I know how much my dad loves Emilie, if he had succeeded in pushing her away then it would have broken his heart. I honestly don't think that he would have ever got over it if she had left him. I know that my dad is in love, he is different with Emilie than he was with mum. I am glad that he has someone that makes him smile and looks after him.
I wish I knew why mum cheated on dad and is now doing the same to Alan, he knows about it and he has asked her for a divorce. I am trying not to dwell on what happened in the past, I know that I wouldn't have been able to stop her from cheating on dad. I couldn't stop her from cheating on Alan either, she wouldn't have listened to anything that me or John said to her. I am trying my best not to focus on what is going on with my mum, it makes me sad. I don't want to believe that being in love with someone is all about pain and cheating. I am trying to focus on the memories that I have of my dad and Emilie, I know that they love each other. I want to find someone that loves me as much as my dad loves Emilie. I know that my dad wants me to find someone that will look after me properly, he would be very angry if anyone hurt me in any way. I wouldn't like to be the guy that even thought about hurting me, my dad would hunt him down and make him suffer. I know that he wants me to be happy, it feels nice to know that he loves me so much. I love him too, I like it when he gives me a hug before he goes out to work or after he comes back.
My dad is my hero, I am proud of him, I don't know how many lives he has saved, but I think that it is quite a few. I remember when he used to come home after being at work and he would put me to bed. I didn't notice it when I was younger, but he would always look tired after he had finished a shift. He would always read me a story and make sure that I was tucked up safely in bed, then he would sit with me until I fell asleep. Now that I am older my dad gives me a big hug before I go to bed, if he is working nights then he hugs me in the morning when he comes home. I like it when he hugs me, he makes me feel safe, it feels nice. I don't want my dad to change, I want him to stay as he is, I love him as he is. I am glad that he said I could come and live with him and Emilie, I like living with them and knowing that they care for me.
I remember when I met Emilie for the first time, it wasn't long after dad told me and John that he'd met someone and that he really liked her. I heard it in his voice how much he liked Emilie, I hoped that it would work out between them and my dad would have someone to help him stop feeling so lonely. I saw how Emilie looked at my dad when she was with him, it was the look of someone that was falling in love. I knew that she would take care of my dad and make him happy. I was so pleased when they got engaged, I knew that Emilie would say yes. I have known for a long time that my dad and Emilie are meant for each other. The day that they got married was a very happy one, my dad looked so handsome and Emilie looked so beautiful in her dress. I am glad that I was able to be at the wedding and be a bridesmaid for Emilie. It was such a beautiful day, to see my dad happy with someone is all I have wanted for him for so long. I like Emilie, she has always accepted me and John as part of dad's life, she hasn't tried to make him stop seeing us. I am happy that dad has picked someone as loving and kind as Emilie is.
Moving away from my mum wasn't easy, she made me feel very bad about the decision that I made. She had a go at me for it for a very long time, I thought that she wasn't going to stop shouting at me. Mum also had a go at dad too, she phoned him up to tell him that she blamed him for the decision that I made. I thought that dad would be angry with me, that he would blame me for making mum shout at him. I didn't want my dad to be mad at me, I was so relieved when he told me that he wasn't angry. I don't know if mum will ever forgive me for leaving London and going to live with dad. I had to do what was right for me, I had to follow my heart and do what I knew would make me happy. I had been missing dad for some time before I gathered enough of my courage to apply for a college place in Holby. I wasn't sure if they would accept me or not, I am glad that they did, it means that I get to be closer to my dad.
I feel as though I have missed out on a lot of time with my dad because mum made us go to London. I know that dad didn't really want to let me and John go, he did it because he wanted us to have a stable life. I don't blame him or think bad of him for letting us go, he was only doing what he thought was best. I love my dad, that is all I need to know, he tried his best for me when I was a child. I know that he always made sure that there was food to eat and that we had a warm house to sleep in. He helped me with my homework and gave me plenty of hugs when I felt sad. I am grateful to my dad for everything he has done, and everything that he still does for me. He is always glad to see me and is always there with a hug whenever I want one. I like hugging my dad, it makes me happy, I really hope that he likes hugging me too. I know Emilie agrees with me, my dad's hugs are amazing, they make me feel happy and so very loved.
John is visiting us today, dad is off work and John has some time off from university. I am grateful to John for bringing me and all my stuff to Holby. I really don't know how I would have managed to get it all packed up and brought here from London without his help. I think he might have got into trouble with mum for helping me, she didn't speak to either of us as we left the house. I hope that John didn't get into too much trouble because he helped me to move to Holby. I wish that mum would stop taking things out on everyone that wants to help me. I feel as if she is trying to make everyone dislike me by having a go at them. I don't think that it has worked; dad still loves me and wants me around, and John has promised that he will always bring some of my favourite cake with him when he visits me. I wonder if mum knows that all she is doing is pushing people away from her, how is that helping her? I don't know what is going through her mind, sometimes I'm not sure that I want to know. Does she really want to be by herself? Does she really want people to dislike her? I'm not sure that she knows what she wants.
Dad is happy that John has come to Holby so that we can all be together for the day, Emilie is here too, it is nice to spend some time my dad and Emilie and my brother. It feels like it has been a long time since I've seen John. I've been so busy since my brother brought me to Holby, the time has passed very quickly. The first two days dad and Emilie looked after me and they wouldn't let me do anything other than relax. I sat on the sofa with them both and watched films, sometimes Polly, Dixie, Hannah, and Cyd would join us too. Dixie and Hannah sometimes brought the twins with them, I like to play with the twins, they are so cute and I love them. Little Abs would sit by my feet and wait to be fed bits of popcorn and pizza. I am grateful to my dad and Emilie for giving me the time to relax after leaving London, I think that they knew how difficult it had been for me to leave. I think that they wanted to help me to feel better in any way that they could.
Emilie treated me like an adult when we went shopping to buy things for my room, she let me pick out whatever I wanted. She also took me for lunch and we talked about a lot of things, I liked how Emilie treated me as her equal. I know that she doesn't see me as a child, she talks to me like I am an adult. It makes me happy that Emilie views me as capable of making my own decisions. She always has time for me if I need to talk to her, she always listens to me intently and takes on what I am saying. She was there for me when I thought that dad would be angry with me after mum had phoned him up to yell at him. I was scared to phone dad, I thought that he would be mad at me too, it would have upset me if he had shouted at me too. Hearing Emilie say that dad wasn't angry at me made me feel relieved, it also gave me the courage to ask Emilie if dad could call me. Hearing dad's voice made me feel a lot better, I knew from the way he spoke to me that he still loved me.
My dad took me out to buy me what I needed for college, I think that he wanted to spend some time with me, just the two of us. I wanted to spend time with him too, I wanted to make up for all the time that we had lost out on. Dad bought me some ice cream after we'd had something to eat, he used to do that when I was a little girl. It made me happy that he remembered my favourite flavour of ice cream is strawberry with chocolate sauce. I know that his favourite flavour of ice cream is chocolate, he used to give me some of his ice cream off the spoon and take a little bit of mine. I liked sharing the ice cream with my dad, it made me happy. Even after all of our years apart, he hasn't changed one bit, he is still that same dad that gives the most amazing hugs. He is still the man that taught me to ride my bike in the park, the one that hugged me after I'd had a nightmare and couldn't sleep. I always used to fall asleep when he held me, it is because I knew that I was safe in his arms and he wouldn't let anyone or anything harm me.
I'm watching dad and John as they play football with Little Abs, it is nice to watch them playing together. I think that John is going easy on dad, though it is hard to be sure, he teases him about being an old man from time to time. Emilie is sat with me, I notice that she is smiling at John and dad, I think that watching them makes her happy too. I have noticed that Emilie smiles a lot, I think that she has a very pretty smile. 'Emilie, what is being married like?'
'I don't know what it is like for other people, I can tell you what it is like for me though.'
'Okay.'
'Being married is something that I've always wanted to experience, but not with just anyone. I was looking for a man with a nice smile and even nicer eyes. I wanted someone that was caring and considerate, someone that I could come home to at the end of the day. I wanted someone that made my life happier just by being in it.'
'Did you ever think about what that person would look like?'
'Not really, looks have always been way down the list of what I wanted in man. I think that there are more important things in life than what someone looks like.'
'A lot of people don't think that way.'
'I know, there are people out there who think that physical attractiveness is what makes someone beautiful. Sometimes a beautiful outside can be hiding a very ugly inside.'
'Is that a way of saying don't judge a book by its cover?'
'I suppose that it is. Take your dad, for instance, people might look at him and see that he is losing his hair, he has a few lines around his eyes and mouth, and he has a bit of extra weight on his belly. They might see that he is now a middle-aged man and not as physically fit as he used to be. There are some people that would use those things as reasons not to be with him.'
'That's not a nice thing to think about someone, that you wouldn't want to be with them because you think that they're not attractive. I think that it would hurt someone's feelings.'
'It isn't a nice thing to think about someone. I fell in love with a man who has lovely blue eyes, a man that makes me feel safe and loved. I love your dad as he is, the man with the kind heart and the caring nature. I married your dad because I love him, I will always love him no matter what. I think that your dad is very handsome.' Emilie's words make sense, I think that people place too much emphasis on physical attractiveness when they choose someone to date.
Emilie has gone inside to make some drinks for everyone, it is a warm day and she thinks that my dad and John will need them after their little football match. John is still playing with Little Abs, he is rolling the ball across the grass and Abs is bringing it back to him. My dad sits down next to me, I notice that he looks a bit on the tired side. 'Hey dad.'
'Hello princess.'
'Are you okay?'
'Yeah, though playing football makes me realise that I'm not as young as I used to be.'
'I think you did very well.'
'Thanks sweetheart.' Dad put his arm around my shoulder and he gave me a hug, I smiled at him and he kissed me on the head.
'Dad, I love you.'
'I love you too princess.'
'I'm glad that you let me come and live with you and Emilie.'
'You will always have a place in our home whenever you need it princess, you are my beautiful daughter and I will be here when you need me. The same applies to your brother should he ever need a place to stay, he will be welcome at any time.'
'Thanks dad.' I rest my head against my dad's shoulder and I let him hug me, it is nice to spend time with him, Emilie, and my brother. It is times like this that make me happy.
John comes and sits by us when Emilie brings the drinks out and the cake that he brought with him, she puts the tray onto the table and we help ourselves to a glass each. I take a few sips of my drink and put it back down on the table. I pick up my slice of cake and I bite into it. Dad holds his hand out to Emilie and he helps her to sit down next to him, he strokes the back of her hand with his thumb and kisses her on the cheek. I like how attentive dad is towards Emilie, he looks after her and treats her like a lady. I know that Emilie likes it too, she is smiling, she gives dad a hug and a little kiss. It is obvious to anyone that looks at them how in love they are with each other. I am glad that I was brave enough to move to Holby, seeing my dad and Emilie together has given me the experience of what a loving relationship should be like. Finding the courage to apply for a college here in Holby was hard, I am glad that I was able to do it, it has paid off in more ways than I can count. I like being here with everyone and spending time together as a family.
I turned my head back to dad and Emilie when my dad begins to speak. 'Sophia, John, I am glad that you are here with us today, it has been nice to spend time with you both. Now that we have you both together I think it is time to tell you that we have some news for you.' I am curious as to what news dad and Emilie have to tell us, I know that John feels the same, I can see the curiosity written on his face. 'Come on dad,' John says. 'Don't keep us in suspense.'
'Okay.' I hear dad take a deep breath and I see Emilie squeeze his hand. 'We found out a few days ago that Emilie is pregnant, you're going to have a little brother or sister.' I look at dad and Emilie, it is clear that they are waiting for our reaction to the news that they have just given us. I look over at John, I'm not sure what he is thinking. John suddenly looks at our dad and he smiles, 'Congratulations,' he says. 'That is wonderful news, I am very happy for you both.' I notice that dad looks very relieved that John is happy. John gives Emilie a hug and then he hugs dad too, I smile as I watch them all hugging each other. I turn my head as Emilie comes over to me, John is still with dad and they are talking to each other. 'Emilie, I am so glad that you're having a baby.'
'Thank you.' Emilie hugs me and I hug her back.
'I know that you and dad have been trying for a while.'
'We have, I am glad that it has happened and that I am pregnant.'
'If you need any help with anything then you know where I am.'
'Of course I do, I am pleased that you want to help me.'
'I do, I will do anything for my baby brother or sister and their mum.' Emilie smiles as she hugs me again, I can tell that I have said the right words to her.
My dad comes over to me after he has finished talking with John, he sits next to me and he puts his arms around me. I am reminded of all of the times that he hugged me when I was younger, he still makes me feel safe. 'My princess, you'll always be my little girl, you'll always be special to me no matter what, I promise you that.'
'Is this because Emilie is having a baby?'
'I don't want you to feel as though you will be left out.'
'I don't feel like that, I know how much you love me and John.'
'Are you sure, I don't want you to be unhappy.'
'I'm not unhappy, I'm going to be a big sister, that makes me very happy.'
'I need you to look out for Emilie when I'm not around, can you do that?'
'Of course I can, you can count on me.'
'Thank you sweetheart.'
'Congratulations dad, do you think that Emilie will have a little girl?'
'I don't know princess, I just want the baby to be healthy.'
'I want that too.' I cuddle up closer to my dad, I am glad that he trusts me to look after Emilie and my future sibling. I am very happy that he and Emilie are having a baby, I really can't wait to be a big sister when he or she is born.
