So, big work here, I hope you like it, thanks to my beta that had to do this one twice because I sent her the wrong version at first (Fire bad, tree pretty). I know my updates have been few and far between, and I'm sorry. I vowed to myself that my next story will not have a chapter under 2000 words. But this one is coming to an end soon, and I admit myself that it will be time to wrap it up soon.

Still, expect at least 4-5 more.

Bella

Âme soeur

The first day of vacation alone with the girls, it snowed. We had snow sometimes in Forks, but never like this. Soon the ground was covered, and it didn't stop for three days. No one could go in or out and Alice was freaked. After yelling at the policemen who were guarding the road a couple of times, she finally accepted that there was nothing she could do.

On Wednesday morning, they reopened the roads at last. It took about half a day for the hotel crew to clear it from the paths, but it wasn't all bad, because now we were living in an even more incredible winter wonderland.

On the morning of the fifth day, I wandered a little in the vibrant white forest surrounding the hotel. I wished Edward was with me: he'd make me do snow angels with him.

As I walked, I noticed that on the other side of the lake there was one cabin that stood alone. Alice had rambled for days about which guests were staying in which cabin, so I was a little curious as to why she hadn't told me who had reserved this one. I went to the front desk and asked if the cabin was occupied, a weird felling creeping in my chest, and the hostess informed me that a guest who would be arriving for the wedding at the last minute had reserved it. Edward. So he didn't plan on arriving sooner. I contemplated this development with a sigh. At least he was planning on staying the night. *Don't be silly; he has to stay. Esme wants to get married at sunset, and we're so secluded up here...* I thought, and it saddened me that if he had a choice he might have decided to leave right away. I wanted him to stop running from me. No, I needed him to stop running. His absence was getting me more depressed every day, and I just wasn't strong enough to be apart from him. We hadn't written to each other all week since the cell phone service was unavailable because of the storm, and I hoped he knew I wasn't ignoring him on purpose.

I'd eaten about half my hand worrying about things. The girls and I had talked every night for hours about everything except the situation with my best friend. I realized before leaving my apartment that, as my best friend, Edward was the only one who could guide me through this. It only seemed fair I should wait to discuss my feelings with him first; the wait was simply killing me.

I spent the whole day helping Alice with the last minute preparations for the rehearsal dinner, which was set to take place in two days. I did my best to compliment Alice on her amazing planning, but all I could think about was that Edward would be here by then. We would either have found a way to work through our... problem, or... I refused to think of an "or." I was so absorbed in my thoughts that hours passed by without my notice.

I wasn't really in these realms of reality yet. I kept imagining Edward's arrival in various ways. In some scenarios, he was sad or angry, in others he acted as if nothing happened. But in all of them, I was always so relieved and happy to see him it made my heart long for that moment.

When Rose knocked on my door, I jumped, startled. She sighed when she realized I wasn't ready at all for our dinner celebration of Esme and Carlisle's arrival. She forced me into a fancy dress and did my hair for me, giving me annoyed or worried glances during the process.

I followed her to the main building and greeted the soon-to-be husband and wife, happy to see them, but at the same time wishing they were someone else. I felt horrible for thinking that, but I couldn't help it. I stayed quiet while we ate. Esme was amazed by how smooth everything was going. Alice was glowing. The beautiful white roses had arrived earlier, and they were everywhere: on the banister of the staircase, all around the bay windows, and even outside on the railings, going from one cabin to another. It was really beautiful.

After dessert, I was pretty exhausted. I checked the clock. It was 9:30. I could reasonably call it a night at this point without Rose narrowing her eyes at me.

I said goodnight to everyone, still lost in the omnipresent haze I had so much trouble to snap out of. I needed rest. I hadn't slept much since last week. They all glanced at each other knowingly, but didn't force me to stay. I hadn't been the life of the party lately, to say the least.

As of tonight, I was cruelly alone in my cabin. Alice was switching cabins to stay with Esme until the wedding because they wanted to talk about the last minutes details day and night. Emmett would be arriving in a matter of minutes. Rose was excited to see him after the week she'd spent taking care of me, and I'd insisted she spend the night with him. I wasn't decent company anyways. The downside of this was that when I was alone, my mind wandered dangerously.

I put on my fancy boots, which was a hard task. They were so uncomfortable that I never kept them on when I was inside. Alice had insisted that since every path was dry and made of fancy wood, I had no reason to fall, so she'd given me high-heeled boots. What a pain.

However, I was distracted from my task when I saw two girls from the flower company gossiping and peeking outside.

"A Vanquish. Oh my, did you see that car?" one girl said.

Time stood still. My breath was caught in my throat. My heart stopped. Several seconds passed, giving my brain the time to comprehend. He was here.

He was early.

My heart missed a beat before racing at an unbelievable pace. I felt faint. I cursed at the stupid high-heel boots I was still trying to put on.

Edward was here and it was the best and the worse news. I'd been anticipating his arrival all week, but now that he was here, I felt nauseous. What if he didn't want to see me? What if he was mad? What if he expected me to return his feelings?

I ran away like a coward, going towards the side of the hotel leading to my cabin. I needed air. I needed time. I almost tripped half a dozen times, but made it outside and then to the porch of my cabin relatively unscathed. I froze as I realized that he might be able to see me from his cabin or the hotel, wherever he was. I hid behind the back wall. I should have gone inside, but I wanted to catch even just a glimpse of him. I waited for my heartbeat to calm down before I looked, but before I could find the courage, I heard footsteps on the front porch where I had been just a moment ago. I risked a glance around the corner of the wall. Oh my god. He was really here, standing at my cabin door.

I could only see his back, but he looked... different. Had he always been that tall? Had his copper hair always had that glow? He had new clothes on and seemed a little older somehow. *Stop being silly; you've saw him last week,* I chastised myself. But I'd never felt further away from him even though he was so close.

He hadn't seen me yet. He mumbled unintelligibly under his breath as he raised his hand to knock on the door but he stopped his hand before it reached the door and ran it through his unruly hair. He sighed. He turned around as if he was leaving, allowing me to see his face. I gasped out loud. He was so handsome- flawless. I'd forgotten how good he looked. He must have heard me make a sound, because his eyes searched the darkness and landed on me. His expression, which was shocked at first, softened when he recognized me.

I stepped out of the shadow of the wall sheepishly, blushing deep red.

"Hello," I said, resisting the urge to run into his arms.

"Bella..."

I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling that accompanied hearing his voice as he said my name.

We looked at each other for the longest time. I missed him so much, but I was so afraid to do or say something that would give him false hope. He saw right through me.

"Bells, what I said to you that day..." he began and I felt the tears coming. How could I reject him a second time? I waited for him to confess his love again, but then his demeanor change just a bit.

"Dance with me?" he asked.

I nodded. He offered me his hand and I took it. It felt so familiar in mine.

He made me twirl gently and we began dancing slowly to the silence of the night.

Come to me now

And lay your hands over me

Even if it's a lie

Say it will be all right

And I shall believe

I'm broken in two

And I know you're on to me

That I only come home

When I'm so all alone

But I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way

You think it ought to be

It seems like every time I try to make it right

It all comes down on me

Please say honestly you won't give up on me

And I shall believe

And I shall believe

Open the door

And show me your face tonight

I know it's true

No one heals me like you

And you hold the key

After a while, I allowed myself to hug him. I was elated when his arms closed around me. I felt like I was finally back home where I belonged. His body was so warm against my own. I noticed how cold the night was for the first time. God, I'd missed his touch.

I let my head rest on his chest for a second.

He came abruptly to a halt. "About that morning... I was a total jerk, and I shouldn't have... kissed you. I have regretted it every second we've been apart. Please forgive me."

Time stood still again. I repeated his words a couple of times in my head. He regretted it. I waited for relief to invade me, but nothing came... Since we'd kissed, I hadn't been myself, and so far, I couldn't put my finger on why. *We kissed,* I repeated in my mind, forcing myself to acknowledge it.

I had forbidden myself to even mention it in my head before; had hid it from the girls because I was so desperate not to think about it, but now that I did, I remembered it so clearly: the way his hands had felt against my belly, the way his lips had crashed on mine so passionately, the way his tongue had felt against my own... The warmth in my stomach grew until it swallowed me whole. My heartbeat was erratic to the point of making me shudder. I'd been so afraid to think about that kiss because I'd liked it... That revelation shifted reality. I was a coward for not admitting it sooner. *Oh my God.* I felt a tear running down my cheek. This was all such a waste.

I loved him too.

I felt crippled by fear. I didn't want to feel this way, but most of all I didn't want him to regret our first and only kiss. But he did. My heart ached and my stomach turned at the thought. He regretted it; maybe he didn't want me anymore.

He sensed my distress, like always. "What's going on?" he asked.

I dismissed his question, shaking my head. "It's nothing." I looked into his eyes for a second and he saw nothing was okay anymore. I pulled slightly away from him, but his hold only tightened around me.

"Bella," he began, trying to hold me in place. I panicked. He could read me like an open book and he would see it– the truth I was so scared to express. I squirmed under his hold, trying to break free. I failed. The more I tried to avoid his touch, the tighter he held me, the more my head spun. He used one of his hands to raise my face gently so that that he could meet my gaze, but I stared obstinately at the floor.

"Bells, look at me." His velvet voice was compelling me to bend to his wish, and I obeyed him, ashamed of being so weak. He looked directly into my eyes for what seemed like ages. I could see a storm of feelings raging in his eyes. After a minute, his expression was so open, and vulnerable, I stopped breathing again.

He groaned out loud, and in an instant, his lips were on mine, erasing all semblance of doubt. He was my best friend, and I loved him with all my heart.

He was more tentative this time, asking instead of taking. I answered his unspoken question, kissing him back fervently. I ran my tongue against his lower lips slowly, making him moan as we deepened the kiss. He grabbed me by the hips and pushed me against the door, not unlike the last time, and my blinding need for his touch engulfed everything else. It felt so right, so natural, like every touch we'd exchanged throughout the years. But it was also better, more passionate. I gave in completely to this craving eating me alive. It was the sweetest feeling, not to deny it anymore, and a burden I didn't know I was holding lifted from my heart.

Eventually, I had to stop to breathe. I was panting in his arms, confused and almost...annoyed

"You just said you regretted doing that in the first place," I said, punching him in the stomach. He fell down on his knees. My heart ached.

"Oh my god, Edward I didn't want to hurt –"

As I apologized, he started shaking his head and a crooked grin appeared on his lips. He stood back up, his eyes boring deep into mine meaningfully as he spoke. "You fall for it every time." The double meaning of his words wasn't lost on me, and I blushed. Of course he had only said he regretted it because he thought that was what I wanted to hear. He always put me first. He was so amazing and kind and...

"I was so lost without you," I breathed in his ear, my voice breaking in the end. I felt like crying and laughing all at once. It was all so clear now; I'd loved him all my life. I'd just missed the moment it'd turned into more, oblivious to my own feelings as I was of his.

He was my life, my everything.

"God, I missed you so much," his shaky voice was so rich, I thought I'd melt into his arms. I looked deep into his eyes again, the joy I felt reflecting in his eyes.

When I shivered, more from the excitement than the cold, he guided me towards the door, never breaking our embrace. We went in quickly, and not a second after I closed the door, he brought his lips to mine again. We kissed for our friendship that was evolving into something different and exciting. We kissed because now we knew that everything would be okay. We kissed for all those times we hadn't kissed.

It was everything I didn't know I wanted.

It was perfect.

The song is "I shall believe" by Sheryl Crow. I you liked it, leave me a review.