Disclaimer: Mash-up. I merged my favorite book as a kid with my favorite book as an adult. The basic premise is from Elizabeth Cadell's 1955 "The Lark Shall Sing," while the characters and setting are from Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries. Cussing, kids scheming, white trash, anything having to do with sex was NOT in the original Cadell book, okay?


Fashion Mini-Chapters:

This section originally posted in June 2010. I got the idea that I wanted to emulate Charlaine Harris and describe what everyone wore to breakfast with Bill. I posted a fake chapter asking readers for suggestions on what everyone should wear to breakfast. So to the Original Readers currently doing the reread, THANK YOU! This was the most fucktardedly wonderful part of the story. As I wrote, I realized I was wasting a golden opportunity if all I did was describe them dressing. So, instead, we get to spend a little quality time with everyone as they get ready for breakfast.

IMPORTANT: To see what everyone looks like and their wardrobes, click on the "see Return of the Stackhouse Six page on my blog" link on my FF profile page.


Chapter Forty-Nine: Sookie Gets Ready

Startled awake, Sookie realized Eric was kissing her. She was, apparently, kissing him right back. "Mm…when did you sneak in my room?" "When did you invite me?" "I did not." "Liar." "Oh, hush."

Suddenly music spilled into the room and Sookie sat up with a start. For real, this time.

Fuck. That was a dream? Shit!

Turning off the alarm radio, Sookie laid back in her bed. Considering everything she had to deal with once she got out of bed, she was planning on postponing it as long as she possibly could.

Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe she'd get up and it really was just her at the house. Her siblings wouldn't be there. The retired urban planner from New York. The pouty Martha Stewart. The shirtless Viking god.

She groaned. No, you know what your dream was.

The last time her life had made any sense was at least two —maybe even three? —days earlier. It was Friday that she met with Uncle Mike and JB to talk about selling the house. Friday, which seemed like a lifetime ago but was, in actuality, only a few days.

Now that it was Monday morning, she couldn't help but think back to what her original plan for the week entailed and compare it to how her actual week would likely unfold.

Originally she was supposed to go through the house, room by room, and sort out what needed to be tossed, what needed to be sold, what needed to be put in storage, and what needed to be shipped to someone. They were putting the house on the market for sale. She was going to start thinking about meeting up with the kids and figuring out just where everyone needed to be for the next year. She was also supposed to start planning out her wedding to Bill.

Now, the house was not being sold. It still could use a really good cleanup, but it would continue to be the family home. The kids were home. Hoyt and Hunt were persona non grata in San Antonio, while Amelia had gotten herself expelled from Poly Prep. Until she got her shit together, Jason and Tara were home to watch them. Not to mention Maxine Fortenberry, a retired urban planner from New York; Pam Ravenscroft, a Hollywood manager/Martha Stewart wannabe; and Eric Northman, People's Sexiest Man Alive.

Yeah, they had enough babysitters, she figured.

As for her marrying Bill...well, she needed to end things with him. That, she knew, would not be easy. Not having had much experience with relationships, she tended to shy away from ugly scenes. The few relationships that she'd had that had ended hadn't culminated in ugly breakups. She had broken up with Quinn. Well, she had to kind of trick him so that he thought it was his idea, but that hadn't been a difficult thing to do. Alcide had broken up with her, but that was because he got back with Debbie. Other boyfriends? None that serious.

Okay, so she was breaking up with Bill. She wished she had thought about this before he drove out from Dallas. Hindsight being 20/20, now she couldn't help but wonder what does one do when your fiance comes out to see you and you break up with him? He'd better leave but Bill was acting so weird lately. He was really letting his true colors show.

It's like he was acting and on good behavior before I agreed to marry him...

Then there was the second part of her Jerry Springer man drama...Eric.

Was she really going to...what?...Date?...Have sex with?...Have a fling with?...Eric Northman?

Was he really expecting that she, Sookie Stackhouse, lifestyle writer based in Podunk USA, and he, Eric Northman, People's Sexiest Man Alive and star of HBO's latest flavor of the month, were going to...do what? Date? What the fuck would THAT look like? She'd bring him to Wal-Mart to take advantage of their Rollbacks and he'd bring her to the Emmy's or the Golden Globes so they could get dressed up and have flashbulbs go off in their faces? Then there's the fact that he lives in Los Angeles half the time and travels around the world filming moving half of that time. Would they even see each other if they dated? What was the point?

She couldn't help but think that if she entered into anything with Eric Northman, all it would wind up being would be an affair or brief little fling. It might be fun, but she wouldn't want to get hurt over it. With him making the investment in the house, with him becoming tight with Jason and the boys, and Amelia and Tara too, she didn't want to be responsible for there being any awkwardness. What if they did date and then they broke up, she didn't want to have home become this awful, awkward place. Not for him, not for her, certainly not for her brothers and sisters.

On the other hand, he wouldn't be around much anyway. Actors usually worked long hours when they were filming. He and Pam were only around so much now because that writer/director Russell Edgington was such a crazy egomaniac —according to Maxine, who had gotten the story from Pam — he was doing last minute rewrites to the scripts. Were it not for this, Eric and Pam would be out of the house for hours and hours each day. They'd have their own separate entrance. If they did the townhouse renovation, it really would be just like Tara and Maxine's idea of renting or selling a portion of the house. Financially, it would put them so far ahead of the game. She wouldn't have to worry about the kids, about health insurance, about tuition bills, about college. The amount of money Eric was willing to spend was ridiculous. She had gasped when she finally got Jason to tell her at the party. The whole house wasn't worth the money Eric was willing to spend on just a portion of it.

Why would anyone in their right mind be willing to spend that kind of money on an investment that was a loser from the get-go?

Eric must not be in his right mind. She frowned. Pam is his best friend. That should have clued me in right there. Oh fuck it! I have America's hottest bachelor interested in me and I can't handle the stress! What is wrong with me?

And Bill! I had agreed to spend the rest of my life with him and I'm all ready to toss that decision to the wind, on a lark? Just because Eric Northman has gotten it into his head that he enjoys family life and he sees me as a shortcut?

Getting out of bed, Sookie walked over to glance out her window. She heard something — no someone — coming up the driveway. As if on cue a gloriously sweaty blonde Viking god suddenly appeared at the driveway.

She let out a breathy sigh. She was in so much fucking trouble. She felt as though she were wound so tightly her jaw would snap. Just thinking about dealing with Bill was making the skin above her right eye twitch. And Eric! Trying to think about what to do about Eric!

Think, Sook, think. What the fuck are you going to do?

Finally she had it. She was just going to call a moratorium. Or estoppels. One or the other, she wasn't sure which. Boring words from Maxine's urban planner magazine. Sookie didn't care what it was called; it was the concept that was important. Basically it meant "take a break and do nothing." That is just what she was going to do today. Nothing.

The more Sookie thought about this moratorium idea, the more she liked it. She wasn't going to break up with Bill. She wasn't going to rush into a relationship with Eric. And, as long as she could make sure there was always a third person in the room with them, she wasn't going to allow herself to get caught up in any more make-out sessions with Mr. Lipsmacking Good.

For one day, Sookie was going to take a little breather. No serious conversations. No big decisions. Maybe she could do something benign with Bill. It was his first time to Bon Temps. It was his first time staying over in Louisiana. Maybe there were tourist things they could do. Even if he felt like just catching up on work, she'd be fine with that too. She would just lay out and catch some rays. The more Sookie considered that, they better it sounded. She would love to just bask in the sun for a couple of hours.

Jase was taking the kids to Hotshot. Tara was hanging out at JB's. Eric, Pam, and Maxine were adults and were not her concern. The only one she was obliged to take care of was Bill and she was sure he'd be okay just hanging out. Although, she'd have to dig up the 50 SPF sunscreen lotion if she was going to try to get him to agree to hang out with her outside.

Hmmm. I wonder if he remembered his hat?

Sookie took few deep breaths and had to admit she was already feeling much much better from the tightly wound stress knot she was when she first woke up. Exhausted, she was just calling in a mental health day.

Sookie was very pleased with this plan. Standing gingerly on her sprained ankle she thought maybe doing a compress on her foot would be a good idea. It didn't seem to be recovering as quickly as she thought it should.

She decided not to say anything to Bill about it. She figured he'd be on her in a heartbeat with a lecture about taking vitamins and "acting" her age.

Sookie shook her head. Some things about him she would just never get.

She figured she'd just throw on a bikini and a light summer dress on top of it, so she'd be ready to lay out when breakfast was done.


AN: This was one of those chapters that got a full rewrite. I didn't like how wishy-washy Sookie was. Also I put a lot of TB references in the story. I still have a couple here and there but I decided I wanted the story to be open to wider audience so I eliminated a lot of them. Also, since I was pulling suggestions, there were a lot of things that were a work-in-progress. Now that I know what happens, I can put more foreshadowing in.

I really like Reese as Sookie. I've seen Reese in several movies and as I wrote ROTSS, it was her voice I heard in my head. Hmmm. Does that sound weird? I do that a lot. Write dialogue with actors voices and delivery in my head, that is. Oh, well, nothing to be done about that.

Next Up: Eric

:D more to follow.