Gumby
Chapter 48: Keen Mind
Severus sat staring into the fire as Samara curled into his side. He was absent-mindedly running the fingers of his left hand through the silky tresses of her hair, his fingers never getting caught. It was a very strange sensation, to feel those silk locks and how the single strands shifted and moved within his grasp. The texture of her hair wasn't like his hair, he supposed his had more oils than hers because of the fumes of the potions.
They had returned to the castle shortly before dinner and split their separate ways. However, as curfew drew nearer, Severus found himself missing Samara. He was more than happy when he saw the black quill with silver edges request his presence in Samara's private quarters. Now here they sat in peaceful silence in her common room, both staring into the fire. Neither one had much to say at the moment, both lost in their own thoughts as they were, but he found it comforting enough to be in her presence and have her snuggled into him. Her head on his shoulder, her legs tucked beneath herself while her left hand idly rested on his chest, watching it heave with every breath he took.
"Severus," Severus turned his head slightly and looked at Samara, who was looking up at him curiously. He quirked a brow in response, staring into her shining hazel eyes that he supposed really should remind him of the man he most hated in the world, however, did not, because they were far closer to green. "Where did you take me today? How did you know the place?" she asked as she stared into his eyes.
"It was the garden of Prince Manor," he replied simply as he turned to look at the fireplace. "It's been abandoned for about ten years when my maternal grandfather passed away," Severus said as he looked at Samara. He could feel Samara's eyes gazing up at him intently and as he stared into the fire he supposed he should tell her a little more about his family as he knew almost all there seemed to be to hers. "My grandfather kicked my mother out of the house and told her he never wanted to see her again when she married my father, because he was a muggle.
"When I was a child, there were a few times when my mother would take me to the Garden of Prince manor, mostly when she knew my grandfather would not be around. When he passed away eleven years ago the Manor passed into my mother's possession, for he'd never disinherited her. However, it has remained uninhabited because my mother resented her father. However, the house has its own House Elves, which keep the place clean and the gardens in constant care," Severus stated unemotionally while staring into the fire. He'd never felt anything for his grandfather, he never even recalled seeing the man his whole life.
Staring into the fire, Severus could vaguely remember a time when his father didn't hate them, which had quickly changed when Severus was seven and it was hard for Eileen to keep hiding his displays of magic. Things had changed so drastically. While they were never a particularly joyful family, they hadn't been so dysfunctional until his father found out that his son was a wizard and his wife was a witch. That was when the abuse started and life had become truly miserable.
"Your mother loved gardening?" Samara asked. Severus turned his gaze to Samara and stared into her face. There was a very soft expression that welcomed him to talk more. It was a look of understanding, that wasn't at all like the look that Lily had given him. While Lily had understood his situation at home, she didn't know everything that went on at home and there was no way that she would ever be able to understand like Samara. There was no way that she would understand that kind of pain, growing with that kind of fear and anger.
"Herbology was her favorite subject and therefore she particularly loved flowers. Gardening was probably a strange hobby for someone as sulky and surly as my mother," Severus said as he looked away from Samara. He'd stopped playing with her hair and his hand was resting on her shoulder, unconsciously drawing her closer to him. "I moved out from my parents as soon as I turned seventeen, because I couldn't stand living with my father. A little later on in the year my grandfather passed away. My mother, passed away when I was nineteen, there was no funeral. I haven't seen my father since the day and Prince Manor passed into my possession, but I… I've grown quite accustomed to Spinner's end these past six years and haven't thought to move into it."
"Out of all the places you picked, why did you chose there?" Samara suddenly asked.
"I grew up on that street," he responded. Samara pulled away from him suddenly, looking quite confused. Severus turned his gaze at her, wondering why she had so suddenly moved. Her brows were knitted together as she stared at his face, her mouth turned into a frown. Severus frowned. "What is it Samara?" he asked, for he rarely ever saw her frown.
"You couldn't wait to get away from there, why would you want to live so close to the place where you suffered so much?" she asked in confusion. Severus blinked as he looked at her several times. His heart started to thud in his chest, giving him a dull kind of pain as he thought of his reason for moving into Spinner's End. It was all to stay closer to the Lily he had loved. He was already teaching at Hogwarts, and the only other place he'd been close to her was that park.
But he couldn't tell Samara that. How had she stumbled across a secret that only Dumbledore knew about, one that he did not want to talk to anyone about? Severus turned away from Samara and stared into the fire, thinking about the first year that he was teaching at Hogwarts, when Samara was a second year. Lily was still alive when he at first started to teach and then on October, oh so unexpectedly, the Dark Lord fell and the Potters were dead. Severus could still remember being called into Dumbledore's office that night and how distraught he'd been.
"To be closer to her," he responded, trying to sound cold as he stared into the fire. It wasn't a lie; he simply wasn't specifying who she was.
He didn't quite remember what he was like after that night. It seemed that the following months were a bit of a blur to him. He hardly remembered much from his first year teaching; even his memories of Samara herself that year were a bit of a blur. To keep the grief he felt from utterly taking over him, he'd given all his students far more homework to do to keep himself occupied in the evenings, to be able to think of nothing else but his work and go straight to sleep.
Severus looked over at the seventeen year old witch that was sitting there, her eyes analyzing him. She had the feeling that there was more to that response, but for now she accepted that. However, new questions were forming in her mind as she thought about the park at which he'd found her at. "Why did you go to the park that day?" she suddenly asked. Severus turned to her and furrowed his brow, not understanding what she meant. "The park that you found me at, why did you go there?" she asked.
"I was simply walking around, I went there as a child," he responded. Samara's eyes suddenly looked at him suspiciously.
"Why?" she asked. Severus sat up, staring to feel uneasy, wondering why her mind was so sharp.
"Why what? I was a child, is it strange for someone to go to a park as a child?" he asked mockingly as he narrowed his gaze on hers. He felt anger rising in him that her questions were nearing the subject that he did not like to talk about. He didn't want to tell Samara that not so long ago he'd been madly in love with Lily Potter. That would lead to other questions about his past and he didn't know if she would understand that in only a couple of years she'd completely taken over his heart.
Samara raised a brow at this, knowing that something was very off. She could see that he was beginning to get riled up and knew it had something to do with her questions. However, she didn't understand. There was something more to his moving to Spinner's End and she was sure it had something to do with that park. "I'm sorry but you don't strike me was the type to go to a park," she replied as she looked at him. She thought about her childhood and how much she hated going to the park. She hated to see all the children running around, playing with each other but completely ignoring her. Everyone was friends with someone there, and she would have been alone. She didn't want to be alone at a park. "Who was your playmate?"
Severus lost all color in his face as he stared at her. "Who said I had a playmate?" he asked as he stared at her. She raised a brow at this, smiling slightly at another clue. What did a muggle, childhood playmate have to do with Severus wanting to continue to live at Spinner's End. Who was the child that caused the Potions Master to return to the park for no reason at all?
"No one goes to the park to play alone," Samara said as she watched him. Severus turned away form Samara. Her eyes did indeed see far too much. Staring into the fire, he wondered what he should say. It was becoming apparent that her mind was far too sharp and that she was able to analyze him quite easily. He surmised that he wouldn't be able to lie to her and that he should tell her a little bit of the truth.
"If you must know, as I child, I came across a muggle-born witch. She was the only person that I ever considered a... friend. But when we came to Hogwarts she went to Gryffindor and I to Slytherin. That was the end of it, we grew apart. Her friends hated mine and mine hated hers and we couldn't be friends," he replied, oversimplifying everything that had happened and avoiding the whole mudblood incident. Samara really didn't need to know that as it led to all the complications that he didn't want to talk about.
"What was her name?" Samara asked gently curious. Severus looked over at Samara and could see that her sharp mind was appeased as she looked at him, her gaze wasn't quite as intense as a moment ago.
"Lily Evans," he replied simply, guessing that it wouldn't hurt for her to know. Samara furrowed her brow thinking back to something that Hagrid had once said to her when she was a first year. They'd been talking about the Head Boy and Head girl and how all the previous years they seemed to hate each other, always competing to be the student with the topmost grades and how now that they were Head Boy and Girl were actually dating. Hagrid had said something about a girl named Lily and a boy named James he'd once known that were exactly the same.
Samara turned her eyes to Severus and furrowed her brow in thought. She remembered when the Dark Lord fell very vaguely. It was the day after Halloween and there was a big celebration in the Great Hall in honor of the Dark Lords fall and in honor of the Potters. She remembered that Professor Snape had not been present and she also remembered the obituary of the Potters, which had their birth dates on them. Doing the math, she knew that they had to be the same year as Severus.
"Lily Potter?" she suddenly asked, catching Severus off guard. He didn't understand how she could possibly make the connection. However, he simply nodded as he eyed her curiously. "That's why you became harder on us in my second year, you didn't want to think about your estranged friend having passed away," Samara said as she looked at him. She remembered the occasion in her second year that she'd been sitting outside his door before Potions, reading her book near the end of the year. She'd meant to ask him why he was a different Professor than he'd been back in September, but decided against asking when she saw that he was in one of his moods. "There is nothing wrong with wanting to remember those that have passed."
Severus didn't say anything, but turned to look at the fire. Samara scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, and leaned her head on his shoulder. "You had a real friend Severus, that's more than anyone is granted sometimes. it's not wrong to want to be close to them in some way," she said, trying to comfort him. Looking over at her, he was relieved that she didn't see that he'd loved Lily. However, he supposed that was because Samara had never had a friend, not a real one and she must think that loosing someone that was a real friend was sufficient enough to make you grieve for a year and wanting to be close to them in anyway possible.
Turning his head slightly, he planted a kiss on the top of her head. "You deserve the world Samara," Severus said in a very low tone, feeling calmer now that they had dropped the tricky subject. Samara smiled as she looked into his eyes. There was an intense look in his eyes and she leaned in to plant a small kiss on the tip of his nose.
"I don't need the world, so long as I have you," she smiled. Severus smiled and shook his head. She was quite infectious.
TBC…
A/n: For anyone who ever wondered what Samara wanted to ask him in the first chapter, now you know. Anyway, I hope that everyone liked this chapter and will review! Thanks to everyone whose review, I love you guys!
