Chapter 8
Santana bussled around putting various items in two backpacks. She looked over into the kitchen to see Quinn getting together the picnic for later that afternoon. Chien and Grace were still taking their mid-morning nap to prepare for the afternoon the women had planned, so she got up and moved into the kitchen to wrapped her arms around Quinn.
"Baby? Do we have lots of juice and water for the kids," She asked, resting her head on the woman's shoulder.
"Lots of juice and water for you too," Quinn smiled, relaxing back into her embrace. "This will be fun, don't you think?" She turned and wrapped her arms around Santana's neck, leaning back against the counter as she regarded her wife. "Remember the first time I took you out to the pond?" she asked softly, leaning in to gently kiss her.
Santana giggled, "Yeah." She kissed her wife back softly, "I got into your pants." She smirked and nuzzled her neck.
Quinn laughed softly, "Only cause I wanted you to." She let her hand trace down to cup Santana's cheek, regarding her quietly for a moment with a gentle smile. "I love you, Santana. So very much. You make my life worth living."
"And you make mine worth living too." She whispered, "I wanna ask you something..."
"Of course," she smiled at her, lopsidedly. "You can always ask me anything, baby. You know that."
"When we get the final approval for the adoptions..." She swallowed, "I want to try to have another child... I want to do it while were still young." She said, the lingering and i'm healthy, loomed over their heads as Santana spoke.
"Are you sure?" Quinn asked, brushing a hand through Santana's hair. "I thought you'd want to wait until they're a little older. I mean, I'm fine if you want to. I want to have your baby, San." She smiled at her, "I really want to see you get to hold your own little boy or girl now after seeing you with our kids. I want to see you in that ridiculous gown standing beside me holding our baby."
"I..." She cleared her throat and closed her eyes for a moment. "I want to have enough time with them all." She looked at her wife. "I want to be able to see them grow up and go to college and get married... If... If we wait, I wont have enough time."
"What?" Quinn looked confused as she smiled at Santana, feeling like her heart was dropping out of her chest. "What are you talking about, San? Of course you'll have time. We're doing everything right and you're fine." She licked her lips nervously, "You're fine, right?"
"Yeah, baby." She smiled, "I'm fine." She pressed a kiss to her wife's lips. "But we both know that could change anytime now. It's been almost 30 years..." She rubbed her eyes. "I just want to have as much time with them as I can."
"We can look into IVF as soon as you want, baby. But you're gonna stick around for a long time." Quinn brushed her hand through Santana's hair again, smiling at her even while her heart whimpered in fear of the future, "We're gonna grow old and grey together, remember? We promised."
"I know baby." She smiled, "I just wanna see you pregnant." She joked softly and kissed her wife hard. "I love you so much, and I'm gonna be fine. Don't worry your pretty head about it."
"Of course I'm going to worry about it, idiot," she laughed though it sounded a bit forced, "I need you to be okay, remember? I'm kind of a mess without you. That's why it's my job to keep track of your meds and everything."
Santana forced a bright smile, hating thinking about the future but knowing that one of them had to. "Want to go get the kids up while I get the horses ready?" She asked as she pressed another kiss to her wife's lips.
"Yeah, sure. I'll be out with them in a little while. You sure you don't need any help?" She asked as she smiled at her wife, trying to make the fright from moment ago go away before she went up to get their kids ready.
"I'm okay, baby." she smiled. "I'll grab the swim things on my way down."
"I'll get the kids in their suits so don't worry about that." Quinn smiled at her, smacking her ass as she headed out, "Hope you've got yours on. Much as I love you in less, the kids would be traumatized."
Santana pushed the yoga pants down on her hipbone showing her wife the purple bikini. "yes I am." she smiled, "you better be too."
Quinn laughed, then pulled her shirt up to expose her red bikini top, "No worries. I only go nude with an audience of one Santana Lopez and no one else." She dropped her top, gesturing down her body, "Your eyes are the only ones that will ever see this body nude as long as I live."
"I like that," she smiled. "Go get the babies," she added as she put the picnic backpack on her back and carried the other bag to the barn.
"Yes, mistress," Quinn teased, running up the stairs with a shout of laughter as Santana swiped at her ass.
Forty minutes later, they were mounted up on Pony and Johnny, Quinn's piebald gelding, with a child nestled in front of them, ambling out towards the pond. Quinn glanced over at Santana as she pointed out things to an awe-struck Grace with a smile. She could still remember when her wife had to ride double with her because she was unable to ride alone. It was an almost bittersweet memory - when Santana had first come to the farm, she'd needed Quinn so much more than she did now - but she cherished it.
"Mae," Chien whispered, tapping her thigh to get her attention, "what's that?"
"What?" she looked around for a moment before she saw the fox peeking out of the underbrush. She smiled softly, leaning down, "Oh. That's a fox. She might be guarding her kits, so we'll leave her be, okay?"
He nodded, "Okay."
Grace wore her little sunglasses and a hat to protect her from the sun as they rode. Santana held onto her tightly so she wouldn't wiggle her way off her lap. "When you're big, Mae and I will teach you how to ride all by yourself."
"Ride!" Grace clapped, bouncing on Santana's lap, "Like! Momma! Ride!"
"Don't bounce, baby." She said softly, holding her tightly against her form.
Chien looked over to check on Grace and Santana before turning back to snuggle into Quinn. "Mae? Where going?"
"We're going out to the pond. It's a special place for your Momma and I. I taught her to swim there and if you'll let us, we'd like to teach you and Grace," she leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "That's what the special clothes are for. So you can't sink."
"Oh." He said softly, "What if I scared?" he asked, "Was Momma scared?" he asked as his fingers played with the horses hair.
"She was," Quinn glanced over at Santana with a smirk, "and she didn't have special clothes like you and Grace do. But I promised I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her and she's such a great swimmer now. Even if she did knock me underwater on more than one occasion," she teased, raising her voice so Santana could clearly hear her.
"Hey!" Santana laughed, "You dropped me in the pool." She said looking over to her wife. "But it's okay... we will teach you and Grace how to swim in your fancy swim suits."
"I wouldn't have dropped you if you'd just relaxed and trusted me instead of struggling," Quinn laughed. "But she's right, we'll teach you to swim and it's much shallower in the pond than in the pool where Santana first tried learning."
Santana walked the horse up the the post that she had manufactured over the years to tie the horses. She waited for Quinn to dismount and get Chien off the horse before handing her Grace. "My hips are still bad for dismounting." She said softly as she got to the ground. She pulled the blanket off Pony and rubbed his back before kissing his neck. She rarely wore a saddle with her horse anymore and she trusted him, and they had been working together for a long time. She tied him to the post and then Quinn's horse.
"Do you want to have lunch or swim first?" Santana asked.
"Swim," Quinn replied, helping the kids off with their outer layers of shirts and shorts. "Then we can eat and maybe nap a little before heading back. How's that sound to you guys?"
Chien nodded slowly, looking at the water uncertainly in his little blue and grey body suit. "Okay," he looked at Santana, "can you help me learn to swim, Momma?"
"Of course," She smiled, pulling her t-shirt off followed by her pants. She grabbed the towels and put then on the stump. "This suit has special floating foam in it," She pointed out the middle section of foam around his stomach. "Keeps you up above water." She smiled and took his hand. "Wanna just put your feet in it first? Then decided if we wanna go in?"
He nodded nervously looking at the water and holding her hand tightly. "Y-yes please. I'm scared, Momma," he admitted softly.
"I was scared too at first." She smiled and moved them so they just had their feet in the sun warmed water. "See? Nothing too scary about it."
"It's dark," he whispered, shivering slightly at the cool water. "I can't see in it. What if there's a monster?"
"No monsters in here. It's too shallow." She explained, "Plus, monsters can't live in ponds they're too small." She smiled, "Remember when we read that book about the monsters?" She asked, him. He nodded, "Remember that monsters are more scared of us then we are them? Even if monsters lived here or existed they wouldn't hurt any of us."
"You're sure?" He looked up at Santana trustingly. "No monsters? None at all here? Monsters are real, Momma. But not here. Right?
"I don't know if monsters are real or not, buddy. But no monsters in here. Just water and maybe a fishy."
"Fishy?" His eyes lit up, "Where? Is it tasty? Can we eat it?" He looked around interestedly, taking another step into the water until it was nearly up to his knees.
She let out a laugh, "No, we can't eat it." She smiled, "It's a little sunfish, not very tasty. Not like dinner fish... we can go fishing and get dinner fish ourselves sometime or maybe Mister Jon at the farmers market will tell us where we can go fishing? Want to do that sometime?"
"Really?" He looked up at Santana with wide eyes, "We can fish? We can get ourselves? Can we please? If I learn swimming we can fish?"
"Of course." She smiled, looking back to where Quinn was slathering sunscreen into Grace. "I'll ask when when we go to the market on Sunday." She smiled, "When we get all of our veggies."
"Yay!" He cheered then nodded determinedly, looking around at the water. "Okay. How swim? I learn now."
"Alright," She took his hand and moved out into the water until Chien started to float. "You okay?" She asked him as they moved where he couldn't touch the ground anymore.
He clung tightly to her hand with both of his, scared when he was floating freely. "Don't let go!" he yelped, kicking for the ground that wasn't in reach anymore. "Please don't, Momma!"
She moved him closer and held onto him. "I got you, Chien," she whispered as she made sure no water got onto his face.
"How swim?" He whispered frightened by the way the water splashed up from his movements, "How, Momma? I don't like this."
"First, you need to calm down and take a big deep breath." She said calmly, "Remember that I'm here and nothing will happen to you."
He trembled but very deliberately took as big a breath as he could. "O-okay," he whispered, taking another one. "Now what?"
"Kick your legs slowly, move them back and forth." She said.
He did so, clinging to Santana's arm. His eyes widened as he realized he was moving in the water. "I'm moving, Momma!" He looked up at her, shifting his weight and accidentally rolling under the water for a moment. He jerked up, spitting out the pond water with a surprised splash. "I sink!"
"Silly boy," She said as she wiped his face. "Don't sink! You gotta kick your legs and then move your arms like this." She showed him and waited for him to mimic her.
He tried again, but again his face went in the water. He wiped at his face when he got back upright. "Why is it not work, Momma?"
"It's okay to get your face wet, Chien," Quinn called from closer to the shore where she was sitting with Grace in the shallows, the little girl splashing happily in the cool water. "Just hold your breath when your face is in the water. It's okay. Santana will take care of you."
"We just gotta practice." She smiled and helped him swim and she took his hands and helped him move around.
"See?" Quinn laughed, watching him splash around Santana and imagining her helping their baby swim when they got big enough. "You can do it, Chien! Go, Chien! Right, Gracie?"
"Go!" Grace laughed, splashing in the water. She pointed at Chien, "Swim?"
"That's right, sweetie. Chien's swimming with Momma's help." She hugged the little girl in her lap.
Grace pointed at herself curiously, "Swim?"
"If you want," she nodded. "Do you want to swim?"
The little girl nodded firmly. "Swim! Che-che!"
Santana helped move Chien around and get the motions of kicking his legs and moving his arms at the same time. She smiled when she saw Quinn and Grace coming closer. "Hi, pretty girls."
"Hi," Quinn smirked, helping Grace lay on her back and splash, carefully supporting her so her play didn't push her under the water, "our princess wanted to swim with her knight."
"Awe, our very own little mermaid." She smiled and kissed her wife. "Chien is doing very well." She remarked as she helped him swim over to his sister.
"Chien is doing amazing," Quinn complimented, encouraging Grace to kick with her legs instead of just letting them hang down. "How's Grace doing?" she asked the little girl.
Grace kicked awkwardly. "Swim!" she chirped happily. "Swim!"
"Chien, look at Gracie use her legs!" She smiled and swam with him.
"Good job, Baby-Grace!" he said.
"Swim!" Grace chirped, splashing noisily more than actually swimming. "Swim! Che-che! Swim!"
"That's right, sweetie," Quinn laughed, letting her go to Santana. "San, do you mind watching them for a second while I go a bit deeper?"
"Of course," she smiled before sliding Grace into her arms as Chien practiced his swimming.
"Thanks, beautiful," Quinn smiled, giving her a quick kiss before taking a deep breath and smoothly diving under the water, swimming out to the middle of the pond.
When she didn't pop back up right away, Chien started looking around worriedly. "Mae?" he called, anxiously, "Mae? Momma, where's Mae? She's gone! Did monsters get her?"
"Monsters?!" Grace screamed, looking around frightenedly for kittens and rats.
"No. No monsters!" She calmed down Grace, "She went under the water, see?" she pointed, "She's right there."
Almost as if summoned by Santana's pointing her out, Quinn popped up out of the water and slicked her hair back, waving at the kids. After a moment, she started swimming back in towards them with a strong freestyle stroke. Once she reached them, she smiled. "Hey, guys. What's wrong?"
Chien shot towards her, pushing off Santana and making her stagger slightly in the water. "Mae, you disappeared!"
She caught him before he could knock her down. "I was just swimming underwater, sweetie. It's okay."
"Don't go! Don't!" He clung to her, arms and legs wrapping around her body.
She looked confusedly over at Santana, but wrapped her arms around him to hold him tight. "It's okay, buddy. I won't."
Chien cried against her neck. "Don't go..." he whispered and clung to her. Santana focused on Grace and making sure she didn't think the pond had kittens or rats.
"I won't, Chien. It's okay. I'll teach you to swim underwater if you want. It's not scary, I promise." She ran a hand up and down his back, trying to reassure him. "It's okay, buddy. I'm right here."
"Thought you got lost..." he whispered, "I needs you. Momma and Baby-Grace needs you... don't get lost."
"I won't, Chien," Quinn whispered, hugging him tight and kissing the side of his head. "I promise. I'll always be here for you and Momma and Gracie. I promise you. I won't get lost."
"Okay." He whispered, "You taught Momma how to swims? I'm doing okay?"
"You're doing great," she smiled down at him, nodding over at where Santana and Grace were swimming. "Look. You came all this way by yourself. That's pretty far, don't you think?"
"Wow." He gaped as he looked over to grace and Santana. "I swimmed far."
"Mmhmm," Quinn nodded. "See what you can do when you try? Think you can swim back to Santana or do you need me to swim with you? I promise, I'll be right here if you want to try by yourself."
"I try to swim to Momma and Baby-Grace." He said as she turned and worked to go through the water and make his way slowly back to his other parent.
"San, baby, head's up," Quinn called, watching proudly as Chien awkwardly dog paddled through the water towards her wife. "You've got an incoming super swimmer."
Santana looked up, "Look at you!" She smiled and Grace clapped as she saw her brother coming closer.
"Swimmy! Swim!" She giggled as she opened her arms for Chien.
Chien was panting softly when he wrapped his arms around Grace and Santana. "Momma, I swimmed! I swimmed far!" He looked back anxiously to make sure that Quinn was still where he left her and she waved at him.
"Look at you!" Santana smiled before laughing when Grace moved to give him a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
"Swimmy!" Grace giggled, "Che-Che! Fishy!"
"Yes, he's our little fishy!" Santana agreed.
"And you were scared they wouldn't be able to handle it," Quinn teased, swimming over. "Look at our little swimmers, San. They're perfect." She watched the kids paddling around with a smile, unaware of how Santana was watching her.
Santana watched Quinn longingly, she had been thinking a lot more about her mortality lately. About her family and their future, she smiled and watched her lover and their kids laugh and play in the water. Quinn felt her watching and looked up, smiling that special smile that had always been just for her. The one that lit up her entire face and made her look like the happiest person on the planet. The same one she'd smiled when they'd promised each other forever with their wedding vows.
"Hey, beautiful," Quinn laughed, "take a photo, it'll last longer." She reached out a hand to Santana, "Getting hungry? We can eat if you want. It'll be time for you and Chien to take your medicines soon too."
"You're such a good mom." Santana whispered, kissing her lover's lips. "Play with them a little bit longer and I'll get lunch set up."
"You sure?" Quinn looked up at her with a slow smile after the kiss, "I mean, you can play with them longer if you'd like. I don't mind setting up. Unless you're getting tired?" There was a trace of worry in her eyes as she asked.
"No, no." she replied, "you like the water more than me. Play with the kids." Santana stated before heading out of the water. She wrapped a towel around her waist, no longer ashamed of the scars and burns from her life before she came to live with Quinn. She laid out the blanket and grabbed the empty bucket and got some water for the horses before she started to lay out the lunch Quinn prepared.
Chien followed her out and sat down on the blanket, watching her. "Momma, where did you get hurts?" he asked softly, pointing at the faded scars on her body.
Quinn and Grace were splashing each other in the water, giggling and laughing. After she'd seen Chien heading out of the water towards Santana, Quinn hadn't been too worried about him. She knew her wife would never let anything happen to their son.
"Those are from along time ago." she smiled sadly, "Before I found your Mae and Grandmas." She pulled her wet hair back into a braid.
"Like my hurts?" he asked softly, his fingers instinctively going to the scars on his shoulder and legs. "From the bad place? I wish you weren't hurt, Momma. I wish I could have protected you like Baby-Grace."
Santana sat down and kissed his shoulder on the scar. "I wish I could have protected you, too," she said, "but we're strong, right? We got better."
"Most better," he shrugged, "not all. Still sick. Take medicines. Not all better."
"Sadly, we both can't make that go away." she wrapped a towel around him. "but medications make us stronger."
He nodded, cuddling into the sun-warmed towel as he looked up at her. "Momma, will Mae and Baby-Grace be okay if we get more sick? I worried about them."
"Y-you're not gonna get more sick for a very, very long time." She assured him. "M-mae and Grace will have you for a long time."
"What about you?" He looked up at her with his big brown eyes, pleading with her to be okay too. "You're going to be around for a long time too, right? Mae needs you and so does Baby-Grace and me. You're our Momma. We need you."
She leaned down and kissed his head. "I'm gonna be here for as long as I can. I'm not gonna go anywhere until I see you grow up big and strong, okay? That I promise."
"Need you, Momma," he whispered, reaching up to wrap his arms around her neck. "It's scary when you're gone. Don't go. Please don't."
"I won't, sweetie." She said softly holding him tightly. "i'm not going anywhere."
"Don't ever," he cried softly into her neck. "I'll miss you and Mae and Baby-Grace will cry. Please don't ever go away like my mae and bao did..."
"Don't cry baby," She cooed into his ear. "Today's a happy day. You learned how to swim and rode on a horse." She said with a smile, "I'm gonna be taking care of you and grace for a long time okay? Don't be sad." She wiped his tears, "I love you so much. Do you know how much I love you?"
He shook his head, hiccuping as he tried to stop crying. "N-no..."
"I love you this..." She stretched her arms out as long as they could go. "Much."
"I love you more," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist and hugging her as tight as he could.
"How about to the moon and back?" She offered, "Because that's how much I love you, mae and Grace." She kissed his head and held him tightly until he settled down, "Now, no more sad. Mae and Baby-Grace are coming and it's lunch time."
He looked up hopefully, tears forgotten, "Strawberry-ade?"
"You know it." She smiled and got out the thermos. She smiled when Quinn and Grace sat down in towels. "Enjoy your swim, ladies?"
"Yes," Quinn sighed, collapsing dramatically onto the blanket beside Santana with a giggling Grace wrapped around her like a koala. "I have no idea how you kept up with her, Chien, because your little sister is a dynamo."
He looked confused. "What's a... dynamo?" he asked Santana, drawing the word out as he figured out how to pronounce it.
"Lots of energy," Santana explained as she handed Quinn a glass of strawberry-ade after getting the kids' cups settled. Santana took a sip of her water bottle and smiled, "She does have a lot of energy for someone who looks like a woodland creature."
"Boogie-oogie!" Grace laughed, bouncing up and down after sliding down into Quinn's lap.
"Ow, bony-butt," Quinn grimaced with a laugh, picking the little girl up and setting her bouncy self down beside her big brother. "You can boogie-oogie over here."
"Che-che!" she proclaimed happily, leaning over and hugging him tight, "Swim!"
"Uh-huh," he smiled at her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "We swimmed with Momma and Mae. Did you have fun?"
She nodded happily. "Fun! Swim! Love!" She tapped her mouth with her fist, a big grin on her face.
"Someone is gonna sleep well tonight." Santana remarked as she went about getting the food set out. She put out the peanut butter sandwiches, the fruit salad and a single pudding cup for the kids to share. "Who's hungry?"
"Me!" Grace chortled, waving her hand in the air like she saw kids doing on the few TV shows their moms let them watch.
"Me too," Chien added, softer, pulling his sister into his lap and leaning against Santana's side.
"Guess that makes all of us then," Quinn smiled at Santana, taking a sandwich from her. "Thanks for setting things out, love."
"My pleasure." she helped she kids get a plate put together before moving to share a plate with her wife. She leaned against her as the kids chatted away to each other.
"Great idea, baby," Santana remarked.
"We needed it," Quinn shrugged, wrapping an arm around Santana's waist and cuddling her as they ate. "We needed a day to just be a family together and not worry about stuff so much." She tilled Santana's head up so she could smile down at her. "And maybe I wanted to get you away from that barn for a little bit," she teased before leaning down to kiss her softly.
"I like my barn," she pouted, "but yeah... everything's kinda crazy right now so having a day to just be together is nice."
"We should make a habit of it," Quinn smiled, just enjoying being with her family. "I've missed you lately. Just being with you like this."
"We've been busy." She smiled, "between work, the legal crap, learning to be parents and keeping up with the bills... it's been insane."
"You've kept me sane," she reached up and gently scratching Santana's head. "All these years and all I ever have to do is look at you and see you smiling at me and it makes it all worth it. I'd marry you all over again if I could."
"We should renew our vows someday. Like after we have the baby and whatever." she smiled and ate a quarter of her sandwich.
"I like that idea," Quinn smiled. "I'd especially like it if Chien and Grace could be a part of it. It'd be nice for someone to give me to you someday, not that I didn't love seeing you walk down the aisle on Cindy's arm, baby."
"I think that would be so beautiful, Q." She smiled, "I love you more everyday."
"I could be a total sap and say I love you more, but I think you already know that." Quinn laughed, winking at her wife and taking a swig of her drink.
"I think that you're wrong." she smiled, "I believe you mentioned something about a nap?"
"I believe our kids are ahead of us," Quinn whispered, nodding to where the children had fallen asleep in a little pile on the other side of the blanket. Stretching out, she opened her arms for Santana to crawl into. "Come here, beautiful. My turn to hold you."
Santana pushed the food aside and moved so the couple were close to Chien and Grace. "I love you." she whispered and cuddled into her wife's arms. she placed her hands on Quinn's stomach and stroked it.
Quinn laughed softly, stroking Santana's back. "I'm not gonna be able to keep your hands off my belly when I'm actually pregnant, am I?" she teased gently. "You're gonna be so beautiful when you finally get to hold our baby, San. I'm gonna need a picture of it to keep forever."
"I'm pretty much gonna be even more attached to you then ever before." Santana smiled, "You're gonna be so stunning pregnant..."
"Mmm," she held Santana close, "you better take your vitamins cause some of the things I've read about pregnancy hormones..." she trailed off with a soft growl, nipping at her wife's nose. "I might end up being so turned on by you, baby. Hope you'll be up to it."
"I'll stock up on Gatorade," she smirked, "and buy the kids earplugs." she smiled and nuzzled with her. After a few moments she felt Chien and Grace snuggle into her back, then Grace climbed up on them. "And a bedroom door lock."
Quinn laughed softly, snuggling with her family. "Sounds like a plan, babe. Come on, let's get some sleep before our monkeys wake back up."
Santana brought her son onto her body and brought him into the warm snuggle. "Love you." she said as she drifted off. One hand still pressed against Quinn's stomach.
"I love you too," Quinn whispered, quietly watching over her family sleeping until sleep finally took her over too.
