Chapter 49
The next few weeks went well, the Gryffindor team was ahead on house points, and James was still the Quiddich hero. Lily a few times had to remind James that she was only dating him because he had deflated his overly large ego and that he'd need to come back to earth before she started to date some other boy. This was accidentally over heard by a group of boys walking by them who all eagerly told her they'd be glad to take over for James. James for his part was not amused and promised to jinx the lot of them if they forgot she was his girl.
Lily walked off laughing; James looked surprised then ran off after her.
"I just hope any kids we have, have my personality, I'm not sure this school could take another one like you." Lily had told him as they walked down the hall and a group of girls all tittered excitably at James while waving their hands and winking at him. James ego would always grow accessibly with this attention. Lily would smack the back of his head to deflate it for him. Afterwards James hauled her to a dark corner to snog.
James after that had brought his ego down and was back again to being his sweet pleasant self. He was also excited that she talked about them having children together.
Lily had been worried about something else though, she seemed to see less and less of Severus. She had not known where he was on their free times and had hoped among the chilling days of walking through the halls she would see him and be able to say hello.
Lily didn't voice her concerns though, she knew James would not be fussed about not seeing him and her other friends would only laugh saying it was a relief to not have him around.
Lily did see him in classes, but he never approached her or she thought acknowledged that she was even in the classroom.
Lily fretted about it but was also so busy with school work and learning all the new and more advanced magic they had to know for their NEWTS, she had been hoping that he was just very busy himself with school work and was holed up in his common room studying. Of course March meant a birthday party for James who was now eighteen. He though said it was not a big deal since you became an adult at seventeen so this one was just another birthday for him. Lily told him muggles consider is a big deal so to deal with her giving him a party. The work party though made it easier to handle.
The Easter Holliday had soon arrived with a very windy April; the wind was rattling all the windows and causing people to be blown off course as they walked through the yard to their outdoor classes. Lily had bought James a large chocolate egg with their initials on it. The egg was also filled with Bertie Botts every flavor beans. Lily was very surprised with the chocolate rabbit with golden eyes that turned out to be real earrings. Lily cleaned the chocolate off and put the earrings on. She loved them and was quite happy to lavish James with many kisses. He was just as happy to encourage her to lavish him with more kisses.
That night they had planned an outing again, they felt the time was right to have some fun before they graduated and before Moony's little furry problem.
The five of them were quietly sneaking through the halls toward the Forbidden Forest.
Lily was whispering as she held up a small blue bottle. "I have this so if we have a bit too much to drink we can still get sober before we're caught or anything."
Lily showed the bottle to the boys who were all looking at it with interest.
"What is it?" James asked curiously taking it from her for closer inspection.
Lily smiled as they ducked down behind a suit of armor as a few ghosts floated by.
"It's call sobering solution, no matter how drunk you are this will instantly sober you up. I got the idea from Sluggy; I figured it's what he had given us before. I don't want to end up like that again. We've been lucky so far in ducking out of his little meetings but if we're caught again I doubt we'll be able to get out of it."
"That's my girl." James kissed her cheek. He was very proud of her skills. He slipped the small bottle back into her pocket. Sirius, Remus and Peter all thanked her for making it.
"Looks like the coast is clear, let's head out." Sirius told them as they all started to walk on again. They saw no one as they walked out the front door. Once outside the five of them changed with Peter climbing up onto Prongs antlers and started to lope across the lawn toward the woods.
About half way through the woods Lily slowed to a walk then stopped altogether. The four boys looked at her in surprise. James and Sirius changed back with a small pop.
"What's wrong Evans, I thought you were in great shape?" Sirius asked her with a smirk.
Lily popped back into her form. "I am, but if all you guys want to do is look at the centaur fillies boobs I'm going to go off and explore something else."
The guys looked embarrassed and shuffled their feet around.
"Come on what… makes you think that's what we're doing?" James asked without looking her in the eye.
"Hmmm let me think oooh yeah. The centaur village is that way and the females never leave it." Lily said with a touch of sarcasm, while pointing off to the woods.
"You guys have fun; I'll see ya in the village later." Lily popped back to her own doe form and cantered off in another direction.
"Girls they just don't get it." Sirius was watching after her fleeing form. "Ah well lets go." Sirius changed back to his large black dog form and headed off with James looking apprehensively after her. James finally changed into his stag form and followed his friends.
Lily walked quietly through the forest, now since she was alone she didn't want to disturb any of the odd things that lived in here. Lily did cast a few glances behind her in the hope that James at least had followed her instead. She gave a few snorts of disgust when she didn't notice him back there.
Boys'. She thought with antipathy. She walked farther along looking around at the trees and shrubs to see what wild animals she saw around her when she started to hear voices. Lily slowed down even more to try and discern the sound and the intent of the voices.
Lily peeked in through some branches to see a group all in black masks and long black capes. There was an older man who looked positively creepy making Lily's skin crawl. Lily was sure she knew who he was even if she had never seen him. It was He-who-must-not-be-named.
Lily couldn't for the life of her figure out why he was in the Forbidden Forest with a group of his followers, the most evil Death Eaters.
Lily felt her feet were now frozen to the ground as she listens to him talking about the assignments he wanted them to fulfill for him.
"Some of you shall be finished with school soon and I will have even more challenging assignments for you to complete. I also have something special in mind for you, something that will fit your personality perfectly." The cold voice was enough to make Lily feel like fainting with fear.
"Thank you master, I am most grateful." The person bowed their head to him.
Lily backed up a step she knew that voice only too well, and this scene was chilling her to her very soul now. Lily stepped on a twig, which snap with a loud crack, the Death Eaters and Voldermort all turned to the sound. Lily froze as a deer in headlights would.
Snape had walked over quickly being closest to the sound. It seemed as though he was there before Lily had taken another breath.
Lily looked at him with her wide green scared eyes as he looked at her with his black endless night sky eyes through a horrible black mask.
"Nothing but a deer, it ran off." Snape said as he turned back to the group. Lily felt as though she was going to pass out as she back up another step. Lily was very unsure what to do or think now.
Voldermort nodded feeling reassured. "Now Snape, I want you to train Igor to be a spy and to fade into the background as you do." He looked over at Igor a slight smile on his face. "It seems he is enjoying his self-raping the young woman but I need him to be more useful to me than that,"
"I understand sir," Snape grinned he knew only too well that Igor raped any female that he was given a chance with even after they had died. He had told him several times it was creepy but Igor would just laugh and say. "It's their punishment before and after death."
"Now I shall also give you some other things to do for me but that shall be in private," He looked at Snape the others in the group looking sulky. He turned around looking at his most loyal Death Eaters, including many of their fathers who had brought their sons and daughters into his family.
"Just the same you have your orders, back to your school and we shall meet again." Voldermort turned on the spot and was gone. The older men were also gone in a pop. The others all started talking excitably as they headed back for the school. Lily could hear Bellatrix LeStrange loud annoying cackle as she talked and laugh before she popped out of the woods.
Lily didn't dare move in case someone heard her, she had heard about them using animals as target practice and had no desire for them to use her for it. She had even less desire to let them know she was out of school as a doe alone in the woods. The Death Eaters voices were now very dim; she felt they were sufficiently far enough away she could leave without them seeing her.
Lily took a step back ready to bounce away from here when a voice stopped her.
"Li, what are you doing here?" Severus was stunned to have found her out here in the woods.
Lily cursed under her breath she knew she gave herself away as she turned to look at Severus; he had taken his mask off and was standing looking sadly at her.
Lily turned away, her deer eyes somehow filling with tears.
Lily jumped as a hand moved along her furry back.
"I know it's you Li, you think I wouldn't know your eyes even in deer form. I also saw you in deer form parts in class remember?" Snape ran his hand along her neck, Lily shivered.
"Li are… I mean….. You're not sc.. Scared of me are you?" The pain in his voice was potent and stung her heart.
Lily took a step away from him, her whole body shivering.
"Li you've known I've joined up since our fifth year here." Snape told her softly. He thought maybe it was seeing it here in the reality of it that scared her or maybe the other Death Eaters.
A loud pop was heard as Lily rounded on him. "What do you mean I've known since fifth year, I didn't, I can't… why Sev, why." Lily burst into tears and popped back into doe form and ran as fast as her legs would carry her away.
Severus was left standing there in confusion as he watched her disappear into the dark.
"Did someone modify your memory of it? But who did and why?" Snape asked no one he turned to walk off toward the school his heart feeling even heavier than before.
By the time Snape had made it to the school, he had come to the conclusion that it was James Potter and his mates who had made her forget that part of her life and then wondered what else they made her forget about him. Snape was feeling even more resentment toward the Marauders now. He walked into the common room to see his house mates all gathered around the fire place.
"What took you so long?" Igor asked sounding amused.
"It better not be another girl." Narcissa told him sticking her bottom lip out.
"No I was just getting a snack from the kitchen." Severus told them taking a seat in an arm chair. He was surprised when Narcissa got up and sat in his lap.
"Did you bring me something?" She asked batting her eye lashes.
"Uh sure here have this." Severus told her handing her a crème puff. She squealed happily taking the sweet from him. Severus raised one eye brow at her wondering what was so thrilling about it. He sighed at this time wondering when she would get off his lap and return to her own seat. Narcissa though had settled in on his lap and had no desire to leave it. He tried to talk normally with his friends looking around her while she licked her fingers slowly of crème.
Lily had made it into the town of Hogsmeade and went straight to the Hog Head inn.
Lily had ordered five glasses of fire whiskey expecting the boys to show up soon. After she drank the first five, she ordered five more of them. Lily sipped her own glass more slowly so the boys would have their drinks ready for when they showed up.
Lily though had finished these drinks as well. She was feeling very emotional right now and felt the tears leak through her closed eyelids as she remembered Snape in his black cape and mask, she suddenly didn't like him in black. She was also becoming even more irate with James and the others. She ordered another round of five. Lily drank them with gusto. Lily tried to stand up fell back then finally managed to get up and stagger to the bar.
"I wansss fivsss morsssssss." Lily hiccup then cried out. "BOYS"
Lily stood crying at the bar when the barman walked around. Alberforth pulled Lily around to face the door.
"You've had enough kiddo, head back to school." Alberforth gave Lily a little push out the door. "Good night Lily Evans."
"Niihtsss mezzz tooosss." Lily burst into tears again and yelled "BOYS."
Lily walked slowly toward what she hoped was the school, it seemed to be some where she thought as her mind screamed at her over and over.
Why is he, why didn't they show up why did he where are they?
"Lily"
Lily stopped to look around; she saw James and his mates come running up to her. She cried some more.
"Where are you going…? Are you drunk?" James asked her. James tried to reach into her pockets to remove the small bottle. Lily batted his hand away.
"Youze BOYS" Lily didn't seem able to come up with a better description. She glared such anger and hate at them right now the other three boys backed up a few steps unsure if they wanted to get that close to an drunk angry girl
James made another bid for the bottle and was successful this time. "Here Lily take a drink of this." James held the bottle to her.
"Dun wantits." Lily turned to leave with another yell of "BOYS"
James grabbed her from behind and pulled her to a stop and quickly tipped the bottle to her mouth. Lily's head cleared and she was able to stand upright. Lily looked at the four boys who seemed to think the worse was finally over. They all backed up several feet as she glared at them, her eyes thin slits of green fire.
"You low life despicable no good scum's, how could, you do that to me! How could you let that happen and why weren't you there when. When…"A loud resounding smack rent through the night air as Lily slapped James upside the head. Lily burst into tears turn and changed into a deer instantly and ran off into the dark.
"What happen?" James asked scared and bewildered holding his cheek.
"I don't know but she seemed ready to kill, I didn't think she had it in her?" Sirius said awed.
"I wonder what will happen when she realizes she's not heading to the school." Remus commented.
"Ah man we need to find her and get her to the school." James said but then a second later before he could change to a stag a doe ran head long into him knocking him over as it cantered full tilt to the school.
"I guess she figured it out." Lupin said as though this was an everyday occurrence. He had a smirk playing over his face before they burst into laughter.
The four boys rushed off toward the school James leading the way his heart beating hard as he worried about Lily.
The four boys walked inside keeping to the shadows and watchful for any teachers who might be heading by.
They made it in good time to the common room. James woke the Fat Lady up, with the password, Pastybuns
They crawled in expecting to see Lily by the fire waiting to talk to them and with hope calm enough not to scare them with just a look.
"Where is she, the girl's dormitories?" he asked worried for the love of his life.
"Most likely, but no way to find out since we can't go up there," Sirius looked at the girls' door with the other boys wondering if she might come down.
"I'm gonna wait here for her." James flopped down on a chair, looking apprehensive. "She might come back down or maybe someone will come out and I can ask them to get her."
"We'll wait with ya." Sirius took another seat, with Peter and Remus taking seats as well. They went to speculating what could have been wrong. James worried it was because he went off with his mates to look at bare chest fillies.
It was at least a half hour of silence when the portrait opened up. The four boys looked to see Lily crawling in through it and stepping down lightly her face down cast.
"Evans, where were you?" James asked worried as he turned in his seat, clearly expecting her to come over to him. Lily looked up at him her eyes red and puffy, but glaring at them just the same.
She said nothing as she headed toward the girls rooms. James jumped up and bounded over the furniture and ran toward Lily catching her before she reached the door.
"Lily what's wrong?" James asked the sound of anguish in his voice.
"I– am –not– talking –to –you, –let –go –of–me." Lily said in a cold controlled voice.
"NO!" James pulled her toward him trying to make her face him.
The other three boys quickly headed for the boys rooms. James and Lily had not noticed them leaving.
"I'm sorry I didn't realize you'd be so mad about us looking at the fillies, if I had known we wouldn't have gone." James tried to pull her into his embrace. Lily pushed him back.
"I am not mad about that!" Lily turned to grab the door when James once again grabbed her.
"What then please tell me?" James asked pleading in his voice.
Lily stood her body trembling in pain and fear.
James wrapped his arms around her stroking her back gently. "I love you Evans, I'll do anything to make you feel better." James said softly.
"There isn't anything you can do." Lily said into his chest, she still had not wrapped her own arms around him.
"Try me if not I'll fake it well." James continued to hold her close. "Please Lily don't cut me out of your emotions."
Lily looked up into his hazel eyes. "I …. I ….. Can't …. Not yet." Lily turned from his embrace and flung open the door running up the stairs. James ran up the stairs after her a loud clanging happen and the stairs went flat turning into a slide.
Lily had come, sliding fast back down the stairs to land hard on top of James who was lying on the floor in the common room.
"What did you do that for?" Lily huffed as she stood up.
"Because I'm not letting you go up there and ignore me, I want you to talk to me whether you want to or not."
Lily was glaring at him. "Fine then if you're going to be that way." Lily walked over to the large stuff couch and flopped down hard on to it. James sat down next to her; he was going to put an arm around her but changed his mind at the last moment.
"What is it?"
Lily looked at him her eyes filling tears. "After I left you I … I saw a group of Death…..Eaters." Lily didn't get a chance to say more.
"What are you ok they didn't hurt you did they?" James asked alarmed.
Lily smiled warmly at him. "No they didn't know I was there. Well not really, the one who saw me didn't tell them. But he said… he said I knew…" Lily leaned against James shoulder holding him with one hand. "He said I knew since fifth year… I don't though how could he do this …. How?" Lily cried as she cuddled closer to him.
James knew whom she meant by who? It stung him that she still cared so much for him, but he accepted that it was a part of her and he would love her regardless of it.
"I'm sorry Evans part of it's my fault." James hoped she wouldn't be to upset. Lily didn't move away just asked from her face buried in his shoulder.
"How?"
He figure it was time to confess. "I uhhh….. I wiped it… from your…memory."
Lily stiffens and James rush on. "I know it wasn't right but you were so upset I wanted to ease your burden, I'm sorry."
Lily said nothing as she held him her eyes leaking tears finally she talked softly. "Is there anything else I should know about?" Lily was worried about what else she might learn this night.
James looked dubious and on the verge of telling her the truth. "Can we talk about it later?" James asked finally.
Lily looked up at him her eyes full of fear and unease. "It's that bad?"
"Well it's what prompted me to do it; the other part was kind of a secondary. I did really just want to save you pain."
Lily nodded in understanding her eyes still red and puffy her face wet along with James robes. "Would you mind just holding me?" Lily finally asked. James pulled her in letting her cuddle up to him and gently stroking her soft face as she fell asleep with her head in his lap.
"I'm really sorry Evans, if I'd have known you'd run into him like that I'd have never modify your memory." James fell asleep very uneasily as he felt guilt over Lily.
