Mr. Puffin came crashing through the time rift riding atop a skyscraper-sized combine harvester.

"I think I read about something like this happening in the Book of Revelations..." noted one of the townsfolk before being mowed down by the rows of blades. His body joined those of several others and became part of a bloody mass of human innards that was trailing behind the demon's historically misplaced human harvesting machine.

I was so wise to open that time rift, Mr Puffin thought to himself with a smirk as he inhaled the scent of freshly harvested souls ascending from their bodies into his great, evil, glowing soul-power mass. This is much more efficient than having to gobble them up one at a time. I would absolutely do a celebrity endorsement of this device!

SUPER SOUL SEPARATOR 6000: The brand of soul-harvesting-combine preferred by 9 out of 4 orthodontists and demon!Mr. Puffin

There was one flaw with the demon's plan to open a time rift. A flaw that did not become apparent to him until the front of his combine burst into a ball of flaming shrapnel.

"DANG IT!" the puffin banged on the controls of his broken combine. "I KNEW I should have invested in the extended warranty. How did that happen anyways?"

"HA HA HA HA HA!" Alfred Jones sped past, riding a United States military drone like it was a flying skateboard. "I'm not just the town's mayor, I'm the town's hero! Run for it citizen-dudes, I've totally got you covered!"

Mr. Puffin growled as the townspeople started to flee beyond the boundaries of his shadowy domain. "Meddling fool! Who even gave you such a device?"

"Well dude, I got the idea when I saw you use a time portal to get that futuristic blade machine. So I made a deal with the ghost of Captain Arthur to make another time rift in exchange for letting him "colonize" me in the next life, whatever that's supposed to mean."

Oh no... thought the puffin ...not another ghost couple participating in acts of lustful indulgence. I have to be careful not to die or anything, otherwise I'm going to be stuck in a never-ending freak show.

He thought this as another high power-explosive dropped onto his head.

"Ow! Alright annoying American mortal, this has gone on long enough," Mr. Puffin took flight and snatched Alfred Jones and his military drone out of the air, landing in a way that blocked the escape route out of the shadow domain.

"The rest of you should abandon any hopes you have of escaping, do I make myself clear?" bellowed the demon as it snapped its beak menacingly.

"No way dude..." Alfred Jones coughed as the claws of the puffin slowly choked him to death. "It can't end like this!"

There was a white flash of light followed by a mushroom-shaped cloud of smoke as Alfred Jones's body exploded into a dazzling inferno.

"That end totally works though. Ha ha ha! Am I an awesome hero or what?" Alfred's ghost grinned at the puffin "Well, guess my part of the fight is over dude. I'm off to go get colonized!"

"Ugh..." groaned Mr. Puffin as he staggered to his feet and tried to shake off the throbbing headache the explosions had given him. The townspeople that hadn't escaped must have fled back to their houses. No matter. He could easily bite off the roofs and start chowing down. Now which one did he want to devour first?

"Freeze demon. Yer under arrest for homicide, terrorism, murder of a public official 'nd driving a historically misplaced harvesting machine without proper license or registration."