America felt a pair of arms hugging him from behind, but even if such a gentle contact was supposed to be a display of affection, he felt suffocated.
Because it reminded him of his former buddy.
The one whose only fault was to love him and wish for his happiness, above his own.
The one who just got hurt by those feelings towards the hero.
The one who the hero only recently realized he was hurting so much, all this time.
The one who was the main suspect of stealing the hero's heart, despite the endless list of reasons why he shouldn't own it.
The one that was trying to get over him, to the point of making the others doubt his sanity by 'hanging out with an imaginary boyfriend', smiling and acting affectionately towards thin air or floating bears.
The one the hero just couldn't help but wonder and being concerned about, especially when they didn't allow the American to see him after the accident/terrorist attack that harmed the South Korean.
However, he didn't need to check to know that those arms were not his. And that somehow felt so wrong, even if this was the hero's official lover.
So, at the first opportunity, he just left his own place for some freedom, even if just for a while. He didn't really care it was raining or where he was going, so he just walked randomly… until he tripped on something and fell.
"That's not cool! Why they just leave stuff on the hero's way?!" – he whinned.
"… Sorry for sitting on my own yard, knowing it was on your way didn't originate on me?"
The blue eyes blinked in surprise, when the American realized he just tripped on a Korean with a slightly painful expression holding his bandaged neck, seating by his pond, with his feet playing inside the water.
"Ugh… sorry, buddy. How's your neck?"
"Well, they say healing ok originated on me. Luckily it didn't damage any vital vein, so it was more like a scare rather than anything really serious da ze."
"Right… sorry I couldn't come to see you; they just wouldn't let the hero come near you."
"That's ok, even if knowing you meant well originate on me, I think letting you near me wouldn't originate on me if I was my boss da ze." – the brunet commented, with an understanding look on his face.
"So… you're not mad at the hero anymore?"
"No. Suspecting something was wrong at my house made risking yourself originate on you, and as insane as it can sound, that and how you freaked out when it went wrong show how much you actually care, even if that was not helping at all da ze."
"Really?"
"Really da ze."
"So… buddies again?"
"Yes, just don't make me nod da ze." – the shorter man joked.
"Anyway, why you're not inside? You're all drench."
"Believing you're in no better condition originates on me." – the Asian half-smiled at his unexpected visitor remark's irony.
"Well, I just wanted to have a walk." – the taller one said, as if it was the most normal thing to do during a rain, even if a mild one.
"Right…" – the brunet didn't bought that, but didn't bothered to ask further. Which kind of bugged the blond, because a couple of months ago, the brunet would keep asking until the hero told the real reason.
"What about you?"
"I just wanted to keep cool and think straight, for once da ze."
"About what?" – the dark eyes left the superpower and looked deep in thought at somewhere on the water, instead of just answering, and the blond quickly added – "I-I mean, the hero knows you don't trust me anymore, but if the hero can help in any way…"
"They want me to get married da ze." – the brunet said, quietly.
"W-WHAT?!" – the taller one was shocked – "With who?!"
"Canada-ssi."
"That's not fair! Those bosses think they can do whatever they want with us! Forcing you to marry is against Human's Rights! Don't worry, the hero will save you from such a terrible thing!" – the blue eyed man declared.
"America-ssi, Human's Rights are for humans, not nations da ze." – the Asian chuckled – "Besides, arranged marriages still originate in my country. And it's not like obligation to accept originates on me."
"So, the problem is with whom, right?! Don't worry; the hero will keep this horrible villain at a safe distance from you!"
"America-ssi, Canada-ssi is no villain, and not horrible at all da ze!" – the injured man complained.
"But are you sure he'll treat you right?! Just tell the hero if he does anything against you!"
"Thinking of any nation that could treat me better doesn't originate in Korea. He's always there for me, and kindness towards me always originates on him."
"You sound like… you actually are not against it." – the superpower was both intrigued and annoyed.
"Well, my boss says it's not safe for me to be alone at home, after North broke in da ze. So, having company and sometimes being at other's house would increase safety. Also, it would prevent more gossips from originating about me and my personal life da ze. Not mentioning the political and economic combined strength. She also told me that she's concerned that I'm too lonely and that some nice company can do me good, but she can't really lecture me about that, since she's single too." – he rolled his dark eyes on the last sentence.
"As much as the hero doesn't feel right about arranged marriages, do you feel like doing that with him?"
"Well… if I were to pick anyone, regardless the consequences, it would be him. He's the kindest nation to me, and he does value my culture da ze. Did you know that he originated the first English-Korean dictionary?"
"I-I didn't…" – the taller man suddenly felt aware that he didn't learn more Korean than just enough to train tae-kwon-do, after all this time around his buddy.
"He calms me down when I'm too exited or upset to think straight and I feel peaceful when he's around. That's priceless, especially when you're at war with your own family da ze." – the brunet smiled dreamily – "If that's what you feel towards Japan, I guess understanding why you fell for him totally originates on me."
America bit his lips, not helping but think that his own relationship was nothing like that… he never heard the island nation speak of him like that, nor was he able to babble about his official boyfriend's qualities even if the Japanese surely had many of them. It also stung his heart that not so long ago, he probably was the one the pepper lover would talk about so lovingly.
"And of course, he's quite handsome, even if most nations can't even see him da ze." – not even the mild rain was able to blur the light blush originating on the Korean cheeks – "Sometimes I can't help but believe liking me originates on him. I mean, the idea of marrying me originated on him while he was helping me at the hospital da ze."
"So… what's troubling you about marrying him?" – the blond asked, not happy about hearing all about the issue, but really puzzled.
"America-ssi, can I ask you something? Understanding if you don't answer originates on me, since it's quite personal."
"Of course, bring it on, buddy."
"How did you know Japan was the one da ze? Would risking anything to be with him worth da ze?"
"W-what?!" – the American was surprised with such a question – "How can you brag about his qualities and all reasons why you should marry him and ask that?!"
"I-I got things wrong with a friend once, how can I know I won't do that again da ze? It could be so many things: friendship, gratitude, admiration, I don't know da ze! And even if we can't just tell our hearts who they should belong to, sometimes being really hard to read originate on them!" – the brunet explained, sounding quite frustrated.
'Is he saying he never actually loved the hero?' – US couldn't help but feel like he was stabbed on the heart.
"Do you… feel towards him like you used to feel about the hero?"
"America-ssi, you're so different that you just can't originate the same feelings da ze. I mean, do you really feel the same way about Tony, Whale and me da ze? Asking you to rank us doesn't originate on me, but even if we're all your friends, you think about us on different times and enjoy spending time with us in different ways, right? Believing love and friendship can somehow work alike originates on me. So, maybe different people make different loves originate on us. "
"R-really? So, how different you feel toward us?"
"You made everything wilder and more fun; when one of us went crazy, the other would go along or even crazier and nobody could stop us. Canada-ssi brings me balance and I wonder if shaking up his quiet and peaceful life can originate on me… before him, believing opposite attracts only worked on science originated on me." – the shorter man explained.
"But if you think it might be love and arranged marriage is no problem for you…"
"I never said it's no problem da ze. I don't agree with doing that for advantages when he might already like me, or to make him abide to something that is not of his culture da ze. We must agree that other than the combined resources – which are mutual – this marriage would bring far more advantages for me than to Canada-ssi, and that doesn't make feeling right originat on me. And what if I'm not able to return his feelings enough and making him unhappy ends up originating on me? That would be so unfair da ze! He definitively deserves to have happiness originating on him!"
'He's more concerned about this Canada's happiness than his own… That Canada must really mean a lot for him.' – thought the hero.
"Besides… war between North and me can resume at any moment da ze. If he gets involved on it in any way, forgiving myself will never originate on me." – the recovering nation representative gripped his hands and his eyes hardened at such terrible thought. – "If you saw how worried and sad he was at the hospital… I don't want to originate such feelings on him anymore, even if I'm not able to prevent war with North."
"That might be true, but you also don't know how long this war can take. As heroic protecting him can be, will you keep postponing your happiness? Do you really think that's fair?"
"Even if he's volunteering to do so, do you think it is fair to let him risk his own safety instead, da ze? Which guarantee I can give him that been back to him can originate on me latter? How can I originate happiness on him like that?"
An awkward silence trapped them, until it was broken by a thunder.
"The rain is getting worse da ze. Would you like to go inside da ze?" – the Asian invited, standing up.
"N-no, that's ok. The hero must keep going anyway."
"Are you sure da ze? It won't be good if a cold originate on you."
"Yeah, no rain can defeat the hero, anyway."
"Well, knowing better originates on you. Take care then, da ze." – the Asian smiled friendly, flapping his damp long sleeve as a good bye and went into his own place.
The hero stood there a while longer, for some reason feeling more defeated than ever.
He should be glad that Korea was now acting friendly and looked like he accepted his friendship again. He should be relieved that somehow his recovered buddy had a new chance to be happy and someone who treasured him just like the hero couldn't do to his in-law. The Asian deserved to be happy and loved, after all.
But the blond felt like a hole opened on his heart and that hurt like hell.
He didn't know why, but he kept asking himself:
Was that how his buddy felt when he first saw him getting close to Japan?
Why were the raindrops on the hero's eyes so warm?
Note:
As far as my researches go, arranged marriages still happens in South Korea, even if more likely among upper class families. Please, correct me if I'm wrong ^^'
