Today begins 2011. Now, I actually thought I uploaded this last night, but aparrently my brain was on other things and I forgot that vital step where I actually upload the chapter to the story. My apologies. I shall make sure I do it now...
Chapter 48
Steph's POV
I'd forgotten how much Ranger seemed to enjoy sitting very silent and very still. When he dragged me back into his office he'd forced me into one of the guest chair and perched on the edge of his desk a few feet away, staring at me with his unreadable expression firmly in place and his arms crossed over his broad, sculpted chest. Just looking at it brought back about a million memories of staring at it. Usually in a shirt, but sometimes devoid of the obscuring material. I recalled the feel of it under my hands when he had pulled me against him back then and wondered if it would still be as hard. After a few minutes of staring at him, letting my mind wander as he stayed statue still, I began to wonder why I was sitting here. There was a reason he was staring at me the way he was, but I couldn't quite remember what that reason was. Faced anew with his yummy body, I couldn't think straight.
"Are we going to talk or are you going to sit there and drool?" Ranger asked. Speaking a full sentence, I realised. Had he always spoken full sentences? It seemed to be out of character in my mind. I remembered him as a silent presence, occasionally giving short commands, but now that I thought about it, he'd been fairly articulate earlier today when I'd sat in this same chair with Janelle by my side, asking him to help me find my daughter.
That was it!
"I want my daughter," I said simply. I had to force my fascination with his chest to the back of my mind. So long as I didn't look at him below the neck, I should be able to get through this without embarrassing myself by drooling.
He stared at me silently for a little while longer. Probably probing inside my head in that way he has, and trying to decided the best course of action. As the silence dragged on again, I found myself adding a monologue to his stare. Should I send her to a third world country? Or is it more humane to just shut her down here and now? Which is more likely to let me keep Magenta for myself?
"Babe," he murmured and I noticed the tell-tale twitch at the corner of his mouth. Crap, did I say that out loud? "Yes," he said simply. "Now talk to me. What's going on?"
I rolled my eyes. I would have thought it was quite obvious what was going on. He was lying to me about my own daughter. Keeping her from me. "Please tell me you're kidding!" I practically exclaimed. "Did you not hear a single thing I said out there? I want my freaking daughter. I want you out of her life! She knew who I was the entire time, didn't she? You told her all about her mother, so that she recognised me the minute I stepped into that lobby. But you've warned her against me, like some vicious animal at the zoo. Oh, don't get to close to the tiger cage, Maggie, she'll bite your hand clean off if you give her the opportunity. What lies have you told her?"
I was breathing heavy, now. Glaring at him. Willing him to answer. To tell me what a horrible person I was for leaving Maggie behind. I needed him to tell me I was a terrible mother. I needed him to confirm my suspicions that I didn't deserve to have my daughter back. I'd left her behind for thirteen years, what good could I possibly do her now? I waited for him to tell me all this and more, but all he did was sigh and shake his head.
"She goes by Gen these days," he said.
What? That's all he had to say on the matter? She'd chosen a different nickname. That's it. That's his entire comment on everything I said. "What does it matter what she's called?" I asked, irritated. "A name is a name. She could have changed her name to Billy Jean, but it wouldn't change the fact that she's my daughter and you're a lying bastard."
His eyes met mine and held for a short moment. "I haven't lied to anyone."
"Bullshit," I spat and briefly wondered if getting angry at Ranger was a wise choice of action. "Earlier you stated plain as day that she was your daughter. Which we both know she's not. She's MY daughter. I gave birth to her. She has my DNA!"
"I'm her father, just as Morelli is her father," he stated simply. "We raised her for thirteen years like she was our own. Just like you asked us to do. We were the ones comforting her when she had nightmares. When she was afraid of the bogey monster. When she fell from the monkey bars and hurt her arm. When she fell over and scraped her knee. We took her to school on her first day. We held her when she clung to our legs because she didn't want us to leave her there. We encouraged her to make new friends. We were there for her when the other kids in her class teased her for having two fathers. It was Morelli and me who sat through every single parent-teacher interview. Every councellor meeting. Heck, my employees help her with her homework when she needs it. They all love and adore her and know what she's like. Can you tell me one thing about your own daughter?"
Well, gosh, he may as well have added, baBOOM! You've been OWNED, bitch! to the end of that rant.
I thought hurriedly back through the short conversations I'd had with Magenta before I'd realised who she really was, looking for any little piece of information I could use here. "She eats a lot of sweets," I finally mentioned, grasping at the short interchange I'd overheard between Magenta and the Merry Man working the front desk. "And she's on an elevator ban."
He almost smiled. "Most teenage girls eat a lot of sweets. Besides, with a mother like you, it's hard to think of a reason she wouldn't eat sweets. I seem to remember you liking your cake a bit more than the average person." In the blink of an eye, amused Ranger was gone and replaced by serious Ranger. I imagined him mentally narrowing his eyes at me as he posed his next challenge. "Why is she on an elevator ban?" he asked, knowing full and well that I couldn't possibly answer that.
Pursing my lips, I crossed my arms under my breasts and waited for his next piece of proof that I didn't know my daughter at all. Instead, he shocked me once again by softening his expression.
"I'm not saying you're not her mother," he said gently. "Nor that you shouldn't be allowed the opportunity to get to know her. I'm trying to tell you that Gen has an entire life here that we've built for her in your absence, and in some cases, she's built for herself. She shouldn't have to give up all of that because you want her back."
"She wouldn't have to give up the life that she has," I said, shocked that he would think I'd do such a thing. "She could still keep in touch with her friends. And I'd make sure to come back and visit so that she could spend time with the Merry Men and her grandparents."
"Which set," he asked flatly, confusing the hell out of me.
"She only has one set of grandparents," I told him. "My mom and dad."
He leaned back a bit, regarding me critically. I felt like I was on show. "Wrong," he said. "She has three sets of grandparents. All of whom treat her as their own. She had her Abuela and Abuelo Manoso. And her Nan and Nanna Bella Morelli. As well as her Grandma, and Grandpa Plum and Great Grandma Mazur." He paused a moment, letting that sink in. "Why would Morelli and I agree to take Magenta and make her our family but not include her in our own families?"
This wrenched a sigh from somewhere within me. He was right. I was being stupid and juvenile. "You're right," I murmured. "I have no right to Magenta after all this time."
"No right?" he almost yelled at me. "Weren't you listening? Of course you have a right to her! I'm just saying you have to remember that she's not a baby you can uproot without a problem. She's a package deal. She has family. She has friends. She has a life that she'd probably not going to want to leave behind." He leaned forward again so that his face was close to mine. "You can be in her life. And in time, you can be a big part of her life again. But in the meantime, she needs something to stay the same. Her entire world has been tipped upside down in the past few days. She needs constants."
I avoided eye contact like a coward, opting to gaze down at my shaking hands as my fingers interlocked and then untangled themselves over and over. "What if she doesn't want me in her life?" I whispered, finally letting my fears out in the open. "I wouldn't blame her. I mean, I dumped her years ago and now I just turn up out of the blue." I cringed, thinking about the scene I'd just caused out in the control room for everyone to see. "I haven't exactly made the best first impression."
"Trust me, Steph," he said, "She wants you in her life. She wants to get to know you. But she's just a kid. She's afraid you won't like her. Or that you'll want her to change." After a moment he added almost so softly I didn't catch it, "She's been so excited to learn everything about you the past week. But the night we learned you were still alive, she had a nightmare that you..." he trailed off when I raised my eyes to look at him once more, shaking his head. "I'll go see if she's calmed down enough to come and meet you properly."
Ranger's POV
As it turned out I didn't have to go far from my door to find Magenta. She and Tank were already half way across the control room headed in my direction when I reached the end of the hall. Her cheeks were red and her eyes puffy from the tears she had shed. In one hand she held a wad of tissues. In the other was a half full bottle of juice. She leaned into Tanks side as he said something and I saw a small smile flit across her face. It was obvious that she was feeling better than she had when I last saw her.
She gave me a small smile played at her lips as she approached me. Tank murmured something else and pushed her toward me and the moment she was within reach, I pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms tightly around my waist and I wound my one of her curls around my finger. "Are you ready to meet Mama?" I asked her softly.
"I still don't want to go with her," she said firmly, looking up at me with her chin resting on my chest. "But I'd like to get to know her. She's my mother. I'd feel guilty if I turned her away."
"That's my girl," I smiled, turning her to lead her back down the hall. "We'll take this at your pace. If you're not comfortable, we'll slow things down."
I opened the door to reveal Steph standing in the middle of my office, looking a little lost and panicky. Gen immediately grasped my hand in a death grip. I squeezed back reassuringly and urged her over to the middle of the room so that she stood a couple of feet in front of her mother. Gen stepped a little closer to me as if seeking protection and I draped my hand over her shoulder, giving a light squeeze there now, to give her the added comfort she seemed to need.
They stared at each other silently, oblivious of everything around them, including me. Steph's eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. She reached up to swipe them away more than once during their staring session. When I heard Gen sniff and watched her lower her head to wipe her nose on the sleeve of her t-shirt, I decided it was time.
"Magenta, meet your mother, Stephanie Michelle Plum." I let that sink in a moment before looking to Steph. "And this is your daughter, Magenta Anne Plum."
Steph held out her hand for a shake and Magenta almost took it, shrinking away at the last moment. I removed my hands from her and stepped away, feeling a slight resistance as I did so and she leaned to follow my shift, but then she looked down at the ground. "Do you mind if I hug you?" she asked in a very small voice. Unbeknownst to Magenta, her mother sent me a panicked questioning look, waiting for my nod before she gathered Magenta in her arms and held on tight.
At that moment there was a soft knock on the door. I turned to find Carter standing there, looking out of breath, with an excited glint in his eyes. "Sorry to interrupt," he puffed. "I need to talk to you privately. It's vitally important"
Genny's POV
One moment I was hugging my mother for the first time ever, trying to not get overly emotional again. I'd shed enough tears today that I didn't think I could cry again for another year, but that theory was shot up the butt as soon as Mama looked at me like I was the most precious treasure in the world. The next moment, Papa was leading us out into the control room and leaving us there. By the time I'd managed to turn around to see where he was going, he'd already made it half way back to his office.
"Papa!" I called at his back, a bit annoyed that he'd pretty much just dumped us out without warning. I think I was still tangled in Mama's arms when we'd made it to the end of the hall, that's how abrupt it was.
"I'll be with you as soon as I can," he said. "Why don't you show your Mama around the building in the meantime?"
"How much has really changed that she needs the grand tour all over again?" I retorted. "Besides, it'd take forever 'cause I'm not allowed in the elevator."
Papa turned to look at me when he reached his door. "You were in the elevator this afternoon if my sources are correct," he said. "But I see your point. Go show her your room or something. I'm sure you can find something to do to kill the time." And before I could so much as draw a breath into my lungs to make another comment, he'd shut his door.
"I'd love to see your room," Mama murmured softly, making eye contact with me as I fought not to roll my own.
Happy New Year! Why not start 2011 off right by sending in a review? =P
