"And what?"
"You should probably hide that from him, unless you want him to know you're having a shotgun wedding."
All the color drains from Ziva's face.
"Excuse me?"
"You should probably get married now."
"Hannah..."
Hannah smiles, "Next time you'll read the directions," and leaves the room.
Hannah heads down the stairs. Ziva slams the door shut, and locks it behind her. She turns on the shower, and reads the back of the box, before getting undressed. Maybe Hannah was pulling her leg. Maybe... she finishes reading the back of the box. She stares at the test, on the counter. Two bright, pink lines stare back at her. She tosses the box, and the stick into the trash, and undresses. She climbs into the shower.
"Where's your mom?"
"I think she's in the shower."
"Will you take the diapers upstairs, please?"
"Yes," she nods.
She gets out of the shower, and wraps herself in a towel. She wraps her hair in a towel, and moves over to the counter. She wipes the steam off the mirror. She just stares at her reflection in the mirror. Who was staring back at her? She wasn't really sure. Her whole life had changed so fast. She wasn't sure if she was ready for anymore changes.
It hadn't been so long ago that it was just her. She didn't have anyone, but herself, to worry about. Now there was a whole house full of people she had to think of. Sometimes she worried that Hannah was too much like her, for her own good. Stubborn, and resilient, and not very willing to talk about what's on her mind. She worried, that Hannah had things she needed to say, but couldn't. She didn't know how to talk to her. She was never any good at talking. That was what Hannah needed, to talk. For some reason she seemed to open up to Tony. Ziva couldn't really blame her. Tony was good at talking, but he was surprisingly good at listening, too.
And then there was Matthew. He was quiet, and sweet. She knew that those days were numbered. She knew that soon he wouldn't be a baby. If he was anything like Tony, once he started talking, he'd never stop. But right now, he was perfectly content, just watching everything that went on. He was far more laid back than she had pictured. She had been lucky.
Then there was Tony. She wasn't even really sure how they had ended up together. They had been partners one day, and then the next, he was something else. She had always needed him, but it was different now. She needed to wake up next to him. She slept so much better, when everyone was in their beds. When Hannah spent the night at a friends, or Tony came in late, she couldn't sleep. She couldn't sleep without them. She needed everyone in their places. She never knew that this was what she needed. A family. She had gone from just one to the four of them, in the blink of an eye.
She loved them, but sometimes she felt like she was losing pieces of herself. She couldn't remember the last time she had gone for a run. Or, the last time she had gone out for a drink. She missed going undercover, for days. She missed running into the line of fire, without a second thought. She listens through the door. She can hear Tony in the kitchen, and Hannah's footsteps trailing down the hallway. Matthew chimes in, with a cry. She hears Tony trying to calm him down.
She pulls the trash can, out from under the sink. She looks inside. She reaches inside, thankful, that for once in his life, Tony had taken out the trash, when she asked. She pulls out a plastic stick. Two pink lines. She had read the box. She knew what it meant. So did Hannah. How could she have not seen the signs? It wasn't right, that her eleven year old, knew before she did. Although, in fairness she had never been in this situation before. Situation? It wasn't a situation. It wasn't like she was seventeen. It wasn't like this had happened after a one night stand. She was twenty nine. She was... in a committed relationship. She knew that they were going to get married. He had proven that he wasn't going anywhere. So why was she so scared?
The knock on the bathroom door jolts her back into reality. She tosses the stick in the trash can, and puts it back under the sink. She closes the cabinet doors, and moves towards the bathroom door. She unlocks it. She finds Tony standing on the other side, holding Matthew. Matthew squirms, in his arms.
"Someone wants his mommy."
"Can you give me a minute to get dressed?"
"Yep. Hey, are you ok?"
"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know," he shrugs, "You just look like you've seen a ghost, or something."
"I'm fine, I'm just not awake yet," she fibs.
"Ok. We'll be downstairs, when you get done."
"Ok," she goes to shut the door.
"Hey one more thing."
"What?"
He kisses her. "Love you."
"I know."
"Ziva, that isn't how you're supposed to answer."
"I love you too. I don't think I should have to say it, for you to know it."
"No, but it's nice to hear."
"I'll be down in a few minutes."
He takes Matthew, and leaves the room. He heads downstairs. He puts Matthew in his playpen, with his football.
She quickly dries her hair, and grabs some clothes. She pulls on the first thing that she comes to, that matches. She stops at the bedside table, and flips open her phone. She scrolls through the calendar. She tries to figure out the dates. Matthew was... five months old. Where had the time gone? Tony had asked her to marry him months ago. They had barely discussed it lately. There were too many other things on their minds. Work. Matthew's first cold. The possibility of Hannah being sick. The possibility that Hannah's sperm donor could show up at any moment. Things had been chaotic, to say the least.
"Mom!" Hannah calls from down the hall. Ziva puts her phone in her pants pocket, and rushes down the hall. She finds Hannah in the bathroom.
"What?"
"Look," she points to the counter.
Ziva rolls her eyes. "Really, Hannah?"
"It's huge."
"You are afraid of a spider?"
"I am not afraid of spiders, I just don't like them."
Ziva grabs piece of toilet paper, and smashes it. She flushes it down the toilet.
"Why don't you like spiders?"
"They're so quiet. They just sneak up on you, and you don't even know that they're there."
"A lot of things are like that."
"Are you going to tell him?"
Before she can answer Tony is hollering from down stairs. "Aw, gross!"
Ziva leaves the bathroom, and heads down the stairs. She finds Tony changing Matthew's diaper. She just looks at him.
"Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to help?"
"Go put him in the bathtub," she smiles.
"That's all you have to say? The kid has poop all the way up his back, and that is your only comment?"
"Don't get any on the carpet," she adds.
