LET ME BE THE ONE TO LOVE YOU MORE...

Just how long has it been? Yes, I know I have totally neglected all of my fics since I began seriously working. Just let me tell you I regret not taking the time to write and that I will apologize by writting the end to this story in the next weeks. So far, I expect to write four more chapters and one epilogue.

To all of you who waited patiently, thank you for sticking with this story for such long time. I know this chapter is really sad and all but still, it needed to be written and expressed. I will reward you with better times in the following chapters.

The song for this chapter is evening falls by enya, which lyrics really show the feeling of loss Serena deals with... and as allways, I assure you I dont own the music or the Sailor Moon story. If I did, I would not have to work like a slave every day...

52. When the evening falls, and the daylight is fading…

--Back in the days when Grandma died and I was all depressed, I thought no one could ever take me out of my own little world—she said without leaving his midnight eyes—I thought many stupid things…

--And then…

--I saw you…--she smiled— I loved you from the first time I saw you… I knew you didn't even know I existed, but just knowing you existed made me have hope and illusions again…

As Darien walked towards the spot in the cemetery where Serena´s father burial was being taking place, he remembered those words she had once said, back in Christmas when there had been no worries and no pains. And seeing her blank expression, that void of emotions that her face had been in the last days, he really wished her words had been true and he would be able to bring her back to her usual happy and cheerful person.

That of course, was unthinkable as of aknow. He knew full well he just could not expect to see her smile in at least a couple more weeks; he could just begin to understand how deep inside she had been hurt by all the mayhem with her family, he could just imagine how lost in her own world of guilt she was, how terrible she felt. It was hard to be together at times like this, the atmosphere in their relationship had changed gears completely and he was restless since that day at the hospital when her father had died and her mother had slapped Serena and said all those horrible things to her. Of course, he understood Serena´s sad mood over the days was just the right thing for her to feel. Yet, he could not deny all this situation was getting into his own well being.

But then again, he would not let his ignorance of the extent of her pain to let him forget he had to protect her. By now, he knew he had to be there, as hard and though as it was. And in the same way, he had known since she told him she wanted to go to her father´s burial ceremony that he could not allow her to get hurt even more. That there was a limit to her intentions of saying goodbye.

That is why he squeezed her hand and stopped her when they arrived at the top of the hill that overlooked the tiny spot where the tomb was. The place was crowded by just a few people since not so many seemed to want to give their condolences under the freezing winter wind to a person known for being a ruthless businessman who cared only about money and nothing else. From the place they stood, they could make out the silhouettes of the ten or so people standing beside the widow and Serena´s brother, all of them of course, wearing the mandatory black clothes and winter garments to endure the brutal attack of the cold season. There were just a few of them, yes. But none of them would receive Serena and give her their condolences except from her brother.

Serena turned slightly to look into his eyes and he tried his best to remain calmed, even though he felt it was one of the most awkward moments they had had ever since becoming a couple.

--I don't want you to go there—he said and he squeezed her hand harder—I don't want you to get hurt once again—

She seemed to ponder his words for a few moments and he took a little advantage of the situation to make her certain that she wasn't alone, to make her understand some important things. As her eyes went down, he pulled her closer beside him and embraced her frame, seemingly lighter than before while wrapped in all those layers of clothes.

--I am here with you Serena—he continued with a tender voice—I love you, little one and I promise you we will go through all of this together—

She squeezed his hand back and even though he could not see her expression, he knew she was hearing his every word.

--I can´t tell you my love will replace the one you wanted to have from them—he said, finally finding some words and things he had wanted to say over the previous days—There is no way we can replace the love from your parents or mine…--he trailed, suddenly thinking back of his own pain when he found out his had died and he couldn't even remember them—But now we have each other, Serena, we have a family of our own…

Serena then trembled. She knew and understood his words, she could feel the truth in them and the warmth and caring feeling attached to them. She knew her place was beside him, that with him she was finally at home. Yet, she was feeling as if her heart had frozen from pain and hurt, as if her mind could not utter words out of shock. As she felt Darien´s voice wrap her in a cocoon of care, as he said they were now a family, she knew he was also suffering with her and kind of remembering his own feelings of loss.

--It is not fair…--she whispered.

Darien understood what she meant. It wasn't fair for him to lose his parents without a single good memory of them other than the look of love in his mother´s eyes as the fell to their death. It was even less fair for Serena to have been born in a family that despised her and saw her as a complete burden, when all she had done was to come to exist. A family that had denied her the love she had strived so much to earn, a set of parent that cared nothing for her and blamed her of things that had never been under her control.

It wasn't fair to love and care for them so much when all they could feel for her was hatred. It was horrible to feel guilty over the death of one of them.

--It isn´t—he agreed—

And so they stood there, enduring the freezing wind and one of the hardest moments so far in their relationship. There, until the last of the attendants left and the only ones who stayed behind were the people in charge of the final burial procedures. By then, the day had faded into a cloudy and dark afternoon…