"Hey Hermione, do you have a minute?"
Hermione's plucky assistant Amelie poked her head in through the door.
"Hey, sure Amelie, what's up?" Hermione asked with her head still buried in a massive book filled with sketches of old buildings. They were still trying to identify the blueprints that Tracey had found in France.
"I need to speak to you".
Hermione froze and felt a chill run through her.
The voice that had spoken was not Amelie's but rather, belonged to a tall aristocratic blond that she had been avoiding for the past two days.
Although Harry had called three meetings to discuss the drawings, all of which included Draco Malfoy, Hermione had managed to avoid talking to him directly and had also managed to avoid talking to him about their incident completely.
After the first day, Malfoy had sent her several owls asking to meet and he had also indirectly asked to speak with her privately on two separate occasions. Hermione knew she was being immature and that furthermore, she was the one who had promised they would talk and yet, she found that she could not bring herself to face him.
The most insurmountable issue she had was that she could noteven begin to unravel her own feelings towards the erstwhile blond.
She was interested in him for sure.
But she was also terribly conflicted about her feelings. There was just too much history and too much baggage. The Malfoy she knew now was good; intelligent, mature, if a little surly and moody. If only she could forget the spiteful, arrogant Malfoy of her childhood.
Added to all this was the fact that she was completely stressed out about her magic and then on top of that, they only had one more day to work on the case.
It was just too much.
In her head, she had somewhat decided that she would sort out her relationship with Malfoy after the case wrapped up.
Otherwise, there was just an overload of emotion.
Unfortunately, she had not told Malfoy about this resolution. Which would explain why he had now barged into her office.
Hermione slowly raised her eyes and met his stormy grey ones.
"Malfoy. Hello. How can I help you?" Hermione struggled to keep her voice level for the benefit of her assistant whose head was still halfway in the door.
Malfoy was standing a little behind Amelie, clad in his black work robes, clutching his wand in his hand. He was leaning slightly on his cane.
Malfoy did not reply. He just continued to look at her with an inscrutable expression on his face.
"I'll take it from here Amelie, thank you" Hermione realised her voice was higher and squeakier than normal, but she couldn't help it.
Amelie finally left leaving Malfoy to walk in and close the door behind him.
With a wave of his wand, a Muffliato charm was cast on the room.
Hermione swallowed heavily and kept her eyes determinedly ahead of her.
"Granger"
Malfoy's voice was low and quiet. Hermione finally raised her eyes to his.
"You've been avoiding me" Malfoy continued quietly.
"No, I haven't" Hermione replied, shoulders sagging as she let out the breath she was holding.
"You said we would talk and you haven't been talking since that day. Not to me anyway" Malfoy lowered himself onto the chair in front of her desk.
Hermione sighed and rubbed her eyes "Malfoy, we've all been busy with the case, I just didn't think it was time…" she trailed off.
Malfoy was silent, eyes piercing hers.
"And I'm sorry if it seemed like I was avoiding you" Hermione continued. "Look, I need to work through a lot of things. I'm stressed out about my magic and this case is weighing me down too, I just can't deal with… with anything else right now" she rushed on.
Still Malfoy was silent.
"Besides, I was an utter mess that day, everything is a bit of a blur. I was just so overwhelmed by everything, I'm sorry if it seemed like I ambushed you" she said, watching closely for some kind of reaction "I wasn't thinking clearly or acting like myself, I would never have…"
Malfoy stood at her words, grey eyes darkening.
"Malfoy wait… what" she stammered, looking up at him.
"No need Granger, I think I got all the information I came for" Malfoy said through gritted teeth.
"No, wait… what are you talking about?" she asked, although her misstep was beginning to dawn on her.
"There is nothing further to discuss. You were not in your right mind that day, what else would have compelled you to react like that. I understand perfectly" Malfoy replied, his snide drawl becoming more pronounced.
"Malfoy don't do that, you know that's not fair" Hermione said rising from her own seat.
"Its not fair? You just said you weren't thinking clearly" he spat.
"Well I wasn't" Hermione shrieked, suddenly thankful for the Muffliato "My magic had just failed me, I obviously wasn't thinking clearly. And it is not fair for you to expect anything more from me right now. You can't just expect me to forget all the history between us. This is you and me, there's just too much that happened for me to just ignore or gloss over".
"No, no I suppose I can't expect you to forget who I was or what I did. Your forgiveness clearly doesn't mean acceptance" Malfoy's voice had also raised a few notches.
"Forgiveness? Who says I've forgiven you anything? I haven't even begun to work through what happened with you at Hogwarts for me to forgive you. And if I am remembering clearly, you haven't really apologised for anything for me to forgive" Hermione shouted across her table.
"What do you want from me Granger? An apology for every time I called you a mudblood? An apology for every insult? Or do you want me to make amends for my bigger transgressions? Trying to kill Dumbledore? Trying to kill Potter?" Malfoy shouted back at her.
"It would be a start" Hermione said "Are you even sorry Malfoy? For the things you've done? Are you sorry?" she asked.
"What…" Malfoy began but stopped. Something in his eyes flashed.
"You know what Granger? I think I had it right the first time. You lot are just too good and too righteous for the likes of a Death Eater like me. Let's just leave it at that shall we?" he spat out in a whisper.
"You know what? Maybe you're right Malfoy. I can't get into this right now. What I wanted was space and time which you clearly are not ready to give me because your privileged self believes that it should get whatever it wants. I am not going to be at your beck and call no matter how changed you believe you are" Hermione spat back.
"Oh, I don't believe any such thing Granger" Malfoys voice was dangerously low "And yes my privileged self did think it deserved a reply from you even if you just wanted to say you needed time. What I did not expect was to be ignored completely. My fault here is that I was too weak to resist becoming emotionally invested in a witch who believes she is far too good for me. I chose to disregard common sense, my heritage, my family and every custom and habit I've been raised in, in the hope that you would share my feelings, but I was wrong"
"What are you talking about Malfoy? Is it that much of a sacrifice? Having feelings for me?" Hermione asked, "Do tell Malfoy, If I'm such a difficult choice, why choose me at all? What redeeming quality do I have to make up for all that you're giving up? I honestly want to know, what could I, a mudblood, have that would attract someone like you?"
"You are a powerful witch Hermione. You are intelligent and strong, and you have amazing magical ability. But it was my mistake, allowing your power to affect me so much" Malfoy's voice was still quiet, but the fight had left it. He merely sounded defeated now.
It took a while for his words to sink in to Hermione's brain. As the import of his words hit her, Hermione was overcome with an unspeakable sadness.
"Get out" she said.
A tear made its way to her eye and rolled down her cheek.
Malfoy's head jerked up at her words.
"Get out" she whispered again.
Malfoy opened his mouth as if to speak but Hermione held out her hand to stop him.
She closed her eyes to collect herself.
"I am more than my magic Malfoy" she whispered, through gritted teeth with her eyes still closed "Please, leave".
There was a muffled sound and then the door slammed.
Hermione sank into her chair and stared at the now closed door, tears falling down her face.
