The day after she'd spent the night in the nursery Sami came over and boarded up the door. She'd thought about just turning the room into a guest bedroom but the memory would still be there so she thought this would be easier. She thought Jon may be angry at her for having the room boarded shut but his reaction was taking a bottle of whiskey into the bedroom and drinking alone.

A month after the room had been sealed off Jon began drinking heavily. He hardly showed up to his matches anymore and when he did he was either hung over or still drunk. Zandig wanted to fire him but knew that if Jon wasn't getting paid and wasn't able to make ends meet he would just drink even more and Zandig had a soft spot in his heart for Jon,he didn't want to see Jon struggle even more than he already was.

But Zandig didn't know the half of it,he didn't know that Jon drank every day,he didn't know that Jon didn't drink just beer but drank constantly straight from a bottle of Jack. Jon thought that if he drank enough,the bad memory of losing his unborn baby would go away,but no matter how much he drank,it didn't. He knew that he was losing his wife in the process too. She would sometimes just stare at him and even in his blackout drunken state he knew she was disappointed in him,that she was losing hope and faith in him. And she didn't know what to do,she had tried talking to him on several occasions about it but he wouldn't have it,he told her bluntly that he drank to numb the pain,that it was the only way for him to cope and she just didn't know what to do about it. She'd even called in Sami and Chrissy to stage a sort of intervention but it ended in Jon going on a week long binge where he just locked himself in the bedroom and drank,leaving Sarah to sleep on the couch. He didn't want to come out even after a week but she got Sami to come and bust the door in and drag Jon out to the living room so she could clean the bedroom and get rid of the stale reek of whiskey and nicotine.

One night she was sitting next to his passed out figure on the bed,looking down at his sleeping face,wishing to God he would change. But she knew that alcoholism ran in his family. She was about to turn over and go to sleep when he opened his eyes.

''Sarah.''

''Yeah,sweetie.''

''I'm sorry.''

''I know you are,Jonathan.''

''I love you sweetcheeks.'' He mumbled and smiled weakly.

''I love you too dollface.''She replied and a few tears ran down her cheeks. That night she fell asleep with a voice in the back of her mind saying this isn't going to end well.


The next week Chrissy found out she was pregnant. She and Sami didn't make it a big deal in front of Sarah and Jon. Jon still didn't take it well,he told Sarah he loved her and locked himself in the bedroom again. Only this time he didn't just bring booze with him but a bottle of painkillers as well.

He hated himself,he may have loved Sarah with every fiber of his heart and soul but he hated himself. He had tried to stop acting the way he was but found he simply didn't have the willpower to move on. He sat on the edge of the bed for hours that day and cried,looking at pictures of them that had been taken on their wedding day. One was of them standing,his arm around her waist and happy smiles on their faces. One was a candid of her sitting on his lap,his hand pressed to her belly and their foreheads pressed together. He wanted that back more than anything in the world but he knew that it would never be like that again,no matter how hard both of them tried. He couldn't put her through this anymore. He took a handful of the pills and downed it with a long swig of whiskey and drifted off.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger and finally drank away her memory. Life is short but this time it was bigger than the strength he had to get up off his knees

Sarah was sitting at the kitchen table,picking at the dinner she had made. A nagging thought that something was wrong kept resounding in her head and she got up to check on Jon. Sami had shown her a way of shimmying the door open if Jon had it locked. As she was pushing and pulling on the knob a sense of fear and dread overwhelmed her.

She finally got the door open and braced herself. She walked over to him,he was on his stomach.

We found him with his face down in the pillow,with a note that said I'll love her till I die.

She took the note that was bunched up in his hand and read it.

'I'm sorry that I can't be better for you,I tried but it hurt too much. I couldn't stand being constantly heart broken every time I looked into your eyes and saw the pain you were feeling. I'm ashamed at how I've been acting and I know it was hurting you and I know how much I'm hurting you right now but I think if I'm not here you can move on. I know that may sound stupid to you but it's the truth. Tell everyone how much I love them and how sorry I am. I hope you forgive me. I'll love you forever baby girl. You'll always be my beautiful,loving,amazing dollface. -Jon.'

She collapsed on the floor and cried for hours until she called Sami and when they got there he,Chrissy and Sarah all cried together.

And when we buried him beneath the willow,

The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.


She barely made it through the funeral. She was touched however,when so many people showed up. Nearly everyone Jon had ever worked with,in every promotion he'd wrestled in was there. Cody came and he wept with her for a few minutes. So many crying people were there,mourning just like she was,but they didn't know what was really going through her head. She thought she was going to snap but Chrissy took her into a room and closed the door on her,knowing Sarah needed to be alone for a little while,to regain her composure. She felt so lost without him,even after only a day she knew she couldn't make it without him.

The next night she drove to the cemetery and with a flashlight found his headstone. She was saying goodbye to him in a way she thought was proper and just a little morbidly ironic,by sitting on the ground with her head propped up on the headstone,like the way she had propped it up on his chest and shoulders many many times,and opened a bottle of whiskey. She knew how stupid she must have looked,but didn't care.

''A toast to my husband,Jon,a great man,wrestler and all around badass.''She said to the headstone,trying to be a little humorous,knowing Jon would have wanted it that way. He always hated how serious people could be.

''Okay Jon,I got the light part out of the way,now I wanna talk seriously. I want you to know that I miss you.I'll be honest,there is a part of me that is angry with you but I need you to know that I forgive you and I love you. I'll always love you,I always have,you know that. I don't think I can do this without you,baby,I really don't,you've always been the one who's kept me sane and the one who's kept me happy all these years. How am I supposed to survive without you?'' She said and wept.

Chrissy and Sami had went to see Sarah but found she wasn't there but had an idea of where she may be. They headed to the cemetery and wasn't shocked to see the light of a flashlight where Jon had been laid to rest. She was slumped over on the ground with the bottle next to her,she wasn't passed out because of the alcohol but had simply cried herself to sleep. Sami picked her up and put her in the backseat and drove her home where he lay her gently on the bed and she continued sleeping.


A month had gone by and she still felt so lost without Jon in her life. For half of her twenty-three years on this Earth he had been there and now he wasn't. She felt desolate,completely empty,the only thing that reminded her she was alive was the ache in her heart and the burn in her throat of the whiskey. She had basically shut everyone out. Sami and Chrissy still came over but she still felt so alone.

She couldn't cope and so she did what Jon had done,she stayed drunk. She drank bottles and bottles of whiskey but still couldn't stop thinking about him.

She finally drank her pain away a little at a time,

But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind

Until the night...

One night it began to be too much for her so she took a couple of sleeping pills along with half a bottle of Jack. She laid down on the bed,holding a picture of Jon from a while back. It was her favorite picture,it was taken while he was in Puerto Rico,it was simply him standing there with his fingers making a heart and he'd been wearing his beautiful dimply smile and his blue eyes were shining and he'd written in permanent marker on the back 'I miss you so fucking much!Wish you here,love,Jon.'

She held his picture tightly and with tears streaming down her face,found the sleep she had been looking for.

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger and finally drank away his memory.

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength she had to get up off her knees.

We found her with her face down in the pillow,clinging to his picture for dear life.

We laid her next to him beneath the willow

While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.

That night she saw a light,just like she'd heard people describe on tv who'd had near death experiences,only they didn't walk to the light like she did. She had welcomed the darkness that had come before the light because now that she was standing in front of it she saw her husband,and he was holding their little girl. She walked to them,tears of joy in both hers and Jon's eyes.

''Welcome home pretty girl. We've missed you.''Jon greeted her with a smile.

''I've missed you too.''She replied and took the little girl in her arms and the three of them walked off into the light that so many people find cliche,and started their new lives together in Eternity.


Ok,a few things. First,thank you to everyone who read my story I really appreciate it :) I know it was a little long but I had so many ideas so I just included them all. I'm sorry it was so sad towards the end,I cried writing it. But at least there was a happy ending. I enjoyed writing the entire thing though. Also the lyrics in this last chapter that are in bold italicized letters are from Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss,it's a sad beautiful song. Anyways ,I'm gonna wrap this up now,thanks y'all! XOXO