October 19, 2015 - Monday, Early Morning - Cloudy
According to the weather forecast, another cold front was headed into the area around the middle of the next week. It would bring with it not only colder temperatures, but also lots of rain. Lydia had informed everyone that they'd be going into the valley next Saturday, and this morning she felt like stopping by the valley to talk to F.Z. for a little bit before getting ready for school.
"F.Z.! Are you out there?" Lydia said, which drew the girl out from the winds.
"Hey. What's up? How was the convention?" She asked. Lydia looked up and noticed that the sky was still partly cloudy, though there did seem to be a few more clouds than before. She told F.Z. all about the convention, including the events she went to, the raves, and meeting Morgan's friends and Damien's other older sister.
"Well, damn. You should've brought me something!" F.Z. said. Before Lydia could say something, though, she said,
"Nah, don't worry about it. It's not like I actually asked you for anything. Besides, there's not much I could do with it since I don't really have a place to put anything. So, you guys are gonna come in here on Saturday, and it's Monday before school starts in the real world. Not that that means all that much to me. The sun still doesn't move, but at least I have these clouds to look at now."
"I don't know if I've asked this before, F.Z., but... can you sleep? Or eat, or...?"
"Nope. Can't sleep. Tried that already. And yeah, I've tried nibbling on the grass before. I can tear it up and chew it with my teeth, but it'll just phase through me when I swallow. There isn't any water around here, but I'm pretty sure the same thing would happen with that too. Oh, but at least I can't get periods either, which is probably the only really good thing about being dead. I don't sweat, uh... I also can't get tired, really, unless I actually get hurt by something. Still, there's a reason I stick to the winds most of the time when you guys aren't here, and that's because it's really. Fucking. Boring. Being in the winds is the closest I can come to falling asleep, since I can only sort of touch what I come across without seeing, hearing, or otherwise feeling." F.Z. explained. She briefly turned into the wind, went through Lydia, and reappeared behind her.
"I've done it long enough that I could memorize who you are just by how you feel in the winds. Doesn't help too much in navigation though, since every dungeon's different and just feeling something doesn't tell me what it is every time. But enough about me. You also said you were gonna go to the homecoming dance at Fulton at the end of the month, right? Who are you gonna go with?" F.Z. asked. Lydia let out a breath.
"I don't know yet. So, the truth is that I haven't really gotten to know very many people at school that aren't part of QIB. I'd feel more comfortable going with somebody I already know, and I think you can count on one hand the number of guys I know." She said.
"Doesn't seem like a problem to me. Makes it easier to choose, right? Or I guess, makes the wait easier? I dunno, were you hoping someone would ask you first or what?" F.Z. said, creating a quartz chair for herself to sit on. She asked if Lydia wanted one as well and she said yes, so F.Z. also decided to make a quartz table for them to sit across from one another at.
"It's... I don't know. I hope I get asked first, but I really want to have a date to this dance. So if no one asks me by Friday, I'll go ahead and ask one of the QIB guys. Nathan said he was available, so I can count on him being there for me." Lydia said, wondering if either Damien or Jacob would want to ask her out. Carla's thoughts on Damien and Allie echoed in her mind, making her bristle at the implications briefly before she put them out of her mind.
"So he's not your first choice, then. Don't blame ya. The guy's not exactly Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. One out of three ain't good enough for me. If it were me, I wouldn't pick any of the QIB guys. They're not my type. Well, not that I'd give that much of a shit about having a date to a dance anyway. I'd probably be more likely to have fun with my girls than with some guy I'd probably have to drag around. He probably wouldn't even come!" F.Z. said, shrugging before conjuring a piece of quartz to twirl around in her fingers. Lydia hadn't said that Nathan wasn't her first choice, but F.Z. had managed to make a correct assumption anyway.
"Yeah, I figured having a date wouldn't matter that much to you. I guess I'm just more traditional that way." Lydia responded. There was a brief moment of silence before F.Z. decided to start carving something in the table with the piece of quartz she held. Lydia smiled as she thought of the next thing to say to her.
"None of the QIB guys are your type, right? So... who is your type? Is it Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome?" Lydia asked. F.Z. stopped where she was in her carving, and hesitated as she tried to come up with a response.
"I... damn it. Did I just..." Lydia expected her to be embarrassed or shy, but instead F.Z. looked like she was trying hard to focus on something.
"What's wrong? Oh! Is it... are you remembering something new?" Lydia asked. F.Z.'s eyes opened wide, and she dropped her quartz piece on the table.
"No fucking way. Me? I... holy shit." A smile began to take over F.Z.'s visage, blooming into a grin and then into full-on laughter. Lydia was unsure what to say or what to think, so instead she smiled back at F.Z. and hoped her reaction wasn't about to turn negative.
"You better not tell anyone what I'm about to tell you, Lydia. You got that?" She said, pointing her finger at her. Lydia nodded, her own smile widening.
"Okay. Alright. So, you're right. I remembered something just now. It's... I guess I can't be all that surprised, since I was a few months short of 15, but... I remember I liked someone. And not just that, but..." F.Z. broke out laughing, grabbing the quartz piece and jamming it into the table.
"...I still can't believe it. Um, so, like... I... had a boyfriend." She said the last words quietly, her eyes moving back and forth between Lydia and the table.
"How the fuck did that happen?" F.Z. asked, unable to keep herself from laughing. Lydia found herself laughing along with her, and earnestly wondered what kind of guy she would've called her boyfriend.
"I don't know! You tell me." Lydia said, eager to hear more now. F.Z. created a quartz fan to fan herself with, and tried to calm herself before explaining.
"So... it's not like I remember everything about him or how it happened. But it was in my last year of middle school. I think it was... it was already spring, because Easter had happened already. So, as much as people stayed away from me in middle school, there were a couple people who were willing to talk to me. Quinn was one of them."
"His name is Quinn?" Lydia asked, wanting to be sure. F.Z. suppressed another laughing fit and nodded.
"Y-yeah. Quinn Crawford. Damn, that name is white as hell. But yeah, that's his name. I remember he was kind of like me; nobody really wanted to talk to him, either. He used to get picked on until he beat the crap out of his bullies and then they left him alone. That was earlier in the school year, before Christmas. I... remember meeting him. I heard what he did and wondered if he'd be willing to talk to me. He was, and... I guess we thought of each other as more than just friends at some point, because... yeah. He was... the one I got my first kiss from. That much I remember." F.Z. sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. Lydia wanted to squee at F.Z. recounting such a memory, but restrained herself.
"Don't give me that look. I know what you want to do. Don't hold it in. It just makes it even more awkward." F.Z. said, seeing how Lydia was so very obviously not trying to squee. So she did, and F.Z. felt the biggest blush she could remember having since landing in the valley.
"Remember, don't say anything to anyone about this. Okay?" F.Z. muttered, crossing her arms.
"Uh huh! Don't worry. I won't tell a soul!" Lydia responded, still giddy. F.Z. sighed again, and fanned herself to try and cool down.
"But you know what? Quinn probably thinks I'm dead. Which I am! I'm actually dead!" She said, continuing to fan herself. Her change of tone from bashful to agitated got Lydia to also calm down.
"So... I mean, it doesn't matter that he was my first boyfriend. He's moved on like anybody would! Which means, even if I somehow manage to get out of here, my first relationship is already over! Gone before it could really go anywhere!" F.Z. said, growing angrier. Lydia could feel the quartz chair and table beginning to weaken, and so she stood up. F.Z. could tell this was happening herself and as soon as she saw Lydia was standing, she crushed the edge of the table with her hand, causing the table and chairs to crumble into dust.
"Why is it that every time I remember something, it just ends up making me feel like shit? I've been gaining memories ever since I met you. I thought I'd be happier knowing who I was, but... I just keep getting reminded of things I don't have anymore, things I'll never be able to get back." Rather than fly into a rage as Lydia would've expected, F.Z.'s voice peaked and then began to dip into a resigned, jaded tone. She approached her, trying to think of something to say to make her feel better.
"Maybe if we defeat the Idols, we can find a way to return you to the real world. Or... if we can't do that, maybe we could put you to rest. Or..." Lydia began to say, but F.Z. put a hand up to stop her, shaking her head.
"Yeah, yeah. I know. We still haven't tried everything yet. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt." She said. She sighed, and then looked up to meet Lydia's eyes with her own.
"I want to be alone for a while, okay? You can come back after you're done with school or whatever, but right now I need to be by myself. I've probably made you late already, so..." She said as she brandished a quartz dagger and tore open a portal for Lydia.
"Go. And don't feel like you gotta get back here ASAP. If something comes up and you can't come back 'til later, don't get upset over it. But... I'd like it if you came back before the next training session."
Lydia nodded. She approached the portal and F.Z., briefly turning to the younger girl and saying,
"Give me a hug." F.Z. resisted rolling her eyes. She sighed again, and then reluctantly accepted Lydia's embrace.
"See you later, F.Z." Lydia said before returning to the real world.
October 20, 2015 - Tuesday, Early Morning - Sunny
"So, Quinn must be going to one of the high schools in the city, right?" Lydia asked F.Z. She had been swamped with homework yesterday and was unable to return to the valley until this morning. F.Z. shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess he would. He'd be a freshman just like I'd be if I was still alive."
"Do you know which school he would've gone to? If it's Fulton, maybe we can try to find him and ask him what your name is." Lydia said, which made F.Z. perk up.
"It's not your school. I would've remembered him saying something like that. Fulton is a new school, but before that there were only two: Quartz West and Quartz East. He lives closer to West, so I'm guessing that's where he is now. Maybe someone in QIB knows someone who goes there." F.Z. said.
"I don't know. I've never heard any of them talk about Quartz West before. I think Lynne mentioned to me that Rory goes to Quartz East, but he's not exactly on our side anyways, so even if he did go to the same school as Quinn, I don't think I could ask him to do anything. But if he was going to go to West, then maybe you would have too? Maybe that might help us figure out your name. We could find your dad in a phone book or something." Lydia suggested. F.Z. shook her head.
"No, don't do that. My dad probably wouldn't like some random girl calling him about his missing daughter. You can't exactly explain what really happened to me to anybody who hasn't already been here, remember? If you called him, he'd demand to know just that, and if you were crazy enough to somehow bring him here, that would screw everything up. So no. Leave him alone. He still thinks I'm out there in the real world somewhere. I don't want him learning the truth unless we've tried everything and nothing's worked."
"Okay. What about Quinn?" Lydia asked. F.Z. crossed her arms and thought for a moment.
"Leads to kind of the same problem. See, anybody who was close to me is gonna wanna know what happened to me. And I didn't make that many friends in middle school, so I don't remember much besides 'em. Listen, just... well, I guess I can't make you stop, but maybe just stop looking for what my real name is. I think it'd be easier to wait until I get it back naturally. It's gonna come sooner or later, and even after I know what it is I'll probably still tell you guys to call me F.Z. regardless because the name is probably going to be stupid. It's important to me, yeah, but something tells me I'm not gonna remember it any sooner than the universe lets me."
Lydia nodded, finding that a pretty reasonable line of thinking. F.Z. sure had done a lot of thinking in a day's time, she thought.
"Okay. We'll do that. Now... I want to talk about something else." Lydia said.
"What?" F.Z. asked. Lydia smiled.
"I've been thinking about what kind of dress I should get for the homecoming dance. As soon as we're done with our training on Saturday, the girls and I are going to go shopping for one." F.Z. raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah? What were you thinking about getting?" She asked.
"I wasn't sure whether to get a dress that goes down to the floor or one that's shorter, like around my knees. I also haven't decided on the color yet. What do you think I should get?" Lydia asked. F.Z. squinted at her, thinking for a moment.
"You kinda seem like the kind of girl who could rock either short or long. I can't imagine you wearing something with a really bright color, though, like yellow or hot pink or something. Maybe you could get something that's the same blue as your ribbon? That blue's pretty good on you." She said.
"It is, yeah. What about like, a dark maroon or something? I agree, some kind of darker color would be best." Lydia said.
"Oh yeah. That'd definitely look good on you too. I'm pretty sure whatever you pick is gonna be great, though. From what I've seen you wear, you pretty much know what you're doing when you go shopping. Way better than me, that's for sure." F.Z. said. She was still wearing the same flower-patterned blue-green dress that she had gotten for her several weeks ago. Lydia's smile widened as she realized what she could now do.
"Hey, F.Z.?" She said, stepping closer to her. F.Z. noticed the change in her expression and leaned back a bit.
"What? What are you thinking?" She asked. Lydia stopped in front of her and said,
"Just because you can't come to the dance doesn't mean you should miss out on wearing a new dress. I'm totally going to buy one for you. And no, it's not a bother to me. You've seen how much money we get from fighting Shadows. If I wanted to, I'm pretty sure I could march over to the warehouse right now and beat them up by myself until I got the money for it."
F.Z. tugged at her current dress. She thought it was pretty good, but after having remembered something as mundane as changing clothes every day, she almost found herself wishing she could do the same here, even if days didn't actually pass in the traditional sense.
"Whatever you pick, make sure it fits me, alright? I'm gonna trust you with this." She said, looking down at the grass.
"Of course. I'll do my best. Actually..." Lydia trailed off, looking down at F.Z.'s feet. She hadn't tried to buy her any shoes yet, but a pretty dress wasn't a complete outfit on its own - it needed the right pair of shoes to go along with it.
"What?"
"Gonna need to buy you some shoes, too. Do you happen to know what your shoe size is?"
"Huh, I actually know this one. Um, should be 5. Hope that isn't too hard to find."
"Okay. Well, I gotta go. Could you..."
"Yeah." F.Z. said, opening a portal. Lydia walked through, and made a note of F.Z.'s shoe size on her phone. It was about what she expected from someone who was hardly even five feet tall, and probably less since she tended to wear shoes with raised heels in them. She wondered which of her parents was the short one or if it was both of them.
She said her dad was the only one raising her. She doesn't seem to have remembered anything about her mother, or else that would've come to the forefront of her mind already. I guess that's in whatever she has yet to remember. I hope it doesn't turn out that her mother abandoned her family or something like that. The only other explanation I can think of for why she wouldn't be in her daughter's life is that she's passed away, which while it's better than the other thing, could still be pretty bad depending on how it happened.
Original upload date: May 13, 2017
SakuraDreamerz - I'm not sure if this is still timely, but it sounds like you want to see them. Maybe you should do so. I doubt such an opportunity comes along all that often, so don't miss out on it.
A/N: So for the first time since like, Chapter 7, I'm putting through a chapter with less than 3,200 words in it. I've been wanting to return to shorter chapters for a while, so we'll see how long I can keep this up before I inevitably go back to posting 6,000+ word chapters. I'm going to guess it'll happen right around the time the next Idol event occurs. Also, to those who have come across this story after discovering the Persona series through Persona 5, welcome! If you're reading this, you've probably read the whole story up to this point, and for that I thank you. This fic was based primarily on Persona 4, but I'm glad you found it interesting enough to read it through this far. Hopefully I can continue to make it worth reading for you all.
