I do not own any of the characters or the Hobbit (just the AU storyline and my OC) those are the work of the esteemed and brilliant John Ronald Reull Tolkien, and without his genius,this and many other fan fics would not be in existence.
Please review! I love getting them-they keep me encouraged J
The first knot came undone easily, and Kili's hands moved up to the knot at the base of her neck. Within seconds he had it untied as well, and he slowly pushed it off her shoulders. His eyes widened, and Cirashala heard the sharp intake of breath.
"Mahalu me-turg," Kili breathed, staring at the nearly healed scars from her warg bite. She felt him reach out and trace the marks the warg's sharp teeth had made with trembling fingers. "C-Cirashala…"
Regret and dismay was clear in his tone. Her eyes widened in realization that this was the first time Kili had actually seen the bite, and she swallowed nervously, feeling uncomfortable at her body being under the young dwarf's scrutiny.
"K-Kili?" she whispered hesitantly, trembling. She felt his fingers immediately leave her back, and heard the young dwarf's breaths quicken.
"I-I'm sorry," he stammered quickly, face reddening in embarrassment. "I-It's just….by my beard, I-I didn't realize it was so….so large…I…" She sighed as he trailed off, biting back a wince as the movement tugged on her wounds.
"I-it's nothing," she whispered, teeth gripped together in pain as she stumbled over the words. "It's o-only a s-scar…and i-it's nearly…. healed….anyway." Kili sighed behind her, his shoulders slumping, knowing the large scars were his fault. She shivered as a slight breeze picked up, gripping herself tighter as it stung her fresh wounds, a low whimper escaping her throat. Kili's eyes moved away from the scar and back to the fresh, seeping wounds, eyeing them with concern.
"I-I need you….to take your tunic off," he whispered, swallowing nervously. She hesitated, before slowly taking her arms away from where she had been holding herself tightly, allowing the tunic to slide down them.
XXX
Her entire body trembled with fear, and she felt incredibly vulnerable and exposed. She wanted nothing more than to pull the tunic back up, but the logical part of her brain kept reminding her that she needed her wounds cleaned, and she could not reach her back herself to do so. She highly doubted she would even be able to lift her arms up, considering that, in order to do so, she would have to pull on her painful wounds.
Kili could almost feel the tension and fear radiating off her, and his brow furrowed in concern.
She said she trusted me, he thought to himself in confusion. But she seems to be terrified.
She finally got the tunic off, and slid it off her lap. The torn and bloodied grey fabric landed in a heap next to her, followed by her leather corset, her wounds not allowing her to hand it to the young dwarf behind her. Kili swallowed, before reaching over to pick them up, careful to avert his eyes.
Cirashala brought her arms back up, covering her front as best as she could under the circumstances. She heard Kili begin to cut the fabric into strips, each rip reminding her of the sound of the goblins ripping her tunic apart in the first place. She shut her eyes tightly in an attempt to forget the harrowing experience, but the images still flooded her mind.
Kili heard her nearly inaudible whimper, then a quiet sniffle. He looked up from his task, seeing her shoulders shaking slightly as her head was bowed. He closed his eyes, swallowing as he looked down.
The young dwarf felt horrible over having to put her through this. He could only imagine the humiliation she felt at being so exposed. He had felt much the same way when Bordin had bullied him and nearly dropped his trousers down in front of the other dwarflings. But they didn't have any choice.
His hand stilled, and he eyed his tunic. He had planned on giving it to her afterward regardless, because he at least had his long, grey underwear on underneath. While it would be incredibly embarrassing to wear nothing but a jerkin and fur coat over his long underwear and trousers, it was far better than her not having anything at all to cover herself with. He had taken one glance at her corset, and knew that it could not be repaired. The goblins had seen to that when they cut it.
He set the knife down, and pulled the tunic and jerkin out of his belt. Removing the leather jerkin as he breathed slow, steady breaths, he untied the laces on his tunic and tried pulled it over his head, barely biting back the nearly overwhelming pain at the movement. His breaths came more quickly, and he forced himself to take deep, slow breaths to keep from hyperventilating. His deep breaths were cut short, however, by a sharp pain emitting from his ribs, and he made a strangled, low noise in his throat as he clutched at his torso, eyes tightly shut with pain.
Slowly lowering his other arm from where they had partially been lifted, he began to undo the laces entirely, knowing that, with his own injuries, he wouldn't be able to pull it over his head. If he were honest with himself, he was injured far worse than he would like to admit.
I-I must have a few cracked ribs, the young dwarf thought to himself as the throbbing in his torso continued. He had absolutely no doubts that he was badly bruised, but if he had cracked ribs, that presented a rather big problem. He knew that he would not be able to carry her without risking them cracking further, but as he glanced at the young woman's scarred back, he dismissed the concern.
She needs help far more than I do, he thought, swallowing as he resumed his task, setting the tunic aside as it slipped off his own arms. I-I will be fine. I think…
XXX
Kili heard a slight gasp behind him, and turned to see wide, terrified eyes looking at him over her shoulder.
"W-what are y-you doing?" she cried, visibly trembling as her eyes stared at his partially undressed form. Tears welled up in her eyes and began to run down her face, the blue orbs wide with panic. "I-I trusted you!" The young dwarf froze with a gasp, his eyes widening in panic as well.
"I am giving you my tunic to cover yourself with," he said quickly, his body trembling as his breaths came in rapid succession. He quickly averted his eyes. His voice cracked slightly, revealing the fright he felt at her misinterpretation. "I-I'm not….I swear, by Durin I….I wasn't going to…."
He heard her breaths slow, even as his heart hammered in his chest. His eyes shut tightly, awaiting the feeling of cold steel slicing through his back.
"Y-you're giving me your t-tunic?" she whispered, voice confused and slightly calmer. Kili's eyes slowly opened, though he did not look her way, and nodded rapidly.
"Y-yes," he said, voice trembling in fear. "I told you I was. I swear, that's all I was going to do." He was frozen in place, barely daring to breathe as silence descended upon the tiny clearing. Cirashala broke the silence after a few minutes.
"I-I'm sorry," she whispered apologetically. "I-I thought…" She trailed off, and Kili heard her take a deep breath.
"It frightened me, b-but I shouldn't have….. I-I'm sorry. P-please forgive me," she whispered, voice laced with regret. Kili looked at his hands in his lap, the teal fabric fisted in his white knuckles.
You fool! How could you forget? He thought silently, angry with himself. She was attacked by bandits before you found her. You should have known this would frighten her.
"I am sorry," he said quietly. "I did not mean to frighten you." He picked up the tunic, before lowering himself directly behind her and reaching it out to her, eyes averted. "Cover yourself up."
XXX
Cirashala took the tunic gratefully, bringing it up to cover her front and sides. It was still quite damp, but the fire had begun to dry and warm it as Kili had prepared their bandages.
She clutched the fabric to herself, making sure to leave enough at the top to help muffle her cries once Kili was ready to start his task. She felt more than a little embarrassed at her misunderstanding, realizing that the young dwarf was simply trying to preserve her modesty as best he could under the circumstances. He had no idea just how difficult it had been for her to trust him.
She hadn't had good experiences in the past when it came to young men. She had been very naïve and sheltered, and longed desperately for someone to truly love her, receiving more criticism, mocking, abuse and harshness at home than love growing up. Those few that she had allowed to get close to her had taken advantage of her easily given trust and her desire to be accepted-to be loved.
She had had her heart broken by those who did not value her for who she was, but rather how she, or more accurately, her body, could satisfy them. She had been coerced into things she did not wish, but had stubbornly held onto the one thing she could-her virtue. That had cost her two young beaus, whose true evil colors had shown themselves when the pressure to do unwanted things had begun.
She had then vowed that she would never fall prey to such evil natures ever again, and when she met her future husband, he was the only man to ever truly respect her. He loved her for who she was, not what her body could give him. He decided of his own volition to not even kiss her until their wedding vows were spoken, knowing her prior experiences, and had honored that promise.
When she had given Kili her trust, she had seen the same honor in his words and actions that her husband had shown from the first time they had met. It didn't help that he looked strikingly similar to her husband, though not identical. His eyes were the same, though, and the same respect shone from them. She had felt that Kili would truly keep his word, and his actions of the past two weeks had seemed to confirm his honorable and good heart.
But when she had seen him unexpectedly undressing, she had panicked. The thought of him being too injured to do anything of a vile nature had not even entered her thinking.
He is just like the others, she had thought to herself, her mind frantic with fear. A-and we are alone….and no one else is near….there is no one to stop him.
But when the young dwarf had revealed his honorable intentions, and had genuinely feared her reaction, she realized her mistake.
As the young dwarf finished washing her filthy strips of tunic in the creek stemming from the spring (so as to not contaminate their only source of clean water) before laying them out to dry, and crouched down behind her with the improvised cleansing rag, she took a deep breath, willing her body to relax.
He is not going to harm you, she kept saying to herself, as she felt the warm rag press against her wounds. He is your friend. You are safe. You are safe.
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A response to guest reviewer Ari- I am glad you liked it :) I will likely update today. Back hurts after a nasty night-didn't fall asleep til 6 am because of it-seriously, and had to be up at 9. So I will be resting and writing today-my little ones are refusing to let me nap, so I hope this chapter was still good regardless….despite be being so tired today.
Thanks to all who review, favorite, and follow- you guys are the best! :D :D :D
