BlairPOV-
''I'm actually impressed,'' Cassandra July turns off the music, staring at me. ''I didn't expect to be.''
It's the second week of June, and Cassandra had basically demanded that I prove if I'm as good as Jake told her I am.
''That's a compliment,'' Jake whispers in my ear, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, ''I told you, Miss July.''
''Yes you did, Jake. But you tend to give praise where it's not deserved. I think you've actually found a partner than can keep up with you. I look forward to working with toy next year,'' she then turns to Jake ,''Would you give me a minute alone with her?''
''Of course. I've gotta go anyway,'' he smiles at me ,''Good luck.''
''So,'' Cassandra begins as soon is Jake is gone ,'Jake tells me you had a rough time, and meant to apply here during your senior year of high school. What exactly happened?''
''I was bullied, and now I'm recovering from an eating disorder. Some days are better than others, and I just take it one day at a time. I had an unexpected pregnancy at sixteen, then again at eighteen. My parents are raising my first child, my fiance' and I are raising my second. My son is always my first priority, and that will never change. But I also thought it was time that I start doing something for myself,'' I explain.
She takes that in, nodding before scrutinizing me ,''I'm a tough teacher. If that comes across as 'mean', then I'm sorry. Will you be able to handle that?''
''I'm learning not to care what people think. I'm here for one reason, and one reason only: to improve my talent. Everyone has an opinion, but I have people that believe in me. It's time to start believing in myself.''
''I admire your resilience,'' she states, ''Although I do want to make one thing clear: NYADA only accepts the best. And only the best of the best don't crack under pressure. Since you're here, I expect to see you make it to the end.''
''And I won't disappoint you on that,'' I promise.
''There is one thing that I want to tell you before you leave: I understand that you love your kids more than anything. I get that. I have a daughter myself. But if you are really serious about getting your career started with no interruptions, then I suggest that you do everything you can to prevent another unplanned pregnancy.''
She doesn't speak with the venom I've grown used to when I tell some people how young I am. It's more of a concern.
''I will,'' I nod, ''Thank you, Ms. July.''
She nods before leaving, I pull my sweats on.
I know I'll have to talk to Ryder about this, but she's right. As much as I love being a mom, I won't be ready to have another kid for quite some time. I'm sure Ryder would agree. We both know from experience that condoms aren't one hundred percent guaranteed to protect against pregnancy. And I know that Ryder would never sleep with another girl, because I'd never cheat on him.
I'll just have to bring this up carefully. Ever since I declined his request to get married right away, things have been strained. We're not ignoring each other, which is a big step from the fights we would have had in high school. But he's been really weird. More so than usual, actually.
And I can't accept that. He means a lot to me. And if we're going to make this work, then we have to communicate. We've gone through too much to give up now.
Not without a fight.
BPOV-
''What's with you,'' I whisper to Blair.
It's noon, and almost time for Jacob's kindergarten graduation.
''I'm fine,'' she shakes her head, staring straight ahead.
She's such a bad liar.
It's obviously between her and Ryder, because they won't even sit next to eachother.
My mom, and the Hummels, Sugar, Rory, and the twins are in front of us are in front of us. Even if my dad and I can't see eye to eye, we've agreed to remain civil. Wish is why I wish he would've come with my mom. At least in front of the kids, he could act like everything is okay. I haven't seen him in a while, and he only texts me every other day asking how everything's going. However, if he's going to be his usual negative self, then I don't want him here.
I don't care what he says to me anymore, but he's not going to bring my kids into that.
Mom says he's just trying to deal with the fact that they almost lost me again.
No. I'm not letting him ruin this for me.
In my row, it's Ryder, Noah, Liam, Jade, Kurt, Blair, Grace and I, with me on the aisle.
''When you're ready to talk, you know I'll be ready to listen,'' I reposition Grace on my lap, so she's facing the stage.
Blair doesn't say anything, just lays her head on my shoulder.
''You're the best dad ever,'' she quietly says.
Kurt teasingly clears his throat from where he is sitting next to her.
''As are you, Kurt,'' she smiles, the first one I've seen all day, and takes his hand ,''Both of you are amazing.''
''Thank you,'' I see him squeeze her hand out of the corner of my eye, and I smile to myself.
When we first got together, it wasn't an issue that we both had kids. I can admit I'm glad that Kurt treated Blair like his own, the way I treated Rory, from the start.
It made it so much easier to fall in love with him.
''Papa, why so long,'' Grace stares up at me, and I shrug.
''Just waiting for the graduation to start.''
As if on cue, the music starts, and Ms. Simon leads the kindergartners out.
Jacob is in the front, soaking up the attention and waving at everyone as they walk the short path from the doors to the stage.
''Look at him. He's such a charmer already,'' Blair smirks.
''Well, yeah. Look who's raising him.''
''You ruined it,'' she and Kurt say at the same time, and I quietly laugh to myself before paying attention to the kids.
Jacob spots us in the front, waving at us as he moves the tassel from his cap from his face.
It may just be a kindergarten graduation to some, but I'm proud of him. Besides, they're only this little once.
''I'm so proud of you,'' Kurt picks Jacob up, pressing a kiss to his cheek when it's over.
''Thank you,'' he hugs Kurt, who secures his hold on our son.
''You did good, little brother,'' Liam high fives him, as Jade nods.
''We're very proud of you.''
''Alright, give me my grandson,'' Burt holds out his arms, and Jacob eagerly hugs him back.
''Congratulations,'' Carole presses a kiss to his cheek. holding Wendy.
Jacob is beaming, taking in all of the positive attention.
''And Jade's is tomorrow evening. So we get to do it all over again,'' I smile at her.
''Okay, we're taking everyone out to lunch. Come on,'' Kurt smiles, taking Grace from Carole ,''We'll meet you guys at the Spotlight Diner. That's where Jake wants to go.''
We sort out who we're riding with, and I ask Blair to drive me, Jacob, Noah, and Grace.
''So what's with you,'' I question Blair after lunch, when she's taking me back to the apartment.
The kids are fast asleep in the backseat, and we're trying to stay quiet.
''Ryder and I aren't exactly seeing eye to eye,'' she explains, keeping her voice down ,''And he is impossible to talk to sometimes. This is one of those times.''
''Any relationship has it's ups and downs, there are a bunch of speed bumps.''
''This is like a hill or something,'' she sighs ,''How do you and Kurt do it? You make it look so easy.''
It's so far from easy. We just try not to sweat the small things, especially with everything going on right now.
''You and Ryder love each other, Kurt and I love each other. That's why these relationships have lasted as long as they have. Is it easy? Of course not. But if you think that it's worth it, then make it work,'' I explain.
She's silent, running a hand through her curls as we park ,''I hate it when you're right.''
''But I usually am right,'' I laugh when she rolls her eyes in amusement ,''So you're going to leave Noah with us. And you and Ryder are going to talk. I don't want him there if this turns into a fight.''
If Kurt and I have learned anything, it's that we didn't want to fight in front of the kids. Whatever had to be said could be said when we were alone.
''Thank you. I appreciate that,'' she looks out of the window, ''Kurt's here.''
''Hey, you two. What's up,'' he smiles as he opens my door.
''Not much. But Noah will be staying with us tonight,'' I give him a pointed look that begs him not to question it in front of Blair, which he thankfully understands.
''Of course. We're always happy to babysit our grandkids,'' he grins, knowing I'll explain everything later.
Not in detail, but I'm not keeping any secrets from my husband.
And I honestly hope that Blair and Ryder can work it out. She's obviously just as in love with him as he is with her, even if they're both stubborn as hell. It's rare to find the one that young.
It took years, but I would have waited even longer for Kurt. My mom always told me that anything or anyone worth having was worth the wait and effort that they deserved to get. Kurt was worth it. He's so worth it.
And now there's no doubt in my mind that he feels the same about me.
RyderPOV-
It's twelve in the morning when I come back in the apartment.
What was supposed to be a calm, mature conversation turned into a fight, and I'd left before I said something stupid.
Call me selfish, but if I lose her, it won't be because I said something I didn't even mean.
''Hey,'' I lean against the doorframe to our bedroom, where she's sitting up against the headboard when I get back, reading.
''Hi.''
''Can I come in, Blair?''
''It's your room, too,'' she shrugs, avoiding my eyes as she turns the page.
I sit on the bed, letting the silence envelop us before she speaks again.
''I was worried about you. You were gone for hours,'' she looks down ,''Don't scare me like that again.''
I guess I had that coming. I hate it when she's late and doesn't let me know, and I know what it's like to worry about someone you love.
''I won't,'' I reassure her.
''And I'm sorry for everything I said,'' she pushes some hair off her shoulders ,''We were both out of line, from what I can remember.''
''I'm sorry, too.''
That's why I left, though. To give us both some time to cool down before one of us said something that we'd regret.
''Everyone, except my parents, thinks we're dragging this out too long. That we should just break up, and stop trying to make this work,'' she plays with her fingers ,''I can't say that I haven't thought that myself.''
''So have I.''
But I don't want this relationship to end. It's not easy, and sometimes I consider it a miracle that we're even still together.
But that doesn't mean we're not worth it.
We both know that we are.
''We are going to be involved with each other for a long time, even if we break up. We do have a son together,'' she sighs ,''And if this doesn't workout, I don't want it to be because we didn't try, or because we rushed into something. So we might as well air every issue we have with each other out right now. I know you think I want another form of birth control just because Ms. July said I need it, but think about it. We can't afford a baby right now. And I'm not saying we can never have another baby, Ryder. I'm just saying we both have careers to get started with, and one child is enough for us right now.''
''That's what I thought about when I left. Look, I'm going to support this. I can't make you do anything, but I can support your decision. Just promise to tell me what you decide before you actually do anything, okay?''
''That sounds reasonable to me,'' she agrees, still avoiding eye contact.
There's a long silence, and I'm guessing it's my turn, so I speak.
''Do you not want to marry me because you don't feel the same anymore? I just really need to know,'' I look at her, even if she won't make eye contact with me ,''Because I know that people's feelings changed. We see it in our friends, my parents… if you're not happy, just let me know.''
She lays her head on my shoulder, taking my hand and lacing our fingers together ,''We're not our friends. We're not your parents, and we're not my parents. And I love you, Ryder. Please stop doubting that. I don't want to marry you yet because I need to work on myself, and my career, and so do you.''
''I guess you're right,'' I run a thumb across the back of her hand.
She smiles, moving closer to me.
''I'm working on my confidence. Have you ever heard that you can't love someone until you learn to love yourself. I'm getting there. This is the first time in so long that I've really, really felt confident in myself. Not once today did I have anything bad to say about the way I look. I want to marry you, and I want to use my career to help other people love themselves no matter what, and I never want Noah or any of our other kids to go through what I did. But I have got to love myself before I can do any of that.''
I've never understood why she can't see herself the way that I do. But as long as she's finally learning to love herself, I need to be behind her.
''For what it's worth, I love you. And I'd love you, your body, and everything else about you no matter what. But I understand,'' I begin as she looks up at me ,''I care about you, okay? You're kinda my best friend, other than Jake. And, even if we break up, you're still a really big part of my life.''
''You're a huge part of mine, too,'' she kisses me ,''And we are not giving up without a fight. We're going to be okay, I promise. I love you, too.''
''I love you, too,'' I kiss her head ,''We will be fine.''
Despite what everyone thinks- especially my parents- this isn't a mistake. Blair and I are in love, and that's enough for now.
I just hope it always will be.
KPOV-
''Do you think it's anything serious,'' I ask, lifting Blaine out of his chair and onto the bed.
''Depends on what you mean by serious,'' he sighs, settling into the pillows.
He's worried about Blair, that much is obvious. And I am, too. We both know how badly things can go when she doesn't tell anyone what's going on with her.
Neither one of us wants to find out she's been hospitalized again.
''I don't think she's pregnant again, because she would have said something. Whatever it is, I hope she and Ryder work it out,'' I lay next to him ,''They've been through too much already.''
Sometimes I think they need a break from eachother, just to work it out. It could be helpful for them. Taking that break with Blaine made me realize I couldn't want anyone else, not when I have the best.
Maybe taking some time away from eachother could do the same for Blair and Ryder.
''You and I got really lucky, you know,'' Blaine wraps an arm around me as I lay my head on his chest ,''We found eachother. Some people spend their whole lives looking for this.''
''And here we are, married. And to think we met in an auditorium after a show choir performance,'' I kiss him, and don't hesitate to return the gesture when Blaine deepens the kiss.
''It's amazing how different relationships can be,'' Blaine pulls away to soon for my liking, ''Sugar and Rory have this whole peaceful quitness to their relationship. Every issue is faced upfront, and I think the most I've seent hem argue is that little fight in the car earlier. Then there's Ryder and Blair. They've gotten a lot better together, I have to admit. But it seems like there's a little tension there. Especially now. Then there's us, and we're somewhere in the middle.''
''True, but we're all different people. And we can't control what our kids do in their relationships. All we can do is be there for them when they need us. Of course I hope that they find someone like you and I found eachother,'' I take his hand, ''Because I think this is amazing.''
''Of course it is,'' my husband smirks ,''I want them to find something like this, too. Kurt, I know I say this a lot, but I mean it. I wouldn't want to do this with another man. I love you, and I appreciate everything that you have done for me. Espeiially considering the past few months.''
He's been hard on himself, but he's doing so well. He's so optimistic, and Michelle says that he is improving more and more each session.
If he believes in himself, then so do I.
''I love you, too. And don't you dare thank me, Blaine Anderson-Hummel. For better or for worse, right? You'd do the same for me. Sometimes you have to be there for the other person, even when they don't want, need, or ask you to be. You're always trying to save me, anyways.''
You've already saved me before. It's my turn now.
''Things wiht my dad aren't exactly ideal, and sometimes I worry about making mistakes with raising the kids. But I know the one thing I never have to worry about is us. I try to focus on the positive. The glee kids came home with a second place trophy, our son graduated today, our daughter will graduate tomorrow, and Liam has his license,'' he kisses me again ,''And I promise you one more good thing: by the end of this year, I am going to be walking.''
A part of me that doesn't want to admit it wants to warn Blaine not to make promises that he can't keep. It's also the same side that told me Blaine was no good for me, and I'd only get hurt.
Luckily I have gotten good at tuning it out.
''And I promise I'm going to be right by your side when you do. Now, get some sleep. We have to be up early tomorrow.''
''Alright,'' he yawns as I help him under our sheets ,''I love you, Kurt.''
''I love you, too.''
I may be uncertain of a lot of things- how well my fashion line will do, if Blaine isn't telling me how he feels about his strained relationship with his dad, what my kids want to do with their lives, how I'm possibly going to tell Blaine what I have been putting off for two months- but that is one thing that I am always sure about.
And that's one thing that won't change.
I know it was short, but big news for Klaine in the next chapter. And a surprise for Sugar and Rory. I wanted to resolve the Ryder/Blair conflict before Kurt and Blaine's big news, so what do you think? Holding on too long, or perfect together? And Kurt has a surprise for Blaine, too.
Disclaimer- glee belongs to Fox and Ryan Murphy
