Chapter Fifty Three
Charlotte
I ran outside to where the Major lay just where he'd hit the ground, still covered in broken glass. I pulled him to his feet and dragged him back inside, sitting him in the kitchen and pulling a chair up in front of him.
"Major, you have to pull yourself together. She's going to need you more than ever when she wakes up."
He shook his head.
"She won't want me after what I've done to her."
"She wanted you to change her anyway."
"Not like that, not then Char. She trusted me to keep her safe. I promised to protect her and look at what I did. Peter's right, I tried to kid myself I was better than my reputation. I was just deluding myself. I really am the monster they say I am. I tried Char, I really thought I was a different person with her by my side, but I can't get away from the truth."
Peter
I heard the conversation and my blood boiled. If Char started trying to make him feel better I was going to rip her a new one too.
"Major, she's your wife, your mate, and she will need you. She'll forgive you, I know she will."
"No, she won't. Why should she? I have to go, get away from here."
That was it.
"I'll be back in a minute, Bella."
I patted her hand and stormed into the kitchen.
"You aren't going anywhere, Major. Not until she wakes up and decides what she wants to do with you. She has a right to tell you what she thinks of you, or are you too much of a coward to face that?"
"Peter, stop it."
"Charlotte, keep the fuck out of this. It's between us, I would say man to man, but I don't think a man would do what this fucker did to his wife. She's upstairs enduring the fires of hell while he sits here getting tea and fucking sympathy from you. I'd have thought as Bella's friend you would be a little more loyal."
"Now you listen to me, Peter. What's happened has happened and can't be taken back but you have no right to talk on Bella's behalf. You have no idea what she's thinking at the moment or what she'll say when she wakes up."
"Well let me hazard a wild guess. How about 'This hurts like a bitch please make it stop and when she wakes up, 'Come here you miserable fucker and let me show you what I think of you'. Does that sound plausible?"
Charlotte
I was furious with him, but before I could try to defend the Major the phone rang and we all looked at it knowing it was likely to be Charlie ringing to speak to his daughter.
Peter smiled maliciously.
"Well, this is going to be an interesting fucking conversation, 'Hi Charlie, Bella can't come to the phone right now because I bit her and now she's suffering in hell. Some honeymoon this turned out to be."
He picked up the phone and threw it towards Jasper, "Be my fucking guest," but I intercepted it.
"Hello?"
As we had feared, it was Charlie.
"Oh, hi Charlie. I'm sorry they aren't here at the moment, we're just packing the place up. They went away for a few days but I'll get them to call as soon as they get to the house."
"Oh right. Well, I hope they're having fun. You take care."
"Sure, nice to talk to you again."
I threw the phone back to Peter.
"Right, that's got Charlie off our back until after Bella wakes up. She can decide what she wants to tell him then."
"Decide? Speak to Charlie? Do you remember anything about newborns, Charlotte? She won't be doing more than snarling and snapping for months. It's another mess the Major has landed us with to sort out."
I glanced at the Major who sat, eyes closed, seemingly oblivious to Peter's rage
"Enough Peter. Now back off."
He scowled at me and the Major before spinning on his heel angrily and storming back into the bedroom.
Peter
Why Charlotte was defending him I had no idea. I didn't know what we were going to do about Charlie either, but for now, our concern should be for Bella. She was restless as I walked back in the room and I took her hand trying to reassure her, but she pulled away. The strange thing was that she didn't appear to be in any distress, nor did she feel cooler and during the transformation, the human body temperature dropped pretty quickly. Her skin still felt very soft too and I began to worry that something had gone very wrong.
I felt guilty, I'd disliked Bella when I first met her and I'd made her life as difficult as possible, but she'd never turned on me. She just kept on being Bella until I realized that she was a very special young woman. Sure I'd been jealous that the Major had found himself such a girl. Hell, she reminded me of Charlotte when I first met her. She had spirit and she put her trust in us, in me. I should have seen this coming. I should have anticipated it and done something to prevent it from happening this way.
If anyone should have understood the risks it was me. I remembered the first girl I had fallen for after becoming a vampire. She was a pretty human called Rosa and I had promised to keep her safe from the newborns and change her, make her my wife. The fact that Maria would never allow such a thing seemed insignificant at the time, I was in love.
Then, I ruined it all by biting her the first time we had sex. I had savaged her, then unwilling to see the look of horror and loathing in her face when she woke up I killed her. I'd told the Major it had been Maria teaching me a lesson and he'd believed me because it was the kind of thing that Maria might well do.
I'd carried that guilty secret for over a century and seeing Bella with her throat savaged in the same way had brought it all back to me.
I had to ease up on the Major. I was acting irrationally as far as he and Charlotte were concerned and I wasn't going to explain and give up my guilty secret now. How come he had been stronger than me? That he had made the right choice while I… I had been a fool.
I heard a sound behind me and turned to see the Major standing in the doorway and I just couldn't help myself.
"What the fuck do you want?"
He ignored me and walked slowly to the bed staring down at Bella.
"Well? Come to gloat?"
He knelt down and took her hand folding it into his and bowing his head silently. I had hoped she might pull free of him or react in some way but she did nothing. I found myself wondering if I was the only one angry with him. Did she love him so much that she forgave him his betrayal?
I walked out in disgust to find Char waiting for me.
"What? You have something to say, woman?"
She nodded and took me by the arm sighing as she squeezed my tense muscles.
"Peter, you have to accept they are mates, and whatever he has done she will forgive him. I know it and so does he, however much he's beating himself up over it. You have to get over your own anger, and ask yourself if you would have done any differently in his place?"
Bella
I didn't know what was happening to me, only that it wasn't what I or anyone else could have expected. The heat had gone, the pain of Jasper's venom had vanished, yet here I was in limbo.
I could hear Peter shouting at Jasper, my champion although I needed none. I just wished he would listen to Charlotte. She was right, I would forgive Jasper anything because I loved him and I knew he loved me. All Peter was doing was to make Jasper's pain and guilt worse.
If vampire venom wasn't working it's deadly poison on my fragile human body then what had stopped it? How was it possible that my body could fight it off and if it had then what did that mean for our future? If I couldn't be changed then that meant I would grow old and die, leaving Jasper alone again. No, that wasn't possible, there had to be a way of changing me, I wouldn't give up the fight to stay at his side for eternity.
I concentrated and I could feel Jasper beside me once more, his hand gripping mine desperately as he prayed quietly for my forgiveness. I tried to squeeze his hand, to give him some sign that I could hear him. To let him know that I loved him and forgave him, but nothing happened.
Panic welled up inside me. What if his venom had left me in a waking coma? What if I could never communicate with Jasper? That was far more frightening than becoming a vampire or even dying. To be trapped in a body that no longer responded to my commands.
How long had I been like this? I tried to think back, it must be twenty-four hours now surely? Yes, longer possibly as Charlie had called so he was back home. Just a minute, how did I know dad had called? I had heard the call, but how? The others had been in the kitchen with the door closed, but I had heard every word. Did this mean that Jasper's venom was turning me into a vampire but differently to the way venom usually worked? Oh God, I hoped so.
Jasper
I couldn't feel Bella's emotions any longer. It was as if she had shut me out and if so then I didn't blame her. I heard what Charlotte said and I prayed that she was right. That because Bella was my mate she would forgive what I'd done, but how could I believe that? I had killed her at the very second we became one. No woman could forgive that treachery yet until she opened her eyes and told me to leave I would hold onto a sliver of hope. How long would I have to wait for that? Peter had pointed out that as a newborn she wouldn't be able to think coherently for months or years and I couldn't expect to hear anything she had thought about deeply until then.
I guess I should have been angry with Peter for his attitude but I couldn't. He was showing a fierce loyalty to Bella and for that I was grateful. She would need a friend like that if she rejected me and I knew he and Charlotte would do all in their power to keep her safe and guide her.
Charlotte
I think we all knew something very strange was happening here. Bella was not reacting like a human undergoing the transformation and we were experts on that. We'd seen way too many in our time with Maria. Bella was quiet and still, too warm, and her heart and lungs were almost back to normal after an initial quickening.
As a result of this, we stood around unwilling to leave her for a second. Peter no longer scowled at the Major, he was too worried about Bella and no one spoke. The only sounds in the room were the soft ticking of the clock from the kitchen and the shuffle of feet as one or other of us moved slightly from time to time, a habit we got into so as not to stand out among humans.
Then there was a shift, Bella's heartbeat speeded up once more and I saw her fingers spasm. The Major felt it and turned to stare at me. I saw what he was thinking and shook my head.
"Don't even think about it, Major."
"I have to Charlotte. I couldn't bear to see her look at me with loathing. She deserves so much better. Peter was right."
"No, he wasn't. Peter's never right, we both know that."
My husband opened his mouth looking outraged then shut it again when he saw the warning flash in my eyes.
"Are you going to run away from your responsibilities? That doesn't sound like the Major we know."
He dropped her hand and moved to the window wrenching his eyes from Bella to glance at me.
"Please tell her I'm sorry, that I love her and I always will."
Then he jumped, landing lightly on the balls of his feet and ran off. Didn't he know that you couldn't run from your guilt? He would carry it around his neck like a millstone dragging him further and further down. Besides, where could he go? Bella was his mate, he couldn't just abandon her.
I think maybe he wanted to punish himself further. He knew if Bella woke up now as whatever, certainly not a full vampire, and killed him if that was even possible, then it would be out of some form of newborn rage. He wanted her to hunt him down and kill him in cold blood out of revenge so he could feel he had really suffered. Well, Major, newsflash, she won't, but I just might. You stupid, blind, muddle-headed man!
Peter
Personally, I thought he'd done the right thing, the only honorable thing. He had no right here with the girl who trusted him and who he had betrayed at the very moment she should have felt the ultimate love between them.
Charlotte moved to the window to watch him go and I cursed, if she called him back or went after him I would go nuts.
"Leave him, Charlotte. Bella is our concern now, he bit her and now he's abandoned her. Let him run like the coward he turned out to be. Perhaps one day she'll catch up with the fucker and I hope I'm there to see it when she tears him into chunks and sets fire to them."
She turned on me eyes flashing dangerously.
"Peter, have a little compassion."
"Sorry, but I'm right out of that. Pity for Bella I have in spades, but that bastard deserves all he gets."
I stopped as Bella moved slowly and her eyes flickered open.
Bella
I knew Jasper was gone and for a second I felt a flicker of anger, how dare he leave me like this? Then I understood, he feared my reaction more than appearing a coward to everyone who mattered. Opening my eyes I found I could move and after a quick inventory I decided I didn't feel any different, well not much. I could still feel the blood pumping around my body, my heart still beat and I felt my lungs inflate and deflate as I breathed.
Peter and Charlotte stood transfixed but ready to move if I decided to attack. As a newborn, I should be full of rage and ready to destroy anything that moved. Edward had explained all about newborns and their ungovernable rage, but I didn't feel like that. So, what had happened to me?
I sat up slowly and stretched, looking around me. The light was different, everything appeared clearer and my hearing was more acute. A fly buzzed past the smashed window and I heard the beat of its wings and saw the beautiful iridescent colors of its wings. Some things had changed but I wasn't a vampire, so what was I?
I lifted a hand to my throat exploring the spot where Jasper's teeth had sunk into my flesh. I could feel a ridge, a scar that marred the flesh which felt colder than the surrounding skin. How could such a wound have healed so quickly?
Shouldn't I have a terrible thirst? I mean, I should be crazy for blood right now, but that was absent too. There was a terrible hunger deep in my soul but that wasn't for blood. Jasper might not be here and his bite healed, but I still had that ache deep inside me, a need to find him and bring him home, by my side.
Charlotte
I smiled and moved very slowly to join Bella who sat up looking confused. She glanced at me and I saw her eyes had not changed color nor was her face contorted by rage.
"Bella, do you know who we are?"
She nodded, "Of course. What happened to me, Charlotte? Something went wrong."
Peter snorted and she turned on him.
"We should have anticipated something like it happening and you gave him a really hard time which was uncalled for. So be quiet, Peter."
We exchanged puzzled looks.
"You heard that, Bella?"
She nodded and then it occurred to her why we were asking.
"But I shouldn't have. Should I? Why didn't his venom change me?"
I shook my head totally baffled, I'd never heard of a transformation that failed before.
"How do you feel Bella?"
She looked at me with a frown.
"Unhappy, lonely, and really confused."
"But not thirsty?"
She shook her head, "No. I need to speak to Jasper, Charlotte."
"After everything he's done you still want to see him? Nothing you do makes sense to me girl."
Ignoring him I continued to speak quietly to Bella.
"We don't know where he is. As soon as he knew you were waking he took off."
"Fucking coward."
Bella turned her eyes on Peter and just for a second I could have sworn that they blazed red.
"Don't you dare judge him, Peter Whitlock. What he did was instinct, he had no control over it. I have to find him and tell him I don't blame him. I need him and I know he's still around somewhere."
That sounded about right. He wouldn't really leave until he'd seen her and knew she was fine. Even then I didn't think he'd be able to travel far from his mate and I knew Peter would have considered that a fitting punishment for him, to be able to see her but not touch her.
" You want me to go find him?"
I knew Peter was doing his best to make peace with Bella but she shook her head.
"No. I'll find him, but thanks for the offer, Peter."
"We'll both go with you," I offered.
"No. If he sees me with you he's going to think he can leave me and I need him here now. I don't want to have to chase him around the globe."
"Oh, I don't think he'd actually run away from you, Bella. He's not that much of a coward. He'll stand and take anything you decide to throw at him."
"Well, I might just throw you if you don't shut up, Peter."
Peter backed away holding up his hands in surrender.
"OK, you win. My mouth is shut, but I think you'll find him down by the creek. He usually goes to a river or lake when he wants to brood."
"You think he's brooding?"
"No. Actually, I think he's tearing himself to pieces over what he did. You be careful Bella, you have no idea how he'll react to seeing you."
She nodded and then hesitated.
"Which way is the creek?"
Peter allowed himself a shadow of a smile.
"Just let instinct take over. You'll feel him."
As she left she turned to speak to Peter over her shoulder.
"So instinct is OK sometimes?"
He grimaced, "Touche, Bella," And we watched as she set off in the direction of the creek without stopping to think about it.
