Hi everyone! First of all I want to thank and welcome miaparker and LucyRider17 for joining us on this fic and reviewing it! It's never too late! THANKS! :)
To miaparker : I know you won't read this today because you're reading chapter 21 now but when you'll arrive here, just you'll know I officially welcome you! :) Thanks for your spontaneity and your generosity! It's always a pleasure to read your comments! And your quote on chapter 20 could apply here too! Also, your review is the 150th one and I'm glad it's yours!
Then I need to say that this part of the story was so long that I had to divide it into 3 parts! So here is the first part of the "night". I hope you'll like it.
For the record, I erased this chapter by mistake … It's not what it was but I hope you'll still enjoy the reading!
Let's get the party started
"Surprise!" everyone screamed when the girls entered the bar. Alexandra jumped in surprise at the sound of the cheers, but quickly recomposed her face.
"Oh my God," she murmured to herself before starting to smile at everyone. The bar had been decorated for the occasion. A big banner with 'Welcome back" written on it had been attached at the ceiling. Some colored fabric had been hung everywhere to make the room warmer. In a second she was gathered by people.
They were people she had seen during her patrols, helping them or just chatting with them, some she had just met once, yet every face was etched to her memory. They all told her how happy they were to see her again and how glad they were to have her safe back home. It was really awkward to see so many people caring for one person. Alexandra was struggling to keep a grateful smile on her face. How could so many people be concerned about her? It seemed ridiculous. What had she done to deserve this? Surely, it was not for her nice attitude since she had arrived yesterday. They were overreacting, they could have not missed her that much, could they?
She was not used to getting so much attention and probably would never be. She liked things to be simple, she liked people, but not like tonight. It was far too crowded for her, making her almost claustrophobic. Alexandra didn't like surprises. Not that she hated them, she just didn't like to be surprised. And here she was, surrounded, feeling like an animal caught in the light of a car, stuck, unable to move. To keep up appearances, she repeated many thank yous to everyone. Her cheeks were hurting as she was trying to maintain a bright smile on her face the whole time.
"Music!" Taylor shouted eventually after what seemed, to Alexandra, like an eternity of embraces and greeting. At the first notes of the music, Alexandra knew what it was.
"So this is what you needed my plex for," she shoved gently Maddy.
"Guilty!" She smiled, obviously very proud of her subterfuge.
Music, that was something Alexandra had missed a lot. Music had always helped her, no matter how bad the day was going to be or how hard it had been, it had always lightened her mood. It was a really sweet of Maddy to have thought she would appreciate it. She definitively was a good and sincere friend. Alexandra made a mental note to herself to thank her later for her generosity.
As people started to leave her, Alexandra glanced around the room. That was when she spotted Lucas, leant against the wall, arms folded on his chest. She had not seen him before, but was quite sure she would have prefer to keep it that way. She didn't want to see him. Their last meetings had been too strange and she had not found a solution to change that situation.
Of course, she should have known he would be there. Like with the portal earlier, he could not be somewhere else tonight. He didn't seem to be in a good mood though, his green eyes as dark as coal. Yes, he was furious about something, Alexandra was sure of it. She knew this attitude too well: he was fuming inside. If his attitude has not been so hard, he could have been compared to a kid pouting. Alexandra suppressed the smile that was coming at this comparison when she saw Lucas tilt his head to the side and stare at her. She tried to hold his gaze, but found out she couldn't and stopped immediately, redirecting her eyes to the bar where Boylan was waving for her to come over.
Lucas didn't want to be there. He had argued with his father the minute Alexandra had left the headquarters. He thought the Shannon's idea was stupid. How could they organize a surprise party when a menace was planning over their heads? He had so many theories to explore, so many ideas to test and he was very upset his father couldn't see the importance of it. But his father had never understood his work. Wasn't it why he had fought with him in the first place? Lucas had spent his afternoon working with Malcolm and Thomas, preparing themselves for the next day and he had hated stopping his calculations and leaving the lab to come here and pretend to have fun.
First, he was sure Alexandra wouldn't like this surprise, he knew her well enough to assure she wouldn't. She had never liked surprises. Second, he didn't like parties. They were so overrated. People would pretend they liked everyone, smile and chat like they were all friends. Lucas couldn't stand it. Yet he was here. He knew he couldn't be somewhere else. It was driving him mad to feel weak enough to obey his father and come here. Actually, he was more furious with Alexandra for the power she still had over him. He had to be there even if he should be elsewhere.
"And a gin and tonic for the Frenchy!" Boylan smiled at Alexandra as she arrived at the bar.
"Oh thanks, but no thanks," she shook her head.
"Oh come on, I made it special for you! Half gin, half tonic," he beamed.
"Ok then, cheers," she said, bringing the glass to her lips, yet not sipping into it. She knew alcohol wouldn't help her. It would only make things worse. And she was the main attraction for the night, she had to behave.
The next hour passed in a blur. The party was on and Alexandra had no free time on her own. There was always someone to talk to her, offer her a drink or ask for a dance with her. She tried to talk, but strangely was not very good at it. She didn't want to talk about herself. And for the rest, she had refused everything. She was not inclined for a dance and had decided that water would be her main and only drink for the night. When she realized she was alone for the first time, she exhaled loudly in relief and hid herself in a corner, taking some time to observe the room.
Jim and Elisabeth were slowly dancing, looking at each other with love. They seemed to be more in love than before, if it was even possible. It made her smile. She liked them a lot and they were a good example that love could survive everything. Some other couples were dancing. She was amazed to see that, even more than hundred years after those songs had been written, people could be moved by music so easily. They couldn't possibly know the songs that were on, yet they appreciated it and were affected by it.
Alexandra saw Skye for the first time of the evening. She was laughing with Tasha and Hunter. By the way the two were looking at each other, flirting and moving in symbiosis, they surely were back together.
Josh was talking with Maddy and Mark opposite them, but Alexandra could tell he was not listening to a single word Mark was saying. Every second, he was furtively glancing at Skye. Alexandra knew why they were not together anymore, yet it was obvious Josh still had feelings for Skye. Maybe Skye knew it and that was why she was laughing so loudly to attract his attention, and from where she was, Alexandra could tell that if it was her plan, it was working. Josh was really struggling to keep eye contact with Mark and Maddy, and on Skye at the same time.
Alexandra's smile faded and she froze when she heard a new song filling the room with its melody.
'Now and then I think of when we were together. Like when you said you felt so happy you could die. Told myself that you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company. But that was love and it's an ache I still remember.'
Her heart tightened at the words. Unwillingly, she had associated this song with Lucas the year before. It was not like their relationship was the same story as the one in the song, but Alexandra was touched by the audible pain of the singer. She had listened to it a lot when she had ended their relationship. At the time, she was angry with everyone, but this song used to tear her soul down.
She felt someone staring at her and looked at her left side to find Lucas' dark green eyes scrutinizing her. The way he was observing her and analyzing her, made her uncomfortable. He was not smiling or teasing her, no, it was like he despised her. She tried to hold his stare but found out she, once again, couldn't and quickly glanced down to the floor.
'You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness. Like resignation to the end, always the end. So when we found that we could not make sense. Well you said that we would still be friends. But I'll admit that I was glad it was over.'
Lucas couldn't stop glaring at Alexandra. He was so angry with her. He really hated to be there and he didn't like the way she was avoiding him. She was a total contradiction. She clearly didn't want to be there, yet she was smiling at everyone, playing someone she was not. She had said she wanted to be his friend, but she was willingly staying away from him. Of course he had said he didn't want her friendship, but it didn't mean he didn't want her in his life, on the contrary, he wanted her more than before and her refusal was driving him insane.
'But you didn't have to cut me off. Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing. And I don't even need your love. But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough.'
Alexandra could feel his eyes boring into her, but she couldn't look at him. She didn't know how to be with him. He wanted to be with her and she had said no. She wanted him to be her friend and he had said no. Now, what were they to each other? Their meeting this morning and his possessive and protective attitude had scared her. He was not going to let it go, she knew it. But even if he was angry, she felt sad for him. Maybe it was just because of this sad song or maybe it was just because she was weak, but she suddenly felt worried about him. Maybe she should give him a try. Maybe she should be gentler with him.
"What?" Lucas snapped, annoyed. Alexandra jumped in surprise as she found out she had walked to him absentmindedly.
"I..." She was speechless. Whatever she had thought of telling him, it was gone. "Nothing."
"Go ahead," he insisted. "Spit it out!" He said dryly. As she didn't reply, Lucas continued his attacks. "Yeah right, as useless as you are I'm not surprised it's nothing," he scolded witheringly.
Alexandra was quite shocked by Lucas' wrath. Why was he so angry with her? She started to feel guilty, then she remembered she had nothing to be blamed for. She didn't like his attitude. She was not his enemy, why was he playing hard with her? He had no reason.
Lucas knew he was not rational, and knowing that was not helping him. He was someone straight minded and smart. But in Alexandra's presence, he was just a tiny boy. His only way to fight this feeling was to bite before being bitten. He was totally aware he was hurting her but couldn't stop the words from getting out of his mouth.
'Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over. But had me believing it was always something that I'd done. But I don't wanna live that way. Reading into every word you say. You said that you could let it go. And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know.'
Anger was slowly rising up in Alexandra's body. She hated Lucas for making her experience such extreme feelings. A minute ago she was sad for him and now she was upset with him. Her eyes began to prickle and she knew she was so furious that she was going to cry. She tightened her jaw in frustration and looked away. Away from Lucas' cold attitude, away from his so close yet so far away body, away from his smug face, away from his withering glare.
Lucas was struggling not to reach for her and force her to look at him. Lucas' fit of anger was at his highest level. Now she was inches away from him, he was even more unable to behave himself.
"You should go if you have nothing to say," he hissed in a whisper.
Alexandra's heart sank at his statement. Words could be like knives, they could cut you open. And here she was, deeply hurt. When she looked at him again, her eyes were bright with tears.
At her sight, all the anger Lucas had in him faded away in an instant. He regretted every single word he had said, he wanted to erase the last minutes that had passed and restart their conversation. Lucas opened his mouth, but if he said something, Alexandra didn't hear it.
'Now you're just somebody that I used to know.'
The sentence of the song made sense like it had never been before. It was like the singer had answered Lucas for Alexandra. She stared at him a little bit longer and turned her back to him. Without a word or another glance, she walked outside the bar, too disappointed to do something else.
Lucas stayed still at the bar, unable to move. Mark had once told him that only true love was always unconditional. It could make you experience a lot of extreme feelings, you could hate your soul mate and yet still be infinitely in love with her. Only now Lucas understood what Mark had meant. Lucas could be as angry with her as he wanted, but love would always win. He would always come back to her in the end. But would she?
Damon, who had seen them talking, followed her outside, sending a dark glare to Lucas on his way. Mark and Maddy followed her too but didn't judge Lucas. They had decided a long time ago that Lucas and Alexandra's relationship was complicated, but above all private.
Mark had shared his house with Lucas long enough to know that he was not the bad guy he wanted people to think he was. Of course, he was a pain in the ass, always bragging and reminding him he was the genius of the house, yet he was sincere. At least, Lucas was not the kind of friend who would lie to make you feel better. He would tell you the truth, even if it would hurt you, because he believed truth was needed to be told. Leaving people in ignorance was something Lucas couldn't tolerate. And even if 'friend' was not the right word to define their relationship, he liked the guy and he was not going to abandon him now. He had seen him sink when Alexandra had been gone, now he was just hoping he would get his life back on tracks.
"Alex! Hey, what's going on?" Damon asked her as he reached for her.
"It's nothing, I'm alright," she lied.
"Alex…" He sighed as he noticed the tears forming at the corners of her eyes.
"It's just… It's just, I spent the last year with no one caring for me and now… This party… Those people… You… It's too much for me," she burst out in tears. Maddy couldn't stand her friend's distress and took her in her arms.
"Alex," Maddy soothed her. "It's okay. You're here now, you're home. We're here," she continued, rocking her gently. Maddy looked at Mark over Alexandra's shoulder and they didn't need to talk to understand the other one's feeling. They were both sad for her. After a moment, Alexandra got out from her friend's arms. Maddy joined Mark who put his arm around her waist and gave her a chaste kiss to show her his support.
"I'm happy, I swear," Alexandra smiled, using)her hands to erase the last traces of tears that were on her cheeks. "I know how lucky I am," she added, biting her bottom lip shyly. "You are the perfect friends."
"You're such a wimp!" Damon smiled, grabbing her arms with his hands and pulling her into his embrace. Alexandra didn't want to be so close with him, but she needed her friend. And like he had always been, he was there for her, and she would not refuse his help. Damon had never let her down, never, she knew it. It was a comforting thought to realize their friendship had never died.
"Shall we go back inside now?" Damon eventually asked reluctantly. He could have stayed like that forever, having her safely in his arms. But it was not the best time for it and they were not alone. He could feel Mark and Maddy's questioning gazes on him.
"Go inside, I'll come in a minute," she answered. The three of them looked at her with concern. "I'm okay, I just need few minutes on my own," she reassured them.
She wanted to be alone. She still felt fragile and was afraid to cry again. Why was she so sensitive? The lack of sleep explained most of it. She was already exhausted when she had arrived the day before, and her last night had been really short. Yet, she had seen worse. Why was it that life seemed harder to handle here? She had not been herself since that day her father had abducted her, since that day she had decided to end her life. If she stood in front of herself right now she would not even recognize herself. She was someone stronger than that. Life had made her skin thicker, but here she felt vulnerable and this feeling was infuriating her.
"Ok," Damon nodded unwillingly. "See you in a minute," he added before kissing her gently on her forehead. He went inside, followed by Mark and Maddy, leaving Alexandra alone with her thoughts.
