Chapter Forty-Four: Throw in a Porsche, and You're Forgiven

"Hey Jess," Lindsay called out as she dropped her bag in her room. Wandering back to the living room, she found her roommate curled up with a book about the Great Vowel Shift. Hmm… am I in the mood for a linguistics lecture? Or do I just not ask? I think I'll go with option two.

Lindsay curled up on the other end of the couch. "I wanted to thank you."

"What for?" Jess bookmarked her page and looked at her friend in interest.

"For not telling Sheldon about the… thing I almost said," she blushed and bit her lip. I was probably still technically drunk from the night before, considering how much I'd had to drink.

Jess blushed a bit, herself, "Yeah, well… what are friends for?" She hadn't technically told him, after all. He'd managed to guess, all on his own.

"I just don't know what I'd do if it somehow got back to Danny, is all." Probably commit ritual seppuku in order to avoid the inevitable months of teasing.

"Yeah…" Jess looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Anyway, I spent half the day up to my eyeballs in KY Jelly, so I think I'm going to go have a shower."

"… I… you…" Jess gave up trying to reply to that statement. "Have fun."

"I always do!" Lindsay called from her room as she undressed.

Jess waited til Lindsay was safely in the shower, then called Sheldon. "Sheldon, sweetie. Honey. Cupcake."

"Uhoh. What did I do?"

"Please tell me that you didn't tell anyone what I told you at dinner last night?"

"Umm. Well… not told exactly. Not as such, no." He knew he was probably going to have to spring for champagne, now, too.

Jess covered her face with her hands. Lindsay was going to kill her. "Who all knows?"

"Uh. Actually, pretty much everyone except Danny." Maybe jewelry, too.

"I'm a dead woman."

"I'll be sure to read something nice at your funeral." And a really expensive dinner.

"You think you won't be dead, too?"

"Good point." At a five-star hotel.

"You're picking me up at eight."

"I'll make the reservations."

………

Danny opened his door, surprised to see Linday Monroe standing there with pizza and beer.

"Montana! This is a surprise." Never thought I'd see the day.

"A good one, I hope?" I can't believe I'm nervous. It's just Danny, for crying out loud.

"Of course, c'mon in." Daaaamn. He couldn't stop himself from checking out her ass in the tight jeans she wore. Combine that with the T-shirt that was short enough it revealed her bellybutton when she moved, and he was definitely enjoying this surprise. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just figured that you had a pretty rough day yesterday and all, so I wanted to cheer you up a bit." God, was that as lame as it sounded in my head?

How nice is she? "Hey, thanks Montana. That's real nice of ya."

She smiled as he relieved her of the food and placed it on the coffee table while she hung up her jacket. "Well, what can I say? My mother raised me right, I guess."

He once again took in the sight of her midriff as she reached up to hang her jacket. "I'll say," he said under his breath.

She turned to him with an expectant look on her face, "Sorry? I didn't hear you."

Think fast! "Just said that the food looks good. What kinda pizza is it?"

"I wasn't sure what kind you like, so I got one pepperoni and one all-dressed." I guess we'll both have cold pizza for lunch for a couple of days. Oops.

"Good call. I like 'em both."

"I think this might be the first pizza I've eaten since that time you sent me… what was it? Fifteen of them? As a prank, way back when." I have to admit, that was a good one.

Danny counted out the message 'Messer is the Master' on his fingers. "Seventeen, actually."

"Jess and I ended up having an impromptu pizza party with our entire building. We're now the most popular girls in the complex." Talk about an expensive way to meet the neighbours.

"Glad I could be of service," he smirked, putting his hands behind his head and looking entirely too pleased with himself.

"I should really make you pay me back for those pies, though."

"Are you kiddin' me? I more than paid for them with the embarrassment of having my home movies shown to the whole lab!"

She laughed, "Ohhh yeah. I forgot about that."

"How in the world did you convince my mother to give them to you, anyway?" She never would tell me.

Lindsay shrugged, "I told her I was pranking you because you were mean to me. She said she liked a girl with that kind of … what was the word? Chutzpah. I didn't know your mother was Jewish."

"She's not. Her best friend is, though." I can't believe my own mother turned on me like that. He shook his head in disbelief. "You never cease to amaze me, Montana."

"You're pretty amazing yourself, Messer."

They both blushed and started in on their pizza, not daring to look at each other. Things were definitely getting interesting.