Long Way Home

Chapter 52 – Intervals-Part I

Late September – Earth

Jen woke as the car pulled off the freeway and came to a stop. I'm nearly home. Her father made a right turn, pulling onto the busy street next to the freeway. The familiar sights of the small town of Althea flowed past; the hospital, the county library, the small downtown area with its combination of historic Old West store fronts and more modern buildings. She looked dully at the window, the sights barely registering for she felt battered and tired; numb even. It had been three days since her return from Faerun and there was still no sign of Haer'Dalis, not that she truly had any way of knowing whether he'd eventually come through the portal or not. She continued to wonder and worry with a part of her saying he'd been wounded too badly to follow – or even that he was dead - while another denied it, insisting that it was only a matter of time before he appeared.

The last couple of days had been particularly hard as her parents had continued to gently press her for details about her disappearance and she'd finally told them the truth - or at least a version of it – which, as she suspected, only served to make them worry more. But it's true, one minute I was standing in the sunlight looking at the stone I'd found and the next I was somewhere else. Beth says she came out of the cave right behind me and I was gone. Like I told Dad, that's what happened and I have no rational way to explain it except to say that maybe there are things I can't remember. She sighed to herself; I can't believe that the idea that I might have been hit over the head and carried off; that I might have some form of amnesia, seems to be preferable to thinking that there's no explanation. Either way though he and Mom probably just think I've lost my mind. Although why they think so when Beth's story is so similar is beyond me. The thought was hardly comforting and she wondered how others would view her as well. I should never have come back. The notion was hardly comforting and she wondered how others would view her as well. I should never have come back. A flash of guilt accompanied this last thought for had she not returned, her parents would still be in pain, thinking her possibly dead.

She continued to look out the car window, wanting the trip to be over and realizing that now that she was back she was looking forward to being in her own house. I'm glad there's still a place of my own to come back to. Her house belonged to her parents and although she hadn't worried that it would be sold –they were her landlords after all – she had been concerned that they might have rented it out to someone else. However, they'd reassured her that nothing had changed, her mother adding, "I just couldn't bear to go through your things. Not yet anyway," before hugging Jen and bursting into tears as she had several times since they'd been reunited.

When they reached Main Street her father went through the intersection rather than turning left as Jen had expected. "Hey Dad, you missed my turn," she said.

He shook his head, "No, I didn't. Your mother and I think it's best if you come home with us for a few days. The doc said we should observe you and we can't do that if you're not living with us. One of us will take you over later to get a few of your things."

"You can move into your old room for awhile," her mother added. "It'll be like old times." She turned to look at Jen, smiling somewhat tremulously at her. "I miss having you there."

Jen nodded. She knew they were concerned but the thought of going home with her parents wasn't a particularly happy one, for not only would she have preferred being alone but it made her less available should Haer'Dalis show up.

"Alright," she said aloud. "But I definitely want to go over later today." So I can get my cell phone in case Haery calls.


Late Eleint - Faerun

Fire lanced through Haer'Dalis's left shoulder and across his chest as he shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position on the hard pallet. He grimaced, groaning softly and gritting his teeth as he wondered how long it would be before he either recovered sufficiently to be mobile or died of infection. While he truly believed decay and death to be the ultimate goal of everything in the Multiverse he had to admit that the philosophy was much easier to espouse when one was not the focus of it. He didn't actually have much experience as a patient as he was a fine swordsman and had avoided serious injury for most of his career. As to his current state, he knew he most likely would have evaded the blow this time had he not been distracted by his worries over Jen's safety. As he searched for comfortable spot on the hard mattress, he found his mind drifting and the bland beige walls of the infirmary giving way to a rather familiar section of hilly forest.

The sword leapt towards him and he slid backwards, his weight going onto his back foot almost automatically in response to Isaea's lunge. Instinct kept him moving as Isaea lunged at him again and he found himself twisting, turning and trying to disengage but to no avail. The man was quick; he had to give him that. He felt rather than saw Isaea's blade sliding past his guard. A tree rose up behind, catching him squarely across the back, the force of the impact driving the air out of his lungs and as he struggled to breathe he felt pain blossoming in his left shoulder.

There was no time to think for Isaea followed, flying towards him with sword going back for a final, killing blow. Desperately he disengaged; ducking with almost mechanical precision to avoid being skewered again. Looking quickly around he spotted Jen standing near the opening and ran towards her; heard himself shouting at her to leave…to go through the conduit….

The vision of Jen falling into the portal was suddenly replaced by the more immediate presence of the rather stout monk who had drifted up to examine his bandages, "The bleeding seems to have stopped," the man murmured as he glanced at Haer'Dalis. "Are you thirsty? You should be; you lost a lot of blood."

Haer'Dalis nodded, realizing he was indeed quite thirsty. The brother went to a barrel at the far end of the room and scooped out a dipperful of water, then returned, holding the ladle to Haer'Dalis's lips with one hand while steadying him with the other as he greedily sucked down the cool water. Once he was finished he slumped back onto the rigid mattress in exhaustion.

"Try to rest," the monk said. "I'll be back in a little while with something for you to eat; a bit of broth maybe. It will be sometime before you regain your strength."

"Wait," Haer'Dalis croaked. "How did I get here? My…colleague…."

"Your colleagues brought you here two days ago. They too were wounded but unlike you, did not refuse healing. You do remember refusing to allow us to heal you, do you not?" He waited a moment, then satisfied by Haer'Dalis's brief nod, continued, "Once your friends saw you were in good hands they decided to leave, to return to…Athkalta I believe. They left your things…and money to provide for your care." He turned, gliding silently out of the room leaving Haer'Dalis alone to continue his painful search for a comfortable position.

Finding one that was at least tolerable, he settled down and as he drifted off to sleep he once again saw Jen standing in front of the portal and felt his heart twist. She hadn't wanted to go and in fact she'd argued with him - oh she most certainly had - but at least she'd gone through. He smiled, slipping back into sound sleep eased by the certainty that as much as he missed her, she was undoubtedly safe and that he had the hope of following her soon.


Late October - Earth

I'm gonna have to get out and rake leaves soon, Jen thought as she looked out her front window. The wind was blowing gently at the moment but it was likely to pick up soon, bringing down another avalanche of yellow and brown leaves to blanket the yard's dying vegetation. Normally she enjoyed the shifting seasons, looking forward with eager anticipation to the cooler weather, winter's holidays and best of all, skiing. However, today the drifting leaves served only to remind her of the passage of time; that it had been several weeks since her return and there had still been no word from or sign of Haer'Dalis. And given the change in seasons, she knew that even if he came through the portal he probably couldn't reach her for Wizard Island was closed for winter. Her chest tightened; constricted by the sudden tears which rose to her eyes as she thought, Haery I miss you so much.

She took a swallow of coffee, wiping her eyes and wishing for what seemed like at least the thousandth time, that she'd not come back. It's not just Haer'Dalis. I didn't think I'd miss Faerun but I do. I felt alive there; more connected somehow. And I miss my friends there. Beth and Franny are here but now I miss everyone in Faerun, especially Nalia. Shaking her head, she acknowledged to herself that it was harder to be back than she'd thought possible.

The past several weeks had been filled with the frequently frustrating tasks of clearing her status as a "missing person," looking for a job and of course, managing her parents who, although making every effort to be supportive, continued to worry about her stability as evidenced by their daily calls and visits. She'd forced herself into a routine – a morning run with Beth frequently followed by job hunting – a necessity given that her employer had initiated job abandonment proceedings within a few weeks of her disappearance. She'd only now managed to be approved as a substitute teacher at a private school and that was after going through yards of red tape that had included fresh fingerprinting and other security screenings as well as an assessment by a local psychologist. Even if I'm hired permanently next year, I need something more than substituting right now.

I don't know what I'd have done without Beth. They'd been together every day since her return. Beth had even been waiting at her parents' house for her when she'd arrived thanks to her mother who'd contacted her as they'd pulled off the freeway. Jen had barely managed to get out of the car before she'd found herself wrapped in Beth's arms. They'd hugged each other enthusiastically, standing in the middle of the driveway until Jen's parents had shooed them inside. It hadn't taken long for them to regain their former intimacy and soon Jen found herself sharing confidences with Beth including the fact that she'd planned to bring Haer'Dalis home with her. Reconnecting with Franny, on the other hand, had been far more difficult for she, like many others, viewed Jen cautiously as if she were slightly unhinged.

She'd had to tell her story over and over, including her admission that she couldn't explain or possibly remember how she'd gotten so far away from home; a tale which satisfied no one, including herself. She had told Beth more than most and took comfort in the fact that Beth's story provided some validation but it was still hard not to tell her parents the complete truth. Mom and Dad certainly wouldn't understand and even Beth would be shocked at what I've done if she knew everything. And if that wasn't enough, she knew blamed herself for Haer'Dalis's absence although his presence would have been problematic as well as Beth had pointed out in one of their first conversations after her return saying, "Jen, be real. If your friend had come with you, it's true you might not have asked for help on Wizard Island and gone through that mess, but you still would have had to clear things up with the sheriff's office and unless you kept him hidden from everyone – and I mean everyone –there's no way they wouldn't have found out and interfered somehow."

She sighed, remembering Beth's words. But I did want to come home at least to say good-bye, although if I hadn't we'd be together and he'd probably still be alive. The thought crystallized, stunning her into the realization that she truly was beginning to think he was dead. Her eyes went to the leather band about her wrist and she touched the bead, running her fingers over the pattern as another and far more painful thought struck her. I never told him I loved him. He told me he loved me, but I never really said the words back. That really sucks. Her throat ached as her eyes began to stinging again although this time her tears were more angry than sad; frustration at her previous reticence as well as the unfairness of now not having the chance to tell him clearly how she felt.

Rubbing the back of her neck abstractedly she resumed staring out the window. Coffee and misery seemed to have become part of her regular morning routine, making it hard to start the day with any enthusiasm at all although she knew she'd feel better once she got moving. She rose, placing her coffee cup in the sink just as the doorbell rang. She heard the door open and a cheery voice calling to her.

"Morning Jen! Ready to run?"

"I'll be right there Beth," she replied and headed towards the door.


Late Marpenoth – Faerun

The normally quiet courtyard was filled with the rhythmic sounds of hooves and the rattle of the iron and wooden wheels typical of merchant trains. Haer'Dalis looked up from his spot on the wooden bench outside the monastery's infirmary where he sat soaking in the pale rays of Highharvestide sunlight. Although curious as to what sort of merchant would be traveling so far north this late in the year, he was loathe to move from his comfortable spot.

He stretched carefully, pleased to note that he could do so now without pain. For a time he hadn't been sure that he would survive his wounding. However, he'd been lucky; Isaea's sword had made a deep slash across his chest before bouncing off his ribs and through his shoulder, coming perilously close to the joint. Now that several weeks had passed, his wounds had healed and he was beginning to use his arm more fully once again. Brother Jamendithas, the healer had him doing daily workouts of Sun Chi – a form of martial arts that strengthened and stretched his muscles without further injury and he hoped to be able to engage in more strenuous workouts with his blades very soon. Not too much longer before I can follow Jen. The thought pleased him for he missed her lively presence very much. Abbey life was far too sedate and structured for his tastes and provided little by way of entertainment. He enjoyed reading and gaining new lore and had thought he might explore the abbey library. However, the brothers had not been willing to grant him much access to their materials leaving him few ways outside of meditation or light exercise to occupy his time. He was bored and he knew it. Furthermore he knew it was a condition that was likely to get him into trouble even if he had to create the trouble himself.

He returned to the infirmary in search of his lute turning around as the door opened and a woman entered. "Are you…?" Her voice faltered as she looked at him and then she went on in a different and somewhat more engaging tone, "No I guess you're not Brother Jamendithas. But maybe you know where I can find him?" She looked him over, her face and posture softening slightly as she completed her appraisal.

Haer'Dalis returned her frank gaze, his slight smile of welcome broadening into one of admiration as he considered her in turn for she was quite lovely with dark red hair, creamy skin and green eyes. "At the moment, I'm quite grateful not to be Brother Jamendithas," he purred. "But perhaps I can still be of use?"

She laughed. "I'm sure you can. But right now, unless you have healing potions and herbs to sell, it's Brother Jamendithas I need to see."

"Ah. But perhaps I can help you find him? As you can see, " Haer'Dalis waved his hand towards a counter on the opposite side of the room, "he left in the midst of making salves. I believe he went to the monastery gardens for some additional ingredients. I could take you there."

"You could," she agreed. "Or you could entertain me while I wait for him." She glanced at the instrument slung over his shoulder. "You're a bard, are you not?"

"That I am," he replied and went over to open the door, "And in fact I know of a rather lovely spot where we could sit in the sun." He bowed gallantly gesturing to her to precede him. "After you milady."

Brother Jamendithas returned all too quickly for Haer'Dalis's tastes for the young woman immediately jumped up saying, "I must go; our healer will be waiting for me to return. But I've very much enjoyed this."

Haer'Dalis also rose, taking her hand and raising it to his lips, "Truly, a most pleasant interlude. But you've not yet told me your name, my lovely Linnet."

She flushed slightly as he pressed her hand but did not pull away, instead drawing her shoulders up and slightly forward in a self-conscious manner, causing the already loose neckline of her blouse to dip down and expose the tops of her breasts. "My name is Meabh."

He felt certain her movement had been deliberate and his eyes slid down to enjoy her display, then returned to her face. "And mine is Haer'Dalis. Perhaps I'll see you again before your caravan departs," he replied letting go of her hand somewhat reluctantly.

She looked at him speculatively for a moment and then said, "Perhaps you'd like to join us for dinner? We're staying overnight and my partners and I don't often have the opportunity of such pleasurable entertainment. Your company would delight us and perhaps ours will do the same for you." Her smile was full of promise as was the look that accompanied it, confirming his feeling that her discomfiture a few moments before had not been the artless gesture it had been intended to seem.

As he nodded his acceptance an odd feeling of discomfort came over him; a squirming sensation that stayed with him as he watched her walk away.

Haer'Dalis turned to see Brother Jamendithas looking at him, a quizzical smile playing across his lips. He had clearly been watching the exchange and for some inexplicable reason Haer'Dalis found himself flushing slightly. He couldn't recall the last time he had been embarrassed – his last such memory was from when he was very young, but under the monk's knowing gaze he found himself growing warm, and what was even more puzzling to him, somewhat angry with himself.

"Good thing your lady wasn't here to see that last bit," Brother Jamendithas finally said in a placid tone. His face and voice were both calm as if he were commenting on the weather.

"My lady?" Haer'Dalis asked blankly. He felt certain the cleric meant Jen but he was hard pressed to understand how the man knew about her.

"Yes," Brother Jamendithas replied. "You were in my infirmary for a couple of days before you awakened and even though you weren't quite conscious, you were clearly talking to a woman and telling her you loved her."

"I see," he replied stiffly. For once in his rather glib career he found himself loss for words. Jen would certainly understand that I was only attempting to alleviate boredom. Or would she? He remembered his words to her – his promise – on the first night they'd made love, I have many qualities, but constancy has not been amongst them. However, for your sake, I shall strive to make it so. The thought was followed almost instantly by the memory of Jen's introduction to Aerie. Although she'd handled herself well enough and had been accepting enough in the end, she clearly hadn't enjoyed it. He felt himself flushing as he concluded that she probably wouldn't have taken his flirting with Meabh well at all.

"Twas nothing," he snapped defensively as much at Jen as at Brother Jamendithias. "A bit of entertainment with a woman who clearly understood it for what it was and that is all! It does not affect my feelings in the slightest." He turned and walked away, heading towards the abbey's extensive gardens, leaving the monk staring thoughtfully after him.

The abbey's garden lay hidden behind a high stone wall providing considerable privacy for those desiring a quiet space for contemplation. Although Haer'Dalis hadn't intended to go there, his feet had taken him through the monastery's walkways and across the gravel yard until he found himself standing in front of the entrance. He stood in front of the gate trying to determine whether he wanted to enter its quiet seclusion or seek more convivial company. Given that the monastery provided few options for entertainment, it was hardly likely that much hospitality could be found; unless of course he was to seek out Meabh. The thought was accompanied by another round of the unfamiliar and very uncomfortable squirming feeling that he was beginning to suspect was a twinge of conscience, so he decided the garden was the best option. Pulling open the wooden gate, he slipped inside, choosing a path along the garden's north side and proceeding down a gravel walkway interspersed with sections of wooden planks as he tried to rid himself of the strong, uncomfortable and rather unfamiliar feelings that continued to gnaw at him.

Much as he missed Jen, there had been a few moments during his earlier flirtation with Meabh when he'd found himself remembering and even missing his old self; the Doomguard whose fatalistic acceptance of the efficacy and inevitability of chaos, decay and eventual annihilation had allowed him to flit between events and lovers without thought or regret. His life experience had taught him full well the futility of connection so instead he'd comforted himself with constant change. The philosophy had served him admirably for it had often kept him from feeling the pain of rejection if giving him none of the benefits of being truly loved.

He sighed and continued walking, trying to divert himself by focusing on the physical sensation of each step, the feeling of legs and feet tensing as he lifted them followed by a slight vibration as they touched the ground once again. Within a few paces he found himself stepping rhythmically. The cadence was soothing and somehow seemed to create space for thought. He became aware as he had earlier of how much he missed Jen's presence. It had been easy to be with her for she'd accepted him for who he was without reservation. It had been a unique experience to one who had been taught from his earliest years to remain alert to the constant suspicion, assumptions and hatred of others; an awareness that had taught him to protect and care for himself. I watch my own back.

But he hadn't needed to watch his back with Jen and that had left him vulnerable to her in a way he hadn't thought possible for as their relationship had developed and changed from attraction to passion, he'd found his feelings growing and deepening; found himself becoming attached to her. That had surprised him for he had long been expert at portraying emotions while maintaining distance from the feelings themselves.

Rounding a bend in the path, he caught sight of a small wooden bench placed next to a small pond. Something about the setting reminded him of Nanny Bea's small garden in Athkatla and the first time he had kissed Jen. The memory brought with it an additional recollection of the first of his many promises to her. Although truly in the beginning, I was quite willing to make promises I didn't intend to keep. The thought disturbed him and his mind flinched at the very real possibility that without the collusion of circumstance, he might have never had the opportunity to experience another being in the way he had Jen.

And what if I can't find her again after all this? He did have information along with the rather strange instrument she'd left with him as an aid. He also knew himself to be quite resourceful but the thought of being in a world where magic was replaced by machines was a bit daunting, leaving him wishing once again albeit briefly, for the simplicity of his old life.

He continued to walk and think as more memories floated to the surface. He was an actor and conversation was his way, yet he knew he'd never reassured or made quite so many promises to another as he had to Jen. The words echoed in his mind, I followed to bring you back for I knew then I could not let you go, perhaps as much for my sake as yoursKnow that I have never done such a thing before and did not believe until now that I could ever be willing to do so much for anyone...

Another memory, this time of the Lady of Pain forcing him to acknowledge his actions for what they were; an attempt to reconcile his belief in the inevitability of death with his desire for Jen to live. He'd told her he'd acted out of love. She'd laughed; telling him that his behavior was 'nauseatingly sentimental,' but she'd also warned him. Change allows you to keep your treasure. Fail to learn and it is lost forever.

His feelings really hadn't changed. I do love Jen. He knew it had been a conscious choice – oh not initially, but certainly by the time the Lady had confronted him – to go with his heart and he had no real regrets. Still, 'tis easy enough to fall back into old habits when one is bored. Clearly the solution is to follow Jen sooner than later.


The next morning he watched as Meabh's caravan rolled through the monastery gates, heading towards Beregost. She'd done her best the previous evening to continue their flirtation and expand it to something more but strengthened by his earlier deliberations, he'd resisted temptation, responding to her pleasantly without succumbing to her overtures. Being no fool, Meabh had seemed to understand fairly quickly that while he was not immune to her rather copious charms his heart was engaged elsewhere for she'd accepted his rebuff with good grace, merely commenting that the lady who had gained his attention was fortunate to have so devout a lover.